Soulpower
Guest
SP's Extreeeeme Review 04/10/07
After last week's surprisingly good ECW, we got an uninspired effort this week.
The bodies hit the floor and we are live from Providence, Rhode Island. Vince's music hits to start the show and recaps what happened at WM (because you probably forgot), pimps Austin's movie and says that Lashley is banned from the building (Great!). He also says that he'll make the fans (and Lashley's) life a living hell.. Vince is already making fans life a living hell, its called John Cena, WWE champion.
Backstage we see Punk warming up and RVD comes up to him and tells him that's he's a perfect fit for the Originals (Too easy), Elijah Burke interrupts Van Dam and says that Punk belongs in the New Breed. He then announces that Punk will make his decision next week, but Punk cuts him off and says he'll make his decision this week.... You can just feel the extreme drama.
Time for a commercial.... yeah.
We come back and Tommy Dreamer comes out to the Originals theme music (because he can't afford his own theme music) and he'll be facing Kevin Thorn.
Kevin Thorn vs Tommy Dreamer (Lady and The Vamp vs Guy with broken back)
Dreamer is taken down by a forearm but Thorn misses a leg-drop. Dreamer throws Thorn outside and rams his head into the steel steps. Thorn takes over and throws Tommy back in the ring only to apply... AN ORTONLOCK!! Thorn then hits a sit down Spinebuster but only gets the two count. Dreamer makes his patented baby-face comeback and hits the same Spinebuster that Thorn used and only gets the two as well. Thorn manages to get Dreamer to the top rope and hits the Dark Kiss for the win.
Your winner... Kevin Thorn!!
The Hardcore Ho bags are applying make up when Snitsky comes over and stares at Layla... Careful Layla, Snitsky like to suck toes.
Later tonight Rob Van Dam will face Marcus 'Monty Brown" Cor Von... And ECW will air from Italy next week.
Time for.... Another commercial!
Back from commercial and we get a behind the scenes look at The Condemned (With Austin if you didn't know). Stevie Richards is in the ring for a rematch against Punk. Matt Striker and The Sandman come on down to get a closer view of the action. But before we start the match...
Its time for another fucking commercial.
CM Punk vs Stevie Richards (Didn't know jobbers had rematch clauses)
We come back from commercial and Punk has Stevie in a front face lock which he turns into a backbreaker. Punk misses a crossbody and Richards goes to work on Punk's ribs (MMM, ribs). A Suplex and a two count for Richards. Stevie tries to keep control of the momentum but comes back and hits the Knee/Bulldog combo in the corner and gets a two count. Punk goes off the ropes but Sandman hits Punk with the Singapore Cane (Accidentally of course) as he was aiming for Striker. Richards goes for a roll-up but Punk counters and gets the pin.
Winner: CM Punk
And now for the only thing worse than commercials.... EXTREEEEME EXPOSEEEE! When it ends Snitsky comes out to the ring and scares the gals away, except for Layla who couldn't get out of the ring for some reason. Out of nowhere Balls comes out and clocks Snitsky with a chair but Snitsjy no-sells it. He then hits the Big Boot (Which barely hit Balls) and knocks Mahoney out cold.
Marcus Cor Von w/ Elijah Burke vs Rob Van Dam w/ Sabu (From TNA to this looks like a downgrade)
Cor Von takes the early advantage and hits a neckbreaker. RVD bounces and hits a leg scissors pin for the two. Cor Von gets up and hits a belly to belly Suplex. RVD gets up and tries for the Enzuiguri but Cor Von dodges it and hits a wicked looking Release German Suplex. Cor Von then decides to borrow Randy Orton's move set (Translation: A lot of chinlocks). RVD comes back with a few clotheslines and then a kick from the second rope. Cor Von gets up as he went for the Rolling Thunder so Van Dam knocks him down again and hits a leg drop.RVD goes to the top rope and hits a kick. Burke attacks Sabu and hits a DDT on the outside. RVD is distracted enough for Cor Von to hit his GENERIC BODY BLOCK OF DOOM and gets the pin!
Winner: Marcus Cor Von
CM Punk comes out to the ring, shakes Burke's hand raises arms with them. Striker and Thorn join and they hoist Punk up on their shoulders as we go off the air.... That was an anti-climatic turn, but heel Punk rules and hopefully he'll be allowed to cut a great promo next week.
Overall, this show was good at advancing storylines but every match was boring (Sans the Pounce on Van Dam). For that reason, this shows gets a thumbs in the middle... And ECW needs more wrestlers on their roster. The reason Lashely doesn't feud with ECW heels is because the only ones available are either feuding with the originals and the other is Snitsky.
Best Moment Of The Night: No Lashley in sight and The Pounce on RVD
Worst moment of the night: The rest of the show... Don't get me wrong, I wanted Punk to go heel but I was expecting something better.
This is the point where I would pimp other columns, but since no one else has done anything... I'll just pimp Kaedon's column becaue he actually wrote one.
http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3162
That is all for this week's column, I'll be back next week and I'm out.
After last week's surprisingly good ECW, we got an uninspired effort this week.
The bodies hit the floor and we are live from Providence, Rhode Island. Vince's music hits to start the show and recaps what happened at WM (because you probably forgot), pimps Austin's movie and says that Lashley is banned from the building (Great!). He also says that he'll make the fans (and Lashley's) life a living hell.. Vince is already making fans life a living hell, its called John Cena, WWE champion.
Backstage we see Punk warming up and RVD comes up to him and tells him that's he's a perfect fit for the Originals (Too easy), Elijah Burke interrupts Van Dam and says that Punk belongs in the New Breed. He then announces that Punk will make his decision next week, but Punk cuts him off and says he'll make his decision this week.... You can just feel the extreme drama.
Time for a commercial.... yeah.
We come back and Tommy Dreamer comes out to the Originals theme music (because he can't afford his own theme music) and he'll be facing Kevin Thorn.
Kevin Thorn vs Tommy Dreamer (Lady and The Vamp vs Guy with broken back)
Dreamer is taken down by a forearm but Thorn misses a leg-drop. Dreamer throws Thorn outside and rams his head into the steel steps. Thorn takes over and throws Tommy back in the ring only to apply... AN ORTONLOCK!! Thorn then hits a sit down Spinebuster but only gets the two count. Dreamer makes his patented baby-face comeback and hits the same Spinebuster that Thorn used and only gets the two as well. Thorn manages to get Dreamer to the top rope and hits the Dark Kiss for the win.
Your winner... Kevin Thorn!!
The Hardcore Ho bags are applying make up when Snitsky comes over and stares at Layla... Careful Layla, Snitsky like to suck toes.
Later tonight Rob Van Dam will face Marcus 'Monty Brown" Cor Von... And ECW will air from Italy next week.
Time for.... Another commercial!
Back from commercial and we get a behind the scenes look at The Condemned (With Austin if you didn't know). Stevie Richards is in the ring for a rematch against Punk. Matt Striker and The Sandman come on down to get a closer view of the action. But before we start the match...
Its time for another fucking commercial.
CM Punk vs Stevie Richards (Didn't know jobbers had rematch clauses)
We come back from commercial and Punk has Stevie in a front face lock which he turns into a backbreaker. Punk misses a crossbody and Richards goes to work on Punk's ribs (MMM, ribs). A Suplex and a two count for Richards. Stevie tries to keep control of the momentum but comes back and hits the Knee/Bulldog combo in the corner and gets a two count. Punk goes off the ropes but Sandman hits Punk with the Singapore Cane (Accidentally of course) as he was aiming for Striker. Richards goes for a roll-up but Punk counters and gets the pin.
Winner: CM Punk
And now for the only thing worse than commercials.... EXTREEEEME EXPOSEEEE! When it ends Snitsky comes out to the ring and scares the gals away, except for Layla who couldn't get out of the ring for some reason. Out of nowhere Balls comes out and clocks Snitsky with a chair but Snitsjy no-sells it. He then hits the Big Boot (Which barely hit Balls) and knocks Mahoney out cold.
Marcus Cor Von w/ Elijah Burke vs Rob Van Dam w/ Sabu (From TNA to this looks like a downgrade)
Cor Von takes the early advantage and hits a neckbreaker. RVD bounces and hits a leg scissors pin for the two. Cor Von gets up and hits a belly to belly Suplex. RVD gets up and tries for the Enzuiguri but Cor Von dodges it and hits a wicked looking Release German Suplex. Cor Von then decides to borrow Randy Orton's move set (Translation: A lot of chinlocks). RVD comes back with a few clotheslines and then a kick from the second rope. Cor Von gets up as he went for the Rolling Thunder so Van Dam knocks him down again and hits a leg drop.RVD goes to the top rope and hits a kick. Burke attacks Sabu and hits a DDT on the outside. RVD is distracted enough for Cor Von to hit his GENERIC BODY BLOCK OF DOOM and gets the pin!
Winner: Marcus Cor Von
CM Punk comes out to the ring, shakes Burke's hand raises arms with them. Striker and Thorn join and they hoist Punk up on their shoulders as we go off the air.... That was an anti-climatic turn, but heel Punk rules and hopefully he'll be allowed to cut a great promo next week.
Overall, this show was good at advancing storylines but every match was boring (Sans the Pounce on Van Dam). For that reason, this shows gets a thumbs in the middle... And ECW needs more wrestlers on their roster. The reason Lashely doesn't feud with ECW heels is because the only ones available are either feuding with the originals and the other is Snitsky.
Best Moment Of The Night: No Lashley in sight and The Pounce on RVD
Worst moment of the night: The rest of the show... Don't get me wrong, I wanted Punk to go heel but I was expecting something better.
This is the point where I would pimp other columns, but since no one else has done anything... I'll just pimp Kaedon's column becaue he actually wrote one.
http://www.impactwrestling.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3162
That is all for this week's column, I'll be back next week and I'm out.
