Funny Stories.

[The Great Cochrane]

Alright, it seems to me like a lot of these people are posting really dark touchy subjects and are coming off kinda bitchy... which I believe are necessity I mean everyone needs a place to vent right? But c'mon! Somebody's gotta shed some light in this mutha fucka! So I've decided to start a thread based on stupid/funny shit that you've done amongst friends/co-workers in the awesome parts of your life.

I'll start; I work for a landscape management company and part of routes entail places that some people aren't exactly the most friendly with. In particular, this one Roger's TV operating station where the manager just seems like he's always having a hard time. This was actually my first time doing this route but the people I were working with with pretty familiar so they warned me that if this guy comes out I should just pretend like I don't know English. As luck would have it, this guy opens the door that I just so happen to be shoveling in front of and yells at me in such an angry voice that I jumped for a quick second. Than, remembering my instructions I say "Je ne parle vous anglais! Je ne parle vous anglais!". This guy looks at me with a puzzled look on his face and says "You don't speak english?" in which I shook my head in response. Than he must have felt bad and went inside. When we were all finished and done we see him in his office window and I just start laughing, he gets up and looks through the window and as we drew him outside and proceeded to drive away. But we did so slowly, because as we watched him read "Sucker... I'm well fluent in english " written in the snow, he lost his shit again. I couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the day, it made my day.

Anybody else got some funny stories they'd like to share?

 

[Swamps]

Well, I have a few funny stories me and my friends have done over the years. When I was a freshman in college, I was working at a grocery store part time to pay rent. Anyway, one night after work one night a few of my friends and I were going to go ride around for a while. Being the ignorant teenager I was, I let my friend drive my car while road shotgun. Little did I know he didn’t have a drivers license. Regardless, we were a little more than rowdy and in town the cops always sat at the court house after hours when there was nothing for them to do really besides cool their heels. Anyway, my friend said he has never been pulled over in his life and I said “oh really?”. As we passed the court house there were two cops sitting there, and so I being the smartass I am hung out the window and yelled “Aye”, like the Fonz. My friend’s eyes got wide and he was laughing looking at me telling me, “brah, you know I ain’t got no license”. As soon as I could so, oh shit we were getting pulled over. The cops yelled at us, searched my car, and wrote my ass a ticket for allowing an unlicensed person to drive. That’s the short story.

 

[Sabretooth]

I'll just throw a quick one in here.

School is boring as fuck so one day in 5th grade, my friend fell asleep in class. My teacher told him to get up but he wouldn't budge, he was completely asleep. I asked my teacher if I could wake him up. I saw my teacher grinning because he knew I would do something mean but he gave me the ok. I walk up to my friend and put my mouth close to his ear and scream "WAKE UP". All of a sudden he jumps a foot in the air and screams "WHAT THE FUCK" and falls back down breathing heavy. The entire class fell out of their chairs laughing and even my teacher couldn't stop. My friend called me an asshole but laughed at himself as well. The class basically never resumed that day because somebody would always laugh.

 

[The Great Cochrane]

School is boring as fuck so one day in 5th grade, my friend fell asleep in class. My teacher told him to get up but he wouldn't budge, he was completely asleep. I asked my teacher if I could wake him up. I saw my teacher grinning because he knew I would do something mean but he gave me the ok. I walk up to my friend and put my mouth close to his ear and scream "WAKE UP". All of a sudden he jumps a foot in the air and screams "WHAT THE FUCK" and falls back down breathing heavy. The entire class fell out of their chairs laughing and even my teacher couldn't stop. My friend called me an asshole but laughed at himself as well. The class basically never resumed that day because somebody would always laugh.

You have a teacher that slept in class and swore in front of students?

That sounds very unprofessional. Sounds like I'd be a better teacher than him.

 

[Sabretooth]

You have a teacher that slept in class and swore in front of students?

That sounds very unprofessional. Sounds like I'd be a better teacher than him.

Are you dense? It was my friend who was sleeping and swore, not the teacher.

 

[The Great Cochrane]

Are you dense? It was my friend who was sleeping and swore, not the teacher.

I prefer Blue.

But now that you mention it, I did kinda read it wrong.

 

[Fuji Vice]

To be fair, I had a prof in University that slept in nearly every class but he was so smart that he'd say one thing and have everyone debating it amongst themselves for two hours while he snoozed. Not a bad gig if you can get it.

 

[Sabretooth]

To be fair, I had a prof in University that slept in nearly every class but he was so smart that he'd say one thing and have everyone debating it amongst themselves for two hours while he snoozed. Not a bad gig if you can get it.

Douchebag :

 

[The Great Cochrane]

To be fair, I had a prof in University that slept in nearly every class but he was so smart that he'd say one thing and have everyone debating it amongst themselves for two hours while he snoozed. Not a bad gig if you can get it.

Yeah but I imagine in University they already know you're an adult and don't bother to baby you anymore.. It's way more free lance (at least it is in college anyways) and most of the stuff you already know. An elementry school teacher has to enlighten young minds, if he was sleeping in the class than, yeah, that would be pretty unprofessional.

However, that is one of a hell of a talent your professor had. What was he teaching if you don't mind me asking?