Kayfabe Xbox One League School

[Rosie]

WWEF 2k17 Xbox One League Promo School

@Beaver:
"Hello, I'm Beaver, aka CanadianR and I'm the Xbox One League's promo teacher. Here is a place for new league members to improve their ability to write promos. Older members are also allowed to join if they feel that they need to have a second look if they want to step up their game or improve character. The leagues may be competitive in nature because the matches are done in the latest installment in the WWE 2k franchise, but just like a real wrestling promotion, the leagues are also built around the characters that make it up and writing promos are how we further storylines, develop character, and add hype to a match. Promos can be the backbone of a storyline and character. So let's work together to make it great!"

How it works:
-For each student, scenarios or feud topics will be assigned at random (As in whatever we feel like giving you). Your fan reaction (face or heel) will also be assigned at random so you get to experience on both ends of the spectrum. When you are assigned a scenario, whatever you are dealt is what you MUST stick too, no exceptions.

-Scenarios can range from generic to very creative, serious to comedic, main-event to a jobber, good to bad, dark to normal and easy to hard. If you are given something silly, don't complain as it is a way to prepare you for any type of scenario that can/will come up in the main league.

-If and before you change your gimmick/character, you must let the teachers know (it may not be a good move for you or your character personally, or it could be a very good move for you and your character)

-This post will be updated every week or as needed throughout. Be prepared for anything.

-Please ask for help if you need it.

-Don't skip out on the school without a reason or you will receive a strike.

-If you are in the school, you are still able to partake in matches and doing your promo counts for your weekly promo.

-Have fun and let's improve together!

Current Students:

@DemonHunter1257 - Jay Washington/Al Blizzard/Violet Harris
@Cerberus - Shaw
@AleksMonroe - Desean Brooks
@TheCreeD - Alex Creed

Scenario:
"A Little Problem..."

In a call back to my first match promo in an e-fed, which was one of the worst promos I ever wrote, this scenario this week is going to be a fun one.
​

"Last week, your character was in a tag team match against the popular tag team "Danger Zone" made up of Ryan Vendetta and Storm Andrews. Just as your character seemed to have the match in hand, something happened...A person of smaller stature, who was most likely drunk, ran to the ring without a shirt on and distracted you long enough for both Ryan to tag in Storm and they hit their tag finish "The Midnight Sacrifice" on you for the win. This week, obviously upset by it, you're out to address the little distraction."​

Dispositions:

Writer's Choice

Deadline: Dec 17th 11:59pm

Good Luck and have fun!

When assigned, you have to get a promo done.
You need to complete 1 promo by the end of the week or it will result in a strike, but you can post up to 3 if you wish. However; if you have a reason that you are unable to promo (example: lots of school work, work, other commitments, personal issues etc.) then let us know in this thread at least 36 hours before the deadline, we'll either extend the deadline a bit or excuse you for the week.

After your promos are done, myself (and maybe some others) will look at your promos and give feedback. We'll try to give both positive and negative feedback and suggest things so you can improve!

Spoiler: Beaver's General Tips

First: Have decent grammar. While your promo doesn't need to be written by a linguistic genius, it needs to be readable and have a flow.

Second: Good formatting. There are multiple ways to make a promo appealing visually. Here are some examples:

Spoiler: Beaver's General Tips

Kayfabe - The Final Promo, For The Final Match, That Will Be His Final Mission

Kayfabe - Charge Of The Light Brigade...

Third: Don't just fill it with random trash talk to make yourself look tough for the sake of doing that (but I'll admit... doing that is fun). Make it have a purpose and reason, and either use it to send a message or further a story. (Or on occasion, have some fun and lolz, depending) No matter how short or long, that's important.

 

[Blizzard Boi]

@Beaver could I have an extension? I am trying to set up a real wrestler 2K17 league on here and it is taking time out of my day so I'd just need an extension for this and I'm good!

 

[Rosie]

@Beaver could I have an extension? I am trying to set up a real wrestler 2K17 league on here and it is taking time out of my day so I'd just need an extension for this and I'm good!

I haven't even assigned a scenario yet, lol. It will be assigned Monday and due the coming Sunday. If you know you need an extension, let me know by say, Friday.

 

[Blizzard Boi]

I haven't even assigned a scenario yet, lol. It will be assigned Monday and due the coming Sunday. If you know you need an extension, let me know by say, Friday.

Oh, I must've read something on here wrong then lol

 

[Blizzard Boi]

Oh, I must've read something on here wrong then lol

Oh misinterpreted

 

[Rosie]

@DemonHunter1257 - Jay Washington/Nightmare/Al Blizzard/Violet Harris
@Cerberus - Shaw
@AleksMonroe - Desean Brooks
@TheCreeD - Alex Creed

Scenario:

"A Little Problem..."

In a call back to my first match promo in an e-fed, which was one of the worst promos I ever wrote, this scenario this week is going to be a fun one.

"Last week, your character was in a tag team match against the popular tag team "Danger Zone" made up of Ryan Vendetta and Storm Andrews. Just as your character seemed to have the match in hand, something happened...A person of smaller stature, who was most likely drunk, ran to the ring without a shirt on and distracted you long enough for both Ryan to tag in Storm and they hit their tag finish "The Midnight Sacrifice" on you for the win. This week, obviously upset by it, you're out to address the little distraction."

What we're looking for.

@Cerberus and @AleksMonroe and @TheCreeD - As this is each of your guy's first week in the promo school, I want your promo to double a bit as an introduction. During the promo as you're trying to dwarf the problem of the midget, I want to learn a bit about your characters.

@DemonHunter1257 - Your promo from the other week was alright, I want to see how you expand on it. Also, have a clear direction with your promo as one reason you're here is because you don't seem to get how to direct your character. Another reason is that, due to you being unable to direct your character, sometimes it is hard to get a sense of who t hey are. Also, if you wish to promo as Jay/Nightmare or Violet, you pick. Just if you're promo-ing as Violet, first, change the names of who you're facing, and try to introduce her a bit in the promo. You're busy so I'm not going to force you to promo as both unless you have the time, but you should at least try to get one promo in.

Also....whatever you do....don't beat up the midget! I know first hand...bad things happen. He has had it rough enough! Don't belittle him! Don't do something edgy for the sake of being edgy!

Dispositions:

Everyone - Writer's Choice. You pick if you are face or heel and make sure I can find out what within your promo.

Deadline: December 17th, at 11:59pm EST.

As I have a lot of feedback to do for both schools, I am making the deadline a bit earlier than normal, but, extensions are always available if you need them, or at the very least, if you wish to be excused, then you can. If you do, though, it has to be with reason i.e: busy with work/school, personal issues, emergencies, computer problems, etc. Just let me know by Friday if you need one.

Happy Writing, and an early Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas/Whatever you celebrate! :bayley:​

 

[Blizzard Boi]

@DemonHunter1257 - Jay Washington/Nightmare/Al Blizzard/Violet Harris
@Cerberus - Shaw
@AleksMonroe - Desean Brooks
@TheCreeD - Alex Creed

Scenario:

"A Little Problem..."

In a call back to my first match promo in an e-fed, which was one of the worst promos I ever wrote, this scenario this week is going to be a fun one.

"Last week, your character was in a tag team match against the popular tag team "Danger Zone" made up of Ryan Vendetta and Storm Andrews. Just as your character seemed to have the match in hand, something happened...A person of smaller stature, who was most likely drunk, ran to the ring without a shirt on and distracted you long enough for both Ryan to tag in Storm and they hit their tag finish "The Midnight Sacrifice" on you for the win. This week, obviously upset by it, you're out to address the little distraction."

What we're looking for.

@Cerberus and @AleksMonroe and @TheCreeD - As this is each of your guy's first week in the promo school, I want your promo to double a bit as an introduction. During the promo as you're trying to dwarf the problem of the midget, I want to learn a bit about your characters.

@DemonHunter1257 - Your promo from the other week was alright, I want to see how you expand on it. Also, have a clear direction with your promo as one reason you're here is because you don't seem to get how to direct your character. Another reason is that, due to you being unable to direct your character, sometimes it is hard to get a sense of who t hey are. Also, if you wish to promo as Jay/Nightmare or Violet, you pick. Just if you're promo-ing as Violet, first, change the names of who you're facing, and try to introduce her a bit in the promo. You're busy so I'm not going to force you to promo as both unless you have the time, but you should at least try to get one promo in.

Also....whatever you do....don't beat up the midget! I know first hand...bad things happen. He has had it rough enough! Don't belittle him! Don't do something edgy for the sake of being edgy!

Dispositions:

Everyone - Writer's Choice. You pick if you are face or heel and make sure I can find out what within your promo.

Deadline: December 17th, at 11:59pm EST.

As I have a lot of feedback to do for both schools, I am making the deadline a bit earlier than normal, but, extensions are always available if you need them, or at the very least, if you wish to be excused, then you can. If you do, though, it has to be with reason i.e: busy with work/school, personal issues, emergencies, computer problems, etc. Just let me know by Friday if you need one.

Happy Writing, and an early Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas/Whatever you celebrate! :bayley:​

My promo will definitely done by Nightmare!!!!!! Also @Beaver i'll try to get a Violet promo out but if I don't, don't be surprised!

 

[Blizzard Boi]

:unitard::win::harambe:

 

[Cerberus]

The scene begins with a view a large heavy duty prison, the camera swiftly moves towards the front entrance, when it gets there you can see a group of five security guards armed with pistols walking a single prisoner through the halls, the camera continues to follow them as though move to the underground level of the facility, the group eventually approaches a long hallway with a single door at the end of it, once they place the prisoner in the room they lock it with a large chain, the guards all post up at different points in the hall ready to defend from anyone who tries to intrude.

Time passes and the sounds of rioting can be heard and every few seconds a guard disappears and the hallway get dirtier and more beat up, the only constant in all of this is that the chain never got removed... eventually there are no more guards, the camera moves down the hall until its right at the door, a booming sound echoes from the other side as if someones trying to break free.. it continues and the door begins to shake a little.. the scene ends there..

 

[Rosie]

The scene begins with a view a large heavy duty prison, the camera swiftly moves towards the front entrance, when it gets there you can see a group of five security guards armed with pistols walking a single prisoner through the halls, the camera continues to follow them as though move to the underground level of the facility, the group eventually approaches a long hallway with a single door at the end of it, once they place the prisoner in the room they lock it with a large chain, the guards all post up at different points in the hall ready to defend from anyone who tries to intrude.

Time passes and the sounds of rioting can be heard and every few seconds a guard disappears and the hallway get dirtier and more beat up, the only constant in all of this is that the chain never got removed... eventually there are no more guards, the camera moves down the hall until its right at the door, a booming sound echoes from the other side as if someones trying to break free.. it continues and the door begins to shake a little.. the scene ends there..

Scenario:

"A Little Problem..."

In a call back to my first match promo in an e-fed, which was one of the worst promos I ever wrote, this scenario this week is going to be a fun one.

"Last week, your character was in a tag team match against the popular tag team "Danger Zone" made up of Ryan Vendetta and Storm Andrews. Just as your character seemed to have the match in hand, something happened...A person of smaller stature, who was most likely drunk, ran to the ring without a shirt on and distracted you long enough for both Ryan to tag in Storm and they hit their tag finish "The Midnight Sacrifice" on you for the win. This week, obviously upset by it, you're out to address the little distraction."
​

Ummm, it didn't match the scenario and didn't have any dialogue at all. The description is very nice, and it painted a very intense scene (kind of scared me a bit) but it still needs to match the scenario. I get I made a silly one this week, but I kind of want to see what you can do to a variety of storylines. Please do another one, this time matching the scenario a bit. You can even keep parts of this promo for that.

 

[TheCreeD]

*The camera is back on from a commercial as Alex Creed theme song begins to play the audience give of a mixture of cheers and boos unsure of how to react to the up coming superstar, Alex appears and the audience gives of a louder reaction to him showing him self, he makes he way down to the ring wearing a black and dark grey suit looking very annoyed from what happened the following week, he rolls into the ring already carrying a mic he begins to speak*

Alex: last week was a mistake and you all know that! I was ready in this ring to hit the Fearless Knee Strike to end that match between me and that pathetic so called tag team the Danger Zone but that didn't happen now did it? No instead some sort of dwarf or what I could only describe as a child ran out of the audience wearing no shirt and distracted me from the match, the tag team the were able to get into position to hit their special tag team finisher the Midnight Sacrifice then getting them the win... so was my tag team partner like gone at this point? Unable to actually break up the pin! We could have won!! But no instead he got hit by like one move and was out of the match no were to be seen for the rest of it but I'm not here to talk to you about that match i'm actually here to introduce myself my Name is Alex Creed, see I could go on about my backstory and my family like my brother and sister but i'm not going to I am here for one reason only my friends and that's to hunt.

*The audience start are confused and don't make much sound while Alex is speaking, Alex starts to pace round the ring in a circle while he speaks he then stops and stands facing the camera*

Alex: You are probably asking yourself right now what I mean by "Hunt" well you see to get anyway in life you need to have thing that prove you have done great things in your life, for example I am
Here to beat the best to strike fear into those who gave myand to show I am not to by messed with I don't care for what you think of me or in face I don't care what anyone thinks of me! Just know from this point on I am here to win and that there is no one that will be able to stop me! Not even that child or darwf man or whatever just know that no one is safe!.

*He drops the mic as his theme song begins to play once more he rolls out the ring, he walks backwards with a smirk on his face and then begins to walk off normally, the audience don't know how to react to this statement but boos and a few cheers and be heard from around the building*

 

[Blizzard Boi]

*The lights begin to dim slowly and a theme starts to echo through the arena, the crowd boo considering they know exactly who it is then as the words "CUT IT!" blast through the arena, the lights switch back on into a blue colour and the crowd boo even more. Then as the crowd are into booing Nightmare walks through the curtain out onto the stage whilst holding a mic, he then tried to talk but chants of "You look stupid" echo through the arena however Nightmare seems visually unfazed by this chant*

Nightmare: Last week. It was a mistake, the big match was heading forward, I would've destroyed the Danger Zone, but no! A little puff belly midget had to come down and screw it up. Well guess what, I, Nightmare! I ain't taking that, his dreams are going to be crushed by this Nightmare!

*Nightmare then begins to laugh and then the camera points back to the stage to show the little person, in clothes this time walking down the ramp, Nightmare notices this and points at him and carries on laughing, he then suddenly stops and stays ice still until the small person gets into the ring, with a mic*

Small Person: Well hey Nightmare, guess what!

*Nightmare turns to look at the crowd then turns back*

Nightmare: What?

Small Person: You lost last week!

*The small person begins to laugh and then Nightmare walks over to him, with the Small Person being at 5"9 and Nightmare being at 6"4 there is a definite height difference, Nightmare looks directly down at the Small Person and grins*

Small Person: *In a scared tone* Well I caused that loss, so if you think you're so good at wrestling, think again!

*Nightmare then looks to through a punch at him but stops right in front of the Small Person's face obviously trying to scare the Small Person, and it works, the Small Person then flies backwards into the turnbuckle obviously scared of Nightmare. He then scrambles outside the ring*

Small Person: *A nervous tone* Well..... Uh, I am going to get you... Eventually, but you know what Nightmare, that won't be tonight because....

*Nightmare then butts in*

Nightmare: I don't care when it is, I just want to fight you, I want to kill you! I am going to whack steel chairs around your head, I'm going to plant your fat body through tables, I'm going to wrap your body parts in-between the rungs on the ladders, I'm going to cave your head in with sledgehammers, I'm going to give you scars from kendo sticks! And that ain't all, I'm going, to kill you!

*The lights switch off and after a couple of seconds they switch back on, with only the scared Small Person stood on the ramp, the camera then fades to black*

 

[Rosie]

@AleksMonroe you did not log on to promo over the past week, so you will receive a...

Spoiler

Well, Strike one...

Well, I'll try to look at everyone's promos.

@Cerberus

The scene begins with a view a large heavy duty prison, the camera swiftly moves towards the front entrance, when it gets there you can see a group of five security guards armed with pistols walking a single prisoner through the halls, the camera continues to follow them as though move to the underground level of the facility, the group eventually approaches a long hallway with a single door at the end of it, once they place the prisoner in the room they lock it with a large chain, the guards all post up at different points in the hall ready to defend from anyone who tries to intrude.

Time passes and the sounds of rioting can be heard and every few seconds a guard disappears and the hallway get dirtier and more beat up, the only constant in all of this is that the chain never got removed... eventually there are no more guards, the camera moves down the hall until its right at the door, a booming sound echoes from the other side as if someones trying to break free.. it continues and the door begins to shake a little.. the scene ends there..

I said this earlier and I will say it again. This promo had some good description, but nothing to do with the scenario. You didn't even have speech. Even then, the entire first paragraph was one sentence. What I wish for in the future is for you to follow the scenario, and speak.

@TheCreeD

*The camera is back on from a commercial as Alex Creed theme song begins to play the audience give of a mixture of cheers and boos unsure of how to react to the up coming superstar, Alex appears and the audience gives of a louder reaction to him showing him self, he makes he way down to the ring wearing a black and dark grey suit looking very annoyed from what happened the following week, he rolls into the ring already carrying a mic he begins to speak*

Alex: last week was a mistake and you all know that! I was ready in this ring to hit the Fearless Knee Strike to end that match between me and that pathetic so called tag team the Danger Zone but that didn't happen now did it? No instead some sort of dwarf or what I could only describe as a child ran out of the audience wearing no shirt and distracted me from the match, the tag team the were able to get into position to hit their special tag team finisher the Midnight Sacrifice then getting them the win... so was my tag team partner like gone at this point? Unable to actually break up the pin! We could have won!! But no instead he got hit by like one move and was out of the match no were to be seen for the rest of it but I'm not here to talk to you about that match i'm actually here to introduce myself my Name is Alex Creed, see I could go on about my backstory and my family like my brother and sister but i'm not going to I am here for one reason only my friends and that's to hunt.

*The audience start are confused and don't make much sound while Alex is speaking, Alex starts to pace round the ring in a circle while he speaks he then stops and stands facing the camera*

Alex: You are probably asking yourself right now what I mean by "Hunt" well you see to get anyway in life you need to have thing that prove you have done great things in your life, for example I am
Here to beat the best to strike fear into those who gave myand to show I am not to by messed with I don't care for what you think of me or in face I don't care what anyone thinks of me! Just know from this point on I am here to win and that there is no one that will be able to stop me! Not even that child or darwf man or whatever just know that no one is safe!.

*He drops the mic as his theme song begins to play once more he rolls out the ring, he walks backwards with a smirk on his face and then begins to walk off normally, the audience don't know how to react to this statement but boos and a few cheers and be heard from around the building*

*Fun fact, you faced my former E-fed tag team with my character Ryan Vendetta. So I'm part of that pathetic team and the midget thing actually happened because my partner had nutty as heck ideas... *

I'll start with some things that are positive. You gave a decent introduction to your character and you addressed the midget situation. The formatting was alright, but there is a major problem which in my eyes hurts it.

That thing is the grammar and writing. I have Grammarly installed on my computer and it picks out mistakes I write out when I am on websites, writing papers and such, but it picked out about 17 mistakes for a short promo. I also see that your paragraph of description before is all one run-on sentence. Lots of run-on sentences and some words that should be capitalized, but are not. I know grammar is not a big thing to some people and while it doesn't need to be written by a linguistic genius, having alright grammar makes a promo have a decent flow and a bit easier to read. So work on that and the rest will follow.

@DemonHunter1257

*The lights begin to dim slowly and a theme starts to echo through the arena, the crowd boo considering they know exactly who it is then as the words "CUT IT!" blast through the arena, the lights switch back on into a blue colour and the crowd boo even more. Then as the crowd are into booing Nightmare walks through the curtain out onto the stage whilst holding a mic, he then tried to talk but chants of "You look stupid" echo through the arena however Nightmare seems visually unfazed by this chant*

Nightmare: Last week. It was a mistake, the big match was heading forward, I would've destroyed the Danger Zone, but no! A little puff belly midget had to come down and screw it up. Well guess what, I, Nightmare! I ain't taking that, his dreams are going to be crushed by this Nightmare!

*Nightmare then begins to laugh and then the camera points back to the stage to show the little person, in clothes this time walking down the ramp, Nightmare notices this and points at him and carries on laughing, he then suddenly stops and stays ice still until the small person gets into the ring, with a mic*

Small Person: Well hey Nightmare, guess what!

*Nightmare turns to look at the crowd then turns back*

Nightmare: What?

Small Person: You lost last week!

*The small person begins to laugh and then Nightmare walks over to him, with the Small Person being at 5"9 and Nightmare being at 6"4 there is a definite height difference, Nightmare looks directly down at the Small Person and grins*

Small Person: *In a scared tone* Well I caused that loss, so if you think you're so good at wrestling, think again!

*Nightmare then looks to through a punch at him but stops right in front of the Small Person's face obviously trying to scare the Small Person, and it works, the Small Person then flies backwards into the turnbuckle obviously scared of Nightmare. He then scrambles outside the ring*

Small Person: *A nervous tone* Well..... Uh, I am going to get you... Eventually, but you know what Nightmare, that won't be tonight because....

*Nightmare then butts in*

Nightmare: I don't care when it is, I just want to fight you, I want to kill you! I am going to whack steel chairs around your head, I'm going to plant your fat body through tables, I'm going to wrap your body parts in-between the rungs on the ladders, I'm going to cave your head in with sledgehammers, I'm going to give you scars from kendo sticks! And that ain't all, I'm going, to kill you!

*The lights switch off and after a couple of seconds they switch back on, with only the scared Small Person stood on the ramp, the camera then fades to black*

Holy edgy.

:badass:

I'll say something positive first, I didn't mind the interaction with Richard (That's what I call him, too bad he passed away). You didn't take things too far (Although the Sledgehammer violence and saying you want to kill him... lawsuits from the Little People Protection Agency are coming...) You can be creative when you want to and you used him to show your character as intimidating. Not bad.

But, something I feel as though hurts is grammar. In specific, comma-splicing. Look at your last bit of dialogue.

"I don't care when it is, I just want to fight you, I want to kill you! I am going to whack steel chairs around your head, I'm going to plant your fat body through tables, I'm going to wrap your body parts in-between the rungs on the ladders, I'm going to cave your head in with sledgehammers, I'm going to give you scars from kendo sticks! And that ain't all, I'm going, to kill you!"

Other than when you used exclamation marks, there was no real end to a sentence. It was one long sentence and that hurts my reading of it. As well, this is more of an aside for your stuff in the league, I don't get the Nightmare character. I still don't get why Jay initially switched to him other than losses and what was keeping him from being this aggressive in his normal persona? What I recommend you work on is keeping a clear message in your regular promos, developing Nightmare well if you want to keep him, and cleaning up the writing a bit.

I'll be releasing a scenario tomorrow, but as it is Christmas week, if you are too busy, let me know. If you don't have the time to write a promo, tell me. Finshing up school work/regular work and being with family is more important than writing a promo for a fictional character. But, if you are able to promo, I want to get in the Holiday Spirit for the next scenario. Ho, Ho, Ho, Happy Holidays! :grumpyxmas:

 

[Blizzard Boi]

@AleksMonroe you did not log on to promo over the past week, so you will receive a...

Spoiler

Well, Strike one...

Well, I'll try to look at everyone's promos.

@Cerberus



I said this earlier and I will say it again. This promo had some good description, but nothing to do with the scenario. You didn't even have speech. Even then, the entire first paragraph was one sentence. What I wish for in the future is for you to follow the scenario, and speak.

@TheCreeD



*Fun fact, you faced my former E-fed tag team with my character Ryan Vendetta. So I'm part of that pathetic team and the midget thing actually happened because my partner had nutty as heck ideas... *

I'll start with some things that are positive. You gave a decent introduction to your character and you addressed the midget situation. The formatting was alright, but there is a major problem which in my eyes hurts it.

That thing is the grammar and writing. I have Grammarly installed on my computer and it picks out mistakes I write out when I am on websites, writing papers and such, but it picked out about 17 mistakes for a short promo. I also see that your paragraph of description before is all one run-on sentence. Lots of run-on sentences and some words that should be capitalized, but are not. I know grammar is not a big thing to some people and while it doesn't need to be written by a linguistic genius, having alright grammar makes a promo have a decent flow and a bit easier to read. So work on that and the rest will follow.

@DemonHunter1257




Holy edgy.

:badass:

I'll say something positive first, I didn't mind the interaction with Richard (That's what I call him, too bad he passed away). You didn't take things too far (Although the Sledgehammer violence and saying you want to kill him... lawsuits from the Little People Protection Agency are coming...) You can be creative when you want to and you used him to show your character as intimidating. Not bad.

But, something I feel as though hurts is grammar. In specific, comma-splicing. Look at your last bit of dialogue.

"I don't care when it is, I just want to fight you, I want to kill you! I am going to whack steel chairs around your head, I'm going to plant your fat body through tables, I'm going to wrap your body parts in-between the rungs on the ladders, I'm going to cave your head in with sledgehammers, I'm going to give you scars from kendo sticks! And that ain't all, I'm going, to kill you!"

Other than when you used exclamation marks, there was no real end to a sentence. It was one long sentence and that hurts my reading of it. As well, this is more of an aside for your stuff in the league, I don't get the Nightmare character. I still don't get why Jay initially switched to him other than losses and what was keeping him from being this aggressive in his normal persona? What I recommend you work on is keeping a clear message in your regular promos, developing Nightmare well if you want to keep him, and cleaning up the writing a bit.

I'll be releasing a scenario tomorrow, but as it is Christmas week, if you are too busy, let me know. If you don't have the time to write a promo, tell me. Finshing up school work/regular work and being with family is more important than writing a promo for a fictional character. But, if you are able to promo, I want to get in the Holiday Spirit for the next scenario. Ho, Ho, Ho, Happy Holidays! :grumpyxmas:

I have nothing planned until Christmas day and boxing day so I'll write a promo for sure. I wanted to make Nightmare seem intimidating without violence so explaining the violence was my only option also seeing as you are a good feedback person could you go and give some feedback on my newest RWK promo? Plz!

 

[Rosie]

I have nothing planned until Christmas day and boxing day so I'll write a promo for sure. I wanted to make Nightmare seem intimidating without violence so explaining the violence was my only option also seeing as you are a good feedback person could you go and give some feedback on my newest RWK promo? Plz!

RWK I won't give feedback until the match results are released since I am on creative for that I feel it would be cheap to do so.