KDS:
Starting promo off with a typo is a choice!
Idk if I'd take any presentation point away from it but Im not a big fan of different image sizes in promos and a lack of consistency in the sort of images presented. Felt like any random image off google was grabbed, which isn't necessarily bad but resizing it or trying to find something that works consistently would be better imo and would help add to presentation.
I think KDS's mission statement being to erase Sully from X record would actually be a fun angle. Although I do believe the amount of reigns feels kinda like a weird goal for a wrestler to pursue versus combined days + length of reign. The reign counts are mentioned a few times throughout the promo, and obviously depends on perspective. You think decent about reigns counts but from my end reign counts just are a big "this is the amount of times Ive lost the belt" and isnt something to be praised or to try and achieve. Thinking in particular also about the shots at Randall not having won a lot of X title reigns.
I do think the X obsession would be a strong goal to anchor KDS around long term and would be a cool aspect of the X title going forward depending on how long it lasts with whichever champion always have to be concerned about KDS as a factor.
Feel bad for the massage therapist whose got Celestia simultaneously pooping & orgasming but then again I guess some people might be into that.
Feeling light headed at the kidnapping truck stop good idea.
Kleio shouldve had a fingerprint or face scan lock. Silly.
The font change for the trip scene is a good idea. Seen a lot of tripping scenes in my efedding days, but dont think many people have gone that route.
Never seen a frog run before, funny imagery. I'll chalk it up to the peyote.
"I am not Saint Sully. I don't give a damn about records." That kills my KDS X title pursuit hype. Was a bit disappointed to see KDS quickly get over her ambitions for records.
I think the ending monologue & the abrupt closure probably could've used a bit more work. A lot of the shots taken at the villagers felt too straightforward or overdone (as someone who faced Logan Darwin recently, even I felt that the shots I was taking was probably too worn out and most of them come up here). I think the Witch Trial idea and the rant itself were good conceptually, I'm just iffy on feeling like the delivery itself should've tried to find a way to say something new or a bit more differently perhaps? Ultimately, this was meant to be the highlight of the promo and I didnt feel like the zingers lived up to it. Certainly it would do decent from a QoC standpoint in terms of addressing tournament/match-ups, but I also think it might have somewhat of a ceiling in the quality of that addressing. And as usual, in these sort of big multiman matches, you're dealing with 10-20 other people who may also be ranting/monologue about other characters flaws, so saying things other people are probably also saying could hurt you. If you're gonna go that direction, you need to come up with more interesting commentary that feels different from the rest of the pack.
Another thought, not necessarily a criticism but more an observation. Found it a bit interesting that while the throwback setting did touch on gender dynamics, there was no touching of racial dynamics (although Kleio is somewhat white passing, in that time I think it'd stand out as much as her gender?)
Solid promo, I think the Witch Trial was a good creative idea, and theres some cool presentation elements here, especially with the peyote font change. I think if there was some proofreading & more consistency/thoughts put into the images, this couldve been a 5 in that aspect.
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Shawn Summers:
Starting a promo with an AEW arena is certainly a choice. -5 QOC for real world wrestling reference tbh.
Interesting start the promo off with a discussion on Summers feelings regarding the world sort of hating him and how he genuinely feels about it. Even in this sort of internal description, it's hard to buy into his woe is me act in terms of having no one but I do think you set this up well for it being expanded upon in the rest of the promo and having an impact in how he behaves. Although he makes it a point to hide his identity in town, it's also clear that he's self-sabotaging these efforts in his fear of being alone and thats what gets him into his tough spot in the station later on.
I did buy into his genuine appreciation for the TV title and his reluctance to admit it in a public format. And if I were an opponent, it's certainly something I'd try to exploit for story purposes and overall is something I'd like to see fleshed out in whatever feud Summers is involved in re:titles. In fact, his pursuit of X and a theoretical belt collector gimmick would work great with Summers using these as pseudo-friends since he keeps pushing everyone else away.
This is only something I looked up because it was brought up in the promo but Sweetwater Texas actually has a 50% hispanic population. Just as much hispanics as whites. Irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, I guess. But I was curious.
Think there was a lot of interesting introspection throughout this promo. Was a real good balance between focusing on Tommy Bedlam in terms of having Shawn Summers visit his hometown to see what he could dig up, something he probably does often with his opponents, while also drawing out a lot of development for Shawn Summers. Would do great in QoC straight up just in terms of having the focus on Bedlam, but you also have a lot of solid character work to add to it.
Summers keeping himself busy, going so far as to tail a guy, all felt more like he was trying to avoid overthinking his own circumstances as much as it was trying to find dirt on Tommy. The situation blowing out of proportion for Summers and Summers panicking by the time he got into the police station were good in terms of making Summers feel vulnerable & continuing that trend of delving into his insecurities. You make a point of mentioning that this particular situation of vulnerability (the police station bit) is not one Summers has found himself often in. I'll take your word for it as I havent read a ton of Summers promos in the past year, I think the impact of that bit from a grading perspective would depend on how legitimate the uniqueness of this vulnerability is in the grand scheme of the other promos you've done. As in, if similar circumstances came up again, it'd have a bit less impact.
I also liked that Summers being a very aware/observational guy was something that was set up from the very start of the promo and carried out throughout. He's great at seeing social cues, for the most part, great at navigating conversations. Lots of good subtle character work.
The sherriff was a super cool character and a great shadow to Shawn Summers. The two seemed very alike in terms of being very pragmatic, their moral views on crime & vigilantism (FTR, I am on the side of Tommy Bedlam having done nothing wrong and the sherriff can eat shit). Would easily say the sherriff stole the show for this one and was the most gripping part of the promo though a bit sad he's probably a one off (not sure if he pops up in recent Bedlam promos or not).
I think as usual you kinda let yourself down in the presentation department in terms of proofreading, but also not a fan of the image use. I think if images are used there's gotta be more intentionality to it, needs to feel like it enhances the presentation. The random sizes and styles don't work too well for me. I'd also have probably not bothered putting the bulk of the promo in a spoiler tag (though I wouldn't take any presentation points away for that). Given how close the match ultimately was, it would've been a shame if what had cost you the match was presentation.
Good character focused promo overall and I think clear enough evidence that there's more to Summers than the usual controversy that swirls around him. Which one could either use to point out that Summers can work without the more controversial elements, as much as one can use as proof that people are overstating those controversial elements and underappreciating the character work happening.
Presentation aside, the straightforward narrative does put a ceiling on creativity. I know you're big on wanting to figure out what you specifically need to improve so I do feel this review will probably feel a bit disssatisfying in that regard. It's tough to say really because your promos tend to be at the level where they're perfectly solid (circling low 30-32 grades) and in that grade range you either need to come up with a significant character progression moment or a particularly creative idea, and to iron out presentation. It's essentially at that area where you need to think of a way to make a promo stand out. And I know people hate that statement because there's a feeling like you need to go over the top creatively or whatever, but I do think that what separates a good promo from a great one is that a great one will find a way to be memorable and personally that's sort of the perspective I go into when I write promos against bigger opponents. What makes this promo different than the other promos I've/other people have done? Am I doing/saying something different?
