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• May 14, 2025

• #1

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Abyss-19/11/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Christopher Daniels-16/11/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX-22/10/06

TNA IMPACT
January 4th, 2007
Impact Zone

Recap of Kurt snapping Joe's girlfriend's ankle last week.

In the back, Joe storms Cornette's office and demands Angle tonight. Jim clams him down and tells him to wait till Final Resolution as Kurt has a match tonight. Joe jumps on it, but Jim tells him not to even think about it and he wants him out of the building. Joe freaks out as Corny says this to save people from getting hurt, and Joe says he's not here to hurt people or even him, HE'S HERE TO HURT KURT AND HE WILL FINISH WHAT HE STARTED.

TONIGHT THE END OF YEAR AWARDS. KURT VS CAGE. OK RUSSO, I'LL BITE.

Match#1 Robert Roode w/Ms Brooks vs Rhino
Only 3 minutes because it's hour show, and Russo is booking. Still not a bad little back and forth as Bobby's growth continues each week, and Rhino is still a good warm body to help the kid out. Traci distracts Rhino on the apron, but he moves and Bobby nearly hits her, and Rhino schoolboys him to win.
*

Post match, Bobby yells at her and makes her go to the back.

On the other side of the Zone, AJ runs out and hits Rhino from behind. They have a fun fight and Rhino sets him up for the Gore, but Bobby comes down and helps AJ turn the tide and beat the shit out of him. AJ lays Rhino out with the Clash, and fist bumps Bobby. Fuck yeah.

In the back, EY asks JB for help as a woman wants to have sex with his friend and he doesn't know what to do, or has the skills. He needs the love doc's help. JB asks if his friend is a s a virgin, and Eric says "No, he's from Kanas" Ms Brooks walks on and flirts with EY and asks if he got what she asked for, and she says he's got till next week to get it or he's fired. EY says he's in a pickle now.

In the back, JB is with Samoa Joe. Joe screams for 4 weeks Kurt tried to get his attention he had to go after someone close to him because he knows he's not the best. Joe can't wait 10 days as it's an entirety, and he will leave after his job is done tonight.

VKM come out for our first horrible segment of the year. Only took 12 minutes, so kudos. BG rants about WWE ignoring them after weeks of challenges, which really speaks to how awful this all is. Kip yells at BG with a megaphone for some reason, and then they calm down and talk about the million dollar challenge they put out to DX. BG calls them by their real names and makes gay jokes, and says they're going to step the game up a notch. BG says Shawn is on a light schedule and he's got time to fight them in his home town, and they're calling him out and it will be high noon at the Alamo. "We won't be hard to find, we'll be the idiots in ponchos and sombreros" hahhahaahha kill me. BG says they'll have the footage next week.



We go to a sitdown with JB and Gail Kim. She says she thought all the problems were behind them, but she has no explanation for what Storm did 3 weeks ago. A very drunk James walks on and pulls up a chair and says she's talking behind his back, and she gets very upset and wants to talk to him. James says TNA don't have a women's division, and the the only ladies he sees is her and JB, and he better shut up before he gets a bottle to the side of the face. JAMES STANDS UP AND DRAGS JB'S CHAIR OFF CAMERA AND WALKS BACK ON. He gets right in her face and tells her that he bought her into TNA, and she has no where to go other than go back and flip rice paddies with her uncle. She's got 7 days to decide, and she gets really upset, AND HE GRABS HER BY THE FACE! Gail says she hasn't talked to Chris yet, and James says he's not coming back and his patience is wearing thin. Incredible stuff.

Match#2 Homicide vs Brother Runt (No DQ)
Runt is drunk and mad as he jumps our boy with a sick flurry of punches and dives, and it's good fun. Plunda gets broken out, and Ci has his head slammed into the post with a chair around his neck. Ci cuts him off and gets a ladder and beats the fuck out of him with some nasty as hell shots. Tenay says it will be LAX/3D for the titles at the PPV. Spike hits the Acid Drop and has it won, but Konnan distracts the ref in a No DQ match, and Hernadez gets in and KILLS Spike with a motherfucker of a Border Toss through a ladder to give Ci the win.
**1/4

Post match, they go for the kill, but 3D run down and save their little brother and chases them off.

We go to a pre-tape with Lynn, Daniels & Sabin talking about the issues as of late. Big part is the lack of respect they all feel and how they're the best wrestler in the world.

We go to the prison where Abyss is freaking out as Mitchell is screaming at him and keeps calling him an idiot. He shoves Abyss to the ground and says Cage and Tomko know one sentence of the story he knows. A story of love, blood and betrayal and unforgivable sins. He warns him to not make him come back here ever. He has to make a choice tonight as he can't escape his past. He's held the secret for 18 months and now he makes a fool out of him for Sting. ABYSS JUMPS BACK UP AND SLAMS HIM INTO THE FENCE AND SCREAMS LIKE A WILD ANIMAL AS THE CAMERA CUTS AWAY.

Christian and Tomko come down for the main event when Corny shows up on the screen. He says Tomko keeps getting involved, so he's barred from ringside at the PPV. Kurt now comes down, but Joe jumps him and kicks the shit out of him at ringside with those amazing punches right to the face. Angle fights back and we get a killer brawl for the first time this year as they're perfect belting the crap out of each other with whatever they can use. Cage and Tomko stand by as they brawl into the crowd and blackshirts try to break it up. Jim now comes out and tells the security to protect the fans and let em fight. FUCK YEAH.

They brawl out to the back and into the parking lot, and we see a bunch of fans following the brawl in a sick moment. They slam each other into walls and try to rip eyes out whenever they can, and it's the most out of control and coolest thing TNA has done in a few weeks. Kurt locks in the Angle Lock because he's a proper freak, so Joe kicks him off into a steel door and smashes the back of his bad brain into with a gross thud on each shot. They fight all around the building and it gets more wild as they slowly gas themselves out and try to kill the other as quick as they can. Joe drops Kurt through a table with a powerslam, and we come back from the break with Kurt in the ring and Corny begging him to calm down. Joe fights him again, and manages to lock in the choke as all the blackshirts try to pry him off. Corny gets the mic and makes the rubber match a 30 minute Iron Man Match. Uhhh, not sure why it's not steel cage or something, but whatever.

Cage now sneaks back in and attacks Kurt, but our little freak kills him with a German and tries to murder him. Tomko cuts him and beats his ass, but the lights go out and Sting shows up and helps Kurt clear the ring.

Goddamn.

 

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BigVanDonnie

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• May 28, 2025

• #2

So, the flu and covid tried to kill me, but like TNA i'll never truly die. Love you all.

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Abyss-19/11/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Christopher Daniels-16/11/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX-22/10/06

TNA IMPACT
January 11th, 2007
Impact Zone

Kurt walks into Cornette's office and asks what he wants. Jim says he gave him the match he wanted with Joe, and let them fight, and tonight he's made sure Joe won't come near him tonight. He now needs Kurt to come to ringside when he asks, and Kurt demands to know why he would want to do that. Jim laughs and says maybe he wants to do something for the person who can choose the next world title challenger. Kurt says he's got him there, and Jim says he's indeed got him where he wants.

TONIGHT; TOMKO VS ABYSS.

Match#1 Kurt Angle vs Maverick Matt w/Serotonin
I forgot these goons were with Raven now, so i got super hyped to hear his music before they walked on scene and ruined it. Kurt murders Matt in quick and awesome fashion with gross suplexes ands strikes and it's lovely to see him go nuts on this complete nothing. Kurt gets rid of the goons and beats Matt with the Angle Lock
**

Joe/Kurt hype video.

In the back, Team 3D are dressed in camo and are standing on a tank. D-Von hums the anthem as Bubba calls LAX disgrace to their race and declare war on them. Ahh, son of a bitch.

We see during the break that Raven beat the shit out of Matt with a cane.

In the back, JB is with Joe
-The big man says he didn't get involved as it was a simple request, but that match is over and he only cares about crippling and hurting him worse than he's ever been hurt before. He says there's 50 minutes left and Kurt better not turn his back.

Match#2 AJ Styles, James Storm & Chris Sabin w/Gail Kim vs Petey Willams, Christopher Daniels & Rhino
Wonderful flurry as the faces rush them and bounce them around the place with as much cool shit as they can muster. Rhino gets isolated after AJ hits him with a Lariat, and the dream team goes to work with a super fun control seg. AJ is perfect again as dirty mean shithead beating Rhino up, and getting the fans to hate him without a fight. Daniels gets the hot tag and lights everyone up, but Sabin attacks him from behind and it all breaks down as it tends to. AJ takes out Rhino with the Forearm and finally goes nose to nose with Daniels, and they have a great back and forth full of hate and awesome moves. AJ hurts his knee off a moonsault and Daniels stupidly falls for it, AND AJ GRABS A SCHOOLBOY AND BEATS HIM FOR 3.
**3/4

In the back, JB is with Mitchell
-James says for the first time in 18 months he's standing here alone without Abyss. He doesn't know where is or where he's been, all he knows is that the man he made a world champion who was building a dynasty is no longer here. He's now been backed in the corner and he didn't want to do it, but he's been left with no choice. Prove your loyalty or he's going to tell the world. He's the only man he can trust now. He won't yell or scream, he's just going to ask him to stand with him, or else.




At ringside. the cage from KOTM is there with a reserved sign on the front. DW and Mike are very confused.

We go to a pre-tape with JB and Chris Harris
-Chris has an eye patch on. He says he's got a risk of losing his vision, and he's really worried he may never come back to the ring. He can't believe that Storm has done this, and he's still hurt and confused about the whole thing. He doesn't know why it had to come to this when that man was his brother. He will never be able to look back on the last 5 years with a smile. He never wanted AMW to end like this.

In the crowd, LAX are trying to get to the ring as we see 3D standing there. Bubba says they took out Konnan, and we see him on the ground. Bubba says this is the first shot in the war, and LAX will be fighting them at the PPV. I have zero faith in these two old fucks, but LAX should be able to help them.

In the back, EY meets with JB. He has a bottle of pills and says his nipples are very tender now. HE ASKS JB TO TOUCH THEM, AND HE REFUSES. 3D walk on and make him leave. Bubba says more stuff about war and history, and says the NWA titles are their goal. LAX are dead come Sunday.

We go to another horrible VKM segment of them visiting the Alamo. They can't find Shawn, and are very mad.

Christian and Tomko come down to the ring where Corny is waiting for them. Jim says he told him last week that Tomko is barred from ringside for Sunday, so to make everything even he's making Cage get into the cage. Heh, get it. Christian is pissed and says the peeps don't want that for him, and he wants to know whose actually going to get him in there. They corner Jim, so Corny says Cage will lose his title shot if he touches him. He has a guy who owes him a favour that will do it for him, and Kurt comes out and forces Cage into the cage. Kurt now stays at ringside.

Abyss comes out on the other side of the stage as Mitchell looks at him in anger and shock from the other side of the Zone.

Match#3 Tomko vs Abyss
Fun power battle to start as Tomko uses his speed to hut and run, and the big man chases him down and bashes his head in whenever he can. Abyss misses a charge and hits the steps allowing Tomko to take over. Fun control work with some nice punches and elbows, and he's not bad at all. He targets the head and beats the monster down. He tries to use a chair, but Abyss kicks it into his face to finally turn the tide. Joe runs down and throws Kurt into the cage and brawls at ringside. Kurt gets the angle lock on, but Joe manages to kick him off and sends him head first into the table. Cage gets the key and unlocks it, and runs in to attack Abyss with a chair for the DQ
**

At ringside, Joe is choking Kurt out as blackshirts try to get him off. Back in the ring, the lights go out and Sting makes the save and runs Cage and Tomko off. Abyss raises Sting's hand, BUT HE TURNS IT INTO THE SHOCK TREATMENT AND KILLS HIM AS MITCHELL SCREAMS AT HIM IN JOY. ABYSS DEMANDS HIS TITLE BACK, AND JAMES GIVES IT TO HIM AND THEY REUNITE.

A billon angles and some good matches to boot. Russo is fine thus far... Sure i won't live to regret that.

 

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BigVanDonnie

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• Wednesday at 4:11 AM

• #3

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Abyss-19/11/06
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Christopher Daniels-16/11/06
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX-22/10/06

TNA FINAL RESOLUTION
JANUARY 14TH, 2007
THE IMPACT ZONE

Another fantastic intro video with Muhammad Ali talking over the top of it, kicks us off.

Match#1 AJ Styles vs Rhino (Last Man Standing)
-it’s announced as Texas Deathmatch Rues.
-AJ runs away right away as DW says AJ is smartly using his speed to tire and piss Rhino off.
-Rhino finally catches him and beats the shit of him, and we get some wonderful over the top AJ bumps.
-RHINO HITS A FUCKING SLINGSHOT SPLASH TO CRUSH AJ ON THE OUTSIDE.
-AJ keeps getting his ass handed to him, but he slips in the Dropkick to the turn the tide.
-Loads of gross punches to the head as he slowly batters him and wears him out on the mat.
-AJ uses his wrist tape to strangle him, and then hits a nasty looking low blow to fuck him up worse
-AJ hits a goddamn perfect looking Splash all the way across the ring to get the 3,
-Rhino gets up at 7 and mounts a tried but awesome comeback as he's badly hurt but guts it out.
-AJ cuts him off again and hits another stunning running flip dive over the ropes and squashes him on the floor
-They fight back in the ring and Rhino shoots off a Spinebuster to get a 3 of his own, and AJ manages to just get back up
-It moves into a fun back and forth with a ton of close calls from both.
-THEY FIGHT OVER A TABLE AND AJ ATOMIC DROPS HIM ONTO THE FUCKING EDGE OF IT. JESUS CHRIST
-AJ stays on him and beats his ass, but he can't put him away and Rhino hits a wicked Gore that turns AJ inside out, and then hits another for the hell of it, and gets the 3.
-AJ's nose is all messed up, and his selling and struggle to get back up is amazing, AND HE NEARLY STANDS UP AT 8 BUT SAYS FUCK IT WHEN HE SEES RHINO SETTING UP A TABLE AND SITS BACK DOWN AND LOSES IT ON PURPOSE. AMAZING BULLSHIT FINISH
***

Post match, Rhino gets the mic and says AJ is getting finished once and for all as he's still alive. He chases after him down the ramp.

Mike and DW run the card down, but we see Rhino dragging AJ back out and he kills him with the fucking Rhino Driver onto the stage. He gets a table and sets it up for the Gore, BUT AJ MOVES AND SENDS RHINO THROUGH IT AND CRAWLS AWAY.

Hype for the X-Division title match.

In the back, Lynn is being interviewed and gets very mad when he's called a pioneer, and asks if that means he's old and going to die. He swears he's going to teach these punks something new. They will both call him teacher when this is said and done.

Match#2 Christopher Daniels (c) vs Chris Sabin vs Jerry Lynn (NWA-TNA X-Division Championship)
Sabin is a little turd and avoids the battle as the old men fight it out, and we get a lot of cool exchanges between them. Sabin tries to get in, but he gets bashed for his troubles, so he has to sneak in offence. He kills Daniels with a gross running drive by, and fights Lynn for the last few months and it's a blast watching him kick the old man's ass. Sabin controls for a while and shows off how good of a heel he's become as his offence is both killer, and cowardly. He hits a sick dropkick on Daniels into the corner and nearly steals it, but Lynn saves and goes on a fun old man run of offence showing he's still got a little left. They move into some three way spots like a an STO off the top that cracks all their skulls when they land. Finishing run is good shit as everyone goes nuts and gets super close calls. JERRY HITS DANILS WITH THE PILEDRIVER AND HAS IT WON, BUT SABIN CRADLES HIM WITH THE TIGHTS TO STEAL THE TITLE. FUCK YEAH, HAIL SABIN.
**3/4

In the back, Nash calls himself an expecting father as he wins either way tonight. He brings on Bob Backlund as his judge for tonight and says they travelled the roads together, AND BOB ASKS WHAT ROAD AND SAYS HE'S NEVER BEEN IN A CAR WITH HIM. AMAZING. Nash lists off cities and keeps asking if that was them, and Bob keeps saying no. Nash thinks it might have been Scott Hall, actually. Bob wants to know if Nash has put them men through their paces with squats and time in the ring, and Nash says they played limbo and drank till they puked, and that's pretty rigorous. Bob shakes his head and says those boys are in for a long night.

Kev leaves as Bob stares at JB for a solid minute and never breaks eye contact. EY walks on and asks if JB can take him shopping, and JB says they're at a PPV. EY sees Bob and says he voted for him in 95, and Bob responds the election was in 2000. EY runs off, and Bob goes back to staring at JB.

Hype for Shelley/Starr

Nash joins commentary and introduces the judges, Bob, Fat Naked Oily Guy, and Samolion Joe.

Match#3 Alex Shelley vs Austin Starr (Paparazzi Championship Series Final Match-10 minute time limit)
Kevin kills it right away by saying Shelley is like his first born and he loves him very much. Fantastic feeling out as you'd expect with it being the smoothest stuff possible. Shelley breaks first and wastes Aries with a dropkick, and it moves into a back and forth for a little while with some great escalating the violence as they get pissy at each other. Aries hits a sick twisting springboard splash, AND WALKS OVER TO THE JUDGES AND WRITES TEN POINTS DOWN. He keeps gloating so Shelley goes after him and beats the shit out of him in revenge, and yeah Alex rules as a babyface, AND HE HITS THE AMAZING BABYFACE TOPE RIGHT TO THE CHEST OF ARIES. FUCK YEAH. He keeps at him and avoids Aries attempts to cheat, and rams Aries into the corner and dropkicks his face into the buckles and keeps attacking the body. Aries selling rocks as Shelley keeps on it. He hits a gross springboard DDT to fold Aries in half and get a super close 2.9. The final minute hits and they both go nuts trying to end it, and Aries gets a Camel Clutch on in the last 20, but Shelley refuses to tap at the time limit expires.
***

JB reads the results and says Joe and Fat guy have voted for Aries and Alex respectfully, so its down to Bob. Bob gets in and says he voted for takedowns and submissions along with other requirements of how the body affects the other man. He says as no one was pinned, but because they filled the match the proper way to entertain the fans, he declares it a draw. JB is very bad as is everyone else about this. Nash now walks over and whispers into JB's ear and demands an overtime, and it's on

Match#4 Alex Shelley vs Austin Star
They trade rollups and get fancier and fancier, and Shelley is the god of that game and gets one with the arms and legs to win.
*

Post match, all the other guys come out to celebrate with Shelley. Aries is super mad and slaps Nash's hand away when he goes to shake it, and NASH SHOVES HIM DOWN. Aries grabs the mic and screams he has it up to here with this crap. he didn't come here to play games and revitalise Nash's dead career, or play second fiddle to these chumps. He says he respects Senshi and demands he leave him with him, but Ki doesn't move. Aries mocks his voice and slaps him for it, AND KI NOW BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF HIM AND RUNS HIM OFF. Aries shoves the judges and pie faces Bob, AND BOB CHASES AFTER HIM AND LOCKS IN THE CHICKEN WING AND STRANGLES HIM AS BLACKSHIRTS DRAG HIM AWAY.

Hype video for Storm/Petey.

Match#5 James Storm w/Gail Kim vs Petey Willams
Gail is being forced to be here by Storm, and she's very sad. Storm shows right away this turn is the right call for him as he's laying in all his shit and talking up a storm, and it's so damn good. Petey is mostly a warm body for him to do stuff to, and takes a very fun ass beating for Storm. Petey mounts a comeback and grabs Storm for the CD, but Storm shoves him against the ropes and grabs a handful of them to steal the win.
*3/4

Post match, Petey and Gail argue with the ref about it, but Storm punches Petey in the face and handcuffs him to the ropes. He goes for the bottle, but Gail saves!! She slaps Storm, and grabs her by the neck and goes to hit her, but she low blows him and kicks his ass with awesome body shots. She goes for the bottle, but Jaqueline Moore makes her debut by attacking Gail from behind, and DW calls this an "odd combination" in a funny moment. Storm and Jackie hit the Death Sentence to kill Gail.

We get clips of VKM being awful. I actually forgot they were a thing, but nope its real.

VKM now come out and declare victory over Vince and the WWE after they didn't answer any of their calls. BG actually shouts out Triple H after tearing his quad, and tells him they don't want to see any of the boys go down, so heal your wheel. Well, thats nice. He keeps talking about them being cowards and stupid, and any of the good will is killed right away. Even more so when he starts talking about ratings and K-Fed beating Cena on TV. He says that war is over, and the new one is Vince fighting the fans and insulting them week after week on WWE Raw. BG leads the dipshit fans into singing "We're not going to take it" and yeah it's as bad as it sounds. Christy Hemme now comes out and is very upset for some reason. She says she watched them for 3 months talking about DX and being that foundation, and she thinks Chyna deserves some credit as well. She asks if it because she's a woman in a man's world, and she gets more and more upset as she talks about Lita and Trish running from wrestling because they're disposable, and she doesn't want the same for the women in TNA. She wants to wrestle and be part of this business because she loves it and women deserve better.

BG gets the mic and says they all love wrestling, but half the things she's saying isn't true. Kip snatches the mic and calls her a "slut" and tells her to go back to the strip club she got fired from for daring to interrupting him and tells her to suck it. She says women are good for their bodies and putting men back in line, and she slaps Kip and walks off.

Well, that was horrible.

In the back, Team 3D are with JB, Bubba says this is old school vs new school punks, and this will be the first time LAX don't have Konnan with them. 3D have travelled the world and done it all and people say not to fight them for no reason, but Bubba says he's jealous LAX can call themselves NWA champions and they want the same. They walks off, as Sting walks on and asks where Abyss is. JB isn't sure, so Sting leaves.

Goddamn it, Russo. Let something breath for a minute, you dumbass.

Hype for the tag title match

Match#5 LAX (c) vs Team 3D (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
Bubba PPV fit update; Baggy shirt and jeans. D-Von has somehow eaten more steroids in the last month, and he might have more gyno than anyone else in wrestling. We get nonsense to start as Hernandez is somehow not able to knock D-Von down after a year of fucking everyone up with ease. Ci is forced to eat shit for Bubba next as the fuck no sells all his stuff, and does lazy bland crap in return. 3D keeps no selling until LAX double team D-Von to take over, and we get our first terrible LAX control seg as it's chinlocks and lazy work, and i don't actually blame them at all. Tenay tries to cover by saying Konnan not being here as lead to them being lost, which serves to make them look like idiots and not the killers we know and love. 3D make a terrible comeback and hit Ci with 3D, but a drunk Runt walks down in a Santa suit and hits a splash on Ci for the DQ.
LOLTNA

Post match, Bubba kicks Spike in the head and throws him out of the ring.

In the back, JB is with Joe, and he tells him that this is now a #1 contendership match!!! Joe says this started as who was the best in the world, but Kurt made it personal once he realised he wasn't. Joe will beat him into the ground and cripple him for his crimes. He will break him.

Hype for Joe/Kurt.

Match#6 Samoa Joe vs Kurt Angle (#1 Contenders Match-30 Minute Ironman Match)
Good mat wrestling to start as is the norm, but it does feel off given how this feud has gone over the last month or so. After 4 very fun minutes, Kurt lays in a series of uppercuts and tries to turn it into a fight, and Joe meets with him his epic strikes and he batters him for a while. Kurt goes to the knee to have a chance and drops him and grinds him down on the mat with a choke hold, and really wears him down and forces Joe to fight for every inch of struggling to get out. Joe does get out and goes for a tope, but Kurt is too far out and poor Joe eats ALL the shit as he lands on his fucking face. Kurt sells it to his credit, but that was goddamn nasty. DW actually says if he had hit it cleaner he would have won. Love that man. Kurt takes back control and looks gassed as his shots are weak and lame looking, and he gets sloppy. Joe counters an Angle Lock into the Clutch to win the first fall. Kurt no sells it and goes right back to dominating Joe with shitty looking punches and kicks, and poor Joe is stuck selling for it. Kurt locks in the Angle Lock and makes Joe tap to even it up. Kurt dominates some more and we get the arm drag counter from the Angle Slam, but Joe is too big and falls on his ass and looks like an idiot. Kurt no sells it and gets another Angle Lock to make Joe tap again. HEY, STOP MAKING HIM TAP OUT, YOU FUCKHEADS. Kurt keeps looking bad, and decides now its time to do a finisher fest as Joe kicks out of the Angle Slam and counters another Angle Lock into the Muscle Buster to even it up. There were easier ways to do that, guys. Kurt now goes after the leg with a chop block and locks in another goddamn Angle Lock, and Joe counters again to kick Kurt away, but instead of falling to the floor, Kurt catches himself on the mat and goes for a flying nothing and Joe catches him for a Belly to Belly, but Kurt counters into a shoddy looking Victory Roll to take another pin. They now fight on the outside and slowly lumber around the ring throwing bad shots at each other as they're both gassed and out of ideas. Joe now stops selling his leg and beats Kurt up and hits the Muscle Buster, and because he's not Kurt and won't let anyone kill his finish, Kurt gets his foot on the ropes to save it. Joe locks in the Choke, but Kurt keeps countering and fighting out. Joe now locks in a really bad looking Angle Lock at the end, but Kurt is a nutcase and refuses to tap and survives as the time runs out.
*3/4

MASSIVE Piece of shit, and the first real chink in the armour of Joe's booking since the terrible match with JJ a few months ago. It's all downhill from here until they decide to fix it, but it's too little too late by then.


In the back, JB interviews Sting. The backstage is now all black except for a green light, so I guess they had like 75% of a power outage? I can't think of any kind of real reason for that lighting. But okay. Sting says he will separate the strings between puppet and puppet master, and James Mitchell and Abyss come over. Speak of the devil, and the devil, he doth appear. Mitchell says Abyss is just a dumb animal, and Sting doesn't get to claim "divine purpose" when he acts like an animal too. There are now flashing lights too and Sting says he's going to send James Mitchell back to hell. Are they outside? Is that lightning? But then where does the green light come from? FUCK.

Hype for the main event.

Match#7 Abyss (c) w/James Mitchell vs Sting vs Christian Cage (NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Championship- Elimination Match-Tomko is locked in a Shark Cage)
Sting lights everyone up in amazing form and really picks my spirts up after the last dreadful hour of wrestling. Lots of cool Sting moments as he's a ball of fire on everything, and the other two are awesome in their own cool ways. Cage is a sneaky shit as he takes advantage whenever he can and uses the cage to ram them both into it to give himself a chance. Abyss comes back to life and fights Cage for a few minutes, and it's really great once again. Even more so with the roles reversed as this freak is now trying to kill this creepy little bastard. Tomko chokes Sting through the cage, and the ref misses Abyss' pinning Cage with the BHS. Sting comes back in AND RAMS ABYSS INTO CAGE AND HITS THE BIG MAN WITH THE DEATHDROP AND PINS THE CHAMPION TO GET RID OF HIM FIRST. WHOAH. Sting offers his hand like a real jerkoff, so Abyss chokes him and walks away. Cage takes over quick and we get out promised BFG singles match a few months late, but it's soooo good and fun as Cage beats the hell out of him, and Sting sells like crazy. Sting comes back and whips his ass. Mitchell comes back down to distract him, and he knocks a blackshirt out and unlocks the cage door to let Tomko out.Mitchell distracts the ref as Tomko takes Sting out with a Shock Treatment for a close near fall. Abyss runs down and fights Tomko and throws him back into the cage. Back in the ring, Cage is hit with the Killswitch by Sting, but he manages to kick out.The ref is bumped, and Mitchell gets in and hits Sting with his cane. Sting no sells it and attacks him, BUT ABYSS PUNCHES STING IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH HIS CHAIN. FUCK YEAH. CHRISTIAN HITS THE FROGSPLASH AND WINS THE TITLE BACK
**3/4

One of the most Vince Russo shows ever. The next few years are going to be something to behold.

 

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Sky

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• Wednesday at 5:11 AM

• #4

They really did just wreck Joe over time didn't they

 

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• Wednesday at 6:38 AM

• #5

It's one of the most criminal booking runs ever. How in the world they went from 2005 to what we're about to watch is insane.

 

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• Thursday at 3:59 AM

• #6

NWA-TNA World Heavyweight Campion; Christian Cage-14/1/07
NWA-TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin-14/1/07
NWA-TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX-22/10/06

TNA IMPACT
January 18th, 2007
Impact Zone

We kick off with footage of Sting beating the shit out of Mitchell backstage, and Tenay says this Sting out of character and he's Steve Borden. NOPE. Sting beats the hell out of him and shoves him into the boot of a car.

In the back, a drunk Runt and 3D walk into the Zone. Spike says its not a big deal, so 3D shove him into a wall and say they were screwed over by family. They have a rematch tonight, and he needs to stay out of it or he's dead.

Match#1 LAX (c) vs Team 3D (NWA-TNA World Tag Team Championships)
3D attack the champions from behind like complete cowards, and we get a super fun brawl at ringside thanks to LAX bumping like crazy. Spike walks out again and tries to get, but Bubba drags him away. LAX take over on D-Von as a result and it's a better control work than the PPV as they beat the shit out of him with their great offence, and he actually fucking sells it. WOAH. Bubba has a fun hot tag to his credit, and i have no idea why he's trying on TV and not PPV. 3D go on a run and have Hernandez set up for Wazzup, but Spanish commentator Moody Jack walks over with the mic and distracts 3D, and CI is able to save. Moody gives Hernandez a loaded sock, and he knocks Bubba out to win.
**1/4

In the back, Abyss is screaming and smashing things out of anger.

In the bathroom, Gail and Jackie are fighting in a stall. Tenay says her name is Miss Tennessee, which is cool given Storm's nickname. Blackshirts break it up.

In a pre-tape, Christy talks about WWE firing her for not laying down for men. Women deserve respect. Kip walks on eating some food and talks more shit and throws it at her. BG tries to break it up, and Kip just laughs. Why is this a thing, Russo????

NEWWWWWWW Worlds Champion, Christian Cage makes his out to the ring, and says he told us the biggest star in wrestling would regain the top prize in the game. There's not rest for the wicked as he's facing Kurt Angle in a few weeks at AAO. He's not waisting time listing off his accomplishments like being the biggest asshole he's ever met. Kurt now comes out in full gear as he's a crazy person. Angle says he needs to be careful without his bodyguard here to protect him. He wants him to love the belt for the next 3 weeks because he's taking it home. He spits on him like a massive dickhead. Cage says that's what makes them champions with their confidence, but he knows out to channel his emotions unlike him. He knows he needs to get into his head and see what he makes him tick, so he's hired a consultant who thinks and wrestles like him. This person hates him, just like Christian does. Kurt asks who it is, and cage says he spat in his face and now he wants an answer. Kurt keeps asking and names Goldberg and Brock as possible people. Kurt finally snaps and punches him in the face and lays him out with a German and locks in the Angle Lock until Cage escapes.

AT A PRISON, STEVE STINGER BORDEN BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF MITCHELL. Sting demands to know what Abyss is hiding, and Mitchell says "Chris Parks was here for 6 years" and he's not telling him why. Abyss is a piece of shit who was nothing before he met him, and will be nothing after he's done with him. Sting says he sees a human in Abyss and he's going to help him. Mitchell refuses to tell Sting why, so Sting handcuffs him to a fence and says he's getting his answers from Abyss tonight.

In the back, Shelley is filming Nash. He finds JB and says if he has any work to call him, and JB says he might actually!!! Kev looks at Lethal and Dutt and says its' time to leave the nest, and maybe get an extreme makeover. STARR RUNS ON AND BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF SENSHI AND THROWS HIM INTO A WALL AND RUNS OFF.

In the back, Kurt screams at Cornette about what as happened, and he needs to know. Corny says he doesn't know at all, and Kurt is the cornerstone of TNA and he needs to think. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK OFF. Corny tells him to calm down and worry about facing AJ STYLES TONIGHT. WAIT WHAT??? You can't just give that away for free, Russo. Fuck me.

We see footage of Lance Hoyt getting into a fight at the PPV pre show with those baseball dickheads AJ and Torborg. Oh no.

Match#2 James Storm w/Miss Tennessee vs Lance Hoyt
Only 2 minutes as Russo is Russo. Still, lots of nice Storm punches and cheating as he's looking fantastic in this role. Hoyt is whatever, but he tries hard. Sadly, the baseball guys get involved and get Hoyt with a chair, and Storm nails the superkick to win.
1/2*

Post match, Gail attacks Jackie, but Storm saves and kills her with the Eye of the Storm. Petey runs down and tries to help, but he's double teamed and left laying. On the outside, the baseball guys draw on Hoyt's head.


In the back, Eric Young goes to JB and says they need to go shopping for condoms before next week. AJ comes over and Eric leaves. AJ says Kurt's been pampered because of his gold medal, but that was 11 years ago, and he hasn't earned things like he has. He says it doesn't matter if he gets cheered or booed, because he's still Phenomenal. Awesome babyface promo? I guess.

In the back, Steve Borden arrives.

Match#3 AJ Styles vs Kurt Angle
AJ tries to take it to the mat and gets shown up, and starts jumping up and down like a little kid...Kurt beats his ass with his bad looking strikes as he's not laying them in at all after a few really good months of him doing so. AJ takes awesome bumps on everything of course, and makes it worth a damn because he's not letting ANYONE ruin him. Tomko walks down and watches at ringside, and he now has blonde in his beard and looks so bad. AJ attacks from behind to take over, but his control is cut out by the add break so we only get a little bit. Still, really fucking great watching AJ do his thing against Angle, and smoking him in every aspect of pro wrestling. AJ gets a ton of close calls and really shines in control with his shit talking. He misses a chair shot and smacks his hand with it, and Kurt hits an Angle Slam and wins. AJ getting beaten by one is bullshit all things considered.
**1/2

Post match, Cage and Tomko beat the shit out of Angle, and AJ joins in. Rhino runs down and fights AJ off, sadly. Joe now runs down and makes the save for Kurt. Cage gets the mic and asks if Kurt now has a clue. Kurt and Joe argue as blackshirts keep them apart. Nice little twist on this story.

Steve Stinger is in the ring and calls Abyss out, and the big man answers the call. Sting keeps asking why he was in prison and he needs to stand for something. IT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS, YOU JERK. Abyss tries to speak but he can't do it, so Sting shoves him and shoves the bat into his stomach and says he wants to help him. Abyss now cowers in the corner like a dweeb, and Sting says it's public record so he'll get the facts. The crowd now chants "STING IS A BULLY" as Abyss screams to end it.

 

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