It is around 11.30 in the morning, and the tattoo parlour is more crowded than could be expected. A thuggish-looking skinhead is getting yet another piece of artwork added to his already vast collection, while a scrawny, twenty-something youth, in baggy khaki shorts and a black Mastodon shirt, twiddles his thumbs nervously, awaiting his turn. The young man has tattoos all the way up both his arms, a gauge earring in his left ear, a scruffy beard, and generally looks like he should be singing for a hardcore band.
Soon, the parlour’s two patrons are joined by a third: a tall, svelte young woman wearing shades, a black New York Yankees cap, tight-fitting jeans, tall black biker boots and a Girl Who Played With Fire t-shirt. She is carrying a motorcycle helmet under her arm, and seems in a hurry as she addresses the tattoo studio’s clerk:
Woman: I’m here to see Keith. I have an appointment.
The young guy at the register smiles:
Employee: Sure thing. Just have a seat.
The woman, who by now has attracted the attention of both male customers, sits down next to the hardcore kid. He glances over at her nervously, but says nothing, and it is her who breaks the ice:
Woman: Cool shirt, bro.
The kid looks down at his shirt, which depicts the cover art for the album Blood Mountain, as the woman goes on:
Woman: Ever seen them live?
The young man nods:
Kid: Yup. Saw ‘em on the Blood Mountain tour a few years ago. Still their best album. Shit is fucking sick.
Then, he points at his interloper’s cap:
Kid: What’s with the hat?
The woman shrugs:
Woman: I’m from Iowa. We don’t have any good sports teams there. Besides, I get a kick out of pissing off the locals…
The kid chortles; before the conversation can be taken any further, however, a stocky, tattooed, biker-looking fellow in a denim vest emerges from the back and walks toward the girl, hand outstretched:
Man: How ya doin’, lav? I’m Keith!
His accent is foreign, English, or possibly Australian. The woman takes his hand with surprising firmness:
Woman: Jacqui.
Keith smiles:
Keith: Well, Jacqui, me duck, step raht over ‘ere, an’ we’ll get this bugger under way!
Jacqui M – for the woman is none other than the ACW “Alpha Female” – promptly does so, smiling at the tattoo artist’s accent and boisterous manner.
Jacqui M: You remind me of a friend of mine…
Keith chuckles:
Keith: Good friend, I ‘ope!
Jacqui allows herself a private grin as she thinks of her overseas chum:
Jacqui M: The best....
Keith: Good stuff! So what’s it gunner be, then, lav?
Jacqui points at the side of her neck, then at her shoulder:
Jacqui M: A wasp right there…and a dragon at the back. Here are the designs.
She produces a photo of the actress from the American version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, in which both tattoos are clearly visible. Keith studies it a moment, then nods:
Keith: Right. No worries. It’s gunner cost yez, though, lav. Ya got dosh?
The female wrestler produces a wad of notes from her pocket and hands it to the tattoo artist:
Jacqui M: I do. Here.
Keith whistles appreciatively:
Keith: You’s lawded! Work pay well, then?
Jacqui grins to herself again:
Jacqui M: Not bad, not bad…
Throughout all this, the female wrestler has managed to go unnoticed. It is not until she removes her t-shirt and sunglasses that the tattoo artist exclaims:
Keith: Blimey! I ‘no’ yous! You’s that wrasslin’ chick…from ACW!
Jacqui, not bothered in the slightest, smiles, quietly confirming Keith’s hunch. This makes the tattoo artist even more excited, as he continues:
Keith: We’ve ‘ad one o’ you lot come ‘round earlier…that fella Asterisk! Ya ‘no’ ‘im?
Jacqui manages to hide her surprise upon learning that Asterisk had gotten a tattoo in that same studio, on that same day. “Must mean these guys are good”, she reasons. She quietly acquiesces. Keith, seemingly satisfied, drops the subject, moving on to more practical matters:
Keith: Right. You wanna take off yer cap, then?
This time, the blonde coolly, politely turns him down:
Jacqui M: Not really. And besides, you need my hair outta the way, so I’m doin’ you a favour, aren’t I?
The tattoo artist shrugs:
Keith: Fair enuff. Now ‘old still. This next bit might ‘urt a bit.