OOC: I never want to write a Cena rap again.
SMACKDOWN! 18th March 2004
The SmackDown theme blares through the arena as the crowd cheers, the camera panning all around them. As the music fades, the commentary team of Michael Cole and Tazz come in and hype tonight’s events, briefly recapping last Sunday’s WrestleMania.
***NO CHANCE IN HELL***
This IS a surprise. So much so, that the crowd all rise to their feet once again and cheer the sudden arrival of the boss, the chairman, as MR. MCMAHON struts onto the stage. He takes in the cheers from the crowd for a moment, clad in a dark suit. Mr McMahon strides down the ramp and takes a microphone from a production staff member. Once in the ring, he takes a moment before finally speaking.
Mr. McMahon: WELCOME TO SMACKDOWN!
The crowd cheers again. McMahon adjusts his tie and raises the microphone.
Mr. McMahon: Now, I know what you are all wondering here tonight. Why is Mr. McMahon here? Well, I’ll tell you why the hell I’m here. Because I have something big in store. You’re all wondering what that might be, right? Well, I think it’s time to start fresh, and when it comes to doing what’s best for business, nobody–and I mean nobody–does it better than me!
He pauses, allowing the crowd to react, some booing, some cheering.
Mr. McMahon: I THINK IT’S ABOUT TIME WE SHAKE THINGS UP AROUND HERE!
Huge pop.
Mr. McMahon: And that’s why, starting right after RAW’s Backlash, we’re going to shake things up yet again with the return of the WWE Draft!
Another pop.
Mr. McMahon: That’s right! With a slight twist. Instead of a one night production, the draft will stretch across three weeks, with each show drafting one superstar each night!
Pop.
Mr. McMahon: And during this time, the respective General Manager's of each brand are able to trade Superstars at any time. For three weeks, we’re going to see superstars switching brands, new faces showing up on RAW, new faces showing up on SmackDown, and each and every one of you will get to witness the chaos, the surprises, and the excitement that only the draft can bring!
Huge pop.
Mr. McMahon: This is a new era for World Wrestling Entertainment, and by the time this draft is over, both brands are going to have rosters that will blow your minds. And–
Suddenly, the lights in the arena dim, and a familiar, strange sounding type of organ music fills the arena.
All eyes turn to the stage where PAUL BEARER can be seen slowly walking out. A sinister smile spreads across his pale face as he walks down the ramp, joining Mr. McMahon in the ring and raising a microphone to his lips, leaving McMahon too stunned to respond.
Paul Bearer: Ohhh yesssssssss! Mr. McMahon, you stand there, talking about the future of this here, World Wrestling Entertainment, about allllllll of your big plans… but you seeeeeeeem to have forgotten about your own past, haven’t you?
Bearer takes a step closer and as he does this, the lights flicker off then back on.
Paul Bearer: Mr. McMahon, I haven’t forgotten. Heeeeee hasn’t forgotten. The night you did the unthinkable. The night when you buried my Undertaker alive, thinking he would never return.
McMahon seems to have clocked on as he looks around the arena.
Paul Bearer: Ohhh yesssssss! Mr. McMahon, do you hear that?
The sound of rumbling can be heard all around the arena then a sudden lightning strike hits the stage, and then…
GONG…
The lights go out completely, plunging the arena into darkness, all the while Bearer continues to speak.
Paul Bearer: Ohhhhh yessss, Mr. McMahon! He’s here! And he hasn’t forgotten what you did!
Another bolt of lightning hits the stage, illuminating the silhouette of The Undertaker, his hat pulled low over his eyes, his long coat flowing behind him, and then his music begins to play and the lights come up into a dark blue tone.
McMahon looks utterly terrified while Bearer watches on with a twisted satisfaction.
The Undertaker steps inside the ring, his eyes locked onto the WWE Chairman, and as the lights go on fully, The Deadman takes his hat off, revealing milky white eyes.
McMahon stumbles back into the corner, still with a microphone in hand.
Mr. McMahon: Now, Undertaker, hold on a minute! Bearer, tell him, just tell him for a second! Let’s talk about this–
Before McMahon can finish his plea, The Undertaker wraps his hand around McMahon’s throat, cutting off his words. The crowd erupts as Undertaker lifts McMahon effortlessly, holding him high above the mat for a moment before driving him down with a thunderous chokeslam.
But, The Undertaker doesn’t appear to be done, because he grabs McMahon again, and after a nod from Paul Bearer, The Deadman hoists McMahon up and plants him again with a Tombstone!
Paul Bearer watches on with glee as The Undertaker stands over the fallen McMahon.
Paul Bearer: Ohhh yesss, Mr. McMahon! You thought you could bury my Undertaker, but you’ve only unleashed the darkness!
The Undertaker’s theme music hits once more as he and Paul Bearer leave the ring, leaving the WWE Chairman on the mat, as medical staff rush the ring.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The camera cuts backstage to an absolutely chaotic scene as MR. MCMAHON is strapped to a stretcher, being taken by two EMT’s towards the parking lot, with PAUL HEYMAN close behind with his head in his hands. McMahon is, quite comically, making moaning sounds and clutching his neck.
The EMT’s reach the back of the ambulance and prepare the doors. Heyman paces anxiously.
Paul Heyman: Mr. McMahon, I–I’m so sorry! I didn’t think–
Vince holds up a closed fist.
Mr. McMahon: Heyman, get over here.
Heyman leans in, an expression of genuine concern as he listen to McMahon’s labored words.
Mr. McMahon: I don’t care how you do it, but I am ordering you to deal with The Undertaker. One way or another, you take care of this!
McMahon explodes into a fit of coughing.
Mr. McMahon: No one–no one lays their hands on the boss and gets away with it! Do you understand me?
Heyman nods repeatedly, enthusiastically, while the EMT’s finish loading Mr. McMahon onto the ambulance.
Paul Heyman: Don’t worry, Mr. McMahon, I’ll take care of it! You can count on me!
Heyman backs away as the EMT’s jump out, allowing us a full view into the back of the vehicle.
Just as the EMT’s are about to close the back doors, a pale, sinister face suddenly appears through the gap of the front seats!
PAUL BEARER!
Paul Bearer: OHHHHH YESSSSS, MR. MCMAHON!!
Before Vince can react, The Undertaker appears and steps between the chairs and into the back of the cab and stands behind McMahon.
Mr. McMahon: Heyman! HEYMAN! What’s going on?! Get me the hell out of here! HEYMAN! HEYMAN!!
Heyman’s fear of seeing The Undertaker step through the cab towards him causes him to turn and sprint out of sight, down the corridor, leaving McMahon shouting after him.
The Undertaker reaches out of the ambulance, grabs the back doors and yanks them shut, locking McMahon inside, his muffled screams echoing as the siren’s begin to blare out, and then the ambulance speeds off into the night.
And then, we cut to the arena, where a shocked Michael Cole and Tazz briefly discuss what just happened before sending it to our first match; a championship match!
Match One: Cruiserweight Championship
Chavo Guerrero w/Chavo Guerrero SR. defends against Ultimo Dragon
The match started with Ultimo Dragon gaining early momentum, using his quickness and agility to keep Chavo off-balance, including a spectacular Tope Con Hilo to the outside. However, Chavo Sr. 's distractions allowed Chavo Jr. to regain control, hitting a series of hard-hitting moves, including locking in a Gory Special, but Dragon refused to stay down, kicking out multiple times.
As the match progressed, Ultimo Dragon mounted a strong comeback, unleashing a flurry of kicks and aerial maneuvers, including a beautiful Asai Moonsault and a handspring elbow in the corner. Chavo Sr. continued to get involved, grabbing Dragon’s leg and providing distractions, but Dragon managed to fend him off. The match reached its climax when Chavo countered Dragon’s Dragonrana with a mid-air powerbomb, followed by a dramatic near-fall.
In the final moments, Ultimo Dragon nearly sealed the victory with a quick roll-up, but Chavo narrowly escaped. After dodging Dragon’s top-rope Asai DDT, Chavo capitalized by delivering a devastating Gory Bomb in the center of the ring to secure the pinfall victory.
Winner and Still Cruiserweight Champion: Chavo Guerrero @ 11.58
As Chavo Guerrero celebrates his victory with the Cruiserweight Championship in hand, Ultimo Dragon struggles to recover, still reeling from the effects of the Gory Bomb. Chavo Sr., with a devious grin on his face, looks down at Ultimo and wastes no time, rushing over and delivering a hard stomp to Dragon’s midsection. The crowd boos heavily as Chavo Sr. continues to stomp away on the defenseless Ultimo.
Suddenly, REY MYSTERIO rushes down the ramp, and the crowd explodes with cheers. Rey sprints down the ramp, eyes locked on the Guerreros. Seeing Rey coming, Chavo Sr. quickly yells at his son, and both Chavo Jr. and Sr. backpedal out of the ring, avoiding a confrontation. Rey slides into the ring just as the Guerrero's retreat to the outside, holding up their hands, mocking Rey as they back up the ramp
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Back from the break, and we’re backstage where Josh Matthews is waiting.
Josh Matthews: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, Rey Mysterio.
REY MYSTERIO walks into the shot to a huge pop.
Josh Matthews: Rey, before the break, we saw you come to the aid of Ultimo Dragon after he was attacked by Chavo Guerrero, and his father, it’s clear things between you and Chavo are far from settled. What are your thoughts on what went down tonight?
Mysterio takes a moment, adjusting his mask slightly.
Rey Mysterio: You know, Josh, I’ve had a lot of battles in my career, and I’ve faced my share of challenges. I respect the hell out of Ultimo Dragon. But Chavo Guerrero? He thinks he can run roughshod over this Cruiserweight division, over guys like Ultimo and over me, just because he’s got that Cruiserweight Championship.
Rey pauses.
Rey Mysterio: He thinks that title makes him untouchable, but he’s wrong.
Pop.
Rey Mysterio: I’ve been watching him for a while now, watching how he treats people. And you know, I think it’s time for a change. It’s time for someone to take that title away from him. Someone who respects what that belt means, who knows what it means to fight with heart, not run his mouth and hide behind his father.
Another pop.
Rey Mysterio: So, Chavo, listen up. We’ve been a thorn in each other’s side for long enough. I’m coming for that Cruiserweight Championship, and I’m not going to stop until I remove it from your waist. You think you’re the best in the division, well let’s find out. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to face me one on one, and there'll be no one there to help you keep your title.
Pop.
Rey Mysterio: Not your father, not anyone.
Rey stares into the camera as it pans out before fading away.
Into the arena, where HARDCORE HOLLY is pacing around the ring, receiving slight cheers.
Then…
***BASIC THUGANOMICS***
With a huge pop, out comes the NEW WWE United States Champion, JOHN CENA! After defeating The Big Show it appears he’s ready to compete tonight as he walks down the ramp with a microphone in hand.
But, after taking a moment to raise the title high in the air, he spots Hardcore Holly and grabs a microphone, allowing the beat to continue.
John Cena:
Yo, yo, yo, it’s the Champ in the ring,
Beat Big Show at ‘Mania, now I’m doing my thing.
You wanna step up, Holly? Man, you must be buggin’,
You ain’t hardcore, you just soft like Dawn Marie’s muffin.
I’m the new U.S. Champ, got the gold on my waist,
You’re like last week’s meat, man, you got no taste.
I see you walkin’, but you ain’t impressin’,
Just another old-school, stuck in a session.
See, I’m the future, you’re the past, just admit it,
I got that chain game hustle, you just don’t get it.
Holly, you ain’t got the fire, your fuse burned out,
I’m the king of this mic, no doubt, no clout.
You might’ve busted heads, man, I respect that fight,
But now it’s my time, I’m the one with the light.
You’re looking at the Champ, and I’m making my mark,
You’re just another stepping stone, swimming with sharks.
So step up if you dare, but you best come correct,
Cause I’ll body you quicker than a missed suplex.
The Doctor’s in, Holly, yeah, you know the deal,
I just laid you out with words, now how’s that feel?
As expected, Holly doesn’t take too kindly to this, and swings immediately, catching Cena off-guard, landing a right hand, sending the U.S. Champ stumbling back into his corner and the referee quickly calls for the bell.
Match Two: Non-Title
Hardcore Holly vs. John Cena
Holly rushes forward, swinging wildly but misses completely, only for Cena to come out the other side, kick Holly in the gut and PLANT HIM WITH THE FU!
Winner: John Cena @ 0.18
It’s a hugely surprising, easy victory for the U.S Champ here tonight, who hasn’t even had time to take off his padlocked chain. Nonetheless, he raises the title high in the air once the referee hands it over.
He takes one look at Hardcore Holly, smirks, then heads out of the ring, taking the time to slap a few hands.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The cameras are backstage, and the crowd react with a huge amount of heat, as KURT ANGLE is walking through the halls, looking rather pissed off.
The camera follows him until Angle reaches a door, which says “Paul Heyman” and also has a haphazardly placed “BUSY” sign below it. Angle shakes his head, grabs the piece of white paper, crumples it and throws it to the ground.
Inside the office, PAUL HEYMAN is seated at his desk, clearly stressed, rifling through paperwork, his phone beside him, and rubbing his temples before looking up as Angle barges in. Heyman barely has any time to react before Kurt is in his face.
Kurt Angle: Listen up, Heyman! I’m done playing games! I want my rematch against Eddie Guerrero, that little… little jumping bean, and I want it tonight.
Pop at the possibility of seeing a WWE Championship match.
Kurt Angle: He cheated me out of the victory at WrestleMania! You saw it, Heyman. I had that match, and you know it!
Heyman lets out a long sigh and stands up, though the tension in his face makes it clear he’d rather be anywhere else right now.
Paul Heyman: I understand you’re upset. Believe me, I get it. But, if you think you have the right to smash in my door and demand title matches, you’re wrong pal.
Angle looks down, clearly seething then looks back up.
Paul Heyman: I’m up to my eyeballs in chaos here. You’re not the only one coming to me with demands.
Pause. Heyman runs his hair through his hair.
Paul Heyman: You think your problem is the only one I’m dealing with? No! I’ve got Chavo Guerrero barging into my office every five minutes, furious about Rey Mysterio. And don’t get me started on Hardcore Holly, who’s threatening to break my neck because John Cena made a fool out of him!
Angle shakes his head, his face only growing redder.
Paul Heyman: And now, thanks to what happened to Vince McMahon earlier tonight, I’ve been tasked with the IMPOSSIBLE task of dealing with The Undertaker!
Pop at the mention of The Undertaker.
Paul Heyman: Vince got Tombstoned through the ring, and God knows where he is now with those psychotic FREAKS, and now I’m supposed to keep The Undertaker in line–on top of everything else!
Heyman stops, looks up, perhaps notices the anger on Kurt's face.
Paul Heyman: Do you think I asked for this, Kurt? Do you think I enjoy being the guy who has to juggle ALL of this INSANITY?! I–
Angle steps forward, cutting Heyman off.
Kurt Angle: HEYMAN! I don’t give a DAMN who else you’ve got to deal with.
Heyman swallows.
Kurt Angle: I’m your priority! The man standing in front of you! Again, I’m the one who should be WWE Champion right now. I demand you STRIP Eddie Guerrero of that title and hand me what’s mine!
Heyman looks down, but then his face hardens.
Paul Heyman: I am not stripping Eddie Guerrero of the title, Angle. He won, fair or not, and that decision stands. I can just reverse WrestleMania results because you’re upset.
Kurt looks like he’s about to explode.
Paul Heyman: But here’s the thing, Kurt–Eddie will get what’s coming to him. Your rematch is going to happen, but I’ve got bigger problems right now than Eddie Guerrero, and I can’t fight every battle at once!
Kurt grits his teeth but remains silent.
Heyman turns around to sit down but then a sly smirk appears on his face. He turns and looks Angle up and down.
Paul Heyman: Actually, Kurt, I think I’ve just come up with a solution to both of our problems.
Heyman’s excitement builds, to the point where he’s practically giddy.
Paul Heyman: Next week, it will be KURT ANGLE… VERSUS THE UNDERTAKER!!
Huge pop.
Paul Heyman: Vince McMahon will love it! And, as for you, Kurt, you’ll get to channel all that frustration, ALL THAT NEGATIVE ENERGY into something positive, INTO SOMETHING HUGE–beating The Deadman!
Kurt starts to nod but still doesn’t look too pleased.
Paul Heyman: If you can take out The Undertaker, I’ll personally make sure you get another shot at the WWE Championship, sooner rather than later. Think about it! You’re still the best! Better than Eddie Guerrero! This will prove that. Vince gets what he wants, and so do you!
Kurt Angle: You want me to take out The Undertaker? Fine.
Heyman, relieved, smiles and slaps Kurt on the chest.
Paul Heyman: That’s the spirit, Kurt. We’ll take care of The Undertaker, and then you’ll be right where you belong. AT THE TOP! AS WWE CHAMPION!
Kurt Angle: I’ll deal with The Undertaker, but don’t forget your part of the deal, Heyman. Otherwise, The Undertaker will be the LEAST of your problems.
Heyman bows, nodding his head.
Paul Heyman: Absolutely, Kurt. But for now, you’ve got a match. Get to the ring, because you’re in action, and that’s next.
Kurt takes a breath, cracking his neck, before turning to leave, and he walks out, allowing the camera to zoom in on Heyman, who’s clearly satisfied, a weight lifted off his shoulders.
Match Three: Singles
Billy Kidman vs. Kurt Angle
Kurt Angle dominated Billy Kidman in a quick, three--minute match, immediately overpowering his opponent with a series of suplexes and hard-hitting offense. Angle's aggression was relentless from the start, slamming Kidman with a belly-to-belly overhead suplex and easily shrugging off Kidman's brief attempt at a comeback. Even a well-timed dropkick and crossbody from Kidman couldn’t slow Angle down, as he caught Kidman in mid-air and delivered a punishing backbreaker.
Angle, completely in control, finished the match with his signature Angle Slam, followed by locking in the Ankle Lock in the middle of the ring. Kidman, overwhelmed by the pain, had no choice but to tap out, giving Angle the dominant submission victory.
Winner: Kurt Angle @ 3.02
Kurt doesn’t even bother celebrating, instead stomping up the ramp and out of sight while the referee tends to Billy Kidman.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
…
…
***VIVA LA RAZA***
…
…
The crowd erupts into cheers as EDDIE GUERRERO’S signature lowrider cruises into the arena, the hydraulics bouncing, the horn blaring.
The WWE Champion steps out, proudly holding the WWE Title over his head, a wide grin on his face. Cole and Tazz remind us of Eddie’s successful title defense at WrestleMania 20.
Once he rolls into the ring and grabs a microphone, he waits for the crowd to die down, the chant of “Eddie! Eddie!” echoing throughout the arena.
Eddie Guerrero: ¡Orale, mi gente! ¡Qué pasa, SmackDown!
The crowd roars, as expected. Eddie pauses to soak in the energy.
Eddie Guerrero: Man, let me tell you something… I’ve been in this business for a long time, homes. I’ve seen the highest highs and I’ve hit the lowest lows. But, standing here, right now, as the WWE Champion, it’s made it all worthwhile!
Another cheer as Eddie pats the title on his shoulder.
Eddie Guerrero: Last Sunday night, I did what many thought was impossible. I stood in that ring at WrestleMania and went mano-o-mano with one of the greatest technical wrestlers in the world, Kurt Angle.
Loud boos for the mention of man who was just in action before the break.
Eddie Guerrero: But, not only did I beat him, but I beat him the Eddie Guerrero way!
Pop.
Eddie Guerrero: I LIED! I CHEATED! I STOLE! WWE CHAMPION, BABY!
Another loud pop as Eddie starts pacing around the ring, his tone growing more serious.
Eddie Guerrero: But you see, that win wasn’t just for me. It was for all of you. All the people who supported me. Believed in me when I didn’t. Because let me tell you, it wasn’t always like this, homes. No… there was a time when I wasn’t sure I’d even be here.
The crowd don’t quite react, understanding that Eddie is taking a more serious approach now.
Eddie Guerrero: I come from a family where wrestling isn’t just a business–it’s our life. The Guerrero name, it means something, ese. My father was a legend in Meh-he-co. My brothers, cousins–we’ve all fought to make this business our home. And little Eddie, when he was small, wanted nothing more than to make my family proud.
Eddie pauses, taking a breath as Eddie chants breakout.
Eddie Guerrero: Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I let the pressure get to me. I made mistakes, homes. I let addiction take over. I lost my job, lost my family. I lost everything, man.
The crowd fall silent, listening intently.
Eddie Guerrero: But, I didn’t stay down. I got back up, because we Guerrero’s don’t know how to quit.
Pop.
Eddie Guerrero: I fought through the pain, through the addiction. I picked myself back up and I rebuilt my life–rebuilt my family. And now, after all of that, I stand here, as your WWE Champion!
Another pop.
Eddie Guerrero: I promise you all, as long as I’m WWE Champion, I will fight every day, evert match, to keep this title where it belong–around the waist of Latino Heat!
Pop!
Eddie Guerrero: ¡Viva la raza!
Another huge pop, but just as Eddie looks like he might be about to leave the ring…
…
***NEVER GONNA STOP***
…
It takes a long moment for the crowd to understand what’s going on it’s clear we’re witnessing the long awaited return of EDGE who rushes out onto the stage, through a large amount of smoke.
He rushes to each end of the stage to hype up the crowd before stopping at the top of the ramp and taking a moment to appreciate the reaction tonight.
The crowd cheers louder as he makes his way down the ramp, microphone in hand. He stands across the ring from Eddie, looking all around at the crowd.
Edge: Eddie… I just gotta say, IT FEELS DAMN GOOD TO BE BACK!
The crowd pop’s loudly and watches on as Eddie and Edge shake hands, with Eddie whispering in Edge’s ear.
Edge steps back, smirking.
Edge: Man, I’ve been waiting for this moment. Standing in this ring, feeling this energy.
Pop.
Edge: For over a year, I sat at home, recovering, rehabbing, wondering if I’d ever get to do this again.
Edge focuses on Eddie for a moment.
Edge: And let me tell you something, watching out here each week, winning the WWE Championship, beating Kurt Angle–it was inspiring, man.
Eddie nods, appreciative of the man’s comments.
Edge: But here’s the thing… you and I have never seen eye to eye all the time… but…
Edge pauses, then speaks again, his tone shifting slightly.
Edge: I’m proud of you, man, I really am, don’t get me wrong. But, I have to say, while you were out here, proving yourself as WWE Champion…
Edge stops, looks at the mat, rubbing the back of his neck.
Edge: Since No Way Out, I’ve been sat at home, doing absolutely nothing.
Edge looks around the arena before focusing on Eddie again.
Edge: Months and months of my career… TAKEN FROM ME!
Edge turns to the stage.
Edge: I don’t know what BASTARD took me out, but BELIEVE ME, I am going to find out!
Pop. Edge focuses on Eddie again.
Edge: Eddie, I respect the hell out of what you’ve done.
Eddie nods.
Edge: But…, I’m here to put you on notice.
Eddie’s face shifts slightly.
Edge:: Now that I'm back, along with finding out who put me on the sidelines, I have one goal… one thing on my mind…
Edge taps the WWE Title on Eddie’s shoulder.
Edge: That WWE Championship.
Pop.
Edge: So, how about it, old friend, you and me, for the WWE Championship in the main–
…
…
***WORLD’S GREATEST***
…
…
Before Edge can finish his challenge, the music of The World’s Greatest Tag Team blares through the arena as SHELTON BENJAMIN and CHARLIE HAAS walk out onto the stage.
The crowd boos as Shelton and Haas, dressed in matching black tracksuits, smirk and stand on the stage.
Shelton Benjamin: Well, well, well, look who’s back! Edge, man, it’s good to see you back on your feet after that little injury.
Edge shakes his head, standing by the ropes.
Shelton Benjamin: But I gotta tell ya, your return? The big return of Edge? Yeah, that’s gonna be short-lived.
Eddie joins Edge by the ropes, both men staring intently at Benjamin and Haas.
Shelton Benjamin: You see, we just had word from the SmackDown General Manager, Paul Heyman…
Heat for the mention of the SD boss.
Shelton Benjamin: Looks like your big WWE Championship challenge will have to wait.
Edge glances at Eddie.
Shelton Benjamin: Because, Edge, in the main event tonight, it’s not gonna be Eddie Guerrero defending his WWE Title against you. No, no. It’s gonna be the two of you against us… The World’s Greatest Tag Team!
Slight heat at the lost chance of seeing a WWE Title match tonight.
Charlie Haas steps forward with a smirk.
Charlie Haas: Welcome back to SmackDown, Edge, but don’t get too comfortable, you hear me?
Edge looks frustrated.
Charlie Haas: You’ve been gone for a long time, and things have changed around here. Before you go chasing after that WWE Championship, maybe you should focus on what’s in front of you–us!
Edge glances at Eddie who can only shrug.
Charlie Haas: Because tonight, you’re stepping into the ring with the most technically gifted tag team in WWE history!
Shelton steps forward.
Shelton Benjamin: Tonight, we’re gonna make sure your little return doesn’t go as planned. And as for you, Eddie, well, you better hope that you and Edge are on the same page, ‘cause we’re not holding back.
Edge, visibly annoyed by the interruption, raises the microphone again.
Edge: You know what, Shelton? That’s damn fine. The WWE Title can wait.
Eddie glances at the belt on his shoulder.
Edge: But since we’re all here, let’s have a conversation I’ve been waiting to have for a long time. Let’s talk about something that’s been eating at me for months.
Edge’s tone darkens here and the intensity of his voice rises.
Edge: You see, back at No Way Out, I was taken out. Laid out in the back before the match. I didn’t see who did it, but I’ve had plenty of time to think about it.
Edge starts pacing.
Edge: And guess what? MY MONEY’S ON ONE OF YOU TWO CLOWNS!
The crowd pop.
Edge: Maybe it was you, Shelton. Or maybe it was you, Haas. Or hell, you two were so wrapped up in trying to be stars with Team Angle, I reckon it might have been both of you idiots!
Another pop. Edge glances at Eddie.
Edge: But if it wasn’t one of you? Then maybe it was the guy in charge of Team Angle back then?
Heat.
Edge: Either way, I’m gonna find out who it was, and when I do? I’M GONNA MAKE THEM PAY!
The crowd cheers here.
Edge: But tonight? Tonight, me and Eddie are gonna kick both of your asses. When the time comes, I’ll get my WWE Championship shot, but I WILL find out WHO took me out at No Way Out.
The crowd roars in approval as Eddie and Edge stand side by side, staring down Shelton and Haas, who clearly smirk, showing a high level of confidence as they back away towards the curtain.
The camera zooms in on Edge, the intensity in his expression clear as we head to a commercial break.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The scene opens in PAUL HEYMAN’S office. He’s seated at his desk, looking over more paperwork, when suddenly, again, the door bursts open.
This time it’s the current Cruiserweight Champion, CHAVO GUERRERO and his father, CHAVO CLASSIC who approach, both with stern expressions.
Heyman looks up, already weary with bags under his eyes.
Chavo Guerrero: Heyman, we are done waiting! You hear me? We’re done sitting around while Rey Mysterio sticks his nose where it doesn’t belong. I told you this earlier, and I’m telling you again, I beat him at WresteleMania, and now how’s running around thinking he deserves another shot?
Chavo shakes his head.
Chavo Guerrero: After what he pulled earlier, we demand that you suspend him!
Chavo Jr. leans closer to Heyman’s desk and Chavo Sr. nods in agreement.
Chavo Classic: That’s right! Mysterio had no business getting involved earlier tonight. It’s clear as day–my son beat him at WrestleMania. Rey should be gone!
Paul rubs his eyes with the back of his hands.
Paul Heyman: Hold on. You didn’t beat Rey Mysterio one on one at–
Chavo Guerrero: It doesn’t matter, Heyman! If it WAS one on one, man against man, I would’ve beaten Rey Mysterio… again! I’ve proven time and time again that I’m the better man.
Chavo Classic: Rey is nothing compared to the Guerrero legacy! We demand you take action, and suspend him, or do–
Paul Heyman: ENOUGH!!
Heyman smashes his fists against the table, standing up, quite rightly had enough with the behavior of his superstars here tonight.
Paul Heyman: I have HAD it with you two barging in here and making demands!
Even the Guerrero’s have to take a step back as Heyman rounds the desk, his face turning red.
Paul Heyman: You want Rey Mysterio gone? Fine!
The Guerrero’s look at each other, somewhat perplexed.
Paul Heyman: Let’s see if you can back up your talk. Next week, Chavo Guerrero, you will defend your Cruiserweight Championship…
Heyman taps the belt on Chavo’s shoulder.
Paul Heyman: … against Rey Mysterio!
Huge pop.
Chavo Guerrero: WHAT?! That’s not what–
Paul Heyman: ONE ON ONE! And IF, IF you win, then Rey Mysterio will not receive another Cruiserweight Championship shot as long as I’m the boss.
Chavo seems like he’s about to reluctantly accept until…
Paul Heyman: Oh, and one more thing, Chavo Sr., you’re banned from ringside.
The two Guerrero’s practically lose their rag here.
Paul Heyman: That’s my final decision! Now, unless you want me to make your lives even more difficult, I suggest you get the HELL out of MY office!
Chavo Sr. appears to be fuming, about to respond but the Cruiserweight Champion pulls him back and the two exit the office, exchanging one final glare at Heyman.
Once the door is closed, Heyman exhales sharply, his face still red, and then sits back in his chair, and when he puts his head in his hands, taking a deep breath, we fade away.
…
…
Match 4: Non-Title
Too Cool vs. The APA
Rikishi gained the early advantage with his size, but Faarooq quickly countered with stiff strikes. Scotty 2 Hotty tagged in and used his speed to try and outmaneuver Faarooq, but a powerful spinebuster put Scotty down, allowing The APA to take control. Bradshaw entered the match and dominated Scotty with suplexes and power moves, nearly putting him away with a fallaway slam, but Scotty managed to duck a Clothesline from Hell and counter with a spinning heel kick.
Rikishi eventually tagged back in and turned the tide with his brute force, flattening Bradshaw with a Samoan Drop. However, after a distraction from Faarooq, The APA regained control. Faarooq and Bradshaw double-teamed Rikishi, but Rikishi fought back, escaping a Dominator attempt and hitting a superkick on Faarooq. Both men were down, and Rikishi managed to tag in Scotty.
Scotty came in fired up, knocking Bradshaw off the apron with a dropkick and delivering a bulldog to Faarooq. This set up the crowd-favorite Worm, which Scotty hit to perfection, pinning Faarooq for the victory while Rikishi prevented Bradshaw from getting back into the ring.
Winners: Too Cool @ 7.47
A very solid win here tonight for Too Cool, continuing their recent hot streak, and the duo leave the ring after being handed their WWE Tag Team Titles, leaving The APA to lick their wounds, with a visibly frustrated Bradshaw on the outside, taking the time to have a kick out at the steel steps.
…
…
And we’re now backstage, where Josh Matthews is waiting with a microphone in his hand – he looks a tad nervous and we soon see why, with the camera panning out to reveal THE BIG SHOW, wearing a scowl on his face.
Josh Matthews: Ladies and gentleman, I’m here with The Big Show. At WrestleMania, you suffered a tough loss to John Cena and–
Show cuts him off by placing a large hand on the microphone.
Big Show: Yeah, Josh, I lost to Cena at WrestleMania. He had his little moment, his big win, right?
Matthews reluctantly nods.
Big Show: Let’s be real, Cena got lucky. The only reason he won is because he hit me with those damn metal knuckles he carries around.
Boos.
Big Show: He caught me off guard, and he got lucky because it was just one match, but here’s the thing about me, Josh…
Show leans closer to the camera.
Big Show: I don’t stay down. I’m not someone you can just beat once and expect to walk away. I’m a giant–the biggest athlete in Sports Entertainment, and if I get knocked down, I get back up even stronger.
Boos.
Big Show: You see, tonight, I went straight to Paul Heyman, and I told him I deserve a rematch and I’m not waiting around and letting Cena run his mouth without facing me again.
Show straightens up, a smirk appearing on his face.
Big Show: I cashed in that rematch clause, and Heyman agreed. Next week, on SmackDown, it’s going to be John Cena versus The Big Show with the United States Championship on the line.
Slight pop.
Big Show: Cena, you better get ready, because not only is your championship on the line, but everything will be legal, in a No Holds Barred match!
Pop.
Big Show: Next week, I’m going to crush whatever momentum you think you’ve built. And when it’s all said and done, I’m taking back my United States title and everybody is going to remember why I am the most dominant and the most feared man in sports entertainment.
Show flashes a dangerous grin at the camera before walking off, leaving Matthews looking rather uneasy as we head to break.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Main Event: Tag Team
Eddie Guerrero & Edge vs. The World’s Greatest Tag Team
The match began with Eddie and Shelton exchanging quick holds and counters, with Eddie gaining control early. After some fast-paced action, Edge tagged in and continued the momentum with high-impact moves on Shelton. However, things quickly turned when Charlie Haas blind-tagged in and pulled down the top rope, causing Edge to fall hard outside, landing awkwardly on his neck.
Sensing an opportunity, The World's Greatest Tag Team zeroed in on Edge's surgically repaired neck. Haas and Benjamin kept Edge grounded, working together to isolate him in their corner and cut off any hope of a tag. They delivered a series of suplexes, neck cranks, and even a diving clothesline from Shelton, all focused on Edge's neck. Despite their relentless attack, Edge showed resilience, kicking out of multiple pin attempts but clearly struggling to recover.
As the match wore on, Shelton attempted his T-Bone Suplex, but Edge countered with a desperate DDT, leaving both men down. Edge crawled toward his corner and, with the crowd fully behind him, made the hot tag to Eddie Guerrero. Eddie came in like a house of fire, taking down Haas with clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Shelton tried to interfere, but Eddie knocked him outside the ring, giving his team full control.
Eddie looked to finish Haas with the Frog Splash, but Shelton pulled him off the top rope just in time. As Shelton tried to recover on the outside, Edge, having regained some strength, ran around the ring and speared Shelton into the barricade, taking him out of the match. Inside the ring, Eddie delivered the Three Amigos to Haas.
With Haas dazed, Edge tagged back in and set up for his finisher. As Haas staggered to his feet, Edge exploded from the corner with a devastating Spear, knocking Haas nearly out of his boots. Edge covered Haas for the three-count.
Winners: Eddie Guerrero & Edge @ 14.18
Edge rolls off Haas just as the sound of Guerrero launching Benjamin into the side of the steel steps echoes through the arena.
Guerrero, after being handed the WWE Title, slides back into the ring and gingerly stands, and both men have their arms raised while the crowd cheers. However, Edge turns to Eddie and points to the WWE Championship.
Eddie looks at his own title, back at Edge, and nods, as if giving off some confirmation that a title match is on the horizon. Edge, having had a successful return tonight, slides out of the ring, giving the ring to Guerrero who takes the title and heads for the top rope.
Edge backs up the ramp, eyes locked to the ring…
…
…
But then…
…
KURT ANGLE rushes out from the back, out of the curtain and down the ramp, and despite the boos coming from the crowd, Edge doesn’t realise what’s about to happen!
The Olympic Gold Medalist grabs Edge from behind AND SLAMS HIM ONTO THE COLD STEEL OF THE RAMP WITH AN ANGLE SLAM!!
With a sly smirk, Kurt backs away as the WWE Champion exits the ring and jogs up the ramp. Eddie stops by Edge to check on him, with a referee joining him, and points angrily at Angle who’s just now retreating towards the curtain, ready to disappear.
And that’s the end of the night, with Edge on the mat, holding the back of his neck, while Eddie aggressively looks towards Angle.
Goodnight, folks!
…
Confirmed For Next Week!
United States Championship: No Holds Barred
John Cena defends against The Big Show
WWE Cruiserweight Championship: (Chavo Guerrero Sr. banned from ringside)
Chavo Guerrero defends against Rey Mysterio
Kurt Angle vs. The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer
