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Well-Known Member
Dec 3, 2010
Hell's Club
Global Wrestling Federation: Best Of USWA Part I

“Dr. Death” Steve Williams & “Bam Bam” Terry Gordy vs. Steven Dane & Khris Germany
The opening minutes were basically a quash showcase match, with Terry and Steve out wrestling the Khris guy with amateur moves with the occasional high impact slam. Once Dane got in, he was able to do a few things that didn’t last long at all but he faired way better than his tag partner. Funny moment Dane would hit a dropkick but as soon as he tagged out Gordy beat the shit out of the Germany guy with knees before pinning him :lmao

“Gorgeous” Gary Young (w/Cactus Jack Manson) vs. Ed Robinson
More squash action with Gary working the arm, as some guy walks around ringside his name is Scotty the Body :lmao Gary just proceeds to forget about the arm and begins just beating up this bum. Gary doesn’t care about pins all he does it moves just to show off. Finally he ends it with a splash off the top after a airplane spin into a DVD :lmao

Grab For The Green Battle Royal
One Man Gang gets his own entrance as the ring is filled with all jobbers minus Gary and Cactus. I should mention the 10 thousand dollars are on a pole :lmao RUSSO IS THAT YOU! Garry young doesn’t care about fighting at all as all he does it try to climb the pool like a stripper. I think he spent the entire match pretty much around the pole. Oh Bill Dundee is in this, he has great babyface fire as he fights off Cactus and One Man to the crowds delight. The finish of the match happened when Garry and some jobber are fighting on the pole and Garry slams his head into it causing the money to fall. Well, Cactus just picks it up or the win…………But wait, the announcers don’t think that right so when we comeback from commercial the bell sounds and the match it restarted. Finally people start going over the top, two jobbers and Cactus followed by the dog of war :lmao and some other bum. Next is Steven Dane along with Kevin Dillinger are gone as all that left are Gary Young, One Man Gang and Superstar Bill Dundee. One man and Gary waste no time double teaming them as Gary holds off the two so One man can climb the poll :lmao well that doesn’t work as One man is fat and slow so the babyface throw Gary over the top for the elimination. They turn their attention to one man tying him up. As Travis goes to throw him out one man turns the tide and eliminates him. Last two are Bill Dundee and One Man Gang in a Davis vs. Goliath match. Dundee uses his quickness and the crowd energy to stick and move until grabs a hold of him. I love that Dundee did whatever he could which included a headbutt to the dick along with raking he eyes. So pinfalls count too, so he finally gets him down with a crossbody and a couple of forearms. Dundee uses his speed to run up the pole and grab the cash. But when he comes down Eddie Gilbert decks him and gives the cash to the One Man Gang :lmao the ref didn’t see as he was distracted so One man pins him for the win :lmao

Jeff GAYLORD vs. Jimmy James
Gaylord is ripped so I guess his gimmick is ripped because he’s fresh out the joint. This sucked. GAYLORD uses wrestling 101 tactics, as he fakes getting his hair pulled before doing it to his opponent. Oh he does more taunts then moves. He basically toys with James until he’s seen enough and ends it with a diving elbow off the top and some shitty looking pin as he looks like he’s about to apply the sharpshooter but grabs the arm for a pin :lmao FUCKIN’ GAYLORD

Southern Heavyweight Championship: “Hot Suff” Eddie Gilbert vs. Jeff Jarrett
Man Jeff has never been this over ever :lmao Jeff does some amazing babyface fire early but was made so much better by Gilberts bumping and selling of blows :lmao his facial expression after a right hand is hilarious. Gilbert tries to target the arm but as the “Go Jeff Go” chants get louder he loses focus allowing Jeff to turn the tables on him. Jeff begins to work the arm, that gets no sold so Jeff continues to work it because why the fuck not. In the armbar Gilbert screams he’s cheating :lmao and he’s trying to break my arm that’s not fair :lmao as we return from a commercial Gilbert is in control and working the ankle of Jeff, with no explanation. I love that Jeff never forgot about the arm and whenever he saw the opening he would attack it like a shark that smells blood. This has gone on for like 10 minutes and it’s basically I’ll work the arm, then you work my leg and we’ll go back and forth. Gilbert locks in the figure four as he unties Jeff boot and uses it somehow for momentum whenever Jeff tries to roll it over. They do that twice but on the third Jeff gets him over but they roll into the ropes. Jeff begins throwing everything type of flying pin at him but can only get two as they run into one another for the double knockdown. Double right hands lead to knockdowns, double clothesline leads to another double knockdown. Ref gets bumped and Jeff hits a dropkick off the middle rope but the ref is still down. As Jeff tries to revive the ref Gilbert pulls out a chain, Gilbert misses the right hand and Jeff rolls him up for the three and the win. Post-Match: Jeff picks up the chain and levels Gilbert with it and covers for the pin. SO I guess that 3 count was a two then :lmao well that officially gives Jeff the win. Post-Match: Gilbert tells the ref Jeff has a chain in his pants and the ref forces Jeff back in to check his dick. The ref then reverses the call and Gilbert gets the title back HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ***

“Stunning” Steve Austin, Dog Of War, Calif. Stud vs. Matt Borne, Billie Jo Travis & Jeff Jarrett
This was good time, Young GOD Stunning Steve Austin bumps like a king as he outshines everyone. The babyfaces isolate Austin cutting off the ring while working the arm that goes nowhere fast. The face team pretty much cleans house and dominate. But after Travis goes face first into the top turn buckle that allows the heels to cheat, and work over him. They never really pick a body part to work instead just beat him down and wear him out. After a sweet right hand, Jeff gets the hot tag and cleans house and finishes off the Dog with a crossbody off the top.

“Stunning” Steve Austin & Calif Stud vs. Ed Robinson & Khris Germany
This was another showcase for Steve and Stud, the work the arm of Robinson. They hit this hilarious double team with Stud having Robinson in a press slam and Austin coming off the top adding extra force in shoving him down for two. Khris gets tagged in and doesn’t do a single thing either; they proceed to work on him slamming him on the wood floor. Once rolled in they take turns working the arm :lmao not the back that was slammed on the wood floor but the arm, okay. JESUS! Okay they beat on them for a couple more minutes and end it with a double shoulder tackle for the win. WAY, WAY TOO LONG LIKE THIS WAS 7-8 MINUTES OF JUST BEATING TWO JOBBERS DOWN, AND IT WASN’T DONE TO MAKE THE FACE TEAM LOOK LIKE THEY HAD HEART AND THE HEEL TEAM DIDN’T HAVE THE AGGRESSION TO MAKE THIS LOOK GOOD. INFACT I WOULD SAY IT MADE THEM LOOK BAD AS IT TOOK THEM THAT LONG TO BEAT TWO GUYS THAT HAD BASICALLY NO OFFENSE.

Awesome Kong vs. Frogman La Blanc & Tommy Knight
HOLY SHIT! WHO COMES UP WITH THESE NAMES???? Sadly Kong isn’t the female black Kong instead he’s this huge fat 600lb man with a mask :lmao And Frogman, isn’t even a Frog gimmick instead he’s just a jobber in green :lmoa AWFUL match as Kong looks like he had more trouble pulling up his pant then he did with the jobbers. His only offense were clotheslines and not the running clotheslines or the whip ones, these are the guy is standing right in front so the jobbers just back peddle :lmao Double DDT sets up a slam and a splash ends this :lmao

USWA World Championship: Terry Funk vs. Jerry Lawler
Finally something watchable, before the match Funk is on the mic talking shit to Lawler about how tough he is and how he can beat Lawler and any 5 fans all at once. Funk then leaves ringside and begins to challenge fans :lmao he begins threatening them along with the camera man :lmao they lock up with this amazing intense hate filled tie-up and when they get to the ropes both men begin swinging wildly at one another. Funk begins to beat the shit out of Lawler with big right hands, as they go to the floor Funk drops Lawler on his head with a DDT onto the wood floor. Funk continues the assault as he tries to choke him with the camera cord. Funk picks up a chair and throws it into the ring as it almost hits the ref :lmao that allows Lawler to fight his way back with a DDT into the chair. Funk begins to slither and crawl out to the floor. They continue to brawl on the floor, as Funk does his amazing punch drunk stuff he falls through the ropes onto the table at ringside so Lawler kicks him in the dick :lmao Out of desperation Funk tries to throw a chair but it hits him in the head. Lawler now begins to use the wires to choke Funk. Funk’s bumping is amazing in this, as he dies on everything. He tries to use a wood board but Lawler blocks and uses it on him which makes a great sound. Fuck refuses to give up and applies the sleeper as on last desperation. AMAZING MOMENT WITH Lawler arm dropping the ref checks on him and when he hand drops for two Funk doesn’t believe it so he slaps the ref :lmao Chin breaker breaks the hold and Lawler connects with the pilerdrive which is allowed in Texas, a 2nd connects and Lawler breaks the cover. He’s not done and hits a 3rd. But he was too close to the ropes and Funk puts his whole leg on the rope. Funk begins to choke Lawler with tape and now the ref wants to break it up, so Funk being Fuck beats the shit out of him for a DQ :lmao Amazing brawl with a shitty ending. ***1/4

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