“It’ll be fine, Johnny. It really will. Don’t worry.
I say these words, but I don’t mean them. I don’t mean them one bit. I am worried, and I’m afraid it will be anything but fine. It would have been okay if Daemonic was just a figment of his imagination; unfortunately, I know that he isn’t. He may not be real, but he’s very ”real” – and there are still a couple of scars somewhere in my body to prove it. And while I’m usually able to control all of his personalities, Daemonic included, I don’t know how effective I will be when the person he wants to attack is me.
I know I should be used to this. Comes with the territory, tools of the trade, all that. Associate with a toilet, and you can expect shit. But that doesn’t mean I’m not scared each time. Oh, trust me. I’m scared. And this time’s no different.
“Ah, fuckin’ chooch was probably bluffin’! He ain’t gonna be doin’ nothin’!”
That’s another thing I’ll never get used to. How he changes voices so effortlessly, even accents. It really is as though there were five people in one body. Where he picked it all up, I have no idea – stuff in his childhood, probably. Maybe some TV. He tells me he met “the guys” when he was five, so it has to have been before then. What nobody has been able to figure out is when, or why. Usually, this sort of thing derives from a traumatic event – but, as far as anyone knows, the main traumatic event in his life took place after his “friends” were already around.
Suddenly, a realization strikes me: I don’t even know his real name. In the paperwork, and everywhere else, he is registered as John Kraputski; but nobody can be sure that’s his actual name. It might be Steve Wimple. Or Gary Rowland. Or Anthony “Angry” Andretti, Jr. Heck, it may even be Daemonic, although I seriously doubt it.
For some reason, this thought makes me chuckle. He picks up on it, and questions me:
“What’s so funny…?”
“Nothin’…”
And that is actually the right answer. Nothing about this is funny. I’m sitting across from a certified mental patient, who is telling me his deranged alter-ego is on the prowl for me. What the hell am I laughing about?!
“D-d-don’t w-w-worry, Chris-t-t-tine…we w-w-won’t let h-h-him h-h-h-hurt you!”
That makes me smile again. Steve. So sweet. I wouldn’t mind if he turned out to be Steve, actually – even if the thought of a 400-pound man cowering from the world and whimpering in a reedy voice is a bit pathetic. But Steve’s been progressing In leaps and bounds lately – he’s even standing up for himself now and then! At this rate, maybe he’ll start talking back to Andretti soon!
Look at me. Treating somebody’s split personality as if he was a real person. Are you going mad, Christine Scanlon?! Maybe you’ve been hanging around with him too much. His brand of the crazies is getting to you.
But the truth is – I wouldn’t mind at all if his real self turned out to be Steve.
“Babe, are you all right?”
I must have seemed distant or something, because here is John asking after me. He’s not so bad himself. Kind, considerate, but not as much of a pushover as Gary. Which is a good thing in my book. I wouldn’t mind him being him, either.
That’s it. I’m definitely going crazy.
I nod my head:
“Yeah, I’m fine. Actually, I wanted to talk to you …guys…about something”.
He leans forward, interestedly:
“Oh?”
Here we go. The time has come. You don’t know how he’s going to react to this, so steel yourself, Christine. Deep breath. Atta girl.
“My Dad…well, there this friend of my Dad’s…”
Calm down, woman! What’s the worst that could happen?
He’ll kill you.
Don’t think about that. Just do what you have to do.
I’ll start over.
“There’s this friend of my Dad’s who’s a psychologist. And he’s doing a study on…”
Andretti, instantly:
“We ain’t talkin’ to no ‘ead shrinks!”
The Johnny voice comes in, then the Stevie voice, telling him to shut up and let me continue. This is so freaky. It’s like having your own personal, perpetual comedy sketch.
The task, Christine. Don’t dilly-dally.
Right.
“…thanks, guys. This friend of my Dad’s is doing a study on group dynamics, and he would really like to speak with you guys.”
“Group whatnow?”
“Dynamics, Andretti. How people function in a group. I think it’s a really interesting subject, actually.”
“Are we g-gonna be on TV?”
I smile. Not as bad as I thought it would be.
“I don’t think so, Stevie. But you may be in his paper, when he publishes it!”
Stevie comes back, excitedly:
“What do you t-think, guys?! I w-wanna do it!”
Gary is the first to reply:
“Yeah, let’s do it.”
Then John:
“Yeah. Andretti?”
This takes a while longer, but eventually a begrudging “alrite” comes from that end as well. Definitely not as bad as I’d thought. There’s only one loose end, and to my pleasant surprise, Steve voices it before I do:
“Wh-what about D-D-D-D-Daemonic? Is he c-c-c-comin’ with us?”
I find myself giving this quarter-pounder, who could crush me with his bare hands, a maternal smile:
”I don’t know. What do you guys think?”
Surprisingly, it’s Stevie who takes the lead once again. Like I said, leaps and bounds.
“I d-d-don’t think we w-w-w-want him with us. Right, guys?”
I hear that all-too-familiar one-man chorus of assent, and smile.
“Great. I’ll let Dr. Horowitz know.”