Lance Storm bitch smacks TNA. (Again)

[monkeystyle]

Can any of you TNA fans actually justify this?

To avoid this turning into a long rant I am simply going to ask a few of the questions that ran threw my mind this week while I watched Impact.

- Am I the only one that noticed that TNA Impact this week had less than 18 minutes of actual wrestling on the program. Official match times totaled, I believe, 17 minutes and 55 second. ECW has had more wrestling minutes than that on their show and ECW is but half the length. If we break down the entire 120 minutes of the program we have 18 minutes of wrestling (I rounded up), 32 minutes of commercials, and 70 minutes of skits, promos, and general stupidity. Keep in mind the name of this company is Total Nonstop Action, yet only 15% of this show was action. This leaves 27% of the show for commercials, and 58% of the show skits, comedy, and talking. There was even one stretch where they went 37 minutes with out a wrestling match. Can this even be called a wrestling show anymore?

- Why would any sane person book Jay Lethal vs. Alex Shelley and Christy Hemme vs. Sejourner Bolt on the same show and decide to give the latter match more than twice the time as the former? We had the opportunity to see Jay Lethal and Alex Shelly wrestling in TNA (Total Nonstop Action) and they were given less than 2 minutes for their match. What a wasted opportunity to entertain fans! I guess the thought process must be that the big Sejourner Bolt heel turn will draw ratings and PPV buys. I know I’m on the edge of my seat waiting to find out where that angle goes. Are there not already more heels than faces in the Knockouts division?

- Why are backstage segments not reshot when guys screw up and call Brother Rey, “Bubba”? Bubba isn’t his name on this show nor has it even been!

- What does it mean if Samoa Joe is the last LEGIT old school bad ass? Does it mean the rest of the guys on the roster are all just a bunch of FAKE tough guys? I guess that is at least consistent with the current booking trend, as damn near everyone in the Front Line is booked like dumb pussies.

- I know it’s his gimmick but why the hell was James Storm allowed to come to the ring with a beer bottle in his hand, in a beer bottle on a pole match? Why bother climbing the F—king pole, when he is allowed to bring a beer bottle to ring side with him? Have you ever seen a weapon on a pole match where one of the guys in the match just comes out with the weapon to start the match?

- Is TNA trying to appeal to the mentally challenged by booking so many unbelievably stupid people on the program? I’m not saying this is a bad idea; it might be a good target market for them because I don’t see how or why any sane people could follow this show. The Beautiful people are so incredibly stupid that they not only think this fake Sarah Pallin is the real person (and no one in TNA has pointed out to them that she is not) but they also think she and John McCain won the election. Abyss is also now apparently Blue, not knowing the difference between cartoons and real life, and I know Curry man is “Japanese” but how does that translate into him being so stupid that he actually thinks there is a Fired Championship in TNA. Perhaps he thought Booker was inventing another pointless Title.

- Who is TNA creative has the testicular fixation? Samoa Joe lost 2 PPV main events in a row because of Ball shots. Jay Lethal lost this week due to a ball shot. Matt Morgan got laid out with a Ball shot to set up the finish on the pole match. Kong should be World Champ based solely on the fat that she isn’t susceptible to ball shots.

- WTF happened between the MEM and Mick Foley? Kurt all but threatened to kill Foley at the PPV and somehow after a 2-minute conversation they are all laughing and joking like old friends. This may have been intended to create curiosity but it just came off contradictory and unbelievable to me. This may be the fastest I’ve quit caring about a new “Superstar” addition to the company.

- Who thought having the guy from Iran wear a towel on his head would be a good idea? Are they trying to alienate every segment of the population? Foreigners are stupid, Muslims wearing towels on their heads, this is so unbelievably offensive to me and I am neither Muslim nor Foreign.

 

[seX-Power]

I thought I posted in thsi thread...

 

[THE Brian Kendrick's Biceps]

lul pwnt

I know it’s his gimmick but why the hell was James Storm allowed to come to the ring with a beer bottle in his hand, in a beer bottle on a pole match? Why bother climbing the F—king pole, when he is allowed to bring a beer bottle to ring side with him? Have you ever seen a weapon on a pole match where one of the guys in the match just comes out with the weapon to start the match?

:rofl:

This whole thing was fucking hilarious.

 

[Cannibal]

Lance Storm always has great points and I usually agree with him. I agree that TNA blows, but for the most part, I think it's better than the WWE.

 

[Rell]

wow, I just said the same thing about the pole match a thread ago, and Jeremy Borash (I know that's you Chessarmy :dry claimed I was "complaining for the sake of complaining"...

Its pretty sad.

remember when TNA was actually a promotion people took seriously? me neither

 

[Soulpower]

based solely on the fat that she isn’t susceptible to ball shots.

at Lance Storm.

 

[Colin Gimp]

I'm a Lance storm fan, but we all know TNA has it's faults and nitpicking it at this point (when they've been doing stupid shit for at least a year and a half) is just stupid and trivial. Stop beating a dead horse or try and do something about it jeez. They seem like they will hire anyone Lance, are you the only one they won't? Go for a creative position then Lance

 

[Chuck Taylor's Grenade]

- Is TNA trying to appeal to the mentally challenged by booking so many unbelievably stupid people on the program? I’m not saying this is a bad idea; it might be a good target market for them because I don’t see how or why any sane people could follow this show.

quoted for awesomeness.

 

[Tsaalyo Phoenix]

"Hi, I'm Lance Storm. I was a midcarder when I wrestled, I'm a nobody now, and I can't count the people outside of the IWC who give a damn about me on one hand because counting with your hand implies a value of at least 1. TNA, bitch bitch bitch. I find fault with everything I'm not a part of, bitch bitch bitch. A new storyline development occured that I didn't forsee and therefore it's Blue, bitch bitch bitch. I have nothing better to do with my life than graph television programs by segment to the milisecond, bitch bitch bitch. Testicles, bitch bitch BITCH."

TNA has faults like any other promotion, but a lot of what Storm is complaining about is nothing more than opinion. The ratings spike at Christy/Bolt confirms it, as does the record-setting ratings as a whole as of late. Lance is becoming the next Damien Demento, but according to the bandwagon-jumping marks here, as long as the bashing is directed towards TNA, it makes sense.

 

[seX-Power]

I never got the ratings for TNA. It's like people only watch during the times when you're meant to go take a piss and then tune out for the ME. Smart fans, imo.

 

[J]

"Hi, I'm Lance Storm. I was a midcarder when I wrestled, I'm a nobody now, and I can't count the people outside of the IWC who give a damn about me on one hand because counting with your hand implies a value of at least 1. TNA, bitch bitch bitch. I find fault with everything I'm not a part of, bitch bitch bitch. A new storyline development occured that I didn't forsee and therefore it's Blue, bitch bitch bitch. I have nothing better to do with my life than graph television programs by segment to the milisecond, bitch bitch bitch. Testicles, bitch bitch BITCH."

TNA has faults like any other promotion, but a lot of what Storm is complaining about is nothing more than opinion. The ratings spike at Christy/Bolt confirms it, as does the record-setting ratings as a whole as of late. Lance is becoming the next Damien Demento, but according to the bandwagon-jumping marks here, as long as the bashing is directed towards TNA, it makes sense.

*Claps*

*Leaves thread*

 

[monkeystyle]

TNA has bigger faults than California does fault lines. Made all the worse by the fact that it is the so-called "Second Largest Promotion in North America." Other promotions have similar faults, but they're the type being run out of a high school gym. But a lot of what Storm is complaining about is entirely accurate (especially the less than eighteen minutes worth of wrestling on a two hour show) however I am going to write it off as being nothing more than opinion because I ain't got shit to argue this otherwise.

MS'd baby.

Now its more accurate.

 

[_-_-Magnus-_-_]

Soulpower caught this already...but I still think its great:

Kong should be World Champ based solely on the fat...

THATS PRICELESS!

 

[Evil Austin]

Lance Storm = Fucking Legend. Hands down agreed with 100% of that. Lance Storm has earned repsect in my books and hopefuly TNA listens to his comments. He may not have the most title runs in the world but he knows what he is talking about.

 

[The Rated R CMStar]

Lol at Roxxi, he decided to attack the credibility of of Lance Storm instead of arguing his points.

ALL he said in there was right. The only thing is arguable is him bashing the fact that they gave more time to the knockouts than Lethal vs Shelley. However, he's right, nobody is going to buy a PPV because of Bolt turning heel.