Reviewing every WWE PPV in order from worst to best

[Skyefire]

I was there in attendance for Backlash. It was a birthday gift from my brother. Prior to that I had only been to house shows. He actually gave me the option ahead of time of Backlash or NXT. I chose Backlash since I wasn't really following NXT and I wanted to see Nakamura's debut and Styles vs Owens. NXT Takeover had the AOP vs DIY Ladder Match in which Ciampa got injured and then later attacked Gargano after the match, and it also had Tyler Bate vs Pete Dunne for the UK Championship. I don't know if it was Wrestling Observer or something else that rated NXT Takeover Chicago as the best show of the year and Backlash as the worst.

 

[Jarf]

I was there in attendance for Backlash. It was a birthday gift from my brother. Prior to that I had only been to house shows. He actually gave me the option ahead of time of Backlash or NXT. I chose Backlash since I wasn't really following NXT and I wanted to see Nakamura's debut and Styles vs Owens. NXT Takeover had the AOP vs DIY Ladder Match in which Ciampa got injured and then later attacked Gargano after the match, and it also had Tyler Bate vs Pete Dunne for the UK Championship. I don't know if it was Wrestling Observer or something else that rated NXT Takeover Chicago as the best show of the year and Backlash as the worst.

That's pretty cool. Although I definitely think you should've went to Takeover. That was a great show. I was gonna go to Payback this year if I wasn't broke

 

[Jarf]

The Greatest Royal Rumble

Decent show, but one question I have is, where the hell was Yokozuna and Ultimate Warrior? Come on, WWE, get your shit together. One thing I wanna say though, is that this crowd was deader than a fish out of water for almost the entire show. Good lord, nothing about this show sucked worse than this crowd.

Match 1: John Cena def. Triple H (15:45)

At the time, I had no idea why this match was happening. Now I realize, it was just an attraction match. A running theme with this show is a lot of low ratings on cagematch. And truthfully, I think a lot of the matches on the show were better than people rated it. This is one of them. This match wasn’t that good, I’d say it was solid enough for an opener though. Although, not what you would come to expect from these two, but they were older at this point. Triple H dominates in the early part of the match, even mocking Cena’s 5 Knuckle Shuffle. But Cena starts to come back and hits an AA, which Triple H kicks out of at 2.99999999. Like, one of the closest 3 counts I’ve ever seen. Cena picks HHH back up, and goes for another AA, but Triple H lands on his feet and hits a Pedigree on Cena, who kicks out. Cena hits another AA, and for a bit of overkill, catapults Triple H in the turnbuckle, and hits a third AA to win the match.

My Rating: ***

Match 2: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Cedric Alexander (c) def. Kalisto (10:14)

A really nice Cruiserweight Match. If it went a little longer, than it could’ve been really great. The pace was quick and Kalisto did things in this match I didn’t even know how to describe. One of these spots, Corey Graves helped me out by calling it a seated springboard spanish fly to Cedric. Fast paced the whole match. Awesome finish too. Cedric is going for the Lumbar Check, and it gets reversed into a hurricanrana. Kalisto goes for the Salida Del Sol, and Cedric counters that into the Lumbar Check. Good stuff.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 3: Tag Team Match for the vacant Raw Tag Team Championship - The Deleters of Worlds def. The Bar (8:50)

Pretty good match for the length that it’s given. The Bar is probably my favorite random pairing. Matt and Bray start off with some double teaming, but The Bar take control, isolating Matt from his corner. But they only have 9 minutes, so Matt quickly tags in Bray, who goes buck wild on The Bar. One very enjoyable spot is when Sheamus is setting up for a Brogue Kick, but Bray does the spider walk. Matt provides a distraction for Bray to get up. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, and walks into Sister Abigail, then The Deleters of Worlds are tag champions.

My Rating: ***

Match 4: United States Championship Match - Jeff Hardy (c) def. Jinder Mahal (6:10)

Bad match, but man it has such a hilarious botch. Jinder became the WWE Champion on the last show I watch, and now I get to watch this match. It’s almost poetic. It’s very boring because Jinder can only do rest holds, but the botch happens when Jeff goes for the Whisper in the Wind, and misses entirely… And Jinder still bumps for it! Jeff doesn’t even glance Jinder, and Jinder still bumps! Oh my god, I laughed for a solid 2 minutes over this! Anyway, Jeff hits Twist of Fate and a Swanton to thankfully retain the title. It would’ve been hilarious though if Jinder still won after such a botch.

My Rating: **

Match 5: SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match - The Bludgeon Brothers (c) def. The Usos (5:09)

The reason this show was so long is because they filled time in between matches with a bunch of bullshit, so there’s no reason this match couldn’t have been given more time and just cut the propaganda. I’ve seen what these 2 teams can do together already, so it’s very disappointing. Especially since this match for the length isn’t that bad. Unfortunately, they don’t have enough time to tell a good story. The Usos are tossed around at first, but The Usos begin to come back and it looks like they’re about to dethrone The Brothers. But the Brothers inevitably beat up their challengers, and retain the titles.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 6: Intercontinental Championship Fatal 4-Way Ladder Match - Seth Rollins (c) def. Finn Balor, Samoa Joe & The Miz (14:33)

A match that falls a bit under expectations, but a good one nonetheless. Finn Balor is the MVP in this match. Seth and Finn are the high flyers. Joe uses the ladder to punish his opponents, and Miz plays the sneaky heel. Miz tries to form an alliance with Joe. Spoiler alert, it didn’t work. But after a few minutes of Joe being dominant, Miz sneaks up from behind and hits the Skull Crushing Finale onto the ladder. Finn hits Miz with the Coup de Grace on the ladder and that takes him out the rest of the match. Finn tries to get up the ladder, Joe is back and continuously stops him. Finn tips the ladder over with Joe on it and Joe’s throat hits the top rope. Finn, with a now bloodied eye, goes up the ladder, only to be intercepted by Rollins, who springboards onto the other side of the ladder and grabs the title, snatching it away from Finn Balor who deserved this win more honestly.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 7: WWE Championship Match - AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura ended in a double countout (14:26)

After their WrestleMania match fell below expectations, could they top it here. No, actually, I thought their Mania match was better. This was still a good match, but it suffers from a bad finish to justify the feud continuing instead of actually writing a good storyline. Dickhead Nakamura is great though. It’s pretty back and forth, it’s just that there’s no drama. They just get their shit in and go home pretty much. But don’t worry, there was at least one cup check in this match. AJ goes for the Forearm, misses and nearly hits the ref, who tries to make himself small enough to fit in a suitcase, and Nakamura hits AJ right in the penis. Just wear a cup man! They eventually go outside and they brawl out there long enough to get counted out. Lame finish.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 8: Casket Match - The Undertaker def. Rusev (9:37)

Undertaker didn’t feel like working tonight I guess. He just jabronis the fuck out of Rusev, who was over as fuck. Rusev gets a few shots in, and even locks in the Accolade at one point. But for the most part, Undertaker makes him look like a pansy ass, which I understand was Taker’s schtick, but he’s really ancient here. I am curious as to how many Casket Matches I’ve watched so far is, because I feel like it’s been a lot. Undertaker Chokeslams Rusev and then Tombstones Aiden English. He tosses Aiden in their with Rusev and shuts the lid on both of them.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 9: Universal Championship Steel Cage Match - Brock Lesnar (c) def. Roman Reigns (9:14)

There was legitimately only 4 moves in this whole match. Legit I only remember 4 moves being hit over and over again. Suplex, F5, Superman Punch, Spear. And the occasional punch. There is a little added drama when Heyman slams the cage door into Roman’s face, and he tosses a chair in the ring. Brock picks it up and he gets… guess. A Spear from Roman, who picks up the chair and slams Brock with it. The finish to this match is a spear through the cage. And because Brock was technically out of the cage first, the referee ruled it as a win for Brock. But I do think it’s comedic how when somebody on the IWC pointed out Roman’s feet was on the floor first, WWE latched onto this to try to get Roman cheered. Yet, Vince doesn’t listen to the internet. Hmm, interesting.

My Rating: **1/4

Main Event: 50-Man Royal Rumble Match - Braun Strowman won by last eliminating Big Cass (1:17:22)

Good lord. Okay, here we go. Match starts with Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler. Okay, good way to start, but only one of these 2 is gonna go til the end. But here lies the problem with having such a huge undercard with a 50-man rumble, is that there is nobody working double duty. Nobody who was in any match earlier in the night is involved here. No Cena, no Bray, no Hardys, no Bar, no Harper, no Rollins, no Finn, no Miz, no Joe. Not a very star studded rumble for it being 50 men. So the ring fills up with guys who have no shot at winning. Ironically, the best part of the match was probably the middle portion. We have New Day shenanigans, we have Daniel Bryan and Kurt Angle going at it. A match that would’ve been no less than 5 stars with both guys in their prime. Rey Mysterio comes in and does Rey Mysterio things. Big E. catches him in a powerbomb position, throws him off. Rey gets caught by Chad Gable, and Rey spins from his position to hit a DDT which was insanity. Orton gets another sick RKO on Apollo Crews. This match is mostly remembered for… you guessed it. TITUS WORLDSLIDE!!! Legitimately, one of the greatest moments in wrestling history. Completely unplanned too. Titus actually slipped and fell underneath the ring, and Corey Graves dies on commentary. They replay it several times. Braun Strowman comes in and is number 41, and he eliminates several men. From here, it kind of slows down, until we get to very end where Chris Jericho, making his very last appearance in WWE, (for now at least) comes in at number 50. And he locks eyes with that stupid idiot, Kevin Owens. Now even though I thought it was dumb that the winner doesn’t get anything (other than a trophy and a belt I guess, who cares though), that only makes the winner less predictable. Shane McMahon tries to hit Coast to Coast on KO, but Braun Strowman, gets on the apron and tosses Shane from the top rope to the announce table! From there, Braun eliminates Lashley, Jericho and Owens. Leaving it down to Braun, Big Cass and Daniel Bryan, who broke Rey Mysterio’s record for longest amount of time spent in a rumble, and a record that will probably stand forever really, ‘cause I can’t imagine they will ever do another 50-Man Rumble and if they do, they’re out of their minds. Cass ends up eliminating Bryan, but that leaves him with Braun, who disposes of Cass pretty quickly to win the “greatest” Royal Rumble match. I thought this match was gonna suck. And at times, it is pretty boring to sit through. But, it has just enough great stuff in their for me to give it a fairly high rating. Greatest Royal Rumble it is not though, and doesn’t even come close.

My Rating: ***1/2

Cagematch Rating: 5.37

My Rating: 7.5/10

Thank fuck this was a decent show, because good lord, 5 hours is too long for even a great show. Yes, though, I think this is the best show I’ve watched so far. And I can’t believe I’m saying that about a Saudi Show. There aren’t really any great matches on it, but I think it has enough good matches on it to be considered good. The worst matches also had the least amount of time, so that’s a positive. Yeah, decent show. Don’t judge me.

Next time, we’re not only going to my birth year, but also my birth month! In Your House: Breakdown!

 

[Skyefire]

Daniel Bryan should have won the Royal Rumble Match. I think Styles and Nakamura went through several countout/DQ finishes before their Last Man Standing Match at Money in the Bank. And this was the last time John Cena won a singles match on TV or PPV.

 

[Jarf]

In Your House 24: Breakdown

My brain hurts…

Match 1: Owen Hart def. Edge (9:18)

Starting the show off with a very good opener on a show that takes place in Canada no less. Edge has the upper hand early, but Owen takes control after Edge dives off the apron and Owen reverses it into a powerslam. But it doesn’t stay that way for long as Edge makes Owen work for the victory. Owen does a Victory Roll, like how he beat Bret at Mania 10, but Edge reverses it into a pin of his own. Edge is looking like he’s about to win the match, but some dude jumps over the barricade and tells Edge his father is dead, and then runs away while Owen rolls up Edge from behind.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 2: Al Snow & Scorpio def. Too Much (8:05)

I don’t remember much from this other than the end, but Scorpio is pretty botchy in this match. He gets worn down in Too Much’s corner until he tags in Al, who is distracted by Scorpio while Al gives Too Much too much head, Al even gives Scorpio some head for some reason. The end of this match is the stupidest. The referee counts pins even when the legal men aren’t involved. Al hits Scotty with a Snow Plow to win the match.

My Rating: **

Match 3: Marc Mero def. Darren Drozdov (5:12)

Why was this match happening? I couldn’t tell ya. Droz holds his own for a bit, but Mero is too crafty for him. Droz hits a powerslam, and gets a 2 count, but Jacqueline puts Mero’s foot on the ropes. While Mero has the referee distracted, Jackie comes off the top with a heel and hits Droz with it, then Mero wins with a 450.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 4: Falls Count Anywhere Match - Bradshaw def. Vader (7:55)

A brawl between 2 big strikers. It’s nothing special though. I think this was Vader’s last PPV match in WWF. Despite it being Falls Count Anywhere, there aren’t really any weapons used aside from the Steel Steps. Bradshaw gets to kick out of the Vader Bomb, and Vader kicks out of the Clothesline. Bradshaw tells him to get back up, and Bradshaw hits another big clothesline, followed by a neckbreaker for some reason to end the match.

My Rating: **1/4

Match 5: D’Lo Brown def. Gangrel (7:50)

Apparently, Gangrel’s first loss in WWF. But again, confused for why this is happening. Gangrel was apparently in a storyline with Edge, so why weren’t they fighting? Shrug? This did no favors for that story because D’Lo basically schools Gangrel the whole match. And just when Gangrel is starting to take some control, Mark Henry comes down. And while the ref is dealing with D’Lo, Mark rams Gangrel’s back into the post. Then D’Lo hits the Lo-Down to win the match. So fuck whatever storyline Gangrel’s in I suppose.

My Rating: **1/4

Match 6: WWF Championship #1 Contenders Triple Threat Steel Cage Match - The Rock def. Mankind & Ken Shamrock (18:47)

Alright, time for something worth talking about. This was a hell of a match even if it gets overcomplicated. Rock immediately goes after Shamrock and while those 2 are fighting, Mankind immediately tries to go out the door. I liked that. Admittedly it does pretty boring in the middle portion. Rock and Mankind team on Shamrock, then Rock and Shamrock team on Mankind and then Mankind and Shamrock team on Rock. But this crowd is firmly in the corner of The Rock, so they’re not a fan of that, and start booing. Rock fights back and ends up hitting a double People’s Elbow on both his opponents. This match also has another highlightable Foley moment, he dives off the top of the cage, and lands on the mat because The Rock moved out of the way. Shamrock tries to go out the door, but Mankind stops him. Shamrock grabs a chair that is just there for some reason, and brings it into the ring. Shamrock misses an attempted chair shot and gets hit with a double arm DDT. Mankind then takes a swing and knocks Shamrock out with the chair and opts to climb up over the cage like an idiot. Meanwhile, The Rock has recovered and crawled over and covers Shamrock to win the match.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 7: Val Venis def. Dustin Runnels (9:09)

Wow. This was awful. Not just the match, but the storyline. Val basically cucked Dustin, and Terri is at ringside in Val’s corner. This match was boring as fuck. Val is in control of the match, I only remember Dustin getting a couple shots in. Val hits a Moneyshot off the top rope to end my misery. So not only does Val cuck Dustin, he also makes him look like a bad wrestler. What a nerd Dustin (in kayfabe) is.

My Rating: *

Match 8: X-Pac & The New Age Outlaws def. Jeff Jarrett & Southern Justice (11:15)

Southern Justice is The Godwinns new gimmick, just to make that clear. This is when Jeff Jarrett began his new gimmick of “I’ll hit you with a guitar, bitch.” X-Pac is the one who gets the isolation treatment in this match. Could’ve sworn it was gonna be Road Dogg because it usually is. X-Pac and Jarrett actually do some fun stuff in this, they basically carry the match, but not much stands out. X-Pac makes the hot tag to Billy, who goes wild for a solid 20 seconds. Then chaos ensues and everyone starts fighting. And while Billy is fighting HOG or PIG in the ring, Jeff wraps his guitar around X-Pac’s head on the outside. Billy hits a Fameasser to win the match for DX. Then they show X-Pac on the outside holding his eye and he has some EMTs tending to him. I’m not sure if this storyline ever went anywhere after this.

My Rating: **1/2

Main Event: WWF Championship Triple Threat Match - Kane & The Undertaker def. Steve Austin (c) (22:03)

I often come to the defense of matches I think are overhated. I think this match is underhated. I hated this so fucking much because the booking behind it was so stupid that it made it hard to get into it. The stipulation is that Undertaker and Kane can only win by pinning Austin. This was meant to stack the deck against Austin, so answer me this… How the fuck does that hurt Austin?! If anything, it doubles his fucking chances of winning! Austin jumps Undertaker with a chair during his entrance and Stuns Kane in the ring for a 2 count. Undertaker and Kane work together against Austin for a while. Gee, I wonder if they’re gonna turn on each other. Shockingly enough, that’s what fucking happens! Who could’ve foreseen this?! See, here’s the problem with making Austin the only one they can pin, is that each of them are gonna break up the pin when the other is pinning Austin! Maybe this is because this was before the “can he overcome the odds” trope in wrestling got overused, so maybe this was seen as genius? But fuck this was fucking stupid. Downright insulting to the intelligence I would say! Taker and Kane both wanna be the champion so of course they’re gonna break up the pin, but Jim Ross reacts to it like he just walked in on his wife cheating on him. My belief can only be suspended so much. And the worst part of this whole thing is that this “master plan” works. Undertaker and Kane pin Austin at the same time after a double chokeslam. Vince runs down and takes the title. Austin runs out to the parking lot and sees Vince in the back of a limo with the belt flipping him off. That’s how the show ends. Matches like this only help my point when I say the Attitude Era was overrated. I don’t want to give it a DUD because they did try, but god this was dumb.

My Rating: *

My Rating: 4/10

WWF PPVs in 1998 and 1999 have a reputation of being awful, and this show doesn’t help. If it weren’t for the talent this roster had, this company would’ve been dead in the water. Vince Russo should never have been allowed to book anything for any company.

Next PPV will be another Backlash, where we see a young upstart finally win the big one. Backlash in 2002.

 

[Skyefire]

The main event of Break Down may have been subpar, but it kicked off what I consider to be the greatest build to WrestleMania. Austin loses the title, everyone wants to see him win it back. He gets fired at Judgment Day, gets rehired by Shane McMahon, put into a 16-man tournament for the WWF title at Survivor Series, gets screwed by Shane at Survivor Series, qualifies for the Royal Rumble, loses to Mr. McMahon, fights Mr. McMahon in a cage match, wins to get his title match at WrestleMania, which he wins.

 

[Jarf]

Backlash 2002

Match 1: Cruiserweight Championship Match - Tajiri def. Billy Kidman (c) (9:04)

The night starts with a fast paced opener. Tajiri takes control of the match early, kicking Billy in the fucking head, really hard. Tajiri also works over Billy’s back, but Billy later starts to comeback. Billy tries the 450, but misses and gets a kick to the head for his trouble. Billy kicks out though and in a bit he would hit a sit-out powerbomb from the top rope. Tajiri kicks out. Billy picks him up for a powerbomb, but Tajiri red mists Billy in the face, and Tajiri covers him to become the new Cruiserweight Champion.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 2: Scott Hall def. Bradshaw (6:42)

X-Pac comes down with Scott, while Faarooq makes his way out to back up Bradshaw. This referee sucks at his job though. Twice, Faarooq and X-Pac hit Hall and Bradshaw right in front of him and he doesn’t think to DQ or send them to the back. It’s just a brawl, which is fine since it only goes 6 minutes. Scott low blows Bradshaw behind the referee’s back and rolls him up for the win.

My Rating: *1/2

Match 3: Women’s Championship Match - Jazz (c) def. Trish Stratus (4:35)

Molly Holly comes out and attacks Trish before the match begins, softening her up for Jazz, who beats on Trish’s back. But Trish fights back and gives Jazz a good fight, but Jazz is too strong for her on this night after the attack and Jazz throws Trish around before she puts her in an STF to make her tap out.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 4: Brock Lesnar def. Jeff Hardy via referee stoppage (5:32)

Brock’s first match in WWE. And wow, what a first impression (well, in-ring impression) Brock murdered Matt Hardy on Raw so now he’s here to murder the other brother. Lesnar tosses Jeff around for a few minutes. Jeff gets a brief comeback in, but that’s what it is, is brief. Jeff hits a whisper in the wind, a twist of fate and a Swanton Bomb, that Brock powers out of on the pin. Jeff goes out to get a chair, and Brock catches him and slams him into the mat. He picks Jeff back up and drops him with an F5 and then 3 powerbombs and the referee steps in to stop the match. Which the fact they did that for Jeff Hardy, a guy who literally fucks himself up more than anyone has, kinda sells the brutality of Brock Lesnar.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 5: Kurt Angle def. Edge (13:24)

A great match. From a feud I believe to be underrated. These 2 had awesome chemistry. They would have better matches later, but this is a hell of a match. Admittedly, the first half isn’t anything really, it starts to pick up after Edge gets a belly to belly from the top rope. Edge kicks out of that. Edge reverses an Angle Slam and hits an overhead suplex where Angle lands on his fucking head and shoulder! He’s lucky he didn’t reinjure his neck here. Angle does end up hitting the Angle Slam, but Edge kicks out and Angle takes the straps down and puts Edge in the Ankle Lock. But Edge rolls through in a victory roll pin. Angle ends up getting frustrated and brings a chair into the ring. This never works out for him though because Edge dodges the swing and Angle hits the ropes, causing the chair to bounce back into his face. Edge hits the Edge-O-Matic for a 2 count. Edge sets Kurt up for a Spear, but Angle is ready for it and kicks Edge in the face as he’s running, and hits another Angle Slam for the win.

My Rating: ****

Match 6: Intercontinental Championship Match - Eddie Guerrero def. Rob Van Dam (c) (11:37)

Not spectacular, but this was an athletic contest with some smooth counters. Oddly enough though, it feels like they hit their big spots in the beginning of the match. The match gets worse as it goes on. Eddie wears down RVD for a lot of the match, and when Van Dam starts to come back, Eddie goes outside to grab the IC Title, the referee gets bumped, and Eddie hits a neckbreaker onto the title followed by a Frog Splash and that’s the match.

My Rating: ***1/4

Match 7: Undisputed Championship #1 Contenders Match with Ric Flair as Special Referee - The Undertaker def. Steve Austin (27:02)

You may be wondering, what the hell did they do for 27 minutes? Not much, I can tell you that. This match stunk. Don’t get me wrong, it starts with some Attitude Era style brawling, but thats at the beginning of the match. They have like 20 more minutes left. Also, Scott Hall and X-Pac come to ringside and don’t do a damn thing the entire match nor do they do anything post match. They just stand there. I’ve watched Austin and Undertaker go at it many times, and they always work better together in shorter matches. It’s also incredibly overbooked at the end, but I’ll take it considering its actually something happening. Flair gets bumped (with his red shoes) and Austin hits a Stunner and has the match won right there. Austin tries to get Flair up, but Undertaker low blows him and chokeslams him. Austin kicks out. Flair gets bumped once again and Undertaker hits Austin with the chair. Austin kicks out once again. Austin tries to retaliate, but Flair tries to take the chair out of his hands. Austin wins the tug-o-war, but Undertaker kicks the chair back in Austin’s face and makes the cover. Austin’s foot is on the rope but Flair THANKFULLY doesn’t see it and ends my misery by counting 3.

My Rating: *3/4

Match 8: WWF Tag Team Championship Match - Billy & Chuck (c) def. Maven & Al Snow (5:56)

Basic tag team match just meant to cooldown the crowd after that barnburner they just saw. Billy and Chuck isolate Maven, who eventually hot tags Al. Maven gets tagged back in. Rico runs in, and gets chased out by Al and while the referee is paying attention to that, Chuck comes in and superkicks Maven, allowing Billy to pin him.

My Rating: *1/4

Main Event: Undisputed Championship Match - Hulk Hogan def. Triple H (c) (22:00)

Oh my god… This was so bad…. This was so fucking bad. I wasn’t expecting a masterpiece, but this was just awful. This is worse than the King of the Ring main event this year. Legit the only thing that I remember aside from the finish is Triple H working over Hogan’s leg, for so much of this match… Like, so much of it. The referee gets bumped, and Hogan hits the Atomic Leg Drop, but Chris Jericho runs down and attacks Hogan with a chair, and tries to revive the referee. Triple H takes Jericho out, and hits a Pedigree on Hogan. The referee wakes up, but this time, Undertaker runs down and punches the ref, before going in and hitting Triple H with the chair. Hogan throws Taker out, before he hits another Leg Drop and wins the title…. Oh my god…. Hulk Still Rules… Fuck.

My Rating: *

I will say though, they could’ve justified Hogan winning the title… if Austin had won the number one contenders match. I would’ve bet a lot of money that they were setting up Hogan vs Austin. But lets look at the possible matches they could’ve given us with the 2 big matches. Hogan vs Austin, HHH vs Taker, HHH vs Austin, Hogan vs Taker… And they gave us the worst combination of the four.

Cagematch Rating: 5.40

My Rating: 5/10

The first half of the show is actually decent honestly. Angle vs Edge, Eddie vs RVD, Tajiri vs Kidman, along with the build up of Brock Lesnar, makes the first half worth watching… Unfortunately, they couldn’t stick the landing. The second half of the show is boring as fuck. You have 2 matches that went over 20 minutes and they both stunk. And the last half of the show needs to be great, and it just wasn’t.

We go from a real murican, to a murican show. The Great American Bash 2007.

 

[Chris]

2002 WWE is such a mixed bag

 

[Jarf]

2002 WWE is such a mixed bag

Honestly I'd say the first half of the year was crap, but the 2nd half was awesome.

 

[Chris]

The second half also had some of the worst shit on Raw IMO tho lmao

 

[Jarf]

The second half also had some of the worst shit on Raw IMO tho lmao

*cough* Katie Vick

 

[Stojy]

The second half also had some of the worst shit on Raw IMO tho lmao

2002 second half of Raw was a mixed bag for sure. Katie Vick, Triple H's title reign/reigns in general, no mid card title after No Mercy which just made it feel like more wrestlers than usual were aimless.

Shawn Michaels' return was a high spot though with that Summerslam match being a classic, and the Booker T/Goldust vs. Vitamin C tag feud put on a lot of good matches in that time as well. Some good stuff around but had to shovel through a lot of shit to get there.

 

[Sky]

I remember the retro LD for Backlash 02... that went from great to absolutely BRUTAL in a hurry

 

[Jarf]

The Great American Bash 2007

Match 1: United States Championship Match - MVP (c) def. Matt Hardy (12:55)

Decent opener. It’s back and forth early, but MVP takes firm control when he yanks Matt off the middle rope and Matt’s lands flat with his head hitting the mat. Now I’m wondering if Matt get legit fucked up here because he seems off the rest of the match. Matt gets hit with a big superplex for a 2 count. Matt gets in a decent comeback, but as he goes for the Twist of Fate, MVP throws him into the corner, Matt turns around and gets a boot right to the chest. That’s followed by the worst finisher ever, The Playmaker for the win.

My Rating: ***

Match 2: Cruiserweight Championship Open - Hornswoggle def. Chavo Guerrero (c), Jamie Noble, Jimmy Wang Yang, Funaki & Shannon Moore (6:59)

WWE didn’t even know how to explain this because they do it poorly on commentary. It’s an open which means anyone who is under a certain weight limit would be able to compete. But wow, what a middle finger this was to the cruiserweights. I’m not mad by this, I’m just disappointed I guess. This match was pretty good for the most part because the 5 legit wrestlers get to do cruiserweight things. Chavo and Yang continue their rivalry with some nice action, including a moonsault from Yang which nearly gives him the win. The finish is after a tower of london spot, you know that thing WWE started doing in every multi-man match during the mid-2010s. Chavo suplexes Yang from the top while Jamie has Chavo in an electric chair drop. But Hornswoggle gets on the top rope and hits a splash on Noble to win the title. Legit nobody can believe it. And this wouldn’t be so bad if Hornswoggle wasn’t the last cruiserweight champion. They retired the belt after this.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 3: Singapore Cane on a Pole Match - Carlito def. The Sandman (5:31)

Everything about this just shows that WWE didn’t GET the Sandman. First of all, drafting him to Raw was a dumbass idea. Then this match basically followed the boring “heel gets heat” thing that WWE do. Much of the offense is from Carlito here. Then to make things worse, it’s an “insert object here on a pole match”. Did they rehire Vince Russo for a night? What the hell? The ending renders this stipulation pointless too. Sandman ends up getting the cane off the pole, and he swings at Carlito, but Carlito ducks and sidesteps behind Sandman to hit the Backstabber to win. So the whole thing about them getting the cane meant nothing.

My Rating: 1/2*

Match 4: Women’s Championship Match - Candice Michelle (c) def. Melina (6:22)

Not the best match, but give kudos to Candice for improving herself. If they booked this match in 2006, it would’ve been awful. Melina works over Candice’s arm for a lot of the match, getting frustrated ‘cause Candice won’t stay down. After a comeback, Candice looks like she’s setting up the Unprettier, but then she bulldogs Melina into the mat. I seriously don’t remember that being her finish.

My Rating: *3/4

Then up next is a backstage segment that reminded me of why Candice was one of my childhood crushes… Oooh.

Match 5: Intercontinental Championship Match - Umaga (c) def. Jeff Hardy (11:20)

Underrated match. This was so good. Umaga and Jeff always worked well together. Admittedly, the first half of the match is Umaga beating down Jeff. Umaga tosses Jeff around and cuts off any comeback Jeff starts to mount. But it pays off because that makes it feel that much better when Jeff does get a comeback going. Umaga tries to a headbutt from the second rope and misses and that’s what gives Jeff the opportunity to make a comeback. Jeff gets Umaga down eventually and he hits a Swanton Bomb, but he hesitates making the cover because he goes to his neck. Umaga kicks out of the Swanton still. Umaga superkicks Jeff into the corner. He picks Jeff up and hits a Samoan Spike that sends Jeff into the next century and Umaga pins him to retain.

My Rating: ***3/4

Match 6: ECW Championship Match - John Morrison (c) def. CM Punk (7:51)

Not a terrible match by any means, but these 2 didn’t click. I think they had yet to find their rhythm together. There isn’t a whole lot that stands out. Morrison wears down Punk, before Punk gets his come back in. Morrison has enough of this and goes out to grab his ECW Title and run away, but Punk chases him and throws him back in the ring. Punk attempts a springboard, but Morrison kicks Punk in the knee on the landing before Morrison covers Punk, hooking the knee he kicked which was smart.

My Rating: **1/2

Match 7: Texas Bullrope Match - Randy Orton def. Dusty Rhodes (5:40)

That’s right. Dusty Rhodes was in a match in 2007. And he was awesome. I don’t care what people say about him being slow. Dusty Rhodes ruled in this match. Orton was kicking people in their prime in the head and sending them home and Dusty was out here playing around with him. The nuts on this man. But that may have been his mistake, because Orton takes control after hitting Dusty in the knee with the cowbell. That’s what Orton uses to win the match too, he hits Dusty in the head with it and pins him. Then Orton plans to punt Dusty’s head, before Dusty’s son, some kid named Cody runs out to step in front of his dad.

My Rating: **

Match 8: World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match - The Great Khali (c) def. Batista & Kane (10:03)

My rating for this match is entirely for the efforts of Batista and Kane because Khali fucking sucks. Now, this match isn’t that great but it’s better than I expected it to be. Khali beats both guys up at first, and applies the most devastating hold in the history of wrestling… the nerve hold on both guys. Khali takes apart one of the announce tables, and it backfires because Kane and Batista put him through it together. Kane and Batista beat the crap out of each other, but Khali gets back in and gets a Chokeslam from Kane. Batista breaks up the pin, then Batista hits Khali with a spinebuster, the move that would eventually end his title reign. Kane breaks it up. Kane hits a Chokeslam on Batista, but Batista kicks out. Then Batista hits Kane with a Batista Bomb, but Khali reaches in and drags Batista out of the ring, and slams him into the steps. Khali double arm chokeslams Kane to retain unfortunately.

My Rating: **1/2

Main Event: WWE Championship Match - John Cena (c) def. Bobby Lashley (14:53)

Lashley’s last PPV match of his first run and what a match to go out on. It’s not great, but it’s again, better than I expected. Lashley is on point tonight, as he basically overpowers and is more athletic than Cena. Cena tries to mount a comeback, and Lashley brings him down. Lashley basically is a better wrestler than Cena on this night, as he counters everything Cena has to throw at him, but the match turns around for him when Cena hits the first FU of the match for a 2 count. Lashley hits a great clothesline before he sets up for the Spear, but Cena drop toe holds him and gets him in the STFU. Lashley reaches the ropes, and Cena goes to the other side of the ring, and he turns around into a Spear from Lashley for a 2 count. Lashley gets Cena up on the top rope which ends up being what costs him the match as Cena picks Bobby up on his shoulders and drops him to the mat with the FU. And because Lashley is so close to the ropes, Cena just lays on top of him, holding down his arms and legs, not leaving any room for error to retain the title.

My Rating: ***3/4

Cagematch Rating: 5.41

My Rating: 7.5/10

Pretty good show I thought at least. It has some decent matches on it. I guess the biggest criticism I have for it is that it doesn't have enough juicy stuff on it for me to get really into it.

Next show we're revisiting the devastating Elimination Chamber in 2012. 2 TONS OF STEEL!

 

[Jarf]

Elimination Chamber 2012

Match 1: WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match - CM Punk (c) def. Chris Jericho, The Miz, Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler & R-Truth (32:34)

Oh my god, this match is so underrated. Nobody remembers this Chamber match, but this was great. Jericho is guaranteed to enter last. The match starts with Punk and Kofi, and they get us off to a good start, they have a nice mini-match. Ziggler is the first out of a pod, and some craziness unfolds in the next few minutes. Remember that Logan Paul, Ricochet springboard spot at the Rumble this year? Punk and Kofi did it first, only they were trying to sandwich Dolph between them, but Dolph moved out of the way. But Dolph ends up taking a back drop onto the steel on the outside from Kofi. R-Truth is out next and Dolph takes the second of 3 back drops on the steel grate outside. Truth is only in there for a few minutes, he takes a superplex and an elbow from CM Punk and he’s gone. Before Miz gets out of his pod, Kofi springboards off the ropes, hangs onto the cage well and then leaps off to tornado DDT Dolph onto the grate! It’s at this point where I’m wondering, why isn’t this match talked about more often, because this rules! Miz gets out of his pod and Dolph once more takes the back drop on the steel, making me wonder how many more times Dolph is gonna take that bump. Towards the end of the time until the last man enters, Punk gets Miz in an Anaconda Vice, but Jericho gets out and Punk lets go just so he can fight Jericho. Jericho gets sidetracked by Ziggler however when Dolph tries to roll him up. Jericho kicks out and hits the Codebreaker to end Dolph’s night. Kofi dives off the pod for a double crossbody on Punk and Miz. Kofi is really the MVP of this match, but the MVP is taken out with the Liontamer from Jericho. Jericho continues beating on Kofi after he’s eliminated though, drags him over to the door and throws him out. This next part does sour the match a bit just because they stay on it for a while. Punk kicks Jericho in the head, and Jericho falls out of the Chamber, so he can take a nap. The referee’s decide not to wake him up as he’s all tuckered out. So Jericho’s is eliminated via naptime. Then it’s down to Punk and Miz. And Miz gets a Skull Crushing Finale in, but Punk kicks out because, yeah, no way he’s losing now. Punk finishes things off with a GTS to retain his title. Fuck, this is such an underrated Chamber Match.

My Rating: ****

Match 2: Divas Championship Match - Beth Phoenix (c) def. Tamina Snuka (7:13)

An okay match here, actually. Beth is one of those people who I believe would fit in greatly with the women’s roster today. Tamina tries to go to the top rope, and Beth shoves her off, and Tamina lands back first on the floor. Beth works over Tamina’s back for a good portion of the match. But Tamina gets a comeback in, and hits the Superfly Splash, but doesn’t get the 3. Beth shoves Tamina into the middle buckle, and then picks her up for the Glam Slam to retain.

My Rating: **3/4

Match 3: World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match - Daniel Bryan (c) def. Santino Marella, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Big Show & The Great Khali (34:05)

Not as good as the one from earlier, in fact it’s nowhere near as exciting at the start as the other one. But hot damn, what a finish. The match starts with Big Show and Wade Barrett, and that’s as exciting as it sounds. Then Cody is the first out of his pod. So Cody and Wade smartly decide to team up on Big Show, damaging his legs. But then some life gets injected into the match when Santino comes out of his pod, the crowd goes nuts. They want Santino! But he gets thrown around by Big Show, and the crowd shuts down. Khali is next and he chops Santino, Cody and Wade, but Big Show just spears him and eliminates him. Then Show sees Bryan standing in his pod, he climbs the turnbuckle, and rips apart the chains above Bryan, then climbs in to whoop his ass. Bryan is officially entered a moment later, and Big Show is out to get him. Big Show throws Bryan onto the steel. Cody and Wade team on Show again. Cody hits 2 Disaster Kicks to Show on the outside, and hits a 3rd inside. Wade follows that up with an elbow from the top rope and Cody pins Show to eliminate him. But while Cody is celebrating, Santino rolls him up from behind and eliminates him. Wade Barrett turns up the brutality as he uses the chamber to punish Santino and Bryan. Throwing Bryan into the chamber from a powerbomb position and slamming the pod door into his head. But Barrett is eliminated after the 30 minute mark with a headbutt from Bryan and Santino makes the pin. Now the crowd goes nuts for this final 2. They are chanting “Santino”, “Santino”. They have a sweet mini-match that makes Santino look like he may have a chance. Both the crowd and commentary are losing their minds. Santino pulls out the Cobra and hits Bryan with it, but Bryan kicks out! And from his position, Bryan gets Santino in the Lebell Lock and Santino holds on for a while before he inevitably taps out. Bryan celebrates, but it doesn’t last because Sheamus, the winner of the Royal Rumble comes out and gives Bryan a White Noise.

My Rating: ***1/2

Match 4: United States Championship Match - Jack Swagger (c) def. Justin Gabriel (3:04)

A match not even on the original card. Swagger does wrestler things while Gabriel does high flyer things. Very basic match. Gabriel tries a superkick on the outside, and Swagger catches the foot, and throws it into the ring post. He tosses Gabriel back in the ring and applies the Ankle Lock to make Justin tap out.

My Rating: *1/2

Main Event: Ambulance Match - John Cena def. Kane (21:19)

This storyline was meant to get Cena cheered but they clearly hadn’t learned what people’s problem with Cena was because this match main evented the show over both Chamber Matches. But for what it’s worth, this match is alright. It starts off nicely. It starts off feeling like an Attitude Era brawling match. It slows down quite a bit after a while though. Kane brings out a wheelchair and wheels Cena in it, because they had to remind us of how dirty they did Zack Ryder. They go through the crowd back over to the announce tables. Cena bounces the ring steps off Kane’s head 3 times. He sets up the steps in front of the spanish table, and picks Kane up in a fireman’s carry up the steps, but Kane escapes and chokeslams Cena off the steps through the table. Kane drags a stretcher over and gets Cena on it before he wheels him up to the ambulance. Kane gets Cena in and is about to close the door… You think Cena’s losing to Kane when he’s about to fight The Rock? Hell nah! Cena kicks those doors open and whoops Kane’s ass. Luring him on top of the ambulance, so he can AA him off of it. Cena picks Kane up and tosses him in the back of the Ambulance and shuts it. Not bad, but not good either.

My Rating: **3/4

Cagematch Rating: 5.44

My Rating: 7.5/10

If WWE had just stuck the landing with this show, this could’ve been an 8/10. Those 2 Chamber matches were very good. And that’s why one of them should’ve main evented. WWE only further divided their audience with Cena by having his match go last over the 2 Chamber matches, the match this show is named after, and 2 matches that much better than his.

Speaking of terribly chosen main events, it’s time for WrestleMania 32.