Alright, I'm gonna book Extreme Rules the way it should go down. I already made an attempt before in another thread (
http://thewrestleclub.com/showthread.php?p=22949#post22949), but since Wrestlemania went (much) differently than I expected, I'm gonna do this month. I don't have the time to go through the weeklies, but, I mean, you can guess what I'm gonna do there by seeing the PPV lineup.
So, without further ado....
My mission: Create a lineup for Extreme Rules that keeps the hot feuds going, moves the right guys into new ones, entertains the fans, and doesn't fall into that lazy trap of just doing a bunch of Wrestlemania rematches.
MATCH #1: Six-pack challenge! John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Zach Ryder vs. Sin Cara
Evan Bourne wins in 10 minutes.
You know how to help develop the young guys? Put them on TV! So I'm going to borrow from ROH and do an opener 6-man. Let's have some of the more athletic guys in the company bounce around and get the fans fired up. I also love Evan Bourne and would love to push him up into an underdog U.S. title feud with Sheamus. So let's start his little push into that.
MATCH #2: Tag Team Title Triple Threat: Big Show/Kane vs. Santino/Kozlov vs. The Corre
Big Show/Kane win the titles in 8 minutes.
I'm going with the flow here. You waste an opportunity to make the Corre look good at Wrestlemania? Sure, I'll keep the losing thing going, I'll turn it into an angle where Barrett keeps winning by "strokes of luck" and the others go on losing streaks. Some animals are more "equal" than others, aren't they? Show/Kane is fun and I'd like those guys on both shows just fucking around.
MATCH #3: CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan wins by small package in 13 minutes.
Fuck yeah. Since CM Punk's obviously Raw's new Chris Jericho, he can afford to take this shocking loss. We can turn it into something, with both Orton (who's out injured) and Bryan getting last-second wins in back to back months. The fans better be loving this goddamned show by now.
MATCH #4: Triple Threat Women's Title Match: Eve vs. Beth Phoenix vs. ???
The mystery opponent (Awesome Kong) wins in 5 minutes.
Booyah. Laycool and Vickie come out after the match and celebrates with their new teammate. Hell, Cole joins in.
MATCH #5: Kofi Kingston vs. Ezekiel Jackson (with Wade Barrett in Zeke's corner)
If Kofi wins, he gets a title shot on Smackdown.
Kofi Kingston wins by DQ in 10 minutes.
Ezekiel dominates this match. Just as Kofi starts his comeback, Wade Barrett gets involved, perhaps unnecessarily, for the DQ. Another Corre member loses! Don't worry, Wade's going to win the title match in a couple of weeks. Wink.
MATCH #6: Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio (No Disqualification)
Rey Mysterio wins in 18 minutes.
AND THIS is the match that gets the No DQ stip this PPV was named for. Hell yes, Cody's getting pushed. Rey wins by turning Cody's dirty tactics around on him. We need a face win here, because it's gonna start getting heel heavy. And Cody can afford to go 1-1 against Rey.
MATCH #7: Sheamus vs. HHH
Sheamus wins by DQ in 22 minutes.
This is what I'm doing to HHH, and yes, it's punishment for his "there's nobody left in the locker room for me to beat" speech. Everything HHH threw at Taker wasn't enough to keep him down. Was it because of Taker's superpowers? Not totally. Sheamus pulls the same trick. He kicks out of a Pedigree. He kicks out of a sledgehammer spot. Out of frustration, HHH blatantly gets himself DQed. This can turn into either a "sad sack" angle for HHH or an awesome heel turn, based on the fact that he can't do it by himself anymore. Either way, I'm feeding him to young guys. I'm sure he wouldn't veto this angle, right?
MATCH #8: Triple Threat for the WHC: Edge vs. Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio
Alberto Del Rio wins the title in 28 minutes.
This writes itself. I'd have put the belt on ADR at Wrestlemania. One more month's wait won't hurt. But Smackdown needs a killer heel title run to get some new faces some title shots. Edge does an injury angle thing for a few months (maybe Christian as a mystery attacker) and Christian gets the 1-on-1 shot in May.
MATCH #9: WWE Championship: The Miz vs. John Cena
If John Cena loses, he can't have a title match for ONE YEAR.
Miz wins in 22 minutes.
Miz has no reason to give Cena a rematch, but the rematch has to happen, doesn't it? So let's do the 2 birds/1 stone thing. We get Cena completely out of the title picture, working with younger guys, then the Rock, then the Undertaker. The casuals and kids will be SURE that Cena will win this match. And he'll be in position to, when...
IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLL
plays over the speakers. Rock's not there, it's just his music. Cena is distracted, but Miz isn't. Miz capitalizes, Skull Crushing Finale, kickout, 2nd SCF, pinfall, title retained.
Here's what I'm accomplishing with this result:
1. Miz beats Cena a little cleaner than last time.
2. Cena is out of the title picture, and everyone with a brain will immediately realize that Cena can't have a title match for Summerslam or Wrestlemania...hmm...who could he face? LONG-TERM BUILD BITCHES
3. Rock gets a little bit of heel heat? Look, it's pretty one-sided for the Rock so far in this Rock/Cena feud. I want SOME of these fans rooting for Cena. Rock using cheap tactics (and yes, tipping the Miz off ahead of time)? I think that'll get us closer to the split crowd I want.