Bloody Wraps - May 11: It's Like Mad Max Without the Anti-Semite

[WrestlingSmarks News]

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It's Day 5 of Brent and me running the site without the guiding hand of one Kid Nathan, and things are not well at the Bloody Elbow offices. Brent paid the electricity bill to the order of "Third Reich Electric" for an amount of "All the Dirty Money in the Catholic Church." We've been without power for three days, and we're running the site on the waning batteries of our laptops. Leland's stuck in the fetal position watching M-1 Challenge events on endless loop. Bishop spontaneously grew six additional limbs and heaved himself onto the ice at Joe Louis Arena. The community moderators have formed an anarcho-syndicalist group, and I fear plans of an eventual coup d'etat against the mighty triumverate. The future is bleak.

• Chael Sonnen's back on suspension in California. Cage Side Seats offered up an anthology of Sonnen's work, featuring lots of rare B-sides and alternate tracks. Dr. Mark Czarnecki was spotted trying on new t-shirts in preparation for Chael's upcoming hearing in Los Angeles.
• The sister of the late Charles "Mask" Lewis is suing the remaining members of TapouT after accusing the men of distributing vials of her brother's ashes to "several unknown persons." This only reinforces my belief that you should never hand over the remains of your loved ones to men in face paint.
• Anton probably regrets the day he decided to collect tweets after today's UFC fighter summit.
• Leland Roling speculated on the future of Bellator, which is a lot like speculating on the future of a dog with a spike driven through its skull.
• Matt Bishop called for the UFC to say "buh bye" to Strikeforce at its earliest convenience.
• Zuffa inserted Sean Shelby as Strikeforce matchmaker and renamed Scott Coker "Five of Eight."
• Vancouver's athletic commission approved use of cagside monitors for judges. No word on whether or not the monitors will have protection against mouthbreathing.
• The UFC granted Dan Hardy his wish to fight Chris Lytle. Dan has to be happy fighting someone who likes to stand and bang and refuses to fight on the floor. Oh wait, it says here that NINETEEN of Lytle's THIRTY victories are by submission.