For my first review, I'll be going over my personal rankings for the Strangers franchise! That's right, all 3 movies
Dead's Movie Reviews
- Thread starter Deadd2009
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Okay, time for another random review! This time....I actually sat down and watched the god awful Netflix reboot of the Munsters, and I'll tell you why it was terrible....right now.
Directed by: Rob Zombie
Starring: Sheri Moon Zombie, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Daniel Roebuck
Before I get this mini review off the ground, I just want to say that I went into this film completely blind, I read no spoilers, I don't read other people's reviews and I didn't see clips other than what was in the trailer. That being said, Sheri Moon Zombie is one of the worst actresses of all time and it's no wonder that she can only get roles in movies that her husband directs. The fact that her and one of the dudes in the Geico caveman commercials starred in a movie together blows my mind.
Now the film...ugh. Somehow this got greenlit and actually got made. The portrayal of Herman Munster is horrendous. He doesn't capture the spirit and cheap humor that the original tv character had, and he can't capture the laugh, then again I don't think anyone can. They made Grandpa into a whiny ass, and Lily is bland as I don't know what. Again, bad choice for actors.
The plot is an origin story (ugh, WHY) on how Lily meets Herman. They end up meeting after he's given the brain of the "2nd smartest man alive" who happens to be dead in which...it's the wrong dude who's brain he acquires. Whoops. Outside of the side plot where some dude named Lester owes money and tries to get the castle sold, it's literally Herman meeting Lily after being exposed on television, getting married, and moving to America after eventually getting evicted.
All in all this felt like the pilot to a television series that got rejected. None of it was funny. None of the jokes stuck. The best character in the entire movie was Dr. Wolfgang, and that's a stretch. I wouldn't recommend seeing this unless you're a huge Munsters fan and NEEDS to see it.
Final Rating: 2 out of 10.
Directed by: Rob Zombie
Starring: Sheri Moon Zombie, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Daniel Roebuck
Before I get this mini review off the ground, I just want to say that I went into this film completely blind, I read no spoilers, I don't read other people's reviews and I didn't see clips other than what was in the trailer. That being said, Sheri Moon Zombie is one of the worst actresses of all time and it's no wonder that she can only get roles in movies that her husband directs. The fact that her and one of the dudes in the Geico caveman commercials starred in a movie together blows my mind.
Now the film...ugh. Somehow this got greenlit and actually got made. The portrayal of Herman Munster is horrendous. He doesn't capture the spirit and cheap humor that the original tv character had, and he can't capture the laugh, then again I don't think anyone can. They made Grandpa into a whiny ass, and Lily is bland as I don't know what. Again, bad choice for actors.
The plot is an origin story (ugh, WHY) on how Lily meets Herman. They end up meeting after he's given the brain of the "2nd smartest man alive" who happens to be dead in which...it's the wrong dude who's brain he acquires. Whoops. Outside of the side plot where some dude named Lester owes money and tries to get the castle sold, it's literally Herman meeting Lily after being exposed on television, getting married, and moving to America after eventually getting evicted.
All in all this felt like the pilot to a television series that got rejected. None of it was funny. None of the jokes stuck. The best character in the entire movie was Dr. Wolfgang, and that's a stretch. I wouldn't recommend seeing this unless you're a huge Munsters fan and NEEDS to see it.
Final Rating: 2 out of 10.
Just finished watching the Rob Zombie "Firefly" trilogy which consisted of House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects and 3 From Hell. I didn't care for these movies going in but since it's Halloween, I haven't seen the first 2 in a while and I haven't seen the last one entirely, I figured I'd give it a shot. Here we go:
3. House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
I get what they were going for, with a bunch of young adults looking for road side attractions and ending up meeting a crazy ass family that wants to kill them. Does that sound like another horror movie franchise that's been out there for years? That's right, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The "Firefly" family comes complete, even with deformed big brother who wears a mask....
Captain Spaulding makes the movie and I wish there was a spinoff on how he became a deranged killer in clown makeup at a roadside gas station. That probably would have been better than looking for the legend of "Dr. Satan". Oh yeah, it goes from Texas Chainsaw to Hills Have Eyes towards the end of the film.
2. The Devil's Rejects (2005)
This is the first of 2 "Texas Chainsaw hits the road" movies and I guess it works. The deranged, violent sheriff makes you feel for the bad guys because he comes off as the actual villain in the movie, complete with 2 hired goons in Machete and Diamond Dallas Page. Yes, you read that right, DDP is a goon for hire in this movie.
Your typical "kidnap a family, and kill them" in the first half of the movie, followed up by running from the law in the 2nd half. I get they're psycho killers, but why are we having them only kidnap and kill ONE family in this movie? They should be causing chaos every where they go. The ending of course is a cliffhanger which Rob Zombie makes you wait 14 more years for the last in the trilogy.
3. 3 From Hell (2019)
The literal best of the series. We know they're deranged serial killers, but the film makers want you to feel for them, especially the sister. They're supposed to be "nice people" while the ones who locked them up and are in charge of them are just as looney as the rest of the group. Yet again, another "kidnap a family" in the first half, roadtrip in the 2nd half type of movie. It worked once before but how many times do we need to see them go on a road trip?
The 2 sequences that stand out in this one? Laughing at the clown peeing himself and the group befriending a little person in the run down hotel in Mexico. This didn't feel like a horror movie, it felt like a thriller where yet again the killers are presented as the "good guys" while the vigilantes are bad.
In reality there should be one more movie to see these people finally get their just due, and this is probably the only "slasher" franchise where they survive in every one. Maybe watch once in a while if you like them saying "fuck" every 5 minutes but I had to power through these. Maybe you'll enjoy them better than I did.
3. House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
I get what they were going for, with a bunch of young adults looking for road side attractions and ending up meeting a crazy ass family that wants to kill them. Does that sound like another horror movie franchise that's been out there for years? That's right, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The "Firefly" family comes complete, even with deformed big brother who wears a mask....
Captain Spaulding makes the movie and I wish there was a spinoff on how he became a deranged killer in clown makeup at a roadside gas station. That probably would have been better than looking for the legend of "Dr. Satan". Oh yeah, it goes from Texas Chainsaw to Hills Have Eyes towards the end of the film.
2. The Devil's Rejects (2005)
This is the first of 2 "Texas Chainsaw hits the road" movies and I guess it works. The deranged, violent sheriff makes you feel for the bad guys because he comes off as the actual villain in the movie, complete with 2 hired goons in Machete and Diamond Dallas Page. Yes, you read that right, DDP is a goon for hire in this movie.
Your typical "kidnap a family, and kill them" in the first half of the movie, followed up by running from the law in the 2nd half. I get they're psycho killers, but why are we having them only kidnap and kill ONE family in this movie? They should be causing chaos every where they go. The ending of course is a cliffhanger which Rob Zombie makes you wait 14 more years for the last in the trilogy.
3. 3 From Hell (2019)
The literal best of the series. We know they're deranged serial killers, but the film makers want you to feel for them, especially the sister. They're supposed to be "nice people" while the ones who locked them up and are in charge of them are just as looney as the rest of the group. Yet again, another "kidnap a family" in the first half, roadtrip in the 2nd half type of movie. It worked once before but how many times do we need to see them go on a road trip?
The 2 sequences that stand out in this one? Laughing at the clown peeing himself and the group befriending a little person in the run down hotel in Mexico. This didn't feel like a horror movie, it felt like a thriller where yet again the killers are presented as the "good guys" while the vigilantes are bad.
In reality there should be one more movie to see these people finally get their just due, and this is probably the only "slasher" franchise where they survive in every one. Maybe watch once in a while if you like them saying "fuck" every 5 minutes but I had to power through these. Maybe you'll enjoy them better than I did.