C4
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An embarrassed Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) apologized to the country’s mainstream news media for not producing an Al-Qaeda threat video in time for the national election on November 4th.
Traditionally, the CIA’s Middle East production company as-Sahab — whose primary responsibility is to produce and leak information onto the Internet to make it appear that Al-Qaeda is a terrorist organization — shoots a video of CIA special agent Tim Osman or his understudy, Osama bin Albert, in time for U.S. elections or whenever the public needs a reminder that they should “stay the course.†However, difficulties on the Middle East set have caused considerable delays during the shooting of the video. As a result, it is unlikely that an Al-Qaeda threat video will materialize before Tuesday’s election.
The CIA sent out an e-mail to the major news networks explaining the problem.
Hey! Hey! Hey! It's biiiiiiiiiiiiiin Albert!
Fat understudy Osama bin Albert is pictured in upper left and lower right, opposite CIA Agent Tim Osman. Difficulties on the Middle East set are causing a delay in the production of the CIA's newest Al-Qaeda threat video.
“We apologize for making all of you look foolish after we hinted that an Al-Qaeda threat video was forthcoming,†wrote CIA Director of Terror Propaganda Mark Wiley. “We appreciate your passing on this hint to the American people, but due to difficulties on the set involving Special Agent Tim Osman, we will not be able to release the video on time.â€
The CIA has assumed responsibility for producing Al-Qaeda threat videos ever since the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001, in which a neoconservative faction of the federal government teamed up with the military-industrial complex to destroy buildings, in an effort to change U.S. foreign policy. The plan succeeded, and neoconservatives in the White House were able to pursue their dream of American world hegemony, while the military-industrial complex was rewarded with huge military budgets and lucrative no-bid reconstruction contracts. However, the patsy character for the attacks — Osama bin Laden — is required to appear from time to time, in order to keep Americans from questioning the existence of the Al-Qaeda terror group. This is usually achieved through the Tim Osman videos.
Wiley went into further detail in the e-mail to explain the set difficulties.
“Tim Osman is upset with his dressing room accommodations,†he wrote. “He also complains that the set is too hot or too cold, or that he doesn’t like his makeup artist, or that the lighting is bad or the set director sucks. We’re doing our best to work with him, but it isn’t easy… He feels he has done a superb job portraying Osama bin Laden, so he has quite the ego these days.â€
The Al-Qaeda organization was created by the CIA in the 1980s to fight the Soviet Union’s occupation of Afghanistan. After the occupation ended, most of the Al-Qaeda fighters disbanded, but the CIA continued to control those who remained. In the 1990s, the CIA began using Al-Qaeda as a patsy for its false-flag terror attacks upon other countries; the attacks were designed to produce political changes in the targeted countries that were favorable to the U.S.
In 1993, the CIA coordinated an effort between neoconservatives and the U.S. military-industrial complex to target the World Trade Center with a bomb attack and blame Al-Qaeda, with the goal being to stop expected military budget cuts. The bombing failed to produce the desired result, so in 1997 work began on a second plan in which remote-controlled airplanes would be used to attack not only the World Trade Center, but the Pentagon and Congress as well, with a new goal of seizing control of the oil-rich Middle East. However, the scheduled Sept. 11, 1998 attack was called off due to the Monica Lewinsky scandal and a growing distrust of President Bill Clinton on the part of the planners. The attack was eventually carried out on Sept. 11, 2001, after a new president was in the White House.
Oh, the freedom of speech! :sq_yellow_sick:
Traditionally, the CIA’s Middle East production company as-Sahab — whose primary responsibility is to produce and leak information onto the Internet to make it appear that Al-Qaeda is a terrorist organization — shoots a video of CIA special agent Tim Osman or his understudy, Osama bin Albert, in time for U.S. elections or whenever the public needs a reminder that they should “stay the course.†However, difficulties on the Middle East set have caused considerable delays during the shooting of the video. As a result, it is unlikely that an Al-Qaeda threat video will materialize before Tuesday’s election.
The CIA sent out an e-mail to the major news networks explaining the problem.
Hey! Hey! Hey! It's biiiiiiiiiiiiiin Albert!
Fat understudy Osama bin Albert is pictured in upper left and lower right, opposite CIA Agent Tim Osman. Difficulties on the Middle East set are causing a delay in the production of the CIA's newest Al-Qaeda threat video.
“We apologize for making all of you look foolish after we hinted that an Al-Qaeda threat video was forthcoming,†wrote CIA Director of Terror Propaganda Mark Wiley. “We appreciate your passing on this hint to the American people, but due to difficulties on the set involving Special Agent Tim Osman, we will not be able to release the video on time.â€
The CIA has assumed responsibility for producing Al-Qaeda threat videos ever since the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001, in which a neoconservative faction of the federal government teamed up with the military-industrial complex to destroy buildings, in an effort to change U.S. foreign policy. The plan succeeded, and neoconservatives in the White House were able to pursue their dream of American world hegemony, while the military-industrial complex was rewarded with huge military budgets and lucrative no-bid reconstruction contracts. However, the patsy character for the attacks — Osama bin Laden — is required to appear from time to time, in order to keep Americans from questioning the existence of the Al-Qaeda terror group. This is usually achieved through the Tim Osman videos.
Wiley went into further detail in the e-mail to explain the set difficulties.
“Tim Osman is upset with his dressing room accommodations,†he wrote. “He also complains that the set is too hot or too cold, or that he doesn’t like his makeup artist, or that the lighting is bad or the set director sucks. We’re doing our best to work with him, but it isn’t easy… He feels he has done a superb job portraying Osama bin Laden, so he has quite the ego these days.â€
The Al-Qaeda organization was created by the CIA in the 1980s to fight the Soviet Union’s occupation of Afghanistan. After the occupation ended, most of the Al-Qaeda fighters disbanded, but the CIA continued to control those who remained. In the 1990s, the CIA began using Al-Qaeda as a patsy for its false-flag terror attacks upon other countries; the attacks were designed to produce political changes in the targeted countries that were favorable to the U.S.
In 1993, the CIA coordinated an effort between neoconservatives and the U.S. military-industrial complex to target the World Trade Center with a bomb attack and blame Al-Qaeda, with the goal being to stop expected military budget cuts. The bombing failed to produce the desired result, so in 1997 work began on a second plan in which remote-controlled airplanes would be used to attack not only the World Trade Center, but the Pentagon and Congress as well, with a new goal of seizing control of the oil-rich Middle East. However, the scheduled Sept. 11, 1998 attack was called off due to the Monica Lewinsky scandal and a growing distrust of President Bill Clinton on the part of the planners. The attack was eventually carried out on Sept. 11, 2001, after a new president was in the White House.
Oh, the freedom of speech! :sq_yellow_sick: