Assuming

[catlady]

Why do people, including myself (because I have done it), assume things about people based on other experiences with similar people?
An example would be the very common thing many girls/women assume about boys/men - they all lie, they all cheat. The reality of this, is they likely based that off of one or two bad relationships... There is no way of knowing if all men were like that unless you dated all of them.

I can throw in my beliefs to this equation as many other "Christians" had looked down on me, judged me and looked at me in not so nice ways because of my tattoos and my piercings (I only have ears done now, but had lip,eye brow, tongue before). Since when does one's appearance have anything to do with God in that matter? As I have stated before, if you want to be judged, attend a church, apparently that is a very common thing people do to each other there. I choose not to attend any. People also assume I am that way (very judging) because of my beliefs, and I don't agree with judging a person based on anything, including a book. But again, because of a few encounters with people of the same beliefs, people choose to assume this of me... Which leads into...

Another issue I have come across is people assuming I am the same way as the person/people I talk to/are friends with. My cousin is an example of a very "open/free" person, to say it politely... And when we were younger and hung out a lot together, many other girls and boys thought of me that way. They assumed I was like her because I hung out with her. I can go in another direction with another friend, she had a girlfriend in high school... because I hung out with her, people assumed I was a lesbian. As stupid as that sounds, it happened.

I am far from innocent in this as I did this a lot when I was younger, as well. I guess it is a thing younger people do but I see adults doing this all the time (specially my own family). I try not to assume things in general because more often then not, the assumption is wrong. Like the old saying goes, don't judge a book by its cover. I guess this turned into a rant more than anything... lol But regardless... Why do people do this to each other? Is it easier to assume something of someone rather than actually taking the time to get to know them? I can't see it being more rewarding.

TLDR : Why do people assume things about other people based on other experiences with similar people? aka judging a person based on the actions of similar people.

 

[Laura]

Well, it’s perfectly natural to assume things about people based on your own personal experience because in the end your own personal experience is all you have. That’s why it mostly happens with young people, because their experience is limited. Also, bad experiences linger, which is why it can be easy to associate those bad experiences with whatever demographic inflicted them, even after the injury is healed. It’s easy to grow out of, though, all it takes is a little perspective.

Your other point actually has some truth to it. There’s always exceptions, but in general you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. Birds of a feather, etc. Friendship can’t exist without things in common. That said, however, that really only applies to close friends. After all, if your closest friends are sluts then what would you be doing with them unless you were out slutting it up as well? And if that type of behaviour isn’t you, then why hang out with them at all? What would you expect people to think?

But when it comes to casual acquaintances, it’s pretty silly to assume they’re anything alike. It probably only happens when people can picture a scandal along with it, like the gay example you gave. Hang out with a gay person and you must be gay too because “ZOMG I knew it all along!!1!!” But hang out with someone who likes gardening and I doubt anyone would assume you like gardening too, lol.

Anyway, I don’t know. Bottom line, it’s kind of silly to assume anything, I guess.

 

[wils172]

TLDR : Why do people assume things about other people based on other experiences with similar people? aka judging a person based on the actions of similar people.

If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck. Then It's probably a duck.

 

[RoyalRaven]

If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck. Then It's probably a duck.

Unless it's a Coot.

 

[catlady]

Well, it’s perfectly natural to assume things about people based on your own personal experience because in the end your own personal experience is all you have. That’s why it mostly happens with young people, because their experience is limited. Also, bad experiences linger, which is why it can be easy to associate those bad experiences with whatever demographic inflicted them, even after the injury is healed. It’s easy to grow out of, though, all it takes is a little perspective.

Your other point actually has some truth to it. There’s always exceptions, but in general you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. Birds of a feather, etc. Friendship can’t exist without things in common. That said, however, that really only applies to close friends. After all, if your closest friends are sluts then what would you be doing with them unless you were out slutting it up as well? And if that type of behaviour isn’t you, then why hang out with them at all? What would you expect people to think?

But when it comes to casual acquaintances, it’s pretty silly to assume they’re anything alike. It probably only happens when people can picture a scandal along with it, like the gay example you gave. Hang out with a gay person and you must be gay too because “ZOMG I knew it all along!!1!!” But hang out with someone who likes gardening and I doubt anyone would assume you like gardening too, lol.

Anyway, I don’t know. Bottom line, it’s kind of silly to assume anything, I guess.

I liked your response. As for my cousin, I haven't spoken to her or seen her since I was 21. (Going on 5 years)... I guess when you look at it that way, from the outside looking in, I can see why people would assume that of me. I actually tried to keep her in the house or doing things where there are limited amounts of people to kinda get her away from that... Then I would just end up being dragged to parties and left sitting alone till she was done with whatever/who ever she was doing. lol What bothered me the most about that is that I never acted slutty or dressed slutty... I mean I was a tom boy for most of my life... I still wear t-shirts and huge hoodies. I do like to dress up, but I prefer being comfy... And facepalm my second comment... The way I dressed in school likely was the reason people assumed I liked other girls. But again, you can't assume things based on how a person dresses, that is just silly! I honestly just preferred looser fitting clothing because I didn't want people noticing me. But what do I know, I was a slut butt! haha

And yeah... the gardening thing is something that made huge sense to me. Gardening, people see nothing wrong with as a whole. It is the things that people commonly disagree with that are viewed as bad things. It seems people tend to focus on what they don't like about a person, rather then what they do like and this plays heavily into assuming things of people you know, and people you don't know. Either way, I view it as a weakness we all have and a huge contributor to being intolerant to differences.

 

[catlady]

If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck. Then It's probably a duck.

NO! DAMMIT! ITS A CAT! :angry:

 

[wils172]

Unless it's a Coot.

Touché

 

[Mustafar Reginald]

Laura pretty much hit the mark in relation to the general populace so I'm just going to prattle on about my personal feelings/experiences on the subject at hand. For me, I can gladly say I've never thought of anyone as guilty by association. Guess I'm just not programed like that, need something more than just seeing someone hanging out with a slut to condemn said person as a slut. One of my best friends likes to sleep around with different chicks, whereas personally, sex as an activity just doesn't interest me so I never pursue it. As a side note, I think it's a bit more rational to hang out with a slut when you aren't one, just seems like both being active predators could lead into some unnecessary conflicts if both lock on to the same prey. But really, I just don't see why someone's sex life would have anything to do with your friendships with said person (removing UST from the equation of course) but I can say that about plenty of things. I actually kind of prefer that my best friends have a lot of differences from me, makes the conversations more interesting if we both have similar foundations of interest. Like you can accurately assume that we all like video games but what's the point when the three of us generally tend to play and/or like different games? I guess my point there is more that it assuming based on other people can be rather pointless too but my lack of first hand experience here kind of deters me making any real relevant input here so before I start strolling off any further I'm just going to wrap this post up now.

 

[Farooq]

I assumed that this thread was going to be long. I was right. You're welcome :sandow:

 

[Aids Johnson]

Because we are a cynical people, and withing 30 seconds of meeting someone we have already judged them one way or another. It's not as complicated as some people make it out to be. Some people are overly willing to trust others, some people have lived in the real world and are hesitant, it's why we judge people before we meet them, why when you walk up to a girl in a bar she either smiles or frowns.

 

[Dat Kid1]

If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck. Then It's probably a duck.

 

[catlady]