Kayfabe The Wedding of Buster Gates

[SupaHeeroh]

Patrick Young: I can’t believe what we’ve just witnessed!
Anthony Pederson: We’ve got a new World Heavyweight Champion! Buster did it!
Patrick Young: With a huge assist from Reginald! I don’t understand what is going on here but once again Buster Gates is at the top of Precision!

*Reginald jumps in the air as Buster’s music begins to play. He runs over to the corner of the ring and grabs the World Heavyweight Championship. Buster rolls over onto his back and sticks his middle finger into the air. With the minimal movement he can muster he begins to chuckle. He did it. He defeated Ryan Blake and took the World Heavyweight Championship in the process. A stretcher had made its way ringside and doctors roll Ryan Blake onto it. He is wheeled back up the ramp and backstage. Whilst this is happening Reginald helps Buster back to his feet. Buster stands in a lot of pain with blood all over his face and battle suit. Reginald passes him the World Heavyweight Championship and Buster throws his arm into the air. As he does so he falls backwards onto the mat exhausted. He lays there grasping onto the championship as Reginald stands clapping. Reginald crouches down next to Buster and Buster tells him something. Reginald stands back up, walks to the corner of the ring and asks for a microphone. He hands it to Buster who is still lying on the mat.*

Buster Gates: ............ Let’s get me married...

*Buster’s music hits again. Stagehands rush the ring with wedding equipment. Buster slowly rolls out the ring and with the help of Reginald walks back up the ramp and returns backstage.*

Anthony Pederson: What a hero! Look at him, even in the condition he is in he still wants to marry the love of his life in front of all his adoring fans.
Patrick Young: “Fans” is a strong word... We’ll be back with the wedding of Buster Gates right after this commercial break!

*The camera fades to black for commercial. It fades back in as the break ends. The ring has been set up with all the wedding decorations. The ring ropes have been removed, flowers surround the ring posts, a giant picture of Buster and Hayley is in the ring. A white carpet has been rolled out down the ramp and rows of chairs fill up the stage area. A minister is already in the ring. Guests begin to come out onto the stage and fill up the seats. The only notable person is Buster’s mother, Mrs Gates who sits at the front. Wedding music begins to play.*



*Buster strolls back out onto the stage wearing his tailor made suit. His hair has been slicked back into a ponytail and a bandage has been applied to his head. Blood is still visible and running through his hair but for the most part has been wiped away from his face. The World Heavyweight Championship is around his waist. Reginald steps out after Buster looking as dapper as he always does. Buster hobbles past the rows of his guests and kisses his mother’s hand as he does so. He slowly walks down the ramp with Reginald assisting him, still very battered from the gruelling match he just won. He climbs the steps and enters the ring. He shakes the hand of the minister and waits for his bride to be to enter...*



*Hayley walks out onto the stage with her father accompanying her. She looks gorgeous in her white dress and veil. Her father slowly walks her down the ramp. His walking stick gives him some trouble walking but the pair makes it to the ring. They enter the ring and he stands behind Hayley as Reginald stands behind Buster.*

Anthony Pederson: What a beautiful pair...
Patrick Young: Shh, it’s starting!

Minister: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Buster Gates and Hayley Jane Fayre in Holy matrimony.

*Buster runs his hand through his hair, covering it in blood before holding Hayley's hand. Hayley doesn't notice the blood on her hand.*

Minister: In the short period of time they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife... The story of your life together is still yours to write. All those present have come to witness and celebrate your love and commitment this day, eager to be a part of the story not yet told.

*Buster speaks into the microphone.*

Buster Gates: You hear that everyone? You're supposed to be EAGER! Put down those nachos, tuck in your t-shirts and lace up your gym shoes, we're getting married here!

*Buster mouths "ignore them" and lets the minister continue. The audience boo.*

Minister: May you always need one another, not to fill an emptiness, but to help each other know your fullness. May you embrace one another, but not encircle one another. May you...

Buster Gates: Ohoho! We’ll be embracing later tonight, don’t worry.

Minister: ... May you have happiness, and may you find it in making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it in loving one another... Now, I have been told that you have written your own vows. Hayley, would you like to go first?

*Hayley nods and steps up to the microphone.*

Hayley: Buster... The day we met I knew that you would be the one. You had this strange presence about you. A presence that I wanted to be around... You made me feel warm and wanted. The day we met was the day my life changed forever. We travelled the world, explored places I could never imagine going to and I’m so happy to have done that with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I promise to look after you, care for you, and laugh at all your silly jokes...

*Hayley smiles, Buster chuckles.*

Hayley: I promise to love you for as long as I live.

*Hayley steps back from the microphone.*

Minster: And now you, Buster.

*Buster smiles and steps forward. He takes out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket.*

Buster Gates: I took my time with this. I had to write it down just so I remembered everything I wanted to say so excuse me... Also... The lack of blood currently heading to and from my brain may slow me down slightly, but don't worry, i'm getting through this.

*He clears his throat and begins.*

Buster Gates: Hayley, on our first date I took you to a nice fancy restaurant. You had a salad, I had a steak and I felt fulfilled. As far as first dates go it was pretty average, but there was something different in you, a sparkle in your eyes that I’ve not seen before in other girls. Over the next few months we travelled the world, went deep sea diving, climbed mountains, visited the Great Wall of China and I realised that this relationship wasn’t going to be like any other relationship I’ve had in the past. I realised that you were the one, which is why I proposed so early.

*Buster takes a deep breath.*

Buster Gates: You are my rock and teddy bear, my number-one partner in crime. And I vow, going into our lives together as man and wife, to be one hundred percent committed to you and only you. I vow to love you as you deserve to be loved, with admiration, adoration, passion and respect, and to treat you like the strong independent black woman that you are on the inside, even when you’re makeup free and looking like a mess.

*Hayley hits Buster on the arm. He continues.*

Buster Gates: I vow to support your interests and nourish your passions, from scrap-booking, to clothes shopping, to watching those terrible TV shows, and including that weird shell collecting you do. I vow to remain loyal to you physically and emotionally. I vow to take you seriously when you need to be taken seriously, and to laugh with or at you the rest of the time because honestly some of the things you come out with just crack me up, and because sometimes I just need to laugh at you because I can’t take you serious when you try to look mean. I vow to take care of you when you are sick, tired, or exhausted, or just when you forget to take care of yourself. And hopefully you’ll look after me too on nights when I come home steaming drunk and unable to talk.

*He chuckles.*

Buster Gates: I vow to create a household and raise children with you as partners and as equals, and promise now just to get it out the way; that I will get us a nanny because I am not going anywhere near a stinky nappy. And I vow to remain by your side as we grow old, to play dominoes on the patio, swing our walking sticks at the youngsters, and buy the best rocking chairs available, because old people just love rocking chairs.

*Buster pauses again and grabs Hayley’s hand.*

Buster Gates: Hayley, I love you more than words describe, and I can’t wait to see the look on your face when I show you this video...

*Buster points at the titantron. The video is a security camera focused on Hayley talking on her mobile phone.*

Hayley: It’s been less than six months baby...

*Back in the ring Hayley lets go of Buster’s hand. She covers her face, not realising that there was blood on her hand, it is now on her face.*

Hayley: You've got to remember that this guy is a millionaire. He’s got more money than we’ll know what to do with... Yeah, I know... I miss you too...Just think, soon enough we’ll be married and I’ll be entitled to everything he has. I mean, I’m going to have to give the marriage a couple of months just so it looks legit.

*Hayley looks at Buster in the ring with tears running down her cheeks.*

Hayley: Seriously, give me another six months and I’ll send out the divorce as planned. When they ask why I’ll just make something up... I dunno, I’ll say he abused me or something. Who are they going to believe? A millionaire with a history of drinking and gambling problems who fights people for a living, or a poor, vulnerable housewife? Exactly! Soon we’re going to be rich beyond belief! Just give me another six months. I love you, I’ll call you soon. Bye.

*The video ends. Back in the ring Buster is still standing there with a smile on his face as Hayley is breaking down.*

Buster Gates: What a touching story!

*Buster grabs Hayley’s arm, smearing blood down it. Hayley finally realises that she has blood on her and tries to pry free, but she's unable to do so.*

Buster Gates: I vow to you, Hayley that this SHIT will not stand! I vow that I CANNOT tolerate any of this and that what you have tried to do to me is far worse than anything I have ever done in my entire life. You played me like a fiddle and I despise you for it. That’s why you’ve been trying to rush this wedding as quickly as possible and why you even agreed to have a wedding here in a wrestling ring, I mean come on! What kind of idiot does that!

*The audience are in complete and total shock.*

Buster Gates: My final vow to you, Hayley, is that I vow that I am not sorry for what I’m about to do, and that I would rather take the fine you will send my way after it than you taking all my money by marrying me.

*Buster kicks Hayley in the stomach and turns her around for a Ravishing Neckbreaker. He wiggles his hips and as he does so Hayley’s father drops his walking stick and tries to intervene. Reginald steps forward and kicks him in the stomach also setting up for a Ravishing Neckbreaker.*

Anthony Pederson: Holy shit...
Patrick Young: I... I’m speechless!
Anthony Pederson: This is the greatest wedding of ALL TIME! Look at Reginald shaking his hips!

*Both Reginald and Buster in perfect harmony wiggle their hips and connect with Ravishing Neckbreakers. The audience can’t help but chant “holy shit!”. Both Hayley and her father are down on the mat. Hayley now covered in Buster's blood as his head wound re-opens. Buster and Reginald get back to their feet and embrace in a hug. Buster lets go, pushes the minister out of the way and grabs the microphone off of its stand. Red spills down his face and into his eyes.*

Buster Gates: SIX MONTHS! Six long, long months way back at the end of year awards ceremony I said that no matter what, I would be champion again... And tonight... Tonight that prophecy FINALLY came true! And it’s all thanks to this man standing right here. My best man, the GREATEST man, Reginald... We’ve had a plan all along! Ever since I returned we’ve been plotting and waiting for our moment to strike. It was pure luck that Reginald was given a position of power and we used that to our advantage. Reg was able to manipulate Ryan Blake into a false sense of security. Ryan trusted Reg and that’s all we needed. Tonight everything finally came full circle when I defeated Blake and took the World Heavyweight Championship from him. I could've DIED in that match but it was worth it! I went through hell and proved that I AM A WRESTLING ELITE! SIX. WHOLE. MONTHS... It feels damn good! I’m World Heavyweight Champion. I own this place. I run this place. I WIN!

*Buster wipes the blood from his eyes.*

Buster Gates: I found out a few weeks ago that Hayley wasn't who she said she was... I guess it was only a matter of time! A fan tweeted me saying that they saw her and Luke together in some coffee shop. Yeah, that's right, Luke! I rang him up and he played dumb so I checked her phone. Found the messages, phone calls and everything and I put two and two together that something was up. I thought that she was cheating on me with him, but hell I was way wrong! She set me up from the beginning! She's nothing but a gold digger so I set up security cameras all around our house. This "guy", whoever he is messages her all the damn time. I mean, I noticed that she was always on her phone but never really clicked on. But something just didn't seem right. I have more footage, just like what I've shown with her and her "partner in crime". She's a dirty WHORE and i'm glad I'm done with her... But it's fine! I don't need her, I finally can admit that me and Reg are on good terms and all is well, and he is worth a million of what this waste of vagina is worth...

*Buster hugs Reginald again.*

Buster Gates: Before I take my leave I have one final thing that I need to address... Reg... I did tell you that once I win back the championship that I would fire you as General Manager... And I’m a man of my word so... Reg, you’re fired!

Patrick Young: Wait what?!
Anthony Pederson: Let the man finish!

Buster Gates: But...

*Buster drops down to one knee.*

Patrick Young: No... Way...
Anthony Pederson: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SUCH AN AMAZING LOVE STORY IN YOUR LIFE?!

Buster Gates: Reginald... Will you......... Be my butler?

*Reginald nods his head and Buster jumps to his feet.*

Buster Gates: He said yes! Play my God damn music!



*Buster’s original music plays. Confetti falls down from the ceiling and a line of scantily clad women appear from backstage and dance down to the ring. Stacey, the girl from Buster’s stag do just so happens to be one of the girls who comes down to the ring. Buster grabs her and shoves his tongue down her throat. He releases her and laughs. The women surround Buster and Reginald and they all link arms and leave the ring. Buster takes the World Heavyweight Championship from around his waist and lifts it in the air as he walks. As the group gets to the top of the ramp Buster stops and looks at the look of disgust on all the guests faces. He grabs his mother’s hand just as he did when he first walked out and kisses it again. The show ends with Buster standing at the top of the ramp with his championship held high in the air, Reginald back at his side and confetti falling around them.*​