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Why not start this with a tournament arc involving all members of the roster? A 21 man tournament is kind of awkward, so it's going to be 11 byes and 10 in a preliminary round. All of this is randomised, remember. Here's the bracket. Who you got?
Next up: World Champion's Tournament - Preliminary Round
World Champion's Tournament - Preliminary Round Live from the SSE Hydro - Glasgow, Scotland
Homeless Jimmy (KIF) vs. Krusher Kruschev (Grim)
The entire match is just a humiliation, as Kruschev beats on Jimmy before providing a several-minutes long single leg Boston Crab, singing the Soviet anthem loudly as he does it. Halfway through, Jimmy taps in order to make the horrible crooning stop. Winner: Krusher Kruschev in 4:15. Rating: *1/2
Will Ospreay (Jeff) vs. Vladimir Koloff (Grim)
It starts off one-sided again, as Ospreay's agility overcomes the big Russian, and the slightly drunk Glasgow fans groan as they wonder if they're witnessing another squash. Eventually, Ospreay prepares the Stormbreaker... but topples over with Koloff on top of him! What just happened?! The referee counts three, Ospreay doesn't seem to know where he is... and the Russians are two for two! I, for one, call shenanigans! Winner: Vladimir Koloff in 8:37. Rating: **3/4
The Blue Meanie (Juice) vs. Garett Bischoff (Blaine)
Thankfully, this particular outing is a lot more end-to-end, with Garett's basic offense meeting well with Meanie's.... well, whatever it is Meanie does. Meanie seems to be in full "Da Blue Guy" mode, even attempting an Outsider's Edge on Garett Bischoff... though it only gets a two count. This is the turning point of the match, as Garett takes control. Stevie and Nova show up, wondering if they should help, but Meanie waves them off... and walks right into the SNAPMARE DRIVER! Bischoff moves on! Winner: Garett Bischoff in 14:18. Rating: ***1/4
Damien Sandow (Blaine) vs. Chris Bey (Blaze)
Sandow brings out what he claims is a roll of six different college degrees. This is probably the best match of the night, with the young hungry Bey facing off against a Damien Sandow who looks to finish the match early, producing multiple Elbows of Disdain that Bey kicks out of. He even breaks out the Terminus for old times' sake, but Bey is still alive at 2.99! What's it going to take to beat him? Well, cheating, in fact! After a missed Final Finesse Kick knocks out the referee, Sandow pulls something out of the roll of degrees... it's a metal pipe! And he smashes Chris Bey over the head with it! He wakes up the referee, and then adding insult to injury nails You're Welcome!! Sandow wins! Winner: Damien Sandow in 19:22. Rating: ****1/4
Before the next match, Bo Dallas gives a lengthy speech to the fans about how they can be where he is right now, if they just BO-LIEVE! Hangman Page (lower third title: "wants the sad cowboy emoji to be official") shows up, calls Bo out on his Bo'llshit, and Buckshot Lariats a mic stand. Bo then brandishes the fallen stand, and a brawl occurs. The referee declares this match will now be No DQ!
No Disqualification Match - Hangman Adam Page (Jeff) vs. Bo Dallas (Blaine)
Yeah, this is a big old fight with weapons. Whatever you'd expect to be around and under a wrestling ring, it gets used in this match. Chairs, metal trays, kendo sticks, Bo even hits Rollin' the Dice through the Gaelic announcer's table (yeah, that's a thing this show). Eventually, Hangman hits another Buckshot Lariat on to an upturned chair. The Gaelic announcers decide they're not going to appear in this promotion again. They are now receiving unemployment benefit, because what other promotion would hire a Gaelic announcer? Winner: Hangman Adam Page in 16:20. Rating: ****
Battle Royal between All 16 Qualifiers, Winner Chooses The Stipulation For Their First Round Match
Elimination order below. Highlights include:
Dave Sullivan getting mixed up in some sort of Hollywood corruption of dyslexia, eliminating himself, and thinking he's won
The bWo members absolutely destroying Garett Bischoff. Just ruining him. Not even eliminating him because they want him in pain
Dustin Diamond eliminating all three Russians at once, then celebrating like he's ended the Cold War by himself
...until Dez nails him with a Jocay-le Kick and knocks him right out! Winner: Dezmond Xavier in 10:01. Rating: battle royals can't be rated really
16th - Dave Sullivan
15th - Damien Sandow
14th - Sami Zayn
13th - Garett Bischoff
12th - Sammy Guevara
11th - Stevie Richards
10th - Terry Taylor
9th - Hangman Adam Page
8th - Baron Corbin
7th - Hollywood Nova
6th - Big Bully Busick
5th - Nikita Koloff
4th - Vladimir Koloff
3rd - Krusher Kruschev
2nd - Dustin "Screech" Diamond
WINNER - Dezmond Xavier
Next up: World Champion's Tournament - First Round
@Johnny Blaze as the winner of the Battle Royal, Dezmond Xavier has the right to choose a special stipulation for his first round match against Damien Sandow. So, what's it going to be?
@Johnny Blaze as the winner of the Battle Royal, Dezmond Xavier has the right to choose a special stipulation for his first round match against Damien Sandow. So, what's it going to be?
