TRL says all titles will be defended tonight….yipee.
MnM2k8 vs. The Redneck & The Reject for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Why is it Shannon never starts these off? Jimmy and The Miz get off to a quick start and we get some double teaming as Moore tags in. Atomic drop into a Hardylike leg drop but Miz takes over with a stiff right. Morrison tags in and takes over on The Prince Of Punk. Springboard crossbody from Shannon and another double team as Jimmy comes in. Morrison gets caught on the top rope and drags Yang down face first. Miz tags in and locks in an abdominal stretch. Miz and Morrison cut off the ref and do some heel tactics that keeps Jimmy grounded. Jimmy gets a roll up but its all for naught as Miz tags back in. Shannon gets the hot tag and cleans house of MnM2k8 with some great fast paced offense until Morrison hits that nasty kick from the ropes. Backslide by Moore for the 2.99999999999. John hits the Moonlight something (his neckbreaker) for the win.
Winners: MnM2k8
Match Rating: **1/2
Colin Delaney vs. Vladimir Kozlov
Wow. Talk about a glorified squash match. But like they guy or not, he is pretty impressive, moves wise. And he looks like a crazy fuck, like he’s sposed to.
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov
Match Rating: *
Victoria and Nattie Neidhart vs. Michelle McCool and Cherry
Cherry is brutalized to start out but Michelle makes the tag and shows off her athleticism with a flipping armdrag but then botches a monkeyflip. Cherry tags in and hits a cross body from the top but Victoria takes over and her and Natalie take over. Michelle makes the hot tag and takes over. She is about to polish Nattie off but Vicotria pushes Michelle off the top rope and Nattie gets the win.
Winners: Victoria and Nattie Neidhart
Match Rating: *3/4
Mark Henry vs. Nunzio
Nuzio steps out but he isnt alone as he calls out The Big Show, for some reason. Well, I’ll go with it, heh because its fun for me. Nunzio tries to hit and run but it doesn’t work as Meezark is just too god damned big and strong.
Winner: Mark Henry
Match Rating: *
Big Show tells Mark to pick on someone his own size next time.
M.V.P. vs. Matt Hardy for the United States Championship
MVP comes out, all business. Matt Hardy, the same. The bell rings and MVP comes out swinging. Matt settles it down with a side headlock. Waist lock from MVP leads to him jut clubbing on Hardy and vice versa. Clothesline from Matt and we go back to the headlock. MVP falls out of it and then clotheslines Matt. MVP then mounts Hardy and just starts pounding the shit out of him. MVP then locks in his own chin lock that Matt reverses into a jawbreaker. Bulldog by Matt for a 2. V1 hits a falling neckbreaker but its not enough. Matt then locks in another side headlock but MVP gets out of it. MVP then starts hammering down HARD on Matt. Holy stiff fucking punch from Matt. God damn Hardy. That choke on the rope move into a jacknife pin almost gets MVP. MVP misses thebig boot but knock Matt out of the ring and we go to commercial.
Back to the show and Matt is getting rained on from the fists of MVP. A cross arm choke from MVP and Matt is being worn down. Matt fights up but cant get out. He finally throws MVP out into the middle of the ring and hits the side effec t for the 2. A kick takes Matt down and then MVP continues to pound the fuck out of Hardy. MVP hits that huge fucking kick on Matt and then a SECOND one but no! Montell locks in ANOTHER chin lock to wear Matt down some more. Matt is pounded and grounded and pounded until he hits the twist of fate from NOWHERE and gets the win!
Winner: Matt Hardy
Match Rating: **1/2
Mick interviews Batista. He says he isnt going to make excuses and that he got beat and that’s it. Batista says HBK better be hurt, because if he isnt, the Animal is going to hurt him! Rematch? O_O
Jesse & Festus vs. The Edgeheads
Well they don’t have matching tights anymore. I don’t really think that’s a good thing, but whatever. And boy does their music suck. Festus starts out with Hawkins and Jesse tags in. The speed comes in. Ryder tags in but Jesse is just too much for him to handle. Jesse takes his eye off the ball and gets a beating administered to him. The Edgeheads cut the ring off and double teaming. The big man finally shows a weakness as Ryder, I think, hits him with a throat thrust. Well if a big man has a weakness, that’s it. Jesse tags in and Ryder hits a reverse reverse neckbreaker, if that makes sense.
Winners: The Edgeheads
Match Rating: **1/4
Finlay vs. A Jobber
What the fuck is with all of these squash matches?
Winner: Finlay
Match Rating: *
The Undertaker vs. The Great Khali for the World Heavyweight Title
Vickie comes out and says there will not be a title match. She says Taker has been using an ILLEGAL choke and he has been damaging stars all over the WWE. She then BANS the choke hold, which will make the smarks happy since they know so much more about putting a match together than The Undertaker. Vickie then says Taker has been STRIPPED of the World Title! WHAT THE FUCK! Khali then comes out to get the belt. Khali and Taker stare down and go at it. Taker locks in the choke and The Edgeheads steal the WHC Belt!! JESUS CHRIST!!
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!? WHAT THE FUCK!!??? That’s it, lets kick all of these beaners out so this shit doesn’t happen again! All I have to say is asdhf[iwe9ugfyu8wegcuiewghfy8uwegfc98uhewu9dcgew98ychew09gct89ewtgcuiowegcu8yfwevyucvweycuvweiucbwveueyvceuwgbciyewgchpowejfpo0ewhopcwrhgiufwgehoifcgweyucv!
MnM2k8 vs. The Redneck & The Reject for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Why is it Shannon never starts these off? Jimmy and The Miz get off to a quick start and we get some double teaming as Moore tags in. Atomic drop into a Hardylike leg drop but Miz takes over with a stiff right. Morrison tags in and takes over on The Prince Of Punk. Springboard crossbody from Shannon and another double team as Jimmy comes in. Morrison gets caught on the top rope and drags Yang down face first. Miz tags in and locks in an abdominal stretch. Miz and Morrison cut off the ref and do some heel tactics that keeps Jimmy grounded. Jimmy gets a roll up but its all for naught as Miz tags back in. Shannon gets the hot tag and cleans house of MnM2k8 with some great fast paced offense until Morrison hits that nasty kick from the ropes. Backslide by Moore for the 2.99999999999. John hits the Moonlight something (his neckbreaker) for the win.
Winners: MnM2k8
Match Rating: **1/2
Colin Delaney vs. Vladimir Kozlov
Wow. Talk about a glorified squash match. But like they guy or not, he is pretty impressive, moves wise. And he looks like a crazy fuck, like he’s sposed to.
Winner: Vladimir Kozlov
Match Rating: *
Victoria and Nattie Neidhart vs. Michelle McCool and Cherry
Cherry is brutalized to start out but Michelle makes the tag and shows off her athleticism with a flipping armdrag but then botches a monkeyflip. Cherry tags in and hits a cross body from the top but Victoria takes over and her and Natalie take over. Michelle makes the hot tag and takes over. She is about to polish Nattie off but Vicotria pushes Michelle off the top rope and Nattie gets the win.
Winners: Victoria and Nattie Neidhart
Match Rating: *3/4
Mark Henry vs. Nunzio
Nuzio steps out but he isnt alone as he calls out The Big Show, for some reason. Well, I’ll go with it, heh because its fun for me. Nunzio tries to hit and run but it doesn’t work as Meezark is just too god damned big and strong.
Winner: Mark Henry
Match Rating: *
Big Show tells Mark to pick on someone his own size next time.
M.V.P. vs. Matt Hardy for the United States Championship
MVP comes out, all business. Matt Hardy, the same. The bell rings and MVP comes out swinging. Matt settles it down with a side headlock. Waist lock from MVP leads to him jut clubbing on Hardy and vice versa. Clothesline from Matt and we go back to the headlock. MVP falls out of it and then clotheslines Matt. MVP then mounts Hardy and just starts pounding the shit out of him. MVP then locks in his own chin lock that Matt reverses into a jawbreaker. Bulldog by Matt for a 2. V1 hits a falling neckbreaker but its not enough. Matt then locks in another side headlock but MVP gets out of it. MVP then starts hammering down HARD on Matt. Holy stiff fucking punch from Matt. God damn Hardy. That choke on the rope move into a jacknife pin almost gets MVP. MVP misses thebig boot but knock Matt out of the ring and we go to commercial.
Back to the show and Matt is getting rained on from the fists of MVP. A cross arm choke from MVP and Matt is being worn down. Matt fights up but cant get out. He finally throws MVP out into the middle of the ring and hits the side effec t for the 2. A kick takes Matt down and then MVP continues to pound the fuck out of Hardy. MVP hits that huge fucking kick on Matt and then a SECOND one but no! Montell locks in ANOTHER chin lock to wear Matt down some more. Matt is pounded and grounded and pounded until he hits the twist of fate from NOWHERE and gets the win!
Winner: Matt Hardy
Match Rating: **1/2
Mick interviews Batista. He says he isnt going to make excuses and that he got beat and that’s it. Batista says HBK better be hurt, because if he isnt, the Animal is going to hurt him! Rematch? O_O
Jesse & Festus vs. The Edgeheads
Well they don’t have matching tights anymore. I don’t really think that’s a good thing, but whatever. And boy does their music suck. Festus starts out with Hawkins and Jesse tags in. The speed comes in. Ryder tags in but Jesse is just too much for him to handle. Jesse takes his eye off the ball and gets a beating administered to him. The Edgeheads cut the ring off and double teaming. The big man finally shows a weakness as Ryder, I think, hits him with a throat thrust. Well if a big man has a weakness, that’s it. Jesse tags in and Ryder hits a reverse reverse neckbreaker, if that makes sense.
Winners: The Edgeheads
Match Rating: **1/4
Finlay vs. A Jobber
What the fuck is with all of these squash matches?
Winner: Finlay
Match Rating: *
The Undertaker vs. The Great Khali for the World Heavyweight Title
Vickie comes out and says there will not be a title match. She says Taker has been using an ILLEGAL choke and he has been damaging stars all over the WWE. She then BANS the choke hold, which will make the smarks happy since they know so much more about putting a match together than The Undertaker. Vickie then says Taker has been STRIPPED of the World Title! WHAT THE FUCK! Khali then comes out to get the belt. Khali and Taker stare down and go at it. Taker locks in the choke and The Edgeheads steal the WHC Belt!! JESUS CHRIST!!
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!? WHAT THE FUCK!!??? That’s it, lets kick all of these beaners out so this shit doesn’t happen again! All I have to say is asdhf[iwe9ugfyu8wegcuiewghfy8uwegfc98uhewu9dcgew98ychew09gct89ewtgcuiowegcu8yfwevyucvweycuvweiucbwveueyvceuwgbciyewgchpowejfpo0ewhopcwrhgiufwgehoifcgweyucv!
