Life Altering

[catlady]

Around late 15 or early 16 starting listening to Metallica and Buckethead. Not gonna sugarcoat it, Master of Puppets blew my mind, first time I heard it it's length blew my mind. Buckethead impressed me because of his style and weird clothing choice. The reason these two changed my life was because I became more open minded. Church said we weren't suppose to listen to this kind of music, and people randomly bashed Buckethead in GnR videos. It began to make me question stuff, which wasn't allowed in the church I went, and it made me more accepting to other ideas too without to much judgment. So I left the church, became more accepting to others and became open minded. Of course I lost heavy respect learning about Metallica's money grabbing ways, but that doesn't stop me from listening to a good amount of their music since a lot of it is actually good, but that's more or less another story.

I have seen more churches turn people away from God then bring them to him. So sad. Their loss. You're a kewl dood.

 

[I Mc Hunt]

'The closer to the church, the farther from God'

- Bishop Lancelot Andrews

 

[Shadie T]

My anxiety coming up, it sounds like a minor thing to some people but it has changed my life and it will never go away, I have to deal with it my whole life. It came up after going away with my school for the week, I had been the previous year and had no issues at all and really enjoyed it, that day we had been playing ice hokey and I started to feel pretty restless and agitated, when getting back to the place we were staying at I still had this feeling, during this time I was being bullied a lot and after getting my dinner someone knocked it out of my hands and all over me to a laughing crowd, this left me pretty upset and I had trouble sleeping that night waking up trying to open windows, struggling breathing, then I was either too cold or too warm, waking up every 15 minutes, feeling claustrophobic in an open room, the next day I left to do more stuff the next day and my friends who were in the same room as me that night were talking to me about it and I just brushed it off and then later that day I had a panic attack and had to leave, not helping things when I came home my dad was pretty angry at me (not know the severity of the situation) that he had spent a lot of money on the trip for me to leave, months went on and nothing was said on it and then it was my first day of high school, first class was fine then in the middle of the second class here comes back this feeling I felt that night months ago, I just broke down and wasn't talking, I was then taken from the room to the medical room where it took hours for them to calm me and convince me not to leave and my sister had to miss her classes to help me, then for months every day I was saying I felt sick to try and leave the school and then I was taken to see a doctor, she told me about my anxiety explained it all, referred me to a specialist after that I was missing weeks of school on end which still haunts me to this day, I was falling behind everyone, some teachers told me I was faking it, people bullied and still do about it telling me I stay home to play my xbox because im lazy, my best fucking friend since I was 5 turned his back on me, every day people who I never met in my life know my name and come up to me asking me "Are you the boy who stays home and plays xbox?" and when I nicely reply No they always tell me I am a liar and continue verbal abuse, it still happens today, people older and younger than me, I then got really depressed which has gotten a lot better but I still feel the same way often, just for years now every day is fighting a battle I will never win, even the specialist told me they can do nothing for me, so I was left a depressed mess with attendance at school less than 30%. Not much has changed to be honest, I will leave that school in 2 years with hardly any knowledge. It has changed my life forever.

 

[catlady]

My anxiety coming up, it sounds like a minor thing to some people but it has changed my life and it will never go away, I have to deal with it my whole life. It came up after going away with my school for the week, I had been the previous year and had no issues at all and really enjoyed it, that day we had been playing ice hokey and I started to feel pretty restless and agitated, when getting back to the place we were staying at I still had this feeling, during this time I was being bullied a lot and after getting my dinner someone knocked it out of my hands and all over me to a laughing crowd, this left me pretty upset and I had trouble sleeping that night waking up trying to open windows, struggling breathing, then I was either too cold or too warm, waking up every 15 minutes, feeling claustrophobic in an open room, the next day I left to do more stuff the next day and my friends who were in the same room as me that night were talking to me about it and I just brushed it off and then later that day I had a panic attack and had to leave, not helping things when I came home my dad was pretty angry at me (not know the severity of the situation) that he had spent a lot of money on the trip for me to leave, months went on and nothing was said on it and then it was my first day of high school, first class was fine then in the middle of the second class here comes back this feeling I felt that night months ago, I just broke down and wasn't talking, I was then taken from the room to the medical room where it took hours for them to calm me and convince me not to leave and my sister had to miss her classes to help me, then for months every day I was saying I felt sick to try and leave the school and then I was taken to see a doctor, she told me about my anxiety explained it all, referred me to a specialist after that I was missing weeks of school on end which still haunts me to this day, I was falling behind everyone, some teachers told me I was faking it, people bullied and still do about it telling me I stay home to play my xbox because im lazy, my best fucking friend since I was 5 turned his back on me, every day people who I never met in my life know my name and come up to me asking me "Are you the boy who stays home and plays xbox?" and when I nicely reply No they always tell me I am a liar and continue verbal abuse, it still happens today, people older and younger than me, I then got really depressed which has gotten a lot better but I still feel the same way often, just for years now every day is fighting a battle I will never win, even the specialist told me they can do nothing for me, so I was left a depressed mess with attendance at school less than 30%. Not much has changed to be honest, I will leave that school in 2 years with hardly any knowledge. It has changed my life forever.

Anxiety/Panic disorders are horrible and very rarely do they get taken seriously. Aside from my mother, no one in my family took them seriously. My own Aunt, whom I was very close to, said it was all in my head, when in fact, I had no control over when it happened. I didn't even have any triggers. I could be laughing my butt off and the next thing I know, I can't breath. You know I understand where you are coming from. It is not a forever thing though. My mother had them very bad at my age and when she hit her 30's she stopped having them. Every once in a while she feels one coming on but it is no where near what it was. So cheer up. Never accept defeat to an illness. Most cases, anxiety/panic disorders have to do with hormones which is why, with age, they get weaker and fade away. To qoute John Cena and be corny as all hell...
NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER! :angry: