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The lights go down and a single explosion is set off at the top of the stage. Fireworks streak upwards, spelling out the name GMMWF as the crowd goes wild.
The announcer is in the centre of the ring and holds up his microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first ever GMMWF event...TIM TEBOW IS THE ANTI-CHRIST!!!! Well he is you know. Let's get this shit started!"
The two face off in a battle of speed vs. technical skill. Brunzell continually frustrates Zangiev by eluding his various attempts at slapping on submission holds and manages to get in a lot of quick offense. At one point he hits an incredible missile dropkick which sends Zangiev sprawling out of the ring. Zangiev gets back in and is none too pleased and quickly catches Brunzell with a spinebuster. He clamps on an Ice Pick submission move and Brunzell eventually passes out. The referee awards the match to Zangiev but he refuses to let go until he is finally disqualified, giving the win to Brunzell. Zangiev is furious and slaps the hold on Brunzell again but eventually the Rock and Roll Express come out to make the save. Zangiev shouts that this isn't over as he storms to the back. Brunzell eventually comes to and thanks Gibson and Morton for helping him out. He tries to speak but collapses again and the Express carries him out to the back.
The announcer is in the ring with his microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the time has come to reveal the first of our four pools designed to crown the first ever Grand Champion of the GMMWF! The first round will be a series of round robin contests, with the top two from each pool advancing to a tournament which will be held at a future event. Here then are the members of the first group, Ric Flair...."
Flair comes out to his music and jaws at the crowd. He has a microphone with him and raises it....
"WOOO! The Nature Boy is here to style and profile all over this joint. I don't think I have to tell you how great I am but in case you missed it, I'm great. In fact, I'm so great they might as well just give the title to me now, but I don't mind working for it since I know its gonna' be mine eventually. To be the man, you gotta' beat the man, and none of you are good enough to beat me. WOOOOO!"
The announcer speaks again...
"Next up in Pool A, William Regal...."
Regal comes out to his "Man's Man" theme, though he is dressed in his proper attire as opposed to the flannel shirt. He grabs the mic from the announcer...
"Flair, cut out the rambling and the inanity. Everyone here knows that if anyone is to be the first champion here its going to be me. After all, I've succeeded at everything else I've ever done, so why should this be any different? You're all on notice, I'm going to twist and turn you until you can't feel anything and are begging me to stop...and that's when I'm going to really start the hurting."
Regal hands the mic back to the announcer...
"And next up, The Destroyer....."
The Destroyer comes out and snatches the mic from the announcer. He looks at Flair and Regal, hold the mic up and then simply laughs and hands it back to the announcer, who looks a little fearful of the masked man.
"And the last participant in Pool A, Kevin Von Erich...."
The fans cheer wildly as Kevin comes running out and hops over the top rope and into the ring. He politely asks the announcer for the mic.
"I just want to say thanks to all you wonderful people for believing in me and man are we gonna' show these guys why its always better in Texas!"
He hands the mic back to the announcer and the four men leave one by one. The Destroyer eyes Flair very closely before leaving the ring and though his expression remains stoic one can't help but get the feeling he's thinking devious thoughts.
This match starts off a little fun, as Moxley tries to avoid Smiley's repeated advances. At one point, Smiley pinches Moxley's butt and Moxley responds by running out of the ring and trying to wipe it off with his jacket. Once he gets back in, Smiley goes for some nifty holds and gets Moxley into a chinlock before kissing his forehead. Moxley is clearly taken off his game by Smiley's antics and misses a blind charge into the corner, opening up a big cut on his forehead. Eventually Smiley scores the pin with a small package but as he is celebrating Moxley beats him down, drags him out to the floor and smashes a chair over his head. Afterwards, Moxley cuts a promo from the back...
"I'm disgusted at that, that, fruit Smiley trying to put his filthy little hands on me. He got what he deserved and so will anyone else that tries to stand in my way. I'm here to prove that I'm the best, and that's just what I'm gonna' do. So all you saps consider yourself warned, Moxley is the man, the man that's going to taste your blood as he's beating the holy hell out of you."
Bam Bam Bigelow is out to the cheers of the crowd. Though Bigelow has only recently appeared in the GMMWF he has quickly developed a large fan following. He takes a mic from the girl at ringside and speaks...
"You wanna' know something? Since I've gotten here, people have been treating me great, and I want to thank all of you for it. I want to prove your faith in me has not been unfounded, and while I couldn't secure a spot in the tournament, I promise to do everything I can to get into the title scene and take that belt home to Asbury Park baby! So with that being said, I can't help but think I've got some big mountains to climb here, and the biggest one of them all is Andre. Andre, if you're back there, get out here because I've got something I need to say to you."
The crowd roars with approval at the mention of the name Andre. The Giant slowly makes his way out to the ring and the noise is deafening. Andre truly is one of the largest men who ever lived and the fans are awed by his mere presence. He steps into the ring and brandishes a microphone.
"What can I do for you boss?"
Bigelow looks at him for a few moments before speaking.
"You can give me a match, right here, tonight, in front of all these awesome people, that's what you can do for me."
"You want to fight me? Why?"
"Because you're the biggest and toughest guy out here, a guy I've always looked up to and respected, and I would consider it a great honour to step in the ring and find out if there's a few new tricks I can show you."
"I'm not an old dog, you can't teach me anything, but I can teach you something. I can teach you what it means to conquer your fear. Standing up to me is just one step, let's see how you deal with it in the ring Mr. Bigelow. You're on boss, you've got your match."
The crowd roars its approval as Bigelow and Andre stare at each other.
At the start of the match, the Army is quickly frustrated at not being able to get their hands on Dos, who niftily escapes several power moves. He tags in Uno who has a good showing and even manages to get Kawada into an abdominal stretch. Unfortunately Kawada manages to power out of it and hits a running lariat which sends Uno to the floor. Outside, Mr. Fuji hits Uno with his cane but Dos comes over and levels Fuji, knocking his bowler hat off. Taue manages to pick up Uno from out of the ring and hits him with a lariat on the apron. As Uno is falling down Kawada kicks him in the head and the force sends him over the top rope and back into the ring. Taue hits a nasty piledriver for the win. Afterwards, Mr. Fuji gets into the ring with them and pulls out a mic.
"Heh heh, yes, you see now the power of my Holy Demon Army. Soon the rest of the GMMWF will shake in fear at the sight of them. Who knows who will be next? Maybe you...heh heh heh."
The announcer is out again.
"It's now time to introduce Pool B, and the first member of that pool is none other than Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat."
Ricky Steamboat comes out as the fans go wild. He's carrying his Komodo Dragon to the ring with him but thankfully he ties it to the ringpost. He pulls out a mic and speaks to the crowd.
"I'm here for one thing and one thing only. That's to come away with that Championship belt and prove myself as the best. I know the competition will be tough, but I also know I can count on all my little dragons out there for support."
The crowd cheers with loving approval as the announcer speaks again.
"And the next participant in Pool B, "Cowboy" Bob Orton."
Orton comes out with a cast on his arm and the crowd boos him heavily, He gets into the ring, smirks at Steamboat and grabs a mic.
"First of all, I haven't even been cleared to wrestle because of this horrific injury. I don't know why I can't just get a bye into the tournament itself considering how good I am. I'll tough it out, but if someone gets hit with this cast, its not my fault."
The announcer holds up his mic again.
"And the third participant in Pool B, Horst Hoffman."
The crowd boos as Hoffman comes out and sneers at them. He gets in the ring, picks up the mic and proceeds to smash Orton's cast with it. Orton hits the ground writhing in pain. Hoffman speaks.
"That's just a taste Orton, and as for you Steamboat, I can't wait to uppercut you into next year. I'm going to kill all of you. Night."
Hoffman throws the mic at the announcer and leaves the ring. Fans mercilessly taunt him as he heads to the back but he simply flips them off.
"And our final participant in Pool B, Kerry Von Erich."
The female fans literally blow the roof off the arena as Kerry comes out. He quickly jumps into the ring and shakes hands with Steamboat. Orton is still on the floor in pain. Kerry grabs the mic.
"Thanks ladies, I'm glad you're all behind me. Dragon, I look forward to locking up with you, and may the better man win." Von Erich extends his hand and Steamboat shakes it. Von Erich speaks again.
"But as for you Orton, I'm going to show you just what a real cowboy can do, and Hoffman, I'm sick of your attitude. I think I'm just going to punch you into the next decade!"
Von Erich puts the mic down and he and Steamboat leave while chatting. Orton finally gets up and heads to the back but not before spitting at the fans.
Jack brings his crocodile to the ring and puts it in a cage. He then puts the key around the chain on his neck that also features the ear of the local jobber he cut a few weeks back. Jack kisses the ear for luck and yells at the fans. Sgt. Slaughter comes out to a huge cheer and the two are on each other before the bell. They spill to the outside and both men are bleeding within two minutes. Slaughter grates Jack's head against the steel barricade and blood pours out. Jack manages to grab his knife and he gashes Slaughter's head. He actually slips on the blood that spills from that which allows Slaughter to grab the crocodile cage and smash Jack over the head with it. He tosses Jack back into the ring and Jack again goes for the knife. Slaughter wrests it free and uses the butt end of it to put Jack into the Cobra Clutch. Jack eventually submits but as soon as the match is over he blindsides Slaughter and knocks him out. He grabs the croc out of the cage and heads into the crowd, menacing them until Slaughter makes it out there and the two brawl to the back. This one appears to be far from over.
The announcer is back in the ring and he holds up his microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, its now time to reveal the wrestlers in Pool C. First up, Harley Race."
Race comes out to a mixed reaction. One fan throws a cup of beer at him and he simply glares at him. He enters the ring and grabs the mic from the announcer.
"I'm a bad man, yes I am, and I've done some very bad things. In fact, I've done some bad things today, and I'll continue to do some bad things tomorrow. Most important though, I'm going to do some very bad things to the three unfortunate souls who are drawn into this pool with me. I relish the opportunity to damage not only their bodies, but their souls as well. You see, when I'm done with them, they'll be broken, physically and spiritually, because I'm a man of my word, and my word is pain."
Race hands the mic back to the announcer.
"And the next man in, Bob Backlund."
Backlund comes out and is showered in boos. He gets in the ring and takes the mic.
"Race, you suck. Your pitiful little threats don't scare me, nor do the other two saps in this pool. Obviously I'm the best wrestler in this entire federation, so it should come as no surprise that I would be the odds on favourite to win this entire thing. You won't stop me, nobody will, because I am a fanatic fox. I don't really know what I mean when I say I'm a fanatic fox, but I do know that I am one, and you people better get used to it."
Backlund hands the mic back to the announcer.
"And the third man in Pool C, Nick Bockwinkel."
Bockwinkel comes out and gets booed even more heavily than Backlund. He stops and checks out two attractive women at ringside before getting into the ring. Bockwinkel grabs the microphone from the announcer.
"Pfft. You two guys aren't man enough to hold my jock strap. All the ladies know that I'm the best around, in the ring and in the bedroom, and I'll prove it to all of you when we next meet."
Backlund shakes his head and heads over to the corner, grabs another mic and speaks.
"I don't know about Race, but you aren't going to be proving anything to me in the bedroom."
Bockwinkel looks enraged and speaks.
"You know what I meant Backlund."
Backlund laughs and speaks again.
"Yeah, that you wanted me and Race in the bedroom. Not sure why you want that but I can guarantee you its not going to happen."
Race finally walks over, grabs the mic from Backlund's hand and speaks.
"Ladies, ladies, stop your bitching, I'm kind of interested to see who our final competition is."
Race hands Backlund's mic back to the announcer.
"Alright, the final participant is David Von Erich."
The fans go crazy as the Yellow Rose of Texas comes out. He gets into the ring, grabs the mic from the announcer and stares at Race, Backlund and Bockwinkel for a moment. Then he raises the mic.
"Fuck you all"
Von Erich leaps at Race while Backlund and Bockwinkel attack each other. Soon all four men are brawling all the way to the back.
This is a great big man match that sees Andre maul Bigelow on several occasions only to see Bigelow valiantly fight back. He uses his surprising speed to dazzle Andre and even hits a flying headbutt that sends the Giant to the canvas. Bigelow picks him up and attempts a slam but his back gives out and Andre falls on top. Rather than pin him, Andre picks him up and motions for him to attack. Bigelow does but is met with a huge Andre chop that sends him staggering. He retaliates and is soon chopping the hell out of Andre and actually knocks him down again. Bigelow heads up and attempts a top rope headbutt but he's met with an Andre boot on the way down. Andre uses a side suplex and covers Bigelow for the pin. After the match, Andre helps Bigelow up and raises his hand as the crowd roars their approval for the two big men. Bam Bam Bigelow may have lost this battle, but he gained the respect of the Giant, and that has to count for something.
The Islanders are out in the ring and Tama speaks for the two.
"We may be new here, and we may be young, but we just want you to know that we're ready for anything. We want to make a real impression here on all you great fans, and we know just...
Tama is cut off by Bob Backlund who appears from the back with The Destroyer, Horst Hoffman and Victor Zangiev. Backlund speaks.
"Listen, we don't care about what you have to say. What you need to learn is that we're the top guys around here. Myself, the Destroyer, the Hoff and the, the Russian. Yeah, that's right, the Russian. Heh heh, we're the Surgeons. You want to know why?"
Tama doesn't look too pleased and speaks.
"Why? Tell me it doesn't have anything to do with proctology."
Backlund's face turns a bright red and his eyes bug out of his head.
"WHAT?!?! You dare insult the Surgeons? Well that's it, I don't know who you think you are but you're in for a trip to the clinic right now. Hoff, Destroyer, get in there and give them a prescription in pain."
Hoffman and The Destroyer run down to the ring and jump in. They go toe to toe with the Islanders in a major brawl. Haku in particular makes a good showing and even gets several shots in on Hoffman while also cutting him with a well timed headbutt. Backlund and Zangiev hurry down to the ring to lend support and the numbers prove to be overwhelming. They beat down the Islanders and then leave laughing.
These two teams get into it right away as there is clearly no love lost between them. Morton gets caught by a Lane clothesline and dragged into the Midnight's corner. Eaton and Lane continue to work him over for a few minutes while Gibson furiously tries to get the crowd to cheer for Morton to recover. Finally the Midnight's miss a double clothesline and Morton retaliates with a pair of dropkicks. He makes the hot tag to Gibson who comes in like a house on fire and clears the ring of Lane and Eaton. He grabs Eaton and goes for a slam but Lane reaches in and trips him up and then holds onto his leg while the ref counts to three. After the match, Gibson and Morton complain to the ref to no avail while the Midnight's run to the back laughing. Gibson gets on the mic and speaks.
"I don't know where you guys come off cheating like that but we aren't going to stand for it. We want you next show and you better accept or we're coming to your homes to find you and make you accept."
The announcer is back in the ring and he holds up his microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, its now time to reveal the wrestlers in Pool D. First up, Terry Funk."
The crowd cheers as Funk makes his way down to the ring. He heads in and grabs the microphone.
"I'm not quite stable so I think I'll just let my actions speak for me."
Funk then slaps himself in the face a couple of times and then sits in the corner.
The announcer heads over and takes the mic back from Terry. He then speaks again.
"And the second entrant, Andre the Giant."
The crowd roars as their beloved Giant makes his way to the ring, steps over the ropes and enters. He takes the mic from the announcer.
"I consider it an honour and a privilege to be here in the GMMWF and I will do everything I can to bring home that title."
He hands the mic back to the announcer as the fans cheer. The announcer speaks again.
"And the third man in this pool, Necro Butcher."
Necro comes running out and heads into the ring, quickly grabbing the mic from the announcer.
"Enough of this crap. Get the hell out here last man, I've got something to say to you."
Abdullah the Butcher comes out but before he can even get near the ring Necro runs straight into him and the two brawl into the crowd. Andre and Funk stand in the ring eyeing each other but do not speak. They slowly shake hands and Funk heads to the back, leaving Andre in the middle as the fans cheer. Abdullah and Necro spill out into the concession stand area where Abdullah's trusty fork makes an appearance and carves up Necro's face. Necro gets a hold of some tabasco sauce and pours it into Abdullah's eyes. Security finally manages to separate them. If this is any indication, their match is not going to be for the squeamish.
These two teams destroy each other with high impact death moves that make the fans cringe and cheer at the same time. Gordy and Williams blade, Hansen and Brody bite the wounds. Hansen headbutt's Gordy and blood flies everywhere. He hits the lariat on Williams and Brody follows with a massive legdrop but Doc kicks out. They spill out to the floor and continue to brawl as the time runs out. They keep brawling to the back and out into the parking lot, where they take out several cars in their fight. Suddenly Outback Jack and Sgt. Slaughter appear as they are also still brawling from earlier in the night. Brody howls in pain as we pull back and see that Jack's crocodile has a hold of his foot and is gnashing away at it. Hansen grabs the croc, pulls it off and lariats it to the floor. Jack heads over and starts pounding on Hansen but Brody grabs Jack and suplexes him onto the hood of a nearby car and then collapses in pain from his foot injury. The police finally show up and Jack and Slaughter somehow end up in the same car. This is not good for the car as soon the back window shatters and we see Jack's head hanging out. Slaughter is choking him with his handcuffs and the police finally use a stun gun to stop him. Meanwhile, Hansen and Brody have brawled with Williams and Gordy all the way back into the arena and the crowd goes nuts when they come through the curtain. Williams hits a Tiger Driver on Hansen while Gordy hits his patented DDT on Brody. The Miracle Violence Connection stand tall, though they look like they've been in more than one war.
A 45 minute classic that sees Race and Funk spill out to the floor and trade headbutts and chops while inside Steamboat and Flair are murdering each other. At one point, Steamboat chops Flair so hard he does a Flair Flop from the ring apron to the floor. Outside, Race and Funk brawled through the crowd. Race goes for a headbutt and misses, accidentally hitting a fan. Funk picks the fan up off the ground and throws him at Race. The two brawl back to the ring area but both are taken out when Funk attempts a neckbreaker The end comes when Steamboat hits a cross body on Flair from the top but Flair rolls through for the pin. Afterwards, Race and Steamboat start fighting with each other while Funk hits the ring and attacks Flair. Suddenly Bob Backlund and the rest of the Surgeon's come running out and slap each of the four men into various submission holds. Some of the staff and security try to get them out but the Surgeon's refuse to let go. Finally, Andre the Giant and Bam Bam Bigelow come down to the ring and clean house while the fans go wild. The end of the show sees Bigelow and Andre helping Steamboat to his feet. Steamboat in turn goes and helps Flair up and even though they are the most bitter of rivals one can see they have a unified hatred of Backlund and the rest of the Surgeon's.
What will happen at the next GMMWF PPV? You'll have to tune in to find out but one thing's sure, the bar has been set high. How will they top it? Find out at the next show,
Short Results
Jim Brunzell defeated Victor Zangiev via DQ
Norman Smiley defeated Jon Moxley via Pinfall
The Holy Demon Army defeated The Conquistadors via Pinfall
Sgt. Slaughter defeated Outback Jack via Submission
Andre the Giant defeated Bam Bam Bigelow via Pinfall
The Midnight Express defeated The Rock 'N' Roll Express via Pinfall
The Miracle Violence Connection and Stan Hansen & Bruiser Brody fought to a No Contest.
Ric Flair defeated Ricky Steamboat, Harley Race and Terry Funk when he pinned Steamboat.
