Smarkverse

[Canadian Dragon]

fun stuff! good first episode with lots of stones set

 

[Canadian Dragon]

@King Switch send me a pm when you are around about Bandido and the other ROH world title. im booking him for a defence at wk n3 but i think maybe we could write a segment for the post match to start building towards that

 

[Kross Rhodes]

Those Elite graphics are so sexy!

Beautifully written first show font Juice. Thank you.

You really brought my notes to life with great detail.

 

[Kross Rhodes]

Edit: Added the sub unit House of Torture.

Bolstering six-man division.

 

[Canadian Dragon]

Big announcements:

Maclin has come to terms with Njpw, he will debut on the World network premiere.

Our first live broadcast of Monday Night World will be from California

 

[Canadian Dragon]

After Wrestle Kingdom ends NJPW WORLD announces their California tour, culminating with New Beginnings in February from Dodger's Stadium!

January 17th - WORLD - Pechanga Arena, San Diego
January 24th - WORLD - Chase Center, San Francisco
January 31st - WORLD - Oakland Arena, Oakland
February 5th - NEW BEGINNINGS - Dodger's Stadium, Los Angeles

edit: all three nights of WK are obviously at the tokyo dome
​

 

[CakeWalker]

Japanese fans going to riot lol

 

[Canadian Dragon]

Japanese fans going to riot lol

we are the kings of the pacific. so i plan on making the pacific coast, japan, australia and nz etc territories to get more fans in

 

[CakeWalker]

FEATURING ON THIS WEEK'S DYNAMITE

​

 

[Kross Rhodes]

Sasha

I like the preview.

 

[Marty McFourth]

Banks and Bel-Air face to face.

 

[Canadian Dragon]

 

[CakeWalker]

Dynamite #118

00:00-00:03

As the first episode of Dynamite of 2022 would begin, we would immediately head to the top of the ramp where the Dynamite commentary team would have taken their seats ahead of what was set to be a special edition of the show - New Year’s Smash.

Jim Ross: Welcome folks to another night of fantastic wrestling. My name is Jim Ross and welcome to the Prudential Center, New Jersey.

Excalibur: Made a mistake there JR.

Jim Ross: A mistake?

Excalibur: Here it comes…

Taz: New Jersey! New Jersey! If there was ever to remind anyone that New Jersey is the sewers for the greatest state of New York and all our garbage is sent southward. That is why - if you stand on your tiptoes you can just smell the wafts of pollution in the air.

Jim Ross: Well I say.

Before this conversation spirals out of control, Excalibur takes control of the situation.

Excalibur: Tonight we have a loaded card - with our first match this even a tag team match between…

Before Excalibur can say another word though, the entrance theme belonging to Kenny Omega blasts around the Prudential Center as the current AEW World Champion emerges from the back dressed in drippy swag and looking a million dollars.




Taz: The greatest professional wrestler in our sport is right here folks, and I guess the production team didn’t get the memo that the schedule of every show is built around the champ and not the other way around.

Jim Ross: Kenny looks like a man with a purpose tonight, and you have got to wonder what exactly he has on his mind that he wants to open tonight’s show with.

Excalibur: This is Omega’s world - and we just have to be grateful to be part of it.

Taz: I couldn’t say it any better myself Excalibur.

Kenny finishes his entrance, by as dramatic as possible as he does so before grabbing hold of a microphone and clambering into the ring.

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00:03-00:15

As his music is finally cut, Kenny stands in the middle of the ring with a massive smile on his face and the AEW World Championship firmly strapped around his waist as he is almost peacocking himself so everyone with a view of him is reminded as to just who the champion is. Kenny soaks up the atmosphere for a solid minute without saying a word, and if there are any heckles or jeers towards him he certainly doesn’t hear them.

Kenny Omega: Breath it in New Jersey, breathe it in. You are all sharing the same oxygen as the single handed greatest wrestler in the history of space and time - a wrestling God who lives amongst the stars and travels throughout the multiverse kicking ass and winning all the gold - the man who is the solution to all your problems and the reason for anyone’s success. I am Kenny Omega and you are all welcome.

Kenny gets a mixed response from the crowd, despite him being such an obvious heel - he has amassed such a large following over the years that even when he takes on the role of the bad guy the fans just love him more. Not that he actually acknowledges anyone in the crowd for doing this.

Kenny Omega: I am the first person to stand in the middle of an AEW in 2022 and do you know why? Well the reason is simple because I am the star attraction and I am the main-event and without me on the roster All Elite Wrestling quickly All Average Wrestling and I for one wouldn’t watch any of that crap myself. Saying that as soon as I head to the back after this welcome speech, I am going to lying on a massage table and get the five star rubdown because I deserve it because unlike some of the other losers in the back - I don’t need to stand beside one of the monitors hoping I get a place on the show. Because without me there is no show - which would mean all you losers in the crowd wearing my t-shirt and seeking my approval would probably be back at home in the sewers playing a game of the pin the tail on the sewer rat!

This time Kenny gets a lot of heat from the crowd, who clearly didn’t enjoy being insulted - not that it stops Kenny Omega.

Kenny Omega: And for those of you that didn’t even finish high school - which isn’t surprising considering how uneducated this country is - what I am saying is that New Jersey is a toxic swamp full of no good dirty rats!

The boos and jeers are really starting now, but Kenny just has a massive smile on his face as he carries on addressing the fans.

Kenny Omega: But I think I have done enough philanthropic work today making sure that the world is aware of the problems everyone in New Jersey faces on a day-to-day basis. My true purpose of coming out here tonight is to address everyone in the back and make it clear just how disappointed I have become over recent months by the lack of credible challengers to my belt. Is there really not even one single member of this roster that even has the stone to emerge from the back and offer any sort of challenge? Because I am a Titan sitting on the top of Mount Olympus and if I am not able to find anyone worthy of my time then I may have to take a step through the Forbidden Door and seek opponents elsewhere. Because I am sure that I can find someone on…




Before Kenny is able to say another word, out from the tunnel and appearing on AEW programming stands none other than AJ Styles with the fans in the Prudential Center absolutely losing their minds as his music blasts around the arena.

Excalibur: Right before our eyes - AJ Styles is live in the flesh right here on Dynamite.

Taz: Welcome to All Elite Wrestling AJ. This kid has proven himself time and time again as one of the most capable wrestlers in the world and has achieved success everywhere he has gone.

Excalibur: Styles is a nine-time World Champion, and considering he is the man who has just answered Kenny’s call I suspect that he wants his number of reigns to move up into double digits.

Jim Ross: Kenny looks absolutely stunned into silence and to make this even that more interesting that last time that both these men were in the same ring I believe was when Styles made his final appearance in New Japan.

Excalibur: That is correct JR. Omega betrayed Styles and nailed him with the One-Winged Angels before he and the rest of the Bullet Club at the time kicked AJ out from the group. That took place exactly six years ago to the date.

Taz: And by the look of Omega’s face - it is like he has just seen a ghost.

By this time AJ has made his own way into the ring and is standing opposite Kenny with a massive smile on his face and a microphone of his own in his hand as the fans in attendance are absolutely losing their minds with Kenny the first of the two to speak although it is clear that Kenny isn’t directly speaking to Styles.

Kenny Omega: Security! Security! Can we get security out here, we have a member of the audience in the ring.

AJ did a sarcastic laugh to himself before finally speaking himself.

AJ Styles: Ever the comedian Kenny, always looking to make everything into a joke. You see when I was sitting in the back with Tony Khan after making the final checks and signature to my AEW contract - which can I just say is one of the nicest looking contracts I have been part of in my entire career and which will keep me in AEW for quite a while.

The fans cheer at this news, whilst Kenny looks far from thrilled as Styles continues.

AJ Styles: Now I stand in the same ring as the AEW World Champion and after hearing you talk so much absolute shit in the back - I was expecting my knees to start trembling as I stood in the mere presence of a self-acclaimed God. But do you know what I see when I look at you Kenny?

Kenny steps up close to AJ as he responds.

Kenny Omega: What do you see AJ?

AJ Styles: I see the man who betrayed me six years ago in Japan to take control of the Bullet Club.

Kenny smiles at this comment.

AJ Styles: But then I peel the layers back. And I don’t see you with any friends. I see the world title and I see the bravado, but then I peel a layer back and all I see is my former young boy who was worth nothing more than tying up my wrestling boots and washing my towels after a wrestling show. And then I peel the layers back again and I see a little bitch-

SLAM! Kenny charges forward and slams his forearm straight into AJ jaw as the inevitable takes place, as the two men start beating the absolute crap out of each other in the middle of the ring. Neither is able to do too much damage to the other before a security team slides into the ring and separates both men keeping them on opposite sides of the ring, as AJ with a microphone in hand points at Omega as he shouts.

AJ Styles: I am coming for your belt - Young Boy!

The show would then cut to an ad break, as the security team did their best to control the situation.

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00:18-00:30

The first match of the evening would see Private Party take on the True Profits in a match that would certainly prove to be a great first competitive match of the New Year with both teams really forcing the other into working for the win. Kassidy and Quen would spend large periods of the match looking for shortcuts and would bend the rule to get an advantage, but Huracan and Gordan would not only not buckle to the pressure as foul as it was - they also wouldn’t lower themselves to their opponent’s level and it was clear that they only intended to wrestle clean to the point where it almost seemed as if they would have rather have lost, than cheat in order to win. Not that they would have to worry about that, as they would claim the victory when Gordan would lay out Kassidy with the Cash-Out, whilst Hurcaan would take on the role of a defender and prevent Marq Quen from breaking up the pinfall.

Winners: The True Profits

As Gordan would still be on the floor, Wheeler and Harwood would have suck into the ring with Dax spinning Huracan around and lifting him up as Cash would connect up as FTR would connect with the Big Rig laying him out on the mat sending a clear message (that they were coming for the tag team championships) before exiting the ring before Tez Huracan had anytime to respond - with Cash actually mocking Tez and making cry baby gestures as Huracan would check on the state of his tag team partner.

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00:30-00:32
Following the contest, we cut backstage where Charles Gable and Otis Bogojevic - the Academy of Alphas are standing and looking very smug. Gable taps the microphone as he whispers softly under his breath.

Charles Gable: Quiet please, quiet please important information about to be shared. Quiet please.

Otis makes a shushing sound with his mouth as he places his right index finger to his lips making it clear that silence is needed at this time.

Charles Gable: Once again - quiet please, quiet!

Gable waits a few more moments, but the fans can still be heard chanting in the arena which only seems to annoy him more.

Charles Gable: The Academy of Alphas at this time, even if the peasants in the seat surrounding the ring don’t actually deserve to know this information as they clearly lack manners and respect - I am happy to welcome two new faces to the Academy. Previously you might have considered these two men as Betas - but the only way on this earth they would be Betas was if you weren’t able to spell or talk properly and got confused when they said they were….

Gable passes over the microphone as two men enter the shot. Drew Gulak and Harlem Bravado with Gulak grabbing the microphone.

Drew Gulak:...Better than you! But I don’t think there is anything more to say on this subject, because there is so much noise I can barely think.

+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - +

00:32-00:34

Taz: Nerds, right?

Jim Ross: Pardon?

Taz: Don’t you think those Academy dudes are a bunch of nerds? I mean asking for silence, what do they think this is a damn library?

Excalibur: Is there anything wrong with being a nerd?

Taz: Excalibur you for one are a geek and not a nerd. Geeks know stuff about the world and have a place in society, the only place nerds belong is cramped into the back of a locker after they have been beaten up and tendered good and proper by someone much bigger than them.

Jim Ross: That sounds violent.

Taz: Oh it certainly is JR. (Taz laughs) But, it generally brings nonsense to an end and means people don’t need to put up with any nerd shit. I honestly can’t wait for someone to deliver those nerds a knuckle sandwich.

Jim Ross: Sounds painful.

Excalibur: I expect it would be painful.

Taz: If it isn’t painful then it hasn’t been prepared properly and is probably in need of some of JR’s BBQ sauce for good measure.

Jim Ross: Well I can certainly get behind that!

Excalibur: Cheap plugs - anyway, our next match will see two men make their Dynamite debut with Dilsher Shanky taking on Warhorse, right now!

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00:36-00:45

Both Warhorse and Shanky would make their Dynamite debuts, and both were very unique in their ring styles and approaches that put together an original contest that the fans in New Jersey seemed to really get behind. It would be Warhorse though who would prove to be the most conniving and deadly, as after catching Shanky in the stomach with a debilitating up-kick he would spring off the ropes and connect with a springboard double footed stomp to the back of his opponent’s neck before cradling him over for the pinfall.

Winner: Warhorse

+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - +

00:45-00:49
Following his debut victory, Warhorse would have a confused look on his face as out from underneath the ring would appear Danhausen who would slide into the ring grabbing hold of a microphone.

Danhausen: That match performance was very nice and very evil, yes every evil indeed.

Warhorse just has a confused look on his face, with it clear he doesn’t quite know what to make of the situation.

Danhausen: Danhausen - this is me. Would ask his friends - they are known as BUSSY - which I’m not really sure what it means - but it sounds very naughty. I ask these friends to come out from the back and join Danhausen in the ring.

Out from the back would emerge the very flamboyant pairing of Allie Kat and Effy, with the pair looking very pleased with themselves as they would stand behind Danhausen.

Danhausen: Now man who makes war with horses - you are very strong, very talented and I am sure very evil. And me and my very nice friends, would like to congratulate you on becoming the new member of Factionhausen.

Warhorse looks confused, as it seems he is being told rather than asked if he would like to be part of this stable. Warhorse wouldn’t have any time to respond though, as from the back The Butcher (Andy Williams) would emerge from the back flanked by Gacy and H4RL4ND. The Butcher would have a foul look on his face, as he would look at both men at either side before speaking into the mike.

The Butcher: Send them to the Slaughterhouse.

This would result in the trio charging down the ring, where the camera would pick up all three were were rings or brass knuckles as they would lay down a brutal on the newly formed Factionhausen before forcing all four of their victims out of the ring and strutting around the ring like three wolves marking their territory.

+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - +

00:52-00:56

Following a commercial break, Jon Moxley would be standing in the ring as had been advertised prior to the show and considering his character - Moxley was not a man to mince his words or just speak for the sake of hearing his own voice. If he had something to say, then there was normally a good reason behind it.

Jon Moxley: There have been a lot of changes recently, a whole of changes in the wrestling world. Things have fallen one direction, and things have risen in another direction and like all things in like as my dear my wife would delicately put there need to be yin and yang. There needs to be balance, and so I was sitting at home watching WrestleKingdom and I asked myself two questions. Where the fuck was my invite? And then after a few moments to compose my thoughts and calm myself down, I realized there was a more important question that I should be asking myself. Has the world forgotten what it means to be Jon Moxley? Because every time I look in the mirror I see one of the most dangerous men in the world - but perhaps the world has forgotten what it means to step face to face with Jon Moxley.

Suddenly music blasts out around the Prudential Center.




Jim Ross: Business is about to pick up folks.

Taz: Moxley was talking about a good game, but it looks like Johnny Dynamite is here and with one intention.

Jim Ross: Taking him to Slam Town I presume.

Johnny would look very happy with himself as he would strut on the mainstage, as Moxley would look furious as he would signal for the music to be cut as he would bellow out.

Jon Moxley: What do you want Morrison!

Johnny just pulled down his shades and looked at Morrison with a cheeky smile as he lifted a microphone up and tapped it to check it was working before he started to speak.

Johnny Dynamite: Well hello John - or if I was going to be rude like you I would call you Ambrose. Not that anyone wants to here those stupid names being said out loud, because unlike you I am not an idiot You know I was sitting in the back, on the phone to my wife and without a doubt the greatest women’s wrestler of all time and then I heard this annoying sound in my ear. I couldn’t quite work out what it was - but the sound was getting louder and louder that even Taya could hear it and she asked me if I was going to deal with the problem.

Moxley looks agitated.

Jon Moxley: What problem?

Johnny smiles.

Johnny Dynamite: You see now that is funny, because that is exactly what I just asked. To which my good wife said - that crybaby little bitch called Jon Moxley. And I very kindly told my dear wife, that comparing Jon Moxley to a female dog would be an insult to all the bitches world wide - but I did promise I would with the problem. So rather than you rabbit on for the next few minutes, no doubt making a plea at to why you should be in the world title picture or something else blah blah blah - why don’t we just get a referee to come out of the back so I can give you the ass kicking that you are so desperate to receive.

Jon Moxley: Bring it on.

And just like that a referee would emerge from the back, for an impromptu contest between the two men.

+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - +

00:57-1:20

There could be no denying that the match between Moxley and Dynamite was the best contest of the night so far, where Jon brutal his smash mouth and no fear of consequences, Johnny meanwhile would remind everyone just exactly why he was known as ‘The American Luchador’ with both men contrasting styles bringing about a very interesting match for the fans in attendance and the viewers watching at home. Both men would have their standout moments in the contest, with Dynamite nailed Moxley with the aerial offensive Starship Pain with his foe only surviving by managing to drape his left leg on the bottom rope at the last possible moment. Moxley though would give as good as he got, and after smashing Johnny in the face with repeated forearm shots would look to finish the match with the Paradigm Shift. Johnny Dynamite though, would survive to live another day though as would show his wrestling instinct by rolling out of the ring as soon as he had suffered from the impact.

With the action back in the ring, Johnny and the referee would be involved in an awkward exchange in which he would spin the match official around and have him wedged in the ring corner. A clear distraction - as out from the audience T-Breeze would emerge holding a selfie stick and smash it face first into an unsuspecting Moxley before dropping off the apron. With the opportunity presented, Dynamite would release the referee and charge forward, taking out Moxley with a Running Knee Smash to win the contest.

Winner: Johnny Dynamite

After the match, T-Breeze and Johnny would end up pairing up and giving Moxley a post-match beatdown only for Japanese youngster Shota Umino to runout from the back with a steel pipe in his hand as he would chase the pair away in a clear movement of coming to Moxley’s aid.

+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - +

1:23-1:32

The next scene would begin after a commercial break with reigning AEW Women’s Champion Mercedes Banks and one of her long standing rivals Bianca Bel-Air standing in the ring opposite her with Bianca the first of the two to start talking.

Bianca Bel-Air: Now we need to talk about Mercedes, and by business I mean that.

Bianca isn’t coy as she points at the AEW Women’s Championship hanging off Banks’ shoulder, with Mercedes looking as if she is holding back a smile as soon as Bianca makes the gesture.

Bianca Bel-Air: For someone who is meant to be one of the greatest women’s wrestlers of our time, I can’t quite figure out why instead of actually defending your title on tonight’s special instead we are having this strange face to face meeting instead. Because I know that these fans in attendance tonight, would much rather see me laying you out in the ring then talking the breeze and having a verbal exchange.

The fans show their excitement for a prospective fight, as Mercedes raises her hand in the air to indicate she is about to talk.

Mercedes Banks: You want to see me and Bianca fight tonight? For the Women’s Championship in this very ring?

The fans cheer with excitement at the prospect only for Mercedes to let out a resounding chuckle.

Mercedes Banks: If you want to face me for the gold, then you have to earn that right. I can’t just go around and hand out title shots to people that don’t deserve them now - that just wouldn’t be fair on everyone else. And to be perfectly honest Bianca - you don’t deserve to even stand in the same ring as me. But I was nice and allowed this moment to happen, so for just one small moment you could look upon the belt and do what all the other baddies in the back love to do and talk about manifesting your destiny.

Bianca Bel-Air: I was really hoping it wasn’t going to have to go this way Mercedes, but you really leave me with no other choice.
Banks snickers once more as she drops her belts and steps right up into Bianca’s face.

Mercedes Banks: And what exactly are you going to do about it?

Bianca Bel-Air: I’m going to teach you about respect.

Mercedes Banks: Before you do that though - as the EST of AEW. As in the Dumbest bitch around - why don’t you watch your back for once.
Bianca Bel-Air: Do you really think I am going to fall for a trick like that Mercedes? Do you think I’m stupid?

It was anything but a bluff though as Davina Rose and Deonna Purrazzo would slide into the ring and charge at Bianca smashing her in the head with tandem elbow smashes before grabbing hold of Bianca by her arm’s and restraining her in the ring, as Mercedes still holding the microphone would smile.

Mercedes Banks: Did you really this was anything more than a setup - you are about to make your final withdrawal.

Before anything else could happen though, Toni Storm and Ruby Soho would sprint from the back coming to Bianca’s aid with an all out melee breaking out in the ring between all six women, but this wouldn’t last very long before another introduction would take place.




Excalibur: It is William Regal - the newly appointed General Manager of Dynamite.

Jim Ross: And it looks like his first point of business will be dealing with these six ladies that look intent on beating the crap out of each other.

Taz: Let them fight Willy! We are in Dirty Jersey, where the cats and rats are always fighting with each other - so why not the women on this roster.

Regal looks far from pleased as he takes his position on the entrance ramp, as his music is cut as he begins to speak.

William Regal: Stop this nonsense immediately. This is not the time nor the place for unscheduled violence. So Bianca, Ruby and Toni on one side of the ring and the rest of you on the other.

All six women stop fighting and comply, as Regal looks pleased with their choice.

William Regal: Now because you went ahead and listened instead of doing something rash like ignoring me, I am going to give you what you all want - and when I say all I mean everyone in this building tonight. So let's get a referee out here and entertain the masses!

Regal nodes his head and waves at the fans.

William Regal: A pleasure as always.

+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - +

1:32-1:50

The contest was scrappy by its nature, as this was clearly fuelled by the fighting that had taken place prior to the match. However, the match official would be very strict in policing the match and making sure that only the two legal participants were ever in the ring at the same time, which eventually allowed the match to flow and come a spectacle that the fans could enjoy with all six women getting their moment under the spotlight to showcase what they were about and make it clear that any of these women could potentially be more than a challenge for Mercedes in a future title defense. The match would eventually close with Mercedes keeping Ruby on her side of the ring, as Davina and Deonna would run across the ring and knock Bianca and Toni off the ring apron long enough for Mercedes to look at Soho in the Bank Statement and force her to tap out.

After the contest, Mercedes would pose in the middle of the ring with the Women’s Championship held aloft above her head for all to see.

Winner: Mercedes Banks

+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - +

01:52-01:53

We return from another commercial break with the camera focused solely on Taz who is put on an orange FTW baseball hat and looks in a fine mood as he addresses the camera.

Taz: We might not have had an appearance tonight of any of my guys - but I want to make it clear to everyone that Team Taz has not got lazy and we always mean business especially when it comes to All Elite Wrestling. Ricky Starks? Do you want Ricky Starks? Hobbs? Do you want Hobbs. Well do you know what? Do you know what? Next week in Raleigh, North Carolina do you know what I am doing? You better believe I am doing it. I am sending HOOK!

+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - +

1:55-2:10

The manner in which Garcia and Jericho approached the match, it quickly became clear that this wasn’t about whether or not the Jericho Appreciation Society were going to win, but rather when the two men were going to stop playing with their food with Jericho almost showing his Garcia how brutal he could be, and then demanding that Daniel push the ticket even further. To the point that the two men weren’t even attempting pin-falls or submissions and were just putting on a clinic of who could hurt their opponents more. It got to the point that Simon Gotch wasn’t even able to tag his partner in, as Rehwoldt was holding his leg in pain at ringside and being attended to by the doctor. With Gotch looking desperate, Jericho would clearly be heard shouting ‘finish him’ before Garcia would lock Gotch in the Sharpshooter and have him tapping out instantaneously.

Winners: Jericho Appreciation Society

+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - +

2:12-2:16
Following the win, Jericho would stand in the middle of the ring with Garcia standing directly behind him by a few paces on his right shoulder.

Chris Jericho: Daniel Garcia - he is a good kid, and like any good kid in this business he appreciates me like everyone else in this arena should. Because there is no AEW, without Chris Jericho. There are no big name signings without Chris Jericho and there is no big time media interest without Chris Jericho. And very soon just like you should all thank me for my service, in the same way you would thank anyone serving in the military. You will start to appreciate the men and women that keep my company in the ring. Men like Daniel Garcia - ‘Red Death’ who from my perspective is a man who, if William Regal has any brains in that beaten up limey head of his, will walk out from the back tonight and present Garcia with the vacant TNT Championship and tell him that he deserves it. And I know what you are thinking - you are thinking, Jericho said men and women surrounding him and yet I currently only have one man standing in the ring with me. Well it's simple isn’t it I am on a recruiting drive.

Daniel Garcia says something to Jericho, with Chris nodding his head and smiling.

Chris Jericho: Now young Daniel, he doesn’t think that any of you even deserve to be part of this next moment. But in truth, this has nothing to do with any of you. I don’t need a single one of you to even be in attendance to know I am single handley the greatest wrestler of all time. Shawn Michaels? Fuck Shawn Michales, Ric Flair and all those other bastards - the only person you should truly love is me - Le Champion, Chris Jericho. But just removing the spotlight off me for a moment - I am pleased to welcome the newest member of my society and by default the newest memes of AEW - Shayna Baszler!

Shayna emerges from the crowd, rather than from the back and violently pushes various fans out of the way as she makes her way to the ring looking like a woman on the war path as Garcia and Jericho applaud her as she enters the ring.

Chris Jericho: Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the true embodiment of Sports Entertainment!

+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - +

2:18-2:21
We cut backstage, where Excalibur is standing standing with Jeff Hardy.

Excalibur: Jeff - it has become official in recent days that it is official and you have put pen to paper and signed with All Elite Wrestling, but you have decided to join us alone instead of joining up with your brother Matt. I have to ask, what is on the horizon for you?

Before Jeff can answer though, Ace Austin enters the shot and rips the microphone out of Excalibur’s hand incredibly rudely.

Ace Austin: Rather than asking stupid generic question like that Ex, why don’t you just clear on back to the commentary table and let the men that aren’t actually scared to compete talk to each other.

Austin pushes Excalibur out of the way, only for Jeff to step forward and intervene as he pulls the microphone out of Austin’s hand.

Jeff Hardy: If it is a match down the road you are looking for, then that is exactly what you are going to get. So why don’t you go ahead and run along now, before I decide to delete you - permanently.

Austin just smiles to himself, almost as if he got the exact reaction he was looking for as he walks off with Jeff Hardy patting Excalibur and checking if he was alright.

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2:24-2:28
Shota Umino is looking directly at the camera in the medical area backstage, with Moxley being attended to by one of the doctors, as Umino in broken English is the first to speak.

Shota Umino: Soon. Me and Jon will team up. Tag team - very strong. T-Breeze and Dynamite you run away afraid. Next time we meet, no running, only fighting.

Moxley grunts as he gestures to Umino who passes him the microphone.

Jon Moxley: This kid has got spunk and no fear in his heart - so I sure as shit can’t work out why New Japan would let him go so easily, not with the heart of an absolute lion coming out from the back to back to my aid. But I was left asking, where were all my other friends? Not that, that matters. Because Johnny and Tyler - you made a big mistake pulling that shit with me. Because now I know your scent and like any bloodhound, I am not going to stop chasing you until I catch you in my jaws and rip you limb from limb. And it looks like I’m not the only person here tonight - that has something they want to get their chest.

In the same shot, Toni Storm is also in the medical room and is holding an ice pack to her head and looks like she has black eye starting to form underneath her right eye.

Toni Storm: Davina Rose. Davina Rose. Siding with Mercedes Bank like some sort of worthless whore, is just damn right pathetic. You think for one second, she is going to reward your loyalty with a shot at her belt. All she is going to do is use you to do her bidding, and when she is finished with you she is going to screw you up and toss you in the garbage. But - not if I do that first. You see when you ran across the ring earlier - illegally may I add. And knocked me off the ring apron, my face struck against the security barrier and you’ve given me quite the shiner. I believe the expression in the holy texts is an eye for an eye - so next week on Dynamite - Toni Storm vs. Davina Rose - No Disqualification? I know you are going to accept, because if you don’t that makes you even more of a Simp than I thought you were.

+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - +

2:30-2:32
After the break, William Regal is standing in the middle of the ring with a podium erected next to him holding the current vacant TNT Championship.

William Regal: I won’t waste too much of your time, because I would much rather our final half hour on the air be filled with actually wrestling rather than me standing on the parapet and preaching a sermon.

Regal chants spread around the arena, and William allows it for a few seconds before continuing.

William Regal: Over the next few weeks we will be having four qualifying matches. So simple matches eight men, competing in four matches. Now for all our winners, they will be placed into a four way ladder match - with the winner of said match becoming the new TNT Champion. And because I like to give the fans what they want - we will have our first qualifier as tonight’s main-event. In a match between debuting Alexander Hammerstone and Matt Cardona!

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2:35-2:55

The match would prove to be an interesting affair, although in terms of quality the match between Moxley and Johnny Dynamite was without a doubt the best of the evening. Nonetheless both men would put on a great contest, with Hammer showing just exactly why he was seen as such a diamond in the indies and would flex his absolutely power in the ring, whilst the fans would be treated to HEEL Cardona in all his glory, with the self proclaimed ‘Death Match King’ bending the rules at every opportunity to get an advantage of his opponent. With one of these clear rules breaking, taking place when Cardona would take a kendo stick from underneath the ring - only for the referee to rip it away from Cardona. With the ref distracting, Cardona would drop to his knees and punch Hammerstone in his crown jewels before springing off the ropes and connecting with the Radio Silence and taking the victory.

Winner: Matt Cardona

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2:55-3:00
Cardona would celebrate the win and having earned entry into the future TNT Championship match and be joined by his long-term friend Brian Myers with both men very much acting as if Cardona has won a world title match against a real toughest opponent, rather than having blatantly cheated to get a victory.




The party would soon come to an end, as out from the back would emerge none other than Bron Rochsteiner who would just walk halfway down the ramp, and just stare straight into Cardona’s soul as the show would come to an end.
​

 

[CakeWalker]

Impact #909

- Impact would begin some clear changes to its setup, with the fans being welcomed on commentary by the pairing of Mike Teney and Don West which was quite the throwback to a previous era. What also made the event even more exciting, was that it was a live broadcast rather than taped - with the fans in Sam’s Town Hotel & Gambling Hall in Las Vegas even more pumped for the occasion. And like the expression goes, everything comes in three - with the third change arguably being the most exciting as it would see the return of the six-sided ring. Total Nonstop Action Wrestling was back once again - and everyone in attendance was happy to be here with Tenay and West clearly thrilled to be working together once more at ringside.

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- Once everyone was settled, Rockstar Spud who had taken over from Scott D’Amore (now with ROH) as the new General Manager of Impact. Spud would make it clear that he was incredibly pleased to be back working for TNA and thought that return to the old branding and the six-sided ring would be two of many reasons why TNA was going to reclaim its spot as the number one promotion only to the WWE. Spud would then laugh, and make a joke about having been fired - only to have a dig at the McMahon family and their clear lack of respect for professional wrestling that had led to the financial collapse of the federation.

- Spud would announce that in three Saturday’s time at Destination-X - as was tradition there would be an Ultimate-X match, which would be a classic because it would be contested how it was intended within a six sided ring. Spud would announce that three matches would take place on tonight’s card, which would act as qualifiers for Ultimate-X - with matchups of Chris Bey vs. Amazing Red, KENTA vs. Matt Riddle and Sheamus vs. Lance Archer. Spud would once again thank everyone in the crowd and everyone at home for tuning in and made it clear that he hoped they enjoyed the show.

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Finish: Both men would complete in a high octane match, with both men using the extra dimension of the six-sided ring to put on a match that was befitting of the X-Division. Amazing Red would show his seniority and his experience though, and bring an end to the contest by nailing Bey with the spectacular Infrared (540° corkscrew senton bomb) to end the contest.

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- Smart Mark Sterling would be speaking backstage to interview Renee Paquette. Mark would make it clear that as a highly skilled agent and manager, he had numerous wrestlers on his books that had expressed an interest in working for this new emerging version of TNA - but that he had one particular female talent on his books that was particularly interested in one day becoming the TNA Knockout’s Champion. The interview would be interrupted by Kamille who would make it clear cut, that whichever bitch that Sterling was representing was going to have to get in line like everyone else - because if this mysterious client thought she was then she was going to have to first deal with the Brickhouse. Kamille would be sporting NWA World Women’s Championship and would feign to go at Sterling, which would cause Smart Mark to bolt out of the shot.

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Finish: The match would be the first time that SCU (under this amalgamation) would feature on TNA, with it being Scorpio first match not hidden underneath a mask. Frankie however, in SCU’s earliest form of Bad Influence was no stranger to TNA nor were their opponent’s Beer Money Inc. with the fans having been treated to a tag team epic between two accomplished teams. It looked as if Roode was going to launch himself off the turnbuckle to take out Kazrian with an aerial move, only for Frankie to spring up to his feet with a burst of adrenaline and wipe Roode with the Flux Capacitor to win a truly stellar tag team contest.

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- Becky Lynch would address the Impact fans and make it clear that it didn’t matter what anyone had to say whether it was in Japan, New Jersey, Philadelphia or Mexico City because she was the Impact Knockout’s Champion and that made her the most dangerous champion in professional wrestler. She was so important that the National Wrestling Alliance’s own champion was part of the TNA roster, and wasn’t even worthy of standing in the same ring as her. Becky would run through names including Charlotte Flair, Kay Lee Ray and Ronda Rousey just an example of women who weren’t worthy of standing in the ring with. When she mentioned Thunder Rosa’s name though, the music belonging to Rosa would blast out and the Mexican-American would emerge from the back and square up to Becky in the ring.

- Thunder Rosa would make it clear that unlike the previous names mentioned she wasn’t going to allow Becky to even mention her name when the two of them had never even stepped in the same ring again, and that she would have no problem giving Lynch a reality check and showing her what it meant to actually wrestle a real wrestler. Becky, though, would make it clear that Thunder Rosa's whole look was just embarrassing and that if she could only afford to pay for half her face to be painted - then perhaps she simply wasn’t working hard enough. Lynch would make it clear that if Rosa wanted to face her for her Knockout’s Championship - then she was actually going to prove herself worthy.

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Finish: Riddle and KENTA would put an entertaining show, although it was the Japanese star that would show exactly why he had been signed by TNA not to long ago from NJPW - as he would end the match via stoppage by wiping out Riddle with the Go 2 Sleep in such a brutal fashion that the referee had judged that Riddle had actually be knocked out cold.

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- Eddie Kingston would walk into the one of many locker-rooms backstage and end up interrupting a conversation between Matt Sydal, Shelton Benjamin and Christian Cage. Kingston would come as very agitated and keep repeating that he was looking for the wolf in sheep’s clothing and that he needed to find him before a massacre took place. Sydal, Benjamin and Cage would be left confused as Kingston would exit the room, leaving the cameras trained on the three men. The three men would then carry on their conversation, which we would discover was actually about whether or not Tom Brady was going to change his mind and unretire himself.

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Finish: The two teams had two very different audiences, with the MCMGs clearly more popular with an old demographic of fans - whilst Jurassic Express clearly had a lot of the female fans in attendance swooning over Jungle Boy. The match would be a high-speed affair, although it was clear that Shelley and Sabin were much more comfortable battling within a six-sided ring and they would pick up the win the win by nailing Luchasaurus with Made in Detroit (Sitout powerbomb (Sabin) / Sliced Bread #2 (Shelley) combination) to bring an end to the contest.

- Whilst celebrating the ring Zack Sabre, Jr. and Minoru Suzuki would be spotted standing at the top of the ramp giving the Guns a slow clap almost as if the two members of Suzuki-gun were far than impressed with the action they had just witnessed.


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- Roman Reigns would feature in a short pre-taped segment, in which he would make it clear that following the financial collapse of WWE he had almost considered hanging up his boots and retiring rather than having to restart again and cement a new legacy somewhere else. Roman would make it clear that he had signed a multi-year contract with TNA and intended on bringing a reign of terror to Impact in the very near future.

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Finish: The final match of the night, would also prove to be the most challenging contest for both men involved with it clear that neither man was putting less than a 100% into the contest. Sheamus could have come close to connecting with Brogue Kick on a number of occasions, but Archer would forecast the kicks and eventually end the contest himself by wiping Sheamus out with the Blackout!

- | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | -

- Moose would close the show with the TNA World Heavyweight Championship in his hands and be sure to remind the fans in attendance that even if he was their world champion, he was no longer a member of TNA because Total Nonstop Action Wrestling was a worthless brand and that the return of the six-sided ring was a stupid gimmick and he had no doubt that the company would be forced to revert to a standard in the ring future to avoid total failure. Moose would then proceed to boast that he had chosen to defend his belt on Ring of Honor just two days ago, but that fans in attendance tonight in Las Vegas were not worthy of that honor. Moose would make it clear that because he was still the champion, his contract meant that TNA was still obligated to pay him appearance fees as their champion - and that he intended to keep showing up each and every week to cash in his paychecks.

- Moose would find himself being interrupted by PAC, with the British wrestler the current X-Division champion walking out from the back (with the Brit having been the X-Division for nearly half a year now, having won the belt not long after departing AEW in the summer). PAC would make it clear that he had recently been informed of Option-C and that therefore as the current X-Division champion he intended to cash in his X-Division Championship at Destination-X with the intent of challenging Moose for the World Title at the PPV.

- Moose would make it clear that PAC would actually have to still be the champion at Destination-X to be afforded that right and would comment that he felt that PAC had been foolish for playing his hands with still three weeks to go and that it would be unfortunate if someone was able to take the X-Division Championship in the next fortnight. Moose though would make the point that it was irrelevant either way, because there was no way that a worm like PAC would be able to get the up on him at Destination-X.

- Before Moose could say another word though, ‘Walking Weapon’ would start to play throughout the arena as out from the back dressed in a very fashionable suit would appear Josh Alexander. Alexander would remind Moose, that a week prior to Destination-X they would be facing each other for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship at Honor Reigns Supreme and that Moose was foolish to be looking past him - when there was a very good chance it would he who would be the champion going into Destination-X.

- Moose looked annoyed by this interruption as he would turn to face Alexander and make it clear that he had no right being on his show and that TNA was his domain. PAC was visibly annoyed that Moose had turned his back to him and in a rage would charge forward to attack him, only for Moose to have catlike reflexes and dodge out of the way before instead turning the table on PAC and nailing him with the Hitstick (Spear) before grabbing his title and rolling out of the ring and looking very pleased with himself as the show would come to a finish.
​

 

[Marty McFourth]

About to read. I love ya, Juice.