Hello everyone this is a special Big Red Review tonight because I rarely do Raw. I'll only do it if I'm live at the show or if I actually have time. Since I'm on break from school and I'm busy tomorrow with my job, I want to make up for not doing Smackdown by doing Raw. I hope you enjoy in what should be an intriguing episode.
Preview
No matches have been announced tonight so it will be loads of surprises. The big story is Brock Lesnar returning which I'm very happy to see. People have given Brock some heat for showing up not as muscular as you would expect, but people forget that he has gone through several illnesses. I'm positive that he will start working out like the animal that he is soon enough and look like a freak. In terms of other news around is a possible tag team with Santino and Brodus Clay. I'm all for it because they have star power and I can see them being champions. CM Punk hates the dirt sheets apparently from his twitter so I expect a promo full of anger tonight. That's always good from Punk and hopefully they continue the progress of the Jericho-Punk angle. Also it will be interesting to see who Lord Tensai faces tonight. I was never crazy about A-Train or Albert or whatever the hell you want to call him back in the day, but I do realize he's a good worker for his size. The only thing is I can think of so many other names off the top of my head that I would love to see return over him. MVP, Carlito, Colt Cabana, John Morrison, Luke Gallows alright I won't ramble on. I'm not sure if we'll get a Rock appearance tonight but I'm sure were going to get a Lesnar appearance. Also I can't forget that tonight is Yes or Die! I'm a big time supporter of Daniel Bryan so hopefully we get to see The American Dragon come and hear the "YES" loudly. Anyway here we go!
Tonight's Raw will be in Washington D.C the home of former champion and former "out for five months" every other year superstar Dave Batista
Watch out he's coming to get you!
Video package of John Cena getting destroyed by Brock Lesnar last week. It was a well done package like usual. Also preview of The Three Stooges which looks beyond lame. Let's get into it.
Johnny Ace and Brock Lesnar unite
Lesnar comes out to a decent pop but nothing crazy. I'm a bit shocked but the crowd can be different. Cole mentions UFC which I'm shocked about because Vince McMahon wants nothing to do with that great company. Lesnar mentions that he wants to bring legitimacy back to the WWE which John said in the first place. Brock doesn't say much because John Cena comes out immediately. Brock was never great on the mic, but I'm still shocked that he has come out so fast. John takes some time but he gets a pretty nice pop considering the last twelve months he has had with the crowd. Cena is smiling for some reason while Lesnar seems angry. The crowd finally starts booing while Lesnar looks baffled. Cena wants to thank him but slaps him! A brawl starts with Lesnar hitting Cena hard in the mouth. It wasn't hard to see that shot but now the locker room is coming out. Bill DeMott sighting is awesome, any Tough Enough fans out there? Anyway the entire locker room is literally out from Mark Henry to Dolph Ziggler to Daniel Bryan (YES). Cena is busted open in the mouth and smiling like a sicko. This is pretty awesome and now Cena goes after Brock again by breaking out of the pack. Sheamus sighting is even there which shows how little the World Heavyweight Title means these days (when do you see that?). Things are finally restored but now Lesnar breaks free somehow! I'm not sure how logically it makes sense but this is a great segment. Daniel Bryan is the main guy to take Lesnar out of the ring because he's Daniel Bryan! Anyway Cena is smiling and the crowd is behind him. I think Lesnar will be a heel now because of how Johnny Ace was so happy to see him. This was a great start to Raw because that slap came out of nowhere. That's the John Cena you want to see being intense and wanting to fight. This segment already beats their entire feud in 2003 when Cena was a heel rapper. At Extreme Rules, it will be Cena against Lesnar which means the buy rate will be huge. They recap that punch that drilled Cena which looked hard. They might be rushing this feud a little bit but let's see how it continues. I'm not going to bash it yet even though they might be dropping the ball by making this happen too early.
We go backstage where John is yelling at Teddy for not keeping order. Johnny's face looks like a cherry because he's absolutely angry. John is all flustered but Eve comes in the room. She wants to talk this week and wants him to call her for some meeting. That should be fun.
Big career moves!
Brodus Clay/Santino Marella vs Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger
I hate the intro to Brodus song. The girls sound like some crap from Nickelodeon in 1998. Santino saves the entrance by dancing himself which is great but Cole immediately kills it with some lame dinosaur jokes. Cole has been improving lately but he's already starting off on the wrong foot. They recap last week when Dolph Ziggler took the bump of the year by taking a head butt from Brodus and landing on the steel ramp. Ziggler really needs to go the main event already, he's too good for the comedy stuff. Dolph messes around at first because he's up against Santino. Santino hits an arm drag then tags in Brodus. Swagger gets tagged in and gets a beating with some knees and punches. Cole makes even worse jokes because he did research on dinosaurs. Lawler decides to join in and I'm close to muting my television screen. Clay goes for a suplex but Swagger elbows out and hits a chop block then a shoulder block on Brodus. We go to break with Brodus down which is a shock.
We love you Bryan Danielson
We are back with Dolph hitting his awesome elbow drop on Santino. Swagger gets tagged in and the commentary booth still is bringing up dinosaur jokes. Swagger has a double arm bar in and they finally shut up. Santino gets out of it and goes for the tag but Swagger hits a spine buster. Ziggler gets tagged in and starts talking trash to Brodus which is great. Santino goes for small package but Dolph gets out of it and hits a nice close line. They mention Dolph was doing sit ups during the break which is shame because that's always great. Brodus gets hot tag and lays out Dolph with some close lines then a head but. Brodus drops him with a fall away slam then gets hit with a huge splash. Swagger is a jerk and doesn't care to break up the pin fall so Brodus wins.
Winners: Brodus Clay & Santino Marella
This was your standard tag match that was okay. It was nothing out of the ordinary which also includes Dolph being the master at selling a move. I'll give it the standard **. Santino brings out the trombone afterwards which is always great.
We go backstage with Johnny Ace and The Miz talking backstage. John says he will reward Miz next week due to the crazy night. Teddy comes in and John is still yelling but then Cena comes in and John looks frightened. The big word is legitimacy these days apparently with Cena still making Rock jokes. Cena still loves this and loves getting violent. John can't believe he got Lesnar but doesn't care and John wants to compete tonight. That's your poster boy, what a great man. David Otunga is the opponent which sounds awful. John yells at Teddy some more as we go to next segment.
Santino is going around looking for Three Stooges. They run into my current favorite tag team of Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins. Santino wants to know if they know where they are but they don't care. I don't care either, just more things to like about this tag team. Santino is on a mission to find them.
Recap of Henry beating up Punk last week and they will have a re match tonight for the title. I'm not sure if I like the booking that is trying to make Punk a super man. I like the rebel way more but will see where this goes. Santino is still looking for the stooges but finds Kane instead. Kane looks at him like Santino is a clown and Santino runs away.
R-Truth vs Cody Rhodes
R-Truth has to be the most underutilized guy on the roster these days. He's so entertaining on the mic but he's been limited to jobber duty. This should be a good match if they give them time but I doubt that happens. Truth does some dancing and hits a close line. Rhodes counters with a punch after Truth went for a back body drop. Cody hits the Alabama Slam on Truth just as Big Show makes his grand appearance with his suit. Show shows a video recapping last week's loss to Kofi. The same thing happens like last week and Truth hits the Little Jimmy? That's what the finisher is called, well it's a jumping STO basically. Truth wins for first time in ages.
Winner: R-Truth
This match was nothing like I expected. If you give these guys ten minutes on Smackdown, it would be great. I wonder what happens with this feud because now Show is getting in the head of Rhodes.
We go backstage and finally The Three Stooges are here. I'm not recapping this crap, this was an awful segment. Instead of watching this, I watched Creative Has Nothing For You from Colt Cabana and Marty DeRosa. You should watch this every Monday because its really creative. Here is the link from tonight's episode. BOOM BOOM!
[video=youtube;9Htx0OqV__8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Htx0OqV__8&list=UUq6_e5klwDUj7XiXHWzJBew&index=1&feature=plcp[/video]
Lord Tensai vs Yoshi Tatsu
The match that determines who is the king of Japan! Alright not really, but this should be cool. Finally a twitter feud being put on TV which is nice to see. Tatsu is annoyed because he feels that Tensai isn't Japan. This won't end well even though I've never seen Tatsu this angry in my life. Tensai hits some chops early on then a leg drop on Tatsu's left arm. Tatsu tries hitting some chops but Tensai hits a upper cut then some head butts. The crowd chants Albert pretty loudly which is funny. Tensai hits a double under hook slam then a seated senton. This squash is getting way too much air time which leads to more loud Albert chants. A few more elbows then a Baldo Bomb (yes old references are needed). This match is over because Yoshi is done.
Winner: Lord Tensai
SQUASH. Well the wrestling has been pretty bad early on. This is why I call Raw a great and entertaining soap opera some time. Tensai puts some mist in the air then clamps down on Tatsu's fore head. The crowd is dead and I'm feeling a bit dead. He's being booked properly but I'm not sure why I wasn't feeling it. I do like the mist though but he could use a different color.
Recap of Jericho being awesome and influencing Punk of the great source of alcohol. The storyline continues to progress which is great to see. Jericho is such an amazing heel on how he can be such an asshole. When he smashed Punk's head with the bottle, it looked gruesome. That's what you need in feuds. In Punk's best feuds, you saw how gruesome it can be. That feud with Rey Mysterio in 2010 was very personal and that's why it was so great. It usually will be a success when the feud gets personal.
CM Punk comes out and doesn't do his usual "It's Clobbering Time". That's a shame because Punk is mad even though he realizes not everyone gets straight edge. That's a even bigger shame because Straight Edge Society is one of my favorite stables ever and they drilled into my head pretty good. Punk didn't do it for friends or trendy because he chose to be straight edge because it's his life. Punk always wanted to keep his straight edge lifestyle private because it has been open up. He goes back to memory lane and talks about how he rose to the top for being the best damn wrestler in the world. The crowd is pretty behind him while Punk is speaking. Jericho is finally mentioned and how Jericho has tried to destroyed his private life. He breaks down all the insults that Jericho has said about his family. Punk reminds people that Jericho tapped out at Mania not just beat him (excellent point). Jericho continues to taking one step way too far which seems to be the correct term for this. Punk recaps last week with whiskey all over him and brings up the international tour coming up if he was going to make it. Punk says he thinks of one thought and thats how he smelled just like his father did. A quick silence by Punk with the crowd chanting his name. His facial expressions are awesome as Punk remembers his childhood with his dad smelling like booze from work. Jericho interrupts him like usual backstage. I'm loving the new Jericho jacket as Jericho wonders if Punk isn't hungover. I'm still wondering why hasn't Punk brought up the infamous DUI incident with Jericho in 2010.
Shane Helms got the wrong end of this.
Jericho talks about the alcohol that Punk consumed and mentions Papa Punk (that sounds creepy). Jericho questions Punk if he's sober or not which is hilarious. Punk gets interrupted because Jericho wants to discuss the twelve steps of recovery from alcoholism. He brings up the crowd as wanna bees which is a shame because they are parasites to me! Jericho continues to dig deeper by calling him CM Drunk which will probably trend in about a minute. Jericho is smiling like the cocky bastard that he is while Punk looks angry. Punk can't be broken because Jericho has now motivated him. Punk is now going to use all his dark memories and kick Jericho's ass. This was a great segment with Punk channeling his inner anger. I'm happy they got a long promo together because it has been needed. Speaking of kicking asses, somebody gon get there ass kicked because Mark Henry is around.
WWE Title Match: CM Punk vs Mark Henry
We are back with the match just beginning and Punk starts going crazy. He hits some high knees then some kicks on Henry. Punk tries a close line but gets laid out by Henry. Punk has a television motor which gets him disqualified. So much for a wrestling match.
Winner by DQ: Mark Henry
The match can't get a rating but at least they are booking Henry strong. I'm happy they are making him dominant again. Punk continues to use the television motor as a weapon but Jericho distracts him. Henry gets up and attacks Punk with the World's Strongest Slam. Jericho has alcohol on him which makes me jealous. Henry hits another WSS on him as he's pissed. Henry is awesome but I'm a bit disappointed they don't get to have a match because last week was pretty awesome match they had. I have no idea what kind of beer Jericho is holding but it doesn't matter because Punk is up and hits some kicks. We have ourselves a brawl until Jericho hits the Code Breaker. It's time to get the booze Jericho!! Jericho says "YOU ARE STUPID" which reminds me of the summer of 2010 when he said that in every match. Jericho starts pouring some beer on Punk while Jericho is screaming "it's all for you"!. Jericho calls him a stupid son of bitch which is awesome! I'm loving this segment, now all we need is Stone Cold to come in and start drinking along with laying a can of whoop ass (I'll stop dreaming). Anyway this is another effective segment with Punk struggling to get up before getting hit with another Code Breaker. I still have no idea what kind of beer is that, for all I know that could be Ginger Ale with a different label. Jericho poses with the WWE title to some good heat. I love this feud, these guys are my favorites of all time. When it comes to trash talking, Jericho is up there with Mark Henry talking trash during segments.
Alberto Del Rio vs Zach Ryder
I'm not a huge Del Rio fan but I do enjoy him in the ring and I like his character. It helps that Ricardo Rodriguez is so awesome which makes me more interested in Del Rio. They show a recap of Del Rio doing his best Eddie Guerrero impression by faking an injury to get the win. Then Sheamus did his best Stone Cold impression by hitting his finisher on a referee. It was a strange main event but effective. This will likely be short as Del Rio is all over Ryder. Del Rio looks extra aggressive with some sharp kicks then a drop kick after a snap mare. Raw is going on tour why can't they go to Croatia? My country is irrelevant sadly but Poland is in there! Del Rio is all over Ryder but gets kneed by the turnbuckle. Ryder hits a Broski Boot which has Zach going crazy. Ryder goes for the Rough Ryder and eats turnbuckle which leads to the cross arm breaker by Del Rio. Ryder taps immediately because he's booked like a wimp.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Not much of a match as Cole calls Alberto Del Rio Smackdown's own. He's on Raw you idiot, Cole isn't having a great night to say the least. I did like Del Rio being more aggressive though. He screamed out destiny before his finisher which is cool as well. I don't think you can complain about Del Rio being back because this guy is a reliable wrestler.
More Stooge nonsense is happening, oh great.
Stooge Crap
The crowd is booing loudly as a Hulk Hogan costume is out. I bet TNA is happy watching this seeing the Hulkster getting more love. Anyway the crowd is booing loudly and I'm wondering if this is Raw 2009 all over again with crappy hosts. Whatever person saves this segment and attacks these clowns will get a top three star for the night. It's that painful please someone save us. Kane comes out and how fitting is that it's one of my top five favorites all time. Thank you Kane for saving this crappy segment. I remember the last time Kane and Hulk Hogan were in a room together, it ended up with Kane doing impressions that was a mark out moment for me as a 8 year old. Anyway the Stooges are running except for the doofus that is dressed as Hulk. Kane choke slams him to the approval of the crowd. Thank you Kane, Washington loves you. Apparently the guy's name is Curly, who cares.
We go backstage with Josh Matthews interviewing the angry Kool Aid man known as Mark Henry. Henry is upset that he's not champion despite winning twice. Henry gets another title match next week with no disqualification and no count outs. He also botches and says he's going for the World Heavyweight Championship. That's not good but I don't like to get on people's cases for things that are easily fixable. Henry has been awesome for the past year. Anyway I'm looking for the match next week, it should be fun, England should be in for a treat. It will be the best thing that happened to England since R-Truth smoked in the building.
Great heel turn, sadly the English didn't approve of this.
Recap of Lesnar Cena segment with Lesnar making Cena bleed. This was a great opener that was over the top in a good way. We go backstage with Brock talking to Matthews. Brock is proud of everything he has done and mentions UFC again. I'm happy to see UFC mentioned because I always think Vince hates that company with so much passion. Brock is proud of all of his accomplishments and that he's happy that he's back. He says Cena can't hold Brock's jockstrap and that he loves beating up his pretty face in. Brock's a definite heel with his bully character. The Brock Lesnar era is here according to Cole, that's cool.
They mention the End Of An Era match because god forbid Triple H isn't mentioned on Raw in any way shape or form. We all know that the match was great but please Mania is over.
John Cena vs David Otunga
Otunga must have used two baby oil bottles before he came in. I remember Otunga main eventing a bit when the Nexus was around and it wasn't pretty. I don't have much hopes here for John Cena against David Mast...I mean Otunga. Now I wouldn't buy Cena's merch because he's not in my top twenty of all time but the new shirt looks pretty good. I'm happy he's embracing the Celtics even though he missed the glory days of Boston two years ago. Cena tells Johnny to get off his GM as the crowd is finally getting loud. The crowd has been mostly dead but it's John Cena damn it! Cena isn't a fan of the oil just like everybody is probably against the oil. Cena is toying with Otunga as I'm realizing that Daniel Bryan isn't going to make an appearance. That saddens me as John continues to pound out Otunga. Cena misses a splash and now Otunga is all over him. A lot of punching and kicking so far, this sure is fun to watch. Otunga hits a big close line then starts flexing because he's beyond ridiculous. I'm a fan of the gimmick but why against Cena? Anyway Otunga hits some more crappy close lines then a shoulder block as I'm struggling to find any interest. A fruity pebbles chant is starting which is lovely. Otunga continues to pose even more which is getting ridiculous. Cena hits his usual moves of doom as he points at Johnny Ace doing the Five Knuckle Shuffle. King says some awful lines on the way during the move because King and Cena are best friends forever. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment to the delight of the crowd and then makes Otunga tap out in the STFU.
Winner: John Cena
This was an ugly main eventer. It wasn't much of a match and Otunga continues to show how awful he is. The guy still hasn't improved since he first debuted in 2009. This was an absolute disaster thankfully Lesnar comes out and hits a low blow on Cena. Brock drops Cena with an F-5 with the psychotic face that I can't remember seeing since 2003. Brock is getting some nice heat which is great. Nice ending to Raw considering how awful that main event was.
Three Stars and Recap
This was a pretty poor Raw. Other than the beginning, Punk-Jericho, and Lesnar hitting the F5 in the end nothing really blew me away. The Stooges are quite possibly the worst guest hosts in history which makes me thankful they stopped that crap as a weekly thing. The wrestling quality was poor tonight with not one match that was better than average. I know Raw isn't the wrestling show but still you would expect to deliver at least one good match. This wasn't a memorable Raw to say the least other than the progression of two major story lines. They barley featured Smackdown and when they did, they did it only for Rhodes-Show. I don't mind it but still no Daniel Bryan or Sheamus makes me upset.
1. John Cena- That slap came out of nowhere. Nobody expected that and it was a mark out moment for me.
2. Chris Jericho/CM Punk- The star system list is a bit fishy with the rankings but both guys were great tonight. Punk cut a damn great promo like usual but Jericho was terrific in his role.
3. Brock Lesnar- He's the big bad bully again. Brock was pretty good tonight and I look forward to him getting more camera time. I loved his facial expression at the end reminded me of 2003 Smackdown.
Honorable mention to Kane for choke slamming that ass clown in the Hogan outfit. Some people think it's a shot at TNA, I don't know about that and I don't think they care.
This was fun to do but I got to admit this was a pretty lackluster show. I'm not sure when I'll be doing this again. I apologize for not doing Smackdown but things come up especially with my brother getting married. You will be getting reviews from No Way Out and the night after because both shows are coming to my town. I'll be doing reviews when I get home along with live reaction of all the chants started and craziness. I hope you enjoyed this and have a good night.
Plugs
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