Payback 2014

Match 1: United States Championship Match - Sheamus (c) def. Cesaro (11:38)

You never can go wrong when it comes to these guys. Its always a fun watch whether they're fighting or teaming. There's no lock up at the beginning, its just a fight. Sheamus tries a slingshot into the ring and Cesaro uppercuts him to the floor. And then he brings Sheamus back in with a suplex from the apron. This match was full speed ahead from then forward. They really clobber each other and just hit all their big moves. Cesaro with an uppercut. Sheamus with a White Noise. Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick, but Cesaro switches behind him and hits a nice German suplex. Sheamus reverses a Neutralizer to a White Noise before locking in the Texas Cloverleaf. Cesaro crawls towards the ropes and dangles an arm over the bottom to escape. Cesaro lifts Sheamus up on his shoulders and drops him before he grabs Sheamus’ legs and starts to spin him around the ring. But then right after, Sheamus just pulls Cesaro in with a small package to win the match. But despite the extremely weird finish, I thought this was good and a fine way to start us off.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 2: RybAxel def. The Rhodes Brothers (7:49)

This match has a really low rating that I thought was a bit harsh. The match isn't that bad, its just incredibly average. I think the story here was that Cody and Goldie had been on a losing streak. Ryback and Axel keep Goldust away from his corner for a while, this is most of the match. Goldust eventually reaches Cody, who comes in like a house of fire, springboard dropkick to Ryback, dropkicks Axel out of mid-air. Cody does end up fucking up a moonsault and thankfully Ryback and Axel were both there to catch him. Ryback catches Cody out of a disaster kick and throws him into Goldust. Cody manages to hit a Cross Rhodes on Ryback, but the pin is broken up by Axel. Goldust comes in a clotheslines Axel out of the ring. Cody goes for another disaster kick but Ryback catches him again, in a fireman's carry although its clearly supposed to be a Shell Shock, because he beats Cody with a samoan drop. So botched finish but whatevs. Cody gets a mic after the match and tells Goldust that he (Goldust) needs a better tag partner than him. This would set up Cody's most hated gimmick, Stardust.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 3: Rusev def. Big E. (3:40)

An actually decent match. Just because it didn't go for 15 minutes doesn't mean it wasn't good. It was everything it needed to be in less than 4 minutes. You could say its just “TWO BIG MEN SLABBING MEAT!” That one was for you E. Uh, anyway, this match was good for what it was. They got some big moves in and left. Rusev throws E. back with a german suplex on his head. Big E. hits a Spear off the apron. E, goes for the People's Splash as I like to call it and gets a Machka Kick to the face. And then Lana tells Rusev to crush! Rusev applies the accolade on Big E, who taps out.

My Rating: ***

Match 4: Bo Dallas vs. Kofi Kingston ended in a no contest (0:32)

I literally don't get the point of this because it goes nowhere but at least it saved us from having to watch this match because wow, I didn't give a fuck. As soon as the bell rings, Kane's pyro and music goes off and he marches down. Bo leaves the ring but he takes out Kofi and then leaves. Bo grabs a mic and tells Kofi that he’ll get back up better than ever and all he has to do… IS BO-LIEVE!

Match 5: Intercontinental Championship Match - Bad News Barrett (c) def. Rob Van Dam (9:32)

An okay match, but not a great one. I will say though, another PPV, another match where RVD is trying to win the IC Title off an englishman. The first half isn't that great since RVD was older here but he was able to still keep the pace quick towards the end. RVD gets the early advantage, but Barrett takes control and grounds Van Dam into the mat. RVD starts to comeback, but misses the Five Star attempt and gets a Black Hole Slam. RVD rolls outside and leans against the ring post, and Barrett goes for the Bullhammer elbow, but RVD dodges it and Barrett hits the post. RVD throws Barrett back in and hits a slingshot DDT. He attempts a split-legged moonsault, but Barrett gets his knees up, RVD clutches his ribs before turning around to get an elbow from Barrett, who retains.

My Rating: ***1/4

So after this is an in-ring segment. Stephanie McMahon gave Daniel Bryan an ultimatum. Give up the WWE Title or his wife, Brie would be fired. And I don't know about you guys, but I hated this. Just because it was ultimately pointless. Brie tells Steph that she can't fire her because she quits. So she has no job which I guarantee Steph doesn't care about. And Bryan wound up giving up the title later anyway so its not like any of this matters. Its dumb and stupid and I hate it.

Match 6: Last Man Standing Match - John Cena def. Bray Wyatt (24:15)

Oh boy, this match went places. The early part of the match wasn't so special but damn, the pace picked up and chaos ensued. First off, Bray had Harper and Rowan out there with him, so The Usos ran out to help even the odds. In the first several minutes, Bray hits a Sister Abigail, Cena gets up. Cena hits an AA, Bray gets up. But Harper and Rowan finally make a move and jump Cena, which makes The Usos jump in and defend him. The Usos and The Wyatts are all sent back, leaving it to Cena and Bray, one on one, which is how it should be. Bray brings a chair into the ring and uses it. Cena brings a table into the ring, sets it up, but winds up going through it. Bray brings the steps into the ring and he uses them. It seems like everything John tries to do, Wyatt just fires back. But Cena manages to come back, uses the chair and the steps. Bray rolls out of the ring and Cena picks up the steps and throws them right at Bray's face. Bray gets back up and stumbles to the side of the ring. Cena leaps off the apron and gets caught and hit with Sister Abigail against the barricade. Bray picks up a chair and goes to use it, but Cena kicks him in the gut before hitting an AA on the floor. Harper and Rowan run back out to beat on Cena and also help Bray back to his feet. The Usos come back down and now the chaos starts to ensue. A couple tables come into play. Jey hits the “throwing that ass back” to Rowan through a table sitting against the barricade while Harper and Jimmy go through two tables set up outside from a superplex from the top rope. Cena and Bray finally turn back to each other. Cena ducks a clothesline but Bray runs back and hits a crossbody through the barricade. Both men manage to stand back up and they go through the crowd now. And they approach the pyrotechnic area. From there, Cena hits another AA through an equipment box and then to make sure he can't get out, he drops another one on top of him. The referee counts 10 and Cena literally buries Bray to win the match. Bray should've won, but its not a huge deal. So lets move on.

My Rating: ****

Match 7: Divas Championship Match - Paige (c) def. Alicia Fox (6:33)

Here was WWE once again, trying to make Alicia Fox a thing when she shouldn't be. This match is just straight up boring. Nothing else to say about it honestly. Fox was awful in the ring and Paige isn't exactly anyone who could carry an awful wrestler. Fox just lays on her, screams, lays on her, yells at the audience. Its just bullshit. I would say Paige began a comeback but all she does is kick Alicia down and lock in the PTO, which makes Fox tap. Both ladies come out looking like garbage here. It sucks.

My Rating: 1/2*

Main Event: No Holds Barred Elimination Tag Team Match - The Shield def. Evolution (30:55)

The future is here. Thats what this feud was all about. The Shield was already one-up on Evolution so Evolution were coming back with a vengeance here. I thought this match really great. From a storytelling perspective, I loved it. The match starts with both teams fighting at ringside, its a big brawl at the start. But then they start tagging for some reason. A trope I will never not hate. There's no DQs, why are you people following the rules?! That parts annoying, but after about 10 or so minutes, the match becomes a big shmozz again and we start having fun again. HHH KOs Rollins with a metal sheet, Orton takes Ambrose out before all 3 Evolution members turn to Roman Reigns and Triple Powerbomb him through the announce table. Evolution puts their fists together as a way to mock The Shield. Then Ambrose runs across the tables into Evolution. HHH and Orton retreat to another side of the ring and Rollins dives over the ropes into them. But their brief comeback is quickly snuffed out. Evolution take Seth and Dean out at the entrance way and turn their attention back to Roman, who has gotten back in the ring. They beat down Roman again, they go out and grab some steps, some kendo sticks. after taking Roman's vest off, they lay him on his stomach on the steps and just wail on him with these kendo sticks. Batista holds Roman's arms down as Orton and HHH just swing these canes on his back. Roman hits Orton with a Superman Punch from out of nowhere, but he is quickly brought back down to size. Roman starts crawling away towards the entrance as HHH swings a chair at his back. Ambrose tackles HHH, but is quickly beaten down by Evolution. Orton gives him a DDT on the floor and as they crowd around Roman, we're shown Seth Rollins standing on the tron and he leaps off onto Evolution. After that, Seth crawls back towards the ring with Evolution following him from behind. Batista gets back to the ring first and Spears Seth from out of mid-air. Batista picks Seth up for the Batista Bomb, but Seth slides off his shoulders, which allows Roman to Spear Batista and Seth pins him and we have our first elimination after 27 minutes. Orton slides back inside and RKOs Seth, and covers him but the pin is broken up by Roman. Orton prepares to give a DDT, but Ambrose swings a chair into his back and hits a headlock faceplant into the chair to take Orton out of the match. So its now The Shield vs Triple H. Or so it should be. After HHH low blows Dean, Batista comes in and Spears Roman, and then Orton slides a sledgehammer to HHH. HHH hits Ambrose in the head with it before he prepares a shot for Roman, but before he can, Seth springboards from offscreen and knees HHH in the face, and he stumbles into a Spear from Roman. 1, 2, 3. The Shield clean sweeps Evolution! Which is… Ya know, a big deal. I think this match is underrated for the fact it shows a clear difference between the teams. Because even though Evolution was comprised of 3 of the greatest of all time, they were individuals, while The Shield was a team… At least we all thought before we witnessed the chair shot heard around the world. But as for this match, I thought it was great. What a war it was.

My Rating: ****

Cagematch Rating: 6.65

My Rating: 7.5/10

This show really teeters on the edge of being great. Because its got some good matches worth watching on it, its just a matter of sitting through the rest of the event. So while part of me wants to go higher, I don't think I can.

No Way Out 2004

Match 1: WWE Tag Team Championship 3-on-2 Handicap Match - Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty (c) def. The Basham Brothers & Shaniqua (7:38)

Before we get to the good stuff, we have an hour of agonizingly boring PPV to get through, starting with this. This was rough to say the least in addition to how boring it is. It doesn't help that Scotty gets beat up for almost the entire match. He's the only one the Bashams and Shaniqua can hurt, so thats the whole match until Rikishi gets tagged in. Cagematch said this was 7 and a half minutes. I don't believe that. It had to have been at least 10 minutes because it felt longer. So after Rikishi gets the hot tag, he comes in and just rolls over the competition. Shaniqua almost pins Rikishi as the Bashams dropped with a double powerbomb from the second rope. But Rikishi kicked out. Scotty dives on the Bashams and Rikishi drops his fat ass on Shaniqua to retain the titles.

My Rating: *1/4

Match 2: Blindfold Match - Jamie Noble def. Nidia (4:25)

Now look, I know this wasn't meant to be a classic or anything, its meant to entertain. But this was not entertaining. To be clear, its only Noble who has to be blinded to give Nidia a chance. So for like four minutes, Nidia just fucks with him while Jamie stomps his feet. He makes like he's about to grab her boobs cause he can't see her and he has her backed in a corner. Like, I know this is supposed to be comedy, but its not good comedy. So Noble takes his blindfold off at the end and looks around cause he somehow knew the referee wasn't looking. He sees Nidia on the top rope for some reason and throws her off before locking her in a Dragon Sleeper. Match sucks. Moving on.

My Rating: DUD

Match 3: The World's Greatest Tag Team def. The APA (7:20)

Another throwaway match. Bradshaw comes into the match with his right arm taped up because he hurt it in a match on SmackDown. So they set up this injury angle for Bradshaw, only for Haas and Benjamin to give Faarooq the isolation treatment and damage his arm. How does that make sense? But anyway, the match isn't terrible, its just boring. Once Faarooq tags in Bradshaw, the pace starts to pick up because he just rolls over Haas and Benjamin. He powerbombs Benjamin and covers him. The pin is broken up by Haas. Bradshaw clotheslines the hell out of Haas and turns back around to a superkick from Shelton to give Team Angle the win.

My Rating: **1/2

So after that, Goldberg finally arrives and takes his seat in the front row, since Austin gave him a front row ticket. Then Paul Heyman comes out, he threatens to have Goldberg removed from the building, but then Brock Lesnar comes out and now he starts trash talking Goldberg. This is the final straw for Goldberg. he hops over the barricade and gets in the ring. Lesnar is the first one to make a move and he tries to F5 Goldberg, but he slides out of it and picks Lesnar up, dropping him with a Jackhammer. And then security, who really should've been there sooner finally run out to escort Goldberg out of the arena. And he definitely won't be back for sure. He's gone.

Match 4: Hardcore Holly def. Rhyno (9:50)

This match got off to a hilariously bad start. Holly makes his entrance first. Then after Brock leaves, Rhyno comes out and Holly doesn't even wait for him to get to the ring. He meets him halfway up the ramp and they start fighting up there. Then when they get in the ring, side headlock take over. Bruh! Holly couldn't wait to kick his ass and then he's like, “I'm just gonna headlock him.” So yeah, this match sucks too. Its pretty boring. Rhyno works on Holly's ribs, beats them up until we come to the finish, where Rhyno Gores him, Holly rolls out. Rhyno throws him back inside, Holly hits a surprise Alabama Slam and wins the match. So Rhyno beat on him most of the match, hit his finisher, only for Holly to pull the win out of nowhere. Get fucked Rhyno.

My Rating: **

That entire section of the event that I just covered was all one hour. That was just hour one of this show. Its unreal how bad SmackDown PPVs were this year.

Match 5: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Chavo Guerrero def. Rey Mysterio (c) (17:11)

But then finally, we reach a match actually worth watching! Hooray! Yeah, I liked this match. Its not as good as the match they had at The Bash later that year, but I think this was a well worked match. Rey Mysterio had professional boxer, Jorge Paez, who I legitimately have never heard of until now, while Chavo had his dad, Chavo Sr. in his corner. Right away, we see the difference in styles between the two. Rey with his quick high flyer style and Chavo with his mat game. Rey hits a 619 on Chavo pretty early in the match, but is yanked down as he jumps by Chavo Sr. And then Jorge Paez comes along and knocks out Sr. But the referee sends Paez to the back, even though he didn't touch Chavo Jr. So Jr. goes out to revive his papa, but Rey stops him with a springboard crossbody to the floor. Rey tosses him back in and hits a springboard legdrop. But shortly after, Chavo hits a gutbuster from the second rope and from that point, Chavo attacks Rey's ribcage. But Rey keeps himself in it with his quickness, delivering fast attacks. He comes back and hits a big moonsault from the top rope. But Chavo grabs him and hits a Gory Bomb. Rey kicks out after that. Rey hits Chavo with another 619 and goes for the West Coast Pop, but Chavo reverses it, by rolling back and applying a half Lasso from El Paso, pulling back on Rey's leg. Mysterio grabs the bottom rope to escape. Rey goes up to the top rope and Chavo Sr. has woken up. With the referee reprimanding Jr., Sr. shoves Rey off and lands throat first on top rope and Chavo rolls him up from behind to take the title after a good match.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 6: WWE Championship #1 Contenders Triple Threat Match - Kurt Angle def. John Cena & Big Show (12:19)

A decent match here, but compared to most of this card, this was a classic. The match begins and Kurt tries to fight Big Show while Cena sits in the corner and laughs. Kurt gets in Cena's face. Some words are said and Cena tries his luck with Big Show and he gets thrown down too as Kurt laughs and says “not so easy is it?” Cena doesn't take too kindly to that and he starts throwing down with Kurt. Big Show cuts their fight short and he starts to dominate this match. Big Show throws Kurt into Cena’s knee which has a knee brace on it. There's a brief moment where Big Show is taken out by a low blow from Kurt. But Big Show gets back in eventually and starts throwing Kurt and Cena around again. Cena starts build some momentum and hits a elbow from the top rope to a standing Big Show, who is then knocked down by a missile dropkick from Kurt. Cena throws Kurt out of the ring and picks Big Show up before dropping him with an FU. Angle comes back in and attempts an Angle Slam, but Cena lands on his feet and hits him with a DDT. Cena covers Big Show, but Show gets his foot on the rope. Angle gets up and sends Cena out of the ring and hits Big Show with an Angle Slam, which Show kicks out of. Cena comes in and tries an FU on Angle, who slides down Cena's back, picks his leg and brings him down into an Ankle Lock. Big Show grabs Angle by the throat and hits a Chokeslam. Big Show hits Cena with a Chokeslam next and covers him, but Kurt grabs his Ankle and applies the Ankle Lock. Big Show rolls on his back and just shoves Kurt off. Cena picks Angle up for an FU, but Big Show from the mat just chops Cena's bad knee. Big Show picks Cena up and throws him into the corner. Kurt grabs Show and Angle Slams over the ropes to the floor. Then he grabs Cena's ankle and reapplies the Ankle Lock. Cena taps out and Angle has a WWE Title shot at WrestleMania… But against who?

My Rating: ***1/4

Main Event: WWE Championship Match - Eddie Guerrero def. Brock Lesnar (c) (29:55)

It may not be well known, but Eddie Guerrero is my all time favorite wrestler. I've watched this many times before because not only is it a masterpiece with a great story. But the moment when Eddie Guerrero is announced the new WWE Champion is such a beautiful moment. And Brock Lesnar was the perfect final boss for Eddie too. This match is, in my opinion, the best example of a David vs Goliath battle in wrestling history. Brock really comes into this match confident, like he's just going to run through Eddie Guerrero and head to WrestleMania. Lesnar pretty much just throws Eddie across the ring so much at the start. He takes Eddie to suplex city before suplex city was a thing. Eddie gets enough to make it look like he's stumbling Brock, only for Brock to shut him right back down. He catches Eddie out of a hurricanrana and basically drops him before spinning around still holding Eddie and throwing him off. Managing to turn into what was an obvious botch into something better. Brock throws Eddie across the ring a few times, and Eddie finally decides he has to roll outside. Eddie hangs Brock up on the top rope and drags him to the ring post and slams his legs into it. But Brock pulls Eddie into the post using his leg strength. And just like before, Lesnar starts to dominate Eddie, move at his pace. Eddie has a new strategy though, which is attack the legs. Brock goes a leaping knee in the corner and Eddie dodges. As Brock lands on the floor, he clutches his knee and Eddie flies over the rope onto Lesnar outside. Both men roll back in and Eddie starts building up a comeback. But Brock picks up and drops Eddie on the top rope. Lesnar stands over Eddie, and Eddie grabs and twists Brock's knee, bringing the big man down and locks in the STF. Lesnar escapes by prying Eddie's hands apart because he's just such a big mofo. Eddie tries to keep Brock off his feet, but every attempt to lock in another submission, he gets shoved off. Brock throws Eddie back with a belly to belly but Eddie manages to knock Brock on his back with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors and then he locks in the Figure 4. Brock drags his own body and Eddie's towards the ropes and grabs the bottom rope. This portion of the match is pretty slow. Brock thwarts Eddie’s next attempt at a comeback and just grounds his body into the mat. Some blood trickles from Brock's nose and he yells at Eddie, getting more irritated that this match isn't over yet. Eddie throws a headbutt on Brock to escape the bear hug he's in. Eddie goes after the knee again and hits 3 Amigos on Lesnar. Eddie goes for a Frog Splash but Brock dodges it. Brock picks Eddie up and the referee stupidly gets too close and is taken out as Brock hits an F5. Brock covers Eddie, but we have no referee. So Brock leaves the ring and grabs the WWE Title and slides back in the ring, just to turn around and get Speared by Goldberg! Eddie gets up, looks at the title gets a cheshire cat grin and goes to swing, but Brock kicks Eddie and picks Eddie up for another F5. Eddie counters it into a DDT! And he goes up one more time to hit a Frog Splash! Referee crawls over. One. Two. Three!!! “Eddie Guerrero is champion!” Michael Cole exclaims on commentary. The celebration begins! The image of the big red letters spelling “Eddie” in the audience is forever burned into my brain. This is my favorite wrestling moment ever. Because nobody deserved this moment more than Latino Heat!

My Rating: *****

Cagematch Rating: 6.66 (Gasp)

My Rating: 7.5/10

This is a complicated show to rate. Because it is unfortunately a SmackDown PPV in 2004. Which means a lot of this card suuuuuucks. The first 4 matches were all in the first hour. But they made a pretty great comeback with the final 3 matches. Rey and Chavo a pretty good matchup, followed by a decent Triple Threat and then an absolute classic of a main event followed by the best moment in wrestling history (at least to me).

Great Balls of Fire (2017)

Match 1: Bray Wyatt def. Seth Rollins (12:10)

A painfully average match to begin the show. Because I know they can do better than this. I guess it doesn't help though that Bray was in the middle of a feud with Finn Balor when he started randomly feuding with Seth. This just feels like a TV level match on PPV that somehow features main event level talent. Bray takes control of the match early by flinging Seth off the apron into the steps and he just wears Seth down in the ring. Seth starts to hit his babyface comeback. The match is more even but the pace doesn't really pick up a whole lot. Bray taunts Seth and tells him to fight. Seth stands up and starts fists at Bray. Bray pokes Seth in the eye as the referee gets between and that opens up the door for Wyatt to hit Sister Abigail and get the win.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 2: Big Cass def. Enzo Amore (5:25)

Even as somebody who didn't even like this tag team, I thought breaking them up was a stupid idea. They were so over a team so why split them up? Especially when neither of them were ready to be singles guys. But anyway, with the rating this match has on Cagematch, you'd think it was booked stupidly or botchy and one of the worst matches on the planet. No, its fine for what its supposed to be, which is a squash match. I don't know if people were expecting a 5 star match or something. But like I said, its a squash match so its not Taker/Michaels classic, I thought it was hilarious that Cass pressed Enzo over his head and just tossed his ass to the floor. Enzo crawls back into the ring and Cass shakes his head before kicking Enzo back to the mat and pins him to take the win.

My Rating: **

Match 3: Raw Tag Team Championship 30-Minute Ironman Match - The Bar (c) def. The Hardy Boyz (30:00)

The final match in the trilogy. Its an odd trilogy because I think every match is pretty on par with each other but this match has such a great finish. Cesaro and Sheamus score the first fall immediately because Cesaro comes in, distracts Matt so Sheamus can hit a Brogue Kick and pick up their first fall in under a minute. From there, The Bar pretty much dominates the match for almost another 10 minutes and score a 2nd win after a Celtic Cross to Jeff. With 20 minutes on the clock, the Hardys have to win at least 3 times to beat the Bar now. In that sense, I do like this match, how it makes a Hardys comeback seem impossible. But Jeff eventually makes the tag to Matt, who comes in and just rams Cesaro's head into the turnbuckles repeatedly. After taking Sheamus off the apron, the Hardys work together and double team Cesaro, that ends in Jeff hitting a Twist of Fate and pinning the Swiss man to give them their first fall. Within the next few minutes, The Hardys start to get on a roll but as Matt rolls Sheamus back in the ring, Cesaro grabs him and throws him face first into the ring post and Matt gets counted out, giving The Bar a 3-1 lead. And with 13 more minutes, the Hardys’ chances of winning drastic gone down. These last 10 minutes is when the match starts to get really good. Cesaro knocks Jeff off the apron and locks Matt in the Sharpshooter, Jeff makes the save. Cesaro goes to uppercut Matt in the corner, but Matt turns around and hooks Cesaro's arms. Jeff tags himself in and Matt backslides Cesaro before Jeff jumps and holds Cesaro's legs down with his own, Cesaro is pinned, giving The Hardys their 2nd fall. There's a couple near falls for the Hardys. After taking Cesaro out, The Hardys double team Sheamus and Matt nearly gets the pin with a moonsault but Cesaro stops the pin at the last possible moment. After Cesaro is thrown out again, Matt and Sheamus move to the top rope where Matt hits a Twist of Fate to even the score. Matt tags Jeff in and he goes for a Swanton, but Cesaro pulls Sheamus out of the way and to the outside, but Jeff dives on them both before throwing Sheamus back inside. Matt and Jeff hit a splash, legdrop combo, Cesaro makes the save and in the scuffle, Cesaro gets tagged in, I don't even remember seeing when, but Matt drops Sheamus followed by a Swanton from Jeff, who doesn't realize Sheamus is the legal man and after the Swanton, Cesaro slides in and pins Jeff to get that much needed 4th fall with 30 seconds left. So then Cesaro slides out of the ring and Jeff chases after him. They slide back in the ring and Jeff hits a Twist of Fate, but Jeff only covers him with 2 seconds left and the clock runs out on the Hardys chance. The Bar retains!

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 4: Raw Women's Championship Match - Sasha Banks def. Alexa Bliss (c) via countout (11:40)

A decent match. I think it was just starting to get good when it ended with a wet fart. Early in the match, Alexa decides she doesn't wanna wrestle and tries to run, so Sasha goes out and drags her back to the ring by her hair. But as Sasha gets back on the apron, Alexa sweeps her legs out, and Sasha's back slams into the apron. Bliss starts to damage Sasha's back. Sasha eventually gets some momentum building and they go back and forth. Alexa hits one of the smoothest yoshi-tonics I've ever seen. Alexa goes for Twisted Bliss, but Sasha gets her knees up and takes advantage of Bliss by locking in the Bank Statement. Bliss is able to escape by grabbing the bottom rope. The match isn't so bad but when it starts to get better, Alexa gets herself counted out. Boooooo. Sasha doesn't let that slide, she runs after Alexa and the fight continues and ends with Sasha hitting a meteora off the stage.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 5: Intercontinental Championship Match - The Miz (c) def. Dean Ambrose (11:20)

A pretty good midcard match. I think their match Extreme Rules match was really good as well. Miz had the Miztourage, Axel and Bo out there with him as well as his lovely, lovely wife Maryse. Ambrose goes outside and starts beating up Axel, first thing he does before he rolls back in and attacks Miz. Ambrose gives Bo similar treatment. But the distractions eventually allow Miz to take control and he grinds Ambrose into the mat. Dean eventually starts his babyface comeback. And the pace starts to pick and we start to have a match. Dean hits a double underhook suplex off the top rope, but Miz goes after Dean's knee and after weakening it, he puts Ambrose in the Figure Four. After Ambrose reaches the ropes, Ambrose starts to fight a 4 on 1 battle because Axel and Dallas are constantly trying to attack, distract, whatever they can do. Ambrose is able to avoid getting hit with a Skull Crushing Finale a few times. Ambrose is pulled out of the ring by Axel and Bo as Maryse has the referee distracted. But Ambrose fights them off as well as Miz. Ambrose dives on all 3 men from the top rope and tosses Miz back inside. Ambrose comes off the turnbuckle again, but Miz sidesteps and tries for the SKF again, but Dean switches out and reverses it into a Dirty Deeds. But Miz is too close to the ropes, so Maryse puts his foot on the bottom rope to save it. Maryse once again gets on the apron, distracting the referee, Axel provides a distraction for Ambrose so Bo can hit him in the head and Miz can hit SKF to win. Lots of interfering but cheating is a Miz trademark so I guess its consistent.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 6: Ambulance Match - Braun Strowman def. Roman Reigns (16:35)

Match of the night goes to the two big men slabbin’ meat! I loved this match despite its abrupt ending. This was nothing but a beat down drag out fight and it was awesome. The early part of the match in the ring is mostly Strowman's match. He dog walks Roman early and Reigns is just trying to survive. He actually manages to get Strowman off his feet a couple times, but then Braun just gets back up and beats up Roman again. Strowman hits the Powerslam early. But Roman finds an opening when Strowman ran into the ring post (as he typically did). And Roman goes after Braun’s elbow that he'd gotten surgery on. Roman takes a chair to that elbow and goes to town. Strowman gets back on his feet and Roman swings again, and Strowman blocks it with his good arm. Roman swings again and again and Strowman tanks every shot. Strowman flings Roman up the ramp toward the ambulance, and the rest of the match happens on stage. Braun flings Roman into the side of the ambulance. Roman stays in the fight though and nearly knocks Strowman back into the ambulance with Superman Punches. Strowman throws Roman back on stage and Strowman runs straight into the stage set up after Roman dodges him. Strowman catches Roman and prepares to hit a running Powerslam, but Reigns slides behind him and pushes him THROUGH the set this time. Roman tries to drag Braun’s body to the ambulance, but Braun just flings Roman off the stage. Braun goes after him but Roman swings a light at Braun’s head. Roman goes for the Spear, but Braun sidesteps, Roman dives head first in the ambulance, Braun closes the doors and just like that its over. Strowman wins the match, but as Strowman said to Roman many times before, Roman wasn't finished with him…

My Rating: ****

Roman opens those doors and Spears the hell out of Strowman. He picks Braun up and slams the back door into his head over and over again. He loads Strowman up into the ambulance, he tosses the driver out and takes the wheel, driving to the backstage area. Roman looks in the sideview mirror and then backs the ambulance into a semi-trailer with Braun in the back and I shit you not, there was not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 camera cuts for that one thing. Four camera cuts for Roman backing up a vehicle. Cue Eric Bischoff, “Kevin Dunn, what the hell was that?” Anyway, the back of the ambulance is totally destroyed and a bunch of people rush over to save Braun. Cole, Graves and Booker all do their “serious voices”. And maybe I could take this seriously if it wasn't for the fact there was a very simple solution to getting Braun out… pulling the vehicle forward. because its not like the doors were jammed in, they were busted off. All they needed to do was drive the ambulance forward, but everyone at the scene forgot how to drive I guess, including the guys in the fire truck who showed up a bit later.

Match 7: Heath Slater def. Curt Hawkins (2:10)

Oh yeah, this happens too I guess. I thought about finding a picture of this match but just like WWE did when this match ended, I'm just not gonna show ya anything. This is because I guess they were taking forever to get Braun out of the ambulance. There's not really anything to say about it. The finish happens off screen because they're showing us whats going on backstage with Braun. But they got some air time, so… Good for them I guess?

Anyway, back to whats important. They finally get Braun out of the ambulance using the fucking Jaws of Life of all things. Braun basically crawls out and refuses anyone's help. He stumbles away and thats the end of that. And truthfully, this is where Roman should've turned heel and Strowman turned face. That's what I thought was happening, a double turn. But Roman went back to being boring big dog good guy the next night, as if we were supposed to cheer this? “He committed attempted murder, why aren't you cheering?” Asked the old bastard owner confused.

Main Event: Universal Championship Match - Brock Lesnar (c) def. Samoa Joe (6:25)

So after all that goes down, its time for the much anticipated main event. 18 year old me was so freaking hyped up for this. And so was everyone else. And they built it up pretty well. So you had a dream match with all the hype in the world behind it and it was… Meh. Not bad, but it just left me with such a feeling of “wait, thats it?” Which wound up becoming a theme for Brock's matches around this point. It started off promising with Joe jumping Brock during the announcements. Joe takes him to the announce tables and drops Brock through one of them. Joe gets back in the ring and just waits. Lesnar eventually crawls back in the ring and with a nod and a smile, the bell rings and the match officially begins. Unfortunately, this match is pretty much one or two things the whole time. Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch (like 3 times), Brock tosses Joe with german suplexes. Joe nearly makes Brock pass out on attempt 3 of the Coquina, but Brock reverses it into an F5 and, yep, that's it. Pack up, we can go home. Just another installment into Brock's lazy era. I was very disappointed.

My Rating: ***

Cagematch Rating: 6.66

My Rating: 6.5/10

Both a fun and frustrating show at the same time. Because this card does not look bad. I think with a card like this, it had potential to be WWE's best PPV of the year. But it just falls short. I can't say I had much fun watching it. Apart from the aftermath of the Ambulance Match but thats only because it was bad in a funny way. Decent enough.

WrestleMania III

Funny enough, WWE recently released the full event on YouTube, and that happened to coincide at the time I had to watch it.

Match 1: The Can-Am Connection def. Bob Orton & Don Muraco (5:37)

So an okay opener. It had a nice quick pace to get the crowd excited. Martel and Tom Zenk were more high flying at this point and Muraco and Orton were clearly not ready for that because they didn't get much offense in. It was pretty much all Can-Am's match the whole time. Which is surprising considering Muraco and Orton were billed as tough veterans. It has a pretty good finish as Muraco was crossbodied by Zenk as Muraco is tripped up by Martel behind him. Can-Am Connection get the upset win in the opener.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 2: Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes ended in a double countout (7:44)

Here we have two slow muscley men seeing who has the better Full Nelson. So obviously, the only way the match should end is by double countout. And because Hercules wants to show he has the better Full Nelson, he goes after Billy's back. Obviously. Full Nelson hurts the back right? Hercules winds up applying the hold, kinda. Doesn't really have the hands locked. Billy escapes by brute strength. Maybe if Herc locked the hands, he could've won. Billy starts to make a comeback and he locks in the Full Nelson, only for Herc to run forward towards the ropes. Both men go through the ropes to the outside where Haynes locks in the hold again long enough where they both get counted out. Not that I cared about who won, but like, why though? Then after the match, Haynes tries to corner Bobby Heenan. But Hercules goes after Billy with a chain and busts him open.

My Rating: **

Match 3: Hillbilly Jim, Haiti Kid & Little Beaver def. King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo & Lord Littlebrook via DQ (4:24)

Just a nothing match that unfortunately led to one of the little guys retiring. The match sucks too which is even worse. The rules are simple, only Jim and Bundy can fight each other while the small guys could only wrestle each other. Come to think of it, I don't think Haiti Kid got tagged in once. Not much to say about this aside from Bundy almost killing Little Beaver. Bundy has Jim backed into a corner and Beaver runs in to try and help, but then Bundy says “fuck this midget.” And body slams him before dropping an elbow on him. And that move ends up ending Beaver's career. Bundy’s team is disqualified and even his own teammates come to the aid of Beaver.

My Rating: DUD

Match 4: Loser Must Bow Match - Harley Race def. Junkyard Dog (4:22)

Rules are pretty simple, the loser must bow down to the winner. But this match is not much better than the last. JYD pretty much dominates the whole match. And they bump around like mannequins, it looks awful. JYD just beats Harley's ass for 4 minutes til Bobby Heenan distracts him, which allows Harley to hit a belly to belly and win. And thats it. So JYD reluctantly abides by the match stipulation and bows to Harley, but then whoops his ass with a chair right after. Match sucks.

My Rating: *

Match 5: The Dream Team def. The Rougeau Brothers (4:03)

This wasn't a bad match though. Its just short is all. Its pretty much a 10 minute tag match cut down to 4 minutes which I don't mind. Valentine and Beefcake double team and keep Jacques away from his brudda. Valentine gets Jacques in the Figure 4 but Jacques reaches the ropes to get out. He tags in Raymond, who turns the match around for them. He winds up getting Valentine in a sleeper hold, but Beefcake comes off the top rope to try and save him, but Raymond lets go and sidesteps so Brutus hits Valentine instead. The Rougeaus hit a move where Raymond holds Valentine up so Jacques can hit a seated senton. Raymond covers Valentine as Jacques intercepts Brutus. The referee is more interested in breaking that up though, as opposed to counting the pinfall, which gives Dino Bravo a chance to drop an elbow on Raymond from the top rope. Greg covers Ray and the Dream Team win. But Greg and Dino are both like, “fuck you Brutus, you bitch.” And leave without him.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 6: Hair vs. Hair Match - Roddy Piper def. Adrian Adonis (6:54)

What was going to be Piper’s retirement match. Can you imagine if he had lost his hair in his farewell match (at the time). That would've been terrible. Anyway, right away Piper risks by DQ'd by whipping Adonis with his belt. Then Jimmy Hart gets on the apron to distract him, but it allows Adonis to club him from behind and now he grabs the belt and starts whipping Piper with it. But Piper fights back and Adonis tries to leave only for Piper and Jimmy both to grab Adonis by the arms. Piper winds up dragging Hart in because he's holding on to Adonis. Piper throws Hart to the ropes into Adonis and both men fly over to the floor. Piper still has the upper hand until Jimmy trips Piper from the floor. So Adonis now has the advantage and takes it to Piper who keeps telling Adonis to bring it on. But Jimmy sprays Piper’s face with… Something, perfume I'm guessing and Adonis locks in the Sleeper Hold. Here he basically has the match won because he puts Piper out, but he lets go before the referee calls it. W-why? It doesn't make sense. Adonis and Hart are prematurely celebrating, and you never wanna go off prematurely. Beefcake who is a babyface now I guess, runs down to wake Piper up. Piper stands back up, punches Jimmy out of the ring and ducks under a swing from Adonis with the hedge clippers he brought down and Piper locks Adonis in the Sleeper Hold. The referee is very quick to say Adrian's out. He's really gotta pee or take a shit or something because Adrian was clearly still awake when the ref called it. Anyway, none of that shit matters because Adonis is getting a haircut and Beefcake is the one who gives it to him. And I guess Brutus loved giving that haircut so much that it became his thing. So Piper picks up a mirror that was just around I suppose and shows Adonis what he looks like. Adonis hated it so bad, he punches the mirror and unsuccessfully chases Piper around the ring before cutting his losses and leaving. Piper basks in the cheers of 90 thousand plus after winning his “retirement” match.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 7: The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis def. The British Bulldogs & Tito Santana (8:52)

Second best match of the night in terms of in ring quality. Which is no surprise considering the talent and also Danny Davis. Matilda, The Bulldogs’ bulldog, chases Jimmy Hart out of the ring which is absolutely hilarious. WrestleMania 3, also known as the worst day of Jimmy Hart's life. This man’s getting beat up every time he's out there. I don't know if this is true, but I think its Davis’ first match (televised at least) because they keep saying they want him to get in there. Bret and Neidhart do most of the wrestling on their team, so its pretty much 3-on-2 for a lot of it, Davis stands on the apron most of the match and it gives The Bulldogs and Santana an edge, they make quick tags in and out. The Foundation tries to double team Santana. But Santana tags out to Davey Boy who comes in and just muscles Neidhart around the ring. Davey tags in Dynamite, but Dynamite winds up getting the isolation treatment and kept away from his teammates. Bret and Jim tag in Danny a few times, just for Davis to come in, give Dynamite a couple kicks and tag back out. They tag Davis back in once more and slingshot him inside using the ropes, but Dynamite gets his knees up as Davis is about to land on him. Dynamite makes the hot tag to Santana, who runs inside like a house of fire to beat on Davis. Tito hits his flying forearm but decides to keep up the beating and lock in the Figure 4. But Neidhart doesn't allow him too. Santana tags Davey Boy inside and Smith opts to just beat up Danny some more before hitting a running Powerslam. He covers Davis, but Neidhart saves the match. Santana comes in and knocks Neidhart out with a forearm, but Bret comes in and knocks Santana out. Dynamite backs Bret into a corner as the referee is trying to separate them, Jimmy Hart hands Davis his megaphone and he uses it to knock Davey out before pinning him.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 8: Butch Reed def. Koko B. Ware (3:39)

A battle of speed vs strength. Koko's speed is good enough to throw Reed off his game for a little bit, but also Koko throws some fist in Reed's face so that also doesn't hurt. But it is a 3 ½ minute match so its not like you can get much from it. Reed overpowers Koko though, yada yada yada, you don't care. Koko tries for a crossbody but Reed rolls back with it and gets Koko on his shoulders, holds him down to take the win.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 9: Intercontinental Championship Match - Ricky Steamboat def. Randy Savage (c) (14:35)

Now move over because its time to talk about a classic. The first great WrestleMania match! They built up to the end of this match perfectly. And its over quick. They managed to tell their story in less than 15 minutes! Making this one of the most rewatchable matches ever as well. Steamboat is the first one to get some offense in as he hits a few arm drags and picks Savage up by the throat before tossing him to the mat. Savage tries to take control of the match but ends up ramming his own shoulder into the turnbuckles, so Steamboat goes after that. One pointed elbow lets Savage get back in the game before he grabs Ricky and tosses him over the ropes to the floor. Ricky gets back up and Savage reaches over to drag him up and gives him a pointed elbow to the throat. Savage drags Ricky back in but Ricky fights back and rams Savage's head into the turnbuckle and knocks him back into the ropes, Savage's arms get caught between the top and middle ropes and Ricky takes the chance to rain punches on him. Savage kicks Ricky and is freed by the ref. This next sequence is done so quick and so smoothly. Ricky reverses a whip to the ropes, Savage comes back and grabs Ricky to whip him around and Ricky comes back to hit a crossbody. Gets a 2 count. Ricky hits an arm drag, Savage stands back up and whips Ricky to the ropes again, Ricky comes back with a shoulder block. Ricky hits the ropes again, another shoulder block. Ricky hits the ropes again, Savage steps aside, throws Ricky into the ropes both men bounce off the ropes Ricky moves backward into a knee to the back of the neck from Savage. Simple stuff, but its done so quickly and smoothly. Savage goes to throw Ricky outside, but Ricky skins the cat and comes back in, Savage comes back and clotheslines Ricky to the floor now. Savage goes outside and knees Ricky in the back again, pushing over the barricade. George Steele goes over to help Ricky back up, picking him up and carrying him back to the ring. But as he gets Ricky back in, Savage just grabs him again and throws him back out, then goes up to drop an axe handle from the top rope. Randy tosses Ricky back inside and does the same thing. And then grabs Ricky by the hair and runs with him to the ropes before leaving over them to the floor, dropping Ricky's throat over the top rope. Every move Randy makes he covers Ricky after, just desperate to end this match. Ricky starts to fight back and leans back on the ropes. Randy runs at him and Steamboat back body drops Savage over the ropes to the floor! Ricky goes out and tosses Savage back inside and goes to the top rope. The referee yells at him to get down, Savage gets behind the ref probably thinking he's safe. But Ricky instead leaps over the ref to deliver a chop to Savage! Ricky covers him but Savage gets his foot on the rope. Savage rolls outside and Ricky goes after, chasing him back to the ring. Ricky rams his shoulder into Savage's gut and sunset flips over him and brings him down into a pin. They are making this referee work tonight, even he’s sweating. Ricky starts doing quick pins, trying to end it. Rolls him up, jackknife pin, small package and Savage kicks out every time. Ricky catapults Savage into the turnbuckle and his head hits the post. Ricky tries to pin him again and Savage kicks out. And immediately on his feet, Savage takes a swing at the referee who ducks it. That flew under the radar for Gorilla and Jesse but it looked like Savage knew his title reign was in danger and tried to get DQ'd. Savage finally manages to catch a break by pulling Ricky by his tights into the ring post shoulder first. Randy goes to whip Ricky, who reverses it, but Randy reverses the reversal but winds up throwing Ricky into the referee. Ricky and the ref go down, but Randy goes up to drop the big elbow on Steamboat. Savage covers him and his the match won, but there's no referee to count the pin. So Savage goes out to grab the ring bell, basically prying it out of the time keeper’s hands. He climbs the ropes, only for Steele to grab it out of his hands, so Randy kicks him in the head and takes the bell back. But Steele shoves Randy off now. The referee and Ricky both begin to wake up. Savage picks Steamboat up and goes for a body slam, but its reversed into a small package. 1, 2, 3. The Dragon has defeated the Macho Man in WrestleManias first classic! Some people might think this match hasn't aged well. I disagree, this is a match that still holds up to this day. Not a waste in motion and everything is done so beautifully. A true masterpiece!

My Rating: *****

Match 10: Honky Tonk Man def. Jake Roberts (7:04)

God having to watch the rest of this show after that last match was a little exhausting, but gotta push through. This match in itself isn't bad despite the fact Honky Tonk Man is in it. Jake jumps Honky as he's getting in the ring, doesn't even wait for him to get his Elvis ripoff suit off but rips it off for him. The first few minutes, Roberts beats on Honky and goes for a DDT, only for Honky to escape and roll outside. Roberts goes right after him and goes to whip Honky, but Honky reverses it and Roberts runs into the ring post before stumbling into the barricade. As he tries to get back in, Honky knees him in the face and Roberts falls back into the barrier. Honky beats on him some more before going for the Shake, Rattle n Roll, but Roberts reverses it and starts to comeback to the point where Honky begs him off. Roberts goes for a DDT, but Jimmy Hart grabs his foot. Roberts turns to get him off but Honky rolls him up from behind to win. Roberts grabs Honky’s guitar and swings at him in rage. Honky ducks and runs away as the guitar shatters against the ring post. So him and Alice Cooper decide to have some fun with Jimmy Hart instead. And for all the talk about whether it was Hercules or Billy Jack that had the better full nelson, uh, apparently its Jake Roberts because he holds Jimmy in one, as he flails about and Cooper drags Jake’s big snake Damien out. Honky Tonk Man eventually runs back down to save his guy. I think thats the last time Jimmy has to get beat up tonight.

My Rating: ***

Match 11: Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff def. The Killer Bees via DQ (5:44)

Before this match even begins, Nikolai tries to sing the Russian national anthem as he typically did, but Hacksaw Jim Duggan runs down to the ring with his 2x4 to shut that down. Then the Killer Bees come out. And I guess Duggan is just gonna stay there. Sheik and Volkoff attack the Bees before the bell even rings. But the Bees quickly get the upper hand using speed. But Volkoff comes in to put the boots to Brunzell and now they have control of the pace. Brunzell eventually reaches Blair for the tag, but Volkoff distracted the referee so he didn't see it. Duggan then takes matters into his own hands and chases Volkoff around the ring just as Sheik puts Brunzell in the Camel Clutch. Since he couldn't catch Volkoff, Hacksaw hits Sheik with the 2x4 instead and the Bees get disqualified.

My Rating: *1/2

Main Event: WWF Championship Match - Hulk Hogan (c) def. Andre the Giant (12:01)

“The irresistible force meeting the immovable object.” A quote from Gorilla Monsoon that you still hear to this day. As much flack as I give Hogan, I can't deny the impact he's had on wrestling. This is still one of the biggest WrestleMania main events of all time. I love how, as Andre is going to the ring, people are already throwing trash. The bell rings and we get the staredown, the anticipation from the crowd is off the charts. Andre takes a swing at Hulk, he blocks it. Hulk throws some punches and immediately tries to slam Andre, but falls back with Andre on top of him and Andre nearly wins it there. Hogan sells his back and Andre immediately goes after it. Body slams, clubbing blows, irish whips to the corner. Andre puts Hogan in the most boring submission ever, the Bearhug. Andre just kinda takes his time, and each time Hogan goes down Andre says “Up.” Andre accidentally head butts the turnbuckle though and knocks himself loopy. But one big shuts Hogan's comeback down. They wind up going outside where Andre winds up headbutting the ring post after Hogan dodges. Hogan tears up the padding outside to reveal a wooden surface. Hogan brings Andre over as if he's gonna piledrive him, which… theres no fucking way, Andre back drops Hogan on the floor and it doesn't look very good. Andre brings Hogan back in the ring. Andre whips him to the ropes, misses the big boot (by a lot) and Hogan bounces back off the ropes for a big clothesline that knocks Andre off his feet. Hogan makes it back up first and scoops Andre up for a body slam, which was a big deal at the time. Hogan runs the ropes and drops a leg on Andre before pinning him to win. Hogan retains in a massive main event.

My Rating: ***

Cagematch Rating: 6.66

My Rating: 7/10

I thought about giving this event a lower rating, but upon further thought, I realized that this really is the WrestleMania that defined the magnitude of WrestleMania as a whole. One of the greatest matches ever coupled with one of the biggest main events in WrestleMania history helped set the bar for future Manias to live up to. So to give it something low just doesn't seem right. But with that being said, out of 12 matches, there's a reason that people only ever talk about 2 of them.

Royal Rumble 2023

Match 1: Royal Rumble Match - Cody Rhodes won by last eliminating Gunther (1:11:42)

For the first time ever, the Royal Rumble PPV starts with a Royal Rumble Match. And its a good way to start the PPV. I don't think its a fantastic Rumble. But it has its moments of greatness. It got off to a great start for sure by starting with Gunther and Sheamus, who start clobbering each other right away. Johnny Gargano comes in at 5 and gets a pretty good showing in this match. The interesting parts are sprinkled throughout and are usually over quickly. Brock comes in at number 12, and he throws Sheamus and McIntyre around before facing off with Gunther, which is the closest we'll ever come to seeing that match. Brock gets the better of Gunther before Lashley makes his way out at number 13, Spears Lesnar and clotheslines him over the ropes. Causing Brock to throw the biggest temper tantrum I've ever seen from him. Corbin comes out at 14, just for Brock bulldoze him and drop him with an F5. Seth Rollins is number 15 and throws Corbin inside the ring, who is then eliminated by Seth a moment later. Rey Mysterio is supposed to be 17, but he never shows up. His kid, Dominik comes out next, wearing Rey's mask. And Michael Cole just about has a meltdown. I'm telling ya, Dom is the Triple H to Cole's Jim Ross. Finn Balor is number 20 and together with Dom, they finally take out Johnny Gargano. Booker T makes a surprise entrance at 21 and thank goodness he wasn't in there long because he was looking a little rough in there. Gunther eliminates Booker and then Damian Priest enters at 22. So with Dom, Finn and Damian all in the ring, Judgment Day starts to dominate the ring and then Hulk Copeland comes out and just brothers all over the JD. He eliminates Finn and Priest and as he tries to eliminate Dom, Finn and Priest pull him over and out of the ring. Austin Theory comes out next just as Edge is chasing Finn up the entrance way. Omos is 26, followed by 27, Braun Strowman. Braun eliminates the bigger man before Ricochet, Braun's partner (remember that?), makes his way out to the ring. Logan Paul, that douche is number 29, still trying to pretend he's a good guy. And this was awesome, Seth, Ricochet, Theory and even Dirty Dom all start stomping Paul into the mat. I am all for a Logan Paul mudstomping. At around this point is when Gunther gets rid of Sheamus and Drew McIntyre (who surprisingly worked together the whole match) at the same time. Gunther gids rid of 2 heavy hitters at once. Number 30 is of course Cody Rhodes, which we all knew because they announced his return in advance for some reason. So Cody makes his comeback and finally liberates us by getting rid of Dominik. The match from this point on is great. Everything that happens after Cody gets in is great. How about the fucking insanity of Logan and Ricochet springboarding in at the same time and hitting each other mid-flight! Legitimately the craziest this we've probably seen in a Rumble Match. Braun Strowman is dumped over by Cody Rhodes while Ricochet is taken out by Theory. Logan Paul has rolled outside but nobody seems to have noticed that because Michael Cole says we're down to 4. Theory is eliminated by Cody Rhodes, leaving Cody and Seth in the ring with Gunther. Seth hits a Pedigree on Gunther before Cody does the same. Then Cody and Seth start fighting and just as Seth is about to Pedigree Cody, Logan comes back in and tosses Rollins out. Down to 3. Logan takes a swing at Cody, who ducks and drops Logan with a Cross Rhodes and tosses that bitch ass out. Leaving us with the last man in Cody Rhodes against the first man in, Gunther. And both men are heading into Mania this year with the World Titles. Funny how life works out. Gunther shows no signs of slowing down or fatigue despite being in the match for over an hour. He starts to really test the limits of Cody's pec that he injured months ago. Within minutes, Cody's chest starts to look raw from Gunther’s chops. Gunther whoops Cody's ass. Superplex, powerbomb, whatever he can hit. But Cody fires back and with a Cross Rhodes and shove over, Gunther is eliminated and Cody is the winner. Pretty good final 2. The only stopping me from placing it higher in Rumble final 2s is that the result was never in doubt. We all knew Cody was winning. But thats my biggest criticism. Great Rumble but I wouldn't say its a favorite of mine.

My Rating: ****

Match 2: Pitch Black Match - Bray Wyatt def. LA Knight (5:06)

…This makes me sad. This was Bray Wyatt's last ever match. And his only match since his comeback in October of ‘22. And it sucks. Flat out, this match sucks. It doesn't sit right with me that Bray’s last match was terrible. And not only that, it was a promotion. Bray's last match was a product placement for a Mountain Dew flavor that is probably terrible. Anyway, after entrances are made, the lights go out and Bray has this glow in the dark face paint on and I thought it looked cool, I don't know about you guys. But Bray basically beats on LA for about most of the match. I can't imagine this was a good match to watch live either. Like, the lights are off, the audience probably can't see shit. The only thing noteworthy thing they did was LA Knight clotheslined Bray off the stairs through the announcer's table and glowing confetti flies everywhere for some reason. Bray throws a toolbox into the ring and doesn't use it. LA goes for the BFT but Bray counters and hits Sister Abigail for the win. And then Bray sits in a corner and puts a mask on before chases a scared Knight through the crowd up to an equipment area. Bray puts the Mandible Claw on Knight before Uncle Howdy appears from above on a railing and drops an elbow onto Knight.

My Rating: *

Match 3: Raw Women's Championship Match - Bianca Belair (c) def. Alexa Bliss (7:33)

At this point in time, WWE were teasing a reunion between Alexa and Bray. But neither Bray nor Howdy have any involvement in this match. Maybe it would've been better if it had because this match was also pretty bad. Not that I like giving excuses, but I think Alexa had gotten a cancer diagnosis shortly afterward, which means she probably had it during this match. The match is really boring all the way through. Alexa works her style of grounding her opponent into the mat, except she had none of the snarky attitude that she had at her peak. The transitions at the end is at least good even if there was hesitation. Bianca goes to whip Bliss with her hair, but Bliss avoids it, goes for Sister Abigail, but Bianca swings out of the attempt and hits a KOD to retain her title.

My Rating: *1/4

Match 4: Royal Rumble Match - Rhea Ripley won by last eliminating Liv Morgan (1:01:08)

I know I'm definitely in the minority on this, but I actually liked this Rumble more than the men's match. There was more that stood out in the men's match, but I was at least entertained most of the way through for this match. And it also gave some NXT gals a chance to shine. The match begins with Rhea and Liv. They go wire to wire here. After a few entrants, the next big star makes her way out at 6 and its Bayley, who immediately gets an Ob-Livion. Roxanne Perez, the NXT Women's Champ at the time enters at number 8. But is only in the match for 4 minutes. Dakota Kai and Iyo Sky are the next 2 entrants. And together with Bayley, they start to dominate the field for several entrants, eliminating Roxanne, Natalya, Shayna Baszler, Candice LeRae. Zoey Stark comes in 13, still on NXT at this point but she's able to hang around for over 25 minutes and she gets to show off her athleticism a lot. Becky Lynch is number 15 and she takes on Damage CTRL alone but it doesn't last and the numbers overwhelm her and they toss her over the announce table. Asuka is number 17 and she makes her way down to a big reaction. She's got new face paint and she looks badass. She gets in the ring and starts wrecking shop, she takes on everyone she can. Piper Niven is next, with her old name back (I still don't know what a doudrop is). She lasts nearly half an hour in the match. Chelsea Green also returns to the company at 20. She talks a big game on her way to the ring saying how she's gonna eliminate everyone. Just to get in and eliminated by Rhea Ripley in 5 seconds. And that is Chelsea's run since then in a nutshell. Becky Lynch finally gets back in the ring, throws Dakota and Iyo out, only to then be eliminated by Bayley right after. But Bayley was yelling at Becky, allowing Liv to run up behind her and throw her out. Not much to say with the next few entrants. Raquel Rodriguez runs out wearing Eddie Guerrero inspired gear, I love that. The match starts to slow down around this point. Right up until Nikki Cross comes out and full on sprints to the ring. And I mean she was SPRINTING! Like if you saw her at the dead of night sprinting at you the way she was, you'd shit yourself. Hilarious botch at the end. Because number 30's music hits before the countdown even starts and who else but… Nia Jax. How anticlimactic. Thankfully, she isn't there for very long, less than 2 minutes as everyone works together to get her up and over. Eliminations start happening quicker now until we are left with Rhea, Liv and Asuka. This is probably my favorite final 3 ever. This ending is money. All 3 women end up on the apron with Rhea standing between Liv and Asuka. Rhea ducks as Asuka goes to spew her face with mist and gets Liv instead. Rhea hits a 619 to kick Asuka to the floor, leaving her with Liv Morgan who can't see because of the burning mist in her eyes. Just as Rhea's victory seems assured, Liv hits a codebreaker out of nowhere and Rhea's feet slip off the apron, but her hands catch the top rope. Liv tries to punch Rhea's hands, but Rhea lifts her legs and head scissors Liv off the apron to win the 2023 Royal Rumble. What a great finish.

My Rating: ****

Main Event: Undisputed WWE Universal Championship Match - Roman Reigns (c) def. Kevin Owens (19:15)

I think we all realized it right away. That they had to have something big planned for this to go last over both Rumble matches. And man did they. But onto the match, which in itself is not bad. But considering we’ve seen these guys do better together many times, its a little underwhelming. Roman walks out with only Paul Heyman and Sami Zayn at his side. Roman is extremely cocky at the start and feels like he's looking passed KO. Roman tries to muscle KO while Kevin… Pretty simply punches Roman in the face. The match is pretty even for the most part, but I can't say a whole lot stands out until we start getting down to the wire. KO catches Roman out of a Superman Punch and hits a german suplex. But Roman comes back with a successful Superman Punch this time. Roman goes for a Spear but KO dodges and Roman's shoulder hits the ring post. KO hits a Senton from the top rope, gonna gloss over the messed up moonsault and go the moonsault he got through. But Roman moved out of the way and hits Owens with a Spear, which Kevin kicks out of. Roman goes for another, but Owens kicks him in the face and goes for a Stunner, just to be shoved off by Roman into the referee. Roman runs the ropes again and Owens catches him with a Pop-Up Powerbomb. Owens covers him, but there's no referee to count the pin. Roman low blows Kevin as he's being picked up. Then Reigns looks at Sami Zayn outside, telling him to grab a chair. But there's hesitation. Sami looks conflicted and Roman is getting more pissed the longer Sami makes him wait. Sami eventually grabs a chair and hands it to Roman, who turns back around to get a Stunner from Owens. Owens covers him but only gets 2, which makes Zayn and Heyman breathe a sign of relief. Roman reverses a Pop-Up Powerbomb into a Superman Punch and runs the ropes for another Spear that KO kicks out of again. KO rolls out of the ring and Sami tells him to just stay down. Roman starts to get vicious at this point and he gets a full head of steam to Spear Kevin through the barricade. Roman rolls Kevin back inside, only for Kevin to roll right back out to the other side. Roman goes over and right in front of Sami, Roman shoves Kevin back, the back of his head hitting the steps and does it again. Roman tosses Owens back in the ring and taunts Owens. Kevin gives Roman a slap to the face, and Roman runs the ropes to hit another Spear to finally beat KO. As we all expected. The Usos and Solo come out to celebrate with Roman. All of them seem happy except for Sami Zayn. But the night is not over yet.

My Rating: ***3/4

If I were to give a star rating to a segment, this would get a 5. Rewatching this made me remember how hype it was. I watched this again and again and again because it was so good! And genuinely got one of the loudest pops I've ever heard in wrestling. After the match, Roman sicks his boys on Kevin Owens. They brutalize him. Roman is watching with glee while Sami is getting more uncomfortable by the minute. They whip out two sets of handcuffs and cuff Kevin's wrists to the ropes and he is just gets kick after kick after kick after kick after kick by The Usos. It was so many superkicks to the face. Roman picks up the chair, tells Owens that Sami is HIS family now. Roman rears back and just as he's about to swing the chair, Zayn stops him and gets between them. Sami tells him that “he's done”, “you don't need to do this”, “this is beneath you.” So what does Roman do, he holds the chair out to Sami and says “I shouldn't do it. You should.” Now the chair is in Sami's hands. But what is he gonna do now? Sami hesitates and the longer he hesitates, the angrier Roman gets. He starts yelling at Sami now, and pie facing him. “Whats wrong with you?!” “Pull the trigger!” If any segment embodied the word “cinema,” its this one. Roman turns his back to Sami twice and they tease it. Roman turns around and gets even madder. He turns his back again and Sami pulls the trigger. He swings the chair into Roman's back and the crowd loses their minds! The moment when the chair made contact, that crowd cheered louder than I've ever heard a crowd cheer before! Sami turns to look at Jey, the man whose trust Sami had to earn, the man who despised and has since to come to love him and all Sami can say is “I'm sorry.” Jimmy and Solo jump on Sami and once Roman gets up, he's furious and starts beating up Sami too. They all look in the corner to see Jey, looking distraught, hurt, pretty much every negative emotion and they ask him what he's doing, and Jey just leaves, his head down and in his hands as he leaves. Roman turns around and yells at Sami, “you broke my family!” And Roman slams the chair over and over and over again on Zayn before ripping off the “honorary uce” shirt that Roman gifted him. Eventually they leave the ring, Sami is out cold in the middle of the ring. Kevin is still handcuffed to the ropes. Roman retains the title, but Sami Zayn, a man on the inside, puts the first crack in the Bloodline. 10/10 segment. Absolutely amazing way to end the show.

Cagematch Rating: 6.68

My Rating: 8.5/10

The only thing that holds this event back are the Pitch Black Match and the Women's Title Match. Both Rumble Matches were great. Main Event Title Match was also good but the real showstealer was what happened after the match. One of the best moments I've ever seen in wrestling, months of build up paying off beautifully.

Day 1 (2022)

Match 1: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match - The Usos (c) def. The New Day (17:03)

As we all know, the chemistry between these teams is amazing so this should've been no different. Neither team really has the advantage until The Usos take Kofi down on the outside. The Usos isolate Kofi from Woods for a while and knock Woods off the apron when Kofi gets close. But Kofi manages to hit a Tornado DDT on Jey and then reach Woods, who comes in and takes on both Usos. The pace picks up. Jey pushes Jimmy out of the way of a kick from Woods. So Jimmy can take advantage, throwing Woods inside and hitting a Whisper in the Wind. And now the Usos have Xavier where they want him. Jey taunts Woods and the two exchange blows with Woods getting the better. Woods tags in Kofi, who drops in with a crossbody to Jey. Kofi knocks Jimmy off the apron with a dropkick, hits a boom drop on Jey and goes for a Trouble in Paradise, but as he spins, Jey catches him with a superkick. Jey tags Jimmy in, and Jimmy hits a Splash that Kofi kicks out of. Jimmy runs at Kofi, who leaps over him but lands awkwardly on his legs, and Jimmy takes advantage and chop blocks him from behind before taking him down and locking in the Tequila Sunrise. But Kofi manages to reach the ropes. Jimmy tags in Jey and they plan to snap Kofi's leg from behind, but Woods pulls Jimmy out of the ring and takes him out as Kofi nearly pins Jey 3 times, the last one after hitting an SOS. Kofi tags in Xavier before dropping Jey's back over his knee followed by a diving stomp from Woods. Jey kicks out of the pin. New Day try to go for the Midnight Hour but Jimmy saves his brother and knock Woods out before they light Kofi up with Superkicks and hit a double splash from the top rope. It looks like thats it for New Day. 1, 2… Xavier breaks the pin up at the last second! I have the benefit of not watching this before so I really thought that was it. Both teams regroup and stand across from each other and start throwing hands. Woods throws Jimmy out of the ring before jumping out over the ropes and eats a superkick. Jimmy comes back in and Jey superkicks Kofi again before they hit a 3D. The first time they ever used it because Michael Cole is shocked. One and done. Great opener as you would expect.

My Rating: ****

Match 2: Drew McIntyre def. Madcap Moss (9:42)

It was a very strange choice to have Corbin and Moss' gimmick making you change the channel. Not good for ratings but who am I to question the genius of McMahon. (Jesus this was a dark time). Despite that, I don't think this match was bad. It doesn't hold up well on Cagematch but me personally I thought this was a fine hoss fight. Its just weird they expected me to take Moss seriously after the promo he and Corbin before the match. McIntyre dominates a lot of the match, he tosses Madcap around and hits a belly to belly on the floor about a minute in. But a distraction from Corbin gives Madcap an opening and he throws McIntyre shoulder first into the ring post. Moss is able to ground Drew for a bit, but rams his head into the middle turnbuckle after Drew dodges him. From here, its mostly Drew's match, and he just bullies Madcap here. Moss does manage to hold his own, catching Drew out of a crossbody and slamming him into the turnbuckle. They go up to the top rope and Drew gets hung on the tree of woe. Madcap gets cocky and Drew lifts his upper body to grab Moss and toss him off the top. Drew goes for a Claymore, but gets a kick to the face. Madcap runs the ropes and ducks a clothesline only for Drew to run the ropes and come back with a Claymore. Drew takes the win. But unfortunately for him, he's stuck in this terrible feud until WrestleMania.

My Rating: ***

Match 3: Raw Tag Team Championship Match - RK-Bro (c) def. The Street Profits (11:14)

RK-Bro makes their way out with Migos, who are announced as “the biggest group in the world.” Which first of all, at least work the shaft while you're down there. Second of all, I had never even heard of these guys until I watched this show. But man, did I hate them after watching this match. The amount of cuts that were done to show them watching, as if I'm supposed to care about how they're reacting. And I know thats not their fault but god damn, I don't need to see how they reacted to a freakin suplex. But anyway, on to the match, which for the most part is pretty okay. It looked like they were just having fun in the beginning. Montez feeling good about himself after chopping Randy's chest, just to get thumbed in the eye is hilarious to me. The Profits work like the heels in this match, keeping Riddle away from Orton for a while, this part of the match isn't so fun to watch, but Orton gets tagged in and the pace picks up, he takes on both Profits and hits them with a double draping DDT. Montez reverses an RKO and rolls up Orton, who kicks out but gets an enziguri. Riddle takes Dawkins out with a knee to the outside and goes to springboard off the ropes, but Ford shoves him off and Dawkins catches him. Ford throws Orton shoulder first in the post before he hits his signature dive over the post on RK-Bro. Ford tosses Orton back in and goes for a splash, but Orton dodges and Ford lands on his feet, but turns and runs into Riddle, who throws him in the air so Orton can hit an RKO to win the match.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 4: Edge def. The Miz (20:03)

I will never understand why they thought this was a good idea. Of all the people you could possibly have Edge feud with at this time in his career, why The Miz? This match is not bad. Its okay. But its pretty clear these two have no chemistry. And it goes 20 minutes. I can't tell you what they did with the first 10. Miz worked over Edge's leg. Thats about it. Half of this match is just boring. Edge hits an Edgecution from the apron, which was okay. The two end up at the announce table where Miz goes for an SKF, but Edge reverses it into a facebuster. Edge throws Miz back in and hits a crossbody. They each try rolling the other up, but Miz sends Edge into the post on a kick out. Miz chops Edge's knee and puts him in a Figure 4. But Edge rolls over and escapes. Edge brings Miz down into a crossface and Miz reaches for the rope with his foot with the help of Maryse. Miz goes up top and Edge follows him, throwing him off with a hip toss before setting Miz up for the Spear. But Miz leaps over Edge, who hit the buckle face first and Maryse clocks him with her purse before Miz drops him with a Skull Crushing Finale that Edge kicks out of. Maryse gets on the apron but Miz points behind her and Maryse turns to see a pissed off Beth Phoenix. Beth chases Maryse around the ring, Maryse retreats up the ramp and Miz starts talking shit to Beth now. He says he's gonna whoop her husband's ass and turns around into a Spear. Edge wins. Again, not terrible, just not something I wanted to watch for 20 minutes.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 5: Raw Women's Championship Match - Becky Lynch (c) def. Liv Morgan (16:57)

I was surprised by how much I liked this match. I don't think a lot of people talk about this but I thought this was a great match with a great story. I think both women played their parts very well. Liv Morgan was clearly the underdog and as the match goes on, it feels like maybe she can pull this off. Right away, Becky backs Liv into the ropes and slaps her in the face. So Liv immediately fires back with a springboard codebreaker. Becky rolls outside and Liv bounces her face off the announce table over and over again. Thats the first several minutes, Liv takes it to Becky, which probably catches her by surprise. Liv has an answer for almost everything Becky does. Liv locks in the Rings of Saturn and Becky reaches the ropes to escape. But Becky finally is able to get a foot in the door by catching Liv out of a head scissors and swings her into the turnbuckle. Becky now starts to wear down and ground Liv, typical heel stuff. Becky misses a springboard kick in the corner and Liv grabs Beck’s arms from behind, pulling her back into her feet, before shoving her into the turnbuckle. Liv starts to build up a comeback and the match starts to become more even. Becky meets Liv on the top rope, only for Liv to slip between her legs and she hits a springboard sunset flip powerbomb and stacks Becky up. But Becky kicks out. Liv goes to pick Becky up but Becky uses her legs to drag Liv down and put her in the Dis-Arm-Her. Liv reaches the ropes with her foot pretty quickly but Becky uses almost the full 5 count. Becky looks like she's starting to doubt if she can beat Liv. Becky misses a legdrop from the second rope and Liv goes up to hit a missile dropkick. Becky rolls out of the ring and Liv goes after her with a suicide dive. Liv throws her back inside and Becky rolls out to the other side of the ring. Becky grabs Liv and bounces her face off the announce table and tries to take a countout win. But Liv makes it back in and Becky just throws her right back out. Liv throws Becky into the steps and traps her arm between them and the post and proceeds to just stomp Becky's arm repeatedly. Becky rolls back in first and kicks Liv in the face before going up. Just for Liv to meet her up there and hit an armbreaker from there and locking in the Rings of Saturn. Becky escapes to roll Liv on her shoulders. Becky retreats to the ropes and Liv tries Ob-LIV-ion but Becky catches her and drops her with a Manhandle Slam. 1, 2, 3. Surprisingly great match imo. I came into this expecting it to be fine but I liked this match a lot.

My Rating: ****

Main Event: WWE Championship Fatal 5-Way Match - Brock Lesnar def. Big E. (c), Seth Rollins, Kevin Owens & Bobby Lashley (8:20)

If it wasn't for how this match ended, I would look at this match more fondly. This match was nothing but chaos. From start to finish, the action doesn't stop and I love it. But Big E. deserved so much better man… But anyway, on to this freaking roller coaster of a match. Owens and Rollins immediately go after Brock as he gets in the ring while E and Lashley fight to the outside. Brock starts throwing Seth and KO with german suplexes. But Big E. comes back in and knocks Lesnar off his feet before clotheslining him out of the ring. Lashley grabs E and throws him into the ring post before Spearing Brock through the barricade! Seth and Owens alliance leads to them taking Lashley out. Seth sees Brock getting back up and suicide dives him before Owens hits a frog splash from the apron. Seth and Owens use one of the steps to slam them into Lashley and Lesnar's heads. Seth and KO try to suplex Lashley through the announce table off the steps, but Bobby fights them off. But Big E. comes over and uranages him through the table. Seth and Owens grab E and toss him back in before giving Brock a DDT on some steps. Owens and Seth try to double Big E. but E catches Seth and drops him. But Owens gets a Pop-Up Powerbomb on E. Owens tries a senton from the top but Big E. gets his knees up, only to get hit with a frog splash by Seth who comes in from offscreen! Seth tries a Stomp on E. but gets caught out of it by Brock with an F5. Brock hits E. with an F5 next. Owens tries to get him with a Stunner but Brock shoves him off and hits an F5. But when he stands back up he turns around to get Speared by Lashley. 1, 2, kickout. Lashley waits for Brock to get up and locks him in the Hurt Lock. But Big E. comes back and breaks it up, drops Lashley with a Big Ending and picks Brock up too, but Lesnar slides off… Hits an F5 and begins the streak of PPVs ending with Brock Lesnar annoyingly winning the last match. The worst part is that Big E. didn't need to lose here. Did Brock really need this? Did this need to happen for us to get Brock vs Roman again (a match we didn't need to watch again anyway). The match is awesome, but this result sucks ass.

My Rating: ****

Cagematch Rating: 6.68

My Rating: 8/10

As much as I hate to give WWE at this point any credit, this was a great show. I procrastinated from watching this, I'm not gonna lie. I had no interest in this whatsoever. But the worst match on the card is 3 stars. With that being said, if good wrestling was all I cared about, this show would be higher. Edge vs Miz is okay but it drags. And Brock Lesnar being… Brock Lesnar pisses me off. Dude gets in the match because he asked and wins. Why should I fucking care about this company if this is the shit you're putting on our plate?

Skyefire said:

If I recall it was supposed to be Reigns vs Lesnar at Day 1 but Reigns got COVID and couldn't compete so they put Lesnar in the other title match. Which could be part of the reason why Edge vs Miz went 20 minutes because they had extra time to fill. I am 1000% behind you on your take on the result of the main event. I cringed when it first happened. Then we got Reigns vs Lesnar in title vs title at WrestleMania and we were stuck with only one champion who was a part-timer. I still don't like Roman Reigns.

Click to expand...

Thats exactly what it was. It was supposed to be Brock vs Roman Part 743. I wasn't watching anymore but I was still aware of what was happening and when I heard about this, all I could do was shake my head and was glad I stepped away when I did.

Judgment Day 2001

Match 1: William Regal def. Rikishi (3:56)

Wow. What an opener. This match sucks but at least its over quick. Rikishi goes for the stinkface early, but Regal is able to get out of there. But a couple minutes later, Rikishi backs that ass up into Regal's face and Regal rolls out and gifts us this beautiful image up there. Rikishi follows him out and slams him face first in the steps which cuts Regal open. Rikishi rams himself shoulder first after Regal dodges him. Regal hits a Regal Cutter for the win. Very weird way to start us off but god damn, I couldn't stop laughing at Regal's face. There's no one better at reacting with their face than Regal.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 2: 3 Stages of Hell Match - Kurt Angle def. Chris Benoit (24:00)

So after getting a quick opener, we get a match that goes over 20 minutes and steals the show. Just an awesome match. Angle and Benoit is one of my favorite pairs of opponents ever. This match is of course for the gold medals that Benoit stole from Angle and kept in his tights. Benoit hands them to the referee and Angle attacks before the bell even rings. The first fall is a regular singles match but is over in less than 2 minutes. Despite Angle giving himself an advantage at the start, he tries to hit a diving headbutt that Chris dodges. Benoit hits Kurt with an Angle Slam to win the first fall. Moving us on to round 2, which is a Submission Match. After the referee raises Chris’ hand, Benoit immediately goes for the Crossface, but Angle reaches the ropes and rolls outside. We're off to a fast and furious pace so far. Chris follows him out and lights up his chest with chops. When they make it back in the ring, its just a straight up wrestling match. Each man frantically tries to get a submission on the other and have counters for each other's counters. After seeing that their own olds, the Crossface and Ankle Lock aren't working, both men seemingly have the other's scouted. They start locking in different holds. Benoit rolls Kurt over and puts him in the Liontamer and then later, the Figure 4. Angle manages to escape the hold both times and then after putting him in the Figure 4, Benoit starts going after Kurt's knee. But Kurt manages to pop off an Angle Slam before he picks Benoit’s ankle, finally managing to lock it, and Benoit quickly taps out to probably avoid damage as we head into round 3, a Ladder Match with Angle's medals dangling over the ring. Angle gets a ladder from under the ring, but not a double sided one, a short that he definitely ain't reaching the medals with. Benoit is the first to bring a big ladder in the ring and Angle rips him off it before using the ladder as a weapon. Angle goes for the face but Benoit back drops Angle over the ropes to the floor along with the ladder. Benoit goes back outside to grab the ladder but Angle stops him from climbing it with a low blow. Benoit props the ladder in the corner but Angle is the one who whips him into it before he suplexes Chris on it as its propped up on the ropes. But with the ladder propped between the middle and top ropes, Benoit teeter totters it into Angle's face. Benoit sets the ladder up over Kurt before he begins the climb again. But Kurt pushes the ladder over from under it, causing Benoit to fall throat first across the top rope. Even so, Benoit manages to catch Angle's arm from a punch and drags him into a Crossface. But who's that coming down the aisle? Its Edge and Christian, who run down to drag Benoit out the ring. Kurt takes the opportunity to stand the ladder up and climb as Benoit is fighting 2 men at once outside. Chris manages to fight them away and get back inside. But Christian grabs his foot at the last possible moment and as Chris kicks Christian off, Angle gets his medals and Benoit pushes the ladder over. Angle hits the top rope as the winner, which I'm only now realizing is what Christian told him to do earlier. Before the match, Christian tells him “if you're gonna fall, make sure you have those gold medals.” Yet another fantastic Angle/Benoit classic.

My Rating: ****1/2

Match 3: Hardcore Championship Triple Threat Match - Rhyno (c) def. Test & Big Show (9:13)

I love WWF Hardcore Title matches. Not in the sense that they're bangers but they're always fun to watch. Sometimes chaos is all you need. Test and Big Show start fighting before Rhyno has even made it to the ring. Once all 3 are down there, it doesn't take very long for them to go through the crowd and backstage. They fight back there for a bit. Big Show throws Test and Rhyno around. He actually tosses Rhyno through a window. Big Show teases chokeslamming Test onto a pile of pallets, but Rhyno saves him and they knock Big Show into the instead. Test and Rhyno go back to the ring and now some weapons start being tossed in the ring and used. Big Show makes it back to the ring, where he Chokeslams Rhyno, just before Test gets up and boots him in the face and gets a 2 count. Test dodges a Gore from Rhyno, gets Big Show instead and turns around to get a trash can lid to the face. Test goes outside and grabs a fire extinguisher. He extinguishes Big Show before knocking both men out with it. He pins Big Show for a 2. Rhyno knocks Test out with a trash can and tosses another one at Big Show, who catches it and Rhyno Gores him with the can at his torso. Rhyno pins Big Show for the 3 and remains Hardcore champ.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 4: Women's Championship Match - Chyna (c) def. Lita (6:30)

God, I feel bad for admitting that I did laugh at this match. Straight up, this match is terrible. Absolutely horrible but in a hilarious way. Because Chyna has possibly the most embarrassing wardrobe malfunction of all time and I don't know what the hell Lita was doing. Whether she was trying to stall or somehow didn't notice Chyna's tits just out there for everyone to see, but she keeps trying to do this arm wrench as Chyna is trying resituate her top. And she makes sure every side gets a shot of these himmer hommers. And I feel bad for laughing. JR doesn't help at all because the crowd is going “YEAH!” And I hear Jim Ross say, “the crowd is really getting into it.” And at that point, I lost it. I couldn't contain the series of giggles that escaped me after that. Anyway, after Chyna puts her boobs away, they actually try to have a match but its not good. Clearly, they weren't gelling at all. Oh yeah, and Eddie Guerrero just walks and watches from the aisle like a pervert for some reason. I don't know where they were going with this because Eddie is released before King of the Ring. Chyna wins with a Powerbomb and even though she raises Lita's hand after the match, this doesn't feel like a victory for either of them. And I bet Chyna was pissed after she got to the back.

My Rating: *

Match 5: Intercontinental Championship Chain Match - Kane def. Triple H (c) (12:28)

Now I know what you're thinking. “Ah fuck, not a Kane/Triple H match.” And I thought the same thing. But really, this was a really good match that only gets better as it goes on. Also, post 1999 Triple H fighting for the IC Title just feels odd to me. Kane comes down after HHH, his right arm all bandaged but carrying a huge steel chain in his other hand and he immediately takes a swing at HHH, who rolls outside. Now they're both supposed to be attached at the wrist with the chain, but HHH for the first few minutes in the match attacks Kane from behind, attacks his arm and swings a steel chair into said bad arm. As if that wasn't bad enough, HHH straps the chain to Kane's bad arm. So HHH can just yank Kane's chain (hehe) whenever Kane starts to get some steam going. HHH focuses his attacks on Kane's arm, but Kane is finally able to turn the tide as HHH grabs a chair from outside. Kane yanks on the chain, pulling HHH into the ring post as he holds the chair out in front of himself. HHH’s face is now bloody and now Kane starts to beat down HHH. Kane swings the chain into his skin and wraps it around his neck before hoisting him up from the floor. The fight moves outside again where Kane knocks HHH into the crowd. HHH yanks on the chain and pulls Kane arm first into the barricade. HHH gets on the barricade and Kane grabs him before pressing him and throwing him on the floor with a splat. Kane throws HHH back in the ring and drops him with a Chokeslam. But before he covers him, Stone Cold runs down and gets booted in the face by Kane. Kane gets low blowed by HHH as Stone Cold goes outside to grab a chair. Austin comes back in, somehow misses Kane completely and hits HHH. Kane boots Austin out of the ring and pins HHH for the 3. Silly finish but a pretty good match.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 6: WWF Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Tag Team Turmoil Match - Chris Benoit & Chris Jericho won by last eliminating Edge & Christian (25:53)

Another pretty good match. This match really just goes to show how stacked their tag team division was. The first teams are The APA against Saturn and Malenko of the Radicalz and the APA pretty quickly eliminates them after Faarooq pins Saturn in a minute. Next team to come in are the Dudley Boyz who hilariously try to hit their poses in the corners as they come in and the APA is like “get your ass down here. They have a match thats as good as you can expect. The Dudleys get the “WAZZUUUUP” spot in. Bubba tells D-Von to “GET THE TABLES!” D-Von does just that, but the Hollys run down as the referee's back is turned and Bob Alabama Slams D-Von through the table just set up. Bradshaw hits a Clothesline From Hell to Bubba to move on. So then the X-Factor come out. X-Pac and Justin Credible are the ones wrestling while Albert sits outside. APA manage to stay in it and are still kicking ass. But Bradshaw gets tripped by Albert outside and as X-Pac covers him, Albert holds his foot down. X-Factor are advancing to face The Hardys. And at this point, the pace picks up and the match starts to get good. Albert gets involved again and allows Pac and Credible to isolate Jeff. But Jeff soon tags in Matt, who turns the tide of the match. Jeff and Matt double team X-Factor and Jeff hits a Swanton on X-Pac. Matt covers him, but Albert pulls Matt outside. Jeff dives over the ropes on Albert, allowing Matt to get back in and he tries a Twist of Fate on X-Pac, but Credible superkicks him and Pac covers Matt to advance. Then Chris Jericho's music hits and at this point, we still don't know who his partner is. And then Benoit walks out a moment later. Benoit and Jericho sprint to the ring and begin the fight. Jericho tries to take out Albert though and leaps out at him, but Albert catches him and rams his back into the ring post and then because the referee still isn't paying attention, he presses Jericho and drops him face first on the barricade. So with Jericho on the floor, X-Pac and Justin Credible start grounding Benoit, who already went 24 minutes with Kurt Angle. When Jericho gets on the apron, we see he's bleeding from the mouth. Benoit eventually reaches Jericho, who comes in and turns the tide for them, but he accidentally takes out the referee with a flying forearm. X-Pac and Credible hit him with double superkicks, a 2nd referee runs down. But Jericho kicks out. Pac gets on the top rope and Jericho catapults Credible into him. Benoit comes back in and Albert tries to attack cause he's an idiot. But Benoit and Jericho work together to knock him out of the ring. Jericho gets Pac in the Walls of Jericho and Benoit puts Credible in the Crossface and both men tap out, leaving us with one team left to enter, Edge & Christian. They come down and take advantage of the hurt Chrises. Edge and Christian keep Jericho away from Benoit, who tries to cheer Jericho on from the apron. Jericho dodges a Stinger Splash from Christian and hits a bulldog on Edge to reach Benoit, who amps up the pace. But Edge manages to slow Benoit down with an Edge-O-Matic. They place Benoit on the top rope and Jericho saves him, getting Christian on his shoulders so Benoit can dropkick him off. Edge and Christian go outside to grab some chairs even though I don't think theres no DQs. Benoit and Jericho baseball slide the chairs back in their faces. They throws Christian inside and grab the chairs. Benoit and Jericho swing but Christian ducks at the same time, Edge Spears Jericho and Christian rolls Benoit up from behind. Now Edge and Christian have the chairs and go for Benoit's head. But Jericho tackles Edge. Christian still swings, but Benoit catches his arm and brings him down in a Crossface, forcing him to tap out. The Chrises take it.

My Rating: ***1/2

Main Event: WWF Championship No Holds Barred Match - Steve Austin (c) def. The Undertaker (22:53)

And now its time for our main event, which is actually a little disappointing. But to be fair, I don't think Austin and Taker have had many good matches together. This was only made No Holds Barred during the night after Undertaker threatened William Regal. Vince McMahon comes out first and will sit at commentary for this match. Austin comes out after Taker, who meets him up the aisle. And the first several minutes are very one sided. Undertaker beats Austin's ass. Its a prolonged ass whooping that sees Austin only getting little bits of offense. Its only when Undertaker turns his attention to Vince that Austin is able to get some actual offense in. Austin goes after the Undertaker's knee for a while but after several minutes, Undertaker is back to kicking his ass again. He throws Austin outside and Chokeslams him through the announce table, and Vince hides behind the spanish. After a few more minutes of a Taker beatdown, Austin grabs one of the monitors off the broken table and swings it at Undertaker's head, busting him open. Austin finally is able to keep some sustained offense and takes every opportunity to punch Taker in his bleeding wound. Undertaker looks up at Austin from the mat and flips him the bird. Austin picks up the chair in the ring and swings it at Taker's face and then drops him with a Stunner. Austin covers him but Undertaker kicks out. Austin picks the chair back up and slams it into Taker's back. A good punch makes Austin drop the chair and Taker gets back up and gives him a Chokeslam. Undertaker picks the chair back up and slams into Austin's back now. Triple H runs out with a sledgehammer though, but Taker is ready for him and swings the chair at his head. He starts beating HHH with the chair now before he turns and swings it into Austin's face. Undertaker covers him, but Vince McMahon runs in to stop the pinfall. Taker gets up and now he starts whooping Vince's ass. Undertaker turns around to face Austin, who has a chair in his hands. But Undertaker kicks him in the gut and tries for the Last Ride, but Triple H swings the sledgehammer at Taker's head, KOing the deadman. And finally Kane starts coming out only after his pyro and music hits but instead of waiting for Kane to get down there like most people would, Austin actually pins Undertaker and leaves with his title. Not a terrible match, but god dammit, if the match goes 15 minutes it needs to be good. If it goes over 20 minutes, it needs to be great. This was mediocre and a long watch.

My Rating: ***

Cagematch Rating: 6.69

My Rating: 8/10

A really fun show. Even the bad matches which are really bad made me laugh. Even though the women’s match was more cringy than comedic. Angle and Benoit had an amazing match. The Hardcore Triple Threat was fun. The Chain Match was much better than you'd expect it to be. The Tag Team Turmoil was good even if it was long. If the main event had just been better, this show could've ended on a high note. But it was not good enough to justify giving it over 20 minutes.