Vickie starts out the show and the crowd is shitting all over her. She says they cant understand what its like to be her, how hard it is. Vickie then says she is about to make an announcement about One Night Stand and it is NOT, and I repeat NOT because she is worried about Undertaker. She announces Edge vs. Undertaker in a TLC match, and no, that’s not Tender Lovin Care. FUCK I cant believe I have to miss this because of a wedding. Vickie then says that if the UT loses, he will be “BANISHED†from the WWE. Ha!
Jesse/Festus/Cherry vs. Deuce/Domino/Maryse
Festus tarts off with his hosslike offense and Jesse gets the tag. Jesse shows off his abilities with a nice dropkick and some quick offense. Domino hits a great springboard clothesline and DDM takes over. Domino hits what used to be the Michinoku Driver but only gets a 2. Deuce tags in and takes over on Jesse. DDM cut the ring off with some great heel tactics as Mick calls for some hot diva action. Rear chin lock on Jesse and the crowd gets up but Deuce and Domino pound him down. Jesse is in the enemy corner and fights like hell to get out of it with a nice bulldog. Maryse tags in and Cherry and her go at it while Mick runs through some bad poetry. Cherry hits a nasty looking bulldog that I think almost snaps her neck which brings in everyone. JnF take out DnD and Maryse hits a chick kick for the win.
Winners: Deuce, Domino, and Maryse
Match Rating: **
MVP’s V.I.P. Lounge w/ Teddy R Long
Montell says he was going to let TRL tell his side of what happened last week, but now, he is going to tell Teddy what he REALLY thinks of him. MVP says Teddy was jealous of him from day one and berates him. Teddy says he doesn’t have to take MVPs shit and is about to leave when MVP grabs him and says YOU AINT GOIN. Before Montell can get going on Teddy, Batista comes out. Batista comes out to say thanks and good luck to Teddy Long. Is it me, or is Batista trying to look like Feddie Mercury. MVP and Big Dave talk shit back and forth. MVP, of course, shoots off a little too much and gets his set torn the fuck up as Batista hams it up a bit. Lol. Funny stuff, very entertaining.
Finlay w/ Hornswaggle vs. Chuck Palumbo
Batten down the hatches, this is going to be a straight up brawl! Finlay starts out with a hard elbow to Chuck’s nose. Chuck takes him to the corner with a semi-spear but that leads to a single leg by Finlay and then a little more brawling from the Irishman. Palumbo gains the advantage with his power and takes over with some methodical offense. Hornswaggle gets into it with the supersoaker baiting Chuck to come out. Finlay get a nasty clothesline off and Fit takes over till Chuck hits a NASTY boot right to the face. Back in the ring, Palumbo hammers down fists of fury on Finlay but Finlay grabs and arm and locks in a submission hold. Chuck gets to the ropes and the ref makes them break. Chinlock by Palumbo leads to a stiff clothesline and a 2 count. Side headlock but Finlay fights hard out of it until he gets yet ANOTHER shot to the face. Seriously, he’s getting his skull beaten to shit in this. These guy are wearing me out. Stiff clothesline by Finlay gets him the advantage then a stiff boot by Chuck and he gets it back. Shit man. Horny gets grabbed by Palumbo and gets hit with the old school Muta Myst leading to a Finlay Shalayleigh and that’s it.
Winner: Finlay
Match Rating: **1/2
MVP vs. Batista (19?)
Batista pretty much outwrestles MVP to start out. Yes, he OUT….WRE….STLED him, so enough of the big jacked up roid monkey shit ok? MVP sees he cant keep up that way so he decides to stick and move. Leapfrog, drop down, big boot, wow, that’s athleticism by big B. A huge boot form MVP take Batista out of the ring and we go to commercial.
MVP still has control when we come back. Batista drives MVP into the corner but Montell hits the knee and stops that. MVP to the top and we think were gonna get a Flair toss and wrenches Batista’s arm. MVP works it over around the post among other ways. MVP drives him down but Batista gets back up. MVP hits a nice neckbreaker and sets up for his boot but Batista counters with a spear. High back drop and MVP rolls out soon followed by the Animal. Batista now works over the arm of MVP, tit for tat, as they say. A one arm spinebuster into a one armed Batista Bomb, which looked impressive, and we have a wiener.
Winner: Batista
Match Rating: **3/4
Vladimir Kozlov vs. Nunzio
Squash. Need I say more?
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov
Match Rating: ½*
Matt Hardy and Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin and Elijah Burke
“One of these things just doesn’t belong here……†anyway, Kofi and EJ start out. Kofi gives us a taste of his unusual offense and Matt tags in. Matt gets tangled up with Burke and gets a stiff fucking punch in. Ouch. He then hits his elbow from the second rope and goes for a side effect but its blocked. In comes Shelton and the heels take over. Matt plays the face in peril but manages to make the tag to JAMACIAN ME CRAZY Kofi Kingston who comes in and hits some more awesome moves, one of them being this kick ass sideways head scissors and a high, high, HIGH cross body block. Shelton turns his attention away for ONE second and that’s all it takes as Kofi hits the buzzaw kick for the win.
Winners: Matt Hardy and Kofi Kingston
Match Rating: **3/4
The Undertaker vs. Chavo Guerrero w/ La Familia
Chavo tries to take it to Taker but UT is just too strong. Taker hits Old School and then goes for a boot but gets hung up giving La Familia a chance to take the advantage. The ref thinks something happened and tosses Edge and the Heads out in classic ref fashion. Chavo takes over for a hot minute but UT just takes over. This really isn’t fair, lol. Chavo hits a nice dropkick but meh, its all for naught. This is a nice exhibition of moves and not much else. Chavo gets caught in mid air and its turned into a tombstone.
Winner: The Undertaker
Match Rating: **
This weeks SD was MEH. It was good but not great, and for the third week in a row, no 3 star matches. I don’t get it. Usually MVP and Batista are better. Oh well. MOTN was the tag match, with Batista/MVP in close second. SP usually has a great Raw review, so you should check it out or he’ll jack your car and put it up on blocks.
Jesse/Festus/Cherry vs. Deuce/Domino/Maryse
Festus tarts off with his hosslike offense and Jesse gets the tag. Jesse shows off his abilities with a nice dropkick and some quick offense. Domino hits a great springboard clothesline and DDM takes over. Domino hits what used to be the Michinoku Driver but only gets a 2. Deuce tags in and takes over on Jesse. DDM cut the ring off with some great heel tactics as Mick calls for some hot diva action. Rear chin lock on Jesse and the crowd gets up but Deuce and Domino pound him down. Jesse is in the enemy corner and fights like hell to get out of it with a nice bulldog. Maryse tags in and Cherry and her go at it while Mick runs through some bad poetry. Cherry hits a nasty looking bulldog that I think almost snaps her neck which brings in everyone. JnF take out DnD and Maryse hits a chick kick for the win.
Winners: Deuce, Domino, and Maryse
Match Rating: **
MVP’s V.I.P. Lounge w/ Teddy R Long
Montell says he was going to let TRL tell his side of what happened last week, but now, he is going to tell Teddy what he REALLY thinks of him. MVP says Teddy was jealous of him from day one and berates him. Teddy says he doesn’t have to take MVPs shit and is about to leave when MVP grabs him and says YOU AINT GOIN. Before Montell can get going on Teddy, Batista comes out. Batista comes out to say thanks and good luck to Teddy Long. Is it me, or is Batista trying to look like Feddie Mercury. MVP and Big Dave talk shit back and forth. MVP, of course, shoots off a little too much and gets his set torn the fuck up as Batista hams it up a bit. Lol. Funny stuff, very entertaining.
Finlay w/ Hornswaggle vs. Chuck Palumbo
Batten down the hatches, this is going to be a straight up brawl! Finlay starts out with a hard elbow to Chuck’s nose. Chuck takes him to the corner with a semi-spear but that leads to a single leg by Finlay and then a little more brawling from the Irishman. Palumbo gains the advantage with his power and takes over with some methodical offense. Hornswaggle gets into it with the supersoaker baiting Chuck to come out. Finlay get a nasty clothesline off and Fit takes over till Chuck hits a NASTY boot right to the face. Back in the ring, Palumbo hammers down fists of fury on Finlay but Finlay grabs and arm and locks in a submission hold. Chuck gets to the ropes and the ref makes them break. Chinlock by Palumbo leads to a stiff clothesline and a 2 count. Side headlock but Finlay fights hard out of it until he gets yet ANOTHER shot to the face. Seriously, he’s getting his skull beaten to shit in this. These guy are wearing me out. Stiff clothesline by Finlay gets him the advantage then a stiff boot by Chuck and he gets it back. Shit man. Horny gets grabbed by Palumbo and gets hit with the old school Muta Myst leading to a Finlay Shalayleigh and that’s it.
Winner: Finlay
Match Rating: **1/2
MVP vs. Batista (19?)
Batista pretty much outwrestles MVP to start out. Yes, he OUT….WRE….STLED him, so enough of the big jacked up roid monkey shit ok? MVP sees he cant keep up that way so he decides to stick and move. Leapfrog, drop down, big boot, wow, that’s athleticism by big B. A huge boot form MVP take Batista out of the ring and we go to commercial.
MVP still has control when we come back. Batista drives MVP into the corner but Montell hits the knee and stops that. MVP to the top and we think were gonna get a Flair toss and wrenches Batista’s arm. MVP works it over around the post among other ways. MVP drives him down but Batista gets back up. MVP hits a nice neckbreaker and sets up for his boot but Batista counters with a spear. High back drop and MVP rolls out soon followed by the Animal. Batista now works over the arm of MVP, tit for tat, as they say. A one arm spinebuster into a one armed Batista Bomb, which looked impressive, and we have a wiener.
Winner: Batista
Match Rating: **3/4
Vladimir Kozlov vs. Nunzio
Squash. Need I say more?
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov
Match Rating: ½*
Matt Hardy and Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin and Elijah Burke
“One of these things just doesn’t belong here……†anyway, Kofi and EJ start out. Kofi gives us a taste of his unusual offense and Matt tags in. Matt gets tangled up with Burke and gets a stiff fucking punch in. Ouch. He then hits his elbow from the second rope and goes for a side effect but its blocked. In comes Shelton and the heels take over. Matt plays the face in peril but manages to make the tag to JAMACIAN ME CRAZY Kofi Kingston who comes in and hits some more awesome moves, one of them being this kick ass sideways head scissors and a high, high, HIGH cross body block. Shelton turns his attention away for ONE second and that’s all it takes as Kofi hits the buzzaw kick for the win.
Winners: Matt Hardy and Kofi Kingston
Match Rating: **3/4
The Undertaker vs. Chavo Guerrero w/ La Familia
Chavo tries to take it to Taker but UT is just too strong. Taker hits Old School and then goes for a boot but gets hung up giving La Familia a chance to take the advantage. The ref thinks something happened and tosses Edge and the Heads out in classic ref fashion. Chavo takes over for a hot minute but UT just takes over. This really isn’t fair, lol. Chavo hits a nice dropkick but meh, its all for naught. This is a nice exhibition of moves and not much else. Chavo gets caught in mid air and its turned into a tombstone.
Winner: The Undertaker
Match Rating: **
This weeks SD was MEH. It was good but not great, and for the third week in a row, no 3 star matches. I don’t get it. Usually MVP and Batista are better. Oh well. MOTN was the tag match, with Batista/MVP in close second. SP usually has a great Raw review, so you should check it out or he’ll jack your car and put it up on blocks.
