What could possibly go wrong?
[video=youtube;tAqpmoIirBs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAqpmoIirBs[/video]
Barbara Ann by The Beach Boys begins to play.
The crowd seems pretty confused by old, obnoxious song that has started. Well mostly the kids don't get it. Some older people lose themselves in the rhythm. It's okay, they have no idea what could possibly happen next. Ask yourself what could possibly go wrong?
A little while later a man appears on the stage. He's in a mesh tank top and blue short shorts showing off his cleanly shaved legs. He struts out a bit as cocky as can be putting his hands on his hips, surveying the crowd. He smiles widely showing off his perfect smile. He walks down the ramp as his strut gets more powerful. He stops halfway and pulls a comb right out his shorts, pauses and then goes on to continue his hair for the camera. He decides to continue towards the ring and walks up the steps. Starts going through the ropes, but stops halfway to come back out to stare at some random girl in the front row that caught his eye. Now he gets into the ring and stops in the middle. He drops down to one to pose for all the fans in attendance... By this point his cockiness is annoying some fans who are booing him. He shrugs it off and gets a mic from a ringside attendant who had already had a mic in hand between the bottom and middle rope. He walks back towards the center of the ring and puts the mic to his lips, a little hesitant he begins to speak.
Bobby Beach: I know, I know... You've been waiting for so long for an appearance from someone of the likes of me. You may not know me really, but I'm sure you've been in a place where someone was hogging all the staff and attention of ladies... So you know people like me. I run in a different circle than you. A higher circle. My friends wouldn't be caught in your neighborhoods. Well that also means... I'm sorry... It's just then that means I'm usually not seen in cities like this.
The crowd boos at the cheap, easy heat from the city attack.
Bobby Beach: I'm usually seen in hot, coastline cities. I just exude that kind of personality. I should be rollerblading down the California coast as I wink at unsuspecting ladies. They try to respond, but it's too late I'm eyeing another hot tamale. Then I set my eyes to the ocean, but there is a bunch of sand before me.... It's not a nude beach... Until I show up.
The fans seems really confused by why this guy is saying all of this, but it doesn't seem to matter. The guy is just so full of himself.
Bobby Beach: Then girls start throwing their tops at me and sometimes bottoms. I usually tell them to wait until the hotel room. It's just some beach babes just can't help themselves. On a normal day I'd take over lifeguard tower whether I'm not I'm working. I'd use the binoculars to spy on them babes until I found just the right one. I can't just let any lady at this, can I? C'mon....
The fans are now getting angry with this seemingly waste of time. Boos start to be heard.
Bobby Beach: Calm down, calm down... I'm getting you feel for me... A lot more than most people would get. Oh... You want me to get to a point? Do I need a point? When you see someone as good looking as me... Hold on did I say good looking... That means only one thing... Production crew play the song... I'll pander to the crowd... They'll come around...
[video=youtube;pYihf3zrcp4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYihf3zrcp4&feature=related[/video]
(go to 2:00 in the video or watch the whole thing it's rather good)
As the ridiculous song plays in the background. The guy drops the mic, jumps out of the ring and starts combing his hair infront of some pretty lady. She at first tries to ignore him, but she can't help it and ends up running her own hands through his hair. As soon as this starts the song drifts out and the man acts like she never existed. The man slides back into the ring and picks up the mic to get back where he left off.
Bobby Beach: I'm sorry... I repeat I'm sorry about that... Well not really, because it had to happen. It will also probably happen again. I can't help it. You put me on the marquee my face jumps off. Not my name, MY FACE jumps right off. Lets not even get started on my body we'll be here all night. However, I will start getting to a real point since I was only allowed so much time in the first place. My name is MR. Bobby Beach... The Beach Terror. I am rather scary to men, but I am women's true desire. It's just how it is when you look like this.
A little flexing to go along with what he is saying.
Bobby Beach: Now, I was supposed to threaten the WKF lockeroom but as you know I got caught up talking about myself. I must be full of it. Hell, I know I'm full of it. That is just the way it is. I can't be less of it. It's all me, all the time. So any WKF wrestler that wants to get into my face... well can? It's just they can't match looks. LOOK, closely!
Beach shows off his incredibly good looks just a bit more.
Bobby Beach: Now, I may sound like some beach buffoon in here, but trust me I know this ring as well as I know the reef. Everybody in the back better take notice as well as their girlfriends. I am here and surf is UP. Get your boogie boards ready. Mr. Beach has arrived. Mr. Beach is here, dammit. I just have one golden run for everyone who is listening.... Well it's not that... but I will say don't ever leave your wallet in your shoes you're not fooling anybody... No, the golden rule here for everyone is Life is a Beach... Hahahaahahahahaha... And keep your titles out of my reach.... See ya later, brah.
He goes from laughing to a rather serious look. He looks at the crowd once more and looks down the entrance ramp like it was a signal as his Barbara Ann starts to play again. The show goes to a commercial break as Beach leaves the ring...
