While speaking on the
Drinks With Johnny podcast, Malakai Black talked about his battle with depression and how it would benefit him creatively. Black admitted that he once thought Black would lose his pro wrestling career if he wasn’t depressed.
“There was a time in my life where I thought that I was going to lose my wrestling career because I thought if I wasn’t sad or if I wasn’t depressed, I wouldn’t have any fuel to create. I wouldn’t have any fuel to make anything of myself and I would lose all the stuff that I had worked for. So, all this pain and anguish, and I hate using those words, they sound so edgy, but it’s not fun to have this really unhealthy mindset where you’ve convinced yourself that you can only be good if your absolutely f**king horrible and you destroy shit and you deliberately get involved with people you know are not good for you.
You get involved with people that will never understand you, are not on the same wavelength as you and you know are going to be bad for you so you deliberately stay in these situations and then halfway through it you get this weird, ‘What the f**k am I doing’ and this strange guilt trip and you’re trying to yank yourself out of it and that turns into shit. Whatever way you were trying to spin the bottle, it all ends in the same manner. You created this maze for yourself mentally that you can’t escape. You feel awful all the time. You feel negative all the time, but you don’t want to because now you’ve reached the point in your life where you’re over it. I remember one of my friends once told me the definition of hate is to be obsessed with something until the day you die. I was like, ‘I don’t want that. I don’t want to carry that with me.'”
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