Adam and Lily-Ann Florés sat in their office.
“You know what we need? Something to distance ourselves from the rest.†Lily-Ann said.
“Yep.†Adam replied, tossing a little rubber ball and catching it over and over.
“There are championship belts for every physically possible weight class, the Knockouts have brought dignity and talent back to women’s wrestling, the industry has pretty much done everything it can in terms of putting steel of some kind around a ring so I don’t think we can do much else…†Lily-Ann listed off.
“Five sided ring? We could be the pentagon!†Adam suggested.
“You suck.†Lily-Ann replied.
“You’re the woman, that’s your job.†Adam retorted.
“Okay, one, I’m your sister so good god ew, and two…†Lily-Ann said, and proceeded to throw a paperweight at Adam.
“Hey!†Adam yelled. He grabbed a book off his desk and threw it at Lily-Ann.
“Oh no, no you didn’t!†Lily-Ann yelled back, throwing the loaf of bread on top of the mini-fridge at Adam.
“OH GOD, WHOLE WHEAT!!†Adam screamed. He grabbed a bottle of Pepto-Bismol from his drawer and threw it at Lily-Ann. It exploded on impact and coated her in the pink medicine.
“HEY!!†Lily-Ann screamed. She charged and tackled Adam off his chair, and the two proceeded to wrestle.
After a few seconds of this, the two stopped, both suddenly thinking of the same idea.
“Heeeeyyyy.†They both said, smiles on their faces.
************************
The show opens to a stadium full of people.
“Welcome, everyone, to another edition of FFW. I’m Michael Cole here with CM Punk at ringside. It used to be that both commentators would be made up of random superstars, but apparently none of them could handle the job on their own so now only the color commentator spot with rotate.â€
“Oh hardy har har, Cole.†Punk said with a smirk. “Though yeah, back then we had commentators jumping up and getting in the ring, we had commentators who hit on the women during their matches, it was a mess.â€
“Anyway, before we begin, it’s just been handed to me that Adam and Lily-Ann have an announcement to make.†Cole said.
At that moment Synchronicity, by Yui Makino, began to play. Adam and Lily-Ann began their walk down the ramp and into the ring.
“Interesting choice of music.†Cole commented.
“Any idea what she’s singing?†Punk asked.
“Not a clue.†Cole replied. “Go get Funaki, maybe he knows.â€
“What good does that do? He can’t speak English.†Punk said.
“True enough.†Cole replied.
Adam and Lily-Ann, now in the ring, began to speak.
“Thank you, thank you.†Adam said. “Like the song? Doesn’t she sound cute? I bet she’s cute.â€
“I never agreed to this song.†Lily-Ann replied.
“Anyway, we’ve got some news for you all.†Adam said. “Tonight’s main event will be a match over a new championship that we’ve just implemented.â€
“We’ve hired so many of the Knockouts, and they really don’t get enough time in the ring considering how talented-†Lily-Ann began, but was suddenly interrupted as the crowd exploded with a rousing chant of ODB! ODB! ODB!
Cole laughed. “ODB! ODB!†He chanted.
“…yes, yes, she’s a Knockout, yes.†Lily-Ann said with a smirk. “As I was saying, since they’re so talented and really don’t get enough ring time to show it, the new championship will be… the FFW Mixed Tag Team Championship.â€
“That’s right.†Adam said after the crowds stopped cheering and ODBing. “The belts will be competed over by teams of one man and one woman. People who want the belt will have to find a partner and come see us in our office before the main event tonight. Punk, you’re free to abandon your post if you want a shot so bad.â€
Punk just smiled and shook his head.
“Well that’s it.†Lily-Ann said. “And just so we leave you on a good note… ODB! ODB! ODB!â€
The crowd immediately jumped up and began screaming ODB! Adam and Lily-Ann shook their heads in amusement and mild disbelief and left the ring.
“Well there you have it, FFW is now home to the Mixed Tag Team Championship, something neither WWE nor TNA has.†Cole said.
“It’ll be interesting to see how the guys now try to woo the girls into teaming with them, especially after a lot of the ogling we’ve seen.†Punk said with a smirk.
“Miz is going to have his work cut out for him, that’s for sure.†Cole replied. “Can you imagine trying to convince Beth Phoenix to join you?â€
“What about Awesome Kong?†Punk asked.
“Ha, good luck with that.†Cole said.
Kevin Thorn’s entrance music began to play.
“Well anyway, we’ve got a match up next, and here comes Kevin Thorn. Punk, you’ve got quite a history with him, don’t you?†Cole asked.
“I’ve faced him plenty of times. He’s good, but a lot of his game is intimidation.â€
“He’s a follower of Vampirism, as we all know.†Cole said.
“That’s right. You really don’t want to lose to someone who will drink your blood once he has you pinned.†Punk said.
Thorn entered the ring and turned to look down the ramp, awaiting his opponent. After a few seconds, Rellik’s music began to play.
“That’s Killer spelled backwards, you know.†Punk said.
“Just had to get that in before anyone else, didn’t you?†Cole replied with a smirk.
“I’m just getting it out there, letting everybody know, that Rellik comes from spelling Killer backwards.†Punk stared directly at the camera. “Rellik is Killer spelled backwards.â€
“Ok, we got it.†Cole said. “Rellik is Killer spelled backwards.â€
“Killer inverted.†Punk quickly added.
Kevin Thorn Vs. Rellik
One Fall
Thorn and Rellik simply stared at each other, using their usual intimidation tactics against each other but having no effect on each other.
Rellik made the first move, running forward to go for his Sickle right off the bat. Thorn grabbed Rellik’s arm and harshly threw it back, spinning Rellik completely around. Thrown followed up with one hard right after another, knocking Rellik back against the ropes. Thorn grabbed Rellik and Irish whipped him across the ring. Rellik bounced off the ropes and ran into a big boot from Thorn. Thorn went for a pin for a two count.
Thorn stood up and yanked Rellik to his feet. Thorn went for a hard right, but was blocked by Rellik who retaliated with a right of his own. Thorn went for another right and again it was blocked and countered. Rellik followed up with two more punches before grabbing Thorn’s hair and throwing him to the mat face first. Rellik immediately jumped on Thorn’s back and proceeded to punch the back and sides of his head. The ref yelled at Rellik to stop and made it to a 4 count before Rellik rolled Thorn over and went for a cover. The ref didn’t start counting however, and simply continued to admonish Rellik. Rellik responded by getting up and advancing on the ref, who quickly slid out of the ring.
Rellik stared at the ref for a few seconds before turning back to Thorn. Thorn was already on his feet, and knocked Rellik over the top rope to the outside with a clothesline. Just as quickly as he slid out, the ref jumped back into the ring. Thorn, meanwhile, climbed out.
Thorn grabbed Rellik, dragged him to the ring post, and slammed his head against it. Rellik staggered away, and Thorn quickly chased and grabbed him again, this time slamming his head against the guard rail. The ref had begun his count, so Thorn rolled Rellik back into the ring. He climbed in and made a two count.
Thorn looked angrily at the ref but didn’t bother yelling. He got up, stared at Rellik for a moment, and proceeded to bend down to grab Rellik.
Suddenly, Rellik spit a mouthful of red mist into Thorn’s eyes. Thorn stumbled backwards blinded.
The ref immediately called for the bell, Rellik having been disqualified.
“The winner of this match as the result of a disqualification, Kevin Thorn!†Lilian Garcia announced.
Rellik slowly got to his feet, holding his head with one hand. He saw Thorn still reeling from the mist and ran forward for his Sickle. Thorn countered with a kick to Rellik’s gut, flowing into a Crucifix Powerbomb. Thorn simply stared at Rellik’s motionless body before continuing to rub his eyes of the mist.
“Well Kevin Thorn perhaps playing possum a bit, after that mist.†Cole said, calling for a replay. “Kicking Rellik before he could connect with that Sickle, and then hitting him with the Crucifix Powerbomb. What’s that feel like, Punk?â€
“There’s a reason it’s named after the most painful way to kill a person.†Punk replied.
“Point taken.†Cole said. “Now let’s send it to the back, where everyone is scrambling to find a partner for the vacant Mixed Tag Team Championship.â€
************************
Jamie Noble quickly walked down the halls, looking for any female wrestler he could find.
“Girls? Girls? I’m looking for some female girls!†He yelled out.
He continued on and eventually found Beth Phoenix and Melina.
“Oh good! Girls! Just the things I was looking for. Wait, that came out wrong.†Noble said. “Well whatever, whatever, sorry about that, you’re not things, you’re luscious curvaceous… whatever, look, there’s the Mixed Tag Team thing out now and I like championships and women, so would either of you girls like to team with me, get some gold and a powerful, sexy man to protect you?â€
Beth and Melina stared at Noble for a moment. Finally Beth simply jerked a little, as if she was going to attack, and Noble jumped away, covering his face with both hands. Beth and Melina laughed and walked past him.
“Gotta find a girl, gotta find a girl.†Noble said, continuing down the halls. He turned a corner and came across Roxxi Laveaux, who was stitching together what appeared to be a voodoo doll.
“GIRL!!†Noble announced, running to Roxxi. Roxxi looked up from her work and stared at Noble.
“As you know there’s the Mixed Tag Team Championship now, and well you know, you’re a dame and I’m a fella, so the two of us, we qualify, you see, so we go out there and we kick some guy and slap some girl and bing bang presto we’re wearing gold just like we’re married!†Noble said a little too fast. “What do you say??â€
Roxxi stared at Noble for a few seconds before spitting a cloud of green mist into Noble’s face.
“GAH!! Damn it, girl!!†Noble screamed, clutching his face. “Why does everyone do that??†With that, he stumbled away, continuing to complain.
Roxxi continued stitching her doll together for a few moments.
“Koooo-ooooo-nichiWAAA!!â€
Roxxi looked up as Curry Man did his dance-walk over to her. “Watashi no seimei Curry Man-des, King of Spice-des! Anzuru yori umu ga yasashi, Championship baka, wa shinanakya naoranai Voodoo Curry, toki?â€
Roxxi stared at Curry Man. Curry Man paused for a moment, trying to think of a way to overcome the language barrier.
“Curry Man-des.†Curry Man said, patting his chest. “Rocks Lav…ee…a…ucks?†He motioned at her. He then motioned to the general direction of the ring. “Akinasu wa yome ni kuwasuna Champions.†Finally, he made the title belt motion around his waist, and motioned between himself and Roxxi.
Roxxi stared at him, her face showing the slightest look of amusement at this attempt at communication. She tilted her head slightly and stared into Curry Man’s eyes, as if seeing something… interesting. Finally she simply stuck out her hand.
Curry Man enthusiastically shook it and gave a bow. “Domo!†He said, and did his dance-walk away.
Roxxi stared at him as he left, then looked down, thinking.
************************
“Well there’s the start of an interesting tag team, to say the least.†Cole said. “Well ladies and gentlemen; I’d like to take you back to last week, during the bout between Mr. Kennedy and Kurt Angle for the Number One Contender’s spot. If we could get the replay… okay watch this. Karen was standing on the outside apron, Kennedy went for a low dropkick, Kurt ducked out of the way and Kennedy… OW, knocks Karen off. You can see her head bounce off the apron as she goes down, not good at all.â€
“In all fairness, she was standing way too close.†Punk replied simply.
“Well be that as it may, Kurt is out in the ring now and as I understand it he’s going to demand an apology from Kennedy.†Cole said. “We’ll see how this goes.â€
“Kennedy!†Kurt yelled. “Last week, you knew you couldn’t beat me at my best, so you took my mind off the prize by viciously assaulting my very own wife. I’ve dealt with a lot of cowardly bastards in my life, but you take the cake. So Mr. Kennedy, Kennedy, I’m DEMANDING that you get your ass down here and-â€
KENNEDY!!
Kurt was cut off by Mr. Kennedy’s entrance music, and Kennedy began his walk down the ramp. Kurt paced from side to side, impatiently waiting for Kennedy to get in the ring. Kennedy climbed the steps, motioned for Kurt to stay where he is, and only when Kurt stopped pacing did Kennedy lower his head under the rope to get into the ring.
Kennedy walked to the center of the ring to face Kurt.
“So here you are. Apologize, NOW.†Kurt said, and thrust the mic into Kennedy’s chest.
Kennedy took the microphone and glanced at the audience for a few moments, stalling for time. Finally he locked eyes with Kurt and raised the mic to his mouth.
“It’s not my problem if your wife is a two dollar tramp without the sense to stay the hell out of the ring during a match!†Kennedy yelled.
Kurt’s face grew full of fury.
“You want an apology?†Kennedy continued. “Okay: I’m sorry it didn’t happen sooner in her miserable life. Because if it did she’d know not to come stand on the ring apron when she sees me coming to kick the crap out of you. And if she didn’t do that then you couldn’t make up some pathetic excuse that you lost to me because your head wasn’t in the game.â€
The look on Kurt’s face showed that the fact that he hadn’t attacked yet was nothing short of a miracle.
“But if, as you say, your mind wasn’t on the prize, your head isn’t in the game, I can help you with that.†Kennedy finished. With that, he wound up and gave Kurt a backhand slap across the face.
Security ran into the ring as the brawl quickly ensued. Kurt and Kennedy were dragged away from each other, desperately trying to break free and continue the fight.
Synchronicity then began to play, and Adam Florés appeared at the top of the ramp.
“Woah, woah, security guys.†Adam said. “I appreciate you doing your jobs and everything, but I think it’s more important that Kurt Angle and Mr. Kennedy do theirs. One of you refs, get in there, we’ve got ourselves a No Disqualification Match!â€
Kurt Angle Vs. Mr. Kennedy
No Disqualification Match
Security kept hold of Kurt and Kennedy until the bell rang. Once they were released Kurt and Kennedy charged for each other, both connecting hard rights that simply leveled each other.
Both Kurt and Kennedy scrambled to get to their feet. Kurt charged for Kennedy and flattened him with what could be called a spear, climbed on top, and proceeded to connect with closed fists to Kennedy’s head. The ref admonished Kurt for this to no avail, it being no disqualification.
Once bored of that, Kurt rolled Kennedy over and put him in an Ankle Lock, applied with such force he was screaming as he did it. Kennedy, screaming and already near the ropes, grabbed onto the bottom one with both hands, but it was no disqualification so there was no break. Kennedy clutched at his head in pain, desperately trying not to tap. Finally he grabbed the edge of the ring and pulled himself forward. He fell out of the ring to the floor, and Kurt was yanked forward and impacted the top rope with his neck.
Kennedy lay on the ground below, clutching his ankle in pain. Angle staggered for a while, holding his neck. Finally he realized what just happened and climbed to the outside. He advanced on Kennedy, but Kennedy suddenly struck him in the gut with a kendo stick retrieved from under the ring. Kurt stumbled backwards, holding his gut, and Kennedy followed up with another jab to the gut. Kurt screamed and turned around, stumbling away and still clutching his gut.
Kennedy pulled himself to his feet and limped after Kurt. He held the stick high and brought it down on Kurt’s back, knocking him to his hands and knees. Another strike to the back knocked Kurt flat on his stomach.
Kennedy tossed the kendo stick into the ring, grabbed Kurt, and dragged him to the steel steps. He set Kurt up in a sitting position with his head against the steps, and proceeded to rub his foot against Kurt’s head, mocking him. Finally he backed up a ring-length away and, with a slight limp, ran forward to kick Kurt’s head into the steps. Kurt rolled out of the way at the last second and Kennedy’s foot slammed into the steps. He screamed and fell to the ground, holding his foot in pain.
After a minute of the two just laying there Kurt managed to get to his feet. He grabbed Kennedy and rolled him into the ring before climbing in himself. He went for a cover and got a two count.
Kurt shook his head and dragged himself to his feet. He reached down and pulled Kennedy up, and went for a right hand. Kennedy blocked, connected with a right of his own, and went to Irish whip Kurt to the ropes. Kurt reversed it and sent Kennedy to the ropes instead. Kennedy charged for Kurt and went for a running high knee, which Kurt ducked under.
Kurt spun around and quickly connected with an Olympic Slam, slamming Kennedy onto the dropped kendo stick. Cover, three count.
“Here is your winner, Kurt Angle!â€
Kurt was not finished. He immediately reached down and put Kennedy in the Ankle Lock. Kennedy screamed and tapped repeatedly, to no avail. Finally Kennedy managed to roll onto his back, pull Kurt closer, grab the kendo stick and crack Kurt over the head with it. Kurt dropped to his back and Kennedy simply dropped the stick, not getting up.
“Wow, those two really hate each other.†Punk said.
“That was barely a wrestling match, it was just a brawl.†Cole added. “They just wanted to kill each other, simple as that. I can tell you right now that this is far from over. What do you think Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage is thinking?â€
“It’s a no win situation for him. Both of these guys are more intense than anyone.†Punk replied. “If this is what they do over pride, imagine what they’ll do to Christian when the title is on the line.â€
************************
Crystal stood beside Christian Cage in the interview space.
“I’m standing here with the first and current FFW Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage.†Crystal said. “Christian, I see you’re back from the burn unit following your Inferno Match with Kane.â€
“That’s right, Crystal.†Christian said. “You know, I’ve had to deal with a lot lately. Betrayed by AJ and Tomko, cheated out of championships, set on fire even though I already won the match and the Title. I guess you can say I’ve got some sense knocked into me over the past couple of months. If you’ve been following TNA you’d know I’ve been trying to make amends for all the bad things I’ve done to people, but I can only talk to so many people over there. Some WWE superstars are working for FFW too, so I’m going to take it even further and try to iron out some of the people I stepped on while I was working there.â€
Crystal nodded, an impressed look on her face. “Pretty noble of you, Christian. Any names in particular you want to give out?â€
“Yes I do.†Christian said, and looked directly into the camera. “For starters-â€
Suddenly Randy Orton stepped into view, shoving Christian away from the camera. Crystal jumped away and sidestepped between them, holding the microphone to both of them. Christian slung the title belt high on his shoulder in response to this.
“You know what, Christian? You make me sick.†Randy said. “You had everything going for you. Respect, the first FFW Championship, you actually beat Kane, KANE of all people, in the match that he created, an Inferno Match. You stepped up where two companies worth of superstars wouldn’t dare go. Nobody, except me of course, could even hope to touch you in that ring. But now look at you, going around telling everyone you’re sorry, talking about apologizing for things you did what, five years ago?
Randy stepped closer to look Christian right in the eyes.
“You’re pathetic.â€
“Is that so, Orton?†Christian asked, not backing away. “You just glazed over the most important part, that I am the champion because I stepped up where nobody else would. I did the stupidest thing you could possibly do in this industry: I stepped into an Inferno Match against Kane. Nobody else would do that, hell, nobody even SHOULD, there are much less painful ways to kill yourself. But the point is: I did it.â€
Christian stepped closer.
“Where the hell were you?â€
Randy gritted his teeth and looked away for a moment.
“Now you listen to me, Christian. I am not afraid to step into the ring with Kane. I’ve beaten down everyone there is to beat in the WWE, including him. I’ve ended the careers of countless superstars.†Randy said. “The reason that I-â€
Christian suddenly took a step backwards, and Crystal jumped away, almost hiding behind Christian. Randy looked behind him and found himself face to face with Kane. Kane locked eyes with Randy, motionless save for his deep breathing.
After a moment of this Lily-Ann stepped into view.
“I think there’s only one way to settle this.†Lily-Ann said. “Since the guys who were supposed to be Contender material don’t seem to care about anything anymore except killing each other, up next, for the title match against Christian in three weeks at Terminal Velocity, it will be Randy Orton against Kane.â€
Kane smiled his evil smile, and Randy gave Lily-Ann a ‘what the hell?!’ look.
Lily-Ann glanced at Kane. “Don’t enjoy it so much, that’s just sadistic.†She said in an amused tone and walked away. Kane just smiled wider.
Randy cursed under his breath and walked away.
************************
“Wow, things are heating up backstage.†Cole said. “And what a match at Terminal Velocity, Christian defending his title against either Kane or Randy Orton.â€
“Like choosing between a guillotine or a firing squad.†Punk said. “It’s lose-lose for Christian.â€
“Yep. The only thing he can really hope for is for Kane and Randy Orton to start targeting each other just like Kurt Angle and Mr. Kennedy.†Cole said.
Randy was the first to come down to the ring, then Kane.
Kane Vs. Randy Orton
Number One Contenders Match
Randy kept his distance, jumping from side to side to keep out of Kane’s grasp. Kane advanced, and Randy ran forward to lock Kane in a grapple. Randy immediately struck with knees to Kane’s gut. Kane broke the grapple and took a step back, but immediately connected with an uppercut as Randy tried to take advantage, knocking him to the ground. Randy quickly backed out of the ring and landed on the outside.
The ref told Kane not to follow and began his count. Randy paced back and forth, gritting his teeth, while Kane just smirked.
Finally Randy slid back into the ring. Kane advanced and went for a hard right. Randy managed to block it and went for a right of his own, but it too was blocked. Kane went for a second right and this one connected, knocking Randy against the ropes. Kane grabbed Randy and Irish whipped him across the ring. Randy bounced off and ducked under Kane’s big boot by baseball sliding out of the ring.
Once on the outside, Randy spun around, grabbed Kane’s feet, and yanked them back to drop Kane to his stomach. Randy immediately took advantage by grabbing one of Kane’s feet, lifting it up, and slamming it down against the edge of the mat. Randy grabbed the foot again, but this time Kane kicked Randy in the face with his free foot. Randy staged backwards and Kane pushed himself to the outside.
Randy bolted as Kane advanced on him, running around the ring with Kane in pursuit. Finally Randy slid into the ring with Kane right behind him. As Kane climbed up to the outside apron Randy connected with a standing dropkick, knocking Kane off the apron and knocking his head against the announce table.
Randy quickly jumped to the outside. Kane was just getting to his feet, and Randy connected with a European uppercut, knocking Kane around. Randy delivered a kick to the back of Kane’s knee, then to the other, knocking Kane to his knees. Randy then grabbed Kane’s head and slammed it against the table.
The ref had made it to three in his count, so Randy slid back into the ring. Kane began to get to his feet, having visible trouble standing, while Randy yelled at the ref to count faster.
Kane grabbed the top rope and stepped onto the outside apron as the ref made it to 8. Randy saw that Kane was going to make it and ran forward to attack, but Kane reached out and grabbed Randy by the neck with both hands. Kane lifted Randy high into the air, blatantly choking him. The ref abandoned his ten-count and proceeded to make the five-count for Kane to let go of Randy. Randy kicked at Kane’s gut with both feet, forcing Kane to drop him. As Kane was bent over a little from the kicks, Randy jumped forward, grabbed Kane by the head, and fell to the mat to force Kane’s neck against the top rope. Kane bounced off and fell to the outside.
Randy clutched his neck, gasping for air as the ref began his count. When the ref made it to four Randy jumped out of the ring. Kane was on his hands and knees, holding his neck with one hand, and Randy stomped hard on Kane’s hand. Kane fell onto his stomach, clutching his hand.
Randy proceeded to stomp on each of Kane’s ankles, his back, and his other hand. Randy then got down and rolled Kane onto his back. At this point the ref was at 8, so Randy quickly dove back into the ring, breaking the count, and then slid back out again. He walked to Kane’s head and jumped, going for his knee drop.
Kane suddenly reached up and pushed Randy away. Randy hit the ground ‘above’ Kane, and Kane pushed himself to his feet. He walked right up to Randy, grabbed him by the back of the neck, and slammed Randy’s head against the announce table three times. He then spun around and rolled Randy into the ring.
Kane climbed into the ring, and Randy was slowly pushing himself onto his hands and knees. Kane raised his hand, and once Randy got to his feet, connected with a Chokeslam. Cover, three count.
“Here is your winner, and new Number One Contender, Kane!â€
“That was a little close for comfort.†Punk commented.
“You can say that again.†Cole replied. “Imagine what’s going through Christian Cage’s mind right now, knowing that this man is his future at Terminal Velocity.â€
Kane’s pyro went off.
“I don’t envy him, that’s for sure.†Punk said, staring into the flames.
“Well ladies and gentlemen, the match for the Mixed Tag Team Championship is up next. Curry Man and Roxxi Laveaux are already in the match. Who will their opponents be? Let’s take it to the back.†Cole concluded.
************************
John Morrison wandered the halls. After a minute he seemed to find what he was looking for in Beth Phoenix and Melina.
“There you are!†Morrison said.
“It’s fine.†Melina said, holding up a hand in case Beth was to do something.
“Long time no see, Melina.†Morrison said, eying Beth for a second. “The mixed tag team title is up for grabs, and all we have to do is go through a walking soup advertisement and the end result of some college hazing. What do you say we restart MNM, more or less, and take those titles for ourselves?â€
“You might as well; you’ll never get the FFW Women’s Championship while I’m around.†Beth commented.
Melina sneered at Beth. “We’ll see about that.†She turned to Morrison. “It’ll be like taking curry from a baby.†She said with a rather sick smile.
************************
Adam and Lily-Ann now stood in their office, the teams of John Morrison and Melina and Curry Man and Roxxi Laveaux standing in front of them.
“Okay, this’ll work.†Adam said. “I was worried we’d have to deal with some equal rights thing with gay people trying to team for this championship.â€
“Wouldn’t they just go for the regular Tag Team Titles?†Lily-Ann asked.
“What would a team of lesbians do then?†Adam asked.
“Of course your mind goes right there, pervert.†Lily-Ann replied.
“Oh don’t play the innocent game, I saw you experimenting with Chelly in high school.†Adam retorted. “I think you only turned her lesbian because you knew I wanted to ask her out!â€
“If I didn’t turn her that way a date with you would have, I just gave her a shortcut to the same end!†Lily-Ann shot back.
“You could only DREAM of moving to the Netherlands so you could date someone as sexy as me!†Adam almost shouted.
Silence, and an awkward turn towards the two teams in front of them.
“…anyway, we need to go over the rules of this championship.†Lily-Ann finally said. “Titles change hands on a pin, doesn’t matter who. You don’t have to tag in your partner if your opponents tag in the opposite gender, so if you think you can take Morrison or you can take Curry Man, go ahead.â€
“Outside of that, treat it as a standard tag team match.†Adam added.
Morrison and Melina smirked at their competition before walking out.
“…do you think he understood any of what we just said?†Lily-Ann whispered?
“…you can go now. Go, goodbye, domo.†Adam said.
“Ahhhh haha, domo!†Curry Man said happily, and did his dance-walk out. Roxxi paused to simply stare at Curry Man for a second before following.
************************
Morrison and Melina came out together, the MNM video and theme playing despite the lack of Joey Mercury.
“Well it’s gonna be two-thirds of the former MNM, John Morrison and Melina, teaming up against Curry Man and The Voodoo Queen Roxxi Laveaux for the Mixed Tag Team Championship. I guess that would make them M AND M now.†Cole said. “CM Punk, what are your thoughts on this?â€
“Well I’ve never seen Curry Man or… what was it, Roxxi Laveaux?†Punk asked.
“That’s right.†Cole answered.
“Weird.†Punk said. “Anyway yeah, I’ve never seen either of them in action before so I can’t really say. But I can say that Morrison and Melina were very successful as MNM. They know each other inside and out, they’ve worked together, they can team up no problem.â€
“And Curry Man and Roxxi Laveaux, aside from never having teamed before, are both singles competitors.†Cole added.
“That’s right. And plus there’s the language thing, how are they gonna coordinate? If you’re asking me who has the advantage here, without a doubt, Morrison and Melina.†Punk said.
He’s hot, he’s spicy, he tastes great… Curry Man!
“Oh man.†Punk said, shaking his head. “I’m drug free but I don’t think this guy is.â€
“I’m pretty sure his only addiction is curry, Punk.†Cole replied with a laugh.
“Must be some pretty strong curry then.†Punk said.
“Fermented curry, maybe.†Cole added.
Roxxi Laveaux came down to the ring, and the match began.
M and M (John Morrison and Melina) Vs. Curry Man and Roxxi Laveaux
Mixed Tag Team Championship Match
Morrison and Curry Man started off. Morrison walked up to Curry Man, laughing. He motioned towards Curry Man and yelled something at Melina, making her join in the laughter.
Morrison turned back to face Curry Man and was greeted by a punch to the face. Curry Man followed up with more jabs, pushing Morrison away, before grabbing him and Irish whipping him across the ring. Morrison charged for Curry Man and ran into a back elbow. Morrison staggered back, but Curry Man kept on the offensive, grabbing Morrison by the head and hitting a jawbreaker off the curry dish on his head.
Curry Man proceeded to dance around the ring, riling the crowd up. Morrison got to his feet and Curry Man stopped his dance. Morrison went for a roundhouse kick, which Curry Man caught, but Morrison followed with an enzuigiri. Curry Man dropped to the mat and Morrison quickly got to his feet.
Even after the mild beating he endured, Morrison went right back to smirking at Curry Man. He reached down, grabbed Curry Man by the chin, and pushed Curry Man up onto his hands. Morrison gave a final laugh before hitting a closed hand punch right on Curry Man’s fake curry dish. Curry Man hit the mat again, holding his head. The ref admonished Morrison for this, which Morrison largely ignored.
Morrison pulled Curry Man to his feet and went for an Irish whip. Curry Man reversed it and send Morrison to the ropes, where Morrison jumped and hit a springboard dropkick on Curry Man. Morrison went for the cover and got a two count.
Morrison got down on the mat and put Curry Man in a half-nelson choke. Curry Man pried at his neck with one hand and reached out for Roxxi with the other, but he was on the other side of the ring. After about 20 seconds of this Morrison let go, leaving Curry Man to grasp at his neck in pain. Morrison smirked and offered a hand to Melina, who took the tag. She climbed onto the top rope and waited for Curry Man to get to his feet. When he finally did, Melina hit him with a seated senton. Cover, two count.
Melina just smiled at this. She pulled Curry Man to his feet and tossed him into her corner. Morrison offered a tag, but instead Melina took several steps backwards, almost to Roxxi’s corner. She charged and went for her double knee strike, but Curry Man ducked out of the way. Melina took the turnbuckle to her knees and hit the mat, holding her knees. Curry Man immediately began to crawl towards Roxxi. Melina ran forward to stop him and did, grabbing his curry dish as if it were hair and yanking him to his feet. She Irish whipped him across the ring, and Curry Man jumped and hit a springboard back elbow. Melina staggered away, and Curry Man dove forward and tagged Roxxi.
Melina, still rubbing her jaw, couldn’t act quick enough to dodge Roxxi’s lariat. Melina hit the mat hard. Roxxi went for a cover and got a two count.
Melina pushed herself up to her hands and knees, and Roxxi responded with a clubbing strike to Melina’s back. Melina went down, and this time Roxxi pulled her up. Roxxi hit Melina with an uppercut-like strike, then a hard right to the chest. Melina was backed up against the ropes, and Roxxi proceeded to put her hands to Melina’s chin and push. The ref made it to four in his five count and Roxxi broke the choke. Roxxi grabbed Melina and Irish whipped her across the ring, nailing Melina with a big boot when she came back.
Morrison had seen enough. He jumped into the ring and struck Roxxi in the back with a clubbing punch, grabbed her hand so she couldn’t go too far, and followed through with a shot to the back to knock her to the ground. The ref yelled at Morrison, demanding he get back in his corner, and Morrison did.
Melina, now on her feet, grabbed Roxxi by the hair and yanked her up. She ran for her corner and slammed Roxxi’s head into the turnbuckle. The ref immediately got in her face, yelling at her about hair pulling, while Melina yelled back to get out of the way so she could tag Morrison. Roxxi staggered away as Melina finally made her tag.
Morrison grabbed the top rope and slingshot himself into the ring, hitting a back elbow to the back of Roxxi’s neck. Roxxi hit the mat on her hands and knees. Morrison, ignoring the extreme negative reaction from the crowds, grabbed Roxxi and yanked her up, spinning her around to face him. He hit a kick to the midsection followed by an overhead Capoeira kick. Roxxi hit the mat.
Morrison then pointed at Melina and flashed a grin, and hit a Standing Shooting Star Press on Roxxi. He went for a cover and the ref made it to two, but was suddenly grabbed by the ankle and yanked out of the ring by Jamie Noble, who at some point had run down to the ring. The ref, now on the outside, screamed at Noble, who simply stood there defiantly. Morrison, holding onto the top rope in the ring, also proceeded to curse at Noble.
Roxxi took this distraction to run forward and tag in Curry Man. Melina yelled a warning at Morrison as Curry Man ran towards him. Curry Man grabbed Morrison and Irish whipped him across the ring. Curry Man ran forward and hit Morrison with a lariat, flattening him. Curry Man grabbed Morrison, yanked him up, and dropped him again with a standing side slam. He then ran to his corner and climbed the turnbuckle. The ref at this point got back into the ring and yelled at Curry Man and Roxxi, as he had not seen the tag. Roxxi simply tagged Curry Man and that solved that problem.
Morrison got to his feet, and Curry Man jumped off to hit a diving crossbody. Curry Man jumped off Morrison and proceeded to dance around the ring. As Morrison began to get to his feet Curry Man grabbed him and put him in the Spice Rack. After waiting there for a second, Curry Man followed through by hitting a facebuster. Curry Man covered and got the three count.
“Here are your winners, and new Mixed Tag Team Champions… Roxxi Laveaux and Curry Man!â€
Roxxi, still visibly reeling from the match, climbed into the ring to get her hand raised with Curry Man. Curry Man took both titles, handed one to Roxxi, and proceeded to dance around the ring with his. Roxxi simply stared at him.
“Okay, so I was wrong.†Punk said.
Cole laughed. “Well like you said, you’ve never seen either of them in action up until now. Nevertheless, what an upset! Curry Man and Roxxi Laveaux beat two people with years of experience teaming with each other.â€
“Yeah, but why was Jamie Noble out here?†Punk asked.
“That I don’t know, hopefully we figure that out soon.†Cole replied.
Melina and Morrison, Melina helping him stand, backed up the entrance ramp yelling threats at Curry Man and Roxxi. Curry Man responded to this by dancing more.
“But nevertheless, the ref didn’t end the match, so Curry Man and Roxxi Laveaux are the first ever FFW Mixed Tag Team Champions!†Cole concluded.
Quick Recap for the Lazy
Kevin Thorn defeated Rellik by disqualification
-Rellik was disqualified for spitting asian mist into Thorn's eyes.
-After the match, Thorn hit Rellik with a Crucifix Powerbomb.
Kurt Angle defeated Mr. Kennedy
-Angle pinned Kennedy after an Olympic Slam onto a kendo stick.
Kane defeated Randy Orton to become Number One Contender to the FFW Heavyweight Championship
-Kane pinned Orton after a Chokeslam.
Curry Man and Roxxi Laveaux defeated M and M (John Morrison and Melina) to win the FFW Mixed Tag Team Championships
-Curry Man pinned Morrison after a Spice Rack.
-During the match, Jamie Noble interfered on Curry Man and Roxxi's behalf.
So now i'll be doing this again, but updating when I can. And since i'll no longer be following exact dates, i'll let you know when PPVs are by referencing how many 'weeks' they are away, each week being one show.