The Exorcism Of Jay McRae
Father Mcrae, or is it Jay Mcrae?
Insanity:
“Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.â€
It’s a black thunderous night, the cracks of lightning spark the sky up for a moment, before fading into the background, kinda like Jay McRae’s hairline. The rain is pelting down hard on the stone cobble lined street with intensity. The trees whistle with each passing of the wind kinda like throwing a hotdog down Juliet Brooks poontang canals, all you hear is echos. We see a truck off in the distance, the truck is pulling up to this old house. Rickety metal fence covers the yard, as another strike of thunder lights up the sky. We see a man step out of the truck, in all black with an umbrella, bag in tow, as he rushes up to the door, and we see a door knocker, shaped like Sean Cutters balls. The man looks perplexed at the item hanging from a loop, unsure of how the hell someone did that, or even why.
“Yes, my presence is needed here for sure.â€
The man sits his bag down, and reaches into the bag, and pulls this bottle out, and opens it, throwing water on this door knocker, it appears to be holy water. The man begins a chant, out loud, but still audible even with the wind.
“I command you, leave this place you vile demon, for laying with thy man and making testicular molds of another man, when it is it a sin to fondle another man. Be gone, this man shall never be tormented by your deep need to fondle the boss.â€
The man puts his holy water away, and just loudly knocks on the door. No answer can be heard, he knocks even louder. Someone can be heard saying, coming. The person opens the door to reveal, what appears to be a Sean Cutter lookalike. Except, he’s fatter, drunker, stupider, OLDER, slob version of the man. I guess The Chosen One is really able to predict the future. You’re gonna be a fat drunk hobbit hoarding confused exiled catholics from California that looks like they were rejected character ideas for Wrong Turn. Just saying. The man offers the priest to come in. The man comes in, sits his bag down, and removes his hood to reveal The Chosen One. His hair flowing down his back, and his face paint obviously not being worn. The Chosen One has on a black robe with a white collar. The man seems to live rather lavishly, expensive furnishing. Wonder how he obtained it. A LOUD screech can be heard coming from upstairs, as they both jerk their head up. The look of concern on Steve Sanders face is serious.
“How is he...?â€
“Not doing so well, he keeps on doing a lot of strange things, like talking to this Father Mcrae guy, who isn’t there, and screaming. Wetting himself, wearing blouses of his dead mother, obsessing over claims there is a beast within, and starts laughing in a high pitched girly voice. I don’t understand it. It’s like, he knew you was coming. I’m not sure what’s wrong here Priest. I mean, what do you think?â€
“Well, sir, I got a question. Who in the green hell is those set of balls out there on the door knocker? I mean for christ’s sake they are the size of two shriveled up raisins that has been sitting out in the sun for three days.â€
“Umm, those are mine, umm, he somehow made a mold out of my balls while I was sleeping and put them out there.â€
“You should go see a doctor about that. I mean how are you with Ms. Cutter with grapefruits the size of pistachios? I mean geez, Krystal can rub them between her fingers and they’d pop like pimples! You should be ashamed of yourself Sean.â€
“But, sir, I can’t help the fact-â€
“Not another word. We got more pressing matters than your sexual reproductive organs, or lack thereof. We have a ratings killer upstairs, stinking up the joint. It smells like hog balls and cow shit in here. My god, why!?â€
“Well, he hasn’t bathed in months. Water seems to make him rather violent. So, I left him in his room and let him be. This Father McRae has been the only person he has had contact with in months.â€
“Well, I know what the issue may be Sean, and The Chosen One can fix this situation.â€
“What Priest, what is it?â€
“He’s suffering from ineffective gimmick creativity. This stems from a variety of things. It could be bad advice, poor promo ability, being a confused person unsure of the fact that he thinks in his
Dissociative identity disorder mind that said gimmick is really creative when actually it sucks and needs to be pulled. Quickly. It zaps the ratings and quite frankly makes him belong as a curtain jerker. Sounds like we may need to perform an Exorcism. You have a phone, I have to call The Vatican of Intelligent Wrestling and tell them to send down here another priest, do you have a phone sir?â€
“Why, yes I do. It’s right over here.â€
The old fat, smelly version of Sean Cutter points to the phone. Looking like expired ham hocks from the kitchen of Super Kidd OJ. As The Chosen One is making his way to the phone, a loud girly screech is heard coming from upstairs! “
Weeks have gone by and it seems that I am not quite myself, a beast within seeks retribution, some sort of reckoning he feels I must live out.†The Chosen One looks on in horror, like please stop it, you're sounding like an horrible Kevin The Bull promo. The Chosen One picks up the phone, and dials the vatican’s number. The Chosen One is seen conversing with the Vatican, before hanging up. He walks back over to Sean Cutter, the lookalike.
“I’m gonna go up and have a look at him, I want you to stay here...and whatever you do, don’t open this door for whatever reason. I’m warning you, you may hear things that would frighten the normal man, or fan. This isn’t good promo work. I mean, this demon needs to see The Ghostface Of Prophet, just like Halfbreed did. He needs to understand that he just can’t be up there, making up crazy stuff and showing it off to the world. He is opening a paradox by keeping this going.â€
“Ok Priest.â€
“Just call me The Ghostface Of Prophet. I am more than a Priest, see a Priest is what Father McRae is, sick and twisted inside Jay McRae’s mind. But what you gotta understand, this is apart of his creative psyche, and he think’s it is such a grand gimmick when it’s as bad as having to sit through another Super Kidd OJ promo. So, don’t worry perhaps The Ghostface can expel this demon.â€
With that being said, The Chosen One spins on his pivot, and grabs the banister, as he hears more of Father McRae’s horrible entertainment spewing from the room upstairs. This baffles The Chosen One, I mean I’ve seen a lot of horrible characters over the years. Super Kid OJ, Captain Pie, “The Angelic Diablo†Trent Helms, DMX, Gerg, Pyro, and more notorious than them all, has to be this Jay McRae/Father McRae thing. It’s like the Blue cousin of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. This is as worse as watching Beetlejuice from Howard Stern herd cattle. This is worst than the AOG gimmick and they were pretty bad. So bad they got handed their pink slips on the double. The Chosen One is closing in closer to the door, there seems to be smoke billowing from under the door. The Chosen One opens the door, and the scene is downright, disgusting. The McRae person is tied down to the bed, and partially sat up, staring hard, as The Chosen One inches in slowly, with his bag in tow, McRae starts spitting lines out!
View attachment 983
“Oh...fuck this..!â€
The Chosen One tries to run outta the door, but with Father McRae’s horrible gimmick abilities slam the door shut before he can leave. The Chosen One just turns around to see McRae chubby fat face just smiling. The Chosen One regains his resolve, and walks around the bed...
“
It was him who made me lose to Jason Randall, he did it as punishment…â€
The Chosen One wasted no time, and quickly placed the good book of Chosen upon his head, and held it there, as McRae struggled, shaking his head back and forth, NOOOOOOO! The Chosen One hasn’t even had a chance to put his garments on, and realizes he is in for a long time night trying to rid the PWF of this entity that is killing the ratings, and forcing people to watch Jersey Shore instead.
“Let us pray...The people of PWF wish to be washed away of this awful gimmick, for it has caused alot of people pain, and suffering, as I quote the holy ghost of gimmicks has been brought forth to rid you of this crappy, unrelenting parasite of an character, so you can be good and reach your full potential as an mid carder tops, because that is your will and destiny. Now be gone Father McRae!â€
The storm rages on outside, as the Father McRae gimmick fights on, not willing to give up so easily, The Chosen One begins throwing the holy water on it again, as it has no effect. The Chosen One begins getting laughed at, as he begins to shake his head, and just pulls out a vial of citalopram and gives some too him, hoping this will rest him for awhile, his promos and gimmick though, dunno what we can do for them. The Chosen throws off the priest outfit, and looks directly as if a camera is there.
“Jay McRae, Enforcer, Father McRae, I see, it must be the three faces of the most awful piece of crap I ever seen! You walked around here for the last couple months acting like a watered down version of Kevin The Bull, a copycat of Akio and out of them you have been downright awful at it. The Chosen One has been taken out by Halfbreed, but I came back and took him down. Just like I plan to do to each and every single member of The Establishment. The only thing you added was a fruity priest who runs around talking about taking over you and purifying people. Well, the last time I checked anyone who wanted to be purified hollered at Prince or Father Joel from that infomercial! Over there at Cemeteries and shit looking like a fat version of Warren Jeffs. But, coming from Riverside I can see how you would get the religious overtone, with a city full of them, it must have happened one day at an Seventh Day Baptist church, you were running around with your goofy looking ass outfit on, trying to fit in but everyone still notices the fact you look like you came from Louisville, Kentucky! You Sandlot reject! The priest seen that Little Jay was being harassed by other kids for being whiter than a chicken’s ass, and the Priest Henry said come here Little Jay, no needs to worry, I will make you my personal alter boy.â€
The Chosen One holding his hand out, as the fat lookalike behind him starts flicking tongue out like he wants some priest anus! The Chosen One laughs and goes back to looking ahead, like he plans to do, through the entire Establishment, and with one thing in mind, the Pulse Wrestling Federation Undisputed Championship.
“He took real good care of you. Play with your anus and make sure you were a good boy. You grew up, with that image planted in your head. You never recovered from those embarrassing moments. The Chosen One can understand, you were a fat hillbilly outcast on the west coast living the dream, and no one liked you cuz every summer you cooked like an sunny side up egg! Well, The Chosen One is here to remove you from your past. And, welcome you to The Sanders Zone, where we’ll dust off the bible, open to Revelations 16:16 and where they say Alpha and Omega come forth to cause hell fire and brimstone, the chapter will be rewritten in the book of Chosen where it has me sticking my size eleven so far up your country bumpkin ass that Father McRae is gonna be embarrassed he put his penis anywhere near your ladyparts! At the end of the day Enforcer, I am not Kevin The Bull. I am not Age Of Grandeur, I am “The Chosen One†Steve Sanders, without a doubt in my mind, I got more talent in my left ball sack than you do in your promos, with the help of god during the seven days, where he created the land, the water, trees, and rested on the seventh day, even with the help of the
Psalm 23:1 T
he LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want to get my ass kicked by The Chosen One, after the smoke clears, Adam eats the forbidden fruit, the devil blows fire out his ass, The Chosen One is still gonna be standing over top your religious ass as The Chosen One.
The Scene Fades To Black....
[MENTION=84]kevin the bull[/MENTION]
You know I will