"The most creative or versatile to date...I don't know, man. That's a good question. I didn't really think about that." - Quinton Jackson, on UFC 135 opponent Jon Jones. Jones would up his game with MMA Nation's Luke Thomas. (Luke Thomas)
"Well, you know, I'm British, so being a double agent is what we do. So, it wasn't a distraction. I simply got caught." - Jon Jones, "admitting" to having a spy in "Rampage's" training camp...entirely in an English accent. (MMA Nation)
"Yeah, he caught me. It was his chef. Chef kinda put me out there a little bit. I'm comfortable with it, too late now." - Jones. Hello there, children!
"I'm going to end his hype tomorrow, that's what I told him." - Jackson, on what he told Jones during their staredown at the weigh-ins. Jones stifled Jackson for three rounds before finishing him by rear naked choke in the fourth. (MMA Mania)
NOTE: THE WEEK IN QUOTES IS A WORK OF SATIRE, AND I HAVE A MASSIVE HANGOVER.
OH CANADA
"People ask me how MMA got big in Canada and I say, ‘Are you kidding?!? You actually think Georges St. Pierre is the one that made it big?’" - MFC owner Mark Pavelich, in a dark corner, laying in the fetal position. (Five Ounces of Pain)
"I made it big! There was no MMA before I was here. I made it. I. Me, me, and me." - Pavelich
" And you know what? Before I’d never talk like this but I swore starting today I’m gonna shove it in everybody’s face." - Pavelich, who was quickly arrested by mounted police for indecent exposure.
OVEREEM, OVERDUE
"[FEG] didn't pay me [for winning the 2010 K-1 Grand Prix]." - Alistair Overeem, with a statement that shocks just about nobody. (MMA Fighting)
"We're on the verge of starting up legal action, but Japan is a hard environment to move. You have the language barrier, you have the culture barrier. Are we expecting something from it? It's hard to say. I actually think it's going to be really hard." - Overeem. That's what she said.
"FEG has a lot of outstanding liabilities, a lot of unpaid bills, so maybe mine is just going to be put underneath the stack of the other bills. They have a lot of debt." - Overeem
WHITE NOISE
"Yeah it will go away when the Fox deal starts, which is in January." - UFC President Dana White, on Strikeforce. Just kidding. He's talking about Facebok fights. (El Octagono)
"I believe, and maybe I'm a little goofy, that I have a good rapport with this kid and we can work together." - White, on Justin Bieber. (MMA Torch)
"If you really look at what I call ‘the spirit of the deal’, it’s the wrong thing to do. The thing is, you have to understand, in my opinion it’s Spike not being honorable." - White, finally able to speak his mind about Manswers. (MMA Fighting)
PARTING SHOTS
"My wife tells me I'm done fighting. She wanted me to retire after the [fight with] B.J." - Matt Hughes, prior to his UFC 135 loss to Josh Koscheck. (MMA Torch)
"Fighting Matt Hughes is a good comeback fight for me." - Josh Koscheck, with fight code for "this dude is over the hill." (MMA Mania)
"I think the judge will decide on this issue that we have, and when that is decided, we will see who was right and who was not." - Bas Boon, reacting to Alistair Overeem leaving Golden Glory. (MMA Junkie)