Last Wrestling Match Watched 2.0

[Crippler]

WWF In Your House: Buried Alive - Buried Alive Match: The Undertaker vs. Mankind w/Paul Bearer

They slug it out right away. Taker wins that battle and kicks Mick headfirst to the railing. He rockets himself off the top and takes Mankind out on the floor. Mankind scurries away but realizes he’s run to the grave. He uses a shovel to get out of trouble. The Taker actually busts out a small package, and they roll off the dirt mound to the floor. They head down to ringside and out to the crowd. Undertaker tosses Mankind back over the railing and SKIES over the rail to clothesline him back down. Taker tries the Ropewalk Forearm, but Bearer shakes the ropes, causing the Undertaker to crotch himself. Mankind takes over, and Bearer hands him a pen to stab the Taker with. Undertaker catches him with a reverse elbow and takes the pen away. He hits Mankind with a Flying Clothesline and a legdrop. Bearer draws the ire of the Undertaker, allowing Mick to grab a chair and wallop Taker with it. Mankind takes him up to the dirt pile and puts him in the hole. Taker suddenly pops up and drags Mankind in, but Mankind tosses a clump of dirt in his face. Taker hiptosses him off the dirt mound to the floor, and they head back to the ring. Mankind gets a piledriver, but there are no pinfalls. A double-arm DDT on the metal chair is just as futile. Taker suddenly sits up and crushes Mankind’s skull underneath a chair. Mankind takes him to the floor for a piledriver, but Taker backdrops him into the steps in a sort of awkward Emerald Frosion. Back inside again, Taker slams the steel steps on Mick’s back and drops him with a Tombstone Piledriver. The Undertaker takes him back to the dirt mound. Mankind tries one last desperate grab with the Mandible Claw, but Taker turns him around and chokeslams him into the grave. The ref rules that Mankind is buried enough. But he doesn’t want to stop. Officials come out and are pushed off. Undertaker is then jumped by the Executioner. If memory serves he was Terry Gordy. He saves Mankind. They throw ‘Taker in the grave and start burying him. They’re just pushing dirt into the grave by hand and it’s taking forever. Finally a bunch of the heels run out to help and it still takes forever to fill the grave. The fans chant rest in peace. A few throw sodas into the grave. I cook a couple baked potatoes in the oven and come back to them still filling the grave. I drive to Indiana for a pack of cigarettes and they’re still filling the grave. Finally some rumbling thunder scares the heels off. Mankind finally says good enough and takes off. Then pyro shoots out from the tombstone and Undertaker’s purple glove juts out from the grave. He’s alive!. Such a great string of brawls these two had that just gets better and more violent than the match before. ***1/2

 

[Crippler]

WWF In Your House: Revenge of the Taker - WWF Championship: The Undertaker vs. Mankind (w/Paul Bearer)

These two have been feuding on and offly for about a year now, But on a recent episode of RAW Mankind just now throws a fireball in the Undertaker’s face, which took this match up a notch and explains why Taker recently wants revenge. His right eye is bandaged, but his FURIOUS ANGER is not. To the floor, UT shoves Mankind head first into the guardrail not once but twice. That’s just nasty. Now he takes Mankind over the railing and then back again to ringside. Back inside, Taker hits Old Skool and looks for the TOMBSTONE when Paul Bearer slowly walks up onto the apron. That’s all the distraction Mankind needs to bash Taker with the urn in the face. Cover, 1-2-NO! Running knee in the corner connects as does a swinging neckbreaker. Mankind grabs a nerve hold, but Taker fights back and we’re back on the floor. He finds a water pitcher and hits Taker in the face with that as well. Now a chair! Where’s the ref? Cactus elbow connects and the bandage starts to come off. Back in, the Pull-Up Piledriver gets two. How about one more! He’s too crazy to cover though. UT fires back and hits the Jumping Lariat. Ref gets sandwiched in the corner and then Mankind grabs the MANDIBLE CLAW. Once Taker is out, another ref comes down and he eats the MANDIBLE CLAW himself. With no more refs apparently, Paul Bearer throws a chair in the ring. Mankind isn’t satisfied with just a chair, so he grabs the top half of the steps. As he lifts them over his head, Taker pops up and dropkicks Mankind as the steps come tumbling down. HERE COMES THE UNDERTAKER! He drills Mankind with a nasty chair shot. As if that isn’t enough, he whips Mankind in the ropes as he gets his head caught in the ropes. Once he’s free, the mask comes off to REVEAL CACTUS JACK! OH MY GOSH! MANKIND IS CACTUS JACK! Anyways, as Mankind makes it back onto the apron, Taker grabs the stairs and runs Mankind off the apron to send him taking a nose dive through a table! That’s one for the highlight reel. Back in, Taker delivers a Chokeslam for 1-2-NO! TOMBSTONE! Cover again, 1-2-3. After the match as Taker goes after Paul Bearer, they try to do the fireball spot over and over again and it’s supposed to backfire and burn Bearer. Mankind can’t get the flash paper to work though, so Taker ends up taking the paper and the lighter himself and throws a fireball in Paul Bearer’s face. It was a wild brawl that was probably their best non-gimmicked match. *** - ***1/4

 

[Crippler]

WWF SummerSlam 1997 - WWF Championship: The Undertaker vs. Bret Hart (Special Guest Referee Shawn Michaels)

The stipulation of this match was that if Bret Hart did not win the WWE Title, then he can never wrestle in the United States again. This meant that if Bret won the match by DQ or countout, then the banishment would take place. Hart comes out with the Canadian flag. If he loses he will never wrestle in the US again. He pleads with the crowd to listen to the Canadian National Anthem. He dedicates the match to his Canadian brethren and all his fans around the world who feels like he does about the United States. Shawn Michaels comes out as the special guest referee. If he is viewed to favor the Undertaker he can never wrestle in the US again. Michaels does a great job as referee. He checks both men out. He holds the belt up for the fans to see. Hart asks to see the belt, then pearl harbors Undertaker with it before the bell. Michaels pulls Bret off before ringing the bell. Undertaker gets mad and choke tosses Bret into the corner and beats on him. Hart bounces out of a cross corner whip to take a clothesline. He bails. Undertaker follows to throw Hart into the railing. He throws him into the ring post, but Hart ducks a clothesline and wings ‘Taker into the stairs. Undertaker comes back to ram Hart back first into the ring post. Now this has the energy and flow the last match lacked. Undertaker gets a back breaker back in for two. He cinches a bear hug. Hart bites the nose to break. Undertaker boots him down, but misses a leg drop. Hart ducks under another big boot and works over the left leg. He drapes the leg on the bottom rope and stomps it a few times. Hart is doing a beautiful job of dismantling the left knee. He gets a figure four. Paul Bearer walks out. The announcers highlight the storyline of Bearer swearing that Undertaker’s brother Kane is still alive. Undertaker reverses the figure four. He grabs the ropes to break. Undertaker slams the knee of heart into the canvas a few times. He goes outside to rough up Bearer and Hart dives to take out the knee. Hart locks in the mega-cool ring post figure four. Hart and Michaels jaw at each other. Owen Hart and Brian Pillman come out. Michaels warns them. Hart wraps the leg around the ring post again and Michaels gets on him again. All Undertaker marks note how well he’s selling the leg here. Hart works a knee bar in the ring. Undertaker flings Hart back and clubs him with the good leg. Undertaker looks like his leg collapses and he falls out of the ring, but he was really going after the heels on the floor. Michaels comes out to drive them off. Undertaker gets the choke slam, but Shawn is on the floor. Undertaker gets into it with Michaels and this allows a schoolboy by Hart. Undertaker goes after Michaels again and Hart hits the floor. Undertaker goes after Bret and has his back rammed into the ring apron. Hart rams Undertaker into the ring post. Michaels talks tough with Hart. Hart hits a double axe handle off the second rope. Hart switches his focus to the back. Backbreaker for two. Vertical suplex sets up the second rope elbow drop. That gets two. Undertaker sits up. DDT gets two. Undertaker scores a waist lock and slingshots Hart into the top turnbuckle. He covers for two. Hart works on the back. Russian leg sweep. Hart hits a couple leg drops. He goes for the Sharpshooter, but Undertaker grabs him by the throat. He lands a knee lift and goes to work in the corner. A blind charge in the other corner gets UT a face full of feet. Hart goes into the ropes and runs into the big hand around his throat, but he kicks the knee to break. Undertaker punches back. He hits the flying forearm. Hart does the chest first turnbuckle bump for a two count. Big boot leads to a leg drop for two. Hart goes to the apron, but Undertaker lifts him up and over by the throat for a choke slam. Two count. Undertaker tries for the ropewalk, but Hart kicks the ropes to crotch him. Hart sets up a superplex, but ‘Taker’s leg collapses. He tries it again and nails it. Both men out. Hart is up first and locks in the Sharpshooter. Undertaker somehow bucks out of the Sharpshooter and Hart rolls to the floor. Hart comes back in and takes a clothesline, but UT collapses again. Hart slips out of the Tombstone and gets a modified Sharpshooter around the ring post. Undertaker fights out and throws Hart into Michaels. Hart nails Undertaker with a chair. Michaels was still out on the floor and missed it. He comes in to make the two count. Michaels sees the chair and questions Hart. Hart spits on Michaels, so he goes to nail Bret with the chair and inadvertently plasters UT. Michaels can’t DQ Bret for what he did, so he reluctantly counts the pin fall. Michaels walks off in disgust. Great storyline and match build. I loved all the leg and back work by Hart and best of all Undertaker played into it plus i give them alot of credit because Austin/Owen ended a bit sooner then everyone wanted to they had to streatch this out longer then they wanted to. ****1/4

 

[Crippler]

WWF Royal Rumble 2002 - WWE Tag Team Championship: The Dudleyz w/ Stacy Keibler vs. Spike Dudley and Taz

Dudleys toss the champs quickly. They hit the back suplex/neckbreaker combo on Taz on the floor very quickly. Then hit the same move on Spike in the ring. Spike is wearing a neck brace because of a 3D in the parking lot the previous week on Smackdown. Bubba gives Spike a neckbreaker and removes the neck brace. Bubba hits another and then yells at Spike. Bubba with a snap suplex and D-Von is in. D-Von hits the flipping neck wrench but the crowd wants tables. Bubba with a brainbuster and then Bubba taunts that he's going to break Spike's neck. Bubba tries another brainbuster but Spike counters out and hits the Acid Drop. Both men down. Spike makes the tag but the ref was holding off D-Von. Dudleyz hit the double flapjack on Spike. D-Von goes up top and goes for a diving headbutt but whiffs. Bubba just gets in the fucking ring and decides to go on the offense which I guess is a convenient way to avoid the transition. The Dudleyz both go for a clothesline on Spike but he ducks and they collide. Taz in with a flurry of clotheslines and suplexes including a pair of belly to belly suplexes and a modified gargoyle suplex. Taz hits a bridged Northern Lights suplex on D-Von for a close 2 but Bubba breaks it up. Bubba whips Taz into the corner but Spike comes flying off the top with a crossbody. Taz with a lethal Batista kick on Bubba and Spike hits the Acid Drop but no one's buying it as a finish. Stacy gets on the apron to distract. She tries to smack Taz but he ducks and puts her in the Tazzmission to a fucking pop for the heels. D-Von bum rushes him front behind and knocks Stacy to the floor. Spike tries another Acid Drop but D-Von pushes him off the top to the floor. D-Von charges Taz but he moves and Taz locks in the Tazzmission for a quick tap out. Short and to the point. Never really felt like it properly got underway. Felt more like a RAW match, but a hot one. **

 

[Crippler]

WWF Royal Rumble 2002 - WWE Intercontinental Championship: William Regal vs. Edge

Before the match starts Nick Patrick checks around the ring for weaponry from Regal or Edge. He checks Edge and finds nothing then he checks Regal thoroughly and actually finds the knucks. Edge jumps with right hands. Edge hits a backdrop and Regal begs off in the corner. Edge chokes away and face smashes Regal into the mat a couple times. JR and King keep talking about Regal's multiple nose surgeries. Regal cuts him off and hits a running knee. "Regal sucks" chant catches on pretty fast. Regal tries a European uppercut but Edge counters with a backslide for 2. Regal comes back with a right hand and a front facelock. Edge hits a short-arm enzuguri. Not sure I've ever seen that variation. Regal comes back with a release half nelson suplex. Fuck yeah. That gets 2 and Regal is using the awesome heel pin of grinding the wrist into the face EVERY FUCKING TIME. Regal hits a double knee strike and works the lateral press about five times. Regal goes to a straitjacket for a little while. Regal goes for a butterfly suplex but Edge backdrops out and gets a two count. But Regal keeps the arms locked and rolls back into the Regal bomb for 2. Fuckin' A. Regal hits a stiff forearm strike and Edge drops to the apron. Edge tries coming back in and Regal hits another running knee strike and Edge falls to the floor. These are fucking brutal shots. Regal pulls him back to the apron by the hair. Regal tries a double arm DDT but Edge counters and hits a DDT on the apron. Back in, Edge tries a cover but Edge is under the ropes and Regal is on the ropes. What the hell is Nick Patrick doing? Edge sends Regal across to the corner. Regal tries coming out but he collides with Edge trying a spear and both go down. Both up and exchange forearms and Edge wins?!? Bullshit. Blasphemy. Edge hits a spinwheel kick and a vertical suplex for 2. Edge tries another but Regal counters with an elbow and hits a release German suplex. Edge sorta no sells it and hits a clothesline for 2. Edge tries to set up the Edge-o-cutioner but Regal counters with a drop toe hold and goes for the Regal Stretch and hooks it in. Edge struggles and finally reaches the ropes to a big pop. Regal tries reapplying it and Edge reverses and applies his own Regal Stretch but thankfully Regal gets the ropes. Edge dropkicks Regal into the ropes and gets a school boy for 2. Edge heads up top. JR: "Edge would like to work on that nose of Regal. Maybe scattered, covered, smothered and chunked before it's all over with." King: "What? Smothered and chunked?" JR: "That's a Waffle House reference." That was epic. Regal cuts him off and goes up top and tries a suplex but Edge pushes him off and hits a super spinwheel kick off the top. Regal gets out and puts out a different set of brass knuckles. Edge goes for the spear but takes out Regal and the ref. Edge tries to grab Regal but gets the Power of the Punch instead. Regal covers and Patrick recovers to make the 3 count. The match was pretty solid but it could of been so much better. ***

 

[Crippler]

WWF Royal Rumble 2002 - WWE Women's Championship: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Miss Jackie is special guest ref. Trish is face and selling a hand injury from an earlier beatdown. Jazz jumps her to start with right hands and hits a backdrop. A splash gets 2. Trish fights back with forearms and gets a sunset flip and trade pinning combinations for a while. Jazz goes back on the offense with a clothesline. Jazz hotshots Trish into the ropes and hits a leg drop for 2. Jazz applies a rope assisted Americana. Jackie tells her to break it up and they get into a shoving match. Trish tries a school girl but Jazz reverses and Jackie slowly counts. Trish comes back with a jawbreaker and some right hands but Jazz snaps her down by the bad arm. Trish selling well here. She flips out of a suplex and hits the Strausfaction but Jazz rolls through the pin and gets a 2 count of her own. Jazz hits a DDT for 2. Jazz hits a running clothesline in the corner. She sends Trish across and goes for another but Trish gets the boot up and hits a bulldog for the 3. This was a pre-great worker Trish some it was mehhh. *

 

[Crippler]

WWF Royal Rumble 2002 - Street Fight: Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Flair's son and daughter are in the front row and they look fucking depressed about being here for some reason. Staredown to start. Lock up and Vince tosses Flair to start and hits a side chest pose. Vince almost tore both quads on that pose but luckily he was already in the ring. Vince with a side headlock. Flair pushes him off but Vince hits a shoulderblock and struts. Fuck this asshole. Flair with a wristlock and a takedown. He boots in the corner and taunts. McMahon comes back with a boot and a shoulder charge in the corner. Vince chops Flair and tries to "Woo" Flair and Flair aint having that fucking shit. He tosses Vince in the corner and chops him thrice and hits the Woo but Vince goes to the eye. Crowd really into this one. Vince with a whip and a clothesline. JR tries to mask the absurdity of Vince getting the best of Flair in ANY exchange ever by saying, "This is not a wrestling match; this is a street fight." That might be the case if they had do something worse than chops and eye rakes, but right now a wrestling match is exactly what the fuck it is. Vince pokes the eye in the corner again and Flair flops. Vince whips him across tepidly and Flair goes his turnbuckle spot and then gets clotheslined to the floor. This is a sad parody of every Flair match condensed into a 3 minute mockery. On the floor, Vince hits Flair with a security sign a couple times and then whips Flair into the barricade. Flair blades. Vince gets a trashcan from under the ring as JR tries to veer King away from talking about Vince McMahon's sexual preferences. Vince hits Flair with the trash can and another Flair flop. Vince with some rights and knees and sends Flair into the turnbuckle and Flair might have bladed again. He sends Flair into the steps and hits a body slam. Are they serious with this fucking crap? Who pays money to see a nonwrestler heel dominate a returning face multiple time world champion? This is a pile of shit psychologically. Vince steals the camera from Flair's kids and takes a picture. Vince with right hands and now goes to work on the leg with a leg grapevine and a stepover toe hold. The fans are mostly quiet now with a few mild boos. More leg work from Vince. Flair nicely aids McMahon by dragging himself over to the ring post so Vince can toss the leg into it. Vince applies the Figure 4 and they work a pinfall. The crowd tries to perk up as Flair tries to turn it over. He does but Vince gets the rope. Vince goes ringside and gets a lead pipe. Vince tries to hit Flair with it but Flair goes low to a pop. On the floor, Flair with some chops and right hands. Flair gets a monitor from the announce table and thrashes McMahon with it. McMahon blades. Flair keeps grabbing the monitors because he wants a replay. We get some nice mise-en-scene as the cameraman juxtaposes the diegetic replay from the monitor in the foreground with live action in the background. Gregg Toland just shed a tear. Flair with more right hands. Back in, Vince begs off but Flair goes to work on the leg. He grabs Vince back to his family to get another picture taken this time with the bloody Vince as Flair bites him on the wound. Back in again, Vince wants no part of it but Flair with right hands and a low blow. Flair gets the pipe and fucking lays into Vince with it. Flair applies the Figure 4 and Vince TAPS. I know that Flair was seriously lacking in confidence during this period, so maybe they compensated for that by having Vince control the match but it just shatters the internal logic of wrestling for me. *1/2

 

[Crippler]

WWF Royal Rumble 2002 - Royal Rumble Match

Rikishi gets #1, Goldust gets #2. Goldust is looking great size-wise. Rikishi attacks, but Goldust slugs back. Rikishi tosses him, but not out. Again, and he’s teetering, but makes it in. Bossman is in at #3 to help Goldust, but he gets avalanched. Bossman slugs away and they try to put Rikishi out, with no luck. Bradshaw is #4 and he hits everything that’s gold, fat or washed up. In some cases he has to make two trips to cover all the combinations. Bossman gets an extended Stinkface from Rikishi and he’s quickly gone via a superkick. Yeah, after that there’s just no point in even trying. Bradshaw powerbombs Goldust as Lance Storm is #5. He goes after Goldust while Bradshaw tries to get Rikishi out and vice-versa. Not much going on. Bradshaw pounds Storm and Al Snow is #6. Bradshaw kills Storm dead with the Clothesline from Heck, but Storm goes low. Speaking of going down, Billy Gunn is #7 and he for Bradshaw before running into a boot. Snow & Storm fight on the apron until Storm gets knocked off and out. Billy takes Bradshaw from behind…and eliminates him. Undertaker is #8, and everyone panics. Rightly so, as Billy, Snow, Goldust and Rikishi are all history, and good riddance to big jobbers. Matt Hardy returns at #9, having made up with Lita in the interim. He’s game for a fight, but UT chokes the happy couple down. Lita goes low, which allows Matt a neckbreaker, and they stomp away. Taker charges and hits elbow, and Matt keeps slugging. The intervals are actually getting longer, around 2:40 in this case. Jeff is #10, and they double-team Taker and then have a quick reunion. UT clotheslines them both, but can’t toss Jeff. Twist of Fate/Swanton, but UT dumps Jeff and powerbombs Matt into oblivion before getting rid of him, too. Maven is #11, and it doesn’t look good. Taker kills him dead, but the Hardyz intervene for a triple-team attack, distracting Taker long enough for Maven to unleash the DROPKICK OF DEATH…and put Taker out! HUGE pop for that. Then Maven realizes what he’s DONE, and what’s next, as UT returns and beats the hell out of him. Sick chairshot follows, and Taker even shoves the poor cameraman down. He keeps shooting, though. That’s some dedication. Scotty 2 Hotty is #12 but gets pounded coming down the aisle. Damn, Taker is in a bad mood tonight. He turns his attention back to Maven, as he tosses him over the top to eliminate him (for those who cry “No elimination!”, refer to the Giant Gonzalez Incident at Royal Rumble ’93) and then drags him up to the concession stand and leaves him laying. Christian is #13, but has no one to fight until Scotty crawls back in. He gives it a go, but gets DDT’d and pounded by Christian. DDP is #14. He goes after Christian, but can’t toss him. Diamond Cutter, but Scotty attacks and superkicks him out, through the ropes. W-O-R-M for Christian, but DDP sneaks back and tosses Scotty out. Cute. Chuck is #15, and he hammers DDP as Lawler makes veiled gay jokes. Chuck stomps away and chokes him down, but DDP comes back. Godfather is #16 and he brings 12 women with him, but they spend so long dancing at the entrance that we don’t see DDP getting eliminated. Godfather hammers both Christian & Chuck as Albert is #17. He takes on everyone, but the gang up on him and eliminate him. Godfather tries a Ho Train on Christian & Chuck, but misses and he’s gone. Saturn is #18, with some sort of cow skin for tights. He suplexes Chuck as Steve Austin is #19, and whoopass is dished out. Everyone gets tossed, then brought back in, stunnered, and tossed again. His watch is telling him it’s time for Val Venis at #20, who looks RIPPED by the way. Steve stomps a what-hole and whats it dry, but Val comes back and drops an elbow. Test is #21 as Canada unites to go after Austin. Don’t Mess With Texas, though, as Austin tosses both of them. HHHH is #22. The entrance alone burns the whole 2:00 until Hurricane at #23. He tries to chokeslam both guys, but gets casually tossed. Austin & HHHH go back to pounding on each other. Faarooq is #24 and he’s out of there in short order. Back to scrapping, as Mr Perfect is #25. He goes after both, leading to the funniest spot of the match, as they work him over on the ropes, and he STILL manages to swat his own gum out of the air. Kurt Angle is #26, as the crowd goes “You suck, what?” to annoy him. Everyone pairs off as Angle suplexes HHHH but can’t get him out. Austin saves him, but gets suplexed as Big Show is #27. He chokeslams Perfect and holds off everyone until Kane evens the suck factor at #28. They have their big showdown and Kane slams him out of the ring, then gets KICK-WHAM-STUNNERED and Angle Slammed right out himself. RVD is #29 to a huge pop which apparently does not exist if you believe the WWF higher-ups. He gets a frog splash on Angle right away and takes care of everyone…except HHHH, who Pedigrees him right into unconsciousness. How about that. Booker T is #30, and he dumps the dead RVD to earn a heel pop, before Austin stunners him right out.

Final four: Austin, HHHH, Angle and Perfect, surprisingly. Angle Slam for HHHH and the rolling germans for Austin, but a low blow stops that. The Kurt/Curt connection teams up to dump Austin, unsuccessfully. Three-way slugfest and Austin tries to get rid of Perfect, but he’s perfect so Angle dumps Austin from behind instead. Perfect goes after Angle, but he convinces him to go after HHHH with him. Austin grabs a chair and takes out everyone before leaving. Angle & Perfect do the heel miscommunication bit, but shockingly Perfect doesn’t get knocked out. Perfectplex for Angle…but HHHH tosses him. So we’re down to HHHH & Angle, and HHHH takes him down and pounds away. Angle suplexes him but can’t get him over and out. HHHH chokes him down, but gets dumped…and hangs on. Angle celebrates, and gets tossed at 1:09:16. HHH WINS. The long entrances hurt the pacing a tad but this is still a fun rumble. ***3/4

 

[Crippler]

WWF No Way Out 2002 - Tag Team Turmoil Contender's Match

Scottie II Hottie & Albert vs. Christian & Lance Storm.
This was during the time when the WWF pushed Lance Storm as a charisma-deficient automaton. Hard to believe that didn't get over. Why would you accentuate his failings? I mean, every wrestler has some weaknesses. That would be like trying to get Hogan over by highlighting his technical skills. Anyway, Scottie hits the facebuster and goes for the Worm, but Storm breaks it up. That distraction allows Christian to hit the Unprettier at 2:56.

Christian & Lance Storm vs. The Hardy Boyz (w/Lita).
The Hardyz double-team Christian but Storm cheapshots Matt and legdrops him for two. Dropkick gets two. Matt stunguns Christian, tags abound. Jeff forearms Christian and legdrops Storm for two. Storm gets the half-crab, but heel miscommunication sets up the swanton for the pin.

The Hardy Boyz (w/Lita) vs. The Dudley Boyz (w/Stacy Keibler).
brawl to start, won by the Dudz. D-Von powerslams Jeff for two. Bubba does a weird submission move, and D-Von pounds away. Twisty elbow gets two. Jeff comes back as Bubba misses a senton, hot tag Matt. DDT for Bubba, and the yodelling legdrop gets two. Goofy double-team leg sweep gets two on Bubba. Stacy & Lita have a catfight to waste time, allowing Bubba to Bubbabomb Matt. Lita cheats as usual, hitting her one move on Bubba and Matt cradles D-Von for the pin at 4:06. Dudz 3D Jeff on the floor after the match. These teams need a double-turn in the worst way.

The Hardy Boyz (w/Lita) vs. Billy & Chuck.
The Hardyz are out of it, so Billy hits the Fameasser at 1:10.

Billy & Chuck vs. The APA.
Brawl to start, and Faarooq shoulderblocks Chuck for two. Bradshaw hammers him, but Chuck gets the discus punch. What’s with the pigtails on Chuck? I mean, REALLY. Chuck walks into a blockbuster slam and the APA double-team him for two. Billy & Chuck respond with double-teaming of their own on Faarooq. Billy hits the chinlock, but gets spinebusted. Hot tag to Bradshaw, who tosses Chuck and finishes Billy with the Clothesline from HELL.

I hated the whole thing it was just a big time waste i would of much preferred them to do a big tag tournament on tv and let the two final teams go at it here. Plus you let the APA win. The oldest team in the promotion and the ones who have constantly flopped as a draw since almost day 1? I mean, I have no great love for Billy & Chuck (in ANY sense of the word) but if they’re gonna waste our time with posedowns and wins to advance up the ladder, they’ve either gotta shit or get off the pot with this push. **

 

[Crippler]

WWF No Way Out 2002 - Rob Van Dam vs. Goldust

Goldust made a surprise return at the Royal Rumble and claimed to be "an admirer" of someone. That someone turned out to be Rob Van Dam. Goldust aggressively attacks outside and they head in, where Rob gets a spinkick and the flippy-floppy shoulderblocks in the corner. Standing moonsault gets two. Goldust bails (aggressively) and stalls, but intensely. They brawl for a bit and amazingly the world doesn’t set on fire. Goldust gets an elbow off the apron to take over, and utilizes the BUTTBUTT OF DOOM back in the ring. They head up, and Goldust aggressively chokes him, using the ringpost for leverage. Okay, that was pretty neat. He catapults him into the ropes a couple of times, and hits the chinlock. But with PINACHE! That goes on a good aggressive amount of time, so Jerry starts busting out the Oklahoma jokes to fill time. Clothesline gets two, but RVD comes back with a backslide. This what we in polite society refer to as a “clash of styles” as a way to avoid calling it boring. JR usually calls it an “intensely physical confrontation”. RVD gets a leg lariat and a monkeyflip to set up a missile dropkick for two. Rolling Thunder gets two. Senton, but the frog splash misses. Goldust DDTs him for two, then takes forever setting up the Curtain Call, which is the calling card of the JTTS – overdramaticizing your marginal finisher. Rob misses a blind charge, but blocks the bulldog and finishes with the frog splash. A little long for what they were going for, but mostly okay. **1/4

 

[Crippler]

WWF No Way Out 2002 - WWF Tag Team Titles: Tazz & Spike Dudley vs. Booker T & Test

Test attacks Tazz before he gets in the ring, before dragging him in and slugging away. Test chokes Tazz with his foot in the corner, before stomping him and dragging him into the corner. Tazz fires back with a back elbow and a clothesline, and makes the tag to Spike. Spike heads up top and connects with a missile dropkick, then a dropkick to the knee of Booker T. Test intercepts him and goes for a powerbomb, but Spike reverses into a seated senton, and levels Booker with a right hand. Test again goes for a big move with a gorilla press, but Spike reverses that to a Tazz-assisted sunset flip, but Booker is distracting referee Jack Doan. Test takes control and tags in Booker, and they set Spike up for a big kick to the head whilst he’s on Test’s shoulders. Tazz comes in to stop the double-team but is sent out, and Booker takes control of Spike, hitting him with some stiff chops and a nice clothesline. More double-teaming, and Test comes in to choke Spike on the middle rope. Test then sends Spike to the corner and follows with a clothesline two times in succession, before mocking Spike to tag Tazz, but then knocking Tazz off the apron. Scoop slam to Spike in the centre of the ring, but Test misses an elbow drop. Spike sent to the corner but meets an onrushing Test with a headbutt to the midsection. Spike goes for the Dudley Dog, but Test tries to throw him on the top rope instead, only for Spike to miss and hits the apron HARD. That looked painful. Booker heads outside to stomp away on Spike, before throwing him back in for a Test 2 count, Spike grabbing the bottom rope. Booker tagged in, and he goes for the Scissors Kick.. and connects! But instead of the cover, here comes the Spin-a-Rooni! Booker covers, but Tazz breaks the pinfall attempt. Booker sets Spike up on the top rope, but takes too long taunting Tazz, and catches Booker with a tornado DDT. Both men down, and they crawl to their respective corners, tags made to Test and Tazz! Tazz unleashes the clotheslines, before hitting a northern lights suplex to Booker for two. Tazz ducks a Big Boot from Test and sends Booker out of the ring, then tries for the Tazzmission on Test but he can’t get it. Spike comes in and hits a Dudley Dog to Test which gets a two count from Tazz. Spike sends Booker into the ringpost on the outside, whilst Test blocks a charge from Tazz and gets a 2 count with his feet on the ropes. Test isn’t happy and shoves the referee, who shoves him straight back into a Tazzmission! Test taps out almost immediately. The very definition of average, if this was on maybe it might be more enjoyable but for a PPV NO!!!. **

 

[Crippler]

WWF No Way Out 2002 - Intercontinental Title, Brass-Knuckles-on-a-Pole Match: William Regal vs. Edge

Edge jumps Regal during the pre-match patdown, thus virtually ensuring that Regal has brass knuckles hidden somewhere. Edge goes up but gets yanked down. They take turns going after the brass knuckles, and Regal locks in the rope-assisted abdominal stretch. Edge tosses him to the floor and goes up, but Regal shoves him all the way to the barricade. Regal gives him a Butterfly Bomb on the floor. Back in, another one gets two, and Regal goes up for the brass knuckles. Edge crotches him, so Regal tries to powerbomb him to the floor. Edge counters to a huracanrana… sort of. That was ugly. Regal recovers the brass knuckles, but Edge catches him with the Electric Chair to send them flying. Regal kicks them away so Edge can't get them. Edge gets two off the Edgeomatic and spears Regal. Instead of going for the cover, Edge goes out and picks up the brass knuckles. Regal sneaks a second pair out of his tights and nails Edge with them and there’s the three count! They didn't really sell the stipulations, which is deadly in match where the fans don't automatically buy into them. It was a bit sloppy too. *1/2

 

[Crippler]

WWF No Way Out 2002 - The Rock vs. The Undertaker

The Undertaker thought that the Rock was disrespecting him, so they had a feud over it. See, that's a perfectly good reason. Generic rock replaces Limp Bizkit, although you can see Fred & Co. on the big screen. The Rock comes out to a huge ovation and SPRINTS to the ring to start the attack on Taker. Big clothesline on Taker, but Taker comes back with an attempted chokeslam, only for Rock to punch his way out. But Rock gets over-enthusiastic and runs straight into a big boot that gives Taker a 2 count. Taker slows the pace with some deliberately placed punches and kicks, and grinds his forearm into Rock’s face. Rock fires back some punches, but an uppercut from Taker knocks him back down. Rock goes for a neckbreaker that doesn’t go quite right, and Taker gets back control and chokes Rock on the middle rope. Rock is bullied into the corner, and Taker hits some more elbows and punches, but Rock fires back with some punches of his own, only to run into a sidewalk slam from Taker that gets a two count. Chinlock from Taker that lasts 32 seconds of resthold boredom, Rock punches out but Taker maintains his control with a well placed knee and an elbow. Rock suckers Taker into a big boot attempt, only to duck and get him caught on the top rope. Rock then clothesline Taker over the top, and the fight moves into the ringside area. Rock sends Taker into the ring steps, then drags him around to the announce desk. Rock starts setting up the Spanish table, but Taker fights back and crotches Rock on the security barricade. Taker takes a seat on the ringsteps to shout some abuse at The Rock, and chases the referee away. Big right hand sends Rock into the crowd, and the fight moves into the fans. Taker tries to send Rock into a wall, but Rock reverses and Taker is sent into a door. They head back to the ringside area, with Taker throwing Rock over the barricade. Taker places Rock on the apron, and drives his elbow into the side of Rock’s head, before heading on to the apron himself and dropping a leg across his throat. Back into the ring, Taker covers Rock twice for two counts, then a third time after some right hands, again for two. Back to the chinlock we go, but only for 13 seconds, and Rock fights back with right hands, but Undertaker telegraphs The Rock and nails him with a running DDT for a two count. Taker locks in a bearhug, another one of my least favourite holds, which saps one minute and 37 seconds of my valuable time before Rock fights his way out of it. A clothesline keeps both Taker and Rock down, and the referee starts counting both men out, which means more dead time. Both men back up and trading punches, but Rock gets the upper hand and nails a DDT, nipping straight back up and hitting the spinebuster! Is it time… PEOPLE’S ELBOW! But Undertaker sits up and goozles Rock, only for Rock to low blow him right in front of the referee. Taker reverses a whip and grabs Rock by the throat again, and connects with a Chokeslam! 1, 2, but Rock kicks out! Taker heads out of the ring and sits on his bike, before grabbing the referee and sending him into the ringsteps. Hilarity ensues as he can’t find the lead pipe he’s looking for “you should’ve bought a Harley!” – crowd. Taker finds his pipe and heads to the ring, but Ric Flair runs down to try and intervene, but Taker big boots him in the skull! Taker heads back into the ring and aims to hit Rock with the pipe, but Rock takes him down and locks in the Sharpshooter! The referee is back in, but here comes Vince McMahon to distract The Rock, who releases the hold and heads over to bring Vince into the ring. Spit punch to Vince! Taker attacks Rock from behind and sets up for the Tombstone, but Flair comes in and nails Taker with the pipe! Taker staggers back… ROCK BOTTOM! Rock covers, 1, 2, 3! Vince can’t believe it, Flair heads backstage with Taker’s lead pipe in his hand, and The Rock celebrates. Too long, horrible overbooked finish, the preceding 12 minutes were absolutely dire. More restholds than I’ve ever seen in one of Rock’s matches, including that ridiculously long bearhug. **

 

[Crippler]

WWF No Way Out 2002 - #1 Contenders Match: Triple H vs. Kurt Angle

Triple H won the 2002 Royal Rumble after overcoming eight months of rehabilitation on a torn quad. Kurt Angle, who was runner-up, was not pleased about this, and began attacking HHH to prove he was better than him. Vince McMahon gave Angle the opportunity to fight for the #1 Contendership at WrestleMania at this at No Way Out. And then it got ugly. Stephanie announced to the world that she wanted to renew her wedding vows to Triple H. HHH refused. Stephanie countered by telling HHH she was pregnant, which made HHH very happy. Stephanie hired a fake doctor to confirm the news, until ARN 'FUCKING' ANDERSON delivered a video tape to HHH. The video was from Linda McMahon, and showed that the doctor was in fact an actor. The wedding vows went ahead, but HHH called her a “no good lying bitch” and destroyed the wedding set and Pedigreed Vince McMahon. Stephanie then inserted herself as the special guest referee, and thus we have this match.

Stephanie enters first in a referee’s shirt that certainly enhances her… curves. She demands Howard Finkel announce her as “Stephanie McMahon” instead of “Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley”. Angle out next to the “You Suck” chants, and HHH’s entrance wastes 2 minutes and 23 second of my life. Stephanie shows HHH her referee badge as Angle starts some roll-up with fast counts from Steph, who then doesn’t count a HHH roll-up. Angle attacks HHH in the corner with Stephanie cheerleading, but HHH comes out with a choke takedown, and stomps a mudhole in Angle to loud WHAT? chants. HHH turns an arm wringer into a clothesline, and the crowd start chanting “take your shirt off”. That’s a new one. Angle goes for a clothesline, but HHH ducks and he takes Stephanie out! Timekeeper Mark Yeaton asks for a new referee, whilst in the ring HHH back drops Angle and sends him over the top rope as well. HHH laughs at Stephanie’s pain, but Angle heads back to the ring and unleashes some chops, but HHH telegraphs Angle and hits a neckbreaker. Tim White is our new referee and he counts a near fall. HHH waves goodbye to Stephanie as she is taken away, and gives Angle a ten punch combo in the corner. Angle ducks a clothesline though and begins the rolling German suplexes, HHH blocks a third, but it’s not enough and Angle connects with it. Angle gets two from a cover, and stomps HHH out of the ring. Back in, and Angle connects with a back elbow for another two count, but an “Angle Sucks” chant distracts him , and HHH is able to take control, only to walk into a belly to belly suplex from Angle for another two count. Another belly to belly gets a 2 count, and then a third belly to belly gets a third two count in quick succession. Angle stomps HHH whilst he’s down, and when HHH is back up Angle locks in a sleeper hold. It’s locked in for a whole minute until HHH tries to free himself, and eventually does so, but Angle unleashes a series of right hands to keep in control. HHH manages to overpower him though and hits a powerbomb out of the corner, and both men are down. HHH wins a slugfest when they’re both back up, and connects with a high knee to Angle. Angle tries to charge HHH, but HHH reverses it to a spinebuster for a two count. HHH then telegraphs Angle and hits a facebuster for another two count. Angle heads out of the ring to back away from HHH, then attacks Tim White. HHH hits a neckbreaker, but the referee is out again, and Angle takes advantage to hit a blatant low blow. Angle Slam! And here comes Stephanie! Angle covers, but can only get two counts as Stephanie isn’t counting fast. But then, THE STRAPS COME DOWN! ANKLE LOCK! But HHH sends Angle into Stephanie, and we have our third ref bump. HHH nails Angle with a DDT, but there’s no referee again. Tim White’s back up, but Angle kicks HHH into him and we have ANOTHER ref bump. German Suplex from Angle on HHH, and Angle heads outside to grab a steel chair. HHH ducks a chair shot and nails a PEDIGREE! HHH covers, Tim White is getting back in, but Stephanie drops an elbow on him when he reaches two! Low blow from Stephanie to Tim White! Ref bump number FIVE! HHH stares Stephanie down, Stephanie points to her breasts/referee badge, but HHH goes to Pedigree her! Angle is back up though with the chair, and WHACKS HHH in the back! Another shot to the head and HHH is out! Angle poises, and nails an Angle Slam on HHH! Cover by Angle, and Stephanie counts the three! Angle and Stephanie celebrate up the ramp as HHH dribbles in the ring. JR is not happy, but Lawler is happy that Angle is going to WrestleMania! That, of course, set up Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho at WrestleMania. BWAHAHAAH! Nah, Hunter beat Angle just after this, rendering the whole thing moot. The match was fine, but it also showed that Angle was just some scrub and that the *real* feud that the WWF cared about was between Hunter and Stephanie. **1/2

 

[Crippler]

WWF No Way Out 2002 - WWF Undisputed Title: Chris Jericho vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin

They flip each other off to let one another know where they stand. Austin chases Jericho around the ring, and they chop it out… FOREVER! Austin clotheslines him over the top and adds some chops of his own. Jericho sidesteps him and sends Austin into the post, though. They brawl up the aisle to the trucks, and Jericho gets sent into one of the trailers. Back to the ring, Austin crotches Jericho and delivers THREE SUPERPLEXES! Remember when one of those used to be Barry Windham's finisher? Austin only gets two. Jericho goes low to cut off Austin's momentum. More chops, and Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho. Austin blocks, and they brawl on the floor. That goes nowhere, so Jericho tosses him back in and hits a Lionsault. That sets up a bad sleeper from Jericho. Well, that's just flawed from formula. He tries a leapfrog but gets powerslammed. Undeterred, Jericho hits a pair of Lionsaults, one of them actually good. Austin posts him, but Jericho no-sells. He's no-selling on an Undertaker-ish level. Jericho counters the Thesz Press to the Walls of Jericho. Austin makes the ropes, so Jericho grabs the belt. The ref gets bumped as he tries to take it away from him. Austin spinebusters Jericho on the belt for two, and Jericho hits the Breakdown on the belt for two of his own. The ref gets bumped again, this time off a missed Jericho clothesline. Austin applies the Walls of Jericho, but there's no ref. Stunner, but there's no ref. The nWo runs in and gets their asses kicked by Austin. Finally, the numbers (and Scott Hall's alkie breath) overwhelm him. That allows Jericho to get the win. But we’re not done here, because the nWo head back into the ring and start taking turns assaulting Stone Cold. Austin fights back at Hall, but Nash and Hogan swiftly take care of that. Hall hits another one of his Stunners, and Hogan heads under the ring to get some… spray-paint! Hall takes the cans as Nash and Hogan stretch him out, and he sprays nWo on Austin’s back. Well it looks like nWc because Austin’s tights get in the way. The nWo head backstage, and the show goes off the air!. A solid match, if nothing spectacular throughout. The constant chopping got a bit repetitive after a while, but there were some decent nearfalls to keep people guessing. The nWo’s interference at the end wasn’t great, particularly as they didn’t do that much to warrant Austin lying down for over 15 seconds. ***1/4