Royal Rumble The Grievous Royal Rumble Reflection 2017

[Grievous 3D]

Now...I was going to post this in the rate thread...but it seemed like a waste...
seeing as I put a bit of work into it...so here in its own thread is my Royal Rumble
Reflection for 2017.

+++

So...live streaming is a thing...I didn't really know what it was all about
until this morning. Thank you Solidus.

So...this is my take on the Royal Rumble 2017 as it happens...and before
I continue...I've always wanted to do this...

LET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRUUUUUUMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLLEEEEEEEE!!!

+++

And its Monday the 30th of January...and its 8:00am in the morning...

And the kick off show begins...and I feel sorry for Renee Young...having to put up
with Booker T, Jerry Lawler and HBK.

But in saying that...Dean Ambrose is a very, very lucky guy.
And it turns out Dean is in the "Social Media Lounge" tonight...

Okay...but I don't really care...

+++

And...its time for the opening match...the SmackDown Women's division gives us:

Steampunk Convention Mascot, The Twin With The Large Rack & Nicki Minaj
vs.
Trish Stratus 2.0, Milfie James & Crazy Cat Lady:

And as you can tell...I'm keen as mustard for this one!

Wow...Mickie James looks stunning...and so does Nikki Bella...white looks really
good on her. A six women triple suplex! Great spot! Hey...WTF? A commerical break?
Are you fucking kidding me? Get back to Alexa Bliss in her painted on shorts!!!

No comment...lol

I love nasty heel Mickie James...
Shame we have to listen to John O'Clock and Otunga Time...

Does Becky Lynch just exist so the heels have someone to beat up?
And now Naomi is on fire...

SPEAR BY NIKKI BELLA!!! SPEAR!!! SPEAR!!!

And now Naomi has pinned Alexa Bliss...a win for team face...which wasn't really
a surprise...Naomi is clearly Alexa's next feud...but will WWE give her the belt?

Highlights: Naomi getting her groove back, Nikki Bella looking bright in white...
Lowlights: Mickie James not really doing much, Alexa Bliss getting pinned...

+++

And now a KO/Jericho promo...seriously...these guys are brilliant together...and
while I'd rather see KO kicking ass on his own...Team JeriKO scores a perfect
11 out of 10 on the charisma scale.

+++

And now we have...

Adonis Caesar & the Riverdance Man (c) vs. Two Guys I Don't Give A Shit About:

Okay...so I don't really care about this tag title match...but that combined
entrance of Cesaro & Sheamus is fucking cool.

Now...I wonder if Gallows & Anderson can actually impress me in this match...
Gallows & Anderson should have "Nurse" Dana Brooke come out with them. I'd be
all for that.

Speaking of that idea...do you guys think WWE will ever sign the "Bullet Babe"?

Is it me or is the crowd kind of dead for this match?

Jesus...another commercial break...WWE...stop telling me to watch your network...
I'm already (kind of) watching it!

Swiss One Nine...that's a sweet name for that move...
Ref ate a Brogue Kick...Its swing time!

Holy Shit...Gallows & Anderson actually won the titles...
I don't care...Now hopefully Cesaro can move on with a singles push.

Highlights: Anything done by Cesaro, Gallows & Anderson actually winning...
Lowlight: Everything else...

+++

Dean Ambrose is here...and he looks like he just climbed out of a dump bin.
Does anyone else think Dean is handsome? Seriously...he's kind of hunky...

+++

And now we have...

Snoop Dogg's Cousin vs. The Samoan Amazon:

And of course remember [HASHTAG]#sashadeservesbetter[/HASHTAG]

Now I have to admit...I really hope Sasha wins this. Also...possible Emmalina
return may-be? I find it sad that Sasha is now on the kickoff show...it just
doesn't seem right.

And the match just started...and a fucking commerical break...WTF? Put these in
during the kickoff panel time WWE.

Bank Statement! Kind of...Damn...Nia broke it...And now Sasha's knee is playing
up...and Nia Jax beats Sasha. This is bullshit! Go back to NXT Nia!

The WWE better not have Dana Brooke defeat Sasha next...or I'll...I'll...bitch
and moan about it and keep watching.

[HASHTAG]#sashadeservesbetter[/HASHTAG]

Highlights: Any move landed by Sasha...
Lowlights: The fact this match only lasted 5 minutes, No Emmalina...

+++

Has Booker T been drinking?

And now Stephanine McMahon is on...and Seth Rollins is banned from the arena...
really? I'm not buying that.

+++

And here is 51 year old "Sexy Boy" Shawn Michaels...and I don't care...

+++

Okay...so my stream had some issues but now I'm watching Charlotte beating
down Bayley...I mean...

My Goddess (c) vs. Your Younger Sister's Cute Friend:

Thanks for the help Frosty...You rock! Shame I missed the entrances...Charlotte's
music always gets me pumped up...and aroused...

*Watches Match*

Wait...Charlotte is bleeding from the mouth...how dare you Bayley!

Time for the most beautiful Moonsault in the world...No blocked by Bayley...and...
Charlotte kicks out...because you can't win Bayley!!!

Charlotte hits the Natural Selection on the apron and gets the win!!!
16 - 0 on Pay Per Views...My Bae, My Amazon, My Goddess...How I love thee.

*Sigh*

Go home, write some poetry and play with your dolls Bayley.

Highlights: The Natural Selection on the apron, Bayley crying herself to sleep afterwards...
Lowlights: Missing the first part of the match, No Emmalina...

+++

And now we have...

Snark Owens Snark (c) vs. The Most Boring Wrestler Ever in a no DQ match
with the Clipboard Salesman in a Shark Cage:

And here comes Roman Reigns...Boos!!! Boos Forever!!!

*Watches Match*

That Frog Splash through the table spot was pretty cool...and Kevin Owens is
an amazing performer...but Roman Reigns is making this match as boring as hell.

Brass Knuckles and Reigns still kicks out...this is just getting fucking silly now.

I wish they'd stop cutting to the crowd...its fucking annoying.
A Stunner...and Roman kicks out again...

Is Seth Rollins going to show up?

Damn...that chair spot looked cool...but God...I'm actually getting sick of the
Superman Punches...and now Owens goes through the announce table.

STROWMAN!!! STROWMAN IS HERE!!!

And Strowman destroys Reigns!!! Owens retains!!! Yes!!!

ROAR!!!

Strowman vs. Reigns at Wrestlemania?!

Highlights: KO is always great, Strowman attacking Reigns...
Lowlight: Roman Reigns...

+++

*Shower Break*

And next up is:

Not Alicia Fox's Ex (c) vs. A Fallen Superhero:

And I'm gunning for Neville to win this...he needs to win this.

*Watches Match*

Is it me...or have the Cruiserweight Matches replaced the old "Divas" matches
as the toilet break match? The crowd could not give a "flying" shit.

See what I did there?
I know I'm not funny...

And Neville wins the title...with that brutal submission hold...Good...Now Neville
should lead the Cruiserweights in an all out attack on the RAW main roster...Sorry...
wishful thinking.

Highlight: Neville winning...
Lowlight: The crowd not caring...

+++

And now the biggest (Singles) match of the night...

The Phenomenal Redneck (c) vs. Nikki Bella's Boyfriend:

This is going to be good...you can just feel it...
Fingers crossed for a double turn.

*Watches Match*

And that was a great to watch...but...I hate the fact that Cena won. I guess Cena
will now defend the title in the Elimination Chamber.

The 6 are Cena, Styles, Ambrose, The Miz, Wyatt and Harper?

You know...say what you want about Cena...but Roman Reigns will never reach the
same level...no matter how bad Vince and the WWE want it.

Highlight: The entire match...
Lowlight: Cena winning...

+++

And now its time for the main attraction...and let's see who the "Shocking 8" are:

*Royal Rumble Entry List*
01). Enzo's Bodyguard ~ Big Cass (Enzo Cameo and Promo)
02). Clipboard Salesman ~ Chris Jericho (He spent so much time outside the ring it wasn't funny)
03). Discount Rey Mysterio ~ Kalisto (1)
04). Human Red Bull ~ Mojo Rawley
05). The English Gentleman ~ Jack Gallagher (2)
06). Perverted Candy Bar ~ Mark Henry (3)
07). Big Strongman ~ Braun Strowman
08). Mick Foley Junior ~ Sami Zayn
09). Slimfast Giant ~ Big Show
10). Perfect 10 ~ Tye Dillinger (4)
11). E.T. ~ James Ellsworth (Carmella Cameo)(5)
12). Manic Labradoodle ~ Dean Ambrose
13). Slayer Fanboy ~ Baron Corbin (Showed some slick moves)
14). Not Booker T ~ Kofi Kingston
15). Ego Trip ~ The Miz (Maryse Cameo)
16). The Riverdance Man ~ Sheamus
17). Not Stevie Ray ~ Big E
18). Ivan Drago ~ Rusev (Lana Cameo)
19). Adonis Caesar ~ Cesaro
20). Not Rich Swan? ~ Xavier Woods
21). Bayou Manson ~ Bray Wyatt
22). The Human Shark ~ Apollo Crews (6)
23). Mr. Venom ~ Randy Orton
24). Dirk Diggler ~ Dolph Ziggler
25). Son of Skinner ~ Luke Harper
26). UFC Drug Cheat ~ Brock Lesnar
27). Talk Box ~ Enzo (7)
28). WCW's Ryback ~ Goldberg
29). Walking Dead Grandpa ~ The Undertaker
30). Boring Pains ~ Roman Reigns (8)

~Rumble Highlights~
~ Brock got Bitched by Goldberg Again!!! Yes! Yes! Yes!
~ The Viper won it...Nice!
~ Baron Corbin taking care of Strowman...
~ Tye Dillinger showing up...put him on SmackDown please...
~ Strowman looking like a beast early on...
~ The Wyatt Family issues...

~Rumble Lowlights~
~ Fucking Roman Reigns...Vince Couldn't help himself...
~ No A.J Styles...
~ Tye Dillinger should have lasted longer...
~ No Samoa Joe or Finn Balor?!
~ No female entrants...
~ Undertaker looks really, really old...
~ Besides Tye Dillinger...the other 7 surprise entrants were pointless...
~ No Seth Rollins...

Honestly...this Rumble match was a let down...but...I think we all got
over-hyped...I mean when was the last time the Rumble really was a
truly epic well booked event?

Well...I'm done. Feel free to leave your comments, opinions and abuse
in the thread...thanks for taking the time to read this...and I'll see you
round the traps.

 

[Solid Snake]

Has Booker T been drinking?

Yes.

:

 

[Solid Snake]

Really good thread, as always. Enjoyed reading through your thoughts. I feel like the Rumble match should have been.... could have been... Well, we got what we got. :nogusta:

 

[Jacob Fox]

Dean Ambrose is here...and he looks like he just climbed out of a dump bin.
Does anyone else think Dean is handsome? Seriously...he's kind of hunky...

Yup.