Not just any Mom though. Only this Mom. Likelyly.
Watch carefully as I transform a day off work into a hypothetical WWE future for the next nine months or so. I did nothing I couldn't see the WWE reasonably doing, took current injuries into account, signed nobody new and only used a few (one?) of the developmental workers. Winners are bolded. Champions have a (c) by their name. Match types are specified. No fancy coding. If you read this all then that's absolutely remarkable. Should be noted I watch WWE programming about five times a year, ppvs included.
BATTLEGROUND
1. PS: Swagger / Cesaro vs. Matadors
- A debut match to get the Matadors over. Seems like an obvious feud given the racism and such.
1. Miz vs. Big Show
- Made by HHH cause apparently he hates them both. Working towards a Miz heel turn.
2. Wyatts vs. Kofi / Usos
- The Wyatts need dominant wins, and they get one here. Kofi out till Rumble, when he will return with sexy new gimmick and actual push.
3. Ziggler vs. Sandow
- Not sure why they wanted this as a dark match. Sandow shouldn't be losing cause MITB, but Ziggler deserves better.
4. Punk vs. Ryback (w/ Heyman)
- Yep.
5. Shield vs. Rhodes – For careers
- No turns, no swerves.
6. AJ Lee (c) vs. Brie Bella – Women's
- AJ Lee is one of two positives in the WWE Women's division.
7. Del Rio (c) vs. RVD – WHC – Hardcore Match
- Why not. Its just for a little while anyway.
8. Daniel Bryan vs. Orton – WWE Title
- Probably some screwjobs here.
A Tag Team Tournament established to determine a contendor (even though Rhodes family gets booked to face Shield at HIAC), Mostly just a vehicle to introduce Barrett and McIntyre as a new tag team (3MB is dumb), and to bring back the team of Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel. Sandow and Fandango also join up. Matches are on the weekly shows and are as follows:
TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT:
R1
Swagger / Cesaro vs. Tons of Funk
Usos vs. Kidd / Gabriel
Barrett / McIntyre vs. PTP
Matadors vs. Sandow / Fandango
R2
Swagger / Cesaro vs. Kidd / Gabriel
Barrett / McIntyre vs. Sandow / Fandango
HIAC
1. PS: Swagger / Cesaro / Barrett / McIntyre vs. Matadors / PTP
For like, the bronze metal in the tag tournament.
2. Shield (c) vs. Rhodes' – Tag Titles
- Goldust gets beat up and sent home. Save the Cody / Dust feud for another day.
3. Big Show vs. Mark Henry
- HHH makes big guys fight each other cause he's mean
4. Kidd / Gabriel vs. Sandow / Fandango – Tournament Finale
- In this overbooked abomination, Kidd gets pinned. Gabriel had previously been offered a spot on Sandow's new team of extraordinary gentlemen but declined, but seeing that apparently Kidd sucks, joins up to beat down his old partner n the post match. A returning Christian makes the save when they try it again on Raw the next night. Nothing else really comes from the Tournament (cause heel team vs. The Shield as champs just wouldn't work).
5. Ambrose (c) vs. Dusty Rhodes – US Title
- Ambrose requets this from HHH after Rhodes beats him up on Raw or something. Part of the Shield / Rhodes family feud. Anyway, Dusty is all about reppin' the US Title the true American way. Like a true douche, Ambrose pretty much just beats him up. Mega heat.
6. Kane vs. Bray Wyatt - HIAC
- Kane return match. Go watch his new movie.
7. Punk / Dreamer vs. Axel / Ryback (w/ Heyman) - HIAC
- Punk gets ex-Heyman guys Dreamer to help him out here. It doesn't work. Hardcore.
8. RVD (c) vs. Del Rio vs. Miz vs. Ziggler – WHC – HIAC
- A Four way to get some fresh blood in the WHC scene. RVD retains. I love WHC four-ways. Remember when Batista went bad and killed Rey? Loved it.
9. Orton (c) vs. Bryan – WWE – HIAC
- Stupid Orton holding the man down!
SURVIVOR SERIES
1. Sandow / Fandango / Gabriel / Matadors vs. Kidd / Christian / Bourne / Usos
- Evan Bourne finally returns. Good guy cruiserweight types vs. The League of Extraordinary GEntrlemen plus Colons. Who cares?
2. Ziggler vs. Del Rio
- Neither of them won last show's WHC title match. They also hate each other. Let's get that Ziggler push going!
3. Wyatts / Swagger / Cesaro vs. Kane / Barrett / McIntyre / PTP
- Team crazy redneck Americans vs. Everyone else. What you'd expect.
4. Ryback vs. Mysterio
- Ryback kinda stops hanging with Paul when the returning Mysterio calls this bully out. Now that I think about it, maybe he should have had Dreamer's spot at HIAC. Oh well. Short and sweet. Let's keep Rey healthy.
5. WOMEN
- Whatever.
6. RVD (c) vs. Miz - WHC
- Now fully heel, the Miz regains some of his long lost glory. Alex Riley is nowhere to be found.
7. Bryan / Rhodes / Henry / Show / Punk vs. Orton / Shield / Axel
- If Bryan's team wins, he gets one last shot at WWE title, Big Show gets shot at HHH, Rhodes gets US Title shot, Henry gets IC Title shot. How's that for booking?
- Punk and Bryan the only two survivors on their team, so Punk gets as hot too cause fair is fair. Tweener Punk~!
TLC
1. PS: Sandow / Fandango / Gabriel vs. Kidd / Bourne / Zayn
- Sami Zayn debuts and joins team Cruiserweight. I imagine they get lots of match time on Smackdown to compensate for ppv losses. Gotta protect Sandow. Gotta protect that briefcase.
2. Shield (c) vs. Swagger / Cesaro vs. Barrett / McIntyre vs. Usos vs. Matadors – Tag Titles – Ladder Match
- Multi-team matches are my week spot. Spot-fest ahoy!
3. Axel (c) vs. Henry – IC Title
- Curtis Axel finally defends his title. Now that Punk storyline is done with him, major focus on this guy as Heyman's new solo star. I don't see much special in him, but I'm runnning with it anyway.
4. Ziggler vs. Mysterio - #1 Contendor for WHC
- Sorry Ziggler, you're going to have to wait for your shot.
5. Ambrose (c) vs. Rhodes – US Title
- Rhodes finally gets his! Dad is proud.
6. Miz (c) vs. RVD – WHC – Tables Match
- Miz' reign is strong.
7. WOMENS
- Puke in my mouth and swallow it
8. HHH vs. Big Show – Chairs Match
- The pay-off. By now this feud lacks all heat.
9. Orton (c) vs. Bryan vs. Punk – WWE Title – TLC
- Bryan is not the one to finally beat Orton, his “friend” Punk is. Well... well... fine. Whaterver man. I'm “happy” for you.
ROYAL RUMBLE
1. Zayn vs. Sandow
- Sami f'n Zayn kicking things off! Fans everywhere love this guy!
2. Rhodes (c) vs. Ambrose – US Title – No Holds Barred
- Obligatory rematch
3. Shield (c) vs. Christian / RVD – Tag Titles
- Old dudes team up cause they need to place ago, remarkably are the ones to end the reign #shockvalue.
4. Miz (c) vs. Mysterio – WHC
- You had your chance Rey.
5. WOMENS
- Women's match between major title fights? Yep.
6. Punk (c) vs. Orton – WWE Title
- Orton is grumpy about this. Totally gets destroyed too.
7. RUMBLE - Bryan
- Sheamus returns, same old. Kofi returns with a gimmick where he pretends to be Kobe Bryant or some famous athelete. More serious. Less smiles. Athlete cred. Main event push in 2014. Lesnar in the rumble too, very much dominates. Big buys,
- Bryan last eliminates Lesnar or Ziggler to win. Maybe both. Obviously calls out Punk on Raw.
ELIMINATION CHAMBER (EC)
1. Christian / RVD (c) vs. Shield vs. Show / Kane vs. Zayn / Bourne – Tag Titles – EC
- Two teams start in the ring, two pods released at five minutes brining in one more team, two other pods released at ten minutes bringing in the other team. You'll notice Big Show and Kane have teamed up again.
2. Kidd vs. Ambrose
- Kidd push. Don't worry about Ambrose losing three in a row. He's actually my favourite.
3. Bray Wyatt vs. Kofi
- Athelete Kofi remembers when Bray Wyatt took him out at Battleground. Redemption and Gatorade sponsorships and such.
4. Axel (c) vs. Barrett – IC Title
- Cause face Barrett hasn't done anything in forever and Axel is a machine!
5. Bryan vs. Sandow
- Royal Rumble winner vs. MITB. Lovin' the concept.
- Probably at this point in the show that Orton comes out to whine about things with HHH, Cena returns and challenges the “old Orton” to a Mania match. What better place to relive the “best” feud of the last decade than Mania 30? HHH shoots it down. Cena challenges the both of them maybe idk? Some contrivedness here leads to Cena needing a tag partner and bringing back BATISTA FOR WRESTLEMANIA 30 – a tag match is booked. Batista has reason to hate them all, but did once hold the tag titles with Cena #whatwillhappen #evolution #themfnanimal
6. Miz (c) vs. Mysterio – WHC – 2/3 Falls
- Seriously Rey, you had your shot.
7. Punk (c) vs. Jericho – WWE Title
- Jericho returns after Rumble, calls out Punk, who foolishly accepts. This match will always be good. What the what? Heel Jericho wins.
8. Ziggler vs. Del Rio vs. Henry vs. Sheamus vs. Ryback vs. Rhodes – WHC shot at WM – EC
- Ziggler will go to Mania folks!
WRESTLEMANIA 30
PRESHOW:
1. Zayn / Bourne vs. PTP vs. Barrett / McIntyre vs. Funk – Winners get in Tag Title match
- Actually dislike Tonnes of Funk a lot.
2. NXT
- Bo Dallas? Sami Callahan?
3. Wyatts vs. Kofi / Usos
- Kofi payin' dues. Usos just happy to be there. Sorry fellas, fifteen years too late. Love the idea of the Wyatts, not sure how to use them obviously.
----
1. Christian / RVD (c) vs. Shield vs. Kane / Show vs. Swagger / Cesaro vs. Fandango / Gabriel va. Zayn / Bourne – Tag Titles – TLC
- Probably these guys, depending how crowd likes them. Or back on the Shield. Whatever.
2. Del Rio vs. Henry
- They don't like each other cause of the EC match. Henry deserves a match on Mania card. Probably one of his last. Retired.
3. Sheamus vs. Ryback – Lumberjack Match
- Sheamus gonna beat him some bully. Diggin' Sheamus with an “arse kicker” gimmick.
4. Axel (IC) vs. Rhodes (US) – Both Titles on the line
- Rhodes takes it all
5. Foley vs. Ambrose – Hardcore Match
- Finally get to see this one. Pure gold.
6. Kidd vs. Mysterio
- Mysterio passes his cruiserweight torch to the Canadian young buck,
7. Miz (c) vs. Ziggler – WHC
- Ziggler wins himself a world title again!
8. Ziggler (c) vs. Sandow (MITB) – WHC
- Sandow previously announced he would cash in right after. Douche. But what's this? He loses? Ziggler is the best ever.
9. Cena / Batista vs. Orton / HHH
- If you don't love this match then go eat nails. Maybe Ric Flair even guest refs.
10. WOMENS
- Chicks are gay.
11. Taker vs. Lesnar
- It had to happen.
12. Jericho (c) vs. Bryan vs. Punk – WWE
- Punk gets his rematch, Bryan gets his shot. Triple threat for Wrestlemania XXX. Get it? Only way to make it feel different and special compared to Taker vs. Lesnar and the evolution tag match. Also, Wrestlemania XX had a triple threat, and that was sweet. Bryan finally gets his reign.
ITS AT THIS POINT WE LIMP UNREASONABLY FAR INTO THE FUTURE
BACKLASH
- Cause Backlash is a cool ppv name. “At Backlash...”
1. Sheamus vs. Ryback – Cage Match
- Mania Rematch
2. All the Shield vs. Kofi / Usos
- Usos benefit from Kofi push #affirmativeaction.
- Afterwards and unrelatedly, Kidd attacks Del Rio during interview.
3. Rhodes (c) vs. Axel – IC / US Titles – No Holds Barred
- Not a one of the holds are barred.
4. Zayn / Bourne (c) vs. Christian / RVD – Tag Titles
- Nobody pinned the champs but they lost the belts. A case for the face vs. face rematch has been made!
5. Cena vs. Orton
- Serious business.
6. WOMENS
- Or maybe somebody wrestles a bear.
7. Ziggler (c) vs. Miz vs. Sandow – WHC
- Ziggler is World Heavyweight Champion of the World.
8. Bryan (c) vs. Punk – WWE Title
- Great match. Do another one like it on Raw but let it last an hour. Also Jericho left again.
KOTR
- We're bringing it back! Tournament on tv, finals on ppv!
1. PS: Battle Royal: Sheamus – For title shot at MITB
- Give the man a chance.
2. Zayn / Bourne (c) vs. Usos – Tag Titles
- Don't even remember making this. Good to pass them around though. Maybe the Shield is in this match too.
3. Kidd vs. Del Rio
- Lovin' the Kidd push. Great use for Del Rio.
4. Orton vs. Show
- Cause why not?
5. Rhodes (c) vs. Swagger vs. Cesaro – IC / US Title
- A Trtiple threat for the soul of the League of Nations.
6. Ziggler (c) vs. Sandow / Miz - WHC
- Whoever gets the pin wins the title in this TNA goofball of a match.
7. WOMENS
- Getting lazier.
8. Bryan (c) vs. Punk – WWE Title – Last Man Standing
- This match should happen as often as possible. Punk totally heel now? Somebody hire Samoa Joe.
9. Kofi vs. Cena – KOTR FINAL
- And now his main event status is complete (in a Darth Vader voice)
MITB
1. Ambrose vs. Ryback vs. Sandow vs. Miz vs. Del Rio vs. Christian vs. RVD vs. Barrett – WHC MITB
- I told you I would hook a brother up
2. Zayn / Bourne vs. Wyatts
- Wyatts returned after KOTR, feud with Zayn / Bourne / Kidd. Or something.
3. Rhodes (c) vs. Cesaro – IC Title
- Cesaro wins one.
4. Rhodes (c) vs. Swagger – US Title
- Swagger wins the other. The nations weep at the second annual screwing of the Rhodes.
5. Usos (c) vs. Shield – Tag Titles
- Like last year but the other way around. Same same, but different.
6. Ziggler (c) vs. Orton – WHC
- Ziggler is a STAR~!
7. WOMENS
- adkfjsakguhowrjmvsg ogsi mpifga
8. Bryan (c) vs. Sheamus – WWE Title
- Wrestlemania 28 rematch. Seven summers ago The Great Khali won a world title.
9. Kofi vs. Punk vs. Cena vs. Axel vs. Ryback vs. Kane vs. Show vs. Bray – WWE Title MITB
- The future is dark. Dark as black.
That's all folks.
Watch carefully as I transform a day off work into a hypothetical WWE future for the next nine months or so. I did nothing I couldn't see the WWE reasonably doing, took current injuries into account, signed nobody new and only used a few (one?) of the developmental workers. Winners are bolded. Champions have a (c) by their name. Match types are specified. No fancy coding. If you read this all then that's absolutely remarkable. Should be noted I watch WWE programming about five times a year, ppvs included.
BATTLEGROUND
1. PS: Swagger / Cesaro vs. Matadors
- A debut match to get the Matadors over. Seems like an obvious feud given the racism and such.
1. Miz vs. Big Show
- Made by HHH cause apparently he hates them both. Working towards a Miz heel turn.
2. Wyatts vs. Kofi / Usos
- The Wyatts need dominant wins, and they get one here. Kofi out till Rumble, when he will return with sexy new gimmick and actual push.
3. Ziggler vs. Sandow
- Not sure why they wanted this as a dark match. Sandow shouldn't be losing cause MITB, but Ziggler deserves better.
4. Punk vs. Ryback (w/ Heyman)
- Yep.
5. Shield vs. Rhodes – For careers
- No turns, no swerves.
6. AJ Lee (c) vs. Brie Bella – Women's
- AJ Lee is one of two positives in the WWE Women's division.
7. Del Rio (c) vs. RVD – WHC – Hardcore Match
- Why not. Its just for a little while anyway.
8. Daniel Bryan vs. Orton – WWE Title
- Probably some screwjobs here.
A Tag Team Tournament established to determine a contendor (even though Rhodes family gets booked to face Shield at HIAC), Mostly just a vehicle to introduce Barrett and McIntyre as a new tag team (3MB is dumb), and to bring back the team of Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel. Sandow and Fandango also join up. Matches are on the weekly shows and are as follows:
TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT:
R1
Swagger / Cesaro vs. Tons of Funk
Usos vs. Kidd / Gabriel
Barrett / McIntyre vs. PTP
Matadors vs. Sandow / Fandango
R2
Swagger / Cesaro vs. Kidd / Gabriel
Barrett / McIntyre vs. Sandow / Fandango
HIAC
1. PS: Swagger / Cesaro / Barrett / McIntyre vs. Matadors / PTP
For like, the bronze metal in the tag tournament.
2. Shield (c) vs. Rhodes' – Tag Titles
- Goldust gets beat up and sent home. Save the Cody / Dust feud for another day.
3. Big Show vs. Mark Henry
- HHH makes big guys fight each other cause he's mean
4. Kidd / Gabriel vs. Sandow / Fandango – Tournament Finale
- In this overbooked abomination, Kidd gets pinned. Gabriel had previously been offered a spot on Sandow's new team of extraordinary gentlemen but declined, but seeing that apparently Kidd sucks, joins up to beat down his old partner n the post match. A returning Christian makes the save when they try it again on Raw the next night. Nothing else really comes from the Tournament (cause heel team vs. The Shield as champs just wouldn't work).
5. Ambrose (c) vs. Dusty Rhodes – US Title
- Ambrose requets this from HHH after Rhodes beats him up on Raw or something. Part of the Shield / Rhodes family feud. Anyway, Dusty is all about reppin' the US Title the true American way. Like a true douche, Ambrose pretty much just beats him up. Mega heat.
6. Kane vs. Bray Wyatt - HIAC
- Kane return match. Go watch his new movie.
7. Punk / Dreamer vs. Axel / Ryback (w/ Heyman) - HIAC
- Punk gets ex-Heyman guys Dreamer to help him out here. It doesn't work. Hardcore.
8. RVD (c) vs. Del Rio vs. Miz vs. Ziggler – WHC – HIAC
- A Four way to get some fresh blood in the WHC scene. RVD retains. I love WHC four-ways. Remember when Batista went bad and killed Rey? Loved it.
9. Orton (c) vs. Bryan – WWE – HIAC
- Stupid Orton holding the man down!
SURVIVOR SERIES
1. Sandow / Fandango / Gabriel / Matadors vs. Kidd / Christian / Bourne / Usos
- Evan Bourne finally returns. Good guy cruiserweight types vs. The League of Extraordinary GEntrlemen plus Colons. Who cares?
2. Ziggler vs. Del Rio
- Neither of them won last show's WHC title match. They also hate each other. Let's get that Ziggler push going!
3. Wyatts / Swagger / Cesaro vs. Kane / Barrett / McIntyre / PTP
- Team crazy redneck Americans vs. Everyone else. What you'd expect.
4. Ryback vs. Mysterio
- Ryback kinda stops hanging with Paul when the returning Mysterio calls this bully out. Now that I think about it, maybe he should have had Dreamer's spot at HIAC. Oh well. Short and sweet. Let's keep Rey healthy.
5. WOMEN
- Whatever.
6. RVD (c) vs. Miz - WHC
- Now fully heel, the Miz regains some of his long lost glory. Alex Riley is nowhere to be found.
7. Bryan / Rhodes / Henry / Show / Punk vs. Orton / Shield / Axel
- If Bryan's team wins, he gets one last shot at WWE title, Big Show gets shot at HHH, Rhodes gets US Title shot, Henry gets IC Title shot. How's that for booking?
- Punk and Bryan the only two survivors on their team, so Punk gets as hot too cause fair is fair. Tweener Punk~!
TLC
1. PS: Sandow / Fandango / Gabriel vs. Kidd / Bourne / Zayn
- Sami Zayn debuts and joins team Cruiserweight. I imagine they get lots of match time on Smackdown to compensate for ppv losses. Gotta protect Sandow. Gotta protect that briefcase.
2. Shield (c) vs. Swagger / Cesaro vs. Barrett / McIntyre vs. Usos vs. Matadors – Tag Titles – Ladder Match
- Multi-team matches are my week spot. Spot-fest ahoy!
3. Axel (c) vs. Henry – IC Title
- Curtis Axel finally defends his title. Now that Punk storyline is done with him, major focus on this guy as Heyman's new solo star. I don't see much special in him, but I'm runnning with it anyway.
4. Ziggler vs. Mysterio - #1 Contendor for WHC
- Sorry Ziggler, you're going to have to wait for your shot.
5. Ambrose (c) vs. Rhodes – US Title
- Rhodes finally gets his! Dad is proud.
6. Miz (c) vs. RVD – WHC – Tables Match
- Miz' reign is strong.
7. WOMENS
- Puke in my mouth and swallow it
8. HHH vs. Big Show – Chairs Match
- The pay-off. By now this feud lacks all heat.
9. Orton (c) vs. Bryan vs. Punk – WWE Title – TLC
- Bryan is not the one to finally beat Orton, his “friend” Punk is. Well... well... fine. Whaterver man. I'm “happy” for you.
ROYAL RUMBLE
1. Zayn vs. Sandow
- Sami f'n Zayn kicking things off! Fans everywhere love this guy!
2. Rhodes (c) vs. Ambrose – US Title – No Holds Barred
- Obligatory rematch
3. Shield (c) vs. Christian / RVD – Tag Titles
- Old dudes team up cause they need to place ago, remarkably are the ones to end the reign #shockvalue.
4. Miz (c) vs. Mysterio – WHC
- You had your chance Rey.
5. WOMENS
- Women's match between major title fights? Yep.
6. Punk (c) vs. Orton – WWE Title
- Orton is grumpy about this. Totally gets destroyed too.
7. RUMBLE - Bryan
- Sheamus returns, same old. Kofi returns with a gimmick where he pretends to be Kobe Bryant or some famous athelete. More serious. Less smiles. Athlete cred. Main event push in 2014. Lesnar in the rumble too, very much dominates. Big buys,
- Bryan last eliminates Lesnar or Ziggler to win. Maybe both. Obviously calls out Punk on Raw.
ELIMINATION CHAMBER (EC)
1. Christian / RVD (c) vs. Shield vs. Show / Kane vs. Zayn / Bourne – Tag Titles – EC
- Two teams start in the ring, two pods released at five minutes brining in one more team, two other pods released at ten minutes bringing in the other team. You'll notice Big Show and Kane have teamed up again.
2. Kidd vs. Ambrose
- Kidd push. Don't worry about Ambrose losing three in a row. He's actually my favourite.
3. Bray Wyatt vs. Kofi
- Athelete Kofi remembers when Bray Wyatt took him out at Battleground. Redemption and Gatorade sponsorships and such.
4. Axel (c) vs. Barrett – IC Title
- Cause face Barrett hasn't done anything in forever and Axel is a machine!
5. Bryan vs. Sandow
- Royal Rumble winner vs. MITB. Lovin' the concept.
- Probably at this point in the show that Orton comes out to whine about things with HHH, Cena returns and challenges the “old Orton” to a Mania match. What better place to relive the “best” feud of the last decade than Mania 30? HHH shoots it down. Cena challenges the both of them maybe idk? Some contrivedness here leads to Cena needing a tag partner and bringing back BATISTA FOR WRESTLEMANIA 30 – a tag match is booked. Batista has reason to hate them all, but did once hold the tag titles with Cena #whatwillhappen #evolution #themfnanimal
6. Miz (c) vs. Mysterio – WHC – 2/3 Falls
- Seriously Rey, you had your shot.
7. Punk (c) vs. Jericho – WWE Title
- Jericho returns after Rumble, calls out Punk, who foolishly accepts. This match will always be good. What the what? Heel Jericho wins.
8. Ziggler vs. Del Rio vs. Henry vs. Sheamus vs. Ryback vs. Rhodes – WHC shot at WM – EC
- Ziggler will go to Mania folks!
WRESTLEMANIA 30
PRESHOW:
1. Zayn / Bourne vs. PTP vs. Barrett / McIntyre vs. Funk – Winners get in Tag Title match
- Actually dislike Tonnes of Funk a lot.
2. NXT
- Bo Dallas? Sami Callahan?
3. Wyatts vs. Kofi / Usos
- Kofi payin' dues. Usos just happy to be there. Sorry fellas, fifteen years too late. Love the idea of the Wyatts, not sure how to use them obviously.
----
1. Christian / RVD (c) vs. Shield vs. Kane / Show vs. Swagger / Cesaro vs. Fandango / Gabriel va. Zayn / Bourne – Tag Titles – TLC
- Probably these guys, depending how crowd likes them. Or back on the Shield. Whatever.
2. Del Rio vs. Henry
- They don't like each other cause of the EC match. Henry deserves a match on Mania card. Probably one of his last. Retired.
3. Sheamus vs. Ryback – Lumberjack Match
- Sheamus gonna beat him some bully. Diggin' Sheamus with an “arse kicker” gimmick.
4. Axel (IC) vs. Rhodes (US) – Both Titles on the line
- Rhodes takes it all
5. Foley vs. Ambrose – Hardcore Match
- Finally get to see this one. Pure gold.
6. Kidd vs. Mysterio
- Mysterio passes his cruiserweight torch to the Canadian young buck,
7. Miz (c) vs. Ziggler – WHC
- Ziggler wins himself a world title again!
8. Ziggler (c) vs. Sandow (MITB) – WHC
- Sandow previously announced he would cash in right after. Douche. But what's this? He loses? Ziggler is the best ever.
9. Cena / Batista vs. Orton / HHH
- If you don't love this match then go eat nails. Maybe Ric Flair even guest refs.
10. WOMENS
- Chicks are gay.
11. Taker vs. Lesnar
- It had to happen.
12. Jericho (c) vs. Bryan vs. Punk – WWE
- Punk gets his rematch, Bryan gets his shot. Triple threat for Wrestlemania XXX. Get it? Only way to make it feel different and special compared to Taker vs. Lesnar and the evolution tag match. Also, Wrestlemania XX had a triple threat, and that was sweet. Bryan finally gets his reign.
ITS AT THIS POINT WE LIMP UNREASONABLY FAR INTO THE FUTURE
BACKLASH
- Cause Backlash is a cool ppv name. “At Backlash...”
1. Sheamus vs. Ryback – Cage Match
- Mania Rematch
2. All the Shield vs. Kofi / Usos
- Usos benefit from Kofi push #affirmativeaction.
- Afterwards and unrelatedly, Kidd attacks Del Rio during interview.
3. Rhodes (c) vs. Axel – IC / US Titles – No Holds Barred
- Not a one of the holds are barred.
4. Zayn / Bourne (c) vs. Christian / RVD – Tag Titles
- Nobody pinned the champs but they lost the belts. A case for the face vs. face rematch has been made!
5. Cena vs. Orton
- Serious business.
6. WOMENS
- Or maybe somebody wrestles a bear.
7. Ziggler (c) vs. Miz vs. Sandow – WHC
- Ziggler is World Heavyweight Champion of the World.
8. Bryan (c) vs. Punk – WWE Title
- Great match. Do another one like it on Raw but let it last an hour. Also Jericho left again.
KOTR
- We're bringing it back! Tournament on tv, finals on ppv!
1. PS: Battle Royal: Sheamus – For title shot at MITB
- Give the man a chance.
2. Zayn / Bourne (c) vs. Usos – Tag Titles
- Don't even remember making this. Good to pass them around though. Maybe the Shield is in this match too.
3. Kidd vs. Del Rio
- Lovin' the Kidd push. Great use for Del Rio.
4. Orton vs. Show
- Cause why not?
5. Rhodes (c) vs. Swagger vs. Cesaro – IC / US Title
- A Trtiple threat for the soul of the League of Nations.
6. Ziggler (c) vs. Sandow / Miz - WHC
- Whoever gets the pin wins the title in this TNA goofball of a match.
7. WOMENS
- Getting lazier.
8. Bryan (c) vs. Punk – WWE Title – Last Man Standing
- This match should happen as often as possible. Punk totally heel now? Somebody hire Samoa Joe.
9. Kofi vs. Cena – KOTR FINAL
- And now his main event status is complete (in a Darth Vader voice)
MITB
1. Ambrose vs. Ryback vs. Sandow vs. Miz vs. Del Rio vs. Christian vs. RVD vs. Barrett – WHC MITB
- I told you I would hook a brother up
2. Zayn / Bourne vs. Wyatts
- Wyatts returned after KOTR, feud with Zayn / Bourne / Kidd. Or something.
3. Rhodes (c) vs. Cesaro – IC Title
- Cesaro wins one.
4. Rhodes (c) vs. Swagger – US Title
- Swagger wins the other. The nations weep at the second annual screwing of the Rhodes.
5. Usos (c) vs. Shield – Tag Titles
- Like last year but the other way around. Same same, but different.
6. Ziggler (c) vs. Orton – WHC
- Ziggler is a STAR~!
7. WOMENS
- adkfjsakguhowrjmvsg ogsi mpifga
8. Bryan (c) vs. Sheamus – WWE Title
- Wrestlemania 28 rematch. Seven summers ago The Great Khali won a world title.
9. Kofi vs. Punk vs. Cena vs. Axel vs. Ryback vs. Kane vs. Show vs. Bray – WWE Title MITB
- The future is dark. Dark as black.
That's all folks.
Last edited:
