Dear Dwayne, Go Away

[We Are Legion]

If there is one current rivalry in WWE you absolutely must have an opinion about, it is definitely Wrestlemania's "dream match" between Cena and the first Hollywood celebrity to be involved at the event since Regis Philbin that has actually garnered positive support from WWE's fans, fans who are usually very critical of WWE wasting a slot on the biggest card of the year to promote someone's movie or new dvd. However, this is certainly not the case for Dwayne Johnson who from what I hear, actually used to be a wrestler once upon a time.

Sarcasm aside, the majority of WWE fans seem to be happy to see The Rock back, which is fine and all. Even though his jokes aren't funny anymore, his insults are amateur, and he exaggerates far too often, nostalgia will always sell, particularly when everything else about your product just isn't very good right now. The one thing I'm surprised Dwayne hasn't brought up in his repetitive promos is how no fans during his era ever needed a Hall of Fame legend to periodically return to spice things up and help sell tickets the stars of that era should be selling. That comment alone would bury Cena and the entire locker room he's "fighting for" worse than anything he's said so far. Dwayne's a bit dull-witted (and predictable) these days, but I'm sure he'll stumble across something along those lines eventually. He still has a few weeks to cough it out.

Something I used to find myself struggling to understand before last night was why so many of the current generation's fans voice such negative opinion of the Attitude era, yet one of it's biggest stars generates the most overwhelming crowd support than any wrestler in ages has. But I get it now, the current fans are starting to realize how great it was during that era to hoot and hollar and sing along like idiots at anything even remotely catchy. Catchphrases during the Attitude era were superb, and everyone had at least 3 of them it seemed. The entire era was engineered perfectly for arena effect. Today's era is littered with half-assed T-shirt slogans such as "I'm Awesome", "I'm the Best in the World", "I'm Dolph Ziggler", and so on. But hey, at least the matches are longer now, right?

Regardless, Dwayne's remedial insults towards Cena seem almost like they were constructed by taping random words to a dart board, closing his eyes, and letting the darts decide what he will call Cena this week. "Kung Pow Bitch"? Can you honestly think of any other way someone could have thought that up? Dwayne is much more creative than that, but he knows the fans are happy and satisfied enough just because he's THERE. Then he mentions how ludicrous it is that apparently some people took his comments about "never leaving again" completely literally. Sure, how stupid can these people be? "Never leaving again" clearly only means he would "leave for several months at a time" instead of "several years at a time". Haha, god what a bunch of idiots. e

Though my favorite part of the entire promo was him mocking Cena for calling him out the previous week while he wasn't there... just like Dwayne is doing to Cena at this very moment. "I have a phone, you have my number, but... I don't want to talk to you." Okay? I guess as long as you're bashing Cena, it's not like you have to make sense or anything.

What's truly ironic about this whole article is the fact I bought the Rock's new dvd last night before Raw even started. I haven't had time to watch it yet, but I'm thinking of making an appointment to this evening to cleanse the 2012 version of The Rock from my memory. I'll just be glad when this rivalry is over. It used to be worth it when he took up that much television time, but not when he's only dropping by every few months and the only thing he ever does is talk crap about the exact same person. If Dwayne really wants to "come back", then he needs to get in the title hunt like everyone else and feud with more than one person, and do it consistently. Because right now it feels like just another Hollywood celebrity infecting the company like a bad case of fleas and WWE has been unable to shake those fleas off. These are the same fleas everyone remembered having when they were young. Even though they were a pain in the ass back then too, dammit, they were your fleas. That's pretty much how I feel about Dwayne Johnson.

 

[PHX]

After yesterday was hoping you actually did this explaining your feelings towards Rock being back so it didn't come off as you disliking his comeback for no reason so glad for this. As I've said before I'm a fan of the guy always have been and enjoyed the promo. Same time however and you kind of touched on this that people are just glad he is back so no matter what he says it's gonna be labeled as awesome and this that and the other. He's getting in that Cena area for me now which I was hoping he would never get to where I cringe at some of his jokes. I think Cena does it worse of course but still stuff like Kung Pow Bitch just come off so extremely corny and had Cena has said it I can say with confidence it wouldn't have been funny to the fans. Then the point you brought up about how Cena doesn't say this stuff to his face I'm really glad you brought up because I thought the exact same thing. It made no sense you say how you can't be there every week and that's fine but then you expect Cena to not say a word while you aren't there which is months at a time. Esp considering Cena does everytime Rock is in the building make sure he gets face to face with him. Found it even funnier considering he is mister via satellite saying stuff to people while not in their face.

So yeah the more I think about the more it lessens my liking to the promo which all started when Cena pretty much shat on it with just a few lines. I still liked it and glad it happened and all but I could see why one wouldn't just sit there and eat up every single thing he said.

 

[Deezy]

Do you even remember the promos he was doing in 2000? They were just like the ones he is doing now. Just because you didn't think he was very clever against Cena, well....Look who he is having a battle of wits against. Hardly fair to go all out, when your foe is carrying an unloaded weapon.

So it said "berry Cena" on his wrist. So what? Palinize him for amiryt?

If Rock can generate this type of buzz being dull, it just shows how far down this industry has gone.

 

[We Are Legion]

I hear ya PHX, because anyone who criticizes the Rock must be a troll or an idiot right? Fact is, no one who was butt hurt over my comments last night will even read this because if it doesn't have a bunch of cut-out smiley heads and it's longer than 10 words, it's far too much for them to wrap their heads around. Agreeing with the majority and posting stupid pictures is much easier.

As for Cena, I definitely feel he left on the higher note last night in the end. I've said it before, it's impossible for Rock to keep up with him when Cena is there every week and immersed in the moment. And like you said, he killed Rock's entire 20 minute speech with just a few lines.

And yes deezy, I remember the old promos. It was a different time back then though, and cheap pop tactics weren't as lame. But the buzz he gets I feel is more for the ridiculously hyped match coming up, not so much the content of their promos. Unfortunately, I've come to expect a lot from the Rock, so when he has so much time to plan these promos considering he's not there often, I feel robbed when they are lackluster.

I'll address the Twitter bullshit next week. That's a whole different rant.

 

[The Nicker]

I agree with everything you had to say. Very well-written article here and I do wish Dwayne would do something a little more interesting instead of obsess over Cena's genitalia and his legion of fans. I don't know if you heard it, but the fans are starting to turn on The Rock. Rock shoots and breaks a certain kayfabe just to get a joke out of someone else's expense, and you can tell he died inside when Cena did it right back to him. I loved it.

 

[PHX]

I just like with everything to look at both sides of it and not just ignore stuff. While I thought some of the comments you made in the threads yesterday were silly and seemed like it was to get a rise I got the point of your overall view on Rock's promo. Punk, Triple H, Cena, etc all these guys who are some of the best on the mic period get called out on here for stuff in their promos all the time so I just feel just because we're so happy to see him come back all these years lets not just automatically seem everything he says as classic and great and fuck anybody who thinks differently mindset. I personally like to judge everybody the same but thats just me.

 

[Darth Shizzel]

First off great article

Second I didn't think this was one of the Rocks best promos but I also think there are reasons for that and that is that Vince doesnt want Golden Boy ripped to shreds well I say he needs to lose the gag and really let Cena have it and the guys in the back because there is just too much bullshit going on backstage with people bitching about 1 thing or the other