Number 1: Wrestlers can't talk
When was the last time someone cut a promo that people remembered? I seriously can't remember. Most promos go in one ear and out the other. There's nothing to remember about them. Very few wrestlers are able to grab the audience with words. And that's part of the reason none of the mid carders have broken through to the main event. Part of being a draw and a main eventer is being able to talk the people into the arena and captivate the audience simply by talking. I'll freely admit that Miz is probably the best talker out of all the midcarders. Blame who you want for that-writers, wrestlers, whatever but I'll say one thing you can't blame it on which brings me to.
YES.
The 80's and 90's had promos to remember. The last promos that were any good beyond that were from The Rock, imo. After he left, I can't remember one fucking promo. Sure, we had a few that brought some laughs, but I haven't laughed since the moment I saw it because I don't remember what the hell was even said.
Number 2: The PG rating is not the problem
Seriously. If you think the PG rating is the biggest problem about WWE you're so wrong it's not even funny. If you think that it is impossible for a wrestling show to be entertaining and profitable with a PG rating I give you two examples-Chikara (which is way cleaner than WWE) and WCW (Oh yes they were PG during the height of their popularity). The PG rating means two things-you can't use any of George Carlin's 7 dirty words and no insane violence. Considering that WWE is completely safe now that's not a problem. It's safer which means wrestlers careers should (keyword: should) last longer. As far as the no blood rule goes that's the only thing I don't like about WWE being PG. However, I do feel that blood should be a rare thing in wrestling so that it has more meaning when it actually happened. If you have a wrestling show and in the third match on the card someone blades and then in the main event someone else blades do you even care if the main event has blood if you just saw blood earlier? As far as wrestlers not being able to sound like New Jack or Zandig when their cutting promos that's perfectly fine by me. All it means is that wrestlers have to be more creative with their promos. Now I know what you're thinking if the WWE being PG isn't the problem what is? Well...
I've been preaching this for AGES. I think most people saw my rant in a thread about it so I wont repeat myself but it pisses me off when people fucking blame the rating. THE PG RATING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SHITTY STORYLINES. The 80's. Fucking do research, people. It was catered to KIDS and the 80's = one of wrestling's biggest eras, if not THE biggest era. It brought wrestling into the mainstream full force. 80's wrestling>>>>all, so fuck off.
Number 3: WWE is as stale as a week old doughnut.
When I don't even have to watch Raw and I can predict over half of the segments that take place something is wrong. It's the same thing every week and that's the problem. There's nothing to get people excited or hook them to tune in next week. Even with a different guest host each week it's always the same-Guest host makes a speech to open raw;John Cena talks about training, saying his raps, and taking his vitamins; DX has a stupid skit; John Cena squashes a once promising mid carder; and ad infinitum. It's like being stuck in the movie Groundhog Day. Not to mention we've seen the same 6 people in the main event scene for the past 4 years with very few outside exceptions. Holy fuck. If you thought WCW was bad having the same guys in the main event all the time WCW ain't got shit on the WWE right now. So why is WWE so stale? Here's the answer and it brings me to number four.
It's funny you say that because I honestly sit here and call shit before it happens. When something gets predictable, there's a problem. We can all call it when Cena is going to come out, when DX is gonna come out, when Orton is gonna come out, when Kofi is gonna come out, when Batista is gonna come out.....fuck off with the predictable shit and SURPRISE me. When Sheamus won, I was SURPRISED. That was the first and only time in YEARS that wrestling has surprised me. TRY HARDER.
Number four: The writing teams suck
This one is really no big secret. WWE's writing staff is so incompetent and full of idiots it defies description. That's why nobody has broken through to the main event. That's why WWE is so stale. The people writing for WWE have no clue how to write wrestling shows. The same could be said about TNA. TNA's writing has been piss poor for a long time now. There is no logic to be found anywhere in a TNA show. One week two people will be mortal enemies next week their teaming together and a week after that they're mortal enemies again. It's like watching a show written by ADD patients. WWE is the same way except with pushes. One week their pushing somebody the next they got them jobbing to hornswoggle. It makes no sense and really desensitizes the audience because it makes people think “why should I care to get behind somebody if they aren't going to do anything with it?†If WWE wants to fix their lack of legit main eventers this is what they need to do. Put some of their employees in the crowd in different parts of the arenas with notepads to keep track of which wrestlers get the best reactions.
Yep, everyone knows this one, except VINCE, it seems. I'd love it if he held a meeting with his writers and told them to think of better storylines or think of packing their shit and going home without a job. Both WWE and TNA have been so random with their feuds and they do it so fast, the people feuding don't even get a chance to build it up. They start like 2 weeks before they fight in a main event and, half the time, no one even knows why the fuck they are feuding because it just 'happens'.
Number five: Using a band-aid to fix a shotgun wound
Allow me to explain. First off all this is mainly a gripe aimed at TNA. And this one has been going on for quite some time. TNA seems to think the solution to their problems is to sign /Insert major star dujour here/. Newsflash: it's not. Let's take a trip back to the year 1997. The Spice Girls are at the top of the billboard charts, Seinfeld is a top rated show and oh yeah there was that whole Bret Hart jumping to WCW along with the screwjob thing. When Bret Hart jumped to WCW everyone thought it was the end for WWE. In reality it should have been. Bret Hart for all intentions should have been the biggest babyface in the history of wrestling in WCW. Instead for whatever reason (translation: politics) Bret's WCW run was completely botched. Now what does this have to do with TNA? The main point of going off on that tangent was that just because someone was successful and a draw for one company doesn't mean they'll do the same thing with another. We've seen the same thing over and over and over again every time TNA signs some big name thinking that's what's gonna push them to the next level. How many times do I have to explain this? You can sign all the big names you want (believe me TNA is certainly trying to) it doesn't make an ounce of difference if A: the storylines are crap or B: the wrestling is crap. Whether you like it or not wrestling is storyline and feud driven. Without good storylines and feuds to hook the audience ratings will stay the same because there's nothing to pull people in.
TNA has always been WWE2/WCW2 for me. They pick up all these previous WWE/WCW stars and try their luck with them. Just look at TNA now. Wow, is this going to be fucking NwO V2? It's ridiculous. We've been there, done that, find something new and get these old fat, wasted fucks out of here and push the younger guys. No one gives a shit about guys like Kevin Nash anymore.
Number six: The lost art of the feud
There was a time when two wrestlers could have a feud and both wrestlers end up being held in a higher regard. Same thing with pushes. It seems to me unless somebody wins every match they're getting buried. This is professional wrestling-since when did winning get to be so important? I thought the point was to entertain the crowd so they want to come back either to the arena or to the television shows. In a well done feud it really does not matter who wins and loses because both parties end up looking better than they did going in. At least that's the way it should be. Now it seems like feuds are either abandoned for no reason, one wrestler ends up completely buried, or the payoff fizzles. Remember when you used to watch feuds with that “oh shit son, this isn't gonna end unless somebody dies†mentality? It was great. It made you want to tune in to see what would happen next. Now feuds have no meaning unless it's for a title. Look at an average WWE payperview and play a game I like to call "spot the feud that doesn't involve a belt". Very rarely will a feud get a blowoff match (or a match period) on a payperview.
I already covered a bit of my gripe with feuds above but, yes, they are done so shitty, it's not even funny. They just stop everything if the feud isn't going as planned. How the hell do you just stop it? If it isn't working, at least try to end it somehow instead of just stopping it and throwing the people feuding into other random feuds and leaving people scratching their heads.
Everything with wrestling now is wrong. I had my hopes up near the end of last year because we had new shit happening like Orton and Kofi, Punk and Hardy and of course the random Sheamus as champ. I thought that these events would be the beginning of an upside to wrestling and we'd be over the shitty slump but instead, what do we get? More fucking Hornswoggle and a slew of some of the shittiest hosts on the planet.
I think wrestling was better before this splitting of the brands shit. I understand the upsides of it and more guys get more TV time (even though we still see 90% of the same fucking wrestlers on each show) but at least they had more wrestlers to work with in order to create new storylines. The rosters are limited. Fuck that shit. Have one big roster where people feud with whoever instead of limiting it. I'd love to see shit like Christian vs Punk. Just anything NEW and FRESH.
