Awesome show, maybe even 9/10

[Dolph'sZiggler]

Sup nerds. I typed the title for shock value, but really I haven't started watching yet. I'm watching the intro. and what a terrible intro theme it is.

__________

Vegas. Crowd looks like a bunch of dweebs.

__________

Mandela Bay. Guess who has 2 thumbs and watched his favorite MMA fighter get screwed out of his UFC title at that arena in the only UFC event he ever attended live?

Spoiler

This guy :urm:
Great fight, bad decision. 48-47 Rampage all day. He takes R1 easily along with 3 and 4 (5 is debatable.) Forrest wins 2 handily but it's not 10-8 IMO. He just kicks him once in the leg and then lays on him for 5 minutes.

Re-watching this fight for the billionth just pushed watching Raw back 45 minutes lmao.

__________

Okay, back to Raw. Who will open the show? Punk? Cena? Can't wait

lmao Punk/Big Show main event.

annnnd Punk opens arker: . Don't care about this noob. Crayo why is the Joseph Park smiley under 'parker' you noob?

Oh look the cum guzzler Punk still thinks he is the best in the world. How cute. :facepalm1: Corny ass promo. This is really shitty. Wonder if Cena or Big Show will interrupt him. Well, que Big Show's music just as I finished typing that.

Suffice to say he isn't really saving this awful segment. Big Show isn't any worse than Punk in this awful exchange, but both are incredibly lame.

"I'm the WWE Champion.. and your not (na na). and what you are.. is a bitter.. underachieving, albeit well paid, shell.. of a man that just happens to be a giant."- Punk

sums up this awful opener. Punk is just cringe worthy

Surprised Cena didn't come out, but I guess we'll get a SUPER AWESOME Cena segment to start the second hour.

__________

Oh look it's Truth, Kofi, and Little Jimmy. Remember when Little Jimmy was hilarious because it stood for the average 5 year old mark fan.. too bad Truth turning face somehow turned that into becoming his imaginary friend... :shock: . Anyway. nobody cares about those noobs

__________

Oh look the penny belts are up for grabs. Maybe the 10th time they've been defended on TV/PPV in 2012.

I'm sure a lot of you noobs would mark for the 'prime time players' to win the titles, but they are meaningless and don't get you extra tv time anyway. So if you marked for them winning (assuming they do) then you are a mark.

Darren Young is a boring motherfucker in the ring. Kofi's a badass though. AW is just fucking annoying. R-Truth's dancing bullshit moveset is vomit inducing.

Following the typical WWE Tag team match script after the break.. looks like Truth will be getting the hot tag. how exciting. AW combs Darren Young's mini-fro. I was almost entertained by that. Kofi dives for the tag. R-Truth cleans house. Botches a DDT.

Oh look, Kofi/Truth retained. I assumed their time was up because I never see them anymore and WWE seems to like this new team. Oh well, like I said, doesn't make a difference for either team. Boring match.


__________

AJ/Bryan. No comment. (If I had one though it would be something like "omg, so boring. lol ttyl gtg." .)

Don't want to see that lame ass match that is being built on the Bryan/AJ tension. get this shit out of my face. I guess they will use this to keep DB relevant but just remove Punk from the equation? They will beat this dead horse until Bryan eventually starts to suffer from it. Punk's lucky he is off that sinking ship

__________

Zack Ryder. Lol, here comes ADR. ATTN: WWE. Having ADR squash Ryder does nothing for ADR and looks bad for Ryder. Why bother with this.

Crowd is all like 'lol, we don't care'

oh look ADR is beating the shit out of him. Shocking. Match lasted 90 seconds.

Now bare with me here but I think I've got a pretty good understand of WWE"s master plan here. You see, ADR isn't over. He can't get heat. But Zack Ryder is over. So if ADR beat up Ryder so easily, now fans will hate him! Heat central. Great move WWE, you magnificent sons of bitches!

Rey Mysterio return? He must have been smoking too much weed again because the 1,000th Raw is next week.

List of returns I'd mark for: Henry, Barrett, Brock.

Rey is not on that list. Crowd seems to dig it though. w/e, like I said at the beginning, it's a bunch of dweebs. Del Rio/Mysterio at Summerslam will be nice though. ADR obv will rape Rey's heaps

__________

That Heath Slater legends recap was almost bad enough to make me stop liking Slater. The thing is that's what makes him great, he walks the line of being so bad he's amazing and so bad that he is unwatchabley shitty. Well done Heath, well done.

__________

Annnnnnnd more Slater.

Rikishi? You won't catch me marking for this fat fuck. Not bad, but after Vader, Sid, DDP, you trot out Rikishi? yawn. I'm sure he will stink face and everyone laughs and smiles when he dances after. Okay, he Samoan Spiked his ass, that was nice to see a tribute to Umaga.

Usos with Rikishi? Not bad, could get them more over. Those two should probably be tag champs, or at least should have been at some point considering how awful the division is and how solid they are.

__________

So Eve teams up with Miz? Heels vs heels. But really this is just another step towards D-Bry turning face.

Miz's new haircut is a massive improvement over his gay ass fauxhawk. It probably gets Maryse pretty wet.

I expect a boring ass match until whatever happens between AJ & DB happens. Miz no sold AJ's drop kick. The ol' partner reverses the small package trick. And here comes the soap opera.

this motherfucker did not just fucking propose again. Fuck. This. Shit. I would beat a motherfucker in the face with a shovel that is writing this goddamn storyline. Bitch said yes. Fuckin great. This is pathetic. Hope you enjoy this you assholes who like this story. Fucking ENJOY

__________

Rock/Austin feud where Rock tossed his ass off a bridge. I marked so hard for that as a kid.

__________

LMFAO. Wedding segment on the 1,000th Raw. BEST EP IN CENTURIES OMG. Fuckin awful

__________

Swaggie time? Who needs a W tonight?

Rymotherfuckingback. I can dig this. Why was that not a real match? tf. Typical bullshit from WWE.

__________

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit. It's Dolph Ziggler time. This puts a smile on my face. He's looking quite dapper par ushe of course. Mostly cheers when he says he will be champ. Nothing heelish at all about this promo, which is always my complaint. Did WWE Creative even bother to write Dolph a promo or did they just google 'generic promo to have wrestler cut after winning MiTB contract' ?

Jericho? My mind is officially racing. If DZ feuds with Jericho they are basically turning his ass face. If we gt DZ vs Jericho at SS I might need new pants.

DZ much better on the mic now that he's past the generic shit WWE had written for him. Now Dolph is just being rude. This is a nice promo, but it's starting to drag a bit. Jericho needs to say something. Yea, saw that coming. Maybe DZ stays heel and Y2J has jobbed to so many people he's now a face/underdog? rofl. I hope Jericho didn't hurt his knees on Dolph's granite chin.

__________

Funkasaurus lmao. WWE, shit or get off the pot. Nobody cares about this dude squashing jobbers. Skip to the end, and of course it's a bunch of kids dancing with brodus. dooooooooooooooooope

__________

And we're on to Big Show/Punk? No Cena, unless he cashes in lmao. Oh God, how awful. Maybe not awful, belt off Punk = :ryan:

This match just started and I'm instantly bored. Fast forwarding, Big Show dominating.. so awful. Super Punk time. Ref bump time.. Cena time.swerve cash in incoming? blha blah blah, next week huh? I thought it would be SS. So Cena wins, and Rock challenges him for SS and Cena will win. Buyrates galore

__________

Pretty shitty and uneventful Raw. Outside of ADR/Mysterio at Summerslam and Jericho/DZ possibly feuding, everything else was pretty awful

 

[Webx]

:O Lucky team showoff

 

[Farooq]

At first when I saw the title I was like...

Spoiler

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH DZ?!?!?! :dafuq::dafuq::dafuq::dafuq:

but then I was like

Spoiler

:::jeritroll::

I like the review, I think it's a little to low, but it wasn't that superb of a RAW either.

 

[Dolph'sZiggler]

Rating removed. The rating is not an important component to my post and always gets too much attention from people

 

[Xanth]

Now I don't need to watch raw. Thanks.

 

[Dolph'sZiggler]

Now I don't need to watch raw. Thanks.

Np

 

[Farooq]

:

 

[Matt]

 

[Crayo]

Disagree with most.

I'm completely baffled by how you thought a Jericho interruption to Dolph saying he's the show off means Dolph is turning face 1:. Anyway, that'll be the feud of the summer. Jericho will put our boy over. I thought Punk's opening promo was good tbh, I actually enjoyed Big Show's promo too, even their match. The only downer was Cena's announcement, what was it? He was announcing that he'll hit Show over the head? Or he was announcing that he's not cashing it in until next week?

 

[Aids Johnson]

Thanks, i was wondering if getting this weeks RAW would even be worth it. Ill give it a shot now for sure.

 

[Stopspot]

I disagree with a lot of your points Dolph's but that is nothing new when it comes to the two of us grading RAW. Then again taste is like the arese, split in twain

 

[Roach]

I watched RAW this morning. I found the DB and AJ part a load of crap. It is pointless and it is going to be a bad part of RAW 1000th episode. I also did not like the John Cena part. There was way too much advertising of this new feature too. The rest of it was decent.

 

[Dolph'sZiggler]

Go eat a bowl of ass salad.

 

[Matt]

Go eat a bowl of ass salad.

i liked it really :

 

[Dolph'sZiggler]

Disagree with most.

I'm completely baffled by how you thought a Jericho interruption to Dolph saying he's the show off means Dolph is turning face 1:. Anyway, that'll be the feud of the summer. Jericho will put our boy over. I thought Punk's opening promo was good tbh, I actually enjoyed Big Show's promo too, even their match. The only downer was Cena's announcement, what was it? He was announcing that he'll hit Show over the head? Or he was announcing that he's not cashing it in until next week?

I only said that when Jericho's music first hit. Obviously the way the promo unfolded Ziggler isn't meant to be turning face. As I later pointed out I think jericho has jobbed so much that he's actually become the underdog babyface. And Punk/Big Show was AWFUL. Really not sure how you could enjoy it. The content of it was so boring and cliche, and really just meaningless. the match looked like Big Show dominating and Punk doing his 5 moves of doom before a ref bump and more Big Show rape. awful. Then Cena shows up to say he will cash in next week and hit big show over the head unprovoked (So Cena ruins Big show's match and then bops him over the head.. what an asshole)

Anything else you or Stop liked that I didn't I'd love to talk about. I really felt I came into this Raw with a positive outlook and tried to not bury segments unnecessarily