Worried about a friend, not sure what to do.

[This Guy]

Hey, okay so long story short. First girl I ever loved still really good friends with. She lives in Kitchener which takes about an hour plus by car to get to from Hamilton, so needless to say I rarely see her. When I reconnected with her online about 4 years ago now, she told me that she was a lesbian. I accepted this because it didn't change our friendship. She's had a lot of issues with men relationship wise, especially and including the whole deal with the father of her son, (who was a criminal and lives on the east coast now and does not stay in any contact anymore even for his son) Last year she shocked me with the information that she had a bf. She said she didn't know what she was anymore. She said she could be bisexual, or maybe she is straight, but bottom line this guy she had known for years and she's always had an attraction to him and now they were together and she's never been more happy.

This past week her status on Facebook changes from in a relationship to single. I sent her a msg asking if she was okay and what was going on. She came back with no I'm not and explained that she found out her bf (same guy) was cheating on her for the past 2 weeks as she discovered he had a facebook (that he claimed he didn't) and on it in the notes and everything talks about how happy he is with some new girl that he just started dating that obviously is not my friend. (Pictures and everything of them together) Just from the tone of the msg I could tell she was really pissed off (and justifibly so) and I had never seen her react like this, even the one time when her one gf told her that she had to choose between her or her son.

Anyways since I sent my 2nd msg telling her how sorry I was, and that she didn't deserve to be treated that way and offering as I always have to be there to listen if she needs to talk I haven't heard from her. This wouldn't be unusual so much except I then noticed the next day she had deleted her Myspace account. I'm friends with her brother and sister as well and I've tried finding out from them if everything is okay but both of them are usually pretty slow with the replies as well these days.

I'm really worried about her and I don't know what else to do. Have I done everything I can? I mean what else can I do besides offer a sympathetic ear? I just hope she doesn't do anything stupid. She fought back from drug addiction and has a solid family life now. I don't want to see her throw it all away.

 

[Soulpower]

If you know where she lives, the best thing I can suggest is for you to go and talk to her face to face. Maybe if she sees the lengths that friend is willing to go to cheer her up, she might feel better.

 

[phantomgerald]

Yeah I guess what SP said is true. Just pay her a surprise visit and just be there for her when she needs to and prove that there is more to live for.

 

[the dark knight]

and they tell me that people dont change their sexuality and that some dont people turn homo when something happens that let them hate their same sex...sigh

ontopic:

if you dont have her number, you've done everything that could be done THEN.

right now, its still saturday so if you're not busy, like sp said, pay her a surprise visit and talk to her one on one. if you think its a good idea, take your wife with you. she might find it more comfortable talking to a woman...not sure.

and dont worry, she wont do anything stupid. it usually takes 3 days to heal from knowing the fact that your lover has cheated on you..coming from experience. so, try to hurry if you can.s

 

[Y2Jasmine]

Do you know if she was living with the guy? Maybe she packed up and moved away from him because she didnt want to be reminded of their relationship. Maybe she also deleted her account because he had access to it. Although it may seem kind of extreme I think you should go up and see if you can find out whats going on with her. But I think you should definitely take your wife. Sometimes, and this is coming from a girls point of view, when we are feeling down about ourselves especially relationship wise we tend to look for love from someone who we were with before. Now Im not saying that this is what will surely happen but if it was me I wouldnt want to get caught in that situation. So if youre really concerned and cant get an answer elsewhere, Id go and see for myself just so I had peace of mind on the situation.

 

[Bring Me To Life]

Yeh I agree pay her a surprise visit and take your wife. Have a talk with her. Maybe she needs some company or something for a few days. You could ring her if you have her number. I have been cheated on but I didn't go extreme heck I am only 13! lol. I don't think she will do something stupid though. Good luck man with whatever you do

 

[The Mojo]

Yea basically what has been said. Go and visit her and see what the problem is and just listen, that is if she is still there.

IDK what to say if she isnt but hope she is and just try and get her mind straight and stuff

 

[This Guy]

Okay update.

She deleted her Myspace because she rarely uses it anymore and decided to just use facebook....how do I know this?

I spent an hour talking to her sister last night. I told her that I was worried about her sister...the response I got was not comforting. Aparently the whole family is worried about her. Acording to her sister, my friend was absoulutely in love with this guy. Which I believe based on how happy she claimed to be when I did get to talk to her. She had moved but as far as I know though I never clarified it was not in with him. Aparently there is something more to the story as well, but her sister didn't know if she should be telling me or not and decided not to. Which worries me even more. I don't know how serious the relationship had gotten. Were they engaged? Was/is she pregnant again? I don't know these answers and I don't think I'm going to get them even from her family unfortunatly. I asked her sister if she thought me going out to visit her would help and she thinks it might. She even agreed to help me out with a suprise visit. Sunday they are all together as a family as it is my friends brothers birthday and her sister (the one I was talking to) on Tuesday. Her sister is going to try and find out when she is off work and then make plans with her to have a sisters night together at my friends house. Then instead of her sister showing up, I do. So I am expecting to hear back from her sister by Sunday or Monday about when my friends days off this week are, and hopefully I can find a time within it.

So yeah I kinda had the same idea. I think seeing her face to face and talking to her face to face would calm some of my fears. Though I doubt my wife would go with me. a) because the two of them don't know eachother that well, and b) because someone needs to stay home with our daughter. As for why I just don't pick up and do it, its because I a) need to be sure she's going to be home, b) I don't know exactly where she moved too, c) I work a lot and then have other responsibilities here at home that don't always allow me to just pick up and leave to do whatever I want. Hopefully all will work out.

 

[Antony_nz]

Ok.

Try the yawn arm around technique.
When siting just yawn and put your arms around her. Make it seem natural.

 

[This Guy]

Ok.

Try the yawn arm around technique.
When siting just yawn and put your arms around her. Make it seem natural.

Your a fucking idiot. Either you didn't read the damn post to actually no what this is about, or this was your sad attempt to add humor to this....either way you failed...if not at being funny, at life, so just go away.