06:45 AM | Alarm goes off, ignore.
07:40 AM | Alarm goes off, ignore.
08:30 AM | Alarm goes off. Realise I start work at 9:30.
08:31 AM | Get out of bed.
08:32 AM | Cleanse myself.
08:45 AM | Make food.
08:55 AM | Leave house
09:16 AM | Catch bus for work.
10:02 AM | Get off bus. Walk to second bus stop.
10:16 AM | Get second bus.
10:24 AM | Get off second bus. Walk to work.
10:32 AM | Arrive at work.
10:34 AM | Get in elevator with "other people", hence-forth known as "fucking idiots"
10:34 AM | Fucking idiots forget key combination for their floor. Elevator starts to go up anyway.
10:35 AM | Fucking idiots run out of attempts. Elevator gets confused, stops half way, goes back down.
10:36 AM | Fucking idiots get back out on ground floor to go to help desk. Mash "Close door" button.
10:37 AM | Enter "5". Enter Code correctly. Wait.
10:37 AM | Arrive at work. Walk to desk.
10:38 AM | "Heh, evening!", "Haha, evening James!". Fuck you James.
10:40 AM | Printer jams. Fix it.
10:50 AM | Find ticket assigned to me. Title: "Broken". Contents: "it broke help". From: "Steven"
10:51 AM | Walk over to Steven, "Yeah it's like..." turn on computer, "...broken not sure what..." walk away.
10:59 AM | Wonder how little I could do while making it look like I'm working...
11:00 AM | Oh well, break time. Eat sandwich at desk while browsing the internet.
11:20 AM | Still on break.
11:30 AM | Finish break.
11:31 AM | Start writing game that takes code and generates a playable level through the source, allowing me to play games while making it look like I'm doing work.
11:46 AM | Get "Chat" message from Boss sitting directly opposite me.
11:46 AM | "Get that profit calculator finished?".
11:48 AM | "Not yet, there's a few bugs I need to iron out. Idiot clients sent over the wrong calculations." The calculations were fine.
11:59 AM | "Typical. Reply to the ticket that's open will ya?"
12:01 AM | Sigh. Open ticket system. Reply: "Calculator is on hold due to certain complications. For any further information regarding the calculator, please create a ticket passing your ID: 10t."
12:02 BM | Well shit, lunch time.
12:03 CM | Get in elevator, press 0.
12:05 DM | Elevator stops at 4th floor. Oh for fu-
12:05 EM | Doors open.
12:05 FM | Doors close. Nobody gets in.
12:06 GM | Arrive at ground level, go into canteen.
12:08 HM | Notice menu. Notice it's been the same exact menu for 8 months. Sigh.
12:10 IM | Order chips.
12:14 JM | Get back to desk.
12:14 KM | Printer jams. Fix it.
12:15 LM | Browse BOFH. Eat chips. Realise cardboard probably doesn't taste that bad.
12:20 MM | Continue creating the game.
12:21 NM | Printer jams. Fix it.
12:23 OM | Get back to desk, read over what I've just written Four times.
12:30 PM | Printer jams. Put "Printer out of order" sticker on printer. Switch it off.
13:24 QM | Clair: "Why ain't the printer on? I need to print". "It's out of order, there was a sign", "WELL FIX IT". Resist urge to kill.
13:24 RM | Take sign off printer. Turn printer back on. Silently swear at the deathly machine, hoping one day to affectionaly hug it several times with a baseball bat while listening to the Geto Boys.
13:25 SM | Printer jams trying to turn on. Mash "Force paper" button to torture printer.
13:26 TM | Return to desk, resume game.
13:37 UM | Realise time, resume tradition of typing Konami code into whatever program/page I have open.
13:50 VM | Boss: "Need you to go do some support, it'll only take a few minutes. Mac-boy needs some help with HTML. ... Yeah him, the web designer."
16:32 WM | Return to desk. Hug my five-buttoned mouse.
16:50 XM | Printer jams. Fix i- Printer fixes itself as I arrive. LEL EPIC TROLD.
17:20 YM | Get pulled into meeting. Manage to get reading material that I was given for meeting stuck in my tie. Don't ask.
17:50 ZM | Shut down computer. Turn off monitors. Log out of phone. Pick up bag.
17:54 AN | Walk away from desk to Elevators.
17:59 BN | Printer jams. Fuck it.
