FWA 'the Grand March' weekend || Card & Discussion Thread.

[SupineSnake]

This card contains spoilers for Fallout 027. Read that first.​

The Fantasy Wrestling Alliance
proudly presents
THE GRAND MARCH WEEKEND.

- - including - -

the KING OF THE DEATHMATCH tournament.
Friday 7th & Saturday 8th April, 2023.
from an undisclosed location in the USA.

The King of the Deathmatch returns for its second instalment, with this edition to take place on American soil in an undisclosed location, somewhere in the middle of an unnamed desert. The Crown of Thorns, won last year by Thomas West, will again be up for grabs, and this year as many as twenty participants are rumoured to be lining up in the starter’s blocks, although the exact number - like most other details about the tournament - are currently being kept under wraps. What was announced last week was that the tournament will be split up into two shows, with Friday’s ‘Stage One’ featuring round one singles matches, whilst Saturday’s ‘Stage Two’ will host the later rounds of the tournament.

We also know some, if not all, of the competitors that will compete for the Crown of Thorns… and, of course, the additional incentive of a chance to dethrone Alyster Black and become the new FWA X Champion. Black Jesus very recently broke the record for the longest ever reign with that belt, and will have held it for five hundred and eighteen days by the time he enters KODM2, and faces perhaps his toughest challenge yet. Black is no stranger to tournaments, having already defended his belt once as part of the annual X4 at Back in Business, but this expanded, four-round tournament is an entirely different prospect.

Only three of the participants challenging Black have experience of the King of the Deathmatch tournament, namely XYZ, Anzu Kurosawa, and Kleio De Santos. Only the last of these progressed further than the first round of the 2022 edition, with KDS making it all the way to the final in a star-making performance before finally succumbing to Thomas West. She’ll hope to go one step further this year, and her motivation was shown last week on Fallout 027 when she - teaming with Trixie Bordeaux - overcame the team of Jason Randall and long-time rival XYZ.

Speaking of X, he has multiple foes surrounding him this tournament, with Kleio joined by Death Walker, who has made a point of targetting XYZ in the run up to this tournament. Death Walker and Trixie Bordeaux are the only competitors going into this tournament with two wins in the KODM previews we’ve seen on recent episodes of FWA television, most recently in an impressive triple threat victory over Sawyer Xavier and Madison Gray. Elsewhere, weaselperson’s win over KODM entrant Logan Darwin on Fallout 027 prompted him to bark his own declaration for the tournament, and Reagan Cole will no doubt have been honing his deathmatch skills through his association with Jeffry Mason.

2023’s King of the Deathmatch is shaping up to be even bigger and ever better than last year’s: two nights of action, twenty competitors, and both the Crown of Thorns and the FWA X Championship on the line. Join Anzu Kurosawa and Thomas West at the booth on the 7th and 8th April, live and exclusively on the WCNetwork.

Participants:
1. Alyster Black (c).
2. Trixie Bordeaux.
3. Reagan Cole.
4. Kleio De Santos.
5. Logan Darwin.
6. Madison Gray.
7. Anzu Kurosawa.
8. Jason Randall.
9. Death Walker.
10. weaselperson.
11. Sawyer Xavier.
12. XYZ.
+ eight mystery participants!

Format:
Friday 7th April - Stage One (ft. first round singles matches).
Saturday 8th April - Stage Two (ft. second round singles/triple threat matches, semi-finals and final).

Sunday 9th April, 2023.
LIVE! from the United Center in Chicago, Illinois, USA.

FIRST MATCH - 1/30.
Eternal (Keres and Princess Nova) vs. Lizzie Rose and Joe Burr.
Tag Team Match.
Match Writer: BattleTank.​

Eternal made their tag team debut as part of the tag team scramble match on Meltdown XXVI after weeks of build through vignettes introducing us to Princess Nova and Keres as well as their TORN universe. Nova had, of course, debuted previously in the FWA during the FWA World Championship battle royale on Metldown XXII, and then picked up her first win in a four-way ladder match at Back in Town. Nova also impressed in the scramble match, placing in third as an individual behind Alyster Black and the eventual final survivor in Jeremy Best. Although Eternal were unsuccessful in their attempts to secure number one contendership for the FWA World Tag Team Championships, they marked themselves out as exciting newcomers, and ones to be watched, in the tag division.

Throughout the twenty sixth and seventh cycles of Fallout and Meltdown, we’ve seen Eternal target Lizzie Rose in a sequence of often surreal interludes, introducing Rose to the TORN universe and the mysterious ‘FYOG’. The precise objectives of Keres and Princess Nova remain unknown, though it’s clear that ‘Hollywood’ Joe Burr - long time friend and occasional tag team partner of Rose - thinks caution and resistance to be the best response. This culminated in Hollywood’s challenge to Eternal following their victory over Doug and Dan LuPone of the Lumberjacks on Fallout 027, setting up this tag team opening contest at the Grand March.

​

SECOND MATCH - 1/30.
Mike Parr vs. Jackson Fenix.
Singles Match. #1 Contender for the FWA North American Championship.
Match Writer: Jimmy.​

Both men in this singles match-up are currently on a two-match winning streak, leading to the arrangement of this contest that will decide the challenger for the FWA North American Championship at Back in Business XVII (depending on the results of the Carnal Contendership). Jackson Fenix may have lost in tag team competition in that time, but these team defeats are book-ended by a triple threat win over Blair Ravenwood and Dan LuPone, as well as Meltdown XXVII’s one-on-one triumph over Trevor Walker. It is believed that these two victories, along with the nature of the Undisputed Alliance’s losses to the Connection, which were invariably due to nefarious Nephew skullduggery, contributed to Fenix being awarded this huge singles opportunity at the Grand March.

Mike Parr, meanwhile, recently returned to FWA action on Fallout 025 and immediately targeted old stable-mate Kayden Knox, attacking him backstage and then defeating him at the Back in Town pay-per-view. The Prodigy followed up with a win against Reagan Cole on Meltdown XXVI, before it was announced that he would be taking a week off competition in the XXVII/027 cycle. Parr appeared on Fallout, though, declaring himself open to all comers for the Grand March, putting to bed rumours that he might not compete until the Carnal Contendership match. Later on Saturday, the FWA press team announced that Mike Parr had subsequently been offered this match by Jon Russnow. No name is more synonymous with the North American Championship than Mike Parr, who has the record for the most reigns (at four) and the longest reign (at four hundred and fifty four). Only one record relating to that title remains for the Prodgy: he is currently thirty seven days short of WOLF’s record six hundred and two days of combined reigns with the belt. Perhaps Parr sees this match as the pathway to yet another accolade in a glittering FWA career.

​

THIRD MATCH - 1/10.
Steve the Techno Vampire and Ratin Mikitchin vs. Jean-Luc Watkins and Allen Price.
Tag Team Match.
Match Writer: Man.​

Look! They’re on pay-per-view now!

​

FOURTH MATCH - 1/60
Bryan Baxter (c) vs. ???.
Singles Match. FWA North American Championship.
Match Writer: Dubb.​

The past three months has seen Big Bryan Baxter on a wave of momentum that included a Semi-Finals showing in the F1 Climaxxx as well as winning the FWA North American Championship against Lizzie Rose during the tournament. He would go on to successfully defend the title at Back in Town in a rematch with Lizzie. But since debuting in FWA, Bryan has made a lot of enemies with his “win at all costs” mentality. On Meltdown XXVII, Baxter received a note that someone was coming for him at Grand March. But with such a long list of potential people coming for him, the question remains, who will be Bryan’s challenger? And to make matters worse for the champion, he will be going into this match without Mr. Scorpane. The man who has been so responsible for many of his wins has seemingly taken on a new spot with The Nephews instead.

​

FIFTH MATCH - 1/20.
Aka Manto (Aka Yurei & Keiko Hirabayashi) vs. PONI-BOI (midnight MUSTANG and sunrise STALLION).
Tag Team Match.
Match Writer: Dubb.​

The names of Aka Yurei and Keiko Hirabayashi will be known to the FWA, particularly the former, who impressed in her most recent run in the company in the middle of 2022. Aka Yurei managed to pick up the FWA World Tag Team Championships during that run with Reagan Cole as part of the Spirit Walkers, but now returns to the Fantasy Wrestling Alliance with new partner Hirabayashi as part of Aka Manto. They are set to make their debuts in Chicago, Illinois, where they will hope to make an instant impression over midnight MUSTANG and sunrise STALLION of PONI-BOI.

​

SIXTH MATCH - 1/30.
Shawn Summers (c) vs. Tommy Bedlam.
Singles Match. FWA Television Championship.
Match Writer: Jimmy.​

Shawn Summers overcame Death Walker, Jason Randall, and then-champion Vampyra to become the FWA Television Champion at Back in Town for a second time. Summers has dominated that division since its inauguration, his first reign only coming to an end at the previous pay-per-view when he was defeated (contentiously) by Phillip A. Jackson at Lights Out. Summers has already defended the belt once against Joe Burr, and will now look to extend his run with the belt against a very game opponent in Tommy Bedlam. Der Basterd put out an open challenge for his championship on a first come, first served basis on Meltdown XXVI, and this was promptly answered by the Cowboy only two days later on Fallout 026.

Tommy Bedlam has had some issues of his own dating back to the later stretches of the F1 Climaxxx. After re-entering the FWA and building momentum thanks to early victories over Nate Savage, Jason Randall, and Vampyra, the Cowboy has struggled as of late and slumped to a losing streak throughout the early part of 2023. That was somewhat put to rest when Bedlam overcame the Boulder on Fallout 027, but he will no doubt hope to triumph over more credible competition at the pay-per-view. During that recent tune-up match against the Boulder, Shawn Summers made his presence felt and indeed almost cost Bedlam the contest, hitting the ring and attacking the Cowboy with a chair. Der Basterd saved his most callous actions for after the match, though, where he shoved Tommy Bedlam’s pregnant valet Randi before a brief scuffle broke out between the two. An inaudible word from Summers brought this to a halt, with Bedlam taken aback in surprise at what his Grand March opponent had to say to him. It will be interesting to see if this match brings about any closure between these two, or if any more light is shed on what gave the Cowboy such pause on Fallout 027.

​

SEVENTH MATCH - MAIN EVENT - 1/60.
Chris Peacock (c) vs. Cyrus Truth vs. Michelle von Horrowitz.
Three Way Dance. FWA World Championship.
Match Writer: Man.​

Chris Peacock began his first reign with the FWA World Championship at Back in Town, when he cashed in his Golden Opportunity briefcase with an ahead-of-time challenge. For two years now, this mechanic has been quite literally a Golden opportunity, with Devin Golden dethroned and denied the chance to defend his newly-won championship at the Grand March. For Chris Peacock, it marks the end of a journey that has taken him just over two years, a remarkable accomplishment in itself. However, if there’s one thing we’ve learned from the long list of champions that have reigned briefly since Saint Sulley’s most recent reign ended at 2021’s Back in Business, it’s that it’s maybe more difficult to keep the title than to win it. Peacock will hope to survive this first hurdle and establish himself as champion, with the next defence after this one not scheduled until Mexico City’s Back in Business in July.

Meanwhile, much of the winter in the FWA was dominated by the F1 Climaxxx, with the final held just before Peacock’s triumph as the penultimate match of Back in Town. In that contest, we saw Michelle von Horrowitz dupe the match official and earn a disqualification victory over Cyrus Truth, a result that didn’t sit well with the FWA Cosmos, and least of all the Exile. Jon Russnow would quickly announce on Meltdown XXVI that, although he couldn’t reverse the decision or strip MvH of the F1 win, he could add Cyrus Truth to the main event of the Grand March, and this three-way dance match was born.

The run-up to this showdown has been punctuated by Nephew malfeasance against Cyrus Truth, firstly trying to cause his disqualification in a singles contest against Tommy Bedlam on Fallout 026. That particular plan backfired, but Truth was defeated on Meltdown XXVII by a team of Nephews, much to Truth’s chagrin and Dreamer’s delight. Peacock, meanwhile, has mostly escaped the focus of Michelle von Horrowitz’s associates, but tensions have risen between him and the Exile after perceived slights on Meltdown XXVI. Annoyed at being brushed off by Cyrus Truth after his intervention with the Nephews, Peacock traded hands with the Exile at the climax of Fallout 026 and words at the beginning of Meltdown XXVII. The three stood off as Fallout 027 went off the air, with the King of the Deathmatch competitors brawling at ringside around them.

Cyrus Truth will be looking to begin his fourth reign with the FWA World Championship in Chicago, whilst Michelle von Horrowitz will hope it’s the dawn of her third. Chris Peacock stands in both of their way, with all three no doubt dreaming of entering Mexico City at Back in Business XVII with the richest prize in the game in tow.

The promo deadline for this show is as follows:

Sunday 2nd April, 2023 at 23:59 Pacific Time.
Monday 3rd April, 2023 at 03:00(am) Eastern.
Monday 3rd April, 2023 at 08:00(am) UK.
Monday 3rd April, 2023 at 11:00(am) Turkey.
Monday 3rd April, 2023 at 19:00 Melbourne.

If there are errors with timezones/daylight savings, appropriate grace will be given. There will be no extensions. Good luck!​

​

 

[Rosie]

King of the Deathmatch: There will be blood.

 

[CakeWalker]

so one roleplay - if your in the tournament?

 

[Rosie]

so one roleplay - if your in the tournament?

Yep. You don't need to do a promo doing a long rant addressing every single person in the tournament... (If anything, it'd hurt) but you do one roleplay. Likely can do a lot for character development and do well.

 

[Mandalorian]

so one roleplay - if your in the tournament?

Yes. We will grade all promos submitted and then format the tournament in the write up to reflect where promos are ranked (hence no pre-announced brackets).

 

[Mandalorian]

Aka Manto - I really enjoyed this promo, Grim. It’s one thing to just say that Aka and Keiko have chemistry and expect us to just accept it, but your writing of their interaction proved it, which was really good. Aka being the main focus of the promo makes sense, given she is the one with the history with the FWA. Had there not been mentions of Cole and Mason in here I’d have been disappointed, but you’ve laid some good groundwork here with Aka initially giving Reagan the benefit of the doubt. I’m interested to see how her viewpoint shifts (if at all) and getting to know Keiko some more. This was a very clean promo and it served as a good introduction for Keiko and re-introduction for Aka. I really liked the mirror metaphor and Aka being sucked back into it to represent her coming back into what she knows can be a very horrible environment that keeps pulling her back.

What could have set it apart a bit more would have been to talk about the match or the opponents a bit more, but given the circumstances and this being a debut promo, I think that can be overlooked. I’m very glad to have you back and with such an early promo drop, very glad to see that you’re up for it. Nice work, Grim.

 

[Sully]

I'm gonna review almost every promo for this show.

I am promising that now. Exception for KODM promos as I don't like to review opponent promos. But I may do some after the show is posted or even after grades are surely done

 

[Rosie]

Since @WelshyBOI wanted me to give feedback, I'll do some, at least brief.

First, the grand idea of the Hunger Games. A concept which probably has been done before, but in the world of e-feds, almost nothing is original and it is about execution.

Something small which I noticed that can make your presentation a bit extra is just choice of image. I think it was a good choice to have pictures of your opponents as a way for a visual pop. Something to make it have extra weight. The pictures for the canons, for Weasleperson appearing, Black, good choice. But the first picture does have that extra bit on it which takes me out of it a tiny bit and the Campfire does have a watermark on it. These are legit nitpicks, but sometimes having an image without those things makes your promo a bit extra nice looking.

For the actual content itself, I really like the idea of a running narrative throughout. Rather than you hitting hitting a quota of "I need to see each person," you decided to focus down on highlighting a couple key characters with Trixie. Her main (unwilling) rival, someone she teamed with (potential future storyline?) as the main antagonist for Trixie and her main ally. You show her as this person who is overly trusting, but show a hint of her starting to get a bit more of a clue of "Okay, in wrestling people stab each other in the back," questioning KDS. Then of course, Alyster Black just shows up and kills her because "Yeah, he's the favourite to win." and etc. I think that is the thing which I like the most of the promo, just having that connecting story throughout.

But, the real question I ask, and this isn't me telling you that you should have gone one direction or another, is that the only way it could have gone? What if Trixie grew a spine more and fought back against someone like Black, going down with a fight? Could you have had KDS try to betray her? I think something like that, a twist or a big emotional moment could have been something small just to take the promo itself to a different level. Maybe it could be something to show Trixie's personality more as a hard-headed girl who doesn't go down? Is she maturing? Just spit-balling.

But I think this might be overall, one of your better promos. Just theming things together, trying something out of the box and I think no matter what happens, you can hang your hat on this knowing you've taken steps forward.

 

[WelshyBOI]

Since @WelshyBOI wanted me to give feedback, I'll do some, at least brief.

First, the grand idea of the Hunger Games. A concept which probably has been done before, but in the world of e-feds, almost nothing is original and it is about execution.

Something small which I noticed that can make your presentation a bit extra is just choice of image. I think it was a good choice to have pictures of your opponents as a way for a visual pop. Something to make it have extra weight. The pictures for the canons, for Weasleperson appearing, Black, good choice. But the first picture does have that extra bit on it which takes me out of it a tiny bit and the Campfire does have a watermark on it. These are legit nitpicks, but sometimes having an image without those things makes your promo a bit extra nice looking.

For the actual content itself, I really like the idea of a running narrative throughout. Rather than you hitting hitting a quota of "I need to see each person," you decided to focus down on highlighting a couple key characters with Trixie. Her main (unwilling) rival, someone she teamed with (potential future storyline?) as the main antagonist for Trixie and her main ally. You show her as this person who is overly trusting, but show a hint of her starting to get a bit more of a clue of "Okay, in wrestling people stab each other in the back," questioning KDS. Then of course, Alyster Black just shows up and kills her because "Yeah, he's the favourite to win." and etc. I think that is the thing which I like the most of the promo, just having that connecting story throughout.

But, the real question I ask, and this isn't me telling you that you should have gone one direction or another, is that the only way it could have gone? What if Trixie grew a spine more and fought back against someone like Black, going down with a fight? Could you have had KDS try to betray her? I think something like that, a twist or a big emotional moment could have been something small just to take the promo itself to a different level. Maybe it could be something to show Trixie's personality more as a hard-headed girl who doesn't go down? Is she maturing? Just spit-balling.

But I think this might be overall, one of your better promos. Just theming things together, trying something out of the box and I think no matter what happens, you can hang your hat on this knowing you've taken steps forward.

Thanks for the feedback! It’s really appreciated.

I could’ve gone with something different for the ending, and I definitely could’ve written it better regardless.

The idea of having Trixie basically jobbed out to Black at the end was intended to be predicated on the fact that I had shown her toughness and bravery prior to that. Like, through the course of the promo, her leg was cut open, her nose was busted, her forearms were shredded by a rabid Weasel and her right arm was broken in two places, and AFTER all of that damage had been dealt to her, she still managed to deliver the killing blow to someone far more skilled than her, and was about to try to intervene in another fight, before Black came in like a fucking beast and just took her out instantly. Like, I could’ve had her have a heroic fight back against him, but in my head, Alyster Black, being the favourite to win, along with his general appearance, the fact that he’s the X Champion and whatnot, is the perfect boogeyman. And the thing about having nightmares where the boogeyman is involved, is that he usually winds up killing you violently, and you usually can’t do much to prevent it And also, having her have her heroic fight back against the big bad in this promo, which takes place in her silly little mind, would devalue any potential heroic fight back she would have if I am fortunate enough to wind up opposite Alyster Black at some point during this tournament, lol.

That was the goal anyway, lol. Again, I’m not too happy with how it turned out, and I wish I could’ve written it better, but I gave it my best shot. Here’s hoping that it’s enough to make it out of round one.

 

[Sully]

@Grim

Aka and Keiko - I think this was a great promo that really set up the dynamic between Aka and Keiko well. You mentioned that you were worried it'd push too far but I don't think it does. Somewhat prejudicely, if Keiko was a man I might've been more grossed out. But I think it's going to be a good dynamic to explore how manipulating and abusive a woman can be in this type of dynamic as well. I think one thing about this promo is it pretty much is a static setting where not too much happens beyond the dialog between Aka and Keiko. It's got a soap opera feel to it. Which, for the purpose of fleshing out these characters works really well especially in a first time match. But I think for a PPV or once you get going with them, I'd like to see some more fleshed out story pieces that go beyond that dialog. But still for a first time promo I think this works well and it gives us a really good introduction to Keiko. I enjoy tag team duos that have tension and complications between them, but do beware they're difficult to traverse as the story can eventually sort of flow towards them breaking apart for good...if you let it. Joe Burr and Sully sort of worked out that way. The tension was a good part of their characters, but somewhat unplanned it sort of rolled into something too big to bring back. That's a dynamic part of FWA that I love though. The way we plan for storylines and yet the promos we write show to show sort of take the story on a totally different path than we've intended. Overall you've got a good base here and a lot of good stuff to build off of, good work!

@SupineSnake

MvH - Let it be known that from a fan standpoint, I am rooting against MvH in this one the most. I think I want Cyrus Truth to win, but I'd be okay if Chris Peacock retains. MvH getting her third world title reign though? I'd be repulsed. With that said, this promo puts you in a good position to do just that. The opening introduction was great. From the fourth wall breaking where the reader (and graders) are recognized, to Uncle and him setting up this story. It almost felt like a Tales from the Crept or some other anthology sort of vibe, and if this promo was an anthology in itself I think I'd have really enjoyed it. The walk through the halls at the beginning of the story did a good job of quickly introducing a bunch of characters of the FWA universe without diving too deep. I think the little lines with each character sort of capture well how these characters (and almost handlers) are like out of character. My biggest gripe about this promo I think is more so from a personal standpoint, and it's a controversial one at that because it locks in a view point of how the kayfabe of the FWA operates. We've had debates before on this exactly and I think it sort of ended with, we can all view it our own way. I for one think FWA is sort of a hybrid of kayfabe and not. It's not totally scripted like WWE, but it's not real either. I like to see it as closer to UFC. The fights are real and the outcomes are real, but the storylines and drama are usually fake. I like to view it this way because when it comes down to it, the fights are real in the FWA as promos are graded. But, I know people disagree with that opinion. The fact that this promo has the premise of an alternative universe makes that gripe pretty moot regardless, but it's still one I wanted to share. I think addressing Cyrus as the favorite from Russnow is a good approach though, especially as I started this review by saying that Cyrus was my favorite to win. I wrote that line before reading a single word of your promo, so that fact that your promo essentially responded to that is cool. I think one of the best parts of this promo though is that it captures the nuances of backstage WWE/AEW, something we don't really see much from promos. It's a unique take/perspective that I don't know if it's been done much at all, and definitely not from a long while. And again, the premise of this being an alternative reality helps quell any controversies that people may see with this backside view of the fed. I think the Cyrus Truth monologue about Stalin's son was the peak of the promo from me, and I actually almost questioned whether or not Cyrus actually wrote this part because you captured him so well. Did you get the idea of doing a wrestler's court with Cyurs as the judge after I asked that question in the discord a few weeks ago? The ending was in a perfect place, right before the gorilla positions. The final lines amplify the theme of the promo being that this is an alternate universe, although I do sort of wish it ended up Michelle contemplating a Montreal screw job sort of deal instead of just accepting her position. Haven't read Cyrus or Peacock yet but this is going to be hard to beat I think as it's a perspective that stands out. I think promos with different perspectives are always going to be winners, especially ones that are unique and offer a different point of view we've rarely seen.



More reviews to come!

 

[SupineSnake]

Thanks for the review Sulllock! Much appreciated. Completely agreed re it being what you make of it in terms of KAYFABE, I think that too. A lot of promos make it clear the way the handler thinks it is with subtle references or whatever, and my view (so how I write MvH) is that it's all real. So although the setting for my alternate reality is possibly how someone else views the fed in ours, it's different from my own and how I usually write.

Re: wrestler's court, I first started kicking the idea around for this promo in DMs at the end of February. Just had a look and Cyrus wrestler's court idea I first floated on 27th Feb - not sure if that's before or after your idea but I promise that was independent XD.

Glad you enjoyed the Stalin's son part. As a tidbit, I first read about that historical anecdote in 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being' -- which also has a passage about 'The Grand March' of History, where our PPV name comes from...

 

[Sully]

@Tommy Bedlam
Tommy Bedlam - I might be biased because I am rooting for Tommy hard in this one, but I think you absolutely nailed this. There's no doubt I think Tommy might be one of my Top 3 favorite wrestlers right now on the roster. I was worried for a moment with the intro as I thought the Tommy/Randi back and forth was going to be the whole promo, but once you had Tommy transition to Lucien's it all started clicking. This honestly felt like a promo out of my playbook, as it had just the right mix of fantasy and reality. You really set up the whole office and character of Lucien well, as he's exactly how I pictured down to the Glen McKenna 35 and everything. The subtle way that Lucien talked felt natural "Years ago I did some of my work in a garden, but that's not really where my interests lie today". He sort of reminds me of The Strange Man from the Red Dead Series. One small gripe is I think Lucien's explanation to Tommy of who he was went on just a paragraph or so too long, it felt too forced at that point, but it was easy to move past once we get into Lucien's deal. The premise of Tommy selling his soul to the devil is a good one, and it's one you can build off if in one way or another, even if you twist it back into a more grounded reality. It also really fits for a match against Summers. I think many would consider that character in his own right to be the devil, and that's what makes him a powerful character. But this promo you wrote takes the premise that Summers is this big bad evil, and basically babifies it. Because as Lucien said, Summers isn't above him. Lucien is smarter, stronger, and eviler than Summers in every way. And so for Tommy to align himself with this true all-powerful evil? It feels like it gives Tommy the ultimate advantage over an opponent, who in the grand scheme of things, is nothing compared to this new ally of Tommy's. I was thinking if I'd do anything different with this I'd think I'd have kept whether or not Tommy signed the contract a mystery until the end. Have him contemplating, and then cut to the Randi text like you did. Then finally showing Tommy signing the contract at the very close. But I really liked the mysterious Glen McKenna gift appearing on his seat instead. This was really well done. I'm probably not going to read the Summers one so I won't know if yours has it beat or not, but I think win or lose you wrote a really good piece here and have a lot of directions to take Summers when it's all said and done.

@Dubble J
Bryan Baxter - Not going to lie, this is actually the first time I'm reading a Dubb promo. And I have to say, the hype was met! The intro with "Jeremy" talking with Bryan, and Bryan supposedly being dead was fun. It felt like a fun sketch, although it was a tease as I thought the arc was going to be more than just the bookends. With that said the premise works, because you're facing a mystery opponent. I think facing someone who you don't know who it is...that's tough. Especially in a one on one situation too. Hard enough in like CC or KotDM, but at least you can focus on other opponents. In a one on one match though? You have to really approach it delicately. The meat and potatoes of this promo actually felt like it paired up right in line with the MvH promo with the FWA backstage. It's an alternate universe with all these parodies of the wrestlers. Now you did exactly what I'd have done in this situation, and I think it's what seperates good RPers from the rest...even when you have an opponent you know. You focused on everyone in Baxter's world right now. You've got Jackson who's knocking on the door for an NA title shot, you've got the world champion Chris Peacock, and even former NA champ Lizzie Rose. I think people often gloss over talking about their predecessors a bit when champion. You beat them and move on. But I think it's takes a level of boldness to keep building off the past, but still finessing the present and future too. I think the Elizabeth character also captured Lizzie well, and your narrative did a great job of retelling the story but in a new way. The fact that Baxter sabotages Lizzie in this story is a good reminder of who really was the good guy and who was the bad guy in that arc, which goes back to the foreshadowing in the prologue nicely. Makes Elizabeth a potential suspect for the murder huh? From here this promo sort of turned into a low key American Psycho sort of vibe with Baxter slowly sabotaging his coworkers to get ahead. Definitely anti-social vibes. In the end Bryan gets the job, but also a long list of enemies. The twist with it being the homeless man at the end is a good one, especially as that sets up whoever your mystery opponent is to pretty much be linked right onto that metaphor. Overall this is a 35+ promo for me. It had a very similar premise to the MvH promo, but think the metaphors were a bit more fantasy. The title being a job title was a good perspective, and the backstory of the murder/after life discussion really tied it all together (as you could've just done the office fantasy promo, but with no cherry on top). It's a bummer that your mystery opponent is gonna blow their surprise load on a loss because you brought it.

@Jimmy King
Jackson Fenix - This promo was light and the back and forth dialog between Nate and Jackson was fun. I was glad that you addressed Parr's history with the title, but I think you should've dug a bit deeper than just a few lines. He's the greatest North American Champion of all time after all. But Jackson's overall bravado and cockiness fit his character well. I read Parr's promo first, and low key I thought you had the upset right away. I think this promo as a scene outdid Parr's. I think it's presented better too. But what's lacking is the same depth and heaviness that Parr's touched on. As a result I didn't get the same sort of feel in the character development category that I did for Parr. I think there were opportunties to call out Parr's character on a lot of different things. Parr sort of did that to himself, but as an opponent you could've pointed out the same. About how Parr has never won the world title, and all he'll ever have is the NA title. Jackson could've bragged about how he'll be embarassed after losing to him, and won't even have the NA title anymore. I feel like there was a missed shot at some of those. But I know you also were doing the Jason Randall promo for KotDM too. Still I'm rooting for Jackson Fenix from a kayfabe standpoint either way because I think character wise it'd be better for both Fenix and Parr for Fenix to win this match. Parr will get to move on to grander pastures hopefully, and Fenix can dabble with a shot at the NA title. It's been cool seeing Fenix and Savage break out away from tag team competition a little bit and get some shots at some singles titles too.

@Cyrus Truth
Cyrus Truth - I think you really nailed it overall when it came to character development for this one. Similar to Parr's promo, you really looked at your character's inner insecurities and put them all into words. This is one of your classic monologue promos, and you really use that monologue to let Cyrus spill his heart out. I didn't even notice the parallels for this triple threat match to the one where Cyrus lost to Saint Sully way back at Desert Storm 2019, but I definitely see the connection. In a way Peacock is Sully, and MvH is Gabrielle. Although, one of my biggest points when I wrote the winning promo for that match was that you had been champion for so long and it was time to move aside. I think you had the chance to take that similar idea, but from a reverse standpoint. Since Sully and Cyrus, all these new champions hold onto the world title like butter. Cyrus is one that can win and hang onto it for months and months unlike any other, a reign I think we're long due for. One of the reasons why I am rooting for Cyrus, because I think if anyone can do it he can. It's interesting to hear Cyrus say quite honestly how much he needs to win the title. He's right, if Peacock or MvH lose this match I don't think they lose much footing. But this sort of feels like it's Cyrus' last chance to prove he's still the same World Champion caliber threat that he was 4-6 years ago. Like I said, it's the inverse of the triple threat match at Desert Storm 2019...where you had the newly formed main eventer in Sully against Cyrus and Gabby who had been there for years. Now it's the old veteran Cyrus trying to take the title back from the new era of main eventers. I do feel like some of those connections were missed, but maybe that's because they're connections I would've made, and you're your own writer who knows more of what fits Cyrus. I started to suspect that the host was actually Cyrus the entire time, but seeing the twist play out was nice. I think this really encapsulated a classic old school promo. There's no big alternative universe and you didn't need to bring in a bunch of parodies of your opponents. No, just Cyrus writing some deep dialog and a simple but creative enough backdrop with the host/mirror and a twist at the end. So far I've read your promo and MvH's and it feels like your classic case of Old School vs New School, which in a sense is the premise of the match in and of itself. I don't know yet what Peacock's is going to give me or where he'll fall into that. I also don't quite know yet which one I'd pick to win between the ones I've read so far, and I'm glad I don't have to.

@Princess Rosé @Nostradamus
Princess Nova and Keres - Presentation wise I love the inclusion of the Cello video. It allows me to get immersed into the promo itself as the music plays in the background. I've used a similar approach before and I think it always sets up the promo to really feel more thematic. It sets the tone for dark promo well. The only con to this approach is unlike a movie, readers aren't forced to listen to the music while they read, and even if they do they need to pace it right to get the best experience. As long as your promo is accommodating to the idea that someone may read the promo without the video, then it works well. By that I mean that it's important to also set the scene with descriptive words, which I think you do well with the details you use to describe how it looked and what they were wearing/doing. I think overall the intro really set up this whole cult thing well. and the way that Keres addresses the crowd is so cold yet thrilling. Princess Nova and Keres are such an ODD pairing and I think that's what makes the two of them so special. The way Keres and Nova present Lizzie and Burr to the crowd is a unique way to present your opponents and tear apart their flaws. Overall I think this was a fun read and it was presented well. The dynamic between Keres and Nova is good, but I think there's room to build. At the moment Nova seems to go right along with Keres, but Keres is such a contrast of herself that I expect a bit of second-guessing from time to time. I also think being newer was a disadvantage to you both here, as you could've totally attacked Joe Burr for his failed tag team with Saint Sully last year. How can he be a trustful partner to Lizzie when he turned on his own partner? Maybe a little something to sprinkle in if your story with Lizzie and Burr continues on.

@Mandalorian
Chris Peacock - So after reading the MvH and Cyrus promos first, I had the assessment that the two of them had two very different styles of promos. Cyrus came at it with a very old school approach. A deep character development monologue approach, with a simple backdrop that still felt special and unique. SS went at it with a New School approach, embracing the way of the Nephews with a fourth wall breaking envelop pusher that makes us question the very fabric of the FWA universe. It begged the question of what style Man was going to bring into the fold, and personally I think your style is one of my favorites...as it feels very close to my own style. A huge world building fantasy promo that incorporates both a healthy balance of new school and old school. A tactful approach from the World Champion himself. With my un/self-diagnosed Attention Hyperactivity Deficit Disorder, it can be hard to hook me into a promo from the getgo. I tend to want to skip paragraphs with details that don't feel important, or jump around from the top to the end back to the top or the middle. It's an unhealthy way of reading, and a reason why I never was very good at grading (Thank god y'all are smart enough to know not to ask!). But this promo right out of the gate had me hooked. Mostly because, despite a theme that didn't feel special in our real world, felt right away special in this way. I couldn't tell if it was a Mandalorian promo itself, or just inspired from it/Star Wars. Its fitting from the Mandalorian himself, but after the intro I soon realized it was a bit different. Instead I got like more of a 12 Monkeys Vibe, or maybe like The Adam Project? A particular gripe I do have is that some of the letter names were hard to understand, but I think that's another facet of the world building that helps give it that sort of retro sci-fi vibe.

I can't for the life of me figure out who P4JCK0N is though. The concept of the Old Guard being, well originally the heroes, is a great narrative based on my review for Cyrus. I know you didn't read his promo ahead of time, but I think anyone could anticipate going in that Cyrus himself would write something with the idea that he needs to bring the old guard back. (Honestly I don't like Sully being linked in with that old guard from a personal standpoint, as I don't think he ever was. I think he was one of the first to break through and take them down).

One thing I feel like I need to point out about this old guard vs new guard angle is that the premise of the promo itself fits so well into that. It's a sci-fi time travel promo, where someone from the new is visiting someone from the old. Chris Peacock being put on this pedestal as like the official conquerer of the old guard is a bold claim, and while it's not one many may give him, they don't have to because you're the one writing the narrative here. There was a nice dose of comedy here as the Sci-Fi-Cyrus infiltrated Chris' brain, but it didn't throw off the tone of the promo either which is what makes it a well done scene. If we're to make this promo canon, the idea of a bunch of clones of Chris Peacock running around really sheds a new light on the whole Greg situation. The back and forth between the SciFi guy and with Chris during the journey provided some comic relief while still keeping me invested in the story.

“You have no idea about right and wrong, Chris Peacock. Your concern is whether others perceive you to be on the side of righteousness and morality. You convince yourself that you have done some sort of grand deed for this ‘Cyrus Truth’, yet in actuality you have brought him into the equation as a buffer. Someone to distract yourself from the true threat to what you hold dear… this ‘Michelle’.”

This part here is where the promo turned from a competing promo with Cyrus and MvH, to a winning one. As until then my biggest gripe with this entire promo was the fact that it seemed like Michelle was being overlooked. It was a dangerously bold approach that I wasn't confident would play in your favor. MvH made a similar approach with Cyrus being the declared winner in her alternate reality, which sort of by default made Cyrus the main focus/threat. I was worried you were making a very similar mistake, and one that would've potentially dampered a really well done piece. Chris' monologue that comes after is the peak of the RP that incorporates both MvH and Cyrus both, and puts Chris above both of them. The next part after in France seemed to drag on a bit for me as the ADHD kicked in, but it was a necessary transition in order to get to the climax. The climax started off strong as the C11 started to feel uncomfortable in Peacock's head, maybe a truly realistic encapsulation of who Chris is and what does go in there.

It wouldn't have been a Chris Peacock promo without a musical number. I do think the hyperlink for the video though was a bit easy to miss or gloss over, although I caught it, I'm not sure if every reader did or would if they weren't ready as closely. I think a better approach for this is the spoiler embed that Princess Nova/Keres used, but different strokes for different folks. Something I mentioned in their review is when you do include a video, I think it's important to provide an adaption or even an assumption that the video won't be clicked on, and you do that by including the lyrics here which boded well I think for your presentation score. The twist at the end that Michelle was the big villain all along ties back to what I was saying/praising in regards to the both of them being fully balanced in focus. I think one thing that separates you from your opponents is the fact that you, better than the both of them in my opinion, balanced out the focus (and in a way that really flowed narratively). Whether that's enough for you to win I don't know, nor is it even for me to decide. The final monologue from Chris is the cherry on top. It had Chris Kennedy/Saint Sully vibes to it, and each line was cold and cut deep into both Michelle and Cyrus.

"You’re too busy trying to prove yourself to everyone, like no one takes you seriously. You don’t know what it is like to not be understood or not taken seriously. Not really… because you choose to make yourself the outcast and the outsider. Just like Cyrus. I’ve tried to fit in my entire life and I’ve been cast aside, no matter how hard I have tried to do the right thing. Even though I’m supposed to be at the top of the world right now, I’m still being told that I don’t belong and I haven’t earned it. How fucking dare you, Michelle." - I don't know if I've ever seen two different characters dissected and torn apart in one paragraph in any other promo I've reviewed for this show, all the while propping yourself up at being better than the both of them. And continuing the perfect flow of balance, Peacock finishes off MvH, and then takes out C11 to pretty much cap off the metaphor that the old guard is extinct, and for a reason, and the new guard has arrived...with Peacock at the head.

If I had any gripes I'd say just a tad that the presentation could've went above and beyond. Not that it was bad, and I didn't notice any grammer or typo issues, but the SS style of using different premade graphics, and even dividers, really does polish a promo out for the world tittle level. I think you might've even been able to find some Sci-Fi asethic sort of things to bring it together, but it doesn't take away, and if anything itf done wrong could be distracting. Overall an absolutely beautifully balanced story, and potentially one of your bests.

@TheProdigy
Mike Parr - I think if I was going to write a Mike Parr promo for this match, the premise I would focus on is exactly the one that you did. For a brief moment, I was worried in fact that you wouldn't address it at all, but the prologue's ending eased me of that. There is absolutely no question that when it comes to the North American Championship, Mike Parr is the face of it. But what makes Mike Parr different is he's not okay with this. Up until a few weeks ago, my character Saint Sully had every record for the X Title, similar to Mike Parr with the NA title. But for Sully he eats that up, having an entire title attached to his legacy. For Mike Parr though? He's conflicted. He's not okay with that legacy, because he wants so much more. Because unlike Sully, he still hasn't won a world title. I've been saying in the discord a few times how we've had a run of guys who have been long overdue finally breaking through the glass ceiling and winning the world title (Danny Toner, Randy Ramon, etc). But there's one name that remains who's been with the FWA for I think a decade now. I think it'd be hard for a wrestler to compete in a number one contender match...for a title that very much is cemented in their legacy, when there's other things they need to accomplish. And I think you nailed those thoughts on the head. And it's for that reason why, I think I'm rooting against Mike Parr in this match for that reason, and I sort of get the feeling you are too. I get that feeling because this promo doesn't feel like an I want to win promo. It's a long internal monologue that perfectly captures the conflict, but there's no story around it, which for a PPV promo I think is lacking. It felt short, and although Parr mentions how he doesn't take Jackson Fenix seriously, I think Jackson is definitely set up for an upset. But the message I got from this promo is that Parr is trying to cement his legacy...to me? The connect between Mike Parr and the North American Championship is solidified. Sure, some people could make an argument for The Wolf who still has the most combined days with the title (a record Parr will surely beat if he does claim the belt for a 5th time). But I don't know, to me Parr is already the face. This promo screams of Parr internally longing for more. He questions whether he's pretty much resigned to the NA title scene, and somewhat accepts defeat on the fact that he never will win the world title. But I don't believe that...I think Parr can do it. But if he wins this match, he's going to get thrusted into the NA title scene for the next half a year if not longer. Sure he can easily win the world title as the NA champion with today's booking, but I want different. I hope this promo is the beginning of the final chapter for Mike Parr. And I'm sorry but I hope it beings with a loss. A loss that Parr can use to his advantage when he goes 100% heels in to winning the FWA World Title, with the same promo quality and energy that Mike Parr 3-5 years ago had.



Not like my opinion matters, but here's who I think had the best in some of the different categories this week. Also keep in mind I didn't read any King of the Deathmatch promos and didn't include them in my assessment.

Spoiler: The Bests

Best Overall Promo of the Week
Chris Peacock

Most Creative Promo of the Week
Bryan Baxter

Best Character Development of the Week
Cyrus Truth

Best Presentation of the Week
Michelle von Horrowitz

Best Breakout of the Week
Tommy Bedlam

The World Title promos absolutely brought it this week. I'm glad I don't have to grade them. I think all three competitors came at it with a different approach. Cyrus with an Old School style approach, SS with a New School approach, and Man with a great balance of both (and metaphors that low key emulate the very concept of the old vs new to begin with). I had Chris Peacock as the best overall promo this week because I think I enjoyed his promo the most from just a reader's perspective, not a grading one. It had everything I expect from a World Champion promo.

Cyrus and MvH weren't that far behind, and I think Cyrus excelled better than anyone at character development with a really raw inner reflection of the Cyrus Truth character's strugles. While MvH likely scores high in all categories, I think presentation has been a staple for SS as of late and he probably stands alone with Dubb right behind him when it comes to quality presentation of a promo.

Baxter's promo was actually the winner for best overall promo until I read the Peacock RP. I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially considering he was RPing against a mystery opponent which is hard to do at any point. But he wins best creative for me because I think the metaphor for the job title being the North American Championship (North American Sales Director or whatever it was) was a great approach to keep the FWA world in tact but in an entirely fictional universe. MvH wasn't far behind with her alternative reality promo.

And perhaps calling it a breakout promo is a bit ignorant considering it's been awhile since I've read a Tommy Bedlam promo, but I felt like this was above and beyond a new level for Tommy. It felt like he's taking a step up, and definitely was on parr with the level of competition he's been assigned as of late. I can see him only getting better and it won't be long until he's in the other categories as well. His promo where Tommy signs his soul to the devil will also be "breaking out" a lot of potential new arcs for Tommy to take the Bedlam character in the coming weeks. Big hype to come.

 

[Rosie]

@Tommy Bedlam
Tommy Bedlam - I might be biased because I am rooting for Tommy hard in this one, but I think you absolutely nailed this. There's no doubt I think Tommy might be one of my Top 3 favorite wrestlers right now on the roster. I was worried for a moment with the intro as I thought the Tommy/Randi back and forth was going to be the whole promo, but once you had Tommy transition to Lucien's it all started clicking. This honestly felt like a promo out of my playbook, as it had just the right mix of fantasy and reality. You really set up the whole office and character of Lucien well, as he's exactly how I pictured down to the Glen McKenna 35 and everything. The subtle way that Lucien talked felt natural "Years ago I did some of my work in a garden, but that's not really where my interests lie today". He sort of reminds me of The Strange Man from the Red Dead Series. One small gripe is I think Lucien's explanation to Tommy of who he was went on just a paragraph or so too long, it felt too forced at that point, but it was easy to move past once we get into Lucien's deal. The premise of Tommy selling his soul to the devil is a good one, and it's one you can build off if in one way or another, even if you twist it back into a more grounded reality. It also really fits for a match against Summers. I think many would consider that character in his own right to be the devil, and that's what makes him a powerful character. But this promo you wrote takes the premise that Summers is this big bad evil, and basically babifies it. Because as Lucien said, Summers isn't above him. Lucien is smarter, stronger, and eviler than Summers in every way. And so for Tommy to align himself with this true all-powerful evil? It feels like it gives Tommy the ultimate advantage over an opponent, who in the grand scheme of things, is nothing compared to this new ally of Tommy's. I was thinking if I'd do anything different with this I'd think I'd have kept whether or not Tommy signed the contract a mystery until the end. Have him contemplating, and then cut to the Randi text like you did. Then finally showing Tommy signing the contract at the very close. But I really liked the mysterious Glen McKenna gift appearing on his seat instead. This was really well done. I'm probably not going to read the Summers one so I won't know if yours has it beat or not, but I think win or lose you wrote a really good piece here and have a lot of directions to take Summers when it's all said and done.

@Dubble J
Bryan Baxter - Not going to lie, this is actually the first time I'm reading a Dubb promo. And I have to say, the hype was met! The intro with "Jeremy" talking with Bryan, and Bryan supposedly being dead was fun. It felt like a fun sketch, although it was a tease as I thought the arc was going to be more than just the bookends. With that said the premise works, because you're facing a mystery opponent. I think facing someone who you don't know who it is...that's tough. Especially in a one on one situation too. Hard enough in like CC or KotDM, but at least you can focus on other opponents. In a one on one match though? You have to really approach it delicately. The meat and potatoes of this promo actually felt like it paired up right in line with the MvH promo with the FWA backstage. It's an alternate universe with all these parodies of the wrestlers. Now you did exactly what I'd have done in this situation, and I think it's what seperates good RPers from the rest...even when you have an opponent you know. You focused on everyone in Baxter's world right now. You've got Jackson who's knocking on the door for an NA title shot, you've got the world champion Chris Peacock, and even former NA champ Lizzie Rose. I think people often gloss over talking about their predecessors a bit when champion. You beat them and move on. But I think it's takes a level of boldness to keep building off the past, but still finessing the present and future too. I think the Elizabeth character also captured Lizzie well, and your narrative did a great job of retelling the story but in a new way. The fact that Baxter sabotages Lizzie in this story is a good reminder of who really was the good guy and who was the bad guy in that arc, which goes back to the foreshadowing in the prologue nicely. Makes Elizabeth a potential suspect for the murder huh? From here this promo sort of turned into a low key American Psycho sort of vibe with Baxter slowly sabotaging his coworkers to get ahead. Definitely anti-social vibes. In the end Bryan gets the job, but also a long list of enemies. The twist with it being the homeless man at the end is a good one, especially as that sets up whoever your mystery opponent is to pretty much be linked right onto that metaphor. Overall this is a 35+ promo for me. It had a very similar premise to the MvH promo, but think the metaphors were a bit more fantasy. The title being a job title was a good perspective, and the backstory of the murder/after life discussion really tied it all together (as you could've just done the office fantasy promo, but with no cherry on top). It's a bummer that your mystery opponent is gonna blow their surprise load on a loss because you brought it.

@Jimmy King
Jackson Fenix - This promo was light and the back and forth dialog between Nate and Jackson was fun. I was glad that you addressed Parr's history with the title, but I think you should've dug a bit deeper than just a few lines. He's the greatest North American Champion of all time after all. But Jackson's overall bravado and cockiness fit his character well. I read Parr's promo first, and low key I thought you had the upset right away. I think this promo as a scene outdid Parr's. I think it's presented better too. But what's lacking is the same depth and heaviness that Parr's touched on. As a result I didn't get the same sort of feel in the character development category that I did for Parr. I think there were opportunties to call out Parr's character on a lot of different things. Parr sort of did that to himself, but as an opponent you could've pointed out the same. About how Parr has never won the world title, and all he'll ever have is the NA title. Jackson could've bragged about how he'll be embarassed after losing to him, and won't even have the NA title anymore. I feel like there was a missed shot at some of those. But I know you also were doing the Jason Randall promo for KotDM too. Still I'm rooting for Jackson Fenix from a kayfabe standpoint either way because I think character wise it'd be better for both Fenix and Parr for Fenix to win this match. Parr will get to move on to grander pastures hopefully, and Fenix can dabble with a shot at the NA title. It's been cool seeing Fenix and Savage break out away from tag team competition a little bit and get some shots at some singles titles too.

@Cyrus Truth
Cyrus Truth - I think you really nailed it overall when it came to character development for this one. Similar to Parr's promo, you really looked at your character's inner insecurities and put them all into words. This is one of your classic monologue promos, and you really use that monologue to let Cyrus spill his heart out. I didn't even notice the parallels for this triple threat match to the one where Cyrus lost to Saint Sully way back at Desert Storm 2019, but I definitely see the connection. In a way Peacock is Sully, and MvH is Gabrielle. Although, one of my biggest points when I wrote the winning promo for that match was that you had been champion for so long and it was time to move aside. I think you had the chance to take that similar idea, but from a reverse standpoint. Since Sully and Cyrus, all these new champions hold onto the world title like butter. Cyrus is one that can win and hang onto it for months and months unlike any other, a reign I think we're long due for. One of the reasons why I am rooting for Cyrus, because I think if anyone can do it he can. It's interesting to hear Cyrus say quite honestly how much he needs to win the title. He's right, if Peacock or MvH lose this match I don't think they lose much footing. But this sort of feels like it's Cyrus' last chance to prove he's still the same World Champion caliber threat that he was 4-6 years ago. Like I said, it's the inverse of the triple threat match at Desert Storm 2019...where you had the newly formed main eventer in Sully against Cyrus and Gabby who had been there for years. Now it's the old veteran Cyrus trying to take the title back from the new era of main eventers. I do feel like some of those connections were missed, but maybe that's because they're connections I would've made, and you're your own writer who knows more of what fits Cyrus. I started to suspect that the host was actually Cyrus the entire time, but seeing the twist play out was nice. I think this really encapsulated a classic old school promo. There's no big alternative universe and you didn't need to bring in a bunch of parodies of your opponents. No, just Cyrus writing some deep dialog and a simple but creative enough backdrop with the host/mirror and a twist at the end. So far I've read your promo and MvH's and it feels like your classic case of Old School vs New School, which in a sense is the premise of the match in and of itself. I don't know yet what Peacock's is going to give me or where he'll fall into that. I also don't quite know yet which one I'd pick to win between the ones I've read so far, and I'm glad I don't have to.

@Princess Rosé @Nostradamus
Princess Nova and Keres - Presentation wise I love the inclusion of the Cello video. It allows me to get immersed into the promo itself as the music plays in the background. I've used a similar approach before and I think it always sets up the promo to really feel more thematic. It sets the tone for dark promo well. The only con to this approach is unlike a movie, readers aren't forced to listen to the music while they read, and even if they do they need to pace it right to get the best experience. As long as your promo is accommodating to the idea that someone may read the promo without the video, then it works well. By that I mean that it's important to also set the scene with descriptive words, which I think you do well with the details you use to describe how it looked and what they were wearing/doing. I think overall the intro really set up this whole cult thing well. and the way that Keres addresses the crowd is so cold yet thrilling. Princess Nova and Keres are such an ODD pairing and I think that's what makes the two of them so special. The way Keres and Nova present Lizzie and Burr to the crowd is a unique way to present your opponents and tear apart their flaws. Overall I think this was a fun read and it was presented well. The dynamic between Keres and Nova is good, but I think there's room to build. At the moment Nova seems to go right along with Keres, but Keres is such a contrast of herself that I expect a bit of second-guessing from time to time. I also think being newer was a disadvantage to you both here, as you could've totally attacked Joe Burr for his failed tag team with Saint Sully last year. How can he be a trustful partner to Lizzie when he turned on his own partner? Maybe a little something to sprinkle in if your story with Lizzie and Burr continues on.

@Mandalorian
Chris Peacock - So after reading the MvH and Cyrus promos first, I had the assessment that the two of them had two very different styles of promos. Cyrus came at it with a very old school approach. A deep character development monologue approach, with a simple backdrop that still felt special and unique. SS went at it with a New School approach, embracing the way of the Nephews with a fourth wall breaking envelop pusher that makes us question the very fabric of the FWA universe. It begged the question of what style Man was going to bring into the fold, and personally I think your style is one of my favorites...as it feels very close to my own style. A huge world building fantasy promo that incorporates both a healthy balance of new school and old school. A tactful approach from the World Champion himself. With my un/self-diagnosed Attention Hyperactivity Deficit Disorder, it can be hard to hook me into a promo from the getgo. I tend to want to skip paragraphs with details that don't feel important, or jump around from the top to the end back to the top or the middle. It's an unhealthy way of reading, and a reason why I never was very good at grading (Thank god y'all are smart enough to know not to ask!). But this promo right out of the gate had me hooked. Mostly because, despite a theme that didn't feel special in our real world, felt right away special in this way. I couldn't tell if it was a Mandalorian promo itself, or just inspired from it/Star Wars. Its fitting from the Mandalorian himself, but after the intro I soon realized it was a bit different. Instead I got like more of a 12 Monkeys Vibe, or maybe like The Adam Project? A particular gripe I do have is that some of the letter names were hard to understand, but I think that's another facet of the world building that helps give it that sort of retro sci-fi vibe.

I can't for the life of me figure out who P4JCK0N is though. The concept of the Old Guard being, well originally the heroes, is a great narrative based on my review for Cyrus. I know you didn't read his promo ahead of time, but I think anyone could anticipate going in that Cyrus himself would write something with the idea that he needs to bring the old guard back. (Honestly I don't like Sully being linked in with that old guard from a personal standpoint, as I don't think he ever was. I think he was one of the first to break through and take them down).

One thing I feel like I need to point out about this old guard vs new guard angle is that the premise of the promo itself fits so well into that. It's a sci-fi time travel promo, where someone from the new is visiting someone from the old. Chris Peacock being put on this pedestal as like the official conquerer of the old guard is a bold claim, and while it's not one many may give him, they don't have to because you're the one writing the narrative here. There was a nice dose of comedy here as the Sci-Fi-Cyrus infiltrated Chris' brain, but it didn't throw off the tone of the promo either which is what makes it a well done scene. If we're to make this promo canon, the idea of a bunch of clones of Chris Peacock running around really sheds a new light on the whole Greg situation. The back and forth between the SciFi guy and with Chris during the journey provided some comic relief while still keeping me invested in the story.

“You have no idea about right and wrong, Chris Peacock. Your concern is whether others perceive you to be on the side of righteousness and morality. You convince yourself that you have done some sort of grand deed for this ‘Cyrus Truth’, yet in actuality you have brought him into the equation as a buffer. Someone to distract yourself from the true threat to what you hold dear… this ‘Michelle’.”

This part here is where the promo turned from a competing promo with Cyrus and MvH, to a winning one. As until then my biggest gripe with this entire promo was the fact that it seemed like Michelle was being overlooked. It was a dangerously bold approach that I wasn't confident would play in your favor. MvH made a similar approach with Cyrus being the declared winner in her alternate reality, which sort of by default made Cyrus the main focus/threat. I was worried you were making a very similar mistake, and one that would've potentially dampered a really well done piece. Chris' monologue that comes after is the peak of the RP that incorporates both MvH and Cyrus both, and puts Chris above both of them. The next part after in France seemed to drag on a bit for me as the ADHD kicked in, but it was a necessary transition in order to get to the climax. The climax started off strong as the C11 started to feel uncomfortable in Peacock's head, maybe a truly realistic encapsulation of who Chris is and what does go in there.

It wouldn't have been a Chris Peacock promo without a musical number. I do think the hyperlink for the video though was a bit easy to miss or gloss over, although I caught it, I'm not sure if every reader did or would if they weren't ready as closely. I think a better approach for this is the spoiler embed that Princess Nova/Keres used, but different strokes for different folks. Something I mentioned in their review is when you do include a video, I think it's important to provide an adaption or even an assumption that the video won't be clicked on, and you do that by including the lyrics here which boded well I think for your presentation score. The twist at the end that Michelle was the big villain all along ties back to what I was saying/praising in regards to the both of them being fully balanced in focus. I think one thing that separates you from your opponents is the fact that you, better than the both of them in my opinion, balanced out the focus (and in a way that really flowed narratively). Whether that's enough for you to win I don't know, nor is it even for me to decide. The final monologue from Chris is the cherry on top. It had Chris Kennedy/Saint Sully vibes to it, and each line was cold and cut deep into both Michelle and Cyrus.

"You’re too busy trying to prove yourself to everyone, like no one takes you seriously. You don’t know what it is like to not be understood or not taken seriously. Not really… because you choose to make yourself the outcast and the outsider. Just like Cyrus. I’ve tried to fit in my entire life and I’ve been cast aside, no matter how hard I have tried to do the right thing. Even though I’m supposed to be at the top of the world right now, I’m still being told that I don’t belong and I haven’t earned it. How fucking dare you, Michelle." - I don't know if I've ever seen two different characters dissected and torn apart in one paragraph in any other promo I've reviewed for this show, all the while propping yourself up at being better than the both of them. And continuing the perfect flow of balance, Peacock finishes off MvH, and then takes out C11 to pretty much cap off the metaphor that the old guard is extinct, and for a reason, and the new guard has arrived...with Peacock at the head.

If I had any gripes I'd say just a tad that the presentation could've went above and beyond. Not that it was bad, and I didn't notice any grammer or typo issues, but the SS style of using different premade graphics, and even dividers, really does polish a promo out for the world tittle level. I think you might've even been able to find some Sci-Fi asethic sort of things to bring it together, but it doesn't take away, and if anything itf done wrong could be distracting. Overall an absolutely beautifully balanced story, and potentially one of your bests.

@TheProdigy
Mike Parr - I think if I was going to write a Mike Parr promo for this match, the premise I would focus on is exactly the one that you did. For a brief moment, I was worried in fact that you wouldn't address it at all, but the prologue's ending eased me of that. There is absolutely no question that when it comes to the North American Championship, Mike Parr is the face of it. But what makes Mike Parr different is he's not okay with this. Up until a few weeks ago, my character Saint Sully had every record for the X Title, similar to Mike Parr with the NA title. But for Sully he eats that up, having an entire title attached to his legacy. For Mike Parr though? He's conflicted. He's not okay with that legacy, because he wants so much more. Because unlike Sully, he still hasn't won a world title. I've been saying in the discord a few times how we've had a run of guys who have been long overdue finally breaking through the glass ceiling and winning the world title (Danny Toner, Randy Ramon, etc). But there's one name that remains who's been with the FWA for I think a decade now. I think it'd be hard for a wrestler to compete in a number one contender match...for a title that very much is cemented in their legacy, when there's other things they need to accomplish. And I think you nailed those thoughts on the head. And it's for that reason why, I think I'm rooting against Mike Parr in this match for that reason, and I sort of get the feeling you are too. I get that feeling because this promo doesn't feel like an I want to win promo. It's a long internal monologue that perfectly captures the conflict, but there's no story around it, which for a PPV promo I think is lacking. It felt short, and although Parr mentions how he doesn't take Jackson Fenix seriously, I think Jackson is definitely set up for an upset. But the message I got from this promo is that Parr is trying to cement his legacy...to me? The connect between Mike Parr and the North American Championship is solidified. Sure, some people could make an argument for The Wolf who still has the most combined days with the title (a record Parr will surely beat if he does claim the belt for a 5th time). But I don't know, to me Parr is already the face. This promo screams of Parr internally longing for more. He questions whether he's pretty much resigned to the NA title scene, and somewhat accepts defeat on the fact that he never will win the world title. But I don't believe that...I think Parr can do it. But if he wins this match, he's going to get thrusted into the NA title scene for the next half a year if not longer. Sure he can easily win the world title as the NA champion with today's booking, but I want different. I hope this promo is the beginning of the final chapter for Mike Parr. And I'm sorry but I hope it beings with a loss. A loss that Parr can use to his advantage when he goes 100% heels in to winning the FWA World Title, with the same promo quality and energy that Mike Parr 3-5 years ago had.



Not like my opinion matters, but here's who I think had the best in some of the different categories this week. Also keep in mind I didn't read any King of the Deathmatch promos and didn't include them in my assessment.

Spoiler: The Bests

Best Overall Promo of the Week
Chris Peacock

Most Creative Promo of the Week
Bryan Baxter

Best Character Development of the Week
Cyrus Truth

Best Presentation of the Week
Michelle von Horrowitz

Best Breakout of the Week
Tommy Bedlam

The World Title promos absolutely brought it this week. I'm glad I don't have to grade them. I think all three competitors came at it with a different approach. Cyrus with an Old School style approach, SS with a New School approach, and Man with a great balance of both (and metaphors that low key emulate the very concept of the old vs new to begin with). I had Chris Peacock as the best overall promo this week because I think I enjoyed his promo the most from just a reader's perspective, not a grading one. It had everything I expect from a World Champion promo.

Cyrus and MvH weren't that far behind, and I think Cyrus excelled better than anyone at character development with a really raw inner reflection of the Cyrus Truth character's strugles. While MvH likely scores high in all categories, I think presentation has been a staple for SS as of late and he probably stands alone with Dubb right behind him when it comes to quality presentation of a promo.

Baxter's promo was actually the winner for best overall promo until I read the Peacock RP. I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially considering he was RPing against a mystery opponent which is hard to do at any point. But he wins best creative for me because I think the metaphor for the job title being the North American Championship (North American Sales Director or whatever it was) was a great approach to keep the FWA world in tact but in an entirely fictional universe. MvH wasn't far behind with her alternative reality promo.

And perhaps calling it a breakout promo is a bit ignorant considering it's been awhile since I've read a Tommy Bedlam promo, but I felt like this was above and beyond a new level for Tommy. It felt like he's taking a step up, and definitely was on parr with the level of competition he's been assigned as of late. I can see him only getting better and it won't be long until he's in the other categories as well. His promo where Tommy signs his soul to the devil will also be "breaking out" a lot of potential new arcs for Tommy to take the Bedlam character in the coming weeks. Big hype to come.

We didn't know that about Joe. Like, no character sign up. Most history is in archives with no gaurantee we know where it is.

Also, to why Nova goes along-

Spoiler

Girl is fucking brainwashed to shiiiiit. All mush up there in a bundle of rainbows.

More clarifications than anything.

 

[SupineSnake]

Joe Burr's sign up is in the 'roster history' part of the archives (I would guess page three). I agree that Man should post one on here though. Will maybe dock 0.5 from Lizzie/Burr promo.

 

[Mandalorian]

Joe Burr's sign up is in the 'roster history' part of the archives (I would guess page three). I agree that Man should post one on here though. Will maybe dock 0.5 from Lizzie/Burr promo.

Hey we can’t all be perfect and post all of our promos on our profiles which makes it really easy for other people to reference them in promos against us!