Axis
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So I Met Sting on Sunday...
Read the thread before you think about moving it.
Every Sunday me and some buds go out to some homeless camps to hang out with some homeless people. We're trying to find them jobs and motivation to work; two of them are on their own feet now. It's pretty incredible to go out there and see how people without homes are just like us, only more humble.
Anyway, not the point. All right, so on Sunday we went out there and some guy, Michael, told us that Sting was in the back of the woods. At first we thought he was drunk, but how wrong we were. He explained that there was a guy who thought he was Sting was in the back of the woods. I kind of thought it was a joke. Maybe he was just a Sting fan?
We trucked to the back of the woods and there he was. His head was actually like Sting's only he was Native American. He was shorter. He was weaker. He had a weird look in his eye. Obviously it wasn't Sting. When we walked up, Raven (This was just a nickname, Raven didn't think he was the wrestler), Pirate, and Spyder introduced to Sting. I wish I was kidding. "Sting" looked up at us and, in a strong Indian accent, asked if we wanted autographs.
Autographs. From a homeless guy that thinks he's Sting. Why not?
We mostly accepted his offer because they had knifes and shit, plus we didn't want to be Stinger Splashed in the woods behind the Save Rite.
He pulled out a huge piled of pictures, each about 6 by 4 inches. These pictures really were Sting, half in his black and white attire, the other half in the red. He literally took 7 minutes for each autograph in which he wrote:
He had my friend spell his name (Tom) letter by letter for him. I DID feel bad, but it's still fucking hilarious.
So, "Sting" stood up and revealed that he had Scorpian Boots on.
.....!?!?
Where the FUCK does somebody buy Scorpian Boots?! Not to mention the fact that he can barely buy food. He walked into his tent and came back out wearing a Stingesque trench coat. I had to use all my might not to explode into laughter.
It gets better. See, it ends up "Sting" must really be catching up with his TNA programing. He told us that when he signs his new contract with Universal Studios, he'll make millions of dollars. Once he beats Jeff Jarrett, he's going to buy all of the homeless people a generator to get running water. This is what he said. I'm adding nothing.
When we went to leave, he told us to "be strong". He then said, and I quote, "On the Indian Reservation, I always learned not to let ******s, spicks, and wetbacks get in my way. I must drive myself from within."
Oh God.
He's fucking evil Sting.
As we were leaving I turned and asked him, "So, I know you go by Sting, but what's your real name?"
His answer:
"Steve Bordon"
Oh, that cleared it up. I can't wait to go back. Hopefully he hasn't fought Jeff Jarrett yet so he's still in there.
Read the thread before you think about moving it.
Every Sunday me and some buds go out to some homeless camps to hang out with some homeless people. We're trying to find them jobs and motivation to work; two of them are on their own feet now. It's pretty incredible to go out there and see how people without homes are just like us, only more humble.
Anyway, not the point. All right, so on Sunday we went out there and some guy, Michael, told us that Sting was in the back of the woods. At first we thought he was drunk, but how wrong we were. He explained that there was a guy who thought he was Sting was in the back of the woods. I kind of thought it was a joke. Maybe he was just a Sting fan?
We trucked to the back of the woods and there he was. His head was actually like Sting's only he was Native American. He was shorter. He was weaker. He had a weird look in his eye. Obviously it wasn't Sting. When we walked up, Raven (This was just a nickname, Raven didn't think he was the wrestler), Pirate, and Spyder introduced to Sting. I wish I was kidding. "Sting" looked up at us and, in a strong Indian accent, asked if we wanted autographs.
Autographs. From a homeless guy that thinks he's Sting. Why not?
We mostly accepted his offer because they had knifes and shit, plus we didn't want to be Stinger Splashed in the woods behind the Save Rite.
He pulled out a huge piled of pictures, each about 6 by 4 inches. These pictures really were Sting, half in his black and white attire, the other half in the red. He literally took 7 minutes for each autograph in which he wrote:
STING
ECW nWo
WWE vs TNA
To---->Tom
ECW nWo
WWE vs TNA
To---->Tom
He had my friend spell his name (Tom) letter by letter for him. I DID feel bad, but it's still fucking hilarious.
So, "Sting" stood up and revealed that he had Scorpian Boots on.
.....!?!?
Where the FUCK does somebody buy Scorpian Boots?! Not to mention the fact that he can barely buy food. He walked into his tent and came back out wearing a Stingesque trench coat. I had to use all my might not to explode into laughter.
It gets better. See, it ends up "Sting" must really be catching up with his TNA programing. He told us that when he signs his new contract with Universal Studios, he'll make millions of dollars. Once he beats Jeff Jarrett, he's going to buy all of the homeless people a generator to get running water. This is what he said. I'm adding nothing.
When we went to leave, he told us to "be strong". He then said, and I quote, "On the Indian Reservation, I always learned not to let ******s, spicks, and wetbacks get in my way. I must drive myself from within."
Oh God.
He's fucking evil Sting.
As we were leaving I turned and asked him, "So, I know you go by Sting, but what's your real name?"
His answer:
"Steve Bordon"
Oh, that cleared it up. I can't wait to go back. Hopefully he hasn't fought Jeff Jarrett yet so he's still in there.