General Chit-Chat Thread: A New Beginning

[Barry Poppins]

I love that so many kingdoms from Medieval to modern Europe failed to comprehend the basics of Roman imperialism to the point where whenever they conquered territory they would just tax the shit out of everyone and wonder why conquered people hated the shit out of them

 

[Barry Poppins]

Meanwhile Romans be like "Hi there. We're in charge now. Your gods are our gods too, we won't enslave you all, you'll all be welcome to our hospitality and wonders of government and engineering, just don't take light of our kindness or we will kill you all. Praise Caesar and give us resources please!"

 

[Barry Poppins]

You got the British empire being like "We are bringing civilization to these Savage lands, and in return you will get no rights, all your resources are ours, no, you don't get to vote, and don't even think of complaining or we'll disappear you."

 

[Barry Poppins]

The more I think about it tho the more I think the Migration Period is my favorite time Period even if it means the Roman Empire is on death's door for another 1000 years.

 

[Barry Poppins]

Like I would love a whole HBO show dedicated to the period where you got the antics of Clovis, Odoacer, Romulus Augustulus, and Julius Nepos in a 3-way civil war, the Britons vs. The Anglo-Saxons leading to the Arthurian mythos, the Eastern Empire under Justinian trying desperately to take back the West, getting so close to it, but then Khosrau Anushirawan of the Sassanids being a total troll, you get the Romans and Sassanids beating each other into a stalemate until Muhammad and the Rashidun Caliphate comes and yoinks most of the Levant, Iran, and Africa. Charles Martel then stops the Muslims, and finally ending with the crowning of Charlemagne as the series finale.

 

[Barry Poppins]

But instead of like a historical drama it's instead a comedy drama, so all the historical characters are just funnier versions of themselves

 

[Barry Poppins]

I'm imagining a scene where Zeno (portrayed by Clint Eastwood as a curmudgeonly no-nonsense guy who just wants to rule in peace) is just casually having dinner with his family and then a soldier hands him a dispatch from Odoacer that just reads, "Hey Z, it's Odo, I captured Italy in your name from the pretender Augustulus! I hope I did you proud!" And Zeno's face is that classic Eastwood face of "what the fuck?"

 

[Samoa Looch]

we saved the submarines and stopped the Germans in world war 2

Thank you for your service.

 

[Barry Poppins]

I feel like Chris would be one of the few people here who would appreciate the art I've got here lmao

 

[Samoa Looch]

But instead of like a historical drama it's instead a comedy drama, so all the historical characters are just funnier versions of themselves

 

[Barry Poppins]

A bit yes but far less Pythonesque lol

 

[Samoa Looch]

I feel like Chris would be one of the few people here who would appreciate the art I've got here lmao

I'm no expert, but me too

 

[Samoa Looch]

A bit yes but far less Pythonesque lol

Of course. If a studio would do such a thing nowadays though... I dunno if I'd wanna watch it. I feel like they'd fuck on it.

 

[Barry Poppins]

Of course. If a studio would do such a thing nowadays though... I dunno if I'd wanna watch it. I feel like they'd fuck on it.

It'd never be done right nowadays.

 

[Chris]

I feel like Chris would be one of the few people here who would appreciate the art I've got here lmao

I see the vision