Soulpower
Guest
Welcome, to this week's edition of the RAW review. On tap for this week, more build-up to Night of Champions, HBK in the Highlight Reel and Vince Mcmahon gives away money in a desperate attempt to boost ratings.
We are live from Oakland, California home of the Warriors, the Athletics and The (lol) Oakland Raiders.
We start the show with Vince Mcmahon and he gives us this week's password which was WWE Universe. Vince will give away 200 grand after this first match.
Mr.Kennedy (Kennedy) vs Paul Burchill (With incredibly hot sister)
Lock up early, but Kennedy gets the advantage and Backdrops Paul to the outside. Back in the ring, Kennedy hits a drop toehold, but only gets a two count. Headlock by Kennedy but Burchill counters by hitting a Back Suplex on Kennedy. Burchill hits a couple of Clotheslines, but Kennedy comes back with a Spin Kick. Kennedy stumps a mudhole on BUrchill's ass then hits the Facewash for another two count. A couple of counters by both men which leads to Kennedy hitting The Mic Check for the win!
Winner:Mr.Kennedy Kennedy
Post match, Katie slaps Kennedy and Burchill hits his Running Neckbreaker (Now called the Twisted Sister).
It is time to give away some money, and it seems that Vince has never dialed a phone number in his life. Vince calls up a number... AND HE GETS F'N RICK ROLL'D!!. The dude eventually answer the phone and wins 200 grand.
COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back and The Oakland Raiders are in the crowd (Probably sucking, as usual). Vince will give more cash after this match.
Mickie James vs Beth Phoenix (Non-Title Match)
Beth uses her strength early, but Mickie comes back with a flurry of forearms. Beth eventually slams Mickie down but only gets a two count. Beth hits a Backbreaker and stretches Mickie a bit. Mickie knees herself out of that predicament then hits a Head Scissors. Sloppy forearm exchange, followd by a couple of kicks by Mickie, who then hits a Basement Dropkick. James goes uo top, hits a Thesz Press and this one is over!
Winner:Mickie James
Post match, Melina runs out and attacks Beth.
Vince calls some dude, he wins 75K.. It wasn't me, so I don't care.
COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back.. stage, that is. Cena and HHH have a staredown. HHH's part of the promo sounds good, Cena's sounds well... like Cena.
A lot of shit involving Haas, Maria, Mae Young and a lot of peopel NOT answering the phone happens. Eventually, some lucky lady wins money. Guess what? It wasn't me, so I don't care.
JBL is backstage and says that these people don't deserve money (He's right, I DESERVE MONEY!). He also says that Cena will get what he deserve... A WIN!
COMMERCIAL!!
HHH is out and he will join the broadcast table.
JBL vs John Cena (Serously, JBL... WEAR A BRA!)
Lots of clubbing blows by JBL early. Hell, JBL is on offense for about 99% of the match. Cena goes for an FU early, but JBL rolls-out and has a staredown with HHH. After a commercial break, we have JBL still dominating the match. JBL goes for the Lariat of Hell but Cena avoids it and hits a familiar flurry of offense. He goes for the FU yet again, but JBL escapes by raking the eyes. JBL hits the Lariat From Hell, but Cena gets his foot on the ropes. JBL goes to the outside and decides to dismantle the announce table. He gets back in the ring, but Cena gets him in a Small Package and gets the win.
Winner:John Cena
After the match, HHH stands on the announce tableand shows off his belt. John Cena joins up on the table and HHH leaves... But not before tripping up John Cena and making him look like a fool (You know, more than usual).
COMMERCIAL!!!
Lawler pimps the Hulk move and wears those fake Hulk gloves... If it looks familiar, its because he did THE SAME THING THE LAST TIME THEY RELEASED A HULK MOVIE!
Vince gives away 98K due to something about Lillian's measurement. Guess what? I didn't win, so I don't care!
Time for the highlight reel. Jericho puts over Shawn as a mentor, an idol, and a friend. Out comes Shawn Michaels.
Good promo work by both men (No recap!). Jericho asks HBK how he can be such a pathetic excuse for a human being, then CLOTHESLINES HBK! Shawn takes over for a while, but Jericho kicks him in the nuts, then smashes his head on the Obscenely Expensive Jeritron 6000 (In HD). For lack of a better term, Shawn got Jannety'd!
COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back and we get replays of what just happened (The Y2J thing, not the commercial thing). Time for our next match.
Umaga and Snitsky (Dream team!) vs Hardcore Holly and Default
Man, screw this. Boring match to start, Umaga is tagged in and he just starts BEASTING (Much to the fans delight). He hits the Spinning Uranage on Cody Rhodes then murders him with the Samoan Spike for the win. Umaga killing people=Fun for the whole family.
Winners:Umaga and Snitsky
After the match, Ted "Orton" Dibiase gloats and says the same thing he's been saying these past couple of weeks. He's priceless, he'll find a partner for Night Of Champions. I STILL say that Cody will turn on Holly.
Video Package for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Also, COMMERCIALS!!!
We are back, Trevor Murdoch and Jillian Hall are in the ring, they sing. Some "lucky" lady wins two bucks and some dude wins 200K. Guess what? It wasn't me, so I don't care!
We get footage from the Sal vs Santino... thing, on SD.
Cryme Tyme vs Santino and Carlito
Santino and Carlito don't win, shocking, I know. Cryme Tyme get the win after Shad hits an STO on Santino. After the match, Cryme Tyme joins Vince, they give away 51 grand, and do the Money Money, YEAH YEAH shtick.
Commercial!!!
John Cena joins us for commentary, and it is time for our main event!
HHH vs Jeff Hardy
Man.. This was ugly. There are night when Jeff Hardy is a little "off". This felt like one of those nights. Pretty basic match between the two men, but that really wasn't interesting... up until the last couple of minutes. Both Jeff and HHH are on the outside and HHH Hiptosses Hardy (That's a lot of H's) onto John Cena. Jeff gets back in the ring, and HHH goes to do the same but John Cena pulls HHH and slams him into the apron, which causes Jeff Hardy to win via Countout.
Winner:Jeff Hardy (Via Countout)
Post-match, we get a staredown between Cena and HHH. Nothing happens between the two, so Jeff Hardy hits a Slingshot Plancha on both men.
COMMERCIAL!!! (Wait, its already 11:05!)
We are back, Vince gives away 250K. Guess what? It wasn't me, so I don't care!
And that's how the show ends... Really!
Overall thoughts:Bland, boring for the most part. That about describes the show. Kennedy beat Burchill, but the post-match attack means that his feud must continue. Once again, its good to actually hear Paul getting booed. The Jericho heel turn was well done, and although the subtle ode to HBK's heel turn might be lost on some of the younger fans, us old dudes got it, and we probably loved it. They did a good job of continuing with the Cena-HHH build, but it appears (To me anyways) that they'll add Jeff Hardy to the title match at Night of Champions. The rest of the show was again, bland and passable. Thumbs down for this episode with only a couple of things worth watching.
Oh yes... THE GIVEAWAY SUCKED and TOOK WAAAAY TO MUCH TIME! Hopefully, they'll plan this better for next week because they have a lot of kinks to work out. Oh well, at least Vince got Rick Roll'd
It seems I say this every week (Because I do) but remember to read Kaedon's NSZ and his SD review, aswell as the ECW review which I plan on actually doing this week (Seriously).
That's and that's all, I am out!
We are live from Oakland, California home of the Warriors, the Athletics and The (lol) Oakland Raiders.
We start the show with Vince Mcmahon and he gives us this week's password which was WWE Universe. Vince will give away 200 grand after this first match.
Mr.Kennedy (Kennedy) vs Paul Burchill (With incredibly hot sister)
Lock up early, but Kennedy gets the advantage and Backdrops Paul to the outside. Back in the ring, Kennedy hits a drop toehold, but only gets a two count. Headlock by Kennedy but Burchill counters by hitting a Back Suplex on Kennedy. Burchill hits a couple of Clotheslines, but Kennedy comes back with a Spin Kick. Kennedy stumps a mudhole on BUrchill's ass then hits the Facewash for another two count. A couple of counters by both men which leads to Kennedy hitting The Mic Check for the win!
Winner:Mr.Kennedy Kennedy
Post match, Katie slaps Kennedy and Burchill hits his Running Neckbreaker (Now called the Twisted Sister).
It is time to give away some money, and it seems that Vince has never dialed a phone number in his life. Vince calls up a number... AND HE GETS F'N RICK ROLL'D!!. The dude eventually answer the phone and wins 200 grand.
COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back and The Oakland Raiders are in the crowd (Probably sucking, as usual). Vince will give more cash after this match.
Mickie James vs Beth Phoenix (Non-Title Match)
Beth uses her strength early, but Mickie comes back with a flurry of forearms. Beth eventually slams Mickie down but only gets a two count. Beth hits a Backbreaker and stretches Mickie a bit. Mickie knees herself out of that predicament then hits a Head Scissors. Sloppy forearm exchange, followd by a couple of kicks by Mickie, who then hits a Basement Dropkick. James goes uo top, hits a Thesz Press and this one is over!
Winner:Mickie James
Post match, Melina runs out and attacks Beth.
Vince calls some dude, he wins 75K.. It wasn't me, so I don't care.
COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back.. stage, that is. Cena and HHH have a staredown. HHH's part of the promo sounds good, Cena's sounds well... like Cena.
A lot of shit involving Haas, Maria, Mae Young and a lot of peopel NOT answering the phone happens. Eventually, some lucky lady wins money. Guess what? It wasn't me, so I don't care.
JBL is backstage and says that these people don't deserve money (He's right, I DESERVE MONEY!). He also says that Cena will get what he deserve... A WIN!
COMMERCIAL!!
HHH is out and he will join the broadcast table.
JBL vs John Cena (Serously, JBL... WEAR A BRA!)
Lots of clubbing blows by JBL early. Hell, JBL is on offense for about 99% of the match. Cena goes for an FU early, but JBL rolls-out and has a staredown with HHH. After a commercial break, we have JBL still dominating the match. JBL goes for the Lariat of Hell but Cena avoids it and hits a familiar flurry of offense. He goes for the FU yet again, but JBL escapes by raking the eyes. JBL hits the Lariat From Hell, but Cena gets his foot on the ropes. JBL goes to the outside and decides to dismantle the announce table. He gets back in the ring, but Cena gets him in a Small Package and gets the win.
Winner:John Cena
After the match, HHH stands on the announce tableand shows off his belt. John Cena joins up on the table and HHH leaves... But not before tripping up John Cena and making him look like a fool (You know, more than usual).
COMMERCIAL!!!
Lawler pimps the Hulk move and wears those fake Hulk gloves... If it looks familiar, its because he did THE SAME THING THE LAST TIME THEY RELEASED A HULK MOVIE!
Vince gives away 98K due to something about Lillian's measurement. Guess what? I didn't win, so I don't care!
Time for the highlight reel. Jericho puts over Shawn as a mentor, an idol, and a friend. Out comes Shawn Michaels.
Good promo work by both men (No recap!). Jericho asks HBK how he can be such a pathetic excuse for a human being, then CLOTHESLINES HBK! Shawn takes over for a while, but Jericho kicks him in the nuts, then smashes his head on the Obscenely Expensive Jeritron 6000 (In HD). For lack of a better term, Shawn got Jannety'd!
COMMERCIAL!!!
We are back and we get replays of what just happened (The Y2J thing, not the commercial thing). Time for our next match.
Umaga and Snitsky (Dream team!) vs Hardcore Holly and Default
Man, screw this. Boring match to start, Umaga is tagged in and he just starts BEASTING (Much to the fans delight). He hits the Spinning Uranage on Cody Rhodes then murders him with the Samoan Spike for the win. Umaga killing people=Fun for the whole family.
Winners:Umaga and Snitsky
After the match, Ted "Orton" Dibiase gloats and says the same thing he's been saying these past couple of weeks. He's priceless, he'll find a partner for Night Of Champions. I STILL say that Cody will turn on Holly.
Video Package for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Also, COMMERCIALS!!!
We are back, Trevor Murdoch and Jillian Hall are in the ring, they sing. Some "lucky" lady wins two bucks and some dude wins 200K. Guess what? It wasn't me, so I don't care!
We get footage from the Sal vs Santino... thing, on SD.
Cryme Tyme vs Santino and Carlito
Santino and Carlito don't win, shocking, I know. Cryme Tyme get the win after Shad hits an STO on Santino. After the match, Cryme Tyme joins Vince, they give away 51 grand, and do the Money Money, YEAH YEAH shtick.
Commercial!!!
John Cena joins us for commentary, and it is time for our main event!
HHH vs Jeff Hardy
Man.. This was ugly. There are night when Jeff Hardy is a little "off". This felt like one of those nights. Pretty basic match between the two men, but that really wasn't interesting... up until the last couple of minutes. Both Jeff and HHH are on the outside and HHH Hiptosses Hardy (That's a lot of H's) onto John Cena. Jeff gets back in the ring, and HHH goes to do the same but John Cena pulls HHH and slams him into the apron, which causes Jeff Hardy to win via Countout.
Winner:Jeff Hardy (Via Countout)
Post-match, we get a staredown between Cena and HHH. Nothing happens between the two, so Jeff Hardy hits a Slingshot Plancha on both men.
COMMERCIAL!!! (Wait, its already 11:05!)
We are back, Vince gives away 250K. Guess what? It wasn't me, so I don't care!
And that's how the show ends... Really!
Overall thoughts:Bland, boring for the most part. That about describes the show. Kennedy beat Burchill, but the post-match attack means that his feud must continue. Once again, its good to actually hear Paul getting booed. The Jericho heel turn was well done, and although the subtle ode to HBK's heel turn might be lost on some of the younger fans, us old dudes got it, and we probably loved it. They did a good job of continuing with the Cena-HHH build, but it appears (To me anyways) that they'll add Jeff Hardy to the title match at Night of Champions. The rest of the show was again, bland and passable. Thumbs down for this episode with only a couple of things worth watching.
Oh yes... THE GIVEAWAY SUCKED and TOOK WAAAAY TO MUCH TIME! Hopefully, they'll plan this better for next week because they have a lot of kinks to work out. Oh well, at least Vince got Rick Roll'd
It seems I say this every week (Because I do) but remember to read Kaedon's NSZ and his SD review, aswell as the ECW review which I plan on actually doing this week (Seriously).
That's and that's all, I am out!
