Soulpower
Guest
Greetings, wrestling fans, and welcome to this week's RAW review. Last week, John Cena and Batista won the tag titles (Even though they didn't need them!) and this week, they'll defend them against Rhodes and Dibiase. Also on tap, Kane reveals the contents of his HUGE SACK (Too easy >_>).
On to the review!!!
We start the show off with John Cena. He runs down the "happenings" of the past week, and then proceeds to call out Batista. Cena talks about how Batista was groomed by the likes of HHH and Ric Flair, while Cena only had the chance to work with Angle, Lesnar, Taker, and Jericho (Ok, he didn't say that last part). Cena says that people are wondering who the better man is, and that at Summerslam, it will be him.
Batista retorts by saying that everyone over the age of 15 (Oh snap!), wants to see him beatdown Cena. Batista says that HE will answer the question at Summerslam, and the answer will be... him. We get a stare down, and a hand shake.
COMMERCIALS!!! Featuring The Scorpion King II, with a former Power Ranger as the SK, and Randy Couture as the bad guy... WHY?!?
We are back and WWE pimps how they won some awards that you've probably never heard about. Time for our first match of the night.
Beth Phoenix vs Kelly Kelly
Santino is on commentary. Just when it looks like Kelly has improved... She botches a Back-Body Drop and almost kills herself on the way down. She does counter a Press Slam into a Sunset Flip, but only gets a 2 count. Beth hits The Glam Slam a while later, and this one is over!
Winner:Beth Phoenix
Post-Match, Santino wants to send a message to Kofi and Mickie, via destroying Kelly. Kingston and James makes the save, and Santino challenges Mickie to a match.
COMMERCIAL!!!
Santino Marella vs Mickie James
A quick exchange of holds at the start. Santino slams Mickie, but misses a Double Knee Drop. Santino asks for time, but Mickie goes after the knee. The ref separates the two, and Santino goes after Kofi. With the ref distracted, Beth comes in and tosses Mickie into the ring post. Santino sees his chance, and gets a roll-up for the win.
Winner:Santino Marella
Post-Match, Santino does his usual over the top celebration.
Backstage, Adamle is talking to Grisham when Kane walks in. Mike makes a match between Kane and Chris Jericho for tonight, and tells Kane he's going to want the bag after the match. Kane says that Adamle is making a BIG mistake.
COMMERCIAL!!!
We get retro footage (Courtesy of WWE 24/7) of Tito Santana and Ivan Putski defeating the Valiant Brothers for the Tag Titles many moons ago. Cody and Dibiase are backstage, and they cut a promo about them winning back the tag titles because they're a TEAM!!!
COMMERCIAL!!!
Cryme Tyme make their way to the ring, and they will face The Highlander, who are in fact still employed!
Cryme Tyme vs The Highlanders
This was a squash, plain and simple. Cryme Tyme get the win after Shad hits an STO on Robbie.
Winners:Cryme Tyme
ANOTHER F"N COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!
JBL's challenge for CM Punk
We are back, and it is time for JBL's super secret challenge for CM Punk. Punk comes out and mentions how he used to watch Summerslam, and how he plans to walk out of SS as the champion. JBL mentions that Punk has talent, but that he also has only 6 days left as World Heavyweight Champion. The contest turns out to be... A drinking contest. Punk says he's ready to check his body at the door come Summerslam, but that he will NOT compromise his beliefs for a drinking contest. Punk tosses the drink into JBL's face, then hits the Running Knee of DOOM to end the segment.
Guess what? COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back, and we get footage of Shawn Michaels' interview from last week. Time for our next match.
Kane vs Chris Jericho W/Lance Cade
Kane dominates early, until Cade distracts him, which allows Jericho to hit The Springbaord Dropkick. Jericho applies a Half-Nelson, but Kane powers out and hits a Side Slam. Kane goes for a Clothesline in the corner, but Jericho gets the boot up. Chris goes for a Roll-Up, and turns it into a Walls of Jericho attempt. Kane dodges the attempt and hits yet another Side Walk Slam. Kane goes up top, but Jericho follows suit and tries for a Superplex. Kane shoves him off and hits the Top Rope Clothesline. THE Mike Adamle comes out with security, as Kane hits a Big Boot on Jericho. Kane grabs the sack, but walks into The Codebreaker which is enough to give Jericho the win.
Winner:Chris Jericho
Post-Match, THE Adamle gets in the ring, and tells Kane to hand over the bag. Mike says the he knows its Kane's mask that's in the bag. Kane grabs the mask, and admits that there is a mask inside the bag. He says that the owner of the mask has been scarred, tortured and damaged beyond all human recognition... BUT ITS NOT HIS MASK! Its actually, Rey Mysterio's (RUSSO SWERVE'D!!!). Kane laughs and walks away.
COMMERCIAL!!!
Jamie Noble vs Willam Regal
This match is happening due to the pull-apart brawl from last week. Regal kicks Noble's ass early with knee strikers. Noble makes a comeback and hits a Cannonball Senton, followed by a Crossbody from the top rope. Jamie runs into a T-Bone Suplex, which Regal follows up with a stiff knee strike to the head, and this one is over!
Winner:William Regal
We get the Smackdown Rebound, which was all about Edge being awesome.
COMMERCIAL!!
Cole and Lawler run-down the Summerslam card, and we get the results of tonight's poll question (Who's the biggest star between Cena and Batista). Cena wins by a LANDSLIDE. Cena and Batista make their respective entrances.
COMMERCIAL!!!
John Cena & Batista vs Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase (World Tag Team Titles)
Cena and Batista argue about who will start. Batista starts, but he immediately tags in Cena. The heels beat him down, and Rhodes starts to work over Cena. Cody misses a Clothesline, which leads to a Shoulder Block, a Spin-Out Power Bomb, and a 5-Knuckle Shuffle (Complete with taunting Batista).
COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back, and Dibiase has Cena in a Headlock. Cena manages to fight out of it, and leaps to tag in Batista. He comes in and cleans house, then goes for a Batista Bomb on Dibiase, but Cena drags out Dibiase and confronts Batista. Cena is sent back to the corner by the ref, which allows Cody to hit a Chop Block on Batista. The Chop Block does NOTHING, as Batista hits a Powerslam just moments later. He tags in (Slaps in, actually) Cena, who once again confronts Batista. Dibiase shoves Cena into Batista, rolls-up Cena and we have NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!
Winners
Rhodes and Ted Dibiase
Post-Match, Dibiase and Rhodes try to attack Cena and Batista, but they get their asses kicked instead. Cena begins to walk away, but Batista tells him to get back in the ring. Cena obliges, and the security dudes from earlier get in the ring to keep them apart. They managed to have a short (And shitty) brawl, with the higlight being John Cena falling on his ass when he was being separated.
That ends the show, at 11:00 PM (No overrun?)
Overall Thoughts:For a "go-home" show, this was pretty bad. Rhodes and Dibiase getting back the titles was the only good thing (It seems someone realized how STUPID it was to have them drop the belts). The Punk-JBL segment was ok, but nothing mind-blowing. The swerve in the Kane angle could be good if done right, but it still felt like a swerve for the sake of a swerve. The fact that all matches were incredibly short, didn't help the show.
Thumbs down for this week's RAW.
Remember to read Kaedon's NSZ and his SD review, as well as BKB's Hard Justice Review.
That's it for this week, I am out!
On to the review!!!
We start the show off with John Cena. He runs down the "happenings" of the past week, and then proceeds to call out Batista. Cena talks about how Batista was groomed by the likes of HHH and Ric Flair, while Cena only had the chance to work with Angle, Lesnar, Taker, and Jericho (Ok, he didn't say that last part). Cena says that people are wondering who the better man is, and that at Summerslam, it will be him.
Batista retorts by saying that everyone over the age of 15 (Oh snap!), wants to see him beatdown Cena. Batista says that HE will answer the question at Summerslam, and the answer will be... him. We get a stare down, and a hand shake.
COMMERCIALS!!! Featuring The Scorpion King II, with a former Power Ranger as the SK, and Randy Couture as the bad guy... WHY?!?
We are back and WWE pimps how they won some awards that you've probably never heard about. Time for our first match of the night.
Beth Phoenix vs Kelly Kelly
Santino is on commentary. Just when it looks like Kelly has improved... She botches a Back-Body Drop and almost kills herself on the way down. She does counter a Press Slam into a Sunset Flip, but only gets a 2 count. Beth hits The Glam Slam a while later, and this one is over!
Winner:Beth Phoenix
Post-Match, Santino wants to send a message to Kofi and Mickie, via destroying Kelly. Kingston and James makes the save, and Santino challenges Mickie to a match.
COMMERCIAL!!!
Santino Marella vs Mickie James
A quick exchange of holds at the start. Santino slams Mickie, but misses a Double Knee Drop. Santino asks for time, but Mickie goes after the knee. The ref separates the two, and Santino goes after Kofi. With the ref distracted, Beth comes in and tosses Mickie into the ring post. Santino sees his chance, and gets a roll-up for the win.
Winner:Santino Marella
Post-Match, Santino does his usual over the top celebration.
Backstage, Adamle is talking to Grisham when Kane walks in. Mike makes a match between Kane and Chris Jericho for tonight, and tells Kane he's going to want the bag after the match. Kane says that Adamle is making a BIG mistake.
COMMERCIAL!!!
We get retro footage (Courtesy of WWE 24/7) of Tito Santana and Ivan Putski defeating the Valiant Brothers for the Tag Titles many moons ago. Cody and Dibiase are backstage, and they cut a promo about them winning back the tag titles because they're a TEAM!!!
COMMERCIAL!!!
Cryme Tyme make their way to the ring, and they will face The Highlander, who are in fact still employed!
Cryme Tyme vs The Highlanders
This was a squash, plain and simple. Cryme Tyme get the win after Shad hits an STO on Robbie.
Winners:Cryme Tyme
ANOTHER F"N COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!
JBL's challenge for CM Punk
We are back, and it is time for JBL's super secret challenge for CM Punk. Punk comes out and mentions how he used to watch Summerslam, and how he plans to walk out of SS as the champion. JBL mentions that Punk has talent, but that he also has only 6 days left as World Heavyweight Champion. The contest turns out to be... A drinking contest. Punk says he's ready to check his body at the door come Summerslam, but that he will NOT compromise his beliefs for a drinking contest. Punk tosses the drink into JBL's face, then hits the Running Knee of DOOM to end the segment.
Guess what? COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back, and we get footage of Shawn Michaels' interview from last week. Time for our next match.
Kane vs Chris Jericho W/Lance Cade
Kane dominates early, until Cade distracts him, which allows Jericho to hit The Springbaord Dropkick. Jericho applies a Half-Nelson, but Kane powers out and hits a Side Slam. Kane goes for a Clothesline in the corner, but Jericho gets the boot up. Chris goes for a Roll-Up, and turns it into a Walls of Jericho attempt. Kane dodges the attempt and hits yet another Side Walk Slam. Kane goes up top, but Jericho follows suit and tries for a Superplex. Kane shoves him off and hits the Top Rope Clothesline. THE Mike Adamle comes out with security, as Kane hits a Big Boot on Jericho. Kane grabs the sack, but walks into The Codebreaker which is enough to give Jericho the win.
Winner:Chris Jericho
Post-Match, THE Adamle gets in the ring, and tells Kane to hand over the bag. Mike says the he knows its Kane's mask that's in the bag. Kane grabs the mask, and admits that there is a mask inside the bag. He says that the owner of the mask has been scarred, tortured and damaged beyond all human recognition... BUT ITS NOT HIS MASK! Its actually, Rey Mysterio's (RUSSO SWERVE'D!!!). Kane laughs and walks away.
COMMERCIAL!!!
Jamie Noble vs Willam Regal
This match is happening due to the pull-apart brawl from last week. Regal kicks Noble's ass early with knee strikers. Noble makes a comeback and hits a Cannonball Senton, followed by a Crossbody from the top rope. Jamie runs into a T-Bone Suplex, which Regal follows up with a stiff knee strike to the head, and this one is over!
Winner:William Regal
We get the Smackdown Rebound, which was all about Edge being awesome.
COMMERCIAL!!
Cole and Lawler run-down the Summerslam card, and we get the results of tonight's poll question (Who's the biggest star between Cena and Batista). Cena wins by a LANDSLIDE. Cena and Batista make their respective entrances.
COMMERCIAL!!!
John Cena & Batista vs Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase (World Tag Team Titles)
Cena and Batista argue about who will start. Batista starts, but he immediately tags in Cena. The heels beat him down, and Rhodes starts to work over Cena. Cody misses a Clothesline, which leads to a Shoulder Block, a Spin-Out Power Bomb, and a 5-Knuckle Shuffle (Complete with taunting Batista).
COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back, and Dibiase has Cena in a Headlock. Cena manages to fight out of it, and leaps to tag in Batista. He comes in and cleans house, then goes for a Batista Bomb on Dibiase, but Cena drags out Dibiase and confronts Batista. Cena is sent back to the corner by the ref, which allows Cody to hit a Chop Block on Batista. The Chop Block does NOTHING, as Batista hits a Powerslam just moments later. He tags in (Slaps in, actually) Cena, who once again confronts Batista. Dibiase shoves Cena into Batista, rolls-up Cena and we have NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!
Winners
Rhodes and Ted DibiasePost-Match, Dibiase and Rhodes try to attack Cena and Batista, but they get their asses kicked instead. Cena begins to walk away, but Batista tells him to get back in the ring. Cena obliges, and the security dudes from earlier get in the ring to keep them apart. They managed to have a short (And shitty) brawl, with the higlight being John Cena falling on his ass when he was being separated.
That ends the show, at 11:00 PM (No overrun?)
Overall Thoughts:For a "go-home" show, this was pretty bad. Rhodes and Dibiase getting back the titles was the only good thing (It seems someone realized how STUPID it was to have them drop the belts). The Punk-JBL segment was ok, but nothing mind-blowing. The swerve in the Kane angle could be good if done right, but it still felt like a swerve for the sake of a swerve. The fact that all matches were incredibly short, didn't help the show.
Thumbs down for this week's RAW.
Remember to read Kaedon's NSZ and his SD review, as well as BKB's Hard Justice Review.
That's it for this week, I am out!