Soulpower
Guest
SP's Extreeeeme Review 05/08/07
Welcome to this week's review of ECW. At the end of last week it was announced that RVD would get a shot at Vince (and his title) this week, but the powers that be decided to change the match into a 3 on 1 handicap match between Umaga-Vince-Shane vs RVD.
We start with footage from earlier today (that's yesterday) where Lashley shows up and comes up to Estrada who's surrounded by four offciers who clearly aren't wrestlers dressed as cops. If Lashley enters the Arena or touches Estrada he goes to jail (and doesn't pass go, thus not collecting 200 bucks) he turns Armando's wheelchair around and rolls him down the road until Estrada crashes into some trash cans. He then surrenders himself to the police... A black guy willingly gives himself up to the police... I know there's a joke in there somewhere, but I'll avoid it.
The bodies finally hit the floor and we are LIVE from Pittsburgh, PA (Home of crazy former olympic-gold medalists). Cm Punk's music hits and while he enters its announced that at Judgment Day Elijah Burke and CM Punk will face off. Marcus "Don't call me Monty" Cor Von is his opponent.
Marcus Cor Von vs CM Punk (We were once popular in different wrestling organizations match)
As the match start we get BREAKING NEWS.... Edge is the New World Heavyweight Champion (Break the kazoo and 5-second pose!). Meanwhile, Cor Von has been dominating this match from the start. He gets Punk in a Bear Hug and follows it up with a Belly to Belly Suplex. Punk gets tossed outside but when he gets back on the apron he snaps Marcus' head on the ropes. He then hits a Springboard Clothesline and gets a two count. Punk then tries for a tornado DDT but gets thrown over the top. While Cor Von distracted the ref, Burke kicks Punk in the gut. Back insider, Cor Von hits The Pooooounce and gets the pin.
Winner: Marcus Cor Von
We get footage from RAW showing Edge winning back the MITB. In all seriousness this was a good (and the right) move by the WWE due to the injuries that have been plaguing the SD roster.
We go to our first commercial and as we return we get a trailer for... The Condenmed. Which you can buy on DVD as soon as next week.
Sandman comes out (with generic rock music) and he will face Pittsburgh's own Snitsky.
The Sandman vs Snitsky (Wonder If Snitsky Considered a Singapore Cane For Birth Control match)
I'll keep this short and sweet. Snitsky hits a Clotheslone and then follows it up with the Big Boot... Done!
Winner: Snitsky
Vince, Shane and Umaga are watching from backstage and you have to wonder how well Umaga follows in the conversation. The heels spew out some generic insults (We will crush the good guy) and Umaga yells in his native language... Gibberish.
Piss break... Not Extreme Expose, its another commercial... Wait, now it is Extreme Expose and they dance to Britney Spears. I won't even mention if it was bad.
We see footage of Vince winning the ECW title at Backlash and then we see footage from RAW where Vince photoshops himself onto Lashley’s body on WWE Magazine. Bobby then accepts Vince's rematch for JD.
Burke is talking to Striker backstage and takes credit for Cor Von’s victory. He tells him to come to ringside to see how it’s done.
Elijah Burke vs. Brian Major ((The Thing About Twin Tag Teams Is It's Double the Suck)
We finally get an explanation for the 4-up on Burke's tape... Four knuckles upside your head. Burke pretty much dominates, though Brian does get an opportunity to go for a springboard cross body but misses. Burke hits the Elijah Experience (aka The Stroke) and gets the pin.
Winner: Elijah Burke
Commericial time....
After the commercial, Thorn and Ariel are backstage and he wants to know his future. He realizes he wasn’t meant to be in the New Breed and needs some fresh blood. Here comes the money who introduces Umaga then asks the crowd to rise for Vince.
Rob Van Dam’s music hits (there was a commercial in there but you don’t need to know that) and we are ready for our main event.
ECW Champion Vince Mcmahon, Shane Mcmahon and Umaga vs Rob Van Dam (Carbon copy of the Backlash match....match)
After some back and forth offense between Shane and RVD, RVD gets a monkey flip in the corner and then a spinning heel kick. Van Dam dropkicks Umaga and goes after Vince but Shane hits a baseball slide to break it up. RVD fights back and goes for Rolling Thunder but Umaga pulls down the ropes and then throws him into the hollow steps. Back inside, Umaga tags in. He hits a headbutt and then a leg drop. Vince then tags in and goes for the pin but only gets one and tags out to Shane, then to Umaga again. RVD tries to fight back but Umaga hits a Drop (Samoan Drop if someone else had done it). Vince tries tagging again and pinning but no luck and tags Umaga again. Umaga goes for the Ass Crash but RVD has the presence of mind to get a drop toe hold. Shane interferes but gets thrown over the top. Umaga goes for the Samoan Spike but RVD breaks it and knocks Umaga off his feet. He goes for the Five Star but Shane hits him so he lands on his cash and prizes. He then tags in and hits a superplex. Umaga tags in and hits a splash from the top rope and the Samoan Spike. Vince tags in and gets the pin although in a funny little screwup, the ref counted two and then said RVD’s shoulder was up. Vince pinned again and got the three count.
Winners: Vince, Shane and Umaga
The other Originals hit the ring as the show ends.
Best Moment of the Night: The announcement of Edge winning the WHC. And now both Edge and Christian are World Champs (Last time they both held titles, Edge was WWE chamo, not World champ)... Break out the KAZOO!
Worst Moment of the night: The ME as Vince once again feels the need to feed his ego.
Though it may not look like it, this was actually a decent show. It gets a thumbs in the middle from me. The Marcus-Punk match is worth watching and the ME had its moment, but you can skip the rest of the of the show and you won't miss anythng worthwhile.
Links and stuff: Go read these stuff!
Kaedon's Raw Review: http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?p=45877#post45877
Keadon's NSZ #6: http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4474
Xtremebadass' Impact Review: http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4374
And Chris Randell's Backlash Review: http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?p=46322#post46322
That's it and that's all I am out.
Welcome to this week's review of ECW. At the end of last week it was announced that RVD would get a shot at Vince (and his title) this week, but the powers that be decided to change the match into a 3 on 1 handicap match between Umaga-Vince-Shane vs RVD.
We start with footage from earlier today (that's yesterday) where Lashley shows up and comes up to Estrada who's surrounded by four offciers who clearly aren't wrestlers dressed as cops. If Lashley enters the Arena or touches Estrada he goes to jail (and doesn't pass go, thus not collecting 200 bucks) he turns Armando's wheelchair around and rolls him down the road until Estrada crashes into some trash cans. He then surrenders himself to the police... A black guy willingly gives himself up to the police... I know there's a joke in there somewhere, but I'll avoid it.
The bodies finally hit the floor and we are LIVE from Pittsburgh, PA (Home of crazy former olympic-gold medalists). Cm Punk's music hits and while he enters its announced that at Judgment Day Elijah Burke and CM Punk will face off. Marcus "Don't call me Monty" Cor Von is his opponent.
Marcus Cor Von vs CM Punk (We were once popular in different wrestling organizations match)
As the match start we get BREAKING NEWS.... Edge is the New World Heavyweight Champion (Break the kazoo and 5-second pose!). Meanwhile, Cor Von has been dominating this match from the start. He gets Punk in a Bear Hug and follows it up with a Belly to Belly Suplex. Punk gets tossed outside but when he gets back on the apron he snaps Marcus' head on the ropes. He then hits a Springboard Clothesline and gets a two count. Punk then tries for a tornado DDT but gets thrown over the top. While Cor Von distracted the ref, Burke kicks Punk in the gut. Back insider, Cor Von hits The Pooooounce and gets the pin.
Winner: Marcus Cor Von
We get footage from RAW showing Edge winning back the MITB. In all seriousness this was a good (and the right) move by the WWE due to the injuries that have been plaguing the SD roster.
We go to our first commercial and as we return we get a trailer for... The Condenmed. Which you can buy on DVD as soon as next week.
Sandman comes out (with generic rock music) and he will face Pittsburgh's own Snitsky.
The Sandman vs Snitsky (Wonder If Snitsky Considered a Singapore Cane For Birth Control match)
I'll keep this short and sweet. Snitsky hits a Clotheslone and then follows it up with the Big Boot... Done!
Winner: Snitsky
Vince, Shane and Umaga are watching from backstage and you have to wonder how well Umaga follows in the conversation. The heels spew out some generic insults (We will crush the good guy) and Umaga yells in his native language... Gibberish.
Piss break... Not Extreme Expose, its another commercial... Wait, now it is Extreme Expose and they dance to Britney Spears. I won't even mention if it was bad.
We see footage of Vince winning the ECW title at Backlash and then we see footage from RAW where Vince photoshops himself onto Lashley’s body on WWE Magazine. Bobby then accepts Vince's rematch for JD.
Burke is talking to Striker backstage and takes credit for Cor Von’s victory. He tells him to come to ringside to see how it’s done.
Elijah Burke vs. Brian Major ((The Thing About Twin Tag Teams Is It's Double the Suck)
We finally get an explanation for the 4-up on Burke's tape... Four knuckles upside your head. Burke pretty much dominates, though Brian does get an opportunity to go for a springboard cross body but misses. Burke hits the Elijah Experience (aka The Stroke) and gets the pin.
Winner: Elijah Burke
Commericial time....
After the commercial, Thorn and Ariel are backstage and he wants to know his future. He realizes he wasn’t meant to be in the New Breed and needs some fresh blood. Here comes the money who introduces Umaga then asks the crowd to rise for Vince.
Rob Van Dam’s music hits (there was a commercial in there but you don’t need to know that) and we are ready for our main event.
ECW Champion Vince Mcmahon, Shane Mcmahon and Umaga vs Rob Van Dam (Carbon copy of the Backlash match....match)
After some back and forth offense between Shane and RVD, RVD gets a monkey flip in the corner and then a spinning heel kick. Van Dam dropkicks Umaga and goes after Vince but Shane hits a baseball slide to break it up. RVD fights back and goes for Rolling Thunder but Umaga pulls down the ropes and then throws him into the hollow steps. Back inside, Umaga tags in. He hits a headbutt and then a leg drop. Vince then tags in and goes for the pin but only gets one and tags out to Shane, then to Umaga again. RVD tries to fight back but Umaga hits a Drop (Samoan Drop if someone else had done it). Vince tries tagging again and pinning but no luck and tags Umaga again. Umaga goes for the Ass Crash but RVD has the presence of mind to get a drop toe hold. Shane interferes but gets thrown over the top. Umaga goes for the Samoan Spike but RVD breaks it and knocks Umaga off his feet. He goes for the Five Star but Shane hits him so he lands on his cash and prizes. He then tags in and hits a superplex. Umaga tags in and hits a splash from the top rope and the Samoan Spike. Vince tags in and gets the pin although in a funny little screwup, the ref counted two and then said RVD’s shoulder was up. Vince pinned again and got the three count.
Winners: Vince, Shane and Umaga
The other Originals hit the ring as the show ends.
Best Moment of the Night: The announcement of Edge winning the WHC. And now both Edge and Christian are World Champs (Last time they both held titles, Edge was WWE chamo, not World champ)... Break out the KAZOO!
Worst Moment of the night: The ME as Vince once again feels the need to feed his ego.
Though it may not look like it, this was actually a decent show. It gets a thumbs in the middle from me. The Marcus-Punk match is worth watching and the ME had its moment, but you can skip the rest of the of the show and you won't miss anythng worthwhile.
Links and stuff: Go read these stuff!
Kaedon's Raw Review: http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?p=45877#post45877
Keadon's NSZ #6: http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4474
Xtremebadass' Impact Review: http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4374
And Chris Randell's Backlash Review: http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?p=46322#post46322
That's it and that's all I am out.
