Grim Watches 1000 RAWs

[Grimoire Lenin]

Episode 11

WrestleMania IX Fallout
(It was indeed a nuclear fallout)

Well, it's another day and another RAW review! We are again at the Manhattan Center in New York on April 5, 1993! We got Vince McMahon and Randy Savage on commentary, and what's this? Is no Rob Bartlett to be seen? Cool; cool cool cool. Randy Savage still looks in insane shape and I often wonder why Vince thought he didn't have anything left in him. We're in the show immediately following WrestleMania IX, and boy howdy what a god-awful show that was, it can't get any worse than that, right?

So kicking things off, we got three major matches announced for tonight, we got Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Virgil (which is happening to start the show, look at that), The Steiner Brothers vs. The Beverly Brothers, and finally Jerry Lawler making his in-ring debut on RAW! Tell you what, two of those matches might end up being squash matches, but the Steiners vs. Beverlys might be worth the price of admission alone. We get the generic Biddle music of Virgil coming out first, and Bam Bam coming after. Sadly, Virgil borrowed $10 from Bam Bam and never paid him back, so he had to pay in pain.

Vince McMahon mentions before the match that Hulk Hogan won the WWF Championship, and I die a little inside, as I'm sure Bret did too. Virgil tries to clinch and grapple with Bam Bam, his speed and agility going to be important to beating him. Bam Bam Bigelow looks like he's having trouble, but overpowers quickly and the two actually have a pretty competent match. Virgil tries a crucifix pin on Bigelow, but Bigelow slams him down onto his back and is firmly in control now. Randy Savage sounds like he hates every second of having to praise Hulk Hogan for winning the WWF title, but lights up way more just hyping people on Bret Hart being so star-spangled awesome; it's true though, I'd rather watch ten Bret Hart matches compared to ten Hulk Hogan matches. Apparently, Rob Bartlett lost all his money in Vegas and that's why he's not on RAW tonight. The crowd feels a little lively even just for a bear hug rest spot between Bam Bam and Virgil. Virgil survives the three-hand drop spot and comes alive again to get some offense on Virgil, getting a nice clean dropkick. It was only for two though. Virgil goes for a turnbuckle dive but Bam Bam dodges out of the way just in time for Virgil to land face-first into the ground. Bigelow seizes the opportunity for a diving headbutt and an easy win for him. Not a bad match, if a little basic.

After the commercial break, we get a big lady in the ring, and Jerry Lawler coming out; I can only imagine the jokes running in Lawler's head atm. Oh no, he's straight to business and grabs a mic, going for a pretty normal heel cocky asshole gimmick. The crowd starts chanting "Burger King", and Lawler gets so pissed he walks out! After that little segment, we get an interview between Yokozuna & Mr. Fuji, and Gene Okerlund. Mr. Fuji protests that the championship match between Zuna and Hogan wasn't sanctioned, had no contract, and therefore shouldn't be legal. While technically he's correct, we all know how history goes.

Alright, we got ourselves our second match of the evening, and it's *checks notes* Kim Chee and Bob Backlund. What the fuck? So Backlund is coming off a miserable loss to Razor Ramon at WrestleMania, and I guess this match is going to be meant to rebuild him back up as a viable midcard competitor. Oh no, Backlund, a WWF Champion for seven years, is definitely gonna struggle against Kim Chee, who's a glorified jobber. Well, Chee cheats and is in control sadly. This match has a whole lot of nothing going on and tbh the crowd doesn't even really care either for most of it. Randy Savage and Vince McMahon joke about Rob Bartlett being stuck at the Motel 6 in Las Vegas. Vince McMahon also brings up Luna Vachon being in the corner of Shawn Michaels; that was a combination that made zero sense, and Shawn treated her like garbage backstage for the most part too. Bob Backlund manages to get control back and goes for a weird bridging pin and gets the win. It was a pretty nothing match.

After the commercial break, we get Rob Bartlett on the phone complaining that Vince's check to him bounced, and thus he can't make it to Monday Night RAW; imagine breaking all kinds of kayfabe here by admitting Vince is the guy signing your paychecks. Oh yeah, and we got a Damien Demento match vs. Jim Brunzell in the background. How the fuck is Jim Brunzell still employed by WWF? He hasn't done anything on-screen for like years. Rob asks Vince for a ticket or for some money to be wired and instantly Savage and Vince pretend that the connection is getting worse despite Rob being heard loud and clear. Savage is also so hostile to Bartlett too, telling him to get on with his life, and at one point, Savage says, "I'd love nothing more than to help that man, I just don't got the time." So while all this chaos is happening, Brunzell and Demento have... a basic, safe match where no one is ever at risk of getting hurt. Tell you what though, Jim Brunzell can still go for sure. I have zero clue why WWF thought this Damian Demento guy was worth a shit because he absolutely wasn't. Demento starts listening to the voices in his head because for some reason he also has to be semi-schizophrenic. Jim Brunzell tries to get back control, but sadly it's not enough as Demento hits a reverse neck breaker on him after the use of an illegal object, I think.

A thinner-looking woman is holding up the RAW sign, and we get the IcoPro commercial and the Randy Savage Slim Jim commercial too. Jerry Lawler comes back out, ready to wrestle... or not. He walks out again, still not sensing any respect from the fans. We get a commercial for the replay of WrestleMania IX, and I'd rather garotte myself than have to watch it again. Oh shit, here we go! Beverly Brothers vs. the Steiners! My body is ready for some good tag team action for once! The Steiners are right off their victory over the Headshrinkers at Mania, and they're the de facto #1 contenders to the WWF Tag Team Championships held by Money Inc. who somehow retained over Hogan & Beefcake... Oh, it was by DQ, whatever. We got early lock-ups and heel shenanigans by the Beverlys by telling the ref they got their hair pulled.

This match is already faster-paced than the last three. It's a very competitive match, but just watching these two teams, Rick Steiner is the best worker out of everyone and it's not even close. The Beverlys have to cheat in order to regain control, and they decide to start slowing the match down just a little bit. So now the story of the match is Scott Steiner having to play Ricky Morton while Rick Steiner can't help his brother from the continual onslaught. Steiner finally gets a comeback mounted though after several hope spots, and when Rick Steiner manages to get tagged in, this match goes into overdrive! The Beverlys almost take back control, but they hit one another, and Scott Steiner manages to hit a Steinerline, and the Steiner Brothers are winners! Tell you what, this was a good goddamn match for Monday Night RAW.

Alright, we finally get the Jerry Lawler match and it's against... Jim Powers. Somehow, Powers ambushes Lawler and starts off hot, beating the everloving crud out of Lawler and forcing him to retreat early. It's kind of interesting to see Lawler playing a more subdued, serious heel rather than the obnoxious and over-the-top personality he becomes by the end of 1993. The crowd continually chants "Burger King", and Jerry Lawler blames Randy Savage for it, jaw-jacking with him at the commentary table. It's kind of surreal to have Jim Powers control most of the match and Lawler stalling for time with crowd interaction. You watch Jerry Lawler actually performing moves and he has the best punches in wrestling, and in my opinion, the best fist drop in all of wrestling too. The fact that Lawler is having a back-and-forth match with this guy makes no sense to me, but it is what it is. Finally, Lawler hits the Piledriver and gets the win, shouting for Savage to watch it. That was a confusing match but it wasn't bad for the most part, once again, another safe basic match.

After the match, Jerry Lawler tells Savage that he's right where he belongs, behind a commentary desk, and says he doesn't have the guts to face of against Lawler. Savage stands up and Lawler instantly backs off, with Vince McMahon hyping up neck week's highlight match which is Money Inc. vs. The Bushwhackers. Oh, Jesus Christ. This RAW wasn't actually too bad, it was a breeze to get through and none of the matches were actually all that offensive. Definitely not a RAW I'd say to go out of your way to see, but most certainly not one to skip if given the choice. DISCRETION
​

Bam Bam Bigelow d. Virgil	**
Bob Backlund d. Kim Chee	1/2*
Damien Demento d. Jim Brunzell	1/2*
The Steiner Brothers d. The Beverly Brothers	***
Jerry Lawler d. Jim Powers	*3/4

 

[Alexa]

The Steiner Brothers v The Beverly Brothers, weird to think this match could happen again in NXT

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

Episode 12

Friar Ferguson Debuts
(Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, God Help Me This Episode...)

We're back, ladies and gentlemen, watching Monday Night RAW from 1993! We are live from the Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, New York! We open the show with Money Inc. handing money off to the Beverly Brothers; they're being paid to give information on the Steiners... which is some of the funniest shit the Beverly Brothers spew. Essentially comes down to "They're fast, they're strong, and don't get hit by the Frankensteiner. Just take out their legs." After the intro we get a belter from our usual trio of keepers: Macho Man, Vince McMahon, and a 5 O'clock Shadow Rob Bartlett. They hype up some of the matches tonight: Scott Steiner vs. IRS especially. Rob Bartlett will also be in charge of interviewing Luna Vachon. Additionally, they hype up... *checks notes* Friar Ferguson. Oh god.

Well anyways, kicking things off, it's Steiner vs. IRS. This match has got to be good. Rob Bartlett already starts before the match begins when he makes the astute observation, "What does Irwin need the suspenders for if he's already got the belt?" This is in reference to the fact that IRS always wore suspenders and a belt to keep his pants up. Instantly reminds me of a quote from Once Upon a Time in the West, "Wobbles, how can you trust a man that wears both a belt and suspenders? Man can't even trust his own pants." We have Rick Steiner in Scott's corner, and Ted DiBiase in IRS's corner, because of course. It kind of starts slow with a lot of wristlocks and slow pacing, but I expect it to pick up soon. IRS takes advantage early on in the match, but you can't stop Scott Steiner. He hits a masterful powerslam, and I think early-90s Scott Steiner is my favorite iteration. Shortly after the match picks up and I've actually gotta admit, these two guys work very well together. I feel like people forget that IRS was actually a really good worker in his own right.

I notice Rob Bartlett and Macho Man having a bit of crack with one another cutting tax jokes and whatnot. Bartlett is noticeably less annoying in this match compared to the last few weeks. IRS slows this match down, way down, with some rest holds and whatnot. Vince McMahon wonders what Scott Steiner could do to get back in here, and Bartlett of all people quips, "Snap his suspenders". That line made me smile a little. Vince and Macho also joke that Bartlett is just excited for his interview with Luna Vachon. Bartlett, completely deadpan, replies, "I can hardly stifle my excitement." Say what you will, when Bartlett isn't making annoying as fuck impersonations, he's hilarious. Steiner starts mounting a comeback eventually after IRS tried to hit a diving nothing and ate a boot instead. Steiner even uses IRS's tie to whip his head into the ropes. We get a rough looking double-underhook suplex, and it devolves into chaos! Ted DiBiase breaks up the pin, and the Steiners, Money Inc, and the Beverly Brothers are all fighting. It's a 2-on-one advantage for Money Inc, but a miscue causes the Beverly Brothers to hit Ted DiBiase and the Steiner Brothers escape with a DQ victory. DiBiase is pissed at the Beverlys and there's dissention between them! The Beverly Brothers attack them after they turn their backs, and that ends this segment. Good match, sadly, the best match of the night.

(This was a rough looking underhook suplex)

We return from the WrestleMania IX commercial, telling you to rewatch it, and in comes Tatanka! It's a jobber match between Tatanka and some goober named Skull Von Krush. Looks like an overweight version of Baron Von Raschke and Krusher Kruschev mixed together. So while that's going on, out comes Doink The Clown (Oh goodie). He's out there spraying water into the crowd with an umbrella. Tatanka kills this guy pretty handily though, it doesn't even take four minutes. Not much to really say about this match. It's a win for Tatanka for the sake of keeping his undefeated streak going. After the match we get a post-WrestleMania report from Sean Mooney! He shills the encore showing later that night, at 10 PM EST. He then spoils the results of the event, killing any reason to want to watch WrestleMania.

(What the fuck is this job guy doing?)

We return from commercial break to see Rob Bartlett checking out the WWF Magazine. But it's time for the interview with Luna Vachon, and I imagine this is gonna be just as nuts as I expect it to be. Her deep gravelly voice comes off immediately, and I do have to wonder why she was ever paired with Shawn Michaels Rob Bartlett makes an Exorcist joke, and Luna doesn't take it too kindly. Out comes Sensational Sherri and Luna looks ready to kill her. The fists start flying and Rob Bartlett even gets attacked for his troubles. Suplex on the outside! They even brawl out into the crowd, which is kind of a new concept in 1993, especially in women's wrestling. In comes Sgt. Slaughter who singlehandedly manages to separate the two girls. But Luna sneaks back out and they brawl some more. Lots of skin showing in this match, fellas. While this is going on, the local jobber is standing in the ring, waiting for his match to start... Wait a minute, that's Scotty 2 Hotty!

Out comes Papa Shango, and yep, what do you know, it's a squash match where Scott Taylor gets murderized by the Shango Tango. Rob Bartlett returns from the back where's been pulverized by the two girls, and he falls over unconscious, but Macho Man slaps him awake. I get the feeling Macho Man had been waiting months to slap Bartlett. Oh, while that's happening, Papa Shango wins his squash match. Incredibly uninteresting match especially considering the hot angle that just happened a few minutes earlier.

And alas, it is time for the main event. Friar Ferguson vs. Chris Duffy. Friar Ferguson, needless to say, was one of the most outlandish and wild gimmicks in WWE history. What makes it funnier is the fact the only reason the gimmick died was because the Catholic Church of New York threatened to sue WWE. If that hadn't happened, who knows how long this gimmick would have survived. Mike Shaw's gimmick after Ferguson wasn't much better though. Still, the fact that Vince McMahon in 1993 thought to himself, "a mute wrestling monk" was gonna be a big hit is beyond me. Shaw's whole WWE career felt like one big rib on him, but good on him for sticking through it and at least making money. Oh yeah, Friar Ferguson kills this guy and unfortunately, this is the main event. There's even a spot where he shoves Duffy's head underneath his robes. Yuck. This crowd is pretty much dead and does not care about any monk, much less a wrestling monk.

(This takes blessing someone to a whole new level.)

After the match, we get a WrestleMania IX promo, shilling the encore performance later tonight. We get some crowd reactions from after Mania, and a lot of fans seemed to have had an enjoyable experience. The commentary team hypes up Virgil vs. Razor Ramon for next week. Money Inc. cuts a closing promo hating on the Beverly Brothers, who have challenged them to a tag match next week on Monday Night RAW. But it's an ambush! The Beverly Brothers and Money Inc. fight one more time, and that closes out the show! Honestly, this was a surprisingly easy breeze to sit through. Probably not totally recommended because there's only two segments worth seeing: Scott Steiner vs. IRS and the Luna/Sherri segment. Nevertheless, it's not the worst RAW episode ever. DISCRETION
​

Scott Steiner (w/ Rick Steiner) d. Irwin R. Schyster (w/ Ted DiBiase) [DQ]	**1/2​
Tatanka d. Skull von Krush	1/2 *​
Papa Shango d. Scott Taylor	SQUASH​
Friar Ferguson d. Chris Duffey	SQUASH​

 

[Sabretooth]

If it takes you six months to get to episode 12 we’ll be dead before this watchalong is over

 

[Leon TrotSky]

Skull von Krush goes on to be Vito btw

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

Skull von Krush goes on to be Vito btw

That explains so much, dude looks like a complete fat ass here, he must have been taking some magic pills to transform into Vito.

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

Episode 13

Bret Hart's Hit List
(Just don't put the letter "S" in front of that list...)

Welcome back everyone, it's time for another thrilling episode of Monday Night RAW, yet again from the Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, New York. The show opens with a Money Inc. and Beverly Brothers promo. Both basically chat shit about one another, and then the intro hits. Starting things off is Razor Ramon vs. Virgil, which should serve to be an... interesting match. Biddle music hits and Virgil comes out. Our commentary team consists yet again of Vince McMahon, Macho Man, and Rob Bartlett. Virgil comes out hot and has the early advantage in this match, which is pretty surprising. Razor Ramon tries to hit the back elbow in the corner on Virgil, but Virgil ducks out of the way.

Razor, of all people, is giving Virgil lots to work with, but it doesn't take too long for Razor to get back in this when Virgil misses a dropkick. Razor is noticeably starting to get cheers; this is before he was even a face too. Razor then begins just pummeling Virgil and having control of the second half of the match. This includes a brutal STF and an Octopus Stretch by Razor. Virgil begins to mount a comeback though, and this crowd is actually pretty happy for Virgil. Then Virgil misses a diving crossbody, and Razor slams him down with the Razor's Edge, and it's over. This was a surprisingly good match. A sub-seven minute match with some good offense between them, and the commentary wasn't actually all that bad, to start.

The commentary team hypes up the rest of the show, including Money Inc. vs. The Beverly Brothers, and a special interview with Bret Hart. Rob Bartlett tries to say he's not gonna be able to interview anyone because of a black eye he sustained in a motorcycle accident, but Macho Man cuts him off and very threateningly says, "You tripped, and it wasn't a motorcycle, it was a tricycle." God damn, Macho, no need to threaten that man so much. Oh, and Giant Gonzalez is up next. Here comes the WrestleCrap. It's Gonzalez vs. L.A. Gore. Vince McMahon calls him an "Awesome Creature", and I have to wonder if Vince understands what the word "awesome" actually means. Anyways, Gonzalez pummels this dweeb in less than a minute and a half. Nothing says RAW like a miserable squash match with an untalented giant. The less said about this squash match, the better.

We get a video package from Luna Vachon, who pretty much explains the whole business with Sherri, including exclusive footage of Luna kicking the shit out of Sherri in the nurse's station backstage at Mania. Luna Vachon's voice reminds me a lot of the Deadites from The Evil Dead. She declares that she is going to wipe Sherri from this earth, and become the true goddess of the square circle. Pretty good promo all things considered. After that, Tatanka comes out!

It's Tatanka vs. Art Thomas. It's another jobber match, where Tatanka practically runs all over this guy, despite the guy having a bit of offense at the beginning. It's the WWF special: heel jobbers get a little offense in before getting plowed over by the babyface star. Tatanka starts going through his hulk-up motion, and there's some brutal-sounding chops in there, as Art Thomas gets hit with a Samoan Drop and it's all over. Another quick squash match that doesn't mean do much, but hey, we're about to get the real highlight of the night!

It's time for The Beverly Brothers vs. Money Inc.! Money Inc. comes out first, and IRS lambasts the crowd for not getting their taxes in on April 15th. I actually expect this match to get some decent time and to have a lot of action in it. The Beverly Brothers turning semi-babyface is low key kind of wild to think about. They're ambushed from behind to kick things off, and it just turns into a brawl! Rob Bartlett quips, "Money Inc. is gonna be Chapter 11 by the end of this one, Vince." I chuckled. Rob Bartlett, by the end of his run with WWF, actually managed to become fairly tolerable if not a welcome addition to the booth. These last few weeks he hasn't been overly annoying like he was the first three.

Money Inc. seem like they're ready to walk out of the match, but things settle down, and Blake & Ted DiBiase start the match proper. The Beverlys work on the arm of DiBiase, with plenty of rest holds and armbars. Constant tagging in and out for the Beverly Brothers, and DiBiase looks to be in trouble, but he manages to get a tag to IRS! But the referee didn't see it! Rob Bartlett has another stormer of a one-liner, and he asks Vince, "When Luna means she's a woman of the 90s, does that mean, like, her IQ?" Oh Rob, you scamp. The Beverly Brothers are dominating this first portion of the match, with Ted DiBiase fighting to get a tag to IRS. IRS at one point steps in and breaks up a submission attempt by Beau, but it doesn't exactly help Ted any more, cuz Blake gets tagged in right after.

DiBiase does manage to fend off Blake just enough to properly tag IRS in though! Unfortunately for IRS, he ends up in the same predicament as Ted;' after missing an elbow drop, the Beverly Brothers begin working on IRS's arm! IRS tries grabbing Beau's hair, but it just isn't enough to stop the armlock that's applied to him. The Beverly Brothers resort to cheating now, choking IRS with the tag string tied to the turnbuckle! After the commercial break though, somehow IRS managed to take control of the match. Ted DiBiase fakes a tag while the ref isn't looking, and Money Inc. is back in this match in a big way!

IRS get tagged back in, but Beau manages to hit a running clothesline to give himself a little breathing room. It doesn't do much as IRS tags DiBiase in. It becomes a series of hope spots for Beau tries desperately to get to Blake. He manages to tag Blake in though, and he runs all over Ted DiBiase! Beau's back in and he continues the damage done to DiBiase, shortly after which the Beverlys knock IRS out of the ring, and go for a double team move. But DiBiase ducks out of the way! Beau hits Blake by accident, and Ted rolls up Beau for the win! This was a really good RAW match, and I'm not gonna lie, the tag division in 1993 might have been pretty underrated. Your top 4 teams at the time are Money Inc., the Beverly Brothers, The Steiner Brothers, and The Headshrinkers. All four teams are really good, and at least 3 of them have certifiable Hall of Famers (Scott & Rick Steiner, Ted DiBiase & IRS, and Fatu).

After a WWF Mania promo package with Todd Pettengill, we get a very special interview with Bret "The Hitman" Hart. It's his first interview after his loss to Yokozuna at WrestleMania IX. Vince McMahon asks Bret what it felt like to be an underdog champion against a 500+ pounder like Yokozuna. Bret talks about always feeling like an underdog, always having a chip on his shoulder. He mentions he enjoys being an underdog. He talks about people thinking Bret's done, or that he's achieved the high point of his career. Well, he lists the number of championship losses he's suffered in his career, and how people back then thought he was done after that. Bret declares he feels a little bit naked, but that he believes in himself to get right back on top. He declares he has made a hit list, and Lex Luger is the first guy up.

Bret refers to an incident from when Luger had attacked him from behind, and Luger claims that he cost Bret the title because of that attack at Mania. Vince McMahon mentions an investigation into Luger's legendary forearm (which has been a gimmick of his ever since the motorcycle accident he suffered in the Summer of 1992, I believe), which allegedly did knock Bret Hart unconscious in that attack. Bret does say he should probably be investigated to see if there is more than just bone in that elbow (spoiler: there isn't). Bret then says he's gonna show Lex Luger that this isn't bodybuilding, but wrestling, and Luger's gonna learn firsthand what wrestling is all about. Luger will be stepping into the ring with the Best There Is, The Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will Be. He then says that after Luger, Yokozuna and Hulk Hogan are next. Pretty good promo from Bret, to be honest.

So now we get to the main event of the evening, Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Phil Apollo. The Beast From the East is arguably in his best look throughout his career. I just want to talk about how much I love Bam Bam Bigelow and wish his career went a different way. I wish he was a bona fide main event star for WWE for many years, that he was a championship contender, and that he had many awesome matches with Bret Hart, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Shawn Michaels, Undertaker, Steve Austin, and Vader. I wish he won a world title at least once in his career. When people make lists for "Best Big Men" in wrestling history, Bam Bam Bigelow should be in the top 5, if not the top 3.

So as an exemplary example of how little WWF thought of Bam Bam as a future star, they have him in the main event of Monday Night RAW, whomping on a jobber, when they have Doink The Clown come out and distract from his match. Rob Bartlett astutely asks if Doink is schizophrenic, and Vince mentions that he'd rather not get to know Doink. Anyways, Bam Bam kills this dude with a diving headbutt, and it's all over. Pretty standard squash match, puts Bigelow over, and like I said, I think Bam Bam is in the best look of his entire career here. This is arguably his physical peak for the next few years and it's a shame he never became the main event star he should have been.

Right after the match, more shenanigans as... *checks notes* Friar fucking Ferguson comes out to stop Bam Bam from attacking this Phil Apollo any further. The two almost get into a fist fight. Ferguson hits a dropkick on Bam Bam, and I continue to cry a little on the inside at the slow perpetuating death of Bam Bam's career. What a lame ending to Monday Night RAW. Of course before the show actually goes off the air, we get Vince McMahon hyping up Crush vs. Lex Luger. This show wasn't actually bad, all things considered though. I'd argue it was a pretty breezy watch through, and I liked at least two of the matches on this show. That has to account for something, at least. Not a must-watch, but if you're looking for some decent action from 1993, you'll at least enjoy The Beverly Brothers vs. Money Inc. DISCRETION
​

Razor Ramon d. Virgil	* 3/4​
Giant Gonzales (w/ Harvey Whippleman) d. L.A. Gore	SQUASH​
Tatanka d. Art Thomas	SQUASH​
Money Inc. d. The Beverly Brothers	***​
Bam Bam Bigelow d. Phil Apollo	SQUASH​

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

Episode 14

An Indecent Proposal
(Please tell me Sherri's involved...)

Sup folks. Another day, another RAW review. It's April 26, 1993, coming to you from the Manhattan Center in New York City! Kicking things off, we have a new commentary team! It's Vince McMahon, Macho Man, and Bobby Heenan! It's official: Rob Bartlett is gone from the WWF after this last week, and I gotta say, it's been quite a journey with him. In the beginning, he was utterly intolerable, but by the end of it, I actually started to enjoy his commentary. It's a shame, it felt like Rob finally started understanding wrestling. Alas, Bobby Heenan will always be a massive upgrade over Bartlett. The team hypes up Crush vs. Lex Luger, which should be... a match in a swath of matches in the century of wrestling matches.

Our first match of the evening is Damien Demento vs. Mr. Perfect! Alright, at least kicking things off with Curt Hennig is a big win in my book, and he ought to make this match at least tolerable. Macho Man jokes that Bobby Heenan couldn't hold Rob Bartlett's jock strap, which Heenan immediately shoots back, "Well he has to, to keep his ears warm." The match starts with lots of stalling by Demento, who talks to the voices in his head. Then Mr. Perfect shows off why he's awesome. Macho Man and Bobby Heenan are having a lot of crack on commentary, kayfabe snipping at one another. A cameraman gets knocked over off the apron by Demento, who threw Hennig into him. This gives Demento the advantage here, and he proceeds to beating up Perfect. There's some solid back and forth action as Perfect begins to mount a comeback, and the crowd is pretty loud for Hennig. The Perfect-Plex is hit, and it's all she wrote for Damien Demento. Perfect wins in just under five minutes, and not a bad match. The crowd was into it at least.

After the match, we get an essay from a grade school kid. It's an anti-dope essay. It's written in the perspective of someone at their own funeral, lamenting the dangers of drugs and addiction. At the end of the video, the Undertaker emerges from the shadows and menacingly towers over this kid, and says, "There's no hope with dope." I laughed, and I laughed, and I laughed. Taker didn't need to be there but it turned this from a weird segment into a fucking hilarious one. The Undertaker's theme plays as the video ends. So now we're back and for some reason Bobby Heenan starts talking about ruining someone's marriage proposal live on RAW. Okay? I don't see what this has to do with RAW, Bobby, but you do you.

Our next matchup though is Lex Luger vs. Crush! I can only imagine how Lex Luger is going to carry Brian Adams's ass. Luger looks out towards Bobby Heenan, seemingly trying to stifle a shit-eating grin. The commentary team focuses way too much time on this couple, while Luger/Crush try for a test of strength spot. Luger kicks Crush in the gut when it seems like he's about to lose, and for some reason, the crowd is into this match. Luger gets a military press slam for his troubles, and he looks like he's about ready to leave. Luger, into the camera shouts, "What was that!?" The fans do have a natural dislike for Luger, and it works wonders. Honestly it's mostly just Crush and Luger exchanging power moves, arm drags, clotheslines, and rest holds. There's actually a pretty good spot where Luger tries a hip toss, but Crush instead hits a belly-to-belly Suplex.

After a while, Luger goes in for a Bearhug, but Crush fights out of it, which leads to Luger hitting a huge powerslam, which looks fucking awesome by the way. Crush blocks a Suplex, hits a slightly ugly looking on of his own on Luger. Crush then hits a much nicer looking back Suplex. Power moves galore here, while Crush tries to move like an agile big man. Crush hits his finishing move, which is that goofy looking head crush; Luger of course, fights hard to get out of it, but can't.

So how does this match continue? Because Crush is a big dumb idiot and lets himself get distracted by Doink The Clown, who beat him at WrestleMania. There's two Doinks in the balconies of the Manhattan Center, and this gives Luger the opportunity to hit Crush from behind with his loaded elbow. Crush is knocked out, and Luger wins via count-out. Crush is a big giant dumbass here, had the match won, but he lost this match because in kayfabe, he let himself get distracted. This was an alright match. Not gonna say it's stellar or anything, cuz it's not. But if you were a fan in 1993 and watching this on TV, I don't think you'd be too disappointed.

We return from commercial break, with a major plug for King of the Ring, the next WWF Pay-Per-View coming up in June. They hype up some of the Qualifying Matches, including Mr. Perfect vs. Doink, and Bob Backlund vs. Leg Luger. Take all my money, please, those have to be at least decent matches, please. Our next match though is Mr. Hughes vs. Jason Knight. Jason Knight, of ECW fame, gets pummeled by Mr. Hughes. Meanwhile, Bobby Heenan dicks around with the television set, and starts watching different channels. What an utter clusterfuck, this match is. Between Heenan trying to ruin a proposal, changing channels on the television set, and the total non-action of Mr. Hughes, this was just awful. Please get us out of this segment. So instead, we get a Smoking Gunns promo; oh Jesus Christ. It's porn-stache Billy Gunn and assault-stache Bart Gunn. Those moustaches could kill a man in cold blood.

Well now it's time for a Shawn Michaels promo, and I don't think we've seen him on Monday Night RAW since January. Nevertheless, we got a major match announcement for next week! It's Shawn Michaels defending the Intercontinental Championship against "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan! Shawn Michaels hates having to come to New York City, then quips that he sees two dudes that he saw at a march in Washington. For context: It was the March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay and Bi Equal Rights and Liberation. Gay jokes in 1993, how apropos... Then the crowd starts calling him gay as well. Well this shit sucks. Shawn calls himself an equal opportunity defender; he says he'll defend his title against anyone. We're brought back to WrestleMania IX, where Shawn had attacked Perfect backstage after his match with Luger. Shawn equates Mr. Perfect to Grover from Sesame Street, because he put Perfect in the trash... but really, what Shawn meant was that Mr. Perfect was like Oscar The Grouch. Two different characters Shawn; you couldn't even do your research, you idiot. Mr. Perfect comes out through, taking exception to being called a trash man. Perfect's held back from fighting by the referees, but Shawn kicks him square in the head, and the chase is on! They both scurry backstage to probably fight.

After that... uncomfortable segment, we get a video segment from Superstars, where we get a look at Tatanka's budding rivalry with Bam Bam Bigelow, the both of them seem to be fighting, including Bam Bam Bigelow cutting Tatanka's hair! It's time for our main event, though. Typhoon vs. Skull Von Krush, the future Vito LoGrasso. We got Hacksaw Jim Duggan on the phone during this match. Lots of chaos, disorientating stuff. Yet again, just like the Mr. Hughes match, too much shit happening at once. Anyways, Typhoon kills Von Krush. After the match, Bobby Heenan takes over, and introduces the couple. These two are absolutely embarrassed, Heenan is such a slimy asshole, it's a little cringe. Either way, she says yes, and I'm very happy for them. Vince McMahon, to end the show, tells us Kamala and The Headshrinkers will be in action, and of course, Jim Duggan will be challenging Shawn Michaels for the WWF Intercontinental Championship next week on RAW. The first half of this show, was quite honestly, a delight. It was easy, and a breeze to get through, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. And then the last two matches happened and it nosedived into being bad. So if you're really interested in watching this episode, only watch until the end of the Luger/Crush match. It's not like anything else happens here. Maybe next week will be better? DISCRETION
​

Mr. Perfect d. Damian Demento	* 3/4​
Lex Luger d. Crush (Count-Out)	** 1/4​
Mr. Hughes d. Jason Knight	SQUASH​
Typhoon d. Skull Von Krush	SQUASH​

 

[Sabretooth]

I really can’t believe Raw used to just be random squash matches. No wonder the company was fucked for years

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

Episode 15

The Guiding Light
(Guide me away from awful shows...)

Well fellas, we're kicking things off strong, we're here at the Manhattan Center in New York City; our opening contest for the evening is Shawn Michaels defending his Intercontinental Championship against "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. The commentary team for this one is yet again Macho Man, Vince McMahon, and Bobby Heenan. Good times are indeed about to happen, I think. Shawn immediately flees the ring after Duggan tries to go after him. USA chants roar through the crowd, despite both guys being American. There's a lot of stalling being done, between Jim Duggan getting the crowd to chant, and Shawn Michaels continually running to the outside.

Duggan takes the early advantage with a few stiff clotheslines, and more chanting from the crowd. It feels like every sequence is just "Duggan makes the crowd chant, beats up Shawn for a bit, and Shawn falls into the outside." So Shawn decides he's quitting, he's gonna leave the match. Duggan literally picks up him and carries him back to the ring. Shawn only manages to get a bit of an advantage by guillotining Duggan against the ropes. You can't keep Duggan down though. Bobby Heenan quips, "Don't these people ever shut up?" He is of course referring to this pretty hot crowd; whether you like it or you don't, you can't deny that Jim Duggan is over as hell. I'm not gonna lie though, this match is pretty disappointing. We haven't reached Shawn's peak as a performer (we're probably three years away from that), and everyone knows Jim Duggan isn't exactly the exemplar of technical wrestling. So instead of a solid ring-based match, we get a slow, plodding match that panders to the crowd. The hot crowd does help a bit though.

Shawn Michaels tries to leave again, and Duggan comes to drag him back. But after a bit of brawling on the outside, Duggan clotheslines Shawn over the barricade, and he wins by count-out. Duggan, smart enough to know he didn't win the title, doesn't celebrate. He instead grabs a mic and insists he wants another piece of Shawn Michaels. So he stages a sit-in, stopping the show dead in its tracks. Yeah, this match wasn't great. So while Duggan is wandering around the ring in hopes of getting a rematch, we get a King of the Ring report from Gene Okerlund. Oh hey, Crush peddling IcoPro? Big yikes.

Anyways, here's some of the wrestlers who qualified: Bret Hart and Lex Luger, while on Superstars, Doink the Clown and Mr. Perfect will be facing off against each other in a rematch. Additionally, we have the WWF Championship match between Hulk Hogan and Yokozuna. Okerlund then announces that Duggan just left the ring, and is calling WWF President Jack Tunney to demand a rematch. Oh, and some other qualifying matches coming up: Tito Santana vs. Razor Ramon and Jim Duggan vs. Papa Shango. Interesting stuff.

Our next match is Doink the Clown vs. The Kamikaze Kid... or The Lightning Kid... or the 1-2-3 Kid... it's Sean Waltman. Doink kills him dead. The match takes less than 2 minutes, and to be honest, if Waltman was more established, I actually would have liked to see this match go more than 2 minutes. Nevertheless, this is just to give Doink a strong win on RAW. Vince McMahon says, "This clown is EVIL!" Bobby Heenan defends Doink though, stating that he is a great wrestler. Heenan isn't wrong either; Matt Borne is a genuinely good wrestler. He has this great look of evil that he manages to give off every time he stares into the camera.

Now after a commercial break, we've got... another squash match. Bob Backlund vs. Duane Gill, of Gillberg fame. Backlund is coming off a loss at WrestleMania to Razor Ramon, which was a clusterfuck. Backlund goes to shake Gill's hand, but Gill just laughs him off; a big mistake for the future Gillberg. During this match, Vince McMahon announces Shawn and Duggan will have a rematch for the Intercontinental Championship next week on RAW, but this time in a Lumberjack match. That's one way to get people interested in next week's match. Bobby Heenan can't believe that it's for the IC title, and Macho Man calls him a coward just like Shawn Michaels. Bob Backlund wins, and that's another squash match down.

We then get a Jim Duggan interview, and he's happy to have a rematch next week in a lumberjack match. He says that Shawn Michaels sure is pretty, and can wrestle well, but can't fight a lick, and he's going to come away with the Intercontinental Title when all is said and done. So after that interview, we get a Smoking Gunns promo. They say there's trouble in the WWF, the likes of Headshrinkers, Beverly Brothers, and Money Inc. They also fire pistols at random items. Then after that, we have the return of Captain Lou Albano! He comes into the ring, faps about for a bit, and then joins the commentary team. Our next match is The Headshrinkers vs. two jobbers in Jim Bell and Tony Roy. Lou Albano recalls his history with the Wild Samoans, Afa and Sika. He also buries Bobby Heenan right to the man's face, which is kind of funny. Samu and Fatu just kill these two guys. During the match, Vince McMahon also announces that Yokozuna will be one of the lumberjacks in Jim Duggan and Shawn Michaels's title match. Also Lou Albano starts speaking Samoan to the Headshrinkers, although I'm not exactly sure it isn't just Gibberish and not Samoan.

So after this match, the Samoans tear apart this guy's wrestling trunks, because you gotta get the savage gimmick over. We then get an ad for "Smack 'Em, Whack 'Em", a Coliseum Home Video exclusive, that includes some of Bret Hart's best matches of 1992 (including his WWF Championship win against Ric Flair). Kamala is in the ring, and he's facing off against Rich Myers. Another fucking squash match. Vince McMahon then announces that Mr. Perfect will be a lumberjack in next week's IC title match. A lot of rivalries are getting tied together at the moment, which is kind of nice. Meanwhile, Kamala manhandles Myers in less than 2 and a half minutes. We also notice that Slick is no longer with Kamala at the moment. Kayfabe reason, Slick believes Kamala doesn't need him anymore; the Shoot reason is that, I believe, Slick was no longer employed by the WWF. Kamala continues the silly gimmick of not knowing how to pin someone. After that, Vince McMahon hypes up next week's RAW, which has, aside from the Intercontinental Championship Lumberjack match, a King of the Ring Qualifying Match between Bam Bam Bigelow and Typhoon. Bobby Heenan interviews Shawn Michaels backstage, who is apoplectic at the fact he has to defend his title yet again. Heenan asks Shawn if he's got anything up his sleeve for next week, and Michaels only tells him out of earshot from the camera. And with that, this show is over. Good god this episode fucking sucked. Call this the Jim Duggan show because we got like 35 minutes of either Jim Duggan, or people talking about Jim Duggan. SKIP
​

Jim Duggan d. Shawn Michaels (c) [Intercontinental Championship] (Count-Out)	1/2 *​
Doink the Clown d. The Kamikaze Kid	SQUASH​
Bob Backlund d. Duane Gill	SQUASH​
The Headshrinkers (w/ Afa) d. Jim Bell & Tony Roy	SQUASH​
Kamala d. Rich Myers	SQUASH​

 

[Death By Looch]

Damn... sorry you had to endure this one, Grim...

Highlight of the night though

God damn that sends shivers down my spine... and I'm not afraid of clowns

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

Episode 16

He's a Lumberjack and He's Okay
(I sleep all night and I work all day)

Howdy everyone, it's time for another edition of Monday Night RAW. This time, it comes from the Manhattan Center in New York City! We start with a pre-taped segment from earlier in the day where Shawn Michaels tells everyone that he's gonna show everyone why he's the Intercontinental Champion. Suddenly, Mr. Perfect appears and starts fighting Shawn! Shawn gets thrown into a car, and it's an all out brawl in the street! It's not just any brawl! It's MONDAY NIGHT BRAWL! As usual, we have Vince McMahon, Macho Man, and Bobby Heenan! Heenan claims that Perfect was hired by Jim Duggan to do a hit on Shawn Michaels. They hype up the Lumberjack match tonight between Shawn Michaels and Jim Duggan for the Intercontinental Championship. It oughta be good, hopefully.

So instead, let's start our first match tonight... and it's Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Typhoon! Let's fucking go, a WWE style Hoss-match, hopefully this doesn't disappoint! These two are built like brick shithouses, and this match is of course a King of the Ring qualifying match. Both guys attempt a shoulder tackle thrice, and neither gets knocked down, but Typhoon, being the slightly taller fella, takes the early match advantage anyways. These two beat the absolute piss out of one another and it makes for some good power wrestling, despite some of rest holds being applied. Bam Bam hits an awesome back Suplex on Typhoon, who just gets right back up and continues the good fight.

Bam Bam eventually starts cheating and poking Typhoon's eyes and throwing him into the ring-post. Bam Bam actually looks like he accidentally busted the top of his head open on something. Bobby Heenan quips, "You know the only way to slow Typhoon down? Twinkies." Bam Bam applies a long sleeper, as the show goes to commercial break, and when we return, Typhoon is mounting a comeback. But Bam Bam gets out of the way, applies a Samoan Drop, and he hits his diving headbutt for a win! Was a pretty solid display of hoss wrestling, but I kind of wish we could see Bam Bam vs. Earthquake; the dream of a hoss match (I'm aware the match happened a few times in WWF, just never on RAW).

After the match, we get a Smoking Gunns promo package. It tells us they're coming... and it's true, about five days after this RAW aired, the Smoking Gunns debut on WWF Mania, a Saturday Morning B-show. When we return, we have arguably the loveliest looking RAW girl. Like, a total smokeshow here. Fun fact, that is Themis Klarides, a former Connecticut State Representative, and one of Shawn Michaels's exes. Say what you will about Shawn, you can't say he had terrible taste in women. Bobby Heenan and Randy Savage are practically salivating over her, at least until Yokozuna comes out. It's our next match of the evening! It's Yokozuna vs. PJ Walker! Walker, of course, will go on to have a semi-successful career as Aldo Montoya and later Justin Credible. Additionally, he's the only member of the future Kliq to not be a main event star in WWE. No amount of politics could help him. Yokozuna pounds him into the dust, and Justin Credible gets squashed like a bug. Yokozuna had a notorious tendency to treat jobbers like shit, and this was definitely an example.

It's time for the King of the Ring report! Gene Okerlund, but first, a Lex Luger IcoPro ad! We hype up Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna for the WWF Championship, as well as the King of the Ring tournament: Bret Hart, Lex Luger, Razor Ramon, Jim Duggan, and Bam Bam Bigelow have qualified thus far. 3 spots remain for the tournament, and on Superstars, it'll be a rematch between Mr. Perfect and Doink the Clown, additionally Tatanka will be facing off against Giant Gonzalez (Oh dear lord)! You gotta tune into King of the Ring, on June 13, 1993! So after that, we've got Mr. Perfect in action after the commercial break!

Our next matchup tonight is Mr. Perfect facing off against "Iron Mike" Sharpe. Mike Sharpe, what a classic character. Dude fits in any era, he's an all-time underrated job guy who can put on a competitive match. Before the match begins though, Mr. Perfect flirts with one of the RAW girls (the one that's definitely not Themis). I'm hoping for a sub-5 minute match, this should have good action. Unfortunately, the first minute or so is kind of stalling. Perfect hits a perfect drop kick to push Sharpe on the outside, who's pissed. This crowd is absolutely hot for Perfect, and why not? He's probably the #2 babyface in the company behind Bret Hart at the moment (yes, that includes Hulk Hogan). These two just get into a chest-slapping fight, and it's fucking awesome. The crowd starts doing a wave-like motion, chanting for Mr. Perfect to hit his Perfect-Plex (at least I think so). Then of course, Bobby Heenan starts changing the channel on the monitors, because we can't have nice things. Eventually, Perfect hits the Perfect-Plex for the win, and I'll be honest. This might have been a squash match, but it was a damn entertaining one at least. So I'm gonna give it a star rating, just because I'm feeling generous.

We return from commercial break for a match between Mr. Hughes and Sean Waltman, going by the Cannonball Kid tonight. Before the match can begin, we have Bobby Heenan desperately trying to get the number of RAW girl Themis Klarides. She keeps her distance, and sadly for Bobby Heenan, he never gets her number. Harvey Wippleman has officially signed Mr. Hughes as a client. Well, it's a shame for Sean Waltman, because he gets destroyed by Hughes in little over 2 minutes. It's a squash match among a myriad of squash matches. We then get an All-American Wrestling promo, one of WWE's various TV shows going on. Let's count how many TV shows are taking place right now in 1993 for WWE: We have Monday Night RAW, WWF Mania, WWF Superstars, WWF All-American Wrestling, WWF on MSG Network, WWF Prime Time Wrestling (which had just ended in January), and WWF Wrestling Challenge. WWE television has been bloated as fuck, even going back to the 80s, let me tell ya.

So anyways, it's time for the Main Event of the evening! A lumberjack match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship! Our lumberjacks for the evening are: Typhoon, Terry Taylor, Mr. Hughes, Yokozuna, Mr. Perfect, Bam Bam Bigelow, Tatanka, and Bob Backlund. Basically the entire upper level scene in WWF at the moment outside of Razor Ramon and Bret Hart. Jim Duggan comes out and he beelines it for Yokozuna, wanting to beat the heck out of him. Shawn comes out on crutches and claims he won't be able to wrestle tonight because of the attack by Mr. Perfect earlier tonight. The other heels empathize with Shawn, but Perfect, who knows better, punches out Shawn and tosses him into the ring. Shawn immediately stops pretending he's injured because he's so angry at Perfect, and lo and behold, he's perfectly fine! It's a May Miracle! The match begins, and Shawn is still dressed in street clothes. If I'm honest, his street clothes is a way better look for Shawn than most of his outfits at the time.

The crowd is really into this match, which isn't surprising, people pop for Jim Duggan. We also get more "Shawn is Gay" chants, because of course. Duggan just beats the piss out of Shawn, who has nowhere to go because of the lumberjacks out of the ring. Randy Savage quits, "No guts, no glory; Duggan's got the guts, and Shawn's got a yellow streak down his back". It's a pretty heated if basic match thus far, with the smaller Shawn Michaels bumping all over the place for Duggan. There's a couple of near falls, but Shawn isn't going down that easily. Eventually, Shawn gets thrown out of the ring first, and he tries to run away, but Mr. Perfect and Bob Backlund throw him back in for a further beating. Shawn finally manages to get back into the match after dodging a knee drop and smashing Duggan in the face with one of his boots. Duggan falls out and the heel lumberjacks toss him back in. Of course Duggan mounts a comeback though. Shawn tries to keep the advantage going, but Duggan can't be stopped completely, and now it's back in Duggan's favor.

We get a lot of shots of Yokozuna watching the match, and when Shawn gets knocked out of the ring, we have the Heel lumberjacks being very slow in throwing Shawn back in the ring. After the commercial break, Shawn is temporarily in control again, and we're getting to the ending of the match here. Bam Bam Bigelow hops up to the apron to jaw jack with Duggan. This gives Shawn enough time to attack Duggan from behind, and here we see Duggan thrown out to Yokozuna's direction. Yokozuna begins throwing fists at Duggan! The other lumberjacks begin to jaw jack with one another though! Duggan is completely out of it, but Perfect attacks Shawn from behind! And he we get... a disqualification? In a lumberjack match?

Well damn. What a flat ending for Monday Night RAW. But we've got a schmoz to end the show! All the lumberjacks are fighting one another! Jim Duggan grabs his 2x4 and chases everyone out of the ring! The show ends with Shawn Michaels still the WWF Intercontinental Champion, and Jim Duggan still refusing to do the job in 1993. Ah, wrestling; you gotta love backstage politics. Anyways, this was probably the best show in a long while. Arguably the best show since the Perfect/Flair Loser Leaves Town match. It was an easy watch, and at least three of the matches were decent enough to be worth the time. Not really a must-see, but if you're looking for a show with some decent wrestling, but little in the way of angles, this one's for you. DISCRETION
​

Bam Bam Bigelow d. Typhoon	*3/4​
Yokozuna (w/ Mr. Fuji) d. PJ Walker	SQUASH​
Mr. Perfect d. Mike Sharpe	**3/4​
Mr. Hughes (w/ Harvey Wippleman) d. The Cannonball Kid	SQUASH​
Shawn Michaels (c) d. Jim Duggan (Intercontinental Championship) [DQ]	*1/2​

 

[Death By Looch]

That shoulderblock/criss cross spot from Perfect/Sharpe...


And yea... Bam Bam v Earthquake is something else

 

[Death By Looch]

Also The Kid getting squashed by Mr. Hughes makes what happens next week so much grander

 

[Grimoire Lenin]

Episode 17

1-2-3!
(Three good segments! Ah, ah, ah!)

We're back fellas! Once again on the grind towards the never-ending pile of RAW episodes until I reach my destination of episode 1000, if I ever get there at all. That's right, I'm watching every episode of RAW so you don't have to. Today's episode is from May 17, 1993, at the Manhattan Center of New York City! It's the regular team of Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Bobby Heenan on commentary, and I'll be honest, until we get to Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler, it might legitimately be my favorite commentary team for RAW. Vince and Lawler on their own is... fine? But Heenan and Savage are just such a blast. Kicking things off is hyping up some of the matches on the card, including Razor Ramon's match. In the ring is familiar face Themis Klarides, everyone's favorite RAW girl and Shawn Michaels's on-again off-again girlfriend.

We have footage from last week where Shawn Michaels and Curt Hennig got into a fight. I still like the footage, and I dunno if I mentioned it in the last review, but I wouldn't be surprised if that was Howard Finkel's car they wrecked. Lord Alfred Hayes hypes up a surprise appearance tonight, but doesn't give the audience a hint at who it could be. Ominous, I know! Our first match of the night is The Smoking Gunns vs. the future Headbanger Thrasher: Glen Ruth, and Tony Vadja. The Gunns come out with those dollar store cap pistols that you know are just fake as hell and only make loud noises. The very first move of the match is... a school boy pin by Bart Gunn. Far be it from me to judge anyone on their talents, but Bart was never that great, and Billy needed 8 years before he was considered a competent wrestler. Randy Savage has a good burn in this segment on Bobby Heenan, stating, "the only exercise you get is jumping to conclusions" which cracks Vince McMahon up, because I've never heard him laugh quite like that before. The Gunns just batter these two fellas, because they're being built up like future tag stars. The finish sees an absolutely ugly looking back roll into a piledriver, and they got this win. It's a squash match, that's for sure.

Our next segment sees Shawn Michaels being interviewed by Vince McMahon, and Michaels has one of the absolutely ugliest get-ups I've seen him in. His 1993 fashion style is certainly something. The crowd starts chanting some classic homophobia, but Vince gets to the heart of the matter, asking Shawn why Curt Hennig attacked him last week. Shawn doesn't wanna answer that though, he wants to just say that he is a man of his word. He goes on a spiel about becoming the WWF Intercontinental Championship, defending it around the world, and successfully defending the title in the Lumberjack Match last week, and now... He took the best that Mr. Perfect had to offer, and still has the title. Vince McMahon calls Shawn a reluctant fighting champion, which Shawn takes offense to, he states that he will defend the title against anyone, anywhere, at anytime. Which causes a hooded stranger to come into the ring, who reveals himself to be... Marty Jannetty, who immediately demands Shawn put his money where his mouth is. Vince McMahon says that it's gonna happen tonight! Shawn is apoplectic, but still says he's a man of his word, despite being pissed. Heel midcard Shawn is so good simply because he always puts his foot in his mouth constantly.

So now we get to the most famous match from this show, it's Razor Ramon vs. Sean Waltman. It's debatably the greatest sub-three minute match of all time. Razor is confident and just pounds Waltman into dust. But that's the beauty of this match. Waltman got destroyed last week by Mr. Hughes, and he gets destroyed again by Scott Hall, but all it takes is just a few moves for him to shock the world. Razor hits all his major moves, the Fallaway slam, the Octopus Hold, and all that... but when Razor charges after Waltman in the corner, The Kid dodges out of the way! Razor bonks his head on the turnbuckle, and the Kid hits a moonsault splash onto Razor for the 1... 2... 3! Just like that though, this crowd fucking explodes. Razor Ramon is so upset, and there is not a single person in this crowd that is sitting down. Hall goes outside to complain to the announcing crew, while the crowd jeers him on. What an absolutely awesome match.

Our next match is Tatanka vs. Scott Taylor (the future Scotty 2 Hotty). Tatanka just bowls through Taylor tbh, there's not much to be said about this match, especially after the last match. Taylor gets a little bit of offense in on the match, but Tatanka does his usual Hulk Up and triple chop. Tatanka is still undefeated somehow in the WWF. He would go on to hold onto that for another several months. After the match is a Mean Gene Okerlund with a King of the Ring report. Of course Okerlund's gotta get a dig in on Razor Ramon losing to The Kid. Gene jokes that with Sensational Sherri joining him and Bobby Heenan on All-American Wrestling, that Heenan should look out for the Head scissors. It's at that point that I realize that despite everything being pre-taped, the Mean Gene Okerlund segments are actually shot at the same time as the show, because he talks directly to Vince and co.

Our next match is Kamala vs. Yokozuna, which makes sense since Yokozuna will be facing Hulk Hogan, so you gotta have him face off against a big guy to show Yokozuna's the most dangerous big guy. Kamala, despite being over with the crowd, really does just get killed by Yokozuna in this match here. The match at least begins by giving Kamala a hope spot as he staggers Yokozuna, not once, but twice, and gets plenty of offense in before Yokozuna finishes him off. If you are expecting some All Japan Hoss Match quality wrestling here, then you will be sorely disappointed. It's fine, as far as big man WWF wrestling goes. Two fat guys chopping each other and running into one another. Mr. Fuji costs Kamala the match though after tripping him on on the ropes, which gives Yokozuna the time to finish Kamala off.

We now arrive at our main event, Shawn Michaels defending his Intercontinental Championship against Marty Jannetty! How interesting is it that the Intercontinental Championship is actually defended for 3 weeks in a row. You almost never see that much anymore, you didn't see it much back then either, but you also don't today, hey! Marty's wrestling outfit makes it look like he's wearing pajamas, but it's serious business. They have an awesome back and forth match, one of the best technical matches of 1993 (probably behind Bret/Perfect at King of the Ring). Marty gets plenty of offense in, and Shawn is more than willing to sell for him (under threat of shoot getting his ass kicked by Curt Hennig). The crowd is hot for Marty Jannetty as they chant his name several times in the match. Shawn is like a deer in the headlights in the early match, as Marty continually counters his every move. Randy astutely points out, "Who knows Shawn Michaels better than Marty Jannetty?" There's a spot where Shawn Michaels does his flip upside down and upwards into the corner, but falls outside instead of back in the ring, afterwards, Shawn threatens to leave the match; he is of course stymied by Mr. Perfect, who has come out to make sure Shawn doesn't run away (and shoot make sure Shawn does the job). After the commercial break though, Shawn gains control in the match and begins to just beat down Marty with chokes, punches, and rest holds. Shawn misses a dropkick, which allows Marty to throw Shawn into the turnbuckle, and it's nearly a pinfall victory for the Rocker!

I'm not kidding when I say this is such a good match and Mr. Perfect's presence adds to it. Shawn can't runaway, he has to face his former tag partner no matter what, and Marty has been walking the dog on him in much of the match. Marty gets so many near-falls in the latter half. The ending comes when Shawn Michaels hits the Pre Chin Music (or the crescent kick/superkick for lame-ohs), and decides to take that moment to taunt Mr. Perfect. Perfect, seeing the referee is distracted, throws a towel at Shawn! Shawn staggers back, and Marty hits a roll up! 1... 2... 3! Marty Jannetty is the new Intercontinental Champion! It's two massive surprises in one night for the WWF, and what a match that was. I'll be honest, this show was a blast, in spite of some of the boring matches in-between. We got two all-time great segments, and a great overarching storyline of the night in Shawn talking shit and having to face his former tag partner. Highly recommended show. MUST SEE

​

The Smoking Gunns d. Glen Ruth & Tony Vadja	SQUASH​
The Kid d. Razor Ramon	***​
Tatanka d. Scott Taylor	SQUASH​
Yokozuna w/ Mr. Fuji d. Kamala	* 1/2​
Marty Jannetty d. Shawn Michaels (c) (Intercontinental Championship)	****​