The WWE Raw Deal for 05/09/11 (Miz/Rey/Del Rio)
By John Canton
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Live from Knoxville, Tennessee this is the Raw Deal…
Alberto Del Rio came out to start the show. The bickering announcers were Josh Mathews, Michael Cole (in the Cole Mine) and Jerry Lawler. This was a very long promo segment to begin the show. Del Rio came out to say that it’s still his destiny be a champion and that destiny can be delayed. In other words, the booking team changes their mind a lot. Ricardo Rodriguez was great at yelling his name. Rey Mysterio came out to say that Del Rio’s destiny was to be Ricardo’s ring announcer, which excited Ricardo, then Del Rio looked at him and Ricardo stopped. Ricardo is great. Then Miz came out to say he is the number one contender, blaming Riley for the loss last week. Miz told Del Rio & Mysterio to fight in a Taco Bell parking lot. That’s classy.
The last man to come out was R-Truth, who still doesn’t have theme music. He put over how he took out John Morrison, who is in the hospital after neck surgery. That’s legit. They showed a video package because Truth is an “angry black man” that has friends in the production truck I guess. Morrison’s only out for about 4-6 weeks, so we’ll see him at the end of June most likely. I loved Truth’s ranting. His babyface character bored the hell out of me. To see this heel act is refreshing. The GM buzzed in to say it will be a triple threat: Del Rio, The Miz and…he apparently hit send before he was done. That was so lame. End the stupid GM angle. Then they announced Mysterio as the third guy. Truth was furious about it. He left the ring and the three others started fighting with Mysterio predictably looking the best. It was a good setup for the main event although it dragged at points too. Miz and Truth were the best on the microphone during this.
Kelly Kelly & Eve Eve d. The Bella Twins (DUD)
Yawn. A minute in, Kelly won with a rollup. The divas division on Raw especially is awful right now because of who they decide to put on TV. After this thrilling one minute match, Kharma came out and stalked the girls. The Bellas ran away because heels actually have brains while the idiot duo of Kelly & Eve waited for her. Kelly was smart enough to go the floor. Eve kicked Kharma and got decked. Then Kharma stalked Kelly some more until she left. Then Kharma put down Eve with the yet unnamed move previously known as The Implant Buster. She finally went after a babyface. I like how they are using Kharma. Since I don’t care much about the four that were in this match, I approve of this segment. It will be fun to see Gail or Beth involved with her.
Kane d. Mason Ryan via DQ (1/2*)
It only went about two minutes because they know Ryan can’t work a lick…yet he’s still getting pushed. Punk is basically a nobody these days without any promo time. Let’s hope he signs that new contract. Show KNOCKED HIM THE FUCK OUT~! when he interfered. Nexus guys ran out for the DQ, Show & Kane took care of them and then did a double chokeslam on Ryan. He shouldn’t roll after taking the chokeslam. Sell it by lying there next time. Also his facial expressions are too fake. They are almost comical rather than mean like they are supposed to be.
Dolph Ziggler d. Santino (SQUASH)
The “new and improved” Dolph Ziggler is what they called him. The only thing that’s new is the hair. He still has the same awful name and song. He’s not awful, but the name is. They said he’d be a future WWE Champion. Isn’t he a former World Champion due to some of the worst booking I’ve ever seen regarding a title? Yes, he is. Not allowed to remember that. He won with the Zig Zag after he countered the dreaded Cobra. Why do they feel like they should re-introduce Dolph? He’s been there for years. Get him a feud.
They showed a great video package about Orton beating Christian for the World Heavyweight Title. Like I wrote in my piece on Sunday about Smackdown’s new World Title picture this is likely the beginning of a Christian heel turn. The video package was great. I suggested they do one while focusing on Christian post match. They did exactly that. I’m definitely more interested in Smackdown than I am in Raw these days. The announcers talked about it at the desk with Lawler saying the fans chose Orton. What a shock since the choices were Mark Henry and Great Khali. Good thing Hornswoggle wasn’t a choice.
Backstage, there was a heel promo with R-Truth yelling at Scott Stanford about “Little Ronnie.” I doubt I’m the only one that was confused by this. Doesn’t matter. He’s a heel and he’s angry. Fine by me. He made Stanford say “What’s Up?” and left. He’s angry. We get it.
John Cena was shown talking to Zack Ryder (as the internet gets excited), who taught him how to fist pump. Cena kept walking, then looked back and Zack was still fist pumping. Broskis around the world celebrated this moment. Give Zack a chance, I say.
Backstage, Miz talked with Riley. Miz mentioned how he’s an idiot for screwing up last week and even threw in the word troglodyte during the promo. Go Jericho go! Miz said he was all jacked up with the brain of a monkey – I think that was a shoot comment on half of WWE’s roster! Anyway, Riley wanted to prove something to Miz.
The camera stayed on Riley as he walked out to the ring. He said the only person he cared about was The Miz. Um, that’s a little weird. He challenged Cena. I was hoping he’d talk about how ridiculous his role with Miz has been even after being “fired” and drafted to Smackdown.
John Cena d. Alex Riley (1/2*)
Oh great, it’s a rematch of their awful cage match. Cena won in about three minutes. He hit two AA’s and the STF for the win as The Miz looked on from the aisle. At least they didn’t give away who was going to win the main event by doing this, right? Oops. I guess they did. No more high profile matches for Alex Riley on Raw please. He’s not good enough.
Michael Cole had a big announcement. He was retiring as a wrestler…undefeated. Lawler didn’t agree, so he challenged him to a match. Cole reminded him of the “can’t touch Cole” stipulation that the GM put in place months ago. They mentioned the Hall of Fame, so Lawler said if Cole beats him again he will give him his Hall of Fame ring and personally induct him. Cole said no. Then he went back to his Cole Mine to mention Mother’s Day and how Lawler couldn’t celebrate because his mom died in February. That’s some very, very cheap heat right there. In good taste? No. Lawler went after Cole, but Swagger went after Cole before he could get him. Please end this feud. Why is it continuing? The heat has been sucked out of it as much as possible. It went from very good to painful to watch.
Kofi Kingston d. Jack Swagger (*1/2)
It went about 8 minutes with a commercial after the first two minutes. It was fine, but they had much better matches on Smackdown in late 2010 and early 2011. They often times got 15 minutes too. This felt rush. It also felt like filler because the US Title’s value has diminished to the point that it means less than a feud with bickering announcers. Lawler came back out at the end to distract Swagger, which led to Kofi hitting Trouble in Paradise to win.
Post match, Lawler took care of Swagger and went after Cole. He grabbed Cole by the time, pulled it through one of the holes and then Cole’s face was comically pressed up against the glass. I’d post a pic of it, but I’d like to get that image out of my head as fast as I can. Eventually refs broke it up. To end this whole thing, Swagger accepted the challenge for Cole meaning it’s Cole vs. Lawler at Over The Limit in a few weeks. Fine. Lawler wins clean. End the feud. Please.
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