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  1. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    It seem's like you almost lost the will to keep going in the second one. It's awfully short in comparison.
  2. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    It's not really the formatting. I don't know the word for it. It's 'top heavy' on detail, for the lack of a better term.
  3. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    But I must say, Forte's formatting is making me cringe.
  4. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    @Dojo You're seeing this, right?
  5. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    It gets better towards the end of it, but you've got loads of one-line bits of dialogue, in between long bits of detail. It's a bit unbalanced.
  6. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    Right, you've got LOADS of detail but IMO, there isn't enough dialogue (first promo only). Also, that big block of dialogue in the middle of it doesn't look appetising. A bit of paragraphing would do wonders.
  7. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    I'm on about your promo now, btb
  8. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    Also, Dojo, first things first. That font is fucking hard to read.
  9. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    Fair enough, I'm just not a fan.
  10. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    Is there really any difference between Dem & Yhem? Or imma and I'm?
  11. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    It would've been close, I say. DK has his own problems, such as that he uses text language sometimes without even realizing it (dem, imma). Also I can't stand using askertics for some reason. I probably would've ended up voting for you, yeah.
  12. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    I imagined that's what you were trying to get at, but it really doesn't work when written down.
  13. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    Drag, you have too many commas and full stops. It kinda messes up the flow as I read. But your describing and dialogue is great
  14. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    Dojo, link that match and I'll bookmark it for later.
  15. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    Harrison, did you want me to go on TEW? Or were you just wondering?
  16. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    Link. Drag?
  17. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    Yeah, there was once or twice where I was like ''Oh God, there's even more?!''. But you kept me interested all the way through. If you keep this up, you'll do really well.
  18. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    E-Wrestling Observer Newsletter :cool:
  19. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    Good length too, but I wouldn't go ANY longer (roughly 1,500 words).
  20. DylanTM

    The chat thread

    DK focused too much on The Bullad Club as a whole imo, not enough on Indy's charachter.
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