The No Smark Zone 41: Its Draft Time and Kaedon's Cabana!

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Kaedon

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Laaaaaaaaadieeeeeeeeees aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand gentlemen. Welcoooooooome to the nooooooooooooooooooo smarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk zooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone. My name, is, Misterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Kenne......oh wait. I'm Kaedon. This week in the Zone were going to take a look at the upcoming WWE draft and we will visit my cabana!



The Draft
Much like in the NFL, I really look forward to draft time in the WWE. But this year, I don’t think its going to have as big an impact as it once did, at least not in the main event scene. This is because I believe, there are very few HUGE marquee match ups left in the WWE with Cena/Batista, Orton/Batista, and a few other ones that are debatable. Even if HHH and Edge switch brands, which will NOT happen, it wouldn’t be that big a deal. I think what is going to come out of this is a lot of mid card changes. And also, believe it or not, I don’t think SD is going to get fucked in this years draft because lets say MVP and Batista move to Raw, what does that do really? Not much because someone else will go there who can fill those spots quite well, be it Kennedy, Punk, or whatever. What I really want to see….well lets just get into it. I’m going to give you what I THINK will happen and what I would LIKE to see happen from my bullshit perspective.


What Will Probably Happen

Raw will get: Batista, MVP, The Big Show, Elijah Burke, Victoria and Valdimir Kozlov

SD will get: Umaga, Cade OR Murdoch, Shawn Michaels, and Ashley Mossaro

ECW will get: It doesn’t matter because SD and ECW are all the same soon to be RawCW.




What I would LIKE To See Happen

Raw
Batista: Because of the two “dream matches†that he could be a part of over on Raw. Also, its been a while since he has gotten into it with Trips, Jericho, and Kennedy.

MVP: Since he has never been on Raw, and he has been doing this contract thing, this would be the wisest move. His past with Matt would be a great way to kickstart a feud with Jeff. He also has history with Kennedy who is now a face. Plus, after he gets some more seasoning he can go after Orton, Cena, and HHH. And if, for some reason, the fans want him to turn face, he can feud with the man who put him over for weeks on end on SD, JBL. Every one of those would be interesting to me.

Chavo Guerrero w/Bam: If you are going to do this second gen star thing with Rhodes and Dibiasie, why not go all out with Chavo? Chavo could be an anchor for the group. He is a solid promo and he knows how to work a good match so he could help school the young guys.

Jesse and Festus or Hawkins and Ryder: Something Raw needs, if they plan to use them, is actual tag teams, instead of this makeshift bullshit. And either one of these teams would be great and it would be really good for the credulity of the draft to split up La Familia.




Smackdown
Umaga: A monster who can work is what SD needs. There was talk of him feuding with Undertaker but I guess that is out the window, but he could really still be of great use on SD. The best thing they can do is put him in a long term feud with Matt Hardy. A monster let loose on the United States Championship. He could also feud with the top babyfaces as well, be it Batista, Rey Mysterio and The Big Show (as well as Taker when he comes back)

Carlito: Ok so the shithead thinks he’s not getting enough opportunities, so let him go on SD and do whatever he wants. That’s where he debuted and won the US Title so fuck it, put him in a feud with Matt Hardy, it could be entertaining.

Chris Jericho: Yeah, I know he is a champion on Raw, but I think it would be great for SD because he is one of a few people who can work the mid AND upper card in great matches. It’s been a long while since the last Edge/Jericho feud.

Jeff Hardy: This Is for one reason and one reason only. Well, 2 reasons. One, because when he botches, which he inevitably will, it can be edited down, and 2 we could FINALLY get my Brother vs. Brother feud, and even maybe work in the BOD into it somehow!




So yeah there we go, my predictions and wants for the draft. Will they come through? I am very confident that some of them are. I really hope that they don’t really fucking waste picks on shit like SD drafting from ECW or vice versa.




Kaedon’s Cabana
So I am sure this is gonna piss off at least one member of the forum but I don’t really care. Carlito has been on a tear as of late complaining (once again) that he isn’t being pushed and could be used better and all this. Most recently, he has sounded off about the franchise of the WWE, Triple H. And I know that statement is gonna piss off so many others but too bad. Anyway here is what Carlito had to say about HHH


"I may get in trouble, but that's why I'm here. My opinion is that it was a smart move by [HHH]. I think that's why he's champion now and has been champion in the past, it's easier to him. We, the real wrestlers, don't depend on people in the business. We don't have that benefit. We have to deliver the maximum in the ring. Others are given championships in a plate of gold or platinum, I'm happy for him."


Ok, I know you are pissed that you aren’t getting the best opportunities (not like he has gotten NONE) but you don’t need to pull this bullshit. Here is something that Carlito and the Puerto Rican Liberal Media here doesn’t want you to know….Carlito started wrestling in 1999, in this father’s promotion. Not even a year later, guess what he was? Champion. That’s right, little Carly was pushed to the moon. And now, all of a sudden, personal relationships are bad? Fuck, I am almost willing to bet that he would not even have a job with the WWE now if it wasn’t for his daddy. So fuck him for that. AND THEN he says he has to deliver “maximum†in the ring. I guess HHH doesn’t go out and bust his ass every night. Most other champions have gone off the house show circuit as soon as they get that title and that spot, but not HHH, but no, you’re right Carlito, HHH is a fucking slacker and he only is where he is because he’s with Steph. Fuck you, you fucking malcontent. Maybe if you actually gave a fuck about what you are doing and didn’t just look like “eh whatever†they’d give you more than just a minute or two on the stick. HHH, Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Roddy Piper, even Ric Flair for fuck sake, all were jobbed out early in their career, and when I say early I mean for the first 3 years not getting a few small pushes and then having to put people over like Carlito does. If Bret Hart, Roddy, or any of those other guys got the push Carlito got a few times, they would have been over motherfuckers. So Carly, since you can’t seem to do shit and all you want to do is blame everyone but YOURSELF for your fucking problems, get the fuck off my TV and give Snitsky some more air time. Sure he’s a generic big man, sure he’s way more limited than you, and sure he cant really promo, but you know what, at least he acts like he gives a fuck. He’s got heart. He’s trying. All you’re doing is whining like a little baby cunt.



Ok now that I’ve vented, its time to say goodbye. Thanks for reading. Next week I will be back with Fact Or Fiction and, if all goes according to plan, another new feature. Don’t forget to read SP’s ECW and Raw reviews as well as my SD Review. So that’s it, I’m done get the fuck outta hurrr and cheer for the Celtics!
 

MikeRaw

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Kaedon=God...
Ok, I overexagerated... alot...But Im glad someone other than myself has agreed that what he said was ridiculous... Carlito had no reason to go on a rampage about Triple H, wtf does that prove? If you dont like him, fine... But if the whole point is to try and get the point across that your pissed, that still doesnt really bring Triple H into it...

For the rest of the column, it was good. I agree with most you said about who you want to go where, and you gave good reason. The only thing I didnt agree on was your statement about lack of marquee matches... Ive said all along theres quite a few left, and also, just cause a match happened in2001 (just an example) doesnt mean HHH/Jericho couldnt happen again. But its your column, and I agree with most. Good job as usual:thumbsup:

BTW, one of these days, I wanna be in fact or fiction:D
 

Wrestling Station

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:roflmao: @ Snitsky comment.


I dont like Carlito, its true that on another thread i said that he has style, but he always mumble backstage. Remember the footage they made last year between him and Flair? Flair actually said that he loves this business and he will do what it takes for it.

On a side note, Kaedon, wont you ever gonna change that Jake the snake sig i made you almost 2 years ago? lol and who's going to be on next weeks fact or fiction?

and thank you for the review, good read.
 

OsamaHussian

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Prwrestling added some more comments from Carlito and apparently he put over John Cena as someone who works really hard and goes worldwide to do promotions and stuff, while Triple H is sitting at home.

So I guess all the clips of HHH in the Middle East were taped in Stamford and edited into Tribute to the Troops, how very very clever.

And if it wasn't for him being the son of Carlos Colon, the most popular wrestler in Puerto Rico and owner of WWC he wouldn't even have a job with WWE to begin with.

So stop your bitching already!
 

The Rated R CMStar

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You know what makes Carlito look even more stupid. That he said that people like HHH doesn't come to advertise WWE to this places like Paraguay or Chile. Guess what, HHH is going to wrestle on the house show.
 

eggthief

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I still dont really see hbk going to SD!, he is raw in my eyes.
 

OsamaHussian

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You know what makes Carlito look even more stupid. That he said that people like HHH doesn't come to advertise WWE to this places like Paraguay or Chile. Guess what, HHH is going to wrestle on the house show.

No CMS, that's Triple H's stunt double.
 

Y2Jasmine

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I agree with alot of your draft picks, although I think it would be a good move to send Snitsky, along with Umaga over to SD, to make up for Show, then there will be someone to feud with Henry and Khali. I dont particulary care for Khali or Henry, but if they are going to use them then it should at least be with someone where it doesnt look like an absolute squash.

I 100% agree Jericho should be sent over to SD, where he can do the most good. I would look forward to seeing the inevitable feuds between him and Matt Hardy, then Edge, I think he could even pull a good feud off with Chuck Palumbo. The only thing I would miss, if what you would like to see came to pass, is a Y2J/MVP feud. I think at some point, that would be a hell of a thing to see.

And OMG, please, PLEASE someone, somehow, break up La Familia. Move Chavo and Bam, like you said, Have Face Jericho team up with (in going with your prediction) Matt and Jeff and maybe Rey, and take down the Edgeheads and Miss Piggy Vickie Guerrero. Someone needs to break this up. Its coming to the point where they have dragged it past the point of any TINY miniscule bit of entertainment or purposae it may have served, alot like the Teddy Long and Kristal angle did. And we all now what happened to them. Im not saying Edge would get any of the fallout because he wont.

If Chavo and Bam move to Raw, I dont think there is any way that the are going to send Hawkins and Ryder along. They wont completely rip La Familia apart, but I think they will take Chavo away and then hopefully let us see their downfall.

Victoria is good on Raw, let her battle Beth, other than that, it doesnt really matter, the same way it is like exchanging Malibu Barbie for Cheerleader Barbie.

Anyway on to The Cabana.

I used to like Carlito. Well no I used to NOT like Carlito. When he was putting forth the effort to get heel heat, it was easy to go along with him as the bad guy. Now, he is noticably putting forth much less effort than he used to. He needs to not worry so much about what Triple H is doing, and if he insists on comapring himself to Triple H, then he needs to look at the WHOLE picture instead of just where Triple H is now in his career. It took a hell of a long time for him to get from this:

blublood.jpg

to THIS:

thegame.jpg

and that doesnt even cover the years BEFORE he had even won a title, and that for a LONG period in between those periods pictures above, he was part of the most successful stable of all time. And the reason that IS, is becuase he took advatage of the little pushes he DID get, and now that he has reached the status he is at now, he may not realistically HAVE to work as hard as he used to, and yet, there he is EVERY week, even when he was not in the title picture, helping put the younger guys over. My point with all this is, Triple H has paid his dues in the business, helped bring it to what it is now, and at times carried the business when it was necessary, and what has Carlito done lately?
 

OsamaHussian

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One thing you can say about Hunter is, his nose has always stayed the same :yes:
 

KenFan4life

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Hey-everyone...check it out...heres my cyber-carlito-impersonation...


CyberCarlito-KenFan: "Yea...Fuck Kaedon!...He had to have sex with Jasmine for that mod spot...He doesn't even promote IWF in places like canada and minnesota and uhh....CenaMark54 and Mike Chaos go all over the world to promote IWF....while kaedon sits on his sofa-couch-possibly jacking it to a stiff-jbl match...ya-hEARED?!"


so thats basically how like Carlito views stuff and such...and I tend to somewhat Find it understandible...But I hate Carlito for other reasons....so its like whatever...he may aswell go out and leave the company in a blaze of Scott-Stiener-Like Glory and such...



Anyways...with The Draft...


I already posted my picks in the official "WWE-DRAFT" Thread...

so I'll just go with what I want to see come from the draft(like feuds and such)

Umaga-Undertaker on smackdown
Edge-Kennedy on smackdown
MVP-HBK on raw
CENA-Batista on raw
and like...yea-word...
 

Soulpower

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So I am sure this is gonna piss off at least one member of the forum but I don’t really care.

What??? The COMMISIONER, David Stern isn't going to get pissed off at this! Oh wait, you mean me >_>

I'm not going to get pissed of either. At least you put up a convicing argument to back up your opinions. It doesn't mean I agree with it, but you have your opinion, and I have mine. That's just not gonna change.

I should note, though... Carlito was HATED when he started wrestling in Puerto Rico. People in the crowd (Myself included) chanted to him about how he wasn't his dad. Those same people saw him improve A LOT in the ring and on the mic, to the point than when he did win the title, many he felt that he had earned it by busting his ass, and not just because of his father. Just thought I'd point that out.

I will say.. I find it odd that Carlito blasted HHH because he doesn't work house shows, despite the fact that he more than likely aware that HHH WOULD be wrestling on the shows outside of the US. TAKE THAT FOR WHAT ITS WORTH!

I pretty much agree with your draft picks, but I think Bam Neely should go to RAW alone. He ROCKS A F'N SUIT, so you know he's good. Bam Neely rules! End of story. And is there any way that Jeff Hardy could be drafted to like the moon? I think that would be a perfect fit for him >_>

Still, great column... I would add more on the Carlito thing, but something's not right here.
 

THE Brian Kendrick's Biceps

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I think you are about right with the draft choices, except for the fact that Carlito will be drafted to ECW (HHH wants Carlito dead >_>). Change for MVP would be good, and same for Umaga.

Anyway, on to your Carlito bit, there is another point I would like to add to your argument. You see, not only did Carltio almost instantly win the Universal Championship, he held the belt (wait for it) ... 11 TIMES IN FOUR YEARS. HHH has won 12 titles in 9 years .... yet HHH is clearly the one who has been favoured throughout his career. :smh
 

Kaedon

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What if Carlito was fucking the bosses daughter then! O_O