Payback 2014

Match 1: United States Championship Match - Sheamus (c) def. Cesaro (11:38)

You never can go wrong when it comes to these guys. Its always a fun watch whether they're fighting or teaming. There's no lock up at the beginning, its just a fight. Sheamus tries a slingshot into the ring and Cesaro uppercuts him to the floor. And then he brings Sheamus back in with a suplex from the apron. This match was full speed ahead from then forward. They really clobber each other and just hit all their big moves. Cesaro with an uppercut. Sheamus with a White Noise. Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick, but Cesaro switches behind him and hits a nice German suplex. Sheamus reverses a Neutralizer to a White Noise before locking in the Texas Cloverleaf. Cesaro crawls towards the ropes and dangles an arm over the bottom to escape. Cesaro lifts Sheamus up on his shoulders and drops him before he grabs Sheamus’ legs and starts to spin him around the ring. But then right after, Sheamus just pulls Cesaro in with a small package to win the match. But despite the extremely weird finish, I thought this was good and a fine way to start us off.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 2: RybAxel def. The Rhodes Brothers (7:49)

This match has a really low rating that I thought was a bit harsh. The match isn't that bad, its just incredibly average. I think the story here was that Cody and Goldie had been on a losing streak. Ryback and Axel keep Goldust away from his corner for a while, this is most of the match. Goldust eventually reaches Cody, who comes in like a house of fire, springboard dropkick to Ryback, dropkicks Axel out of mid-air. Cody does end up fucking up a moonsault and thankfully Ryback and Axel were both there to catch him. Ryback catches Cody out of a disaster kick and throws him into Goldust. Cody manages to hit a Cross Rhodes on Ryback, but the pin is broken up by Axel. Goldust comes in a clotheslines Axel out of the ring. Cody goes for another disaster kick but Ryback catches him again, in a fireman's carry although its clearly supposed to be a Shell Shock, because he beats Cody with a samoan drop. So botched finish but whatevs. Cody gets a mic after the match and tells Goldust that he (Goldust) needs a better tag partner than him. This would set up Cody's most hated gimmick, Stardust.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 3: Rusev def. Big E. (3:40)

An actually decent match. Just because it didn't go for 15 minutes doesn't mean it wasn't good. It was everything it needed to be in less than 4 minutes. You could say its just “TWO BIG MEN SLABBING MEAT!” That one was for you E. Uh, anyway, this match was good for what it was. They got some big moves in and left. Rusev throws E. back with a german suplex on his head. Big E. hits a Spear off the apron. E, goes for the People's Splash as I like to call it and gets a Machka Kick to the face. And then Lana tells Rusev to crush! Rusev applies the accolade on Big E, who taps out.

My Rating: ***

Match 4: Bo Dallas vs. Kofi Kingston ended in a no contest (0:32)

I literally don't get the point of this because it goes nowhere but at least it saved us from having to watch this match because wow, I didn't give a fuck. As soon as the bell rings, Kane's pyro and music goes off and he marches down. Bo leaves the ring but he takes out Kofi and then leaves. Bo grabs a mic and tells Kofi that he’ll get back up better than ever and all he has to do… IS BO-LIEVE!

Match 5: Intercontinental Championship Match - Bad News Barrett (c) def. Rob Van Dam (9:32)

An okay match, but not a great one. I will say though, another PPV, another match where RVD is trying to win the IC Title off an englishman. The first half isn't that great since RVD was older here but he was able to still keep the pace quick towards the end. RVD gets the early advantage, but Barrett takes control and grounds Van Dam into the mat. RVD starts to comeback, but misses the Five Star attempt and gets a Black Hole Slam. RVD rolls outside and leans against the ring post, and Barrett goes for the Bullhammer elbow, but RVD dodges it and Barrett hits the post. RVD throws Barrett back in and hits a slingshot DDT. He attempts a split-legged moonsault, but Barrett gets his knees up, RVD clutches his ribs before turning around to get an elbow from Barrett, who retains.

My Rating: ***1/4

So after this is an in-ring segment. Stephanie McMahon gave Daniel Bryan an ultimatum. Give up the WWE Title or his wife, Brie would be fired. And I don't know about you guys, but I hated this. Just because it was ultimately pointless. Brie tells Steph that she can't fire her because she quits. So she has no job which I guarantee Steph doesn't care about. And Bryan wound up giving up the title later anyway so its not like any of this matters. Its dumb and stupid and I hate it.

Match 6: Last Man Standing Match - John Cena def. Bray Wyatt (24:15)

Oh boy, this match went places. The early part of the match wasn't so special but damn, the pace picked up and chaos ensued. First off, Bray had Harper and Rowan out there with him, so The Usos ran out to help even the odds. In the first several minutes, Bray hits a Sister Abigail, Cena gets up. Cena hits an AA, Bray gets up. But Harper and Rowan finally make a move and jump Cena, which makes The Usos jump in and defend him. The Usos and The Wyatts are all sent back, leaving it to Cena and Bray, one on one, which is how it should be. Bray brings a chair into the ring and uses it. Cena brings a table into the ring, sets it up, but winds up going through it. Bray brings the steps into the ring and he uses them. It seems like everything John tries to do, Wyatt just fires back. But Cena manages to come back, uses the chair and the steps. Bray rolls out of the ring and Cena picks up the steps and throws them right at Bray's face. Bray gets back up and stumbles to the side of the ring. Cena leaps off the apron and gets caught and hit with Sister Abigail against the barricade. Bray picks up a chair and goes to use it, but Cena kicks him in the gut before hitting an AA on the floor. Harper and Rowan run back out to beat on Cena and also help Bray back to his feet. The Usos come back down and now the chaos starts to ensue. A couple tables come into play. Jey hits the “throwing that ass back” to Rowan through a table sitting against the barricade while Harper and Jimmy go through two tables set up outside from a superplex from the top rope. Cena and Bray finally turn back to each other. Cena ducks a clothesline but Bray runs back and hits a crossbody through the barricade. Both men manage to stand back up and they go through the crowd now. And they approach the pyrotechnic area. From there, Cena hits another AA through an equipment box and then to make sure he can't get out, he drops another one on top of him. The referee counts 10 and Cena literally buries Bray to win the match. Bray should've won, but its not a huge deal. So lets move on.

My Rating: ****

Match 7: Divas Championship Match - Paige (c) def. Alicia Fox (6:33)

Here was WWE once again, trying to make Alicia Fox a thing when she shouldn't be. This match is just straight up boring. Nothing else to say about it honestly. Fox was awful in the ring and Paige isn't exactly anyone who could carry an awful wrestler. Fox just lays on her, screams, lays on her, yells at the audience. Its just bullshit. I would say Paige began a comeback but all she does is kick Alicia down and lock in the PTO, which makes Fox tap. Both ladies come out looking like garbage here. It sucks.

My Rating: 1/2*

Main Event: No Holds Barred Elimination Tag Team Match - The Shield def. Evolution (30:55)

The future is here. Thats what this feud was all about. The Shield was already one-up on Evolution so Evolution were coming back with a vengeance here. I thought this match really great. From a storytelling perspective, I loved it. The match starts with both teams fighting at ringside, its a big brawl at the start. But then they start tagging for some reason. A trope I will never not hate. There's no DQs, why are you people following the rules?! That parts annoying, but after about 10 or so minutes, the match becomes a big shmozz again and we start having fun again. HHH KOs Rollins with a metal sheet, Orton takes Ambrose out before all 3 Evolution members turn to Roman Reigns and Triple Powerbomb him through the announce table. Evolution puts their fists together as a way to mock The Shield. Then Ambrose runs across the tables into Evolution. HHH and Orton retreat to another side of the ring and Rollins dives over the ropes into them. But their brief comeback is quickly snuffed out. Evolution take Seth and Dean out at the entrance way and turn their attention back to Roman, who has gotten back in the ring. They beat down Roman again, they go out and grab some steps, some kendo sticks. after taking Roman's vest off, they lay him on his stomach on the steps and just wail on him with these kendo sticks. Batista holds Roman's arms down as Orton and HHH just swing these canes on his back. Roman hits Orton with a Superman Punch from out of nowhere, but he is quickly brought back down to size. Roman starts crawling away towards the entrance as HHH swings a chair at his back. Ambrose tackles HHH, but is quickly beaten down by Evolution. Orton gives him a DDT on the floor and as they crowd around Roman, we're shown Seth Rollins standing on the tron and he leaps off onto Evolution. After that, Seth crawls back towards the ring with Evolution following him from behind. Batista gets back to the ring first and Spears Seth from out of mid-air. Batista picks Seth up for the Batista Bomb, but Seth slides off his shoulders, which allows Roman to Spear Batista and Seth pins him and we have our first elimination after 27 minutes. Orton slides back inside and RKOs Seth, and covers him but the pin is broken up by Roman. Orton prepares to give a DDT, but Ambrose swings a chair into his back and hits a headlock faceplant into the chair to take Orton out of the match. So its now The Shield vs Triple H. Or so it should be. After HHH low blows Dean, Batista comes in and Spears Roman, and then Orton slides a sledgehammer to HHH. HHH hits Ambrose in the head with it before he prepares a shot for Roman, but before he can, Seth springboards from offscreen and knees HHH in the face, and he stumbles into a Spear from Roman. 1, 2, 3. The Shield clean sweeps Evolution! Which is… Ya know, a big deal. I think this match is underrated for the fact it shows a clear difference between the teams. Because even though Evolution was comprised of 3 of the greatest of all time, they were individuals, while The Shield was a team… At least we all thought before we witnessed the chair shot heard around the world. But as for this match, I thought it was great. What a war it was.

My Rating: ****

Cagematch Rating: 6.65

My Rating: 7.5/10

This show really teeters on the edge of being great. Because its got some good matches worth watching on it, its just a matter of sitting through the rest of the event. So while part of me wants to go higher, I don't think I can.

No Way Out 2004

Match 1: WWE Tag Team Championship 3-on-2 Handicap Match - Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty (c) def. The Basham Brothers & Shaniqua (7:38)

Before we get to the good stuff, we have an hour of agonizingly boring PPV to get through, starting with this. This was rough to say the least in addition to how boring it is. It doesn't help that Scotty gets beat up for almost the entire match. He's the only one the Bashams and Shaniqua can hurt, so thats the whole match until Rikishi gets tagged in. Cagematch said this was 7 and a half minutes. I don't believe that. It had to have been at least 10 minutes because it felt longer. So after Rikishi gets the hot tag, he comes in and just rolls over the competition. Shaniqua almost pins Rikishi as the Bashams dropped with a double powerbomb from the second rope. But Rikishi kicked out. Scotty dives on the Bashams and Rikishi drops his fat ass on Shaniqua to retain the titles.

My Rating: *1/4

Match 2: Blindfold Match - Jamie Noble def. Nidia (4:25)

Now look, I know this wasn't meant to be a classic or anything, its meant to entertain. But this was not entertaining. To be clear, its only Noble who has to be blinded to give Nidia a chance. So for like four minutes, Nidia just fucks with him while Jamie stomps his feet. He makes like he's about to grab her boobs cause he can't see her and he has her backed in a corner. Like, I know this is supposed to be comedy, but its not good comedy. So Noble takes his blindfold off at the end and looks around cause he somehow knew the referee wasn't looking. He sees Nidia on the top rope for some reason and throws her off before locking her in a Dragon Sleeper. Match sucks. Moving on.

My Rating: DUD

Match 3: The World's Greatest Tag Team def. The APA (7:20)

Another throwaway match. Bradshaw comes into the match with his right arm taped up because he hurt it in a match on SmackDown. So they set up this injury angle for Bradshaw, only for Haas and Benjamin to give Faarooq the isolation treatment and damage his arm. How does that make sense? But anyway, the match isn't terrible, its just boring. Once Faarooq tags in Bradshaw, the pace starts to pick up because he just rolls over Haas and Benjamin. He powerbombs Benjamin and covers him. The pin is broken up by Haas. Bradshaw clotheslines the hell out of Haas and turns back around to a superkick from Shelton to give Team Angle the win.

My Rating: **1/2

So after that, Goldberg finally arrives and takes his seat in the front row, since Austin gave him a front row ticket. Then Paul Heyman comes out, he threatens to have Goldberg removed from the building, but then Brock Lesnar comes out and now he starts trash talking Goldberg. This is the final straw for Goldberg. he hops over the barricade and gets in the ring. Lesnar is the first one to make a move and he tries to F5 Goldberg, but he slides out of it and picks Lesnar up, dropping him with a Jackhammer. And then security, who really should've been there sooner finally run out to escort Goldberg out of the arena. And he definitely won't be back for sure. He's gone.

Match 4: Hardcore Holly def. Rhyno (9:50)

This match got off to a hilariously bad start. Holly makes his entrance first. Then after Brock leaves, Rhyno comes out and Holly doesn't even wait for him to get to the ring. He meets him halfway up the ramp and they start fighting up there. Then when they get in the ring, side headlock take over. Bruh! Holly couldn't wait to kick his ass and then he's like, “I'm just gonna headlock him.” So yeah, this match sucks too. Its pretty boring. Rhyno works on Holly's ribs, beats them up until we come to the finish, where Rhyno Gores him, Holly rolls out. Rhyno throws him back inside, Holly hits a surprise Alabama Slam and wins the match. So Rhyno beat on him most of the match, hit his finisher, only for Holly to pull the win out of nowhere. Get fucked Rhyno.

My Rating: **

That entire section of the event that I just covered was all one hour. That was just hour one of this show. Its unreal how bad SmackDown PPVs were this year.

Match 5: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Chavo Guerrero def. Rey Mysterio (c) (17:11)

But then finally, we reach a match actually worth watching! Hooray! Yeah, I liked this match. Its not as good as the match they had at The Bash later that year, but I think this was a well worked match. Rey Mysterio had professional boxer, Jorge Paez, who I legitimately have never heard of until now, while Chavo had his dad, Chavo Sr. in his corner. Right away, we see the difference in styles between the two. Rey with his quick high flyer style and Chavo with his mat game. Rey hits a 619 on Chavo pretty early in the match, but is yanked down as he jumps by Chavo Sr. And then Jorge Paez comes along and knocks out Sr. But the referee sends Paez to the back, even though he didn't touch Chavo Jr. So Jr. goes out to revive his papa, but Rey stops him with a springboard crossbody to the floor. Rey tosses him back in and hits a springboard legdrop. But shortly after, Chavo hits a gutbuster from the second rope and from that point, Chavo attacks Rey's ribcage. But Rey keeps himself in it with his quickness, delivering fast attacks. He comes back and hits a big moonsault from the top rope. But Chavo grabs him and hits a Gory Bomb. Rey kicks out after that. Rey hits Chavo with another 619 and goes for the West Coast Pop, but Chavo reverses it, by rolling back and applying a half Lasso from El Paso, pulling back on Rey's leg. Mysterio grabs the bottom rope to escape. Rey goes up to the top rope and Chavo Sr. has woken up. With the referee reprimanding Jr., Sr. shoves Rey off and lands throat first on top rope and Chavo rolls him up from behind to take the title after a good match.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 6: WWE Championship #1 Contenders Triple Threat Match - Kurt Angle def. John Cena & Big Show (12:19)

A decent match here, but compared to most of this card, this was a classic. The match begins and Kurt tries to fight Big Show while Cena sits in the corner and laughs. Kurt gets in Cena's face. Some words are said and Cena tries his luck with Big Show and he gets thrown down too as Kurt laughs and says “not so easy is it?” Cena doesn't take too kindly to that and he starts throwing down with Kurt. Big Show cuts their fight short and he starts to dominate this match. Big Show throws Kurt into Cena’s knee which has a knee brace on it. There's a brief moment where Big Show is taken out by a low blow from Kurt. But Big Show gets back in eventually and starts throwing Kurt and Cena around again. Cena starts build some momentum and hits a elbow from the top rope to a standing Big Show, who is then knocked down by a missile dropkick from Kurt. Cena throws Kurt out of the ring and picks Big Show up before dropping him with an FU. Angle comes back in and attempts an Angle Slam, but Cena lands on his feet and hits him with a DDT. Cena covers Big Show, but Show gets his foot on the rope. Angle gets up and sends Cena out of the ring and hits Big Show with an Angle Slam, which Show kicks out of. Cena comes in and tries an FU on Angle, who slides down Cena's back, picks his leg and brings him down into an Ankle Lock. Big Show grabs Angle by the throat and hits a Chokeslam. Big Show hits Cena with a Chokeslam next and covers him, but Kurt grabs his Ankle and applies the Ankle Lock. Big Show rolls on his back and just shoves Kurt off. Cena picks Angle up for an FU, but Big Show from the mat just chops Cena's bad knee. Big Show picks Cena up and throws him into the corner. Kurt grabs Show and Angle Slams over the ropes to the floor. Then he grabs Cena's ankle and reapplies the Ankle Lock. Cena taps out and Angle has a WWE Title shot at WrestleMania… But against who?

My Rating: ***1/4

Main Event: WWE Championship Match - Eddie Guerrero def. Brock Lesnar (c) (29:55)

It may not be well known, but Eddie Guerrero is my all time favorite wrestler. I've watched this many times before because not only is it a masterpiece with a great story. But the moment when Eddie Guerrero is announced the new WWE Champion is such a beautiful moment. And Brock Lesnar was the perfect final boss for Eddie too. This match is, in my opinion, the best example of a David vs Goliath battle in wrestling history. Brock really comes into this match confident, like he's just going to run through Eddie Guerrero and head to WrestleMania. Lesnar pretty much just throws Eddie across the ring so much at the start. He takes Eddie to suplex city before suplex city was a thing. Eddie gets enough to make it look like he's stumbling Brock, only for Brock to shut him right back down. He catches Eddie out of a hurricanrana and basically drops him before spinning around still holding Eddie and throwing him off. Managing to turn into what was an obvious botch into something better. Brock throws Eddie across the ring a few times, and Eddie finally decides he has to roll outside. Eddie hangs Brock up on the top rope and drags him to the ring post and slams his legs into it. But Brock pulls Eddie into the post using his leg strength. And just like before, Lesnar starts to dominate Eddie, move at his pace. Eddie has a new strategy though, which is attack the legs. Brock goes a leaping knee in the corner and Eddie dodges. As Brock lands on the floor, he clutches his knee and Eddie flies over the rope onto Lesnar outside. Both men roll back in and Eddie starts building up a comeback. But Brock picks up and drops Eddie on the top rope. Lesnar stands over Eddie, and Eddie grabs and twists Brock's knee, bringing the big man down and locks in the STF. Lesnar escapes by prying Eddie's hands apart because he's just such a big mofo. Eddie tries to keep Brock off his feet, but every attempt to lock in another submission, he gets shoved off. Brock throws Eddie back with a belly to belly but Eddie manages to knock Brock on his back with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors and then he locks in the Figure 4. Brock drags his own body and Eddie's towards the ropes and grabs the bottom rope. This portion of the match is pretty slow. Brock thwarts Eddie’s next attempt at a comeback and just grounds his body into the mat. Some blood trickles from Brock's nose and he yells at Eddie, getting more irritated that this match isn't over yet. Eddie throws a headbutt on Brock to escape the bear hug he's in. Eddie goes after the knee again and hits 3 Amigos on Lesnar. Eddie goes for a Frog Splash but Brock dodges it. Brock picks Eddie up and the referee stupidly gets too close and is taken out as Brock hits an F5. Brock covers Eddie, but we have no referee. So Brock leaves the ring and grabs the WWE Title and slides back in the ring, just to turn around and get Speared by Goldberg! Eddie gets up, looks at the title gets a cheshire cat grin and goes to swing, but Brock kicks Eddie and picks Eddie up for another F5. Eddie counters it into a DDT! And he goes up one more time to hit a Frog Splash! Referee crawls over. One. Two. Three!!! “Eddie Guerrero is champion!” Michael Cole exclaims on commentary. The celebration begins! The image of the big red letters spelling “Eddie” in the audience is forever burned into my brain. This is my favorite wrestling moment ever. Because nobody deserved this moment more than Latino Heat!

My Rating: *****

Cagematch Rating: 6.66 (Gasp)

My Rating: 7.5/10

This is a complicated show to rate. Because it is unfortunately a SmackDown PPV in 2004. Which means a lot of this card suuuuuucks. The first 4 matches were all in the first hour. But they made a pretty great comeback with the final 3 matches. Rey and Chavo a pretty good matchup, followed by a decent Triple Threat and then an absolute classic of a main event followed by the best moment in wrestling history (at least to me).

Great Balls of Fire (2017)

Match 1: Bray Wyatt def. Seth Rollins (12:10)

A painfully average match to begin the show. Because I know they can do better than this. I guess it doesn't help though that Bray was in the middle of a feud with Finn Balor when he started randomly feuding with Seth. This just feels like a TV level match on PPV that somehow features main event level talent. Bray takes control of the match early by flinging Seth off the apron into the steps and he just wears Seth down in the ring. Seth starts to hit his babyface comeback. The match is more even but the pace doesn't really pick up a whole lot. Bray taunts Seth and tells him to fight. Seth stands up and starts fists at Bray. Bray pokes Seth in the eye as the referee gets between and that opens up the door for Wyatt to hit Sister Abigail and get the win.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 2: Big Cass def. Enzo Amore (5:25)

Even as somebody who didn't even like this tag team, I thought breaking them up was a stupid idea. They were so over a team so why split them up? Especially when neither of them were ready to be singles guys. But anyway, with the rating this match has on Cagematch, you'd think it was booked stupidly or botchy and one of the worst matches on the planet. No, its fine for what its supposed to be, which is a squash match. I don't know if people were expecting a 5 star match or something. But like I said, its a squash match so its not Taker/Michaels classic, I thought it was hilarious that Cass pressed Enzo over his head and just tossed his ass to the floor. Enzo crawls back into the ring and Cass shakes his head before kicking Enzo back to the mat and pins him to take the win.

My Rating: **

Match 3: Raw Tag Team Championship 30-Minute Ironman Match - The Bar (c) def. The Hardy Boyz (30:00)

The final match in the trilogy. Its an odd trilogy because I think every match is pretty on par with each other but this match has such a great finish. Cesaro and Sheamus score the first fall immediately because Cesaro comes in, distracts Matt so Sheamus can hit a Brogue Kick and pick up their first fall in under a minute. From there, The Bar pretty much dominates the match for almost another 10 minutes and score a 2nd win after a Celtic Cross to Jeff. With 20 minutes on the clock, the Hardys have to win at least 3 times to beat the Bar now. In that sense, I do like this match, how it makes a Hardys comeback seem impossible. But Jeff eventually makes the tag to Matt, who comes in and just rams Cesaro's head into the turnbuckles repeatedly. After taking Sheamus off the apron, the Hardys work together and double team Cesaro, that ends in Jeff hitting a Twist of Fate and pinning the Swiss man to give them their first fall. Within the next few minutes, The Hardys start to get on a roll but as Matt rolls Sheamus back in the ring, Cesaro grabs him and throws him face first into the ring post and Matt gets counted out, giving The Bar a 3-1 lead. And with 13 more minutes, the Hardys’ chances of winning drastic gone down. These last 10 minutes is when the match starts to get really good. Cesaro knocks Jeff off the apron and locks Matt in the Sharpshooter, Jeff makes the save. Cesaro goes to uppercut Matt in the corner, but Matt turns around and hooks Cesaro's arms. Jeff tags himself in and Matt backslides Cesaro before Jeff jumps and holds Cesaro's legs down with his own, Cesaro is pinned, giving The Hardys their 2nd fall. There's a couple near falls for the Hardys. After taking Cesaro out, The Hardys double team Sheamus and Matt nearly gets the pin with a moonsault but Cesaro stops the pin at the last possible moment. After Cesaro is thrown out again, Matt and Sheamus move to the top rope where Matt hits a Twist of Fate to even the score. Matt tags Jeff in and he goes for a Swanton, but Cesaro pulls Sheamus out of the way and to the outside, but Jeff dives on them both before throwing Sheamus back inside. Matt and Jeff hit a splash, legdrop combo, Cesaro makes the save and in the scuffle, Cesaro gets tagged in, I don't even remember seeing when, but Matt drops Sheamus followed by a Swanton from Jeff, who doesn't realize Sheamus is the legal man and after the Swanton, Cesaro slides in and pins Jeff to get that much needed 4th fall with 30 seconds left. So then Cesaro slides out of the ring and Jeff chases after him. They slide back in the ring and Jeff hits a Twist of Fate, but Jeff only covers him with 2 seconds left and the clock runs out on the Hardys chance. The Bar retains!

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 4: Raw Women's Championship Match - Sasha Banks def. Alexa Bliss (c) via countout (11:40)

A decent match. I think it was just starting to get good when it ended with a wet fart. Early in the match, Alexa decides she doesn't wanna wrestle and tries to run, so Sasha goes out and drags her back to the ring by her hair. But as Sasha gets back on the apron, Alexa sweeps her legs out, and Sasha's back slams into the apron. Bliss starts to damage Sasha's back. Sasha eventually gets some momentum building and they go back and forth. Alexa hits one of the smoothest yoshi-tonics I've ever seen. Alexa goes for Twisted Bliss, but Sasha gets her knees up and takes advantage of Bliss by locking in the Bank Statement. Bliss is able to escape by grabbing the bottom rope. The match isn't so bad but when it starts to get better, Alexa gets herself counted out. Boooooo. Sasha doesn't let that slide, she runs after Alexa and the fight continues and ends with Sasha hitting a meteora off the stage.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 5: Intercontinental Championship Match - The Miz (c) def. Dean Ambrose (11:20)

A pretty good midcard match. I think their match Extreme Rules match was really good as well. Miz had the Miztourage, Axel and Bo out there with him as well as his lovely, lovely wife Maryse. Ambrose goes outside and starts beating up Axel, first thing he does before he rolls back in and attacks Miz. Ambrose gives Bo similar treatment. But the distractions eventually allow Miz to take control and he grinds Ambrose into the mat. Dean eventually starts his babyface comeback. And the pace starts to pick and we start to have a match. Dean hits a double underhook suplex off the top rope, but Miz goes after Dean's knee and after weakening it, he puts Ambrose in the Figure Four. After Ambrose reaches the ropes, Ambrose starts to fight a 4 on 1 battle because Axel and Dallas are constantly trying to attack, distract, whatever they can do. Ambrose is able to avoid getting hit with a Skull Crushing Finale a few times. Ambrose is pulled out of the ring by Axel and Bo as Maryse has the referee distracted. But Ambrose fights them off as well as Miz. Ambrose dives on all 3 men from the top rope and tosses Miz back inside. Ambrose comes off the turnbuckle again, but Miz sidesteps and tries for the SKF again, but Dean switches out and reverses it into a Dirty Deeds. But Miz is too close to the ropes, so Maryse puts his foot on the bottom rope to save it. Maryse once again gets on the apron, distracting the referee, Axel provides a distraction for Ambrose so Bo can hit him in the head and Miz can hit SKF to win. Lots of interfering but cheating is a Miz trademark so I guess its consistent.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 6: Ambulance Match - Braun Strowman def. Roman Reigns (16:35)

Match of the night goes to the two big men slabbin’ meat! I loved this match despite its abrupt ending. This was nothing but a beat down drag out fight and it was awesome. The early part of the match in the ring is mostly Strowman's match. He dog walks Roman early and Reigns is just trying to survive. He actually manages to get Strowman off his feet a couple times, but then Braun just gets back up and beats up Roman again. Strowman hits the Powerslam early. But Roman finds an opening when Strowman ran into the ring post (as he typically did). And Roman goes after Braun’s elbow that he'd gotten surgery on. Roman takes a chair to that elbow and goes to town. Strowman gets back on his feet and Roman swings again, and Strowman blocks it with his good arm. Roman swings again and again and Strowman tanks every shot. Strowman flings Roman up the ramp toward the ambulance, and the rest of the match happens on stage. Braun flings Roman into the side of the ambulance. Roman stays in the fight though and nearly knocks Strowman back into the ambulance with Superman Punches. Strowman throws Roman back on stage and Strowman runs straight into the stage set up after Roman dodges him. Strowman catches Roman and prepares to hit a running Powerslam, but Reigns slides behind him and pushes him THROUGH the set this time. Roman tries to drag Braun’s body to the ambulance, but Braun just flings Roman off the stage. Braun goes after him but Roman swings a light at Braun’s head. Roman goes for the Spear, but Braun sidesteps, Roman dives head first in the ambulance, Braun closes the doors and just like that its over. Strowman wins the match, but as Strowman said to Roman many times before, Roman wasn't finished with him…

My Rating: ****

Roman opens those doors and Spears the hell out of Strowman. He picks Braun up and slams the back door into his head over and over again. He loads Strowman up into the ambulance, he tosses the driver out and takes the wheel, driving to the backstage area. Roman looks in the sideview mirror and then backs the ambulance into a semi-trailer with Braun in the back and I shit you not, there was not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 camera cuts for that one thing. Four camera cuts for Roman backing up a vehicle. Cue Eric Bischoff, “Kevin Dunn, what the hell was that?” Anyway, the back of the ambulance is totally destroyed and a bunch of people rush over to save Braun. Cole, Graves and Booker all do their “serious voices”. And maybe I could take this seriously if it wasn't for the fact there was a very simple solution to getting Braun out… pulling the vehicle forward. because its not like the doors were jammed in, they were busted off. All they needed to do was drive the ambulance forward, but everyone at the scene forgot how to drive I guess, including the guys in the fire truck who showed up a bit later.

Match 7: Heath Slater def. Curt Hawkins (2:10)

Oh yeah, this happens too I guess. I thought about finding a picture of this match but just like WWE did when this match ended, I'm just not gonna show ya anything. This is because I guess they were taking forever to get Braun out of the ambulance. There's not really anything to say about it. The finish happens off screen because they're showing us whats going on backstage with Braun. But they got some air time, so… Good for them I guess?

Anyway, back to whats important. They finally get Braun out of the ambulance using the fucking Jaws of Life of all things. Braun basically crawls out and refuses anyone's help. He stumbles away and thats the end of that. And truthfully, this is where Roman should've turned heel and Strowman turned face. That's what I thought was happening, a double turn. But Roman went back to being boring big dog good guy the next night, as if we were supposed to cheer this? “He committed attempted murder, why aren't you cheering?” Asked the old bastard owner confused.

Main Event: Universal Championship Match - Brock Lesnar (c) def. Samoa Joe (6:25)

So after all that goes down, its time for the much anticipated main event. 18 year old me was so freaking hyped up for this. And so was everyone else. And they built it up pretty well. So you had a dream match with all the hype in the world behind it and it was… Meh. Not bad, but it just left me with such a feeling of “wait, thats it?” Which wound up becoming a theme for Brock's matches around this point. It started off promising with Joe jumping Brock during the announcements. Joe takes him to the announce tables and drops Brock through one of them. Joe gets back in the ring and just waits. Lesnar eventually crawls back in the ring and with a nod and a smile, the bell rings and the match officially begins. Unfortunately, this match is pretty much one or two things the whole time. Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch (like 3 times), Brock tosses Joe with german suplexes. Joe nearly makes Brock pass out on attempt 3 of the Coquina, but Brock reverses it into an F5 and, yep, that's it. Pack up, we can go home. Just another installment into Brock's lazy era. I was very disappointed.

My Rating: ***

Cagematch Rating: 6.66

My Rating: 6.5/10

Both a fun and frustrating show at the same time. Because this card does not look bad. I think with a card like this, it had potential to be WWE's best PPV of the year. But it just falls short. I can't say I had much fun watching it. Apart from the aftermath of the Ambulance Match but thats only because it was bad in a funny way. Decent enough.

WrestleMania III

Funny enough, WWE recently released the full event on YouTube, and that happened to coincide at the time I had to watch it.

Match 1: The Can-Am Connection def. Bob Orton & Don Muraco (5:37)

So an okay opener. It had a nice quick pace to get the crowd excited. Martel and Tom Zenk were more high flying at this point and Muraco and Orton were clearly not ready for that because they didn't get much offense in. It was pretty much all Can-Am's match the whole time. Which is surprising considering Muraco and Orton were billed as tough veterans. It has a pretty good finish as Muraco was crossbodied by Zenk as Muraco is tripped up by Martel behind him. Can-Am Connection get the upset win in the opener.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 2: Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes ended in a double countout (7:44)

Here we have two slow muscley men seeing who has the better Full Nelson. So obviously, the only way the match should end is by double countout. And because Hercules wants to show he has the better Full Nelson, he goes after Billy's back. Obviously. Full Nelson hurts the back right? Hercules winds up applying the hold, kinda. Doesn't really have the hands locked. Billy escapes by brute strength. Maybe if Herc locked the hands, he could've won. Billy starts to make a comeback and he locks in the Full Nelson, only for Herc to run forward towards the ropes. Both men go through the ropes to the outside where Haynes locks in the hold again long enough where they both get counted out. Not that I cared about who won, but like, why though? Then after the match, Haynes tries to corner Bobby Heenan. But Hercules goes after Billy with a chain and busts him open.

My Rating: **

Match 3: Hillbilly Jim, Haiti Kid & Little Beaver def. King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo & Lord Littlebrook via DQ (4:24)

Just a nothing match that unfortunately led to one of the little guys retiring. The match sucks too which is even worse. The rules are simple, only Jim and Bundy can fight each other while the small guys could only wrestle each other. Come to think of it, I don't think Haiti Kid got tagged in once. Not much to say about this aside from Bundy almost killing Little Beaver. Bundy has Jim backed into a corner and Beaver runs in to try and help, but then Bundy says “fuck this midget.” And body slams him before dropping an elbow on him. And that move ends up ending Beaver's career. Bundy’s team is disqualified and even his own teammates come to the aid of Beaver.

My Rating: DUD

Match 4: Loser Must Bow Match - Harley Race def. Junkyard Dog (4:22)

Rules are pretty simple, the loser must bow down to the winner. But this match is not much better than the last. JYD pretty much dominates the whole match. And they bump around like mannequins, it looks awful. JYD just beats Harley's ass for 4 minutes til Bobby Heenan distracts him, which allows Harley to hit a belly to belly and win. And thats it. So JYD reluctantly abides by the match stipulation and bows to Harley, but then whoops his ass with a chair right after. Match sucks.

My Rating: *

Match 5: The Dream Team def. The Rougeau Brothers (4:03)

This wasn't a bad match though. Its just short is all. Its pretty much a 10 minute tag match cut down to 4 minutes which I don't mind. Valentine and Beefcake double team and keep Jacques away from his brudda. Valentine gets Jacques in the Figure 4 but Jacques reaches the ropes to get out. He tags in Raymond, who turns the match around for them. He winds up getting Valentine in a sleeper hold, but Beefcake comes off the top rope to try and save him, but Raymond lets go and sidesteps so Brutus hits Valentine instead. The Rougeaus hit a move where Raymond holds Valentine up so Jacques can hit a seated senton. Raymond covers Valentine as Jacques intercepts Brutus. The referee is more interested in breaking that up though, as opposed to counting the pinfall, which gives Dino Bravo a chance to drop an elbow on Raymond from the top rope. Greg covers Ray and the Dream Team win. But Greg and Dino are both like, “fuck you Brutus, you bitch.” And leave without him.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 6: Hair vs. Hair Match - Roddy Piper def. Adrian Adonis (6:54)

What was going to be Piper’s retirement match. Can you imagine if he had lost his hair in his farewell match (at the time). That would've been terrible. Anyway, right away Piper risks by DQ'd by whipping Adonis with his belt. Then Jimmy Hart gets on the apron to distract him, but it allows Adonis to club him from behind and now he grabs the belt and starts whipping Piper with it. But Piper fights back and Adonis tries to leave only for Piper and Jimmy both to grab Adonis by the arms. Piper winds up dragging Hart in because he's holding on to Adonis. Piper throws Hart to the ropes into Adonis and both men fly over to the floor. Piper still has the upper hand until Jimmy trips Piper from the floor. So Adonis now has the advantage and takes it to Piper who keeps telling Adonis to bring it on. But Jimmy sprays Piper’s face with… Something, perfume I'm guessing and Adonis locks in the Sleeper Hold. Here he basically has the match won because he puts Piper out, but he lets go before the referee calls it. W-why? It doesn't make sense. Adonis and Hart are prematurely celebrating, and you never wanna go off prematurely. Beefcake who is a babyface now I guess, runs down to wake Piper up. Piper stands back up, punches Jimmy out of the ring and ducks under a swing from Adonis with the hedge clippers he brought down and Piper locks Adonis in the Sleeper Hold. The referee is very quick to say Adrian's out. He's really gotta pee or take a shit or something because Adrian was clearly still awake when the ref called it. Anyway, none of that shit matters because Adonis is getting a haircut and Beefcake is the one who gives it to him. And I guess Brutus loved giving that haircut so much that it became his thing. So Piper picks up a mirror that was just around I suppose and shows Adonis what he looks like. Adonis hated it so bad, he punches the mirror and unsuccessfully chases Piper around the ring before cutting his losses and leaving. Piper basks in the cheers of 90 thousand plus after winning his “retirement” match.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 7: The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis def. The British Bulldogs & Tito Santana (8:52)

Second best match of the night in terms of in ring quality. Which is no surprise considering the talent and also Danny Davis. Matilda, The Bulldogs’ bulldog, chases Jimmy Hart out of the ring which is absolutely hilarious. WrestleMania 3, also known as the worst day of Jimmy Hart's life. This man’s getting beat up every time he's out there. I don't know if this is true, but I think its Davis’ first match (televised at least) because they keep saying they want him to get in there. Bret and Neidhart do most of the wrestling on their team, so its pretty much 3-on-2 for a lot of it, Davis stands on the apron most of the match and it gives The Bulldogs and Santana an edge, they make quick tags in and out. The Foundation tries to double team Santana. But Santana tags out to Davey Boy who comes in and just muscles Neidhart around the ring. Davey tags in Dynamite, but Dynamite winds up getting the isolation treatment and kept away from his teammates. Bret and Jim tag in Danny a few times, just for Davis to come in, give Dynamite a couple kicks and tag back out. They tag Davis back in once more and slingshot him inside using the ropes, but Dynamite gets his knees up as Davis is about to land on him. Dynamite makes the hot tag to Santana, who runs inside like a house of fire to beat on Davis. Tito hits his flying forearm but decides to keep up the beating and lock in the Figure 4. But Neidhart doesn't allow him too. Santana tags Davey Boy inside and Smith opts to just beat up Danny some more before hitting a running Powerslam. He covers Davis, but Neidhart saves the match. Santana comes in and knocks Neidhart out with a forearm, but Bret comes in and knocks Santana out. Dynamite backs Bret into a corner as the referee is trying to separate them, Jimmy Hart hands Davis his megaphone and he uses it to knock Davey out before pinning him.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 8: Butch Reed def. Koko B. Ware (3:39)

A battle of speed vs strength. Koko's speed is good enough to throw Reed off his game for a little bit, but also Koko throws some fist in Reed's face so that also doesn't hurt. But it is a 3 ½ minute match so its not like you can get much from it. Reed overpowers Koko though, yada yada yada, you don't care. Koko tries for a crossbody but Reed rolls back with it and gets Koko on his shoulders, holds him down to take the win.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 9: Intercontinental Championship Match - Ricky Steamboat def. Randy Savage (c) (14:35)

Now move over because its time to talk about a classic. The first great WrestleMania match! They built up to the end of this match perfectly. And its over quick. They managed to tell their story in less than 15 minutes! Making this one of the most rewatchable matches ever as well. Steamboat is the first one to get some offense in as he hits a few arm drags and picks Savage up by the throat before tossing him to the mat. Savage tries to take control of the match but ends up ramming his own shoulder into the turnbuckles, so Steamboat goes after that. One pointed elbow lets Savage get back in the game before he grabs Ricky and tosses him over the ropes to the floor. Ricky gets back up and Savage reaches over to drag him up and gives him a pointed elbow to the throat. Savage drags Ricky back in but Ricky fights back and rams Savage's head into the turnbuckle and knocks him back into the ropes, Savage's arms get caught between the top and middle ropes and Ricky takes the chance to rain punches on him. Savage kicks Ricky and is freed by the ref. This next sequence is done so quick and so smoothly. Ricky reverses a whip to the ropes, Savage comes back and grabs Ricky to whip him around and Ricky comes back to hit a crossbody. Gets a 2 count. Ricky hits an arm drag, Savage stands back up and whips Ricky to the ropes again, Ricky comes back with a shoulder block. Ricky hits the ropes again, another shoulder block. Ricky hits the ropes again, Savage steps aside, throws Ricky into the ropes both men bounce off the ropes Ricky moves backward into a knee to the back of the neck from Savage. Simple stuff, but its done so quickly and smoothly. Savage goes to throw Ricky outside, but Ricky skins the cat and comes back in, Savage comes back and clotheslines Ricky to the floor now. Savage goes outside and knees Ricky in the back again, pushing over the barricade. George Steele goes over to help Ricky back up, picking him up and carrying him back to the ring. But as he gets Ricky back in, Savage just grabs him again and throws him back out, then goes up to drop an axe handle from the top rope. Randy tosses Ricky back inside and does the same thing. And then grabs Ricky by the hair and runs with him to the ropes before leaving over them to the floor, dropping Ricky's throat over the top rope. Every move Randy makes he covers Ricky after, just desperate to end this match. Ricky starts to fight back and leans back on the ropes. Randy runs at him and Steamboat back body drops Savage over the ropes to the floor! Ricky goes out and tosses Savage back inside and goes to the top rope. The referee yells at him to get down, Savage gets behind the ref probably thinking he's safe. But Ricky instead leaps over the ref to deliver a chop to Savage! Ricky covers him but Savage gets his foot on the rope. Savage rolls outside and Ricky goes after, chasing him back to the ring. Ricky rams his shoulder into Savage's gut and sunset flips over him and brings him down into a pin. They are making this referee work tonight, even he’s sweating. Ricky starts doing quick pins, trying to end it. Rolls him up, jackknife pin, small package and Savage kicks out every time. Ricky catapults Savage into the turnbuckle and his head hits the post. Ricky tries to pin him again and Savage kicks out. And immediately on his feet, Savage takes a swing at the referee who ducks it. That flew under the radar for Gorilla and Jesse but it looked like Savage knew his title reign was in danger and tried to get DQ'd. Savage finally manages to catch a break by pulling Ricky by his tights into the ring post shoulder first. Randy goes to whip Ricky, who reverses it, but Randy reverses the reversal but winds up throwing Ricky into the referee. Ricky and the ref go down, but Randy goes up to drop the big elbow on Steamboat. Savage covers him and his the match won, but there's no referee to count the pin. So Savage goes out to grab the ring bell, basically prying it out of the time keeper’s hands. He climbs the ropes, only for Steele to grab it out of his hands, so Randy kicks him in the head and takes the bell back. But Steele shoves Randy off now. The referee and Ricky both begin to wake up. Savage picks Steamboat up and goes for a body slam, but its reversed into a small package. 1, 2, 3. The Dragon has defeated the Macho Man in WrestleManias first classic! Some people might think this match hasn't aged well. I disagree, this is a match that still holds up to this day. Not a waste in motion and everything is done so beautifully. A true masterpiece!

My Rating: *****

Match 10: Honky Tonk Man def. Jake Roberts (7:04)

God having to watch the rest of this show after that last match was a little exhausting, but gotta push through. This match in itself isn't bad despite the fact Honky Tonk Man is in it. Jake jumps Honky as he's getting in the ring, doesn't even wait for him to get his Elvis ripoff suit off but rips it off for him. The first few minutes, Roberts beats on Honky and goes for a DDT, only for Honky to escape and roll outside. Roberts goes right after him and goes to whip Honky, but Honky reverses it and Roberts runs into the ring post before stumbling into the barricade. As he tries to get back in, Honky knees him in the face and Roberts falls back into the barrier. Honky beats on him some more before going for the Shake, Rattle n Roll, but Roberts reverses it and starts to comeback to the point where Honky begs him off. Roberts goes for a DDT, but Jimmy Hart grabs his foot. Roberts turns to get him off but Honky rolls him up from behind to win. Roberts grabs Honky’s guitar and swings at him in rage. Honky ducks and runs away as the guitar shatters against the ring post. So him and Alice Cooper decide to have some fun with Jimmy Hart instead. And for all the talk about whether it was Hercules or Billy Jack that had the better full nelson, uh, apparently its Jake Roberts because he holds Jimmy in one, as he flails about and Cooper drags Jake’s big snake Damien out. Honky Tonk Man eventually runs back down to save his guy. I think thats the last time Jimmy has to get beat up tonight.

My Rating: ***

Match 11: Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff def. The Killer Bees via DQ (5:44)

Before this match even begins, Nikolai tries to sing the Russian national anthem as he typically did, but Hacksaw Jim Duggan runs down to the ring with his 2x4 to shut that down. Then the Killer Bees come out. And I guess Duggan is just gonna stay there. Sheik and Volkoff attack the Bees before the bell even rings. But the Bees quickly get the upper hand using speed. But Volkoff comes in to put the boots to Brunzell and now they have control of the pace. Brunzell eventually reaches Blair for the tag, but Volkoff distracted the referee so he didn't see it. Duggan then takes matters into his own hands and chases Volkoff around the ring just as Sheik puts Brunzell in the Camel Clutch. Since he couldn't catch Volkoff, Hacksaw hits Sheik with the 2x4 instead and the Bees get disqualified.

My Rating: *1/2

Main Event: WWF Championship Match - Hulk Hogan (c) def. Andre the Giant (12:01)

“The irresistible force meeting the immovable object.” A quote from Gorilla Monsoon that you still hear to this day. As much flack as I give Hogan, I can't deny the impact he's had on wrestling. This is still one of the biggest WrestleMania main events of all time. I love how, as Andre is going to the ring, people are already throwing trash. The bell rings and we get the staredown, the anticipation from the crowd is off the charts. Andre takes a swing at Hulk, he blocks it. Hulk throws some punches and immediately tries to slam Andre, but falls back with Andre on top of him and Andre nearly wins it there. Hogan sells his back and Andre immediately goes after it. Body slams, clubbing blows, irish whips to the corner. Andre puts Hogan in the most boring submission ever, the Bearhug. Andre just kinda takes his time, and each time Hogan goes down Andre says “Up.” Andre accidentally head butts the turnbuckle though and knocks himself loopy. But one big shuts Hogan's comeback down. They wind up going outside where Andre winds up headbutting the ring post after Hogan dodges. Hogan tears up the padding outside to reveal a wooden surface. Hogan brings Andre over as if he's gonna piledrive him, which… theres no fucking way, Andre back drops Hogan on the floor and it doesn't look very good. Andre brings Hogan back in the ring. Andre whips him to the ropes, misses the big boot (by a lot) and Hogan bounces back off the ropes for a big clothesline that knocks Andre off his feet. Hogan makes it back up first and scoops Andre up for a body slam, which was a big deal at the time. Hogan runs the ropes and drops a leg on Andre before pinning him to win. Hogan retains in a massive main event.

My Rating: ***

Cagematch Rating: 6.66

My Rating: 7/10

I thought about giving this event a lower rating, but upon further thought, I realized that this really is the WrestleMania that defined the magnitude of WrestleMania as a whole. One of the greatest matches ever coupled with one of the biggest main events in WrestleMania history helped set the bar for future Manias to live up to. So to give it something low just doesn't seem right. But with that being said, out of 12 matches, there's a reason that people only ever talk about 2 of them.