Stojy watches WWE 2002

[Stojy]

WWF Smackdown
January 3rd, 2002
Washington, D.C.
​

Well, here we are, the first show of the year and let’s see if I can actually stick to something this time. The main things getting hyped up by the commentary team tonight (Cole and Lawler) is Booker T vs. The Rock in a number one contender’s match as well as The Undertaker defending the Hardcore Title against The Big Show.

Match One
WWF Tag Team Championship Match:
The Dudley Boyz (c) w/Stacy Keibler vs. Spike Dudley and Tazz

Can you believe it? We’re kicking off the new year with a wrestling match on a wrestling show, that’s different. Anyway, this one has come about because last week Spike Dudley and Tazz managed to defeat the current champions on last week’s episode of Smackdown. A tick to me for my research, I think so. They obviously play on the size differential between the two teams and Tazz is supposed to a bad ass which means Spike spends a fair bit of the match being thrown around the ring by The Dudleyz. Luckily, Spike, Bubba and D’Von all have fairly good chemistry together and work the brothers angle quite well. Eventually, Tazz gets the hot tag and kicks ass nicely, even managing to lock the Tazzmission on Bubba. At the same time, Spike is preparing to land the Dudley Dog on D’Von, when the amazing Stacy Keibler gets onto the apron to provide a distraction. Spike pulls her skirt down, but Stacy’s amazing ass (sorry, it’s true) distracts Spike long enough for D’Von to hand him over to Bubba, who had gotten rid of Tazz, to land a Superbomb for the victory. A solid start to in ring action for the year 2002. **3/4
​

Backstage, Lilian Garcia gets stuck with the unenviable task of interviewing Jazz. She made it pretty clear that she didn’t want to be interviewed, but she did say that she won’t sleep her way to the top, instead she’ll fight her way to the top of the division. She’s going to make an example out of Molly tonight and none of these blonde sluts can stop her. She’s never going to be cutting amazing promos, but she certainly made it believable that she’s looking to make a statement tonight.

Now we are reminded that last week on Smackdown, Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon was announced for the Royal Rumble. If my memory serves me correct, I’m looking forward to that one.

I guess that reminder was just a segue as now it’s Vinnie Mac promo time. McMahon comes to the ring and talks about New Years Resolutions and how his are to annihilate and embarrass Ric Flair at the Royal Rumble. In typical egomaniac fashion, he then switches gears and shows off the TIME magazine Man of the Year cover that went to Rudy Guliani. He makes it clear that he’s not a fan of Rudy winning the award and that he should have been considered for it. Because at this point in time, Stone Cold had broken fans, the “WHAT” chants are frequent here, and they make McMahon angry. He dares them to chant what one more time, stating that he’s so powerful that he’ll shut down the whole show. Obviously, the fans oblige, and Vince gets all the lights shut off in what is just a really cool visual. Suddenly, Austin’s music hits and McMahon screams for the lights to come back on, and when they switch on, Stone Cold is behind Vince. Austin talks about his own New Years resolutions which epically go a little something like this…

“Drink more beer… WHAT? Drink more whiskey… WHAT? Drink more tequila… WHAT? More vodka… WHAT? More red wine… WHAT? And kick Vince McMahon’s ass”.

I know the “WHAT” stuff wasn’t for everybody, but I loved the way Austin played off of it. Anyway, Austin now looks to corner Vince but Vince’s henchmen Booker T and Big Bossman run out and attack Austin. They beat him down and Bossman busts Austin open with some microphone shots to the skull. A pretty fun segment overall in my book.

Match Two
Jazz vs. Mighty Molly

No star rating for this one because it’s a squash which completely serves its purpose of making Jazz look dominant. I can’t wait until they start using Molly better later on in the year. Jazz finishes this off with a Fisherman Suplex which is turned into a Brainbuster. SQUASH.
​

Stephanie McMahon Helmsley is trying to get into the arena, but she’s stopped by a security guard. He tells her she’s not on the list but and she flips out, telling the guard that her husband Triple H is back in 4 days and then she’ll have power again. When she has her power back, she will fire the guard. I don’t mind this as some simple Triple H return hype.

Backstage, the WWF Undisputed Champion Chris Jericho hands out gifts to his friends, Christian, Lance Storm and Test. He tells them it’s for all the great things they have done in their careers. Christian sees right through the bullshit and asks if this act of kindness has anything to do with Triple H returning on Raw. Jericho laughs off Christian’s question, just stating that it’s great to have the kind of friends who watch each other’s backs.

Short and sharp backstage interview from The Coach with The Undertaker. He says he isn’t afraid of Big Show and tonight he will teach him about respect.

Backstage, Test still hasn’t opened his gift from Jericho and he’s trying to figure out what it could be, when the epic Torrie Wilson walks into the scene. Test tries to lay it on thick, giving Torrie the gift, saying it’s from him, and when Torrie opens it, it’s a Jericho t-shirt (which is awesome). Wilson doesn’t seem overly impressed and that angers Test, who tells her it’s the thought that counts. Test then says they should go out sometime, which Torrie declines because she’s taken. The lady killer that he is, Test says he’s not looking for a relationship, which doesn’t go down well. After being rejected, a furious Test demands to wrestle Tajiri later on tonight, because that’s who Torrie is dating.

Match Three
WWF Hardcore Championship Match:
The Undertaker (c) vs. The Big Show

I think the Hardcore stipulation definitely helped this one. Big Show ran to catch ‘Taker riding his bike up the ramp which made for a pretty fun/unique start to the match. They do some work with a trash can and trash can lid early on, with Show getting the advantage, until he misses a Big Boot and kicks the ring post. This allows ‘Taker to take the advantage, which he does by ramming the steps into Show’s now compromised right knee. Eventually they get back into the ring and trade off some moves, before Show attempts a Last Ride, but ‘Taker slips out and locks in the Dragon Sleeper for the submission victory. Very fun match, much better than I thought it would be. **3/4
​

This time Stephanie McMahon Helmsley tries to get herself into the arena by accompanying Mr. Dudley, but the security guard is onto it and doesn’t let her through. She then reverts to flirting her way in, but the guard tells her that he’s gay. On cue, Billy and Chuck then roll through and they hug and high five the guard, much to the dismay of Stephanie. The guard then tells her that Billy and Chuck should do a calendar. WHAT AWESOME FORESHADOWING~!

Match Four
Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle vs. Edge and Rob Van Dam

This one goes for approximately six minutes and considering the guys involved, it’s probably no surprise that it’s good. RVD has a pretty awesome run in the early stages, landing a few moves on both opponents, until after a Rolling Thunder, he goes up top for a Five Star Frog Splash on Angle. Unfortunately for him, Jericho pushes him off the top rope. This allows Jericho and Angle to isolate RVD, which is probably a good thing because I don’t think Edge was much of a good seller during this period of time. His facial expressions were terrible at times, imo, although not as bad as his psychotic 2004/2005 run. He admittedly had a really good run off the hot tag here, and I thought the finishing sequence was quite good as well. Edge tries to lock Kurt in the Ankle Lock, but Jericho makes the save, only to miss a Lionsault and get Speared by Edge. RVD misses a Split Legged Moonsault on Angle, but at the same time, Edge levels Jericho with the Edgecution. Angle sneaks from behind with an Angle Slam on Edge, only for Van Dam to Cactus Clothesline Kurt over the top rope and to the outside. This allows our Undisputed Champion (Jericho) to crawl on top of Edge and get the three count. Good match and best on the show as far as I’m concerned. ***
​

In the back, Ric Flair arrives because he’s a responsible co-owner who shows up late to his own shit. I mark for the Arn Anderson appearance though as he explains what happened earlier with Vince McMahon and Stone Cold. Naitch says he’s going to take care of Vinnie Mac tonight.

It’s Ric Flair promo time now which is never really a bad thing. As expected, he’s out to talk quite a bit about his match with Vince McMahon at the upcoming Royal Rumble. Flair gets intense as only he can, talking about how he’s going to gouge Vince’s eyes, kick him in the balls and make him bleed. Suddenly, there’s a commotion at ringside as Stephanie McMahon Helmsley tries to jump the crowd barricade. Security apprehends her but Flair tells them to let her go. Stephanie tries to suck up to Flair, saying when she was younger, she had a crush on him, before talking about how much she enjoyed watching him. I’m stealing this train of thought from something I read online but it’s hilarious to think of Vince allowing his kids to watch the NWA on TV. Doubtful lol. Anyway, after buttering him up, Steph says in the ring he’s the man, but in the business world she’s the man, and he needs her help. Flair goes into epic Flair mode and starts elbow dropping his jacket and going nuts. Steph cracks it and yells at Ric for thinking this is a joke, before slapping him across the face. That stops Flair’s fun as McMahon states that Flair has four days to decide if he wants her help, before The Game begins.

Match Five
Tajiri w/Torrie Wilson vs. Test

This all just stems from the segment earlier in the night where Test demanded to face Tajiri because he couldn’t steal his girlfriend. For the most part this is a squash, but Tajiri gets his moments with some of his epic kicks, and he bumps around really well like a small man should against the bigger guy. In the end, Test runs through Tajiri with his epic Big Boot to get the win. Take that, Torrie. Solid enough despite the almost squash status. **1/2
​

A promo similar to this one airs for Triple H’s return next week on Raw, but obviously it says next week, not Triple H returning tonight.

Triple H Returns Promo U2 Beautiful Day - YouTube

Before the main event, The Coach decides to have an interview with The Rock. The Rock asks Coach what he did for New Years, before making fun of him for liking Barry Manilow, including making him sing Copa Cabana. Eventually Rocky kicks coach out of camera shot, before running down Booker T and stating his desires to win the WWF Undisputed Title. I’d recommend for people to youtube this promo as well, one of The Rock’s best making fun of Coach ones, imo.

Match Six
Number One Contender’s Match
Booker T vs. The Rock

This was solid enough for the opening few minutes with Booker having the advantage, until they go to the outside and Rock sends Booker into the steel steps. Only after about four minutes, Vince McMahon comes down to attack The Rock and help Booker T, only for Ric Flair to intervene. Flair tosses McMahon into the crowd, and they brawl through the audience, allowing the match to back to a one-on-one contest. The Rock gets on top again and looks for The People’s Elbow after landing a Spinebuster, but Bossman intervenes. The Rock manages to overcome Bossman’s interference and land a Rock Bottom on booker to get the win, and pencil himself in to face Chris Jericho for the Undisputed Title at the Rumble. Solidish main event. **1/2
​

After the match, Bossman and Booker gang up on The Rock, until Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out to make the save and get revenge for earlier. Austin doesn’t get very far though as Booker drops him with a chair shot and Bossman/Booker stand tall over the iconic Rock and Austin to end the show.

I thought this show was solid at best. Nothing amazing but it wasn’t offensive and definitely watchable. The 3-star tag match was easily the match of the night, but there was still plenty of other matches that were passable. On top of that, the Flair/McMahon hype was good, Jericho/Triple H foreshadowing for now is okay, even though I know I’ll hate it eventually. Finally, a lot of Triple H hype on this show but that’s a good thing considering his return is on the next episode of Raw.

 

[Stojy]

WWF Monday Night Raw
January 7th, 2002
New York City, New York​

The commentators open the show by hyping a big-time tag team match tonight stemming from the actions of last week’s Smackdown. It will be Big Bossman and Booker T teaming up to take on the dream team of Stone Cold and The Rock. Also, tonight, we will finally see the return of Triple H, which means I get to enjoy watching the awesome ovation he gets once again.

The show opens up with Vince McMahon making his way to the ring, carrying a mysterious blue box, which looks like it’s wrapped up like a gift. Vince cleverly gets even more heat early on by saying he has something more important than Triple H’s return tonight to talk about. He wants to talk about his match with Ric Flair at the Royal Rumble, and he wants to talk about how some people say Flair isn’t in his league (what lol), but they are wrong. From there, Vinnie Mac plays a pretty awesome Flair tribute on the titantron, showing plenty of highlights from the 80’s and 90’s. Thanks for the library, WCW. Vince nags a little about the 5 stitches he required after Flair attacked him on Smackdown, before he finally reveals what’s in the blue box. Vince has a blond wig and a Flair robe and puts it on. He continues to mock Flair by strutting around the ring and pretty entertaining fashion. As expected, the imitation is interrupted by Ric Flair himself who is furious. Flair slaps the wig off of Vince’s head and demands him to take off the robe right now. Vince looks scared, doing as his told, only to pull out a lead pipe he was concealing, and he nails Flair in the head with it. Flair is busted open, and Vince beats on him some more, including ramming him into the steps and ring post. I kind of enjoyed Vince deciding to stop on the robe a little as well. More enjoyable hype for this angle.

Match One
Rob Van Dam vs. Test

A surprisingly quick match, or at least quicker than expected with the match going under four minutes. Probably not the best for a guy like Test, but in this short time, they still managed to squeeze in a solid showcase for Van Dam, and that’s all this really was. After getting frustrated with the way the match is going, Test brings a chair into the ring, only for Van Dam to nail the Van Daminator. He then heads up top and lands the Five Star Frog Splash for the victory. Okay match probably could have been something decent if given more time. **1/2
​

In the backstage area, The Coach is eagerly anticipating a chance to interview the returning Triple H when he arrives but is instead greeted by Kurt Angle. The Coach doesn’t seem all that interested in interviewing Angle, but Kurt insists he gets interviewed because he actually made it to the arena on time. Angle teases some big news and a big announcement he has to make tonight, bigger than anything Triple H could say. When The Coach asks what the announcement is, Kurt refuses to answer Coach’s pity questions. Damn I love Kurt.

We now head to one of those awkward WWF New York segments where Trish Stratus is approached by Terri Runnels. Terri decides to challenge Stratus to a wet t-shirt contest, going as far as to say that Trish doesn’t measure up. Stratus accepts the challenge. It’s not exactly the women’s revolution or women’s empowerment but if there were ever two women, I’d want to see in a wet t-shirt contest in this time period, these would be the two.

Match Two
Albert and Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Billy and Chuck

I was always taught that if I had nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all, so I’ll keep this brief. I like Albert and I dug the Billy and Chuck gimmick, but this match wasn’t particularly good. I’d go as far as to say it was bad. Scotty actually looked like he might be ready to win when he was set to hit The Worm on Billy, but Chuck managed to pull him out of the way. Chuck is then able to keep Albert occupied, as Billy gets the win with the Fameasser on Scotty. Not good. *1/2​

Backstage, it’s time for Michael Cole to do his best to interview Stone Cold Steve Austin. As with everything Austin does in this time period, there a plenty of “WHAT” chants. Austin previews what he’s about to talk about by saying he has three things to discuss tonight. First, Triple H is back but he doesn’t want to wish him luck because he’s coming back from an injury. Second, he announces that he will be in the Royal Rumble, and he’ll throw 29 other guys over the top rope. Finally, he and The Rock will whip Booker and Bossman’s ass tonight, but of course, he plays with the “WHAT” chants in fun fashion yet again…

“Two sumbitches… WHAT? Two sumbitches… WHAT? Two sumbitches… WHAT? Two sumbitches gonna’ get their ass whipped tonight”.

Match Three
WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
Edge (c) vs. Lance Storm

This one is a weird one as it’s probably getting quite a high rating despite the fact that it went for less than two minutes. I’d argue you wouldn’t find many better short matches than this. Really fun stuff with a lot of great reversals up until the finish where after reaching the ropes to break a Maple Leaf, Edge was able to land the Edgecution to get the win. Really fun but to short, definitely made me want to see these guys get some more time in the future. It’s a shame that they probably won’t. **1/4​

As Edge backed his way up the ramp, celebrating with his Intercontinental Title, he gets attacked from behind and knocked unconscious by William Regal and some brass knucks. THE POWER OF THE PUNCH~! I’m so down for an Edge/Regal program here.

In the backstage area, Kurt Angle is having a conversation with Christian and he’s still pretty unhappy with all the hype surrounding Triple H’s big return tonight. Angle doesn’t understand what the big deal about Triple H is. He even goes as far to ask where Triple H was when Kurt saved the WWF from the Alliance. Christian says that he thinks Triple H was listening to the U2 CD, which is awesome because “Beautiful Day” by U2 has been backing the Triple H return hype videos. Angle then hilariously scoffs at that, stating that it was a beautiful day when he won his gold medals, or when he won the WWF Title. Angle then gets a little more personal, saying Triple H was out for eight months after a torn quad, because he’s a wuss. Kurt says that he tore his quad this morning but he’s still here. Kurt was phenomenal here, plays a douche so well.

Match Four
Big Bossman and Booker T vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock

My original thoughts were a bit of surprise that this wasn’t the main event, however I think the match placement makes a lot of sense here. It allows the fans to go nuts over two of the all-time greats, and then gives the fans time to get their second wind, before going nuts for the Triple H return at the end of the show. Smart show structuring. As for the match itself, which is what I’m supposed to be talking about, I thought it was solid. As I expected, Rock and Austin come out like a house on fire, until Bossman low bridges The Rock over the top rope and hits him with the nightstick on the outside. This allows Booker and Bossman to isolate The Rock, and I honestly thought the performances of Rock and Bossman in particular were quite good here. After receiving a beating and spending nearly the entire match in the ring, The Rock avoids a Scissors Kick and drills Booker with a DDT. The hot tag happens, and Austin runs roughshod, before The Rock is back in to take care of Booker T. Bossman looks to use the nightstick again, this time on Austin, but Stone Cold avoids it and nails the Stunner for the victory. Austin literally barely did anything and then came in and finished things off. Interesting match structure, but the big names carried it. **3/4

Match Five
Chris Jericho vs. Rikishi

Two matches in a row? Is this sports entertainment or professional wrestling? I thought Jericho bumped around nicely for Rikishi in the early stages, before he goaded him to the outside and sent him into the ring post. Jericho’s domination doesn’t last long as Rikishi fights back with a Samoan drop, and eventually looks set to try the Bonzai Drop. Once he’s up top, Nick Patrick gets in the way because he’s still rolling with the crooked referee gimmick at this point. Jericho manages to roll away thanks to Patrick, but Rikishi gives him karma, because Jericho avoids the Stinkface, but Patrick doesn’t. After the Stinkface which of course gets a huge pop, Rikishi comes out of the corner only to be hit in the head with one of the title belts by Jericho. That’s enough to finish things off with the dodgy referee counting to three, even though The Kish clearly gets a shoulder up. Another solid match, although less so than the previous one. **1/2​

In the backstage area, The Big Show is talking to Tajiri and Torrie Wilson and the topic: more Triple H return hype. The Big Show is all excited about Triple H returning, talking about how he raises the bar for everybody. This kind of annoys me If I’m honest. Triple H/Big Show have had issues in the past for a giant to just be all happy like this really annoys me. Plus, there’s some guys on the roster who’re better so not sure Triple H is really raising the bar, but that’s me being nit-picky. They get interrupted by Kurt Angle (thankfully) and Kurt calls them a bunch of fan boys. He says that Triple H is a horrible person and then asks or was it somebody else who was bashing people in the head with a sledgehammer? Show just looks like an idiot here whilst Kurt makes the most sense. Not a fan of the way this panned out at all.

In another area in the back, The Dudleyz bully Spike Dudley, mocking him and whatever, until Spike’s partner Tazz appears. Tazz wonders why The Dudleyz still have a chip in their shoulder, and D’Von pretty coolly challenges them to knock it off. They trade words with Tazz telling them that they have forgotten where they all came from (ECDUB, ECDUB, ECDUB), but Bubba says they didn’t forget and reuses the old “BEAT US IF YOU CAN”, and Tazz finishes off with the “SURVIVE IF WE LET YOU”. For those who frequent the BTB section, you’d know I’m a big time ECW guy, which means I enjoyed the hell out of this. A nice tension builder.

Match Six
WWF Tag Team Championship;
Hardcore Match:
The Dudley Boyz (c) w/Stacy Keibler vs. Spike Dudley and Tazz

Another relatively short match but another one that I thought was pretty solid. Considering the result of this one, I like this taking the “in ring main event” spot of the evening. Plenty of violence which really made this feel like a Hardcore match. Bubba whipping Spike with a tag team title, Tazz copping a nice cookie sheet shot, the obligatory fire extinguisher spot, stop signs, trash can lid, plenty of harmless fun. Spike gets tossed away after attempting a Dudley Dog on Bubba, but then before he can attack Tazz, Bubba is distracted by Stacy Keibler on the apron. She’s showing her ass again, trying to distract Tazz. Instead, Bubba is Suplexed onto a table by Tazz but it’s sort of just his head hitting the edge of the table. That shit would have hurt and I’ve no idea if the spot was meant to go down like that. Anyway, that was brutal and then a Dudley Dog through the table follows for Spike and Tazz to become tag champs. Solid stuff, another that could have done with some more time. I appreciate the fact that they’ve built this issue between The Dudleyz and Spike for a bit now, and this felt like the appropriate pay off. **3/4​

We get some more Triple H return hype here, with a quick promo from The Undertaker. He talks about how nobody actually respects Triple H, and they all want to see him get injured again. Savage. If a lot of the backstage stuff about Hunter during his in-ring career is true, I wonder how many people actually thought exactly the same as ‘Taker’s promo here? Anyway, he finishes off by giving Triple H a reminder that he runs the yard and announces that he’ll be in the Royal Rumble. Good stuff from ‘Taker here, although I enjoyed most of his mic work with The American Badass gimmick.

I completely forgot about the wet t-shirt stuff if I’m honest. Anyway, they both come out in white t-shirts because it should actually be illegal to wear anything else to a wet t-shirt contest. I know this is the sort of stuff a lot of people are happy women in wrestling have moved away from, as am I, but I still think this segment served its purpose. They hit their key demographic with Terri’s fake, wet tits, and then Jazz gets MAJOR heat by attacking Trish before she can, erm, get wet. Hypes their feud well, whilst still delivering on at least some portion of the wet t-shirt stuff. Degrading for sure, but I’ll take the Trish/Jazz hype.

And now it’s time for what they’ve been building towards for the last two shows, the return of Triple H. I remember as a youngster being taken aback by the ovation Triple H gets during his entrance. It honestly gives me shivers and I’d recommend anybody to go see it. However, being that he is Triple H, he milks it with posing and whatever for about 4-5 minutes, and by the end of it, the crowd are no longer as excited. Kind of feels like he killed the crowd doing to much, which is a little disappointing and not something I remembered. Short and sharp with some cool delivery as Triple H states “I am The Game. You can bet your ass I’m back”! He then goes on to announce that he will be in the Royal Rumble. For me, the segment took a massive turn in the right direction when Triple H was interrupted by Kurt Angle. Kurt wonders who the hell Triple H thinks he is, and pissed on his injury, stating that he won a gold medal with a broken freaking neck. Kurt tries to overshadow Triple H, stating that he will be in the Royal Rumble for the first time ever. The final dig is what gets it for me, awesome work from Kurt when he says he would have entered the Rumble last year, but he was to busy pinning Triple H to retain the WWF Title. Awesome. A furious Triple H then attacks Kurt and they brawl a little until Hunter drops Angle with the Pedigree. Triple H celebrates, looking on top of the world to end the show, as he should in his return. Good ending to the show.

A solid show. I continue to enjoy the Vince/Flair stuff, and I thought the Triple H return, was hyped well throughout the night, and then certainly delivered (mainly thanks to Kurt as Hunter did his best to kill the crowd). The tag title change was certainly a highlight for me, and there wasn’t anything here that I found to offensive.

 

[Sky]

"Using Molly better" in the same year where she was treated as a heel for having a big ass?