Welcome everyone to the Big Red Review. I usually only do this for shows I go to live but it's a special Tuesday edition and I have loads of time. If you haven't used PWMania.com your unfamiliar to this but at one point for around 6 months, I covered every Friday night Smackdown. Eventually my time was limited and I had to stop but nevertheless I'm ready to go tonight. Before we go, I just want to let you all know that that I do cover wrestling sometimes and make wrestling jokes in my blog. It's called the Personification Of Innovation in which you can find every edition in it's own section on the entertainment part of wrestlingsmarks.com. If you want to leave a comment about it or simply read it, it's right there for you to check out.
Personifying originality in the world today.
Preview
Tonight the big guest hosting Smackdown will be Mick Foley in this Holiday edition. Mick Foley is one of my all time favorites for being really crazy and always being entertaining. You have to love Mick, he's simply someone you can't hate. The main event tonight will be in a steel cage match for the World Heavyweight Championship between Mark Henry and D-Bry..I mean Daniel Bryan. It should be an epic encounter with both men. I'm really looking forward to see how Bryan performs in this one. I'm also looking forward to see how the other feuds progress with Wade Barrett and Randy Orton also Cody Rhodes and Booker T. All four guys I'm huge fans of and I'm looking forward to seeing that progress. I'm a huge Booker T guy, so expect a lot of jokes from his commentary. He's absolutely hiliarous...YOU GOTTA LOVE IT!!!
I'm watching the usual intro to all wrestling shows, I've noticed John Morrison is in and not CM Punk. Can this be changed asap, I love Johnny but Punk is the best!!
We are live in Charlotte North Carolina, home to the main eventer in his own magical world..he's on his 29th rebirth he is MATT HARDY!!
Paul London was right about him eating too much McDonalds
We have the interesting trio of Michael Cole (oh god), Josh Matthews (consistent), and Booker T (my boy!!). They are much better than Lawler and Cole in major ways.
Saint Mick Foley Segmentt
Charlotte already pisses me off with not giving Foley a bigger pop. That's not the way to treat the legend. Foley reminds us that Christmas is still four months away and puts over the holiday. He hypes up Bryan vs Henry tonight because he's a smart man unlike the other 35356 crappy hosts. Remember when Jeremy Piven said Summerfest instead of Summerslam. I've hated him ever since that day. Foley hypes up a battle royal tonight and the award is a special gift from Santa Foley. Foley sadly brings up that Michael Cole has to commentate tonight which makes me smack my head in disgust. Cole comes out dresses like the Rudolph Red Nose rain deer which is hilarious. Great choice Foley, Cole deserves it. We go to commentate desk and Booker T isn't there (WHAT!?). This saddens me because Booker T keeps things alive. Anyway Matthews is dressed like an elf which is pretty funny. Cole immediately cries about wearing his outfit because that's Michael Cole for you ladies and gentlemen. Foley isn't done yet and announces Booker T is coming out (YES!). Booker comes out as Santa Claus which is just fitting for the Bookman. Josh calls him Bookaclaus, which kind of fits well but who cares.
AHHH HERE WE GO!!! Bookerisms
Cole immediately makes bad jokes and I refuse to pay attention. Santa has dreadlocks for the first time ever which is pretty awesome. Booker isn't very excited for some reason, not sure why. Santa Foley is such a nice guy, he remembers out Jewish viewers. He makes a few references and tells Booker to do a Spin-A-Roonie. Foley feels bad for delivering us that awful segment of "This Is Your Life" with this so let's hope it delivers. I did enjoy Bull Buchanan makes his return but the rest of it was awful (feel better Bull, sorry that your dog bit you). Foley plays some bad music and Booker yells under his beard "WHAT THE HAYELL" (alright I'm not positive about that). Booker T does the Spin-A-Roonie as the crowd pops big time. Booker T does his infamous Sucka line, but Cody Rhodes decides to interrupt.
His new entrance song sucks, it's way too much techno. Cody discusses being unmasked and can see much more clearer. He calls Booker a lowly commentator and taking time away from the great talent. He rips Booker for not being able to compete anymore which pisses off Booker. Booker says he can still bring it and calls him son, which makes Cody crack up. Cody sh's the crowd for more heat because he's awesome. Cody thinks Booker is jealous that he will never be a champion again but Santa interrupts him. Foley calls Booker a legend and Cody is affecting Santa's fun. Foley tries to book Booker T against Cody tonight, which draws a huge pop. I thought this was going to wait till TLC, oh well. I hope it doesn't fully go down but it should be epic. Foley says Divas are coming out next, which kills the buzz. Still I really liked this segment, Rhodes really looked comfortable and Booker seemed pumped. Let's see if this match actually goes through, my odds are it doesn't happen but you never know.
Divas Pole Match
Santa Foley explains that you have to climb the pole to catch the prize. The winner gets a huge reward from now to Christmas (what joy!!). The divas are dressed pretty slutty but sadly it's not 2005 where we can actually see anything good. I don't know how to call this action, all I know is the heels are dressed different. Natalya is wearing green and the Bellas have green on also I noticed. Nikki Bella looks ready to get the prize, but Brie beats her out to it. Brie wins already, thank god they made it short.
Winner: Brie Bella- DUD, that was what we all thought it would be.
Brie thinks she won a Divas title match, but Santa Foley is having none of that. The award is that Brie can kiss whoever she wants from now to Christmas. Who I think she should kiss? It probably would be Alberto Del Rio, but she should go kiss this man.
He's a winner
Recap of Big Show destroying Mark Henry at Survivor Series. I was there live and it was alright. People were chanting Daniel Bryan the entire time and not giving a crap about Show beating up Henry. Preview tonight for Henry vs Bryan. God I already miss Booker T on commentary flipping out.
Justin Gabriel vs Jinder Mahal
Two guys in the lower mid card fighting each other? Only Santa Foley would think of such a thing. Mahal cuts a promo ripping on America, but he just comes off as a poor man Muhammad Hassan. He's barley getting any good heat, Hassan would have arenas wanting to beat the hell out of him. Cole makes his 20th bad joke on the night of Matthews wardrobe as the match gets under way. Mahal dominates early with a knee to the gut off an irish whip. Then he hits a double under hook slam followed by a kick to the rib section. He uses a front suplex to toss Gabriel on the ropes. Mahal spears Gabriel in the corner, as this is getting ugly for the South African sensation.
Ted DiBiase decides to come out who Mahal has a huge problem with as Mahal tosses Gabriel to the side. DiBiase is the 3rd man to appear as Santa Claus tonight and gives out gifts to his DiBiase posse. If you would have told me after Wrestlemania 26 that DiBiase would have this bad of a gimmick, I would have laughed at you. How the promising fall to such obscure gimmicks is insane. DiBiase tries to give Jinder a gift, but Jinder becomes Dwight Howard and blocks it away from him. This gives Gabriel some time to hit a spinning heel kick followed by an STO. Gabriel goes to the top turnbuckle and we get to see the beautiful 450 splash. That's all she wrote as Gabriel wins it.
Winner: Justin Gabriel- The match was mostly a squash but Gabriel hit some nice moves to come back. I'll give it a * 1/2 but it was too short to be anything great. DiBiase has a creepy stache just for the record.
We go backstage and holy crap it's Jay Uso! I haven't seen him on TV since we found out he doesn't know how to drive on the right side of the road when he's drunk. The Uso's are teaching Santa Foley some dance moves which is a cool segment. Also get to see Trent Barretta who is another under card guy that is highly underrated. RODDY PIPER is backstage too and gives Foley an immediate hug. Piper starts talking but Foley walks away from some odd reason. Some really hot diva is there, it may be Maxime no idea. Hornswoggle is the egg nog server for the evening. He offers Maxime some but she run away. DUSTY RHODES now makes an appearance (it's legend galore tonight) and gets some nog. He offers some gifts to Hornswoggle including a picture of Lady Gaga eating a sandwich but he runs away (WHAT THE HAYELL!!). Dusty turns out and now GOLDUST arrives. So many random faces, this is an awesome segment. Goldust does his trade mark pose which scares Dusty away. Uso's continue to dance with Santa Foley, hopefully Foley doesn't take drinking tips from them. Piper prepares a break but the buzz kill himself David Otunga comes in and ruins all the fun. Otunga wants to shut down the party due to safety reasons, but Santa Foley has none of that. Otunga is apparently Smackdown talent and Foley wants to put him in a match (no Mick, we want guys that actually know how to wrestle)!! Otunga's opponent is going to be Randy Orton. Well it's going to be fun to seeing Otunga get an ass kicking tonight. I don't know much about David Otunga, so I tried googling him. It turned out Punk was right, it's nothing but Jennifer Hudson news. Darn!!
We get a Kane returns video which looks epic. This is awesome production which makes you wonder if Kane is bringing back the mask. I'm a long time Kane fan as you can see from the review. The Big Red is based on a Kane theme, so I've missed The Big Red Machine. I'm looking forward to seeing his return.
I had to go take a piss and take out the dinner out of my oven. I come back and find Kofi Kingston celebrating. Apparently, he beat Tyson Kidd in really quick fashion. I'm pissed that I missed it, sorry folks.
Recap of the Booker T Rhodes incident on Raw where Rhodes threw water in his face. They show video game clips of the match which is pretty cool. I didn't know Booker was in the game as a wrestler, hopefully they have him as a commentator in there too. That would be insane!! We go backstage to the most underrated commentator of all time Matt Striker stuck with interview tasks. He's interviewing Booker T but gets interrupted by Rhodes. Rhodes hits him with his IC title twice which means no Booker T commentary tonight. Thanks Cody, you jerk. The good thing is now we can wait till TLC to see this epic match.
You will be missed Book. Your commentary always brightened up my day.
We are back with Matthews trying to make everyone believe it's snowing. Cole shoots this down with computer graphic design claims. So Cole is playing the role of being a realist. I remember when Punk played that role when he was commentating. God I miss those days, but it's great to see him champ right!
Miracle On 34th St Street Fight: Randy Orton vs David Otunga
David Otunga's entrance song sucks as much as his wrestling ability. That's saying a lot. He has Harvard tights on which is pretty funny. The ring has Christmas decorations for this street fight. I'm ready for this beat down. They have a nice back and forth early before Orton close lines Otunga over the top rope. The steel steps have been replaced by Christmas trees which is pretty cool. Orton throws Otunga into one that has Dave falling hard to the floor. Orton tosses Otunga through another Christmas tree which labels him as a Grinch. Otunga fights back and spears Orton to the ring area twice. Orton fights back though and smashes Otunga's face in the announce table. Orton sees some cookies and actually tries one (LOL). That was a funny spot and Orton actually likes them. Cole actually made them which makes me lose my taste. Randy uses the cookie sheet and hits Otunga with them which has me thinking flash backs from the good old hardcore matches in 2001. Orton puts a wreath on Otunga now and screams HO HO HO (Hey don't talk about Mrs.Hudson like that, SHE'S A NICE LADY!). Orton takes down the third christmas tree and the steel steps was hiding under it which kills Otunga. Orton screams out Merry Christmas, which has me cracking up. Great job Randy, your being funny for once.
Orton jokes around too much and Otunga takes advantage. Orton gets thrown into the steel steps then gets suplexed outside by Otunga. Otunga finds a candy cane pole to use and is ready to swing, but Orton dodges it and starts pounding his face in. Otunga runs away and tries to get out of this, but Orton throws a huge present like a dodge ball and it hits David. This match is hilarious, Randy Orton is awesome tonight. Orton decides to ruin all the nice decorations and throws Otunga through two Christmas trees. Randy does his signature Legend Killer pose which draws a nice cheer (YES!). Orton picks him up and punches him once before Otunga trips over a present (haha). Orton hits his signature DDT on the outside using the apron in a cool spot. Wade Barrett decides to join in on the fun and shove Orton into the ring post. Barrett slams him into the barricade and boots the day lights out of Mr.RKO. Old Nexus buddies helping each other out is nice to see, but Orton kicks out of two after Otunga went for the pin.
Otunga tries to dish out more punishment, but Orton has had enough. He hits his usual close lines then power slam (Cole finally learned how to shut up and not say scoop slam). Orton starts going crazy and hits an RKO to end this funny match.
Winner: Randy Orton ** 1/2. That was really fun to watch despite Orton mostly dominating. Orton was hilarious in the match with several funny spots. It's nice to see Orton be more than just this crazy killer. Cool match, Orton has been great this week. Big ups to him letting Ziggler go over last night. Ziggler is the next huge star in WWE, he needed that win.
We go backstage with Mark Henry and Teddy Long. Henry isn't in Christmas spirit and blames many things. Henry promises to beat up everyone in his way and he's in the Christmas spirit. He's going to give out punishment to Daniel Bryan. Henry tells Teddy to get out of his face and that ends a cool segment.
Recap of Big Show beating Henry up last Friday and Bryan cashing it in. Awesome segment and the crowd was so hot for it. The crowd is behind Bryan finally which is great to see. Tonight's main event should be really fun to see.
Funny Foley video on how he's hosting Smackdown. How can you not love this guy? Anyway time for Battle Royal.
All I Want For Christmas Battle Royal
I see a lot of under card guys in here including my guy Curt Hawkins!! Curt better last in this match, he's a favorite of mine. Smackdown decides to have some entrances before the Battle Royal. Hunico comes out to not much heat, but cool new entrance theme. I'm digging the new rap theme, good stuff. Sheamus comes out to a huge pop and he yells extra loud now. The match is about to begin but Hornswoggle decides to piss me off and come out. He goes to hide under the ring in this battle royal hopefully he stays there.
I'll do my best to keep track of this since it's tough with a battle royal. Within five seconds, Sheamus eliminates Darren Young. Sheamus eliminates another guy and it's an Uso. Josh Matthews isn't very bright and doesn't give me the name, my guess it's probably Jay because he drinks when he drives. JTG gets caught up on the rope and gets eliminated by Hunico. JTG or Just The Gobber as my good buddy John Canton likes to say is eliminated. Justin Gabriel I noticed is in another match, yet Drew McIntyre isn't. This is an outrage, I miss McIntyre!
Cole makes a stupid joke about Foley being fat because he's just a douche. Ezekiel Jackson moves on my shit list even more as he eliminates Curt Hawkins. Sheamus and Big Zeke have a stand off, with Sheamus punching the day lights out of him. Zeke fights it off and close lines The Great White (worst nickname I've ever heard for a main even star). Big Zeke tries to eliminate Sheamus but he sucks so he misses and eliminates himself. Ezekiel Jackson is eliminated along with Johnny Curtis. Kofi Kingston is in this match, wow that's weird. I usually would notice but it's tough nowadays I guess. He eliminates the other Uso, but then Tyson Kidd eliminates Kofi shockingly. Kofi Kingston and the more intelligent Uso has been eliminated. Yoshi Tatsu is taking it to Tyson Kidd but Tyson eliminates him. Then Ted DiBiase tries to eliminate Tyson, but Tyson uses his athleticism and takes out Ted. Wow go Tyson Kidd, all those months of being a workhorse are paying off!!! Ted DiBiase and Yoshi Tatsu are eliminated. Sadly WWE hates wrestling fans and have Hornswoggle screw Tyson Kidd by sneaking under the ring and pulling his legs to the mat. Once against Hornswoggle screws Kidd, who can forget the worst moment of the Royal Rumble this year.
This is an outrage
We are back and I noticed Mason Ryan isn't in this match. What happened to him, did they finally realize he's on steroids? Jinder Mahal gets revenge on Justin Gabriel punching while Justin did a stupid springboard move to get caught in mid air. Justin Gabriel is eliminated. Titus O'Neill has looked impressive and hits a nice slam on Tyler Reks. Titus does some stupid taunt to the crowd, which has them booing. Sheamus close lines him for his stupidity to eliminate Titus. Heath Slater and Jinder Mahal team up to beat down Sheamus. Tyler Reks is still in which makes me happy because he's another guy I enjoy watching. Sheamus starts beating up everyone left in the ring. Reks dares to try Sheamus, but Sheamus beats the hell out of him. All of a sudden everyone leaves the ring to take out Sheamus in a really odd segment. They all went under the rope so everyone is still in it. I've noticed that it's four heels against one. They all take out Sheamus outside to get back in the ring. It's Reks, Hunico, Slater, and Mahal. Mahal decides to stop the fighting and tells them to get Hornswoggle which is wise.
Slater and Hunico beat up Hornswoggle but Sheamus comes to save him. Sheamus eliminates all four men with ease including a brutal brogue kick on Heath Slater. Sheamus is now against Hornswoggle which just makes me shake my head. Sheamus tries to eliminate him but Hornswoggle is annoying. Sheamus finds himself on the apron but somehow Hornswoggle shoved Sheamus out. This is awful.
Winner: Hornswoggle- You can't judge Battle Royals so whatever. Some cool spots but Hornswoggle is so lame. Sheamus celebrates with him after Sheamus looked pissed. Whatever let's move on.
Recap of Daniel Bryan's upset win in the fatal four way last week. It was a huge win for Bryan and overall a great match Each guy played a great part in that match.
I want to take the time to give a shout out to my buddy from Toronto John Canton. He's the guy that writes the best reviews, that is why I don't do them. The John Report is what you need to read for the great reviews. John is awesome and really knows his stuff. You can add him on Face Book at John Canton and follow him on Twitter at johnreport. He's really awesome to follow and is hilarious. Your the man John!!
We go back to the party where my man Ricardo Rodriguez is getting some action!!! Ricardo is awesome but the Bellas disagree because their stupid. Ricardo has to go get some Egg Nog for them. Dusty Rhodes and Roddy Piper are talking about the Cena incident but Santa is back. Santa wants to wish Hornswoggle a wish and makes some lame jokes. Sheamus comes in and says Hornwsoggle wants to learn how to talk. All of a sudden, Hornwsoggle can talk magically which is really weird. He calls Vickie Guerrero grandma which was hilarious. They have an Excuse Me stand off before he leaves. Foley comes back in his Cactus Jack attire (epic)!! Rhodes and Piper have seen enough and leave.
We go backstage to see the great Daniel Bryan warming up. He gets some action from his girl A.J. Wow Daniel sure gets his divas, he's the true chick magnet sorry CM Punk. Bryan does a short interview with Striker on how confident he is. It's go time, I'm excited.
Steel Cage Match For The World Heavyweight Championship Match: Daniel Bryan vs Mark Henry
Bryan comes out to a nice pop while Henry's entrance is pretty awesome. He's yelling a lot and it reminds me of Ray Lewis. "NO MERCY", that's right Mark you tell him. Michael Cole forgets when the TLC PPV because he's a tool as we begin. The match begins with Bryan trying to escape a few times before Henry pulls him down. Bryan gets some kicks in but Henry catches him and throws him into the steel (STEEL!!).Mark beats him up a bit before we head to break.
I really want this for Christmas. Please buy this for me Santa.
We come back with Henry yelling Merry Christmas pushing Bryan into the steel. During the break, Bryan got used as a sling shot into the steel. I'm shocked The Big Show hasn't made an appearance tonight, but I heard he's already on the plane to Japan early this morning. On CM Punk's twitter (highly recommend to follow him), they were singing on the air plane which is nice. Alright enough Twitter talk, I feel like Michael Cole and that's a horrible feeling. Henry close lines Bryan and says it's enough. He's ready to leave but Bryan hits a low drop kick on the bad ankle of Henry. Henry shoves Bryan away then close lines him in dynamic fashion. Bryan sells it like Paul London sold Gene Snitsky's close line back in the Royal Rumble in 2005. Henry goes for the cover, but Bryan kicks out at 2. Henry is ready to head out but Bryan starts taking shots at the bad ankle of Henry. Bryan gets the big man down then uses the ropes to deliver more pain. Bryan now climbs the cage with Henry down for the count. Henry knocks Bryan off and Bryan lands on the top rope. This leads to Henry hits another huge close line.
Bryan tries to hang on to the ankle but Henry has had enough and starts punishing him. Henry is in serious pain as he can't even leave the cage. Eventually he tries, but Bryan hits a low drop on the injured ankle of Henry. Bryan goes for the Labell Lock and somehow locks it in!!! This looks impossible, but he's pulling it off. This crowd is really bad, they aren't even going crazy. This doesn't have a title feeling at all as Bryan gets over powered. He attacks the ankle again then goes for the ankle load. Once again crowd gives only a decent reaction as Henry is in serious trouble. Henry rolls through and uses his strength to knock Bryan away. Henry decides to be an idiot and climb the cage with a bad ankle. Awful idea Mark, now Daniel hops over him and nearly gets out of the cage but Mark holds on.
Bryan nearly gets out again after not being able to pull off a hurricrana. Henry hits a few head butts after getting a hold of him. He has Bryan in the position from the 2nd turnbuckle and hits the World's Strongest Slam!!! Ouch that hurt. This matc his over.
Winner AND STILL CHAMPION: Mark Henry- Decent match, nice story telling and some cool spots but it was limited. Nothing more than a ** 1/2. Awesome ending.
Overall this was a fun show. The main event had a nice feel to it even though the crowd was a major let down. Not a whole lot of wrestling which will piss many people off but it was a fun loving show. The people that appeared was crazy, I didn't expect so many guys to show up. Rhodes, Goldust, and Piper made great appearances. Foley is always great to see as well. It was a fun loving night for the most part. Rhodes and Booker's feud got interesting along with Barrett and Orton.
Stars Of The Night
Randy Orton was awesome tonight.He was really funny to watch and really kicked some ass. He's been great all year, I'm excited to get his DVD. I finally ordered his DVD that came out in September. It should be awesome.
Daniel Bryan put on a great performance. He gets some love too with his courageous performance. The same goes for Mark Henry with the great spot at the end.
Last but not least thank you Mick Foley. You were fun to listen to and you were awesome. You had some great segments and it was really funny.
I really enjoyed SD, but obviously it wasn't as good as last week. People are going to be mad, but I'm a guy that finds fun in most things with wrestling. Overall it was enjoyable with some cool segments. Hope you enjoyed the review, I'll do this again some other time. If SD moved to Tuesday ,I do this every week. But Friday is just not enough time with the weekend. So WWE PLEASE MOVE THIS SHOW TO TUESDAY!! Your ratings will be up and crowd, so please make it happen. Until then, see you on the board.
Had to end it with our WWE champion with me. This was an amazing day.
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